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3
00:00:19,266 --> 00:00:20,717
At number
one on the request line
4
00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:24,750
for the 417th month, from
Pepe to his fishing crew
5
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,016
on the Pregnant Pelican.
8
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,367
Yikes, I gotta get outta here.
12
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:01,850
I'm the only one left.
13
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:04,567
I have to keep my bog hair.
14
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,400
Shit.
15
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:12,850
That woman's a monster.
16
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:14,700
I gotta warn the others.
19
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,800
Screw the others.
21
00:01:56,934 --> 00:01:59,250
Move away from the vehicle.
22
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:01,517
Put your hands in the air.
23
00:02:01,567 --> 00:02:02,900
Support the NRA.
24
00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:06,050
Vote Republican.
25
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:08,383
Always use a condom.
26
00:02:08,433 --> 00:02:10,016
Eat pork.
27
00:02:10,066 --> 00:02:12,834
Don't forget to
call your mother.
30
00:02:33,734 --> 00:02:36,884
I love the feel of
silk on bare skin.
31
00:02:36,934 --> 00:02:39,550
- No more
32
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,500
pesky--
33
00:02:41,467 --> 00:02:42,817
- Body hair.
35
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:53,450
On to the next
unsuspecting little town.
36
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:54,400
Let's ride!
37
00:02:56,233 --> 00:02:57,150
("Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels")
38
00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,383
♪ So you better beware
39
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:01,983
♪ 'Cause we're hot wax zombies
40
00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:04,216
♪ We're almost there
41
00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:07,983
♪ We're the hot wax
zombies on wheels ♪
42
00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:11,817
♪ Hot wax zombies on wheels
43
00:03:11,867 --> 00:03:15,550
♪ Hot wax zombies on wheels
44
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:19,266
♪ Hot wax zombies on wheels
47
00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:29,483
Slow down, butch.
48
00:03:29,533 --> 00:03:31,950
I just love
it here in Daneport.
49
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,150
Nothing ever happens here.
51
00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:51,583
Tipoa.
52
00:03:51,633 --> 00:03:52,700
You're on.
55
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,383
♪ Baby
56
00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:07,850
♪ When you get back
57
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:11,483
♪ Back in your room
58
00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:15,283
♪ After your move, yeah
59
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:18,250
♪ Oh, maybe
60
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,684
♪ You'll be all right
61
00:04:21,734 --> 00:04:24,983
♪ When it's dark
62
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:28,433
♪ You have your sunshine
63
00:04:31,367 --> 00:04:32,750
So damn butch.
64
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:33,750
That's what you
get for biking with
65
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:34,983
your best friend's girl.
67
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:44,116
Race ya.
68
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:45,350
You're on.
69
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:46,850
The old Augusta house.
70
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,283
See you in my mirror.
72
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,750
♪ Takin' off my mask
73
00:04:54,800 --> 00:05:00,583
♪ Takin' off my head
74
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,283
♪ It's not my problem
75
00:05:03,333 --> 00:05:06,150
♪ Refuse to see
76
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,350
♪ Oh, it's not my problem
78
00:05:10,233 --> 00:05:11,817
Hé !
79
00:05:11,867 --> 00:05:15,950
Needs a little
fixing up, but it'll do.
80
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,417
Shh, Martin, someone's coming.
82
00:05:21,533 --> 00:05:22,367
- Oh.
83
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,617
"Vickings rule."
84
00:05:24,667 --> 00:05:27,650
- At least I can spell,
unlike certain barbers.
85
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:29,517
Star quarterbacks
don't have to spell.
86
00:05:29,567 --> 00:05:32,116
You're right, they
just have to make passes
87
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,116
at the homecoming queen.
88
00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:36,550
No truer love
than me and Mick.
89
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,684
And what about you, shy guy?
90
00:05:38,734 --> 00:05:40,050
Hey, I'm uh,
91
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,317
pacing myself.
92
00:05:41,367 --> 00:05:42,266
Oh, okay.
93
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,317
Martin,
find out how they feel
94
00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:48,850
about depilatil rays.
95
00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:49,684
Suppositories?
97
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:51,400
Ow.
98
00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:04,550
- [Critter] Oh, baby,
faster, faster, faster.
99
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,684
Get it in.
100
00:06:05,734 --> 00:06:07,500
Oh, oh, ah ah ah, oo.
102
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,350
Morning, captains.
103
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,417
Sven, Sharon.
104
00:06:18,467 --> 00:06:19,283
Nice day.
105
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:20,500
Yeah.
106
00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:23,250
What do you reckon
the weather will be like
107
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,884
tomorrow, Captain Obadiah?
108
00:06:24,934 --> 00:06:26,183
Horny.
109
00:06:26,233 --> 00:06:29,350
There's an evil wind
a-blowing, an evil wind.
110
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,233
West north west.
111
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,550
You old shark bait,
it's north by northwest.
112
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,417
Don't you go telling
me the wind direction.
113
00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:37,383
I know these seas like
the back of my hand.
114
00:06:37,433 --> 00:06:39,350
You ain't seen that
clear-like in 20 years.
116
00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,216
What do you mean
by evil wind, cap'n?
117
00:06:42,266 --> 00:06:44,083
Oh, he's right
about that, by cracky.
118
00:06:44,133 --> 00:06:45,583
E-vile it is.
119
00:06:45,633 --> 00:06:47,050
Evil how?
120
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:50,050
When the sky
burns cold, the raven barks.
121
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:53,417
Aye, the albatross
dances with the whale.
122
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:54,300
Aye.
126
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,517
Oh, are you still
determined to leave?
127
00:07:12,567 --> 00:07:13,817
Nothing ever happens here.
128
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,050
I don't know what
I was thinking,
129
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,583
trying to make it as a
manicurist in this town.
130
00:07:17,633 --> 00:07:19,383
And so that means
you're going to go to--
131
00:07:19,433 --> 00:07:20,750
Well, I need to go
somewhere where they
132
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,517
can appreciate a good
manicure, a great foot massage,
133
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:26,216
and a, and an outstanding
lacquer selection.
134
00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:27,950
Orlando, Florida.
135
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,633
Well, I'm gonna
miss you, Ruby.
137
00:07:32,233 --> 00:07:33,400
What?
138
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,216
She might as well
stay here for that.
139
00:07:39,266 --> 00:07:40,884
You heard the latest?
140
00:07:40,934 --> 00:07:43,684
The old Augusta house, sold.
141
00:07:43,734 --> 00:07:46,950
Queers probably, you know, gay.
142
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,016
Opening a beauty salon.
143
00:07:49,066 --> 00:07:53,150
Mm, good, maybe I can
get a decent haircut, Mick.
144
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,517
Ooh, take that back
you sultry bitch,
145
00:07:56,567 --> 00:07:58,517
or I'll blow you silly.
146
00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:00,116
Oh, I better get out.
148
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:01,983
When are you going to get out
149
00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:03,650
of ladies' underwear, Sharon?
150
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,300
Oh, you know me Frank,
I don't do cheap jokes.
152
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:14,983
And now for another
153
00:08:15,033 --> 00:08:17,983
swinging hit for you
single ladies over 40
154
00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:19,717
waiting for the tuna fleet.
156
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:22,900
Mm,
157
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:24,934
oh baby.
158
00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:30,016
Mm, I just keep
getting it for you.
159
00:08:30,066 --> 00:08:32,000
You got me all wrapped
around the axle.
161
00:08:39,467 --> 00:08:42,600
- Neither rain nor
sleet nor dark of night.
162
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:44,784
Sorry.
163
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,817
It's all right, that's
what the shop's about.
164
00:08:46,867 --> 00:08:48,383
Sort of.
165
00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:50,483
Hadn't you better
finish your rounds, Ken?
166
00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:52,133
Yeah, I guess so.
167
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,300
Sorry, baby.
168
00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:56,767
Wish I could stay.
169
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:03,317
Bye.
170
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:05,734
Oh, the mail, forgot
the mail almost.
171
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:07,600
I'll see you, baby.
173
00:09:09,734 --> 00:09:11,717
He's new.
174
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:13,583
Wow, you're a sucker for
men in uniform, Carrie.
175
00:09:13,633 --> 00:09:16,917
Oh, I'm a sucker
for a man, period.
176
00:09:16,967 --> 00:09:19,583
I've noticed you're not
at a loss for suitors.
177
00:09:19,633 --> 00:09:20,450
Mick?
178
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:21,717
Mick's okay.
179
00:09:21,767 --> 00:09:23,417
Sven's a real guy.
180
00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:24,617
And he's interested.
181
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:28,016
Sven's my pal, nothing more.
183
00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:30,650
Hi, Ted.
184
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,250
Hi, Sharon.
185
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:33,917
Pilar's got a birthday
coming up real soon.
186
00:09:33,967 --> 00:09:35,183
I thought I'd get
her something pretty.
187
00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:36,350
Great, well, I've
got just the thing.
188
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,150
This is soft, it's beautiful.
189
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,450
It's pretty, it's
warm, it's soft.
190
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,417
Just the thing for winter.
191
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:46,183
- I was think something
more, you know, something--
192
00:09:46,233 --> 00:09:47,750
Sexier?
193
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,884
- Oh, gee Ted, I didn't
think you went in for
194
00:09:49,934 --> 00:09:51,550
that sort of thing, but uh--
195
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,483
- You old devil, you.
196
00:09:52,533 --> 00:09:54,884
Not that old, Carrie.
197
00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:55,717
I get the picture.
198
00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:57,283
How about this?
199
00:09:57,333 --> 00:09:58,517
More of what you had in mind?
200
00:09:58,567 --> 00:09:59,600
It's what I wear.
201
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,350
Yeah, I like that, yeah.
202
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,583
And the size?
203
00:10:04,633 --> 00:10:06,917
Mrs. Lewis is a
size 18, Carrie.
205
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:09,216
I see.
206
00:10:09,266 --> 00:10:10,150
In a box, please.
208
00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:15,950
Get a box, please.
209
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,600
That'll be $35, Ted.
213
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:35,667
Oh, I love the feel
of silk on bare skin.
214
00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:37,367
Don't you?
215
00:10:38,633 --> 00:10:39,467
Can I help you?
216
00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:42,200
I said don't you?
217
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:48,417
Um, sure, all, all, all,
all, all women do, um.
218
00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:50,383
I didn't hear you come in.
219
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:52,083
♪ Well, you better step up
220
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:54,717
♪ 'Cause I got
something for you ♪
221
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,617
♪ Just take a good look at me
222
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:58,850
♪ 'Cause I'm new and
improved, you see ♪
223
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:01,016
♪ Now seems like
a real good time ♪
224
00:11:01,066 --> 00:11:03,317
♪ Think I'll start
coming in with it ♪
225
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:05,317
♪ Hey
226
00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:07,417
♪ You
227
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,617
♪ Me
228
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,450
This won't hinder
you much longer.
229
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,684
I'll take care of it.
230
00:11:11,734 --> 00:11:14,000
Weren't you leaving, Ted?
231
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,016
Will that be all?
232
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:18,400
I want to see your underwear.
233
00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:22,016
I beg your pardon.
234
00:11:22,066 --> 00:11:25,650
Well, granted, I want to
see your leather g-strings,
235
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:28,417
you split panties,
your cut-out bras.
236
00:11:28,467 --> 00:11:30,734
Whatever you have
with metal studs.
237
00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:33,183
Um.
238
00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:34,750
Well.
239
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,567
I'm afraid this is
risque as we get.
240
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:42,550
Hah.
241
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,350
I'll just take the gown.
242
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,350
Will that be charge or--
243
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:46,583
It'll be cash.
244
00:11:46,633 --> 00:11:48,784
It'll be 395.
245
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,317
Hot, M.
247
00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:54,917
I suggest you invest in some
248
00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:58,784
recreational
underwear, Miss Talbot.
249
00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:00,166
You're going to need it.
250
00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:04,133
I think these people
are ready for a wax.
251
00:12:05,033 --> 00:12:06,083
Who's Max?
252
00:12:06,133 --> 00:12:07,417
Ow!
253
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:08,850
I, I didn't hear them come in.
254
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,200
Did you hear them come in?
255
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,483
Ted.
256
00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:14,100
Ted, I'm asking you a question.
257
00:12:15,834 --> 00:12:20,216
I can't wait to pump her gas.
258
00:12:20,266 --> 00:12:21,533
You're self-serve, Ted.
260
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:26,767
Weird, huh?
261
00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:28,667
Weren't they sort of
262
00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:31,166
unnaturally shiny?
263
00:12:32,066 --> 00:12:33,800
- Oh, I need some fresh air.
265
00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:41,050
Remember,
City Council meeting
266
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,383
in the fish locker
at six o'clock.
268
00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:48,617
And further, Mister Mayor,
269
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,983
I move for a no-growth ordinance
270
00:12:51,033 --> 00:12:53,350
until we discover just
what the desecration
271
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,617
of our water off of
our coast will have.
272
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,250
Mr. Hutchenreuther,
273
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,450
we have the most
modern water treatment,
274
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,283
the most stringent
environmental controls
275
00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,583
on the offshore waters,
as well as the harbor.
276
00:13:03,633 --> 00:13:05,016
Surely you know that--
277
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:08,283
You have no idea what's
going on out there!
278
00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:11,317
The new deviation,
the monsters even now
279
00:13:11,367 --> 00:13:14,083
rallying to take us over.
280
00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:15,917
Oh sir, Daneport.
282
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,617
I move we wait and see.
283
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:19,717
Seconded?
284
00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:20,717
Seconded.
286
00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:24,200
Thank you Bancroft,
you may sit down now.
287
00:13:25,066 --> 00:13:27,116
Any more business?
289
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,667
A business license.
290
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,784
And who might you be?
291
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:37,433
Yvonne Wayne.
292
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,550
I'm renovating the
old Augusta house,
293
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,283
and opening up a waxing salon.
294
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:45,917
Now just a
second, little lady.
295
00:13:45,967 --> 00:13:48,150
You never said
anything about wax.
296
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,383
She never said
anything about wax.
297
00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:52,583
Ted's Self-Serve
is fully equipped
298
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:53,684
with a full line of--
299
00:13:53,734 --> 00:13:55,066
Hair removal, Ted.
300
00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:58,050
Hair removal.
301
00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:00,950
A salon to remove, I see.
302
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,550
Well, Pilar could stand to
lose some hair, I guess.
303
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:05,433
So could you.
304
00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:08,150
I think it's unnatural.
305
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,750
Bad for the complexion.
306
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,216
Bad for the whole human machine.
307
00:14:12,266 --> 00:14:13,450
Nothing like the
wife did up to give
308
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,650
the man incentive to
come ashore, eh Pepe?
310
00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:18,150
Wait a minute.
311
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,667
I have some questions.
312
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,250
I'm a reporter, Miss Wayne.
313
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,517
It's in my instincts.
314
00:14:25,567 --> 00:14:28,016
I know a few things.
315
00:14:28,066 --> 00:14:30,917
How lucky for you.
316
00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:32,650
How do we know these
people are qualified.
317
00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:34,517
Don't you have to have
a beautician's license
318
00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:35,950
from the state
before you can go off
319
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,950
opening up some
hotsy-totsy wax salon?
320
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,684
Just where is that, Miss Wayne?
321
00:14:40,734 --> 00:14:41,617
Hmm?
322
00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,850
Well, certainly, Mr. Miller.
323
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:46,583
I have all the
appropriate paperwork.
324
00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:48,200
Would you care to see it?
325
00:14:53,367 --> 00:14:55,700
License, license, license.
326
00:14:57,734 --> 00:14:58,550
License.
327
00:14:58,600 --> 00:14:59,583
License.
328
00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:00,450
License.
329
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,250
License.
330
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,083
License.
331
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:02,917
Wait a minute.
332
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,583
Majority rules, Karen.
333
00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:05,417
Seconded?
334
00:15:05,467 --> 00:15:06,250
Seconded.
335
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,183
Second, sec, call it.
336
00:15:07,233 --> 00:15:09,617
Seconded, meeting adjourned.
339
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:17,684
Captains.
340
00:15:17,734 --> 00:15:19,116
Yeah?
341
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:22,250
What was it you
were saying about an evil wind?
342
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,650
The evil wind is
one that'll turn you in you
343
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:28,550
any minute and make
your hair stand on end.
344
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,817
It'll
shiver your timbers,
345
00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:31,850
furl the tops'l and
keelhaul the bosun.
346
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,983
An evil
wind will put the mizzen
347
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:36,433
in the fraggin' in as
long as it takes to blink.
348
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:38,750
- Oh.
349
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,250
That makes sense.
350
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:41,133
Thanks.
351
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:45,617
Um, captains, I know
I shouldn't ask this,
352
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,283
but what are you whittling?
353
00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:48,116
Yew.
354
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:48,950
Me.
355
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,150
No, yew.
356
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,050
- I?
357
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:51,934
Aye.
358
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,950
- Oh, yew.
359
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:55,950
Y-E-W, the tree.
360
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,717
- Aye, yew.
361
00:15:57,767 --> 00:16:00,216
- Oh, I was reading an
article about the Pacific yew
362
00:16:00,266 --> 00:16:02,617
just the other day, it has
all sorts of curative powers
363
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:04,350
like asthma,
cancer, you name it.
364
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,950
Aye, and it'll take the
barnacles off your stem.
365
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,517
And the woodworm
off your stern.
366
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:09,550
Like to smoke it.
367
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,483
I like mine with milk.
368
00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:13,650
Give her a try.
369
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:15,400
Never know
when you might need it.
370
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,450
Think we confused her
with all this nautical talk?
371
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,183
- I suppose so.
372
00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:25,050
Reckon that's what it's all
about, being an old salt.
373
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,517
Old tar, properly
it's an old tar.
374
00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:29,383
I know what I am,
Zebediah, you old fool.
377
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,850
I've been
expecting you, Mr. Miller.
378
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:57,684
How did you get this
place fixed up so fast?
379
00:16:57,734 --> 00:17:01,116
I know my subcontractors
like the back of my
380
00:17:01,166 --> 00:17:02,917
brassiere cup.
381
00:17:02,967 --> 00:17:06,550
Like the back
of your, your br,
382
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:07,483
hold on.
383
00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:10,550
I want to talk to you about your
384
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,717
business, because frankly,
this kind of establishment
385
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:16,617
is something we in Daneport
associate with fruits,
386
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:19,317
and Europeans, and we don't,
387
00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:21,800
don't have that sort
388
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,250
around here.
389
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,350
Not at all, Mr. Miller.
390
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,000
You've got it all wrong.
391
00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:30,967
Let me show you.
392
00:17:33,367 --> 00:17:35,784
So, I told Jane, I
said, so what if he's
393
00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:37,617
15 years younger than she is.
394
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:39,983
If he makes her happy,
that's what counts.
395
00:17:40,033 --> 00:17:41,417
Well, so long as
the kid's parents
396
00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:43,517
and the police don't find out.
397
00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:45,016
So what are you
doing this afternoon?
398
00:17:45,066 --> 00:17:47,050
Ooh, I thought I'd
try that new salon.
399
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,317
Maybe get myself done.
400
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:51,450
Who knows, maybe
some 17-year-old stud
401
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,884
will get the hots for me.
402
00:17:52,934 --> 00:17:56,684
Mom, you
and some young thing.
403
00:17:56,734 --> 00:17:58,684
Let me know how it goes, okay?
404
00:17:58,734 --> 00:18:00,450
With the salon or the stud?
405
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,617
The salon.
406
00:18:02,667 --> 00:18:05,617
You know, I met that
Yvonne Wayne the other day.
407
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,784
She seemed a little weird.
408
00:18:07,834 --> 00:18:10,417
Oh, weird like Bancroft
Hutchenreuter weird,
409
00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:12,183
or weird like body snatchers?
410
00:18:12,233 --> 00:18:14,650
Well, just don't
let them turn you into
411
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:16,317
a sex maniac or anything, okay?
412
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:18,684
Oh, and I thought it
was the widows like me
413
00:18:18,734 --> 00:18:20,500
who were supposed
to be the prudes.
414
00:18:23,834 --> 00:18:26,983
I don't know, it just
seems a little whacko.
415
00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:28,317
Afraid of the
competition, are you?
416
00:18:28,367 --> 00:18:29,884
We don't do legs.
417
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,517
Then what's the beef?
418
00:18:31,567 --> 00:18:33,050
Well, I don't get it.
419
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,850
I mean, why bring this kind
of business to Daneport?
420
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:38,834
People in big cities and Europe
get that kind of treatment.
421
00:18:40,033 --> 00:18:41,417
Holy shit.
422
00:18:41,467 --> 00:18:42,300
What?
423
00:18:44,967 --> 00:18:47,116
W-Wayne's D-dip-i-di-di--
424
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:47,950
Depilation.
425
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:48,784
- Right.
- Yeah.
426
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,083
A full page ad?
427
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:51,550
What's gotten into
Frank, anyway?
428
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,550
He's never taken out a
full page ad in his life.
429
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,150
Where is he, anyway?
430
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,367
Has anyone seen him?
431
00:18:57,533 --> 00:19:00,483
Wayne's Waxing Salon announces
its opening giveaway,
432
00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:02,750
one free body wax with this ad.
433
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,383
Do away with pesky body
hair for six months.
434
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:06,617
(sighing)
435
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,467
Be more attractive
to the opposite sex.
436
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,183
Swim faster.
437
00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:14,750
Experience love making
as it should be.
438
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,834
Smooth and hairless.
439
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:18,684
Then what's the beef?
440
00:19:18,734 --> 00:19:20,100
It's good for six months.
441
00:19:22,066 --> 00:19:23,417
I mean, if it's
good for six months,
442
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:25,583
how can they stay in business?
443
00:19:25,633 --> 00:19:26,934
Wait for the tuna fleet?
444
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,200
Or an outbreak of puberty.
445
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,450
Thinking about getting
a wax done, Matt?
446
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:39,283
Me?
447
00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:40,250
Never.
448
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:41,700
Car, maybe.
450
00:19:49,166 --> 00:19:51,417
Oh, oh,
this is lovely.
453
00:20:06,834 --> 00:20:07,717
See?
454
00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:09,183
Told you it wasn't haunted.
455
00:20:09,233 --> 00:20:12,250
But my Uncle Hernando
said it was a place of evil.
456
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,050
Well, your Uncle
Hernando's been at sea too long.
459
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:24,183
I love--
460
00:20:24,233 --> 00:20:25,116
Frank.
461
00:20:25,166 --> 00:20:27,166
The feel of silk on bare skin.
462
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:29,650
You do?
463
00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:32,750
Got any silk jock socks?
464
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,266
Uh, jock?
465
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,333
Something roomy.
466
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,884
Roomy.
467
00:20:38,934 --> 00:20:42,100
Like a studio, or
like a mansion?
468
00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:45,183
That was a joke.
469
00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:46,684
Um.
470
00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:51,600
No, no, uh no jock,
silk or otherwise, none.
471
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,050
I hardly even recognized him.
472
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,917
He looked like a wax apple
having a bad hair day.
473
00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:02,817
He has undergone rejuvenation
at the hot wax palace.
474
00:21:02,867 --> 00:21:04,016
Well, what
all did they do to him?
475
00:21:04,066 --> 00:21:05,850
Made him a man.
476
00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:06,950
Really?
477
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,950
Ew.
478
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,417
Well, you went there.
479
00:21:11,467 --> 00:21:12,550
What was it like?
480
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,850
(Mom chuckles)
481
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,617
Mom?
482
00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:18,617
Mom, are you okay?
483
00:21:18,667 --> 00:21:20,450
The salon.
484
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,817
What was it like?
485
00:21:21,867 --> 00:21:22,917
Why do you ask?
486
00:21:22,967 --> 00:21:23,750
Oh, come on.
487
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,116
A salon in Daneport.
488
00:21:25,166 --> 00:21:27,483
A place like that reminds me of
489
00:21:27,533 --> 00:21:29,717
a beauty parlor for dogs.
490
00:21:29,767 --> 00:21:31,717
You take in a shaggy
mutt, you come out with
491
00:21:31,767 --> 00:21:33,216
a clipped pooch with
a bow on its hip
492
00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:35,817
and one on its head smelling
like a French whore house.
493
00:21:35,867 --> 00:21:37,283
And what all did they do to you?
494
00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:40,000
Did they do the whole like
body massage and makeup deal?
495
00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:47,083
They get rid of all
that pesky body hair.
496
00:21:47,133 --> 00:21:50,100
It was the most liberating
experience of my life.
497
00:21:51,133 --> 00:21:52,367
God, I need a man!
498
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:54,517
Ain't that the truth.
499
00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:55,750
Got tons of stuff
that needs to be
500
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,884
taken care of around
here, and Mick,
501
00:21:57,934 --> 00:22:00,850
getting him to help out
is next to impossible.
503
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:03,850
What?
504
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:05,417
All that hair!
505
00:22:05,467 --> 00:22:07,350
Why don't you do something?
506
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,750
I'm shaving it.
507
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,617
That's not enough!
509
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:15,834
Mom?
510
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,317
Mom!
513
00:22:22,567 --> 00:22:24,450
Yeah, you're pretty
handy with that knife.
514
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,383
Amazing.
515
00:22:25,433 --> 00:22:26,317
It is my profession, you know.
516
00:22:26,367 --> 00:22:27,300
Being amazing.
517
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,183
Hey babe.
518
00:22:33,233 --> 00:22:34,750
You okay?
519
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:35,583
Babe.
521
00:22:55,367 --> 00:22:56,817
Man, that's gotta hurt.
522
00:22:56,867 --> 00:22:58,700
Not if you know
what you're doing.
524
00:23:09,967 --> 00:23:11,100
What's the matter?
525
00:23:12,467 --> 00:23:14,417
My mother.
526
00:23:14,467 --> 00:23:16,717
She went into that
new salon today,
527
00:23:16,767 --> 00:23:17,917
and they must have I don't know
528
00:23:17,967 --> 00:23:20,283
given her weird
pills or something.
529
00:23:20,333 --> 00:23:23,083
It takes women days
to adjust to a new do.
530
00:23:23,133 --> 00:23:24,583
Oh, okay, Micky.
531
00:23:24,633 --> 00:23:26,934
Well, how does that
explain Frank Miller, huh?
532
00:23:27,967 --> 00:23:29,166
He's gone weird too.
533
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:33,550
Let's eat.
534
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:34,600
All right.
536
00:24:06,467 --> 00:24:08,884
Okay, so one,
two, three, four, there.
537
00:24:08,934 --> 00:24:09,983
My turn?
538
00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:10,917
Yeah, it's your turn.
539
00:24:10,967 --> 00:24:12,383
Double purple.
540
00:24:12,433 --> 00:24:13,417
You've been getting
lucky all night.
541
00:24:13,467 --> 00:24:14,300
I'm just good.
543
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:21,216
No Mick, you're over here.
544
00:24:21,266 --> 00:24:22,150
No, I'm right there.
545
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:22,950
Mick, you're over here.
546
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,050
No, you're over here.
547
00:24:24,100 --> 00:24:24,983
All right, you're right.
549
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:28,917
Raccoons?
550
00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:29,750
Who knows.
551
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:30,633
Come on.
552
00:24:33,166 --> 00:24:34,066
You guys.
553
00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:35,934
Guys!
557
00:24:59,033 --> 00:24:59,917
Fore!
563
00:25:27,467 --> 00:25:30,083
You must
die, you must die.
564
00:25:30,133 --> 00:25:32,800
Bastard, burn the bastard, burn.
565
00:25:34,333 --> 00:25:36,250
Gosh, can't we all
just like get alone.
566
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:37,950
I think somebody
doesn't like us.
568
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,083
Jesus, Sharon.
569
00:25:40,133 --> 00:25:41,283
- What the hell is that?
570
00:25:41,333 --> 00:25:42,433
Now that's scary.
571
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:44,917
High tech raccoons.
572
00:25:44,967 --> 00:25:46,283
Elaborate practical joke.
573
00:25:46,333 --> 00:25:47,517
Hanged in effigy?
574
00:25:47,567 --> 00:25:50,483
You must have really
botched a flattop.
575
00:25:50,533 --> 00:25:53,250
Well, I say we put
our gallows friend to bed.
576
00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:54,216
Yeah.
577
00:25:54,266 --> 00:25:55,483
You must die.
578
00:25:55,533 --> 00:25:58,583
Bastard, burn the
bastard, burn him.
579
00:25:58,633 --> 00:26:00,150
You must die.
580
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,083
You must die, bastard.
583
00:26:25,767 --> 00:26:30,000
And you won't
forget to wax my throttle.
585
00:26:37,667 --> 00:26:38,550
♪ Only for daybreak
586
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,250
♪ Can't catch me
587
00:26:40,300 --> 00:26:42,150
♪ If I can only see
588
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,250
♪ What I you and I would need
589
00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:46,050
♪ Sorry if it hurts
590
00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:51,950
♪ Well, maybe I'll
stay at home ♪
591
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,216
♪ Oh, now the word is out.
592
00:26:53,266 --> 00:26:54,750
Mmm.
593
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,717
Try telling me again it
was kids who did that.
594
00:26:57,767 --> 00:26:59,283
Come on.
595
00:26:59,333 --> 00:27:00,917
Who doesn't like barbers?
596
00:27:00,967 --> 00:27:04,417
Someone with a
gruesome sense of humor.
597
00:27:04,467 --> 00:27:06,767
Somehow, this doesn't seem
like the time or the place.
598
00:27:08,033 --> 00:27:09,533
Is that all you think about?
599
00:27:11,133 --> 00:27:11,967
Yeah.
603
00:27:17,133 --> 00:27:20,367
This one desperately
needs to be waxed.
604
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,717
And eight times a
week just isn't enough.
605
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,550
You know what my doctor said.
606
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,283
So it's more therapeutic
for you to have sex
607
00:27:29,333 --> 00:27:31,183
than it is to make love
with your girlfriend.
608
00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:32,650
It's science.
609
00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:35,717
Besides, you always
love it when I--
610
00:27:35,767 --> 00:27:36,600
Mmm.
611
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:38,884
Watch it.
612
00:27:38,934 --> 00:27:39,817
Come.
613
00:27:39,867 --> 00:27:40,850
Pesky body hair.
614
00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:41,717
Watch it.
616
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:43,750
Ow.
617
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,650
City Council
official business.
624
00:29:28,333 --> 00:29:32,500
How nice to see you,
Miss Councilwoman.
625
00:29:34,467 --> 00:29:35,917
Business keeps
going on like this,
626
00:29:35,967 --> 00:29:37,750
you'll have to open branches.
627
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,633
We're thinking, website.
629
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,550
Some take the removal
better than others.
631
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:56,667
How
unusual, it's so warm.
632
00:29:59,633 --> 00:30:03,650
This is where we mix
the wax with the other
633
00:30:03,700 --> 00:30:06,383
ingredients to
remove all traces of
634
00:30:06,433 --> 00:30:08,367
pesky body hair.
635
00:30:11,433 --> 00:30:15,417
Yes, there is a special chemical
636
00:30:15,467 --> 00:30:17,400
to soften the skin
637
00:30:18,967 --> 00:30:20,900
and some say it
affects the mind.
638
00:30:22,367 --> 00:30:25,750
It does?
639
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:30,100
It frees you from the
distraction of pesky body hair.
640
00:30:31,066 --> 00:30:35,016
It does?
641
00:30:35,066 --> 00:30:37,917
Depilation sets
one free from all the
642
00:30:37,967 --> 00:30:42,934
unpleasant emotions that
we associate with hair.
643
00:30:43,700 --> 00:30:46,717
It does?
644
00:30:46,767 --> 00:30:51,216
The ecstasy of being
without pesky body hair
645
00:30:51,266 --> 00:30:54,433
is truly orgasmic.
646
00:30:55,767 --> 00:30:58,317
It is.
647
00:30:58,367 --> 00:31:01,784
Beyond your
wildest imagination.
648
00:31:01,834 --> 00:31:05,583
It just keeps going and
going and going and going,
649
00:31:05,633 --> 00:31:08,283
your libido goes wild!
650
00:31:08,333 --> 00:31:09,917
Taking you to places that you
651
00:31:09,967 --> 00:31:13,083
never even dared to dream about.
654
00:31:15,834 --> 00:31:17,600
♪ Ow
655
00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:27,917
♪ We used to be, oh
656
00:31:27,967 --> 00:31:30,450
♪ Superstar girl
657
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:32,800
Places we've
never dreamed about?
658
00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:35,583
Like Orlando?
664
00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:47,150
♪ She's so crazy
665
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:48,617
♪ The girl's gone crazy
666
00:31:48,667 --> 00:31:50,517
♪ She's so crazy
668
00:31:53,333 --> 00:31:55,150
♪ Any time, any place
669
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,917
♪ She's got such
peculiar taste ♪
670
00:31:57,967 --> 00:32:00,700
♪ She's so crazy
671
00:32:02,233 --> 00:32:03,583
(needle scratching)
672
00:32:03,633 --> 00:32:06,116
I thought you guys all
go to sleep afterwards.
673
00:32:06,166 --> 00:32:07,050
Not me.
674
00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:08,083
You ready for the next round?
675
00:32:08,133 --> 00:32:09,800
As soon as you are.
676
00:32:12,066 --> 00:32:13,367
What's that smell?
677
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,083
While you were
in the bathroom I
678
00:32:16,133 --> 00:32:17,483
started heating something.
679
00:32:17,533 --> 00:32:19,917
Oh yeah, like what?
680
00:32:19,967 --> 00:32:22,016
It's going to make
it so good for you.
681
00:32:22,066 --> 00:32:23,950
You're never going to
believe it could be so good.
682
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,200
Oh, yes I will.
683
00:32:26,834 --> 00:32:28,317
Do you trust me?
684
00:32:28,367 --> 00:32:31,550
I just fucked you
for three hours.
685
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,367
Then I really have
something for you.
687
00:32:37,767 --> 00:32:40,033
What are you going to do?
688
00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:44,884
Gonna rid you
of that pesky body hair.
689
00:32:44,934 --> 00:32:45,767
Cool!
690
00:32:48,233 --> 00:32:49,066
Oh.
691
00:32:50,967 --> 00:32:54,183
Oh, don't stop now, I
feel lonely and neglected.
692
00:32:54,233 --> 00:32:55,600
Have to wait til it dries.
693
00:32:57,567 --> 00:32:58,784
Then hand me my
cigarette, please,
694
00:32:58,834 --> 00:33:01,517
I might as well have
something in my mouth.
697
00:33:03,533 --> 00:33:05,216
Any business?
698
00:33:05,266 --> 00:33:06,367
No.
699
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:08,800
Adjourned.
700
00:33:15,934 --> 00:33:17,383
Hurry up, Frank.
701
00:33:17,433 --> 00:33:19,083
I need to get laid.
704
00:33:23,700 --> 00:33:24,784
♪ Work that body,
work that body ♪
706
00:33:27,133 --> 00:33:29,216
♪ Work that body,
work that body ♪
707
00:33:29,266 --> 00:33:31,483
♪ Make sure you
don't hurt nobody ♪
709
00:33:34,233 --> 00:33:36,050
♪ Make you don't hurt nobody
710
00:33:36,100 --> 00:33:40,884
♪ Work that body,
work that body ♪
711
00:33:40,934 --> 00:33:42,583
♪ Everybody
712
00:33:42,633 --> 00:33:44,550
Faster, faster.
713
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:45,834
Faster, faster.
714
00:33:51,100 --> 00:33:52,450
Faster.
715
00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:53,333
Faster.
716
00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:57,166
You've got to be kidding.
717
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:01,150
♪ Get on the floor and get up
718
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,083
Welcome
to Yvonne's website.
719
00:34:03,133 --> 00:34:05,684
Please enter password.
720
00:34:05,734 --> 00:34:07,250
Depilation.
722
00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:11,867
Access denied.
723
00:34:13,066 --> 00:34:13,900
Hmm.
724
00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:16,183
Horny.
726
00:34:18,633 --> 00:34:20,050
Access denied.
727
00:34:20,100 --> 00:34:21,150
Dammit.
729
00:34:25,934 --> 00:34:27,617
You look like you
had a hard night.
730
00:34:27,667 --> 00:34:28,867
The best.
731
00:34:30,133 --> 00:34:32,050
You look like
sunburned or something.
732
00:34:32,100 --> 00:34:34,000
Oh, I feel terrific.
733
00:34:34,934 --> 00:34:36,867
Access denied.
734
00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:42,150
I made love all night.
735
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:43,734
Isn't that normal for you?
736
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,700
Come to think
of it, yes, it is.
738
00:35:06,033 --> 00:35:09,350
♪ You, the eyes of the world
739
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,817
♪ Tell us how long
it will take ♪
740
00:35:12,867 --> 00:35:16,383
♪ We're onto you
741
00:35:16,433 --> 00:35:20,583
♪ We're onto you
742
00:35:20,633 --> 00:35:24,216
♪ You, the voice of the world
743
00:35:24,266 --> 00:35:26,383
♪ Tell us what you need to say
746
00:35:35,767 --> 00:35:39,283
Scratch sleepy cost
town, put catatonic.
747
00:35:39,333 --> 00:35:41,450
It's like the whole
town's turn into,
748
00:35:41,500 --> 00:35:44,650
I don't know, zombies.
749
00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:46,183
Vampires.
750
00:35:46,233 --> 00:35:47,850
Walking dead.
751
00:35:47,900 --> 00:35:49,750
Republicans.
752
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,216
Ever since they came to town.
753
00:35:52,266 --> 00:35:53,717
That's a strange
group of bikers.
755
00:35:59,233 --> 00:36:02,350
Ooh, I like my nasty body hair.
757
00:36:17,867 --> 00:36:18,700
Pesky
758
00:36:19,700 --> 00:36:20,533
body hair.
759
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:23,983
What's that?
760
00:36:24,033 --> 00:36:25,050
- Yew.
- Me?
761
00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:26,317
- Who?
- What?
762
00:36:26,367 --> 00:36:27,517
- It's something the
captains gave me.
763
00:36:27,567 --> 00:36:28,884
That was a hit.
764
00:36:28,934 --> 00:36:30,750
I will now play another hit,
765
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,317
though I don't know
why anyone listens
766
00:36:32,367 --> 00:36:33,433
to this mierda.
767
00:36:34,567 --> 00:36:36,650
Something stinks in this town.
768
00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:38,583
That's the paper
mill in Eureka.
770
00:36:40,133 --> 00:36:41,283
I myself
am free of such trivialities.
771
00:36:41,333 --> 00:36:43,450
All I need now are
some compliant nubile
772
00:36:43,500 --> 00:36:46,116
hairless 18-year-old girls
to make my life complete.
774
00:36:47,467 --> 00:36:48,400
Don't we all.
775
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,066
Did he just say mierda, mara.
776
00:36:55,233 --> 00:36:56,850
You won't go near that salon.
777
00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:57,684
Promise.
778
00:36:57,734 --> 00:36:59,550
Oh no.
779
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,583
I'm not worried about Sven.
780
00:37:01,633 --> 00:37:03,450
I know he won't do
anything foolish.
781
00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:04,617
Coward that I am.
782
00:37:04,667 --> 00:37:05,750
But you.
783
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,684
Hair is my life.
784
00:37:07,734 --> 00:37:08,700
Keep it that way.
786
00:37:12,934 --> 00:37:17,934
♪ I got it, I got it
787
00:37:22,934 --> 00:37:24,650
♪ I got no hair
788
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:26,283
♪ Under this hat
789
00:37:26,333 --> 00:37:28,183
♪ And it trace south
790
00:37:28,233 --> 00:37:30,050
♪ Down my back
791
00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:32,450
♪ But I've got to slip away
792
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,083
♪ Slip away
793
00:37:34,133 --> 00:37:36,016
♪ I've got to slip away
794
00:37:36,066 --> 00:37:41,066
♪ From you, baby
795
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,817
♪ I've gotta go
796
00:37:43,867 --> 00:37:48,784
♪ You've gotta go
797
00:37:48,834 --> 00:37:52,183
♪ Ah, and the sun will rise
798
00:37:52,233 --> 00:37:54,016
More wax, Talbot.
799
00:37:54,066 --> 00:37:57,317
I'm stirring the hot
tub as fast as I can!
800
00:37:57,367 --> 00:38:00,583
You are stirring the vat!
801
00:38:00,633 --> 00:38:03,967
You're
stirring the cauldron.
802
00:38:09,533 --> 00:38:11,867
♪ Slip away
805
00:38:27,734 --> 00:38:30,684
♪ Up a tree
806
00:38:30,734 --> 00:38:33,950
♪ You won't follow me
807
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,817
That is all for today.
808
00:38:35,867 --> 00:38:39,784
We will be back tomorrow at
this time with a new load.
809
00:38:39,834 --> 00:38:42,133
See you then, and
have a nice day.
810
00:38:43,133 --> 00:38:45,467
♪ Slip away
811
00:38:46,633 --> 00:38:48,250
Busy?
812
00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:49,133
Mmm.
813
00:38:50,700 --> 00:38:53,383
Ain't seen nothing like
this since ought six.
816
00:39:05,300 --> 00:39:06,483
Ah.
817
00:39:06,533 --> 00:39:07,717
What is, what
do you want here?
818
00:39:07,767 --> 00:39:08,817
This won't hurt
a bit, handsome.
819
00:39:08,867 --> 00:39:10,283
Get out of here, woman.
820
00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:13,250
Then you'll be all ours,
free of that pesky body hair.
822
00:39:15,233 --> 00:39:16,983
Don't you want us?
823
00:39:17,033 --> 00:39:18,750
Are you sick or something?
824
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:19,684
Perverted?
825
00:39:19,734 --> 00:39:22,583
The wax will set you free.
826
00:39:22,633 --> 00:39:23,817
Get on out of
here, young women,
827
00:39:23,867 --> 00:39:25,250
or we'll make you
walk the plank.
828
00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:28,283
We'll make shark bait
out of you, now git.
831
00:39:36,033 --> 00:39:37,216
Ain't seen the like of this
832
00:39:37,266 --> 00:39:38,817
since we rode with
Teddy Roosevelt.
833
00:39:38,867 --> 00:39:39,850
Pershing.
834
00:39:39,900 --> 00:39:41,083
Roosevelt.
835
00:39:41,133 --> 00:39:42,617
That was Pershing,
you don't know.
836
00:39:42,667 --> 00:39:44,250
Goldang it, it was
Roosevelt, you old fool.
837
00:39:44,300 --> 00:39:45,216
You wouldn't know Roosevelt
838
00:39:45,266 --> 00:39:46,834
if he came up, shook your hand.
839
00:39:54,333 --> 00:39:55,200
What's up, Ted.
841
00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:58,333
How's Pilar?
842
00:39:59,533 --> 00:40:02,750
No more pesky body hair.
843
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,650
Yeah, well you know,
I try not to meddle
844
00:40:04,700 --> 00:40:06,367
in people's marital
affairs, but,
845
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,717
a little turn-off, huh?
846
00:40:08,767 --> 00:40:10,317
You know, the hair?
848
00:40:11,567 --> 00:40:12,717
Hey, hey, hey hey hey,
what's the matter?
849
00:40:12,767 --> 00:40:14,417
Hey, Ted, don't be
afraid, it's me, Mick.
850
00:40:14,467 --> 00:40:16,583
Here, take 14 bucks.
852
00:40:18,100 --> 00:40:19,950
Here, come on, take
the $14, come on.
853
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,583
Get out!
854
00:40:21,633 --> 00:40:23,050
The money.
855
00:40:23,100 --> 00:40:24,350
Get out!
856
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,083
Go away!
857
00:40:26,133 --> 00:40:27,317
Ted.
858
00:40:27,367 --> 00:40:31,550
You will become
unbelievably horny.
859
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:36,600
Look at Pilar, 180
pounds of bucking bronco.
860
00:40:40,100 --> 00:40:41,083
Unbelievably?
861
00:40:41,133 --> 00:40:43,583
Get out!
862
00:40:43,633 --> 00:40:44,950
Horny?
866
00:41:12,100 --> 00:41:13,550
Ah!
867
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,467
We've been expecting
you, Mr. Orion.
868
00:41:18,367 --> 00:41:20,483
Have you now?
869
00:41:20,533 --> 00:41:22,550
You seem most interested
in what our little
870
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,600
salon has to offer.
871
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,300
How 'bout a demonstration.
876
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:43,734
Uh, oh, come on.
877
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:46,200
Come on, come on.
878
00:41:47,934 --> 00:41:48,734
Dang.
880
00:41:53,266 --> 00:41:54,066
Sorry.
882
00:41:58,300 --> 00:42:01,633
Oh, he was so well hung.
883
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:06,950
Take him to room number four.
884
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,850
Whoa, whoa, come on, come on.
885
00:42:08,900 --> 00:42:12,000
Come on, no, no, not
room number four.
888
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:25,884
Hey, I'm probably out
889
00:42:25,934 --> 00:42:27,450
giving a buzz cut,
so leave a message.
891
00:42:29,700 --> 00:42:30,900
Hi, honey, it's me.
892
00:42:32,266 --> 00:42:35,850
I'm feeling a
little, I don't know.
893
00:42:35,900 --> 00:42:39,250
Um, okay so, maybe I've been
a little preoccupied lately
894
00:42:39,300 --> 00:42:42,617
but um, I just
need to feel safer
895
00:42:42,667 --> 00:42:45,266
with all this going on, so um.
896
00:42:46,900 --> 00:42:48,934
Anyway, I've got a
surprise for you.
897
00:42:50,533 --> 00:42:52,750
It's the top of the
line at the shop.
899
00:42:54,033 --> 00:42:56,600
So um, get here ASAP, okay?
900
00:43:00,066 --> 00:43:04,150
This is a simple
process of osmosis.
901
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:10,083
While the wax is bonding
to your pesky body hair,
902
00:43:10,133 --> 00:43:13,383
this chemical is
seeping into your skin,
903
00:43:13,433 --> 00:43:15,800
into your very psyche.
904
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,283
Yeah well, you see, I'm Irish,
905
00:43:18,333 --> 00:43:21,283
and I really don't want
anything seeping into my psyche.
906
00:43:21,333 --> 00:43:24,750
Once you're
with us, you'll see.
907
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,750
All the barriers are down.
908
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,483
No fear, no hate.
909
00:43:30,533 --> 00:43:36,216
No evulsion, no pesky
bodism sentimentality.
910
00:43:36,266 --> 00:43:38,867
Just pure sensualism.
911
00:43:41,266 --> 00:43:42,150
Gosh.
912
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:43,800
Yes, gosh.
914
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:48,950
This may sting a little.
916
00:43:52,834 --> 00:43:53,800
Damn it, Mick.
917
00:43:56,900 --> 00:43:58,100
Where are you?
918
00:44:02,166 --> 00:44:03,300
Think, think.
921
00:44:20,033 --> 00:44:20,867
Yes.
924
00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,583
- Hey, he's taking this
very well, isn't he?
925
00:44:38,633 --> 00:44:39,467
- Yes.
926
00:44:49,700 --> 00:44:50,667
Leave us.
927
00:44:53,700 --> 00:44:57,033
Now you will feel what you
have never felt before.
929
00:45:02,967 --> 00:45:03,800
Blood.
930
00:45:10,934 --> 00:45:13,834
See how much better
it is without--
931
00:45:14,767 --> 00:45:15,967
Pesky body hair.
934
00:45:38,700 --> 00:45:41,216
Nothing's going to happen,
dipshit, there's no music.
935
00:45:41,266 --> 00:45:43,250
There's always music when
something's going to happen.
937
00:45:45,300 --> 00:45:46,133
Oh, jeez.
940
00:46:03,100 --> 00:46:06,583
Thank you for calling
9-1-1 emergency services.
941
00:46:06,633 --> 00:46:08,417
We're out of the
office at the moment,
942
00:46:08,467 --> 00:46:11,083
but if it's really,
really urgent,
943
00:46:11,133 --> 00:46:13,550
having to do with
pesky body hair,
944
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:17,216
please page us at Wayne's
Depilation Palace,
945
00:46:17,266 --> 00:46:21,500
and we hope you have a nice,
hairless, fulfilling day.
946
00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:28,517
Mick won't answer his phone.
947
00:46:28,567 --> 00:46:30,467
9-1-1's at an orgy.
950
00:46:39,700 --> 00:46:40,884
We're here.
951
00:46:40,934 --> 00:46:42,150
I'll use it.
952
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,750
I hope you're wearing
nice underwear, Sharon.
953
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,050
Really now, there's
no need for violence.
954
00:46:47,100 --> 00:46:48,283
Have the treatment.
955
00:46:48,333 --> 00:46:49,850
Be one of us.
956
00:46:49,900 --> 00:46:52,817
No more hate, no
fear, no jealousy.
957
00:46:52,867 --> 00:46:55,016
No more teacher's dirty looks.
958
00:46:55,066 --> 00:46:58,417
You'll discover your
true sensuality within,
959
00:46:58,467 --> 00:47:00,116
beneath all that pesky--
960
00:47:00,166 --> 00:47:01,083
Body hair.
961
00:47:01,133 --> 00:47:03,150
I always wanted you, you know.
962
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,050
I'll slice you into
candles, I promise.
963
00:47:05,100 --> 00:47:07,050
Sounds sensual.
964
00:47:07,100 --> 00:47:08,850
You can't kill us, Sharon.
965
00:47:08,900 --> 00:47:11,016
We're zombies, hot wax zombies.
966
00:47:11,066 --> 00:47:12,083
We're already dead.
967
00:47:12,133 --> 00:47:12,967
Ow!
968
00:47:13,867 --> 00:47:14,650
No!
970
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,717
Genetic deviation.
971
00:47:24,767 --> 00:47:25,550
Ew.
972
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,266
Monsters.
973
00:47:28,367 --> 00:47:29,617
Ugh.
975
00:47:34,433 --> 00:47:36,083
That stuff's dynamite.
977
00:47:38,834 --> 00:47:39,667
Yow, help!
978
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:45,884
Help!
980
00:48:11,300 --> 00:48:12,133
Mick?
982
00:48:27,734 --> 00:48:28,517
Mick.
985
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:46,083
Mick.
986
00:48:46,133 --> 00:48:47,983
Hubba hubba.
987
00:48:48,033 --> 00:48:49,700
Horny, aren't you?
988
00:48:50,533 --> 00:48:52,133
And insistent, too.
989
00:48:53,266 --> 00:48:54,850
No.
990
00:48:54,900 --> 00:48:55,884
Come on.
991
00:48:55,934 --> 00:48:57,517
Where?
992
00:48:57,567 --> 00:48:58,684
In the kitchen.
993
00:48:58,734 --> 00:49:00,116
The kitchen?
994
00:49:00,166 --> 00:49:02,200
Don't you know what's
happening out there?
995
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:10,734
We, we, we've gotta run,
we've gotta find Sven, I mean.
996
00:49:15,300 --> 00:49:17,800
Hmm, uh, seems a little
early for mosquitoes, huh?
997
00:49:20,233 --> 00:49:22,317
So you've been hot
waxed, haven't you?
998
00:49:22,367 --> 00:49:23,850
It's better than
being like you,
999
00:49:23,900 --> 00:49:26,717
a slave to emotions
and pesky body hair.
1000
00:49:26,767 --> 00:49:29,216
So you don't feel
any emotions at all?
1001
00:49:29,266 --> 00:49:31,850
Only one, lust.
1002
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:33,850
Insatiable carnality.
1003
00:49:33,900 --> 00:49:35,684
Being free of pesky
body hair has opened up
1004
00:49:35,734 --> 00:49:37,250
a whole new world to me.
1005
00:49:37,300 --> 00:49:41,583
A world of ultimate sensuality.
1006
00:49:41,633 --> 00:49:44,350
Since when do you
need help getting horny?
1007
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,417
It's for the best,
Sharon, you'll see.
1008
00:49:46,467 --> 00:49:48,383
We'll spend the rest
of our lives together
1009
00:49:48,433 --> 00:49:51,133
experiencing the
ultimate sensuality.
1010
00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:54,650
You, you're
repeating yourself.
1011
00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:58,033
Oh, it's going to be so
good, you being one of us.
1012
00:49:58,867 --> 00:50:00,884
Now relax.
1013
00:50:00,934 --> 00:50:02,600
The pain won't last long.
1014
00:50:03,667 --> 00:50:04,650
And when it's over
1016
00:50:06,133 --> 00:50:08,116
I'll let you be on top.
1017
00:50:08,166 --> 00:50:09,767
Golly, I can hardly wait.
1020
00:50:24,233 --> 00:50:26,433
Always in the right
place at the right time.
1021
00:50:28,700 --> 00:50:29,967
Bye bye, darling.
1022
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,617
But Sharon, I can help!
1023
00:50:33,667 --> 00:50:36,250
No more pesky body hair!
1024
00:50:36,300 --> 00:50:37,483
Ever!
1025
00:50:37,533 --> 00:50:38,333
Oh, Sharon.
1027
00:50:50,900 --> 00:50:52,216
There's no way out, Sharon.
1029
00:50:53,533 --> 00:50:55,050
Hey, somebody
mind letting me out?
1030
00:50:55,100 --> 00:50:59,717
You can't stop monsters
created from man's
1031
00:50:59,767 --> 00:51:02,617
gumption of our ecology.
1032
00:51:02,667 --> 00:51:03,650
Whatever.
1033
00:51:03,700 --> 00:51:05,850
We are the undead, join us.
1034
00:51:05,900 --> 00:51:06,750
Never
1035
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:07,717
Yes, you will.
1036
00:51:07,767 --> 00:51:08,617
Avast, you squab.
1037
00:51:08,667 --> 00:51:10,100
Hard about, girly.
1038
00:51:11,033 --> 00:51:12,150
Hoist the mainsail.
1041
00:51:20,266 --> 00:51:22,016
Only your emotions where dead.
1042
00:51:22,066 --> 00:51:23,950
And your follicles, Matt.
1043
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,784
Oh, that explains it.
1044
00:51:26,834 --> 00:51:27,667
Ow!
1045
00:51:29,266 --> 00:51:30,050
My God.
1046
00:51:30,100 --> 00:51:31,617
That's gotta hurt.
1047
00:51:31,667 --> 00:51:33,617
He looks like he's
got a walrus on him.
1048
00:51:33,667 --> 00:51:34,550
A walrus?
1049
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:36,016
An albatross, you ol' stubborn--
1050
00:51:36,066 --> 00:51:38,283
No, it ain't a damn albatross.
1051
00:51:38,333 --> 00:51:39,166
It's a whale.
1052
00:51:40,133 --> 00:51:40,917
Jesus Christ.
1053
00:51:40,967 --> 00:51:41,983
Look at the hair.
1054
00:51:42,033 --> 00:51:43,350
Looks like a manatee.
1055
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:44,967
What are you?
1056
00:51:45,900 --> 00:51:48,483
Y-E-W, exactly.
1057
00:51:48,533 --> 00:51:50,583
Smart zombie, by cracky.
1058
00:51:50,633 --> 00:51:52,817
Pacific yew.
1059
00:51:52,867 --> 00:51:55,617
Of course, you two
knew all along.
1060
00:51:55,667 --> 00:51:57,050
Best run along, girly,
1061
00:51:57,100 --> 00:51:59,150
while we use these
zombies to swab the deck.
1062
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:02,250
Cleanse the barnacles
and fight the lines.
1063
00:52:02,300 --> 00:52:03,150
Aye.
1064
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:04,050
Wait a minute, fellas.
1065
00:52:04,100 --> 00:52:05,900
I ain't been laid yet.
1066
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:07,834
Freak!
1068
00:52:10,467 --> 00:52:11,300
Somebody.
1069
00:52:12,467 --> 00:52:13,983
Open up.
1070
00:52:14,033 --> 00:52:14,867
I'm really horny.
1075
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:39,417
Carrie, Carrie, you've, wah.
1076
00:52:39,467 --> 00:52:40,250
Hi, Sharon.
1077
00:52:40,300 --> 00:52:42,083
What are you doing?
1078
00:52:42,133 --> 00:52:43,517
I'm going to
Portland to try out for
1079
00:52:43,567 --> 00:52:45,333
the U.S. national swim team.
1080
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:50,083
Oh no, not you too.
1081
00:52:50,133 --> 00:52:52,050
I can't let you
spread this contagion.
1082
00:52:52,100 --> 00:52:53,350
What contagion?
1083
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:55,050
Whatever it is that
makes people zombies.
1084
00:52:55,100 --> 00:52:58,116
Ravenous, hairless
horn dog zombies.
1085
00:52:58,166 --> 00:52:59,317
U.S. swim team?
1086
00:52:59,367 --> 00:53:01,750
I went to the
nationals as a junior.
1087
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:03,250
I did it all.
1088
00:53:03,300 --> 00:53:05,350
I told you I was thinking
of getting back into it.
1089
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:07,950
Well, here's my opportunity.
1090
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,950
I guess I didn't react
like they expected.
1091
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,983
I went to the pool
and I practiced.
1092
00:53:12,033 --> 00:53:13,450
I still have it.
1093
00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:14,583
And they were right.
1095
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:17,784
I do swim faster.
1096
00:53:17,834 --> 00:53:20,717
But it d-d-d-didn't turn you
into a sex-crazed zombie or?
1097
00:53:20,767 --> 00:53:22,867
I had no inhibitions to lose.
1098
00:53:24,900 --> 00:53:26,550
Except those keeping
from trying out
1099
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,550
for the national swim team.
1100
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:30,233
And I'm doing that next week.
1101
00:53:32,633 --> 00:53:34,016
Help me.
1102
00:53:34,066 --> 00:53:35,650
I have to stop them.
1103
00:53:35,700 --> 00:53:37,750
They'll take this formula,
and they'll do this again
1104
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:40,550
in town after town after
town unless they're stopped.
1105
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:41,784
Okay.
1106
00:53:41,834 --> 00:53:43,650
I will, I must stop them.
1107
00:53:43,700 --> 00:53:45,066
Okay, whatever.
1108
00:53:53,433 --> 00:53:55,166
I'll watch for
you on Wide World.
1109
00:53:56,100 --> 00:53:58,684
Okay, whatever.
1110
00:53:58,734 --> 00:53:59,533
Carrie.
1112
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,266
Well, I guess it's just me
1113
00:54:14,133 --> 00:54:14,967
and yew.
1116
00:54:28,900 --> 00:54:31,917
Once we corral Congress,
then we'll go after
1117
00:54:31,967 --> 00:54:34,667
the closet cross-dressers
on the radical right.
1119
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,417
Congressmen are so kinky.
1120
00:54:43,467 --> 00:54:44,917
Not to mention the President.
1121
00:54:44,967 --> 00:54:46,950
For say fare.
1122
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,450
Ow, oh.
1123
00:54:48,500 --> 00:54:49,333
Ow.
1126
00:55:10,133 --> 00:55:10,967
Hot damn.
1127
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:13,300
It's party time.
1128
00:55:15,433 --> 00:55:18,116
Everyone I kiss or has
cornered over the internet.
1129
00:55:18,166 --> 00:55:20,934
Our power will be
limitless.
1130
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:28,750
We'll be the gods of
ultimate sensualism.
1131
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,116
Rulers of the
world, free at last
1132
00:55:31,166 --> 00:55:32,967
from that dreaded stubble.
1133
00:55:35,900 --> 00:55:38,617
Tight-ass Sharon Talbot
stands between us
1134
00:55:38,667 --> 00:55:40,266
and total dominion.
1135
00:55:41,900 --> 00:55:43,066
Not a problem.
1136
00:55:43,967 --> 00:55:45,200
A world without hair.
1137
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:47,834
Something has to be done.
1138
00:55:51,734 --> 00:55:52,517
Faster,
faster, faster,
1139
00:55:52,567 --> 00:55:53,917
get it in, oh, oh!
1140
00:55:53,967 --> 00:55:54,850
Fucking rats.
1141
00:55:54,900 --> 00:55:56,450
Oh baby, oh baby.
1142
00:55:56,500 --> 00:55:59,083
Faster, faster,
faster, get it in.
1144
00:56:11,266 --> 00:56:13,350
Is that pesky body
hair keeping you
1145
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,617
from living life to the fullest?
1146
00:56:15,667 --> 00:56:19,417
If you've answered yes to
any of these questions,
1147
00:56:19,467 --> 00:56:21,183
then I'm here to tell
you about something
1148
00:56:21,233 --> 00:56:23,767
that will revolutionize
your life forever.
1149
00:56:24,700 --> 00:56:27,917
The Wayne WaxOMatic.
1150
00:56:27,967 --> 00:56:31,250
Just a pinch in those
hard to reach areas,
1151
00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:33,983
and (gasps) you will find that
1152
00:56:34,033 --> 00:56:36,717
your appointment book
will fill up in no time.
1153
00:56:36,767 --> 00:56:38,633
The Wayne WaxOMatic.
1154
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:43,917
Take it from me, a boon
to women everywhere.
1155
00:56:43,967 --> 00:56:45,367
And we like it, too.
1156
00:56:56,300 --> 00:56:57,100
Mom.
1157
00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:58,950
You're going cable?
1159
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:01,983
Martin.
1160
00:57:02,033 --> 00:57:02,917
Come.
1161
00:57:02,967 --> 00:57:04,400
You calling me dumb?
1163
00:57:26,066 --> 00:57:28,667
Come on, stupid child safety.
1165
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:35,850
Get her.
1166
00:57:35,900 --> 00:57:37,550
"Get her".
1167
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:38,884
Is that the best you
can come up with?
1169
00:57:40,100 --> 00:57:42,517
Seize the frigid interloper.
1170
00:57:42,567 --> 00:57:43,784
That's pretty good.
1171
00:57:43,834 --> 00:57:44,667
Whoa!
1172
00:57:46,867 --> 00:57:48,133
This room is a mess.
1173
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,083
Somebody go get Marion.
1174
00:57:51,133 --> 00:57:53,917
♪ Yeah, there you go
talkin' all of that smack ♪
1175
00:57:53,967 --> 00:57:54,850
♪ Thinkin' that you're all
1177
00:57:57,567 --> 00:57:58,650
Ow, ow!
1178
00:57:58,700 --> 00:57:59,884
Mom.
1179
00:57:59,934 --> 00:58:01,850
Radically cool,
isn't it, dear?
1180
00:58:01,900 --> 00:58:03,917
I have to know,
what is the password?
1181
00:58:03,967 --> 00:58:05,417
Orlando?
1182
00:58:05,467 --> 00:58:07,750
Damn, almost.
1183
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:08,633
Ow.
1186
00:58:19,934 --> 00:58:21,050
Shit.
1187
00:58:21,100 --> 00:58:22,884
Help!
1189
00:58:34,934 --> 00:58:36,050
Help!
1190
00:58:36,100 --> 00:58:38,166
Mmm, I love this thing.
1195
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,983
Ah, these things
always look better
1196
00:58:57,033 --> 00:58:58,917
in the catalogs, don't they?
1197
00:58:58,967 --> 00:59:02,667
Still, it shows a marked
lack of self-esteem.
1200
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:15,433
Oh, damn.
1202
00:59:18,667 --> 00:59:21,533
I hope you don't mind
waiting while I see to this.
1203
00:59:22,633 --> 00:59:24,300
Martin will keep you company.
1204
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:28,800
This better not be those
fucking rats again.
1206
00:59:43,367 --> 00:59:46,166
Can't you help me?
1207
00:59:48,133 --> 00:59:51,517
I don't want to wait for
them to come back and
1208
00:59:51,567 --> 00:59:54,133
see me like this,
makes me want you now.
1209
00:59:57,500 --> 00:59:58,734
Yvonne told me not to.
1210
01:00:00,066 --> 01:00:01,350
Mmm.
1211
01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:04,934
And I want you to do it.
1212
01:00:07,066 --> 01:00:08,900
Yvonne won't let me.
1213
01:00:10,734 --> 01:00:11,800
But I will.
1216
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:28,100
Not so fast, lover boy.
1217
01:00:30,467 --> 01:00:31,967
I stuff.
1218
01:00:33,133 --> 01:00:35,650
That's why they call
it a booby trap.
1220
01:00:36,900 --> 01:00:38,834
Thank you, thank
you very much.
1221
01:00:43,700 --> 01:00:46,283
This is an outrage!
1222
01:00:46,333 --> 01:00:47,784
No, this
1223
01:00:47,834 --> 01:00:48,784
is an outage.
1225
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:51,283
Ooh, scary lady.
1227
01:00:53,300 --> 01:00:54,483
How did you do that?
1228
01:00:54,533 --> 01:00:55,450
I don't know.
1229
01:00:55,500 --> 01:00:56,834
Same way I know how to do this.
1230
01:00:58,133 --> 01:00:59,483
Oh, what, stop, stop!
1231
01:00:59,533 --> 01:01:02,784
Stop, you're making me dizzy.
1232
01:01:02,834 --> 01:01:04,900
All right, you and
Marion, back in the house.
1237
01:01:22,300 --> 01:01:23,250
Hey, was that you screaming?
1238
01:01:23,300 --> 01:01:24,350
Yeah, didn't you hear me?
1239
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:25,784
Barely.
1240
01:01:25,834 --> 01:01:26,983
I must have wax in my ears.
1241
01:01:27,033 --> 01:01:29,283
Uh, your blouse and
your, uh, accoutrements,
1242
01:01:29,333 --> 01:01:31,884
it's uh, they're open.
1243
01:01:31,934 --> 01:01:32,767
Here.
1244
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:37,567
Carrie was right.
1245
01:01:38,433 --> 01:01:39,734
You are the real guy.
1247
01:01:43,333 --> 01:01:44,166
To Gold Rock.
1248
01:01:45,233 --> 01:01:46,066
What, now?
1250
01:01:51,934 --> 01:01:53,517
Okay, that's it.
1251
01:01:53,567 --> 01:01:55,850
They've had their chance,
we're nailing them!
1252
01:01:55,900 --> 01:01:56,817
My cape.
1253
01:01:56,867 --> 01:01:58,583
Oh, I had it cleaned.
1254
01:01:58,633 --> 01:02:01,367
What with the wax and the
road grime and everything.
1255
01:02:05,166 --> 01:02:06,266
Let's ride!
1257
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:20,083
Wow, she said
I was the real guy.
1258
01:02:20,133 --> 01:02:21,583
I wonder if she
meant it, though.
1259
01:02:21,633 --> 01:02:24,483
I mean, you know how women,
they just kind of say things.
1260
01:02:24,533 --> 01:02:26,550
Wait, wait a minute,
I mean, I'm real.
1261
01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:28,533
And I'm a guy, definitely a guy.
1262
01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:30,517
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
1263
01:02:30,567 --> 01:02:32,317
Mick's my best friend.
1264
01:02:32,367 --> 01:02:34,050
And Sharon's his gal.
1265
01:02:34,100 --> 01:02:36,650
No, I can't do that
to Mick, no way.
1266
01:02:36,700 --> 01:02:37,500
No way, I,
1267
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,750
yeah I can, yeah I can.
1268
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:41,684
Cool.
1269
01:02:41,734 --> 01:02:42,700
I got a girlfriend.
1274
01:02:57,033 --> 01:02:58,400
Sven is the real guy.
1275
01:02:59,834 --> 01:03:01,133
Can I do this to Mick?
1276
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,583
Yep, I can do that to Mick.
1277
01:03:06,633 --> 01:03:08,517
Is that an echo?
1278
01:03:08,567 --> 01:03:09,400
Cool.
1280
01:03:21,834 --> 01:03:25,650
Oh my gosh,
she's right behind us.
1281
01:03:25,700 --> 01:03:29,033
A-ooo-ga,
a-ooo-ga, down below!
1283
01:03:34,033 --> 01:03:35,317
Drive on!
1284
01:03:35,367 --> 01:03:37,216
Let's get 'em!
1285
01:03:37,266 --> 01:03:38,100
Whoo!
1286
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:56,934
I think we lost
them a few miles back.
1287
01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:58,800
But why here?
1289
01:04:18,066 --> 01:04:20,684
Okay, enough about geography.
1290
01:04:20,734 --> 01:04:21,567
But your timing.
1291
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:25,200
Think about it as
making up for lost time.
1293
01:04:39,133 --> 01:04:42,734
We've got to get to
Freeport before Yvonne.
1296
01:05:00,700 --> 01:05:01,884
Good evening.
1297
01:05:01,934 --> 01:05:03,417
Uh, good evening,
I'm uh, Sharon Talbot,
1298
01:05:03,467 --> 01:05:06,116
City Councilwoman from Daneport,
1299
01:05:06,166 --> 01:05:09,283
and this is Sven Jacobsen,
one of our local businessmen.
1300
01:05:09,333 --> 01:05:10,884
I'm impressed.
1301
01:05:10,934 --> 01:05:13,150
Is, is there
a captain on duty?
1302
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:14,650
Got a problem?
1303
01:05:14,700 --> 01:05:16,834
Listen, I think we need to
talk to the watch captain.
1304
01:05:18,066 --> 01:05:19,950
I'm not good enough,
is that it, huh?
1305
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,650
Who do you think you
are, rolling in here,
1306
01:05:21,700 --> 01:05:23,317
trying to get past
me to the captain
1307
01:05:23,367 --> 01:05:24,850
without any explanation?
1308
01:05:24,900 --> 01:05:28,250
Just trying to pull rank, go
over my head, do an end run?
1309
01:05:28,300 --> 01:05:31,983
Is that it, Miss City
Fucking Councilwoman?
1310
01:05:32,033 --> 01:05:34,000
Big fucking deal.
1311
01:05:35,667 --> 01:05:37,283
Hey, may we see the
watch captain, please?
1312
01:05:37,333 --> 01:05:39,533
You don't understand,
this is about zombies.
1313
01:05:40,700 --> 01:05:41,483
Zombies?
1314
01:05:41,533 --> 01:05:42,367
Yeah.
1315
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:43,983
Zombies.
1316
01:05:44,033 --> 01:05:46,250
Yeah.
1317
01:05:46,300 --> 01:05:48,767
Well yeah, why
didn't you guys just say so.
1318
01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:54,083
He wouldn't believe
it, can you believe it?
1319
01:05:54,133 --> 01:05:55,183
Oh, I can believe it.
1320
01:05:55,233 --> 01:05:56,016
I mean, can you believe it?
1321
01:05:56,066 --> 01:05:57,817
It's unbelievable.
1322
01:05:57,867 --> 01:05:58,784
But I believe it.
1323
01:05:58,834 --> 01:06:00,083
Hmm.
1324
01:06:00,133 --> 01:06:01,817
Well, there's one way
to make him believe it.
1325
01:06:01,867 --> 01:06:03,100
Believe me.
1326
01:06:04,633 --> 01:06:05,417
What?
1327
01:06:05,467 --> 01:06:06,500
Follow me.
1329
01:06:09,900 --> 01:06:12,517
Please, lock all your doors,
bolt all your windows.
1330
01:06:12,567 --> 01:06:15,183
A group of hot wax
zombies is coming to town.
1331
01:06:15,233 --> 01:06:16,383
Awesome.
1332
01:06:16,433 --> 01:06:17,950
And if they find you,
you'll be destroyed.
1333
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:19,884
So you gotta start
gathering yew.
1334
01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,116
You got it?
1335
01:06:21,166 --> 01:06:22,333
You gotta make your
yew turn on them.
1336
01:06:23,533 --> 01:06:24,317
What am I saying?
1338
01:06:28,934 --> 01:06:30,183
They're here, they're here!
1339
01:06:30,233 --> 01:06:32,317
Look out for the zombies!
1341
01:06:33,767 --> 01:06:34,600
Oh, jeez.
1342
01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:37,834
All those years of
therapy shot to shit.
1343
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:40,817
So.
1344
01:06:40,867 --> 01:06:41,650
So.
1345
01:06:41,700 --> 01:06:42,483
It's you.
1346
01:06:42,533 --> 01:06:43,884
It's you.
1347
01:06:43,934 --> 01:06:44,817
Evidently.
1348
01:06:44,867 --> 01:06:45,817
You can't escape, you know.
1349
01:06:45,867 --> 01:06:46,884
I won't surrender.
1350
01:06:46,934 --> 01:06:48,650
Good, I like a challenge.
1351
01:06:48,700 --> 01:06:51,050
You want to take
over the world.
1352
01:06:51,100 --> 01:06:52,483
I said I like challenges.
1353
01:06:52,533 --> 01:06:53,750
I won't let you.
1354
01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:58,283
You can't stop me.
1355
01:06:58,333 --> 01:07:00,617
Maybe not.
1357
01:07:02,834 --> 01:07:04,450
But I can try.
1358
01:07:04,500 --> 01:07:06,417
I know what you are.
1359
01:07:06,467 --> 01:07:08,250
You've learned the
nearly forgotten secret
1360
01:07:08,300 --> 01:07:10,250
of formula H-73,
1361
01:07:10,300 --> 01:07:12,483
the chemical developed during
the Spanish-American War
1362
01:07:12,533 --> 01:07:16,050
to demoralize the enemy by
causing increased hair loss,
1363
01:07:16,100 --> 01:07:18,750
and increased lima
bean crop yields.
1364
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:21,350
But it had a side effect.
1365
01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:24,517
It turned people into
unfeeling sex crazed zombies.
1366
01:07:24,567 --> 01:07:26,283
Well, it won't work,
because there's more to life
1367
01:07:26,333 --> 01:07:29,383
than sex and pleasure
and smooth skin.
1368
01:07:29,433 --> 01:07:33,383
There's love and
honor and shaving.
1369
01:07:33,433 --> 01:07:34,467
You think so?
1371
01:07:37,433 --> 01:07:40,817
Well, we'll see.
1372
01:07:40,867 --> 01:07:44,500
You might like even sleeping
with your stud Mick.
1373
01:07:45,567 --> 01:07:46,784
I do.
1374
01:07:46,834 --> 01:07:47,617
Uh-oh.
1375
01:07:47,667 --> 01:07:49,216
You won't any more.
1378
01:07:53,767 --> 01:07:55,283
♪ Whoa
1379
01:07:55,333 --> 01:07:58,317
Ow.
1381
01:08:01,066 --> 01:08:03,383
♪ Woke up this morning
with an ache in my head ♪
1382
01:08:03,433 --> 01:08:04,550
♪ Got a little crazy
1383
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,016
♪ Now I'm feelin' half dead
1384
01:08:06,066 --> 01:08:08,583
♪ Drinkin' last night
didn't make it go away ♪
1385
01:08:08,633 --> 01:08:12,050
♪ Should have the same
if I make it today ♪
1386
01:08:12,100 --> 01:08:16,750
♪ I just can't wait till
it makes me numb again ♪
1387
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:18,917
♪ When I go back and then
1388
01:08:18,967 --> 01:08:22,317
♪ She's my only friend
1389
01:08:22,367 --> 01:08:24,583
♪ Whoa
1390
01:08:24,633 --> 01:08:25,583
♪ Same old me
1391
01:08:25,633 --> 01:08:27,784
♪ It's the same old remedy
1392
01:08:27,834 --> 01:08:29,050
♪ Whoa
1393
01:08:29,100 --> 01:08:30,317
Let her go!
1394
01:08:30,367 --> 01:08:31,483
Not yet, I'm almost there.
1395
01:08:31,533 --> 01:08:32,717
Let her go, or
I'll let you have it!
1396
01:08:32,767 --> 01:08:33,550
What?
1397
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:34,950
That zombie's dangerous.
1398
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:38,250
All God's creatures
have a right to life.
1399
01:08:38,300 --> 01:08:41,183
What makes you think
I'm God's creature?
1400
01:08:41,233 --> 01:08:42,617
Don't quibble.
1401
01:08:42,667 --> 01:08:45,216
Now you, you zombie.
1402
01:08:45,266 --> 01:08:46,850
You get out of here.
1403
01:08:46,900 --> 01:08:47,950
Get out of town.
1404
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,917
Never come here again.
1406
01:08:51,567 --> 01:08:52,650
Next time!
1407
01:08:52,700 --> 01:08:53,533
Count on it!
1408
01:08:56,300 --> 01:08:58,283
Whew.
1409
01:08:58,333 --> 01:09:00,417
Do you know what you've
unleashed on the world?
1410
01:09:00,467 --> 01:09:01,884
The terror, the horror?
1411
01:09:01,934 --> 01:09:03,983
We mustn't raise our
hands against one another.
1412
01:09:04,033 --> 01:09:06,517
We must learn to live
in peace and harmony.
1413
01:09:06,567 --> 01:09:08,550
See what I gotta
work with here, man?
1414
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:09,784
Lovely, just lovely.
1415
01:09:09,834 --> 01:09:11,517
Wait'll they rip
your eyebrows off.
1416
01:09:11,567 --> 01:09:14,000
They never hurt those
that are one with nature.
1417
01:09:15,300 --> 01:09:16,133
Uh-huh, okay.
1418
01:09:18,100 --> 01:09:19,850
Remember, respect one another.
1419
01:09:19,900 --> 01:09:20,717
Yeah.
1420
01:09:20,767 --> 01:09:21,550
Whoa.
1421
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:22,667
Peace at last.
1424
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:33,583
Hard about.
1425
01:09:33,633 --> 01:09:36,283
Hard about to
port, goldang it.
1427
01:09:37,734 --> 01:09:39,517
I told you hard about to port.
1428
01:09:39,567 --> 01:09:41,817
She don't steer like
a ship, you old grunion.
1429
01:09:41,867 --> 01:09:43,050
And you don't
steer like a captain,
1430
01:09:43,100 --> 01:09:44,750
you miserable pool of squid ink.
1431
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:46,583
How was I supposed to
know she'd pitch and yaw
1432
01:09:46,633 --> 01:09:48,450
like a derelict, you rum head?
1435
01:09:51,667 --> 01:09:54,183
Sharon look,
that's the captains' truck.
1436
01:09:54,233 --> 01:09:56,083
It's a total wreck.
1437
01:09:56,133 --> 01:09:57,817
Look at all that yew.
1438
01:09:57,867 --> 01:09:59,250
Who, me?
1439
01:09:59,300 --> 01:10:00,734
Don't start with me.
1440
01:10:02,433 --> 01:10:05,550
Oh, that's
one load that won't get
1441
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:07,900
to that tight-ass Sharon Talbot.
1443
01:10:11,166 --> 01:10:15,517
I will not sleep
until these, these--
1444
01:10:15,567 --> 01:10:16,550
Zombies.
1445
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:17,517
Are laid--
1446
01:10:17,567 --> 01:10:18,350
They'd like that.
1447
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:19,400
To rest.
1448
01:10:21,500 --> 01:10:22,333
Are you with me?
1449
01:10:23,533 --> 01:10:24,650
Me?
1450
01:10:24,700 --> 01:10:25,533
A barber?
1451
01:10:26,467 --> 01:10:27,333
Need you ask?
1452
01:10:29,333 --> 01:10:31,100
You know what this
means, don't you?
1453
01:10:32,433 --> 01:10:34,417
We'll never be able
to sleep soundly,
1454
01:10:34,467 --> 01:10:36,517
never be able to trust anyone.
1455
01:10:36,567 --> 01:10:39,016
Always on the run,
always on the lookout.
1456
01:10:39,066 --> 01:10:41,483
Never a home or a
life of our own.
1457
01:10:41,533 --> 01:10:43,834
You mean, we're
going to Los Angeles?
1458
01:10:45,467 --> 01:10:47,983
It'll be a totally
different way of life.
1459
01:10:48,033 --> 01:10:49,617
And we can charge it.
1460
01:10:49,667 --> 01:10:51,350
All right!
1463
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:10,950
Wow, Beverly Hills.
1464
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:14,934
Land of
silicone and liposuction.
1465
01:11:16,033 --> 01:11:18,200
A perfect hideout for Yvonne.
1466
01:11:22,467 --> 01:11:25,517
Whoa, that guy
just missed me by a hair.
1467
01:11:25,567 --> 01:11:26,850
Look out,
Sven, these people
1468
01:11:26,900 --> 01:11:29,383
are hairless and brainless.
1469
01:11:29,433 --> 01:11:30,600
Beverly Hills.
1470
01:11:35,367 --> 01:11:37,517
Sharon, slow down.
1471
01:11:37,567 --> 01:11:39,817
Look, that trolley's
out of control.
1472
01:11:39,867 --> 01:11:41,083
My God.
1473
01:11:41,133 --> 01:11:43,300
Ahh, no brakes!
1474
01:11:44,667 --> 01:11:48,216
God Teddy, your
legs are so smooth.
1475
01:11:48,266 --> 01:11:50,533
Did you get them,
you know, done?
1476
01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:53,200
Chez Yvonne on Rodeo.
1477
01:11:54,533 --> 01:11:56,600
Everybody gets done there.
1478
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:00,917
It has opened up
a whole new world
1479
01:12:00,967 --> 01:12:05,600
of friction free ecstasy
for me, you know.
1480
01:12:06,900 --> 01:12:07,983
Towels, ladies?
1481
01:12:08,033 --> 01:12:13,650
Oh, life is
finally worth living,
1482
01:12:13,700 --> 01:12:17,266
without all that
pesky body hair.
1483
01:12:26,700 --> 01:12:29,033
What's that address again?
1489
01:13:24,133 --> 01:13:27,083
Excuse me, the
garden is outside.
1490
01:13:27,133 --> 01:13:29,400
We're not here
for hedge trimming.
1492
01:13:36,166 --> 01:13:39,150
Ladies and gentlemen,
this salon is closed.
1493
01:13:39,200 --> 01:13:40,617
Closed?
1494
01:13:40,667 --> 01:13:43,383
Do you know the contagion
that this waxing process
1495
01:13:43,433 --> 01:13:45,317
is wreaking on the country?
1496
01:13:45,367 --> 01:13:48,383
You may not have to shave your
legs for six months, sure,
1497
01:13:48,433 --> 01:13:50,517
but the cost is incalculable.
1498
01:13:50,567 --> 01:13:51,983
First time is free.
1499
01:13:52,033 --> 01:13:53,983
Your first time
is well beyond free.
1500
01:13:54,033 --> 01:13:55,884
You lose all
feeling, all emotion.
1501
01:13:55,934 --> 01:13:58,350
You become obsessed with
satiating your deepest desires
1502
01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:00,116
at the cost of your fellow man.
1503
01:14:00,166 --> 01:14:02,250
And that might be all
right for you people
1504
01:14:02,300 --> 01:14:06,400
here in Beverly Hills, but
not for the rest of America.
1506
01:14:14,900 --> 01:14:17,983
And on top of all that, you
lose your desire to shop.
1510
01:14:26,133 --> 01:14:28,350
Mom, Mom, are you okay?
1511
01:14:28,400 --> 01:14:31,784
Stop with the
dust, Sharon, jeez.
1512
01:14:31,834 --> 01:14:35,433
Oh, how could I
have been so blind?
1513
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:38,583
Oh Mom.
1514
01:14:38,633 --> 01:14:39,983
Mom, listen to me.
1515
01:14:40,033 --> 01:14:41,817
Go home now, leave.
1516
01:14:41,867 --> 01:14:45,450
If you, if you listen to us,
we can help you, set you free.
1517
01:14:45,500 --> 01:14:48,400
It was kind of
fun dear, but now,
1518
01:14:49,633 --> 01:14:51,116
stubble.
1519
01:14:51,166 --> 01:14:54,050
Just leave this all behind,
it's a bad dream, that's all.
1520
01:14:54,100 --> 01:14:56,583
It did have its
compensations, though.
1521
01:14:56,633 --> 01:14:57,467
Mom!
1522
01:14:58,300 --> 01:15:01,450
Oh, oh.
1523
01:15:01,500 --> 01:15:03,383
Oh God,
that feels so good.
1524
01:15:03,433 --> 01:15:04,817
Rats.
1525
01:15:04,867 --> 01:15:06,050
Oh baby, oh
baby, faster, faster, faster,
1526
01:15:06,100 --> 01:15:07,233
get it in, oh, oh.
1528
01:15:10,133 --> 01:15:10,917
Oh baby.
1529
01:15:10,967 --> 01:15:12,467
Get it in, oh, oh.
1531
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:19,317
Hey babe.
1532
01:15:19,367 --> 01:15:20,200
Ooh.
1533
01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:24,050
Remember, the real
Mick died months ago.
1534
01:15:24,100 --> 01:15:25,650
Only his follicles.
1535
01:15:25,700 --> 01:15:27,083
Remember the
good times we had?
1536
01:15:27,133 --> 01:15:28,116
Remember how they ended.
1537
01:15:28,166 --> 01:15:29,550
They can come again.
1538
01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:32,884
You and me and some
recreational underwear.
1539
01:15:32,934 --> 01:15:33,900
It's all possible.
1540
01:15:35,367 --> 01:15:36,200
Bet me.
1544
01:15:46,333 --> 01:15:47,166
Let's bet.
1545
01:15:48,800 --> 01:15:49,800
What about Yvonne?
1546
01:15:50,867 --> 01:15:51,734
My God, Sharon!
1547
01:15:53,100 --> 01:15:53,934
You saved me.
1548
01:15:55,133 --> 01:15:57,450
I mean, til now, I was
just a stud, right?
1549
01:15:57,500 --> 01:15:59,317
How can I thank you?
1550
01:15:59,367 --> 01:16:00,917
You putz!
1551
01:16:00,967 --> 01:16:02,850
I told you not to go to
the old Augusta house,
1552
01:16:02,900 --> 01:16:05,150
and off you go,
two-timing me with some
1553
01:16:05,200 --> 01:16:08,083
artificially maintained
motorcycle mama.
1554
01:16:08,133 --> 01:16:09,483
I couldn't help it.
1555
01:16:09,533 --> 01:16:10,917
It's my hormones.
1557
01:16:12,033 --> 01:16:13,600
How's that for hormones?
1558
01:16:14,567 --> 01:16:16,684
You were pretty hard on him.
1559
01:16:16,734 --> 01:16:18,684
Zombie or no zombie,
1560
01:16:18,734 --> 01:16:20,983
wax or no wax,
1561
01:16:21,033 --> 01:16:23,600
nobody two-times me.
1562
01:16:24,567 --> 01:16:26,083
I'll remember that.
1563
01:16:26,133 --> 01:16:30,150
Yes, so will I.
1564
01:16:30,200 --> 01:16:33,216
So, you've been busy, I see.
1565
01:16:33,266 --> 01:16:35,216
Extremism in the
battle to rid the world
1566
01:16:35,266 --> 01:16:38,183
of your infestation is no vice.
1567
01:16:38,233 --> 01:16:43,083
Oh, my my my, even you
hairy ones can wax poetic.
1568
01:16:43,133 --> 01:16:45,917
You ain't seen
nothing yet, lady.
1569
01:16:45,967 --> 01:16:47,166
Ciao, Yvonne.
1571
01:16:49,433 --> 01:16:50,383
Again.
1573
01:16:51,266 --> 01:16:52,417
Again.
1575
01:16:53,967 --> 01:16:56,100
Running a little short
of your precious shavings?
1576
01:16:57,600 --> 01:16:59,183
Take them.
1577
01:16:59,233 --> 01:17:00,834
Now what was that, ciao?
1581
01:17:10,967 --> 01:17:13,283
Dusted them
zombies, by cracky.
1582
01:17:13,333 --> 01:17:15,517
A-yup, shaving grace.
1583
01:17:15,567 --> 01:17:17,517
I told you I caught
the breath of
1584
01:17:17,567 --> 01:17:19,650
an evil wind in this town.
1585
01:17:19,700 --> 01:17:21,583
If it ain't them
zombies, it's barnacles.
1586
01:17:21,633 --> 01:17:23,750
Ain't no speed rake
gonna loosen 'em up
1587
01:17:23,800 --> 01:17:26,317
when they're that tight
on a feller's ass.
1588
01:17:26,367 --> 01:17:28,083
Explains why these
folks walk so damn funny.
1589
01:17:28,133 --> 01:17:29,016
A-yuh.
1590
01:17:29,066 --> 01:17:33,517
Nice try, Talbot.
1591
01:17:33,567 --> 01:17:36,784
But as usual, you didn't
make it to the climax.
1594
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:45,250
No brakes!
1595
01:17:45,300 --> 01:17:47,717
You've been saying
that since San Francisco!
1598
01:17:58,500 --> 01:18:00,667
Feels so strangely
unsatisfied.
1599
01:18:01,800 --> 01:18:03,533
It's the anti-climax,
that's all.
1600
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:11,784
I'll uh, meet you back
in Daneport, Sharon?
1601
01:18:11,834 --> 01:18:12,667
Perhaps, Mick.
1602
01:18:15,133 --> 01:18:17,633
Now go on, get going before
I wax you a bald spot.
1603
01:18:23,400 --> 01:18:24,266
How long,
1604
01:18:26,266 --> 01:18:27,433
how long til people
1605
01:18:28,367 --> 01:18:29,433
listen to us,
1606
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:33,734
til they understand
there's no sin in shaving,
1607
01:18:35,367 --> 01:18:36,800
til they realize the danger?
1608
01:18:38,033 --> 01:18:39,400
As long as it takes, I guess,
1609
01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:41,600
until they realize
1610
01:18:42,600 --> 01:18:44,850
it's no sin to see a barber.
1612
01:18:56,266 --> 01:18:58,350
I'm telling you, there's
no one under there.
1613
01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:00,183
There's this cape,
1614
01:19:00,233 --> 01:19:04,216
and this gooey, waxy stuff.
1615
01:19:04,266 --> 01:19:06,617
You sure there was a
rider on this bike?
1616
01:19:06,667 --> 01:19:09,983
I mean, maybe the bike
was just parked here.
1617
01:19:10,033 --> 01:19:14,150
I mean, she ain't here
now, unless she was
1618
01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:16,583
made out of wax or something.
1622
01:19:33,433 --> 01:19:37,317
♪ We're wheelin' our
bikes everywhere ♪
1623
01:19:37,367 --> 01:19:41,116
♪ Comin' to wax off your hair
1624
01:19:41,166 --> 01:19:44,550
♪ So you all better beware
1625
01:19:44,600 --> 01:19:46,483
♪ 'Cause we're hot wax zombies
1626
01:19:46,533 --> 01:19:48,517
♪ We're almost there
1627
01:19:48,567 --> 01:19:52,383
♪ We're the hot wax
zombies on wheels ♪
1628
01:19:52,433 --> 01:19:56,250
♪ Hot wax zombies on wheels
1629
01:19:56,300 --> 01:19:59,983
♪ Hot wax zombies on wheels
1630
01:20:00,033 --> 01:20:03,700
♪ Hot wax zombies on wheels
1639
01:21:10,900 --> 01:21:11,934
Again, again.
1640
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:17,917
Running a
little short on shavings.
1641
01:21:17,967 --> 01:21:19,150
Maybe.
1642
01:21:19,200 --> 01:21:19,983
Pity.
1643
01:21:20,033 --> 01:21:21,183
Cut.
1644
01:21:21,233 --> 01:21:22,216
Aw, shit.
1647
01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:40,517
That was a hit.
1648
01:21:40,567 --> 01:21:42,617
I will now play another
hit, though I don't know
1649
01:21:42,667 --> 01:21:44,900
why anybody listens
to this mierda.
1650
01:21:47,567 --> 01:21:49,850
Where is everybody?
1651
01:21:49,900 --> 01:21:51,250
Don't they want
to get rid of that
1652
01:21:51,300 --> 01:21:53,467
pesky body hair forever.
1653
01:22:00,500 --> 01:22:01,517
Damn it.
1655
01:22:03,433 --> 01:22:04,517
Thanks, Sven.
1657
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:07,717
That ought to keep the couches
of Beverly Hills shrinks
1658
01:22:07,767 --> 01:22:09,383
warms for years after this.
1660
01:22:11,767 --> 01:22:13,784
All I need now
are some compliant,
1661
01:22:13,834 --> 01:22:17,166
nubile hairless 18-year-old
girls to make my life complete.85398
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