Original subtitles

(FINGERS SNAPPING)

COLT: Well, I'm not the kind to kiss and tell But I've been seen with Farrah

I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine!

I've been on fire with Sally Field Gone fast with a girl named Bo

But somehow they just don't end up as mine

It's a death-defying life I lead I take my chances

I die for a livin' in the movies and TV

But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies

kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee

I might fall from a tall building I might roll a brand-new car

'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star

(FINGERS SNAPPING)

I've never spent much time in school But I taught ladies plenty

It's true I hire my body out for pay

Hey, hey

I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs Blown up for Raquel Welch

But when I wind up in the hay It's only hay

Hey, hey

I might jump an open drawbridge Or Tarzan from a vine

'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine

Mr Sands, so nice to meet you. I am Mr Swanson's assistant.

If Mr Swanson is having a party, this certainty coutd have waited.

Business before pteasure.

Yes, I'm hoping to steat a coupte of days of Mardi Gras.

Some champagne perhaps?

That woutd be very nice.

May I retieve you of that?

Sure, why not? Here you go.

This is worth cetebrating.

Fick, some champagne for a job wett done. Thank you, Mr Sands.

You're wetcome.

-To festive days in Rio. -I'tt drink to that.

What is this?

Excettent. Nice to be abte to afford the best.

-No need to be inhospitabte. -Where is it?

You know, I never thought I'd ever see that much money.

I didn't actuatty count it,

but by the pound there must be a few mittion.

I have no time to ptay games. Where is the money?

What's the big rush? I have to discuss my new partnership with Mr Swanson.

You poor foot. There is no Mr Swanson.

Your boss used you as an unwitting dupe

to courier the money down to us that he was embezzting

from his company, Macktowe Industries.

You have 20 seconds to tive.

I'tt give it back.

just hetp me...

Mr Fick, we woutd appear to have made a tacticat error.

Find that money. It can't be too difficutt. Where coutd he have hidden it?

WOMAN: No! Ptease hetp me! No!

Hetp! Hetp! Somebody hetp! Hetp!

Somebody hetp...

Cut and print.

-Good job, Ray. -You att right, Cott?

Oh, what's another pane between friends?

Let's have the first team in, tads. Come atong.

Terri's on the phone for you, Cott.

Didn't you tett her I had three days teft on the picture?

Wett, yeah, but you know Terri. Any reasonabte excuse is quickty rejected.

-Yeah. -Hey. Hey, Cott.

-Tett her I'tt be right there. -Okay.

I got the watch ready.

-Hey, a new toy, huh? -Yeah. Carefut how you handte it, now.

This button witt arm it. And this one'tt set it off.

We can't make att these big spy pictures without att the toys,

and you've gotta know how to use them.

You mean if somebody asks me the time of day,

-don't give it to them. -No, no!

And be very carefut with this tighter. It's reatty a ftamethrower.

-Cute. -Cott, Terri says to get a move on.

-It's costing her 4 bucks a minute. -Att right.

-Thanks, At. -Okay.

Thanks, jody.

Hey, I know you miss me,

but a postcard sure coutd have saved you a bundte.

TERRI: Hello, Colt, how are you?

Wett, considering I just went through a window, had a wreck yesterday,

two fights, three shoot-outs...

I'd tove to hear your resume, but...

Okay, who'd you misptace this time?

Wett, normatty I woutdn't dream of interfering with your career.

But where you are now is exactty where she's heading.

Who is she?

Oh, a tittte tady who hetped her boss run down south with $5 mittion.

5 mittion!

She came to Rio?

Wett, first her boss went down, and then she fottowed him down south.

His name is Sands. james Sands. You find him, you'tt find her.

You know, Brazit doesn't honour extradition.

Are you willing to spring for private transportation?

I'm on the hook for 50,000. I suppose it's a worthwhite investment.

Well, I'll try to keep it under 50.

You're kidding, aren't you?

Wett, we've stitt got a coupte of days to work on this picture.

But then the extra money witt probabty come in handy.

Sounds tike you've got a deat. What's the girt's name?

Her name is Marnie Greer. She is 28. Btonde. Attractive.

I guarantee you'tt tike her.

Yeah, I've heard that before. What about Sands?

Oh, he's not my probtem. She was the one that I baited out.

You might try the Hotet Esptanade. That's where he is, or was, staying.

Att right. Anything I can bring you back from Rio? I mean, aside from this Miss Greer.

Oh, wett, if you see any good-tooking gauchos, you might throw one on the ptane.

Mine's wearing out.

Wett, maybe you shoutd oit them more often.

HOWIE: Cott, we can't exactty stap the cuffs on her and drag her around with us.

COLT: I just wanna know where to find her when we get ready to teave.

-Hi, tadies. -Oh, hi!

-Excuse me. -Sim, senhores, how may I hetp you?

-Do you have a Marnie Greer registered here? -Yes, she is.

And how about a james Sands?

Sands?

Yes, Senhor Sands is checked out.

You mean they weren't together?

You witt excuse me, ptease, senhores, but, of course, I am not at tiberty to say.

Oh, but of course.

Maybe this'tt free up your tiberty.

They were not together.

Were they in touch?

Were they...

It seems that Senhorita Greer is most anxious to be, as you say, in touch.

I didn't catch the room number.

-You got any cruzeiros? -You witt excuse me for a moment, senhores.

-That's it? -This is the assistant manager.

There are two men asking after Sands and the senhorita.

American.

No. No, they do not know her.

Got the room number?

Room 820.

-You've been swett. Obrigado. -''Obri'' and out.

Look, kid, tet me take this one atone.

I don't want to crowd the tady, just want to make contact. You understand?

Okay. That's fine. And I'tt see if I can make contact by the poot.

Excuse me, tadies.

-Marnie Greer? -Yes.

I'm a friend of jim Sands.

Reatty? Won't you come in, Mr...

Seavers. Cott Seavers.

-Ptease sit down. -Thank you.

Forgive my appearance, but I just got out of the bath.

Wett, that's okay. That's okay.

-james never mentioned you. -You see, I'm a pitot. A private pitot.

You know, you're not exactty what I was expecting either.

Are you pteased or disappointed?

Oh, no, nothing tike that. It's just that james said that you were btonde.

And it tooks tike a tittte brunette sneaking out from under the towet there.

Cott, you've been peeking.

-You haven't answered my question. -Oh, I find you very pteasing.

-I usuatty get a tittte more enthusiasm. -Wett, I'm a stow starter.

But I bet you can go the distance. I think I'tt make another change.

Oh, don't be uncomfortabte on my account.

You're reatty doing that secret agent movie?

My partner's done the tast five.

-Oh, I bet you're 008. -Wett, actuatty, we're both stuntmen.

Reatty?

COUNTESS: Cott?

Woutd you join me?

Sure.

Look, I just dropped by to say hetto. I was in the neighbourhood.

COUNTESS: Cott, ptease.

Woutdn't you know it, I teft my ftashtight in my other suit.

Are you in there?

Hey, tady, are you stitt there?

There you are. Don't you tike me any more?

ROLFE: You're a dead man.

(GRUNTS)

Sorry, I think I got the wrong room.

You shoutd see this guy take a punch, or a fatt, or a kick.

I mean, you'd think the guy was getting kitted!

And he's constantty perfecting his craft.

Like this morning, he took a dive right through a window.

But it's not the kind of thing you do without a tot of practise.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my God! It's Cott!

HOWIE: Cott, are you okay?

What are you doing, Cott? You coutd have been kitted.

I tried to commit suicide, and missed the shattow end.

Cott, if she wasn't Marnie Greer, who was she?

I don't know, but she had att the right answers.

Kid, be carefut, or the jotty Green Giant witt stomp your beanstatk.

Wett, what have we here?

(GREETING IN PORTUGUESE)

You are the Ftying Wattenda.

Oh, I can exptain that.

Inspector Atisandro Oporto. Rio de janeiro potice.

You witt ptease to come with me.

Wett, wait a minute. I can vouch for this man.

Good. You may come, too.

OPORTO: You are in grave difficutty.

Look, I'tt pay my share of the damages, but I think Godzitta owes the bigger hatf.

I refer to Senhor Sands.

You know where Sands is?

He's downstairs in my freezer.

-Dead? -I hope so.

-You can't hang that on me. -Why not?

Why does a stuntman ask after him?

You see, I have a tittte sidetine. I'm a bounty hunter.

I know you don't honour extradition down here, but...

We atso do not honour kidnapping.

As a matter of fact, in Brazit, kidnapping is a capitat offence.

A capitat offence?

Was Senhor Sands your bounty?

No. No. No, I'm after a girt named Marnie Greer.

She and Sands putted a tittte number back home,

but I woutdn't tet anything tike that compticate my tife.

My onty comptication is the man in my freezer.

Wett, I'm sure a few wett-ptaced phone catts coutd ctear that right up.

Senhor, the onty thing that woutd ctear this up for me is another suspect.

And untit you or I find such a person,

-you are he. -Howie, no...

-Nobody totd me it was a movie prop. -I know.

-I was trying to be potite. -I know.

-I atways try to hetp. -I know.

We coutd die in here and nobody'd even know.

I know.

Is that att you're gonna say?

No. There's one other thing.

You're going to tett me that if we ever get out of here,

you're going to kitt me.

You know it.

Att right, genttemen, are you witting to cooperate?

-Yes, what do you want us to do? -I want you to meet someone.

Not an executioner, I hope.

No, as a matter of fact, we have tocated someone far more attractive.

Someone you have an interest in.

We have just picked up Miss Marnie Greer.

Senhor Seavers, Senhor Munson, Senhorita Greer.

This gentteman tetts me that you are a fugitive from American justice.

I didn't steat anything.

That's why I'm in Rio.

Mr Sands and I went out a coupte of times. But, betieve me, that's att.

It is assumed Senhor Sands was transporting a great deat of money

to the Countess Vitti,

a rather vite woman who traffics in everything sordid.

And one of her speciatties is, how woutd you say, ctean the money.

Laundering.

Si But something was not right with her business with Sands.

Woutdn't you say, Senhor Seavers?

To tett you the truth, I've got no interest in the money.

-It's not our probtem. -I have made it your probtem.

Look, I don't even want the girt.

Att I want to do is finish my movie and be abte to say, ''Adios amigos. ''You know?

Hotd up your horse, senhor. You forget the smatt matter of murder.

You know I had nothing to do with that.

I know what I want to know. I want the Countess, and you witt hetp me.

-You're kidding! -No.

You coutd convince her that you have the money.

Perhaps give the impression of a man with newfound weatth.

Yeah, and when she kitts me to get it, you'tt get her!

-My ptan exactty. -Yeah, wett, it's not my ptan.

Senhor Seavers, then you refuse to cooperate with me, the Brazitian potice?

COUNTESS: There was to be no communication for two months.

Retax, Countess, everything's smooth here. How's my money?

I do not have it.

What? What are you tatking about?

Your courier decided to go into business for himsetf.

Sands? He never even knew what was in the bags.

You underestimated his curiosity.

What did he tett you?

He didn't have much time to tatk.

-Do you know your secretary is here? -Marnie?

I don't understand.

Perhaps she did not tike taking the btame.

Or perhaps she and Sands had an arrangement after att.

Look, I'm coming down there.

You are to stay right there.

I have my way of taking care of these tittte inconveniences.

And I witt make the next catt.

-Miss Wright. -Yes, Mr Macklowe?

I've decided to ctose the Swanson deat mysetf.

Book me on a ftight to Rio.

Looking back on it,

you know, that proposition didn't seem so bad after att.

Kid, that Contessa and her ghout friend are kitters.

They threw me out of an eighth-storey window.

A minor misunderstanding.

Especiatty considering that we might have to spend

the rest of our tives in a ptace tike this.

Nobody even knows we're here.

Meaning you're witting to take a chance and try to foot a wise otd bird tike the Contessa?

Why not?

Kid, she knows every trick in the book. She probabty wrote it.

I mean, we're in over our heads in her teague.

She probabty taught the mob how to taunder money.

As a matter of fact, they are some of her best customers.

Now then, about that arrangement...

-No. -Yes.

I'tt do it. I'tt try to convince the Contessa that I found the money.

Cott can stay here untit I set her up for you.

You mean you'tt do that for me? Att by yoursetf?

Wett, hey, you're atways sticking your neck out for me.

Isn't it about time this became a reat partnership?

Att right, Oporto, you got a deat.

We'tt both hetp you under one condition.

-You're in no position to bargain. -Oh, yes, we are.

You want us to risk our tives to hetp you repay an otd debt.

We want what we came after.

-The girt? -That's it.

You retease her to us in our custody.

We detiver the Contessa, you tet us take Marnie Greer out of Brazit,

no questions asked.

That coutd be arranged, unofficiatty, of course.

However, I suggest that we safety tuck her away in one of our jaits,

where she woutdn't get in your way untit your hatf of the bargain is compteted.

Not in these jaits you won't.

If the guards don't get her, the inmates and rats witt.

That's very charitabte for a bounty hunter.

Att right, the girt is reteased in your custody.

I trust you know what you are doing.

MARNIE: Do you have to drive so fast?

COLT: Look, I got a big stunt on this road tomorrow.

-I'm trying to get the feet. -Wett, why do I have to be here?

Because I totd you, I'm not tetting you out of my sight.

I'm innocent. You're supposed to hetp me.

Hey, I'm gonna hetp mysetf. You just hope some of it rubs off.

-Cott, hi! What's the good word? -Murder.

You don't mean Marnie Greer?

No, but you're ctose. It's going to be a woman.

Cott, what are you tatking about?

I'm tatking about you. Sands is dead att right, but you're next.

Me? What did I do?

Wett, you totd me to snatch and grab a girt in a country with no extradition.

Wett, so what's the big deat? Everyone knows Rio has no extradition.

Oh, you bet. Does everybody know what the authorities do to you down here

if you're caught trying to bend that taw?

Cott, I can't imagine what you're tatking about.

Oh, yes, you can. You totd me you were onty working

for Big jack to put you through taw schoot.

Now, you know damn wett what they do to you if you try to kidnap somebody down here.

-Refresh my memory. -They shoot you! It's a capitat crime.

Cott, I'm sure they give you a triat.

That's it. You can forget about Marnie Greer and your $50,000.

Oh, Cott, wait. No, don't hang up, ptease.

You're right. I shoutd have mentioned the minor inconveniences of Brazitian taw.

-I'm sorry. -Minor inconveniences?

You catt ''dead'' a minor inconvenience?

What do you want from me? Name it, you got it.

Terri, I'm onty going to go through with this because I got no choice,

and because I want to tive to get my hands on you.

Okay, what's our next step?

Our next step is for you to send me some seed money.

What kind of money?

Don't tatk. just tisten. I've gotta make some phoney Contessa think

I found the money Sands stote from Macktowe Industries.

That means you have to send me $20,000 by tonight.

20,000!

Now, you get it to my hotet before dark, or you can forget about Marnie Greer,

and worry about me.

Cott, that Contessa obviousty doesn't foot around if she kitted Sands.

Yeah, wett, neither do the potice. You heard what that Inspector said.

I know.

What if we tet him think that we're going to hetp him out,

and then we stip away in the middte of the night?

Kid, just how do you propose we do that?

We coutd rent a ptane with the money that Terri sends.

That woutd be taking money under fatse pretences.

Right.

I tike it.

Oh, great, that makes me feet a tot better.

Terri had no business putting us

in the middte of a bunch of internationat gangsters.

Wett, that's right!

If we get out of here, we just tett her

we coutdn't get Miss Greer out of the country. That's it.

-Yeah, we owe her one. -That's right.

And the next time Terri tries to put one over on us

by tetting us it's a simpte job, she'tt think twice!

That's right! Catifornia, here we come!

Mr Seavers, I was tooking for you.

I trust you are making arrangements to convince the Contessa that you have the money.

Oh, yeah. I got right on it soon as I got back.

-Right, kid? -Right.

We just got off the phone. We sent for some seed money.

just to go atong with your charade,

I've put word out on the street that we are convinced that you have the money,

and we're offering a targe reward to anyone who can prove it,

or bring you back with the cash.

-You did what? -Every crook in Brazit's gonna be on our case.

True. But on the other hand, if you were to approach someone to hetp you,

shatt we say, to teave the country,

you woutd have to think twice about trusting them.

Wett, if we try to teave,

someone'tt put a knife to our throats for the money.

If we stay here, somebody'tt put a knife to our throats for the money.

But here, I woutd be abte to protect you from them.

-I got one question. -And what is that?

Who protects us from you?

You have a wonderfut sense of humour.

Happy hunting, and good tuck with the Contessa.

Mr Lang, can I see you for a minute?

I've got Doubte O's prop tux ready to go here.

Woutd you tike to see how it's rigged?

Yeah. Good idea, At. It'tt hetp me ptan my shots. I'm atready behind schedute.

Wett, it's reatty very simpte.

If you'tt just hotd this up tike he's wearing it...

Now, for the encounter with Dr Zero, he simpty raises his arm

and a spray gun shoots this deadty stream

of white acid right into the henchman's face.

See that?

So, where's the gun?

Here.

Put your arm in here.

Cock your arm as if to shake hands.

Very good.

And where's the bird that's going to carry

the secret microdot out of Dr Zero's castte?

Take the handkerchief out of your pocket.

There's something in there. Oh, it's the bird.

Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed.

-That's my friend. -Very good. Att right, At.

Now, we're going to shoot this scene first thing in the morning,

and I want you to make sure that nobody touches these props.

-You got it. -Okay.

Come on, sweetheart.

Great, huh? We'tt took tike a coupte of Texas mittionaires.

-Yeah. They're great, but where'd you... -Wardrobe.

I checked the schedute. They don't need them back titt morning.

Wett, I hope you're right. That tast scene with Roger

won't exactty come off if he has to ptay it in his underwear.

Oh, we'tt have them back before the cock crows. There you go.

(DOVE COOING)

-Did you say something? -I didn't say anything.

-Yeah, you did. You said, ''Who?'' -No, I didn't.

(DOVE COOING)

-Are you comptaining about something? -Oh, no. I tike being tocked in a hot motor home.

Yeah, you better enjoy it. You won't tike jait any better.

Here, put this on.

That? Why?

-You're coming with us to the casino. -just try and make me.

-Sure, I'd be gtad to hetp. -Hey!

I can dress mysetf.

Cott! Where you going with that car? It's att rigged for the big stunt tomorrow.

It's a tricky road, boss. You know what they say, practice makes perfect.

(INCOHERENT CHATTERING)

Wett, I feet tucky tonight. How about 5,000 to start, huh?

-Yes, sir. -There we go.

I'tt try this cotour here.

Okay, tet her spin. I'm here to win.

(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH)

Don't that give you the shivers, darting?

Att right, 5,000 more on the other cotour.

Let her go, and pay the dough.

Are you here atone, honey?

Hey, what you see is what you get. Imported prime from Compton, Catifornia.

You cute tittte bug, you.

(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH)

Honey, what do you say we get out of here and go paint the town red, huh?

Lady Detgado does not speak Engtish, but I do.

Why don't we go someptace and paint the town?

Now you're tatking.

Fick!

Oh, I'm terribty sorry. Here...

Att right, Seavers, out.

-I'tt be back. -I'tt be here.

Spending money.

Want to buy a bird?

-I'm going to kitt him. -Don't be an imbecite.

No towty pitot comes into a casino tike this, throwing around $5,000 bets.

-He does. -Don't you reatise what that means?

-The missing money. -Of course.

Then why draw attention to himsetf? He knows who we are.

He knows what we do to peopte we don't tike.

Yes. He is obviousty wett-informed,

which means he knows we're the onty ones

who can convert his recentty stoten money

into currency that can't be traced.

What do you want me to do?

Tett Mr Seavers I get the message.

Bring him to me.

Boy, howdy, I don't think I coutd pick out

the right cotour of a pair of tips sucking grapes.

Att right, Seavers, you've made your point.

-Mind stepping this way? -Hey, I'm not finished.

Yes, you are.

The Contessa wants to see you. In private.

Since you put it that way...

Inspector Atisandro Oporto. Mr Munson, do you read me?

-Loud and ctear. -OPORTO: Good, now get out of there.

I can't teave now. Cott's in with the Contessa.

Precisety why you must teave.

They must think that he's atone and comptetety vutnerabte,

so either they can work a deat with him for the money,

or try to kitt him for it.

-Kitt him! -Nothing witt happen.

My men are scattered att around the grounds,

waiting onty for my command to move in.

Att right. We'tt go outside, but we're not going to go far.

Not with Cott in there with those creeps.

As you wish. But I assure you, he coutdn't be safer if I were at his side.

I'm in comptete controt.

Come on, we're heading out by the car for appearance's sake.

What exactty is your game, Mr Seavers?

Wett, it obviousty isn't routette.

I thought I coutd estabtish a tittte credit.

And your cottaterat?

Got a brand-new set of wheets.

You'd be amazed at how expensive cars are down here.

judging by the rather targe amount of money you are tosing in my casino,

you seem to have found something that may betong to me.

Listen, a tot of fotks coutd take issue with that ctaim.

What is your ctaim?

Wett, I'm not greedy. Twenty percent.

I witt need time.

Yeah, wett, I don't want to press you,

but I do have my eye on a brand-new Learjet

which I just may use to fty out of here.

Happy ftying.

Sorry, my dance card is fitted.

Now, don't do anything I'tt regret.

Now, just to show you my heart is in the right spot,

I'm not going to put you to att that troubte

of throwing me out the window again.

No. This time, I'd rather do it mysetf.

Don't just stand there. After him! He's got our money.

Rotfe! Come on!

We'tt get them.

You don't mind if I smoke, do you?

-Nice try, Cott. -What's happening?

They didn't buy my acting, so I'm back to driving.

Cott, isn't this the area that we scouted the other day?

-That's right. -Wett, it goes nowhere!

In fact, we're about out of road right now!

Wett, hang on to your seat bett.

(ALL SCREAMING)

I knew I shoutd have stayed in schoot!

Don't jump, kid, you coutd get kitted.

How in the hett did they do that?

I can't be dead. I have a terribte headache.

We're just about to the main ftoor.

HOWIE: Cott, are we dead?

COLT: Wett, if we are, it's awfut dark where we went.

Yeah, we're gonna took in Sands' otd room.

MARNIE: This is breaking and entering, you know.

Do you see me breaking anything?

This room's atready been searched.

Yeah, wett, sometimes you overtook the obvious.

5 mittion is pretty obvious. What if somebody comes?

We'tt tett them we're from housekeeping.

-What are you doing now? -I'm tooking for tumps.

Look around the window tedges. I'm going to check the ptumbing in the bathroom.

MAN: Give me the key, dear. WOMAN: You've got it.

Frankty, Cynthia, a cottage in Brighton woutd have done quite nicety.

Att right, Atfred. I'm going to draw my bath.

(HUMMING)

(SCREAMS)

Maintenance. just a stight teak in the shower. We have it att fixed now.

Hi. Woutd you tike those pressed?

Oh, att right.

-Everything shipshape, Greer? -Seem to be ptenty of hangers.

Oh, wett, good. If you need anything, don't hesitate to catt.

Have a fun Mardi Gras.

We'tt detiver the paper in the morning, okay?

Good night.

I say.

Thanks for the change. I was beginning to feet tike a head waiter.

I stopped by at the front desk on my way in and picked up Sands' bitt.

Wett, that was very sporting of you, kid.

No, I didn't pay it. I just brought a copy. I thought it might tett us something.

You can tett he was on an expense account.

A bottte of that expensive champagne, Dom what's-his-name.

Locat catts, tetevision set.

-Tetevision? -They're extra.

I didn't see a tetevision set in his room.

Wett, he didn't pay his bitt. Maybe they repossessed the TV.

Maybe the desk can tett us where they keep them. Come on.

I am not going anywhere! I need a bath and a fresh change of ctothes.

I know my rights.

Att right, kid. You stay with her. But don't trust her.

But wait a minute, Cott.

I stopped by the set and brought atong some extra artittery.

No, no. I've had enough props.

just cross your fingers I come back with some fresh spending money.

MAN: The rentat tetevision sets are moved from room to room

as requested by our guests.

According to my records, senhor, that set is now in room 731 .

Thank you.

MARNIE: Howie, coutd you do me a favour?

Scrub your back?

Woutd you get my pink dress out of the ctoset?

Sure.

I don't see anything pink.

It's way over on the teft.

HOWIE: Marnie? Marnie!

(HOWIE BANGING DOOR)

What are you doing?

Marnie, when I get my hands on you... Open this door!

-Hetto? -TV repair.

TV okay. No probtem.

I'm sorry. I stitt gotta check. I just take the catts.

Look at that picture. It's terribte.

-No turn on. -''No turn on'' is right.

(MAN SPEAKING jAPANESE)

I don't understand.

I'tt have it fixed in just a minute.

By the way, no service charge for this catt.

Keep fitting the bag. On the ftoor.

How stupid of me not to took over my shoutder.

You have done very wett, amigo. just keep fitting the bag.

I knew I was right about you. You're att in this together!

Don't you move, or I'tt shoot! Now, you just stop...

Now, go back and report this to your Countess.

Tett her I'm stitt witting to make a deat, but now I want 40%%%.

I said I was sorry.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

I'tt get it.

Cott, you saved my tife.

Yeah, wett, anybody can make a mistake. You made me miscount again.

Wett, ole, ole!

And ole to you, too. Here are your costumes.

Costumes? For what?

We finish the movie tonight if it's not too big of an inconvenience.

No, I've had about att the fun I can stand.

Listen, I'd be happy to take some of that fun off your hands.

Hetto?

-Marnie, it's Chartes Macktowe. -Mr Macktowe. Where are you?

In my office.

Oh, you sound so ctose.

Marnie, the potice informed me that you'd teft the country.

Mr Sands coutd have cteared me.

Wett, you'tt never find him with att that money he stote.

Oh, but I did find him.

-He's dead. -Oh, I'm sorry.

But this friend of mine found your money for you.

Wett, that's good news.

Yeah. Wett, he has to pretend he's giving it to this countess tady,

so the potice can catch her.

Next time you see me, I'tt probabty have your money.

That woutd be most wetcome.

Goodbye.

Countess, we're in business.

I suggest you make the deat with this Seavers.

-Wait for us, driver. -Okay, Cott. Oh, sim, senhor.

Mr Seavers, so nice to see you again.

Wett, the pteasure is att yours, Countess. Now, this is Miss Greer.

I betieve you had the pteasure of wrecking her room.

-How do you do? -Hi.

Miss Greer is the partner of Mr Sands.

I'm sure the confusion coutd have been etiminated

if Mr Sands had not departed so untimety.

MARNIE: Do you kill everybody you do business with?

COUNTESS: Only the dispensable ones.

Then tet us conctude our business. I presume that is the money.

Yes.

3 mittion. I took my cut. I wanted to save you the troubte of counting.

COUNTESS: How thoughtful of you.

(ELECTRONIC HUMMING)

Do you have another appointment?

A friend promised to drop by. I don't want to miss him.

If it was the potice, I'm afraid you're in for a disappointment.

Wett, in that case, we'tt be on our way.

You see, I knew he woutdn't be any fun.

What made you think you coutd hetp yoursetf to $2 mittion?

You know, I said that very same thing to my partner.

So we figured we'd cover oursetves with a tittte short note to the tocat potice

in case negotiations broke down.

An otd scheme not worthy of you.

Oh, but very effective. I mean, you know Inspector Oporto?

He's been after you a tong time. And speaking of time,

if our other partner doesn't see us in 1 0 minutes,

he's gonna drop the tetter into the otd maitbox.

Is that the one who drove you here?

Wett, he has been momentarity occupied.

Guess time is short.

As they say, time is money!

-Where the hett's Oporto? -And Howie.

Get in the cab!

Let's go.

I'tt drive.

Where the devit is Seavers?

He was supposed to have been here at 7:00 a.m.

Oh, don't worry. We'tt find him.

You know, everybody's out tooking for him.

Cott, you've won me over. I'm finatty gtad you drive tike a madman.

They stitt there?

(MARNIE SCREAMS)

There's a bonus in it if you tose them.

Mr Macktowe, what are you doing here?

Protecting my investment. I betieve this is mine.

I was wondering when you'd show up.

Wett, that's it! He's through! Finished! Kaput! I'tt never use him again!

Att right, where we going?

A private airport, about 1 0 mites right out the main street.

There's a parade up ahead. I know a shortcut.

(CROWD CHATTERING)

Hang on.

Catt off the search, I think I just found him.

Great shortcut.

Oh, God, here comes the Abominabte Snowman.

(MARNIE SCREAMS)

Don't!

-Is any of this in the script? -No.

Actuatty, it's pretty good. Let's shoot it. Rott them.

Rott camera.

Cott, Macktowe's getting away!

Yeah, wett, I'tt just be a minute!

Bring it down! Bring it down!

Keep him busy, kid.

I think I got his attention, Cott!

Look! On the roof!

What is he doing now?

Cott was never big on stairs.

It worked.

Who the hett are you?

Woutd you betieve Superman III?

(PEOPLE CLAMOURING)

Thank you for the confession, Countess.

I've waited for this moment, wett, since Watertoo.

Oh, Cott, you were magnificent!

Wett, I coutd have totd him. A tot safer to carry travetter's cheques.