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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:21,410 Look at that. Doggone. I'm so sick of this, I don't know what to do. 1 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,421 - Look. Another one, another one. - [TVChannel Changing] 2 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,083 300 cable channels, and I gotta block off 280. 3 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,092 You know why? Sex. 4 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,925 It's every doggone where. It's on TV, D.V.D., videotape... 5 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,932 even on the Internet. 6 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,502 Let me tell you all: The other day, baby girl was on the computer... 7 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,594 Iooking for some pictures of some pussycats. 8 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:42,004 It took me six hours to explain to her what she saw. 9 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,008 Now, America, I'm gonna tell you something. 10 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,010 We gotta get this doggone sex off the television... 11 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,012 and put it back on the street where it belongs. 12 00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:51,015 - This is ridiculous. Humph. Another one. - [Channel Changing] 13 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:55,884 - That's a commercial. This... - [TVTurns Off] 14 00:00:55,989 --> 00:01:00,153 ?? [Singing] 15 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,286 - ?? [Whistling] - [Door Closes] 16 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,627 Hey, yo, man. Uh, where's the pool? 17 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,395 "Yo, man?" Excuse me? 18 00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,902 The pool. 19 00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:16,240 - The pool? - Man, forget it. I'll find it. 20 00:01:16,342 --> 00:01:19,743 ?? [Hip-hop] 21 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,091 Baby. 22 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,931 What's all these kids here? 23 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,937 Vanessa's having a pool party. 24 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,303 Who told Vanessa she could have a pool party at my doggone house? 25 00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:51,434 I told Vanessa she could have a pool party at our house. 26 00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:54,604 - Ahhh. - Now, relax, Bernie. The kids are just having fun. 27 00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,272 You know what? That's all right. 28 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,441 But if I see that knotty-headed boy walking around here... 29 00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,213 the one that was in the house actin' like it was his... 30 00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:03,653 Sweetie, just go back inside. [Blows Kiss] 31 00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:07,021 - Go on. - This ain't right. 32 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,187 See, now that... That right there? That's one of those Similac babies. 33 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,231 Man. They ain't making 'em like that when we were young. 34 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,733 Mm-mmm. Man, if I was 15 now... 35 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:18,668 - You'd still be peeking and not playing, so shut up. - [Laughing] 36 00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,966 What you all doing? 37 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,133 Yo. Yo, yo, Bernie, man, look. 38 00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,575 Man, these girls dressing like they grown, man. 39 00:02:25,678 --> 00:02:27,646 Mm. Look at the one in the blue right there. 40 00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:29,647 - Where? - Right there. 41 00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:32,240 - That's Wanda. - [Giggles] 42 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:35,014 - Sorry, man. - It's my bad, man. 43 00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:38,090 I don't envy you, man. My daughter's a year older than Vanessa... 44 00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,091 and I'm already chasing away the boys. 45 00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:44,357 Yeah, man, and boys at that age only have one thing on their minds, dog. 46 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,432 - Uh-huh. - Ahhh. 47 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:50,902 Oh, cut it out, man. Y'�ll trying to put the cables on me, man. 48 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,904 Make me paranoid. 49 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,940 Besides, man, you talking about kids. 50 00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:58,442 You know, I ain't worried about it. 51 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:01,036 Wanda's out... out there. She's chaperoning. 52 00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,546 - Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm. 53 00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,617 [Beeping] 54 00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,011 - What the hell is that? - Hey, man. 55 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,249 We're just telling you how little boys are. No need to get upset. 56 00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:14,588 No. No! No! 57 00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,691 - Get your hands off! - What are you doing? 58 00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:21,198 Man, why your pops gotta be like that? 59 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,962 - He's not my pops. - I'm not her pops. 60 00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:25,765 Why don't you get in the pool and cool off? 61 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,966 - I can't swim. - I don't want you to swim. 62 00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,805 Why don't you get in the deep end? 63 00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:36,044 Bernie, leave these kids alone. 64 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,242 Look here. I'm telling y'�ll both. 65 00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:41,149 I'm not gonna let Vanessa bring another mouth in this house for us to feed. 66 00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:43,154 What? What are you talking about? 67 00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:45,952 I'm talking about your sister's too doggone young to become an auntie... 68 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,959 that's what I'm talking about! 69 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:52,794 Aunt Wanda, can you please tell your husband to leave me alone? 70 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,094 He's ruining my party! 71 00:03:56,869 --> 00:04:00,305 She's a good girl. Stop worrying. 72 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,204 He was holding her hand, baby. 73 00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:06,437 Exactly, Bernie. Holding hands. 74 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,411 - How bad is that? - That's a start. 75 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,812 That young boy got hormones jumping all outta his body... 76 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,546 and you ain't making it no better with that outfit you got on. 77 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,554 You like my outfit, Bernie Mac? 78 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:19,420 Wanda, stop. You're making it real hard for me to do my duty... 79 00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,425 - [Blows] - As a parent. 80 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:26,060 You let Aunt Wanda handle the duties as a parent... 81 00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:30,295 and maybe tonight we'll talk about your husbandly duties. 82 00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,769 Now, shoo. Go on. 83 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:42,778 - What you doing? - Oh, hey. Um, noth... It was time out. 84 00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:44,782 You a liar. 85 00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,977 I'm sick of this. 86 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,957 How the hell I get back here? 87 00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:00,794 Hey! What's this? Huh? 88 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,868 I was giving Kevin my number. 89 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,869 No, you was giving Kevin my number! 90 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,030 How come you're not in the deep end? 91 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,975 - Better hurry up. - [Vibrating] 92 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,409 Your pager blowing up. 93 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,572 [Sighs] You are ruining my life! 94 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,048 Aunt Wanda! 95 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,052 Bernie Mac, out! 96 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,214 Talking about I'm ruining your life. Girl, I'm trying to save your life! 97 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,554 Well, fine. I tell you what. 98 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,559 I ain't changing no diapers. 99 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,156 Oughta kick in your chest. 100 00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:38,065 Hey. Where you all going? 101 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,332 Yo, man, we can catch the game somewhere else, all right? 102 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,637 No, no, man. I'm cool, man. Come on. Sit down. Sit down. 103 00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:48,242 Hey. What? 104 00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:52,846 What the... That little knot-head. Hey! 105 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,079 Bernie's letting those kids drive him crazy, man. 106 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,157 Vanessa! 107 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,888 [Chuckling] Yeah, what y'�ll running for? 108 00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:06,726 'Cause you won't leave us alone. 109 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,358 Alone? Why you wanna be alone? 110 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,596 Y'�ll must be up to something. 111 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,194 We were just getting some soda. 112 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,866 Soda. Yeah, I know what that means. 113 00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:18,307 You better not be getting no soda in this house, boy. 114 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:20,879 - What? - Don't "what" me, boy. 115 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:24,609 You know exactly what I mean. I'm not gonna let you ruin this girl's life. 116 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:29,381 Matter of fact, I want you out of my house. Your party is over! 117 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,649 - I can't stand you! - Yeah. Okay. 118 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,886 You get out of here. 119 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,237 You see how ungrateful she is? 120 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:49,069 She hates me! I'm trying to save her from making a big mistake. 121 00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,575 I ain't trying to be no hard guy, America... 122 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:55,238 but I'll chase baby girl around this house every day if I have to. 123 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,579 If that's what it takes to keep her away from boys, hoo! 124 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,923 I hate him. 125 00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:08,516 I heard that! 126 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,392 - [Sighs] - I heard that. 127 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,626 [Large Bell Tolling] 128 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,932 Hey, baby. 129 00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:27,279 This is a great age, huh? 130 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:32,374 Tell me about it. I got a 13-year-old at home... nothing but trouble. 131 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,385 She had a pool party the other day. 132 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:38,048 All kinds of boys walking through the house, hitting on her like they're grown. 133 00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:40,557 So then I'm the bad guy when I throw their stuff in the pool. 134 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:44,892 Yeah. I think we oughta lock 'em up from the ages of 13 to 18 to keep 'em safe... 135 00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:47,898 and then at the age of 18, unlock 'em, kick 'em out of the house. 136 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,230 That's exactly how I feel. 137 00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,395 Kids need boundaries. That's why I send my boy to Catholic school. 138 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:57,067 - Me too. I'm Bernie, man. - Hi. David. 139 00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:59,144 - David. - Here we go. 140 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,269 - Hey, sport. - Hey. 141 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,438 Dad, can I go over toJordan's house and play? 142 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,016 No. I think Bernie's busy and you got homework. Come on. 143 00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:07,051 No, no, no, no. He can come. 144 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,849 I mean, this is a great time for boys to build a lifelong friendship. 145 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,186 Yeah. You're right. 4:00? 146 00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,986 Fine with me. 147 00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:15,993 [Doorbell Rings] 148 00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:18,222 - Vanessa, get that. - Why? 149 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,232 None of my friends are welcome here, so I know it's not for me. 150 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,438 [Doorbell Rings] 151 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:37,040 - Bernie. - Hey, Dave! 152 00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:39,549 What's going on? Dave. Byron. 153 00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:42,382 Hey, Jordan! Byron's here! 154 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:44,388 - Bernie Mac. - Yes. 155 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,050 I can't believe Dave didn't know who you were. I am your biggest fan. 156 00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:50,560 You are, like, the funniest man on the planet! 157 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,564 Uh, thank you. Than-Thank you. 158 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:56,760 - Thank you. - This is Phil, my very over-the-top partner. 159 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:58,837 Partner? 160 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:04,567 Bernie, I was just telling Phil how much you and I have in common. 161 00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:07,043 - It's uncanny. - It's unnatural. 162 00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:09,046 [Chuckling] 163 00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,480 Well, I hope you have a good time, Byron. 164 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,552 Give Daddy a kiss. 165 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:17,415 - Okay. - Ciao, Bernie. 166 00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:19,582 Ciao. Take it easy. 167 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:25,096 Okay. Here we go. 168 00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:27,791 All right. Today is you guys' day. 169 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,868 Anything you wanna do is fine. 170 00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:33,166 Look. I got a football, got a pair of boxing gloves. 171 00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:35,832 - Hey, look here. I got toy guns. - [Electronic Gunfire] 172 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:39,002 We can play war. You do play war, don't you, Byron? 173 00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,347 Oh, whatever. 174 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:46,612 See this video game here? This game here, man, you can tear a guy's head clear off! 175 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:50,220 We'll have some good regular guy fun today. 176 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,655 [Breathing Heavily] 177 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,122 Make a loop. 178 00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:59,390 The bunny goes up the hole... 179 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,728 around the tree... 180 00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,734 and back into the hole. 181 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,428 - Now, pull, but not too tight. - Like this? 182 00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,944 What the hell? Yarn? 183 00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:17,209 - What are you guys doing? - Byron's showing me how to make a knot. 184 00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:21,377 Why you using yarn? That's for needlepoint and tying bows on girls'- - Man, give me this. 185 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,614 We couldn't find anything else. 186 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,782 You mean you couldn't find wire or fishing line... 187 00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:27,791 an extension cord, something like that to play with? 188 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,360 - Mr. Mac? - Yes. 189 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,952 Isn't that stuff dangerous? 190 00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:33,293 Um, yes. 191 00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:37,096 Listen. It's too nice outside for you all to be inside playing with knots. 192 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,671 Come on. I want you all to get up. I want you to go outside and play. 193 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:43,606 Nah. Run between some cars or something. Be men! 194 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:47,008 Bryana's having fun with her dolls. Why don't you go break that up? 195 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,513 The Undertaker says bring it on! 196 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,607 [Both Grunting] 197 00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:58,117 - [Blows Landing] - [Laughing] 198 00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,124 Boy, those Three Stooges something else. 199 00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:02,091 I'd have killed that Moe. 200 00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,185 - [Grunting] - Oh. 201 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,561 Jordan. Jor, Jor. Byron. 202 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,068 Jordan. Stop, stop. Break it up. 203 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,104 What's going on here? You all playing too close. 204 00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:16,265 We were just playing W.W.F. I was about to give him a pile driver. 205 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,002 Ain't gonna be no pile driver, Jordan. 206 00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:20,635 Did I do something wrong? 207 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:26,246 No, son. You didn't do nothin' wrong. 208 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,287 Listen. I just want you all to have some fun. 209 00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:32,414 Good clean fun. Okay? 210 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,686 Now, here. Go to it. 211 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:39,595 - I'm making too much of this. Maybe I'm too old school. - ?? [Disco Playing] 212 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:44,261 Maybe they're just children. Maybe they're just boys out there having fun. 213 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,600 Ain't nothing wrong with that boy. 214 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,164 America, the Mac man apologizes. 215 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,976 - Fourteen! Twenty-two! - Oh, my Lord! Jordan! 216 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,948 - That's it. Playdate over. - But why? 217 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,886 - Cause I said so! - But we were having fun! 218 00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:06,389 Yeah. That was your first mistake. 219 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:09,222 Byron, let's go get your stuff. 220 00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,296 - Awww. - "Awww." Let's go. 221 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,366 America, I know exactly what you thinking. 222 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,560 "Those are two young boys out there playing... 223 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,569 and what could be so wrong?" 224 00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,969 See, I'm not trying to mess with the boys' fun. 225 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,564 I just don't want them to grow up too soft. 226 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,167 See, Jordan, he can be anything he wants to be. 227 00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:29,406 If he wants to grow up to be a policeman, he could be that. 228 00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:33,178 Or how about a construction worker? Nothing wrong with that. 229 00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:35,344 He even might wanna join the navy. 230 00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,820 Hey. I have no problem with that. 231 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:42,758 It does not matter if he wanna be a biker, a cowboy or an Indian chief. 232 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,422 I personally don't mind. 233 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,625 The boy could be whatever he wants to be, right? 234 00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:52,101 [In Unison] Whatever he wants to be! 235 00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:54,798 See? How you doin', cop? 236 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,776 Uh, chief, your wampum is comin' out your pouch. 237 00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,783 L-Let's move on. 238 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,520 - Yeah. - Hey, Bernie. 239 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,522 - Hey, hey. - Hey, buddy. 240 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,524 Hey, sport. Everything okay? 241 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:17,323 Yeah. Boys are great. You know, Jordan has asthma... 242 00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:19,329 and I can see all the activity kinda wearing him down. 243 00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:22,628 - Ah, okay. - Ooh. Hey, hon. 244 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:25,397 - What's going on? - Oh, uh, Brenda, this is Bernie. 245 00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:28,064 - Bernie, this is my wife. - Your wife? 246 00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:33,535 I thought you and Phil was partners. 247 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:37,082 We are. We're writing partners. 248 00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:39,515 But sometimes I think they're the married couple. 249 00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:43,418 L... You know what? I gotta get back. Jordan, he has a... He's wheezing. 250 00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,990 So... [Sighs] 251 00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:49,390 See? That's why I didn't judge. 252 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,486 At most, I was overly cautious. 253 00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,497 Man, there was children involved. 254 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:58,400 Okay. I hurtJordan's feelings. I'm sorry. He'll get over it. 255 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,302 And if I hurt you all out there, forgive me. 256 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:07,041 - I hate him! - I heard that! 257 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,376 - [Wheezing] - Take your medicine! 258 00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:11,949 [Wheezing Continues] 259 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,327 So how we gonna get him? 260 00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:28,230 I don't know, but we have to choose our time just right. 261 00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,303 [TV.' Soft Sound Track] 262 00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:36,405 Bryana's asleep. Do you have any plans for tonight? 263 00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:39,906 No. You know I ain't got no plans for tonight. 264 00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:43,038 - [Sniffs] - Good, 'cause I'm expecting a package. 265 00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:47,751 Package? 266 00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:53,249 - Good night, kids. - Good night. 267 00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:57,928 See? 268 00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:00,294 Respect. That's what I'm talking about. 269 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,299 [TVTurns Off] 270 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:12,973 [No Audible Dialogue] 271 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,308 So, you want me to steal the package? 272 00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,439 No, no, no. There is no package. 273 00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:20,882 That was just a cover-up so they could handle their business. 274 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,352 It's more like a code word. 275 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:26,322 Ohhh. Nasty. 276 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,189 This'll be the perfect time for us to get him. 277 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:31,923 Yeah. Let's get him. 278 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,898 Do you think there's cookies in the packages? 279 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,594 I don't know, but if you help us out... 280 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,570 I promise I'll get you a whole bunch of cookies. 281 00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,766 - Yea! - Shh! 282 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,968 [Softly] Yea. 283 00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:48,972 ?? [Soul] 284 00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:51,915 - You know, Mrs. Mac... - Mm? 285 00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,917 I think you're trying to seduce me. 286 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,579 Guess what? I kinda like it. 287 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,589 [Chuckles] Get over here. 288 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,591 - Show you right. - [Knocking] 289 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,355 - [Bryana] Uncle Bernie! - What? 290 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,363 I'm scared! 291 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:10,367 - Scared of what? - Uh, I forgot. 292 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,699 Come back when you remember! 293 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,773 Okay. 294 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,875 [Knocking] 295 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,877 [Bryana] Uncle Bernie? 296 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,879 - [Sighs] Baby, hold on. - Mm. 297 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,108 H-Hold on. 298 00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:26,514 - [Yells] What? - [Groans] 299 00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:29,553 You see? There's no monsters down here. 300 00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:36,418 [Groans] Now, look. I looked everywhere. 301 00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:39,588 I can't find no monsters. Now, anybody else want anything? 302 00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,230 Okay, good, because as of right now... 303 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,235 Uncle Bernie is officially off the clock. 304 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:49,774 Don't call me for nothing. Call me again, see what'll happen to you. 305 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,747 - Is everything okay? - Baby, it's crazy, man... 306 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,844 how those kids got great timing, man. 307 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:05,355 Who cares? Now it's our time. 308 00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:07,516 - Show you right. You know what? - What? 309 00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,685 - I've been yearning for you, baby. - Mmm. 310 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,695 - Now. - [Shatters] 311 00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:14,925 What the hell is that? Hold on. See what I'm talking about? See? 312 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,934 [Whimpers] 313 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,528 Now, look. I done told you all for the last time... 314 00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:23,608 not to disturb me, and that means not even a knock on the door. 315 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,269 I don't want you all to get out of bed for nothing. 316 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:29,370 If you put one foot on the floor, I'm gonna be angry. 317 00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:31,449 - Do you understand me? - What if we... 318 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,074 "What if' nothing! You can't do nothin'! 319 00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:36,586 I don't care if the earth quake. You just ride it! 320 00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:39,384 Should have left you all at Cabrini-Green. 321 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:41,550 Just animals! 322 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,466 Y'�ll act like you ain't got no home training. 323 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,706 ?? [Soul] 324 00:17:58,610 --> 00:17:59,804 Baby. 325 00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:03,144 - [Thump] - What's that? 326 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:06,012 - That's Bernie Mac. - No. I'm serious. I heard something outside. 327 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,086 - Baby, it could be a stray cat. - Meow! 328 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,677 - See? - Oh. 329 00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:12,313 - See? - Mmm. 330 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:14,815 Mmm. 331 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,090 - Bernie. Bernie, look. - What? What? What? What? 332 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,359 I told you there's someone in the yard. 333 00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,367 [Yells] Who out there? 334 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,801 - Hold on a second. Hold on now. - I'm just saying, "Hey." 335 00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:29,499 Don't let me come out there! You picked the wrong house! 336 00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:32,642 Wrong house! 337 00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:37,511 I swear you picked the wrong house! You picked the wrong house! Yes, sir! 338 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,607 Now, I'm gonna ask you one more time! 339 00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:42,687 - Who out there? - [Bryana] It's a monster! 340 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,348 See? See? I knew it was you kids. 341 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,687 I told you not to get out of bed, didn't I? 342 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,956 You're really in trouble now! 343 00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,395 It's on now. I don't know who you think you all playin' with. 344 00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:56,059 Like I ain't never been a kid. I was the worst kid on the block. 345 00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,227 When l... Yeah! I saw ya! I seen ya! 346 00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,066 Aha ha... Ow! 347 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:03,005 - [Thump] - Boy, I'm gonna kill you! 348 00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:06,339 You better hope my leg is broke. I swear before the Lord and whatever on top of me... 349 00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,879 Wanda! Wanda. 350 00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:12,774 Baby. 351 00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:18,220 Okay. I understand that you are angry with your Uncle Bernie. 352 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,224 But did you even consider your Aunt Wanda's feelings? 353 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:25,194 Sorry, Aunt Wanda. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. 354 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:28,061 - Yeah. You were collateral damage. - No. 355 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,601 No, you all were in the wrong place at the wrong time. 356 00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,602 I told y'�ll not to get out of bed... 357 00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,865 and y'�ll chose to disrespect our privacy. 358 00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:37,066 - You didn't respect ours. - Yeah. 359 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,371 You little kids ain't got no doggone privacy. 360 00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,878 Bernie, stop it. 361 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,073 Vanessa. 362 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,743 He embarrassed me in front of all my friends. 363 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,945 Jordan? 364 00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:52,023 I felt like Byron's mad at me 'cause he had to go home early. 365 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,384 - Bernie, say you're sorry. - I'm not saying it. 366 00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:58,122 Bernie, say you're sorry. 367 00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:00,130 I'm sorry. 368 00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:03,099 Kids, say, "T hat's okay, Uncle Bernie." 369 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,069 [In Unison] That's okay, Uncle Bernie. 370 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:09,402 - Okay. - Great. We're all one big happy family. 371 00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:12,204 You, go to bed. You three stay. 372 00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:17,815 You're gonna tell me to say I'm sorry. I ain't did nothing. 373 00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:24,212 Now, your Uncle Bernie has shown you that your feelings are important. 374 00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:27,451 And he and I need our time alone. You understand? 375 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,925 - Yes, ma'�m. - Yes, ma'�m. 376 00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:35,295 Good. Because the next person that comes into your room will be me. 377 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,425 And we don't want that, do we? 378 00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:39,800 - Nope. - No, ma'�m. 379 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:43,102 Good. Good night. 380 00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,301 And I'll take these. 381 00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:49,681 ?? [Soul] 382 00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:02,990 - [Sniffs] - [Wanda] Baby, let's go. 383 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,893 Baby? Bernie? 384 00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:09,833 Ohhh. 385 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,978 We'll pick up on this tomorrow night. 386 00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:25,982 Oh, wait. I have a meeting. 387 00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,245 Okay. Some other time. 388 00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:34,484 [Cackles] 389 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:40,931 Lemme be straight. 390 00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:43,092 This ain't aboutJordan being gay. 391 00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:45,931 I don't care if he play with a little boy or a little girl. 392 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,939 I don't want him to be exposed to sex at his age. 393 00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,502 If you like, I'll put him in a bubble. 394 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:56,772 You gonna tell... 395 00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:59,612 You gonna tell me how to raise my nephew? 396 00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:02,551 If I don't want him to play with whoever I don't want him to play with... 397 00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,554 he ain't gonna play with them. 398 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:07,284 Y'�ll can cut it off. Humph. 30929

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