Original subtitles

Have you ever wondered

why a lot of things must come in pairs?

Be it friends

or

lovers.

Once you find the right person,

it's always worth the effort

to go after them.

Throughout my life as a chic guy,

I've been with many girls.

-Ying. -Yes?

Let's go and see a movie after this.

I have a math session after.

-What about tomorrow? -I have biology.

-What about the day after? -The day after?

I have physics, chemistry, social studies, science, English,

and back to math again.

Lychee.

I look fat. Let's take another one.

Cherry.

-Cherry. -Cherry.

Are we done? Let's eat.

Wait.

Let's take another selfie.

-Strawberry. -Strawberry.

Should we just get the check?

Baby, what should we order?

What would you like?

-Anything. -Do you want ice cream?

It's fattening.

-How about honey toast? -It's too sweet.

They have pudding, shaved ice, and cream puffs.

I'm sick of them.

Then what would you like?

Anything.

Are you mad at me about something, Namwan?

No!

That was a firm no.

If I did something to upset you,

I'm sorry.

Why are you saying sorry? I said I'm not mad.

I'm not mad!

Then why are you--

Shut up.

But none of them felt right,

so I came to this university with the goal of finding a new partner.

I never thought that

the one for me

would be so different from everyone else.

The cheerleading audition is over,

but my search for love is not.

Does the costume fit?

This year's costume is a bit tight.

It fits me perfectly, Fang.

That's great.

Anyway, I just realized that

I'm your senior mentor.

That's right.

Why do you want to be a cheerleader?

Well,

I want to have a good experience

and make new friends.

That's good. By the way,

someone wrote you a letter.

Damn. You just got here, and you're already popular.

Come on.

I don't care about that stuff.

I want to focus on my studies and school activities.

That's very good.

We have a get-together between mentors and mentees next week.

I'll see you then.

I'm going to open it.

Tine, I've had my eyes on you since the initiation ceremony.

There's something I want to tell you.

Meet me by the football field.

Well, what do you want to tell me?

I don't have much time.

Are you talking to me?

That's right. Didn't you write me this letter?

Are you crazy?

Do you think you're Tom Cruise?

You lunatic.

I wrote it.

My name is Green.

I'm a first-year humanity student.

Here.

Thanks.

Tine Teepakorn, first-year law student.

I like you.

What?

Finally,

you've found your soulmate.

Stop teasing me, Fong.

Are you a homophobe?

Are you crazy?

I had lots of gay friends back in high school,

but don't you understand that I don't want to date them?

Just turn him down then.

I already did.

I told him over and over that I like girls.

But look at this.

He said he would do whatever it takes to change my mind.

Damn.

He's really determined.

-Who wants to join Team Green? -Me.

Phuak, you jerk.

Can't you see I'm stressed out?

Jeez.

Relax, man.

If you're not interested,

he will give up eventually. Trust me.

-That's right. -Really?

The snacks are so tasty.

-They are. -They're delicious.

STUDENT DORMITORY

Tine!

Your ride is here.

Hop on.

Come on. Let's get going.

Come on. I'm ready.

Tine!

Tine, wait for me!

Guess who I ran into this morning?

-Who? -Who?

Was it Green?

Yes. He came to pick me up at my dorm.

I'm lucky to have gotten away.

How did you know it was him?

There. I see a guy heading towards you.

Tine.

I bought you Blue Hawaii soda, your favorite.

Take it.

Drink up.

"I may not look very pretty,

but I'm so damn yummy."

What?

Thank you.

"I love you, Tine."

Do you want anything else, Tine?

You can have my heart.

Damn it.

Why didn't he just poop for me too?

-I told you he's determined. -Fuck.

What did you tell me?

You said he would give up if I showed no interest.

And what's this?

You guys must help me think

of how to get rid of him.

I have an idea.

If you couldn't get rid of him by being nice,

you'll have to play hardball.

-Hardball. -Hardball?

That's right.

Is hardball...

like football?

You could kick the ball on its head.

Come on, guys. Be serious.

A baseball is way better.

-We could hit him with a baseball bat. -Right.

That would scare him.

Right.

How about a basketball?

That would work too.

Tine.

I'm glad you asked me out for a walk,

but this place is...

What's wrong?

It's pretty here.

The atmosphere is really nice.

There's nothing pretty about it.

Let's go somewhere else, Tine.

Let's go.

Let's stay for a bit. It's pretty here.

Look, Green.

What?

It's so pretty.

How is it pretty?

Did you hear people talking?

Hey!

You two are annoying. What are you doing here so late?

Seeing two people in love

really gets on my nerves.

If you don't want to wake up in a hospital,

you must break up

and cut the lovey-dovey crap.

Green, let's just do as they say,

so we don't get hurt.

It's just breaking up.

-That's right. -Yes.

Tine, wait for me here.

I'll handle them.

Damn. He's got balls.

He's got balls...

Wait. Stop.

-Come on. -Holy shit!

Are you Green or John Wick?

-Shit. -Well,

I used to do a little bit of boxing.

-But-- -Not just a little, I think.

Are you okay, Tine?

Are you hurt? Did they hurt you? There's a mosquito.

Tine, let me walk you home.

You might be in danger if those guys come back.

I'll protect you.

Are you sure you're okay? Let me see.

You're so fragile. Let me look after you.

Here we are.

Are you sure you don't want me to stay over?

It's okay. I'm fine. You should go.

I'm begging you.

-Just go. -Fine. I'll leave.

But if something happens,

you can call me at any time.

I'll get a room around here just in case.

-Call me. -Just go.

-Be safe. -Just go

How are you doing, my buddy?

Not so well, buddy.

All of my friends left me back there.

Come on, man. How could we not leave?

He almost broke my arms.

I don't think we can do this on our own.

We need help.

Help?

-Yes. -Should we get a boxer or a weightlifter?

That's not what we mean.

What we're trying to say is

you should get a fake girlfriend to trick Green.

-What? A girlfriend? -Yes.

The reason Green won't leave you alone

is because you're single.

If you find someone to date,

he will have to give up.

You're right.

Who should it be?

All the pretty girls on our campus aren't single.

What about that girl in your dorm

who asked for your LINE ID?

She's single, but she's not pretty.

If I date her,

it will hurt my image.

Why are you so picky about choosing a fake girlfriend?

Just find a pretty girl

who's willing to help you, and your problem will be solved.

Actually, there is one girl who is pretty

and also single.

But...

But you're the one who dumped me.

I'm not asking you to get back together.

Just pretend to be my girlfriend.

We're going to the same school.

Can't you help me out?

What's in it for me?

What do you want? You can have anything.

-I want-- -"Anything"?

I want an Armani, Gucci, or Prada bag.

Any one of those brands would do.

Damn.

I see you're not so picky anymore.

Fine. I'll rent you one.

You'll buy me one.

You want me to buy one?

All right.

I'll help you then.

Just don't let my boyfriend know.

No problem.

I'll see you on Friday at the Freshy Night event.

We're going to break someone's heart.

Tine.

Have you been waiting long? You must be lonely.

Not that long. I'm not lonely though

because I'm not here alone.

What do you mean?

Well...

This is Noomnim, my girlfriend.

Do you see now why we can't be together?

You should get over me.

Fine.

Tine, wasn't that too harsh?

Well...

I'm sorry I had to do this.

I just really don't want you to waste your time on me.

So you got someone else's girlfriend

to fool me?

Yes.

How did you know?

Noomnim is my friend's girlfriend.

I see her on campus every day.

What a small world.

Wait. If you knew,

why are you crying?

I'm just hurt

that you tried to fool me like this.

But once you came to comfort me,

I finally understood.

Understood what?

I finally understand that

you just wanted to test me if I really love you, right?

No.

-That's not it. -It is.

-You're wrong. -Come on. Don't be shy.

-That's what this is about! -No.

I love you even more now, you know.

Let's go inside.

-Come on. Let's go in. -Go where? I'm not going.

Bye, Noomnim. I'll see you around campus.

Come on, Tine.

There's so much food inside.

Just throw it.

You suck.

That was so close!

I'll knock them all down for sure this time.

I still have plan B.

What if this plan fails again?

I have plan B.

Here.

It's here.

This is a sleeping pill.

Get Green to take it

and get out of there as fast as you can.

We'll handle the rest for you.

Are you serious?

-Yes. -Yes.

Can I get three more balls, please?

Don't restack them.

-Can I keep going? -Let's do this.

Green.

You're thirsty, right?

I'll get you a drink.

What is he talking about?

Is he crazy?

"Pick-Me-Up Pandan."

Let's go with something else.

"The Muse of Roselle"?

"Wild Chrysanthemum Tonic."

"Elephant-Power Black Tea."

-I'll have two. -Sure.

-How much? -Twenty baht.

All right.

It's the one on the right.

Remember it's the one on the right.

What are you doing?

-What? -Why are you taking so long?

I'm getting you a drink.

What drink is that?

Here. It's Elephant-Power Black Tea.

That's some powerful stuff.

It's really good.

Is it left or right?

Which one is it?

It doesn't matter.

Come on. The next band is about to go on.

That's the right one.

I shouldn't have stayed up watching TV.

Wait a minute.

Did you yawn because you stayed up late watching a TV series?

Yes.

It was almost morning when I finished it.

That means this drink...

Tine.

Testing one, two.

Tine.

Are you okay? Are you sick?

Should I take you to your dorm?

-After a long wait, -It's okay.

the band is ready to perform.

Please welcome

the Sssss..! band on stage.

Hello. We are the Sssss..! band.

DORMITORY

Shit. The light hurts my eyes.

I'm sorry, man.

Sorry.

We helped get you out of there.

If Green hadn't got distracted by the guitarist,

you would be in his room right now.

Getting a fake girlfriend won't work.

Green isn't threatened by girls.

He said

he would do whatever it takes to make me like him.

Then you should go out with a guy.

Are you nuts?

No. What I mean is

you should find a guy to be your fake boyfriend.

Green will finally give up.

Personally, I think this guy

is perfect for the job.

-Introduce yourself! -Introduce yourself!

-Introduce yourself! -Introduce yourself!

-Introduce yourself! -Introduce yourself!

-Introduce yourself! -Introduce yourself!

I'm just filling in for my friend.

I won't introduce myself.

Right now, this guy is the talk of social media.

There are thousands of messages from people trying to get info on him.

I think it will take someone like him

to get Green to back off.

But how can we ask him for help?

We don't know his name or his major.

Did you forget who I am? I'm Ohm,

the social media god.

I can easily find that out for you.

It's up to you whether you'll do it or not.

Like I have a choice.

But from what we know,

our target is a private person.

He has neither LINE nor Facebook.

He's not on Instagram.

-Slow down. -It's LINE. That's Instagram.

You talk too fast.

I spent hours browsing through the Cute Boy Page,

but I couldn't find anything interesting.

No one goes to Cute Boy Page anymore.

Gummy Boy is what's hot right now.

It's Yummy Boy.

Whatever.

See? What did I tell you?

Look.

Sarawat, a Political Science student majoring in IR.

What a strange name.

We know where he is. Let's go.

-Wait. -Slow down.

You don't even know what he's like.

How are you going to talk to him?

You're right.

NO FB, NO IG SULLEN-WART

Hey.

Someone posted a clip of their encounter with Sarawat.

-Look. -Sarawat.

I bought you snacks.

I don't like sweets.

What do you like then?

Nothing.

Don't you like anything?

Or...

I don't like people buying me food.

It's okay. I'll take them.

-Thank you. -I got them for Sarawat.

Shit.

How hot does he think he is?

I don't even dare do that though I'm more handsome.

Come here. Let me have a look.

Let me see.

What part of you is handsome? Why haven't I noticed it?

Here.

There's more.

There's another clip.

Excuse me, can we get a picture?

Just do as they ask.

Okay. One, two...

Here.

Damn this guy. Not only is he unfriendly,

but he's also a jerk.

I've hit the jackpot.

Someone found his class schedule.

His class is almost over.

What do you say, Tine? Should we go?

-Yes. What are we waiting for? -Let's go.

Looks like I'm not the only one

who wants to see Sarawat.

On the bright side,

this means our source is correct.

Correct, my ass.

I just got an update

that his schedule was fake.

Sarawat is actually at the main building.

-"The main building"? -"The main building"?

-"The main building"? -"The main building"?

That's it.

That's how it all started.

I'm running to find my other half

and I stop short

at him.

Sarawat.

Sarawat.

Asshole!

I'm sorry.

I...

I...

What do you want?

I...

Just say it. I'm in a hurry.

Well...

Well, I...

If you keep staring at me,

I'll knock you out with a kiss.

What a nuisance.

Sarawat.

Sarawat, you asshole.

Stop ranting already.

Just decide if you'll keep going or pick a new target.

No.

A tough guy like him

is a good match for a chic guy like me.

Anyway, have you found anything else about him?

We found nothing. He keeps to himself even more now.

Yummy Boy Page got nothing on him either.

No one goes to Yummy Boy Page anymore.

Where should we be looking then?

Don't tell me you got new information on him.

That's right.

Do you know

that Sarawat's fans

created a secret group chat

to share information.

I think it's called

"Team Sarawat's Wives."

That's what it's called.

Here. I just found his contact info.

Let me see. Is it his number or LINE ID?

It's an email address.

-An email address? -Yes.

I won't chat with him via email.

You can either send him an email

or wait around for him every day,

but I don't know when you'll get to see him.

Take your pick.

I'll send him an email.

Dear Sarawat...

HELLO

My name is Tine.

I'm the guy you said you'd kiss.

I need your help with something.

Are you free tomorrow?

You can name the place.

I'll meet you anywhere.

How did you get here?

Didn't you ask to see me?

I did, but...

I didn't think you would come here.

You said we could meet anywhere.

What are you doing?

I'm helping you.

Should I start now?

Wait a second.

I don't mean this kind of help.

What I mean is I want you to...

HELLO BACK

Are you so horny that you sent me an email asking for sex?

You can name the place, then you should just do it with a dog, you pervert.

You asshole. Is this how you want to play?

All right.

You asked for it.

People in Sarawat's Wives' group said

-he drives a white car. -What? A white car?

The rear window has stickers on it.

Rear window stickers?

He likes to park behind the faculty's building.

I have to go. I think I found it.

Is this your car, Professor?

I'm sorry.

Sarawat?

Sarawat.

Wat.

Wat, wait.

Wat.

Wat.

Wat.

Can I talk to you?

Can we talk?

I don't talk to strangers.

Strangers, my ass.

You wanted to kiss me yesterday.

Give me five minutes.

-Just five minutes. -No.

Three minutes then.

No.

Give me ten seconds.

Nine,

-eight, seven... -Wait.

Well...

I want to ask you

-to-- -Time's up.

Wait.

Look what he did to me.

I put myself out there for him,

and he still ignored me.

But there isn't a chance

that I'll stop here.

I will never give up

and let him win.

Tine.

How are you feeling?

Where am I?

You're at the university, of course.

Or do you want to go to my place?

I'm kidding.

You're lucky I found you lying on the ground.

I took you here and helped nurse you.

Without me,

you would be dead.

How about this?

I'll stay over with you tonight to take care of you.

Let me call my parents.

Tine, wait for me.

-Hey, Tine. -Fang.

I'm heading to the mentor-mentee party. Do you need a ride?

It's okay. I'm about to

-go look for someone. -Tine!

-Wait for me! -Forget it. I'll go with you.

-Tine! -Let's go.

-Tine! -Let's go.

Wait for me!

Wait!

Let's hear it for Ann.

Do your best.

My name is Ann, and I'm a freshman.

I don't like to pout because I like to smile.

Do you, seniors, like it?

Good job.

Well done. Come here, dear.

Do you want some?

-Let's drink. -Cheers.

All right. Who's next?

Where are you going? You're up next.

I'm going to the restroom.

Don't be shy. Come on.

Get up there and introduce yourself. This is our tradition.

Don't be shy. Go on.

-It's our tradition. That's right. -Me?

Come on. Even Ann could do it. Go on, Tine.

-Let's hear it for Tine. -Go on.

He's shy.

Go on then.

You may start.

My name is Tine, and I'm a freshman.

-You can do better than that! -I'm a chic guy...

-Don't hold back. -Come on.

Is that all you got?

Show us what you got!

Come on, Tine. You can do it.

My name is Tine. I'm a freshman.

I'm chic and I'm sweet.

I can be a top or a bottom.

I'll knock you off your feet.

-Keep going. -We want to see more.

Get down here.

-Come on. -Let's hear it for him.

Your scream was awesome.

It was spot on.

Here's to Tine.

-To Tine. -To Tine.

What was so funny?

Do you have a problem with how I introduced myself?

No. I think it was cute.

Hey.

Hey!

What are you doing?

-Can I have your number? -Give me that.

-Give it to me. -Hey.

Give it back.

If you want it back,

-give me your number. -Give it back.

What are you playing at?

Shit.

I'm sorry.

I'll pay for the repair.

What are you doing?

-Give me that. -Hey.

What will I do if you disappear?

You get my phone fixed first,

and you'll get your phone back.

Don't you trust me?

No.

Shit.

How much will this cost me?

Congratulations, man.

You finally got his number.

I got his number,

but I also have to pay for the phone repair.

Is this worth it?

At least you'll be able to get rid of Green.

Isn't that worth it?

You're right.

There must be something on his phone

that I can use to blackmail him

into helping me.

Wait a minute.

Aren't you afraid he will check your phone?

Don't worry.

My phone is locked.

There's no way he can hack into it.

What's wrong with my Facebook?

Are they spams?

TINE IS A CHIC GUY

"What a yummy-looking guy."

"I want a taste of Sarawat."

You asshole!

Subtitle translation by Pannapat Tammasrisawat