Original subtitles

- Previously on...

- I need some water. Is this water?

- No, honey, it's all vodka.

[ indistinct conversations ]

- There you go. It's over. - It's over.

- Let the curse be lifted. We're done.

- Do you wanna be a legend, or do you wanna be a fairy tale?

- What do you think? - Oh, [bleep] the fairy tale.

Be a legend.

- John never misses the opportunity to make...

- To [bleep] it up. - To make a bad decision.

- That's hot.

- I feel like John sometimes makes lifestyle choices

that he knows I don't like.

- Richard loved it here. Who doesn't love it here?

Yeah, I do, too.

- Ever since Dorinda's been renovating

all that damage in the Berkshires,

it's really dredging up a lot with her.

She's, like, talking about Richard nonstop.

- Everything I do with you, Tinsley...

- No. Really? - ...is not good.

- I am so sick and tired of people talking for me

and making a judgment about me. I am so sick of it!

♪♪♪♪♪

- I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong.

♪♪♪♪♪

- I'm no one's accessory. I'm the whole lifestyle brand.

- I don't need to find love. I love myself.

- I may float like a butterfly, but I sting like a bitch.

- Life isn't a fairy tale,

but I'm hoping mine's the exception.

- Raise the curtain. Lower the lights.

I'm taking center stage in my life.

♪♪♪♪♪

- Yes! That's what I'm talking about right there!

Hey, Tinsdale.

- [ squeals and grunts ]

- Yeah, that's what I'm talking 'bout.

- Yes! - Now you're a New Yorker.

- [ laughs ]

[ horn honks ]

- Hello! - Hey, how are you?

- How beautiful's the High Line? - Mmm. It's gorgeous.

You know what? I never get down here.

- Hi! How are you? - Hi! How are you?

- How you doing? We're good. - How are you, honey? Mwah.

Look at you. You got faux fur already.

That's the perfect jacket to go with your gray jumpsuit

that Sonja sent you... - I know, right?

- ...for the fashion show, right?

♪♪♪♪♪

- [ laughing ] - Aah!

- I was gonna surprise you and grab you.

- Like a stalker. - Oh, my God, honey.

- That's crazy. Oh, my God. [ laughs ]

- But then you turned around and got to see me.

- I like this area because it's quiet. It's, like, not...

- It's very pretty.

♪♪♪♪♪

- So how you doing, kid? - I'm, um, I'm pretty good.

I'm good.

- Okay, so we went from pretty good to good to okay.

- No, I... I'm good. - You're good?

- Yeah. - Not great?

- I'm not great, but I'm good. - Okay. When you were...

- I'm better... I'm better than I was the last time I saw you.

- Listen to me. Come over here. Come over here.

- [ crying ] - I want to...

- Honey, are you okay?

- I'm just really overwhelmed by a lot of stuff right now.

- Why do you have to? - I wanna live my best life,

and my best life has to be in a certain box.

- What's your best life? Being in the greeting card business?

- I'm in a much better place right now. I'm single.

You know, I'm pa... - You like being single?

- I like that I'm... I like... Yeah. Well, no.

I don't like being single.

- Okay, make up your mind. - No.

Martin is really not easy to talk to,

but he forces you to sort of fight him.

You know, you're fighting him with your fists,

and you're fighting him with your words,

and he really makes me honest with myself.

- So you're... got all these women around you, right?

And do they instigate you?

- This girlfriend and I have had this, like,

tension over nothing, and she is saying

that I'm not sharing or being open and honest

when that's all I'm doing.

- Who's the one you have the problem with?

- My friend Dorinda. - What's her name?

- Dorinda.

- Dorinda? - Yeah.

- Where do you guys get these names from?

- [ laughs ] I don't know. - How do you...

- I don't know. I have no... I don't know.

I just really don't know where to go with Dorinda,

because I don't like arguments with friends.

Like, I just want it to be pleasant,

and I don't really feel like she wants that.

I think that she likes to fight. I don't.

So I just don't... I... It's frustrating.

It's all frustrating.

- Did you get into a fight last night?

- No, not physical, but it was just like a, you know...

- Well, I didn't think so.

Yeah, I doubt you've been physically fighting with her.

- Yeah. - But a verbal fight?

- Yeah, it was pretty verbal, yeah.

- And what happened?

- Now I don't know what exactly happened

between Tinsley and Dorinda last night,

but they were, like, almost, like in a screaming fight.

- Everything I do with you, Tinsley...

- No! Really? - ...is not good.

And I... Yes! - You attacked me and said

that I had this thing that I didn't have and that I wasn't

being honest and open. - I've been trying to progress...

- You haven't! - Yes, I have!

- I've just had it with Tinsley. I-I tried.

- Where are you... - I'm done. I'm done.

- No, I'm wondering where you're at now with her.

- I'm done with it. I don't care. I mean, you know me.

I could eat Tinsley... She's like a mint in my mouth.

Gone! You know what I mean? - "Gone." [ laughs ]

- She's a mint in my mouth. - Well...

- Oh, yeah, I guess it kinda taste kinda good...

- Keep that in mind when you're talking to her.

- I don't have to keep anything in mind.

- 'Cause I think that she's, like, she's gotta put a...

She puts a wall up 'cause she's like...

I'm not interested. - Well, I mean,

but you have been. - No, I don't.

- For someone who's not interested in Tinsley,

Dorinda spends a lot of time talking about her.

- I'm not interested. - But you had...

- There is no "there" there in my mind.

- I wanted to talk to her by myself,

'cause that's the problem.

They all jump in, and I can't ever get my, like...

I can't say anything.

- Come on. Let's see what we got.

So let's do this. I'm "Dorita," all right?

And I'm "Dorita," and you're gonna... we're gonna box.

You ready? How would you fight her? You would be...

- Oh, "Dorita." I was like, who are you talking about? Okay.

- "Dorita"? - Dorinda. Okay, okay.

- Dorinda? When did she change her name?

- Okay. Dorin... [ laughs ] Okay. - Okay, go.

- Okay. Uhh! [ bell rings ]

What am I doing? What am I trying to do?

- Well, apparently you look like you're hitting me in the nuts.

- I don't... Okay, I'm not gonna do it.

Sorry. Not down there.

- You jammed me in the... ing...

- Sorry. [ laughs ] - Come on.

Not down there. Okay, okay, okay.

- Right there. There.

- I don't wanna hit you in the head.

- You have to, 'cause I'm gonna hit you in the head,

and I don't feel bad about it. - No! No, you'd better not.

I'm gonna hit you in the head. - What? Oh! Aah!

All right. Aah! - Come on.

- I will... Come on. Wait, wait.

♪♪♪♪♪

- Take her like a doormat.

- I'm not unhappy.

- Well, why were you crying the last time about her?

- 'Cause I was just feeling confused.

- Tinsdale. - I'm done.

- Tinsdale. - Done.

Done. - So you give up then? You quit?

- I gave up. - Okay.

- She is a type with a mother who's overbearing, all right?

- Yep, you're right. - From the South.

And you just have to accept her for what she is.

- That's right, and that's what I decided.

- I just think sometimes Dorinda

is, like, a little too hard on Tinsley. I mean...

- Yeah. - I think the fact that Tinsley

stopped seeing Brian, um, you know, 'cause normally

she would just, you know, keep going and keep trying

to make that work. - Yeah.

- The fact that she stopped it...

- Yeah. - And she realized

it wasn't working, I think that's really great.

- Me, too.

- I think that's a big strive for her.

- And I see... I see big changes in Tinsley.

I mean, she's so free now. - Yeah.

- And she's really comfortable with herself.

- I don't know. Something must go... be going on with, um...

- Dorinda. It's a little deeper. - Dorinda.

I don't wanna use the word "jealous,"

but I'm gonna use the word "jealous."

Tinsley's always been taken care of,

and Richard used to take care of Dorinda.

I think she misses that life,

and Tinsley pretty much has that life.

I just think we're all kind of in the same place right now,

if you think about it. We're all in a place where

we have a void of a partner in our life... a partner.

Like, I really believe that... No, I know Dorinda

missed having Richard... Having a partner to help her

in the Berkshires. - Hands-on guy.

And then whenever John tries to help her with something,

she's like, "I got this." It's just...

It's a different relationship, and it's working.

They've been together for seven years,

but she may have missed... It was cut short with Richard...

- Right. - ...that lavish,

"I'm married to a banker" lifestyle.

- Right.

What can I say? Apples and oranges

when it comes to Richard and John.

Richard was a graduate from Harvard,

on the board of Harvard.

I mean, what is John... I don't even know

if he even graduated college.

He's not on the board of anything.

John doesn't take care of her. I mean, she has to

take care of John, for goodness' sakes.

Um, so I mean... he's not... Yeah, no.

- We're all sort of, like, drifting, I think right now.

We're not sure what our next step is.

You know what you want. You know what you like.

You know. Nobody else.

Do whatever the [bleep] you wanna do.

- Do I know? - That's it.

[ bell ringing ] You do know.

- But I don't know by now. - You do know. You know.

You've known all along. Let me tell you something.

You are a... ing legend.

There will never be another Tinsdale, ever.

- 'Cause there's not one. It's Tinsley.

♪♪♪♪♪

- Coming up...

- You know what? - You were not in a good place.

- She wants a... ing bitch, she got a... ing bitch,

didn't she? And I served it warm.

♪♪♪♪♪

[ doorbell rings ]

- Coming.

Coming, coming.

[ coughs ]

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. Look at you.

You look beautiful. - How you doing?

- Look at me. - I feel so bad for you.

- Thank you so much for coming over.

Luann and I... we've shared similar obstacles in our lives.

There's a kindred spirit connection between me and her

that I felt when I met her.

- I've never been here. - I appreciate it.

- Welcome. [ laughs ] - Wow. I love the building.

- It's so good, isn't it? The neighborhood is...

- I mean, you can tell a lot by just the corridors, darling.

- Right, exactly. The doormen are, like...

- The molding, the high ceiling.

- The doormen are, like, my, like, surrogate fathers.

They're the best. - Are they?

I brought you some food 'cause I know...

- Thank you. - I'm starving, and...

- Okay, good. Let's eat. Let's eat.

- And I thought you might be hungry, so...

- Cool. - Should I bring it

into your kitchen? - Over here, over here.

- I don't think that table's big enough. [ laughs ]

- This is my little... This is my little setup.

- I don't think that table will be big enough.

- No, I'll make it... No, I'll make it work.

I'll make it work. Come on. - For all the food

that I brought, I... - I'll make it work.

- Do you really wanna know? [ laughs ]

Church steeple. Amazing.

Hmm. Really cool.

- This is my extravagant dining room.

- [ laughs ] - [ laughs ] Right?

- What more do you need? It's just the two of you, right?

- Eat my 10-course meals. Yeah, exactly.

- Oh, boy. Um...

[ laughs ] Let's see.

Um...

- And this is my little... My little area.

My... My bedroom, whatever it is. - Oh, nice.

- Since I'm, like, never even in, but...

- Oh, cool. Great. - I gave her the full room,

'cause I'm like, you know what? - Then where is...

Oh, she's got the bigger one. - She's got the big bed.

She's got the big bed. I have all her closets, though.

- Oh. - But she's...

only here half the time.

- Right. Yeah, so you work, you know?

- Exactly. - That's how we live.

Uh... [ chuckles ]

That's how we do it in the city.

I love how humble she is.

- I'm trying to bring these ivy plant... Oh, this is...

I have this down here. - Ohh.

- I've been... I know. I have...

I've... I've been watering them now so much because look,

I, you know, it's just...

- Ah, well, you got... - I'm trying to bring it...

- You seriously have a green thumb.

[ laughter ]

- Most people come to my apartment

and are pretty impressed with it,

unless you're in the 1%, which I'm not,

and there's no shame in that.

Sometimes it's not about the size. It's about the vibe.

So I heard you had a drink at the comedy show.

- You know... - What's going on with that,

by the way? - Oh. [ chuckles ]

Oh, it's... it's... I thought it was water.

- Yeah. - And I was thirsty.

So I took a big sip of it, and it was vodka.

And I was like, oh, okay.

And so I took two sips of it. - Right.

- Or three, and then I went onstage.

And... you know what? It was like, I was okay.

I never really had a big problem with alcohol

other than falling into a bush

on a crazy girls' trip in Mexico.

- Right. - Whoops. [ laughs ]

[ laughter ]

Oh, my God. Luann, are you okay? - Yeah.

- You fell in the bushes?! [ laughs ]

- I just feel like if I wanna have a drink,

I'm in... at a point where I can do so if I want to.

I'm not on probation anymore, so...

- That's how I feel, too. - Yeah.

- Look, I mean, for years, I didn't drink,

and I'm like, this is crazy that I've been told that

this thing right here... - Yeah.

- ...is the end of it. My death is in this bottle.

I don't believe that.

I've been through hell while not drinking,

being overmedicated, being in toxic relationships,

all this and that.

I'm pretty sure the glass of wine is gonna be fine for me.

- There's many forms of self-sabotage.

- Right? So and I'm like, I'm... I don't believe that.

You're told that, "Hey, this drink right here...

You have no control over it." That's not empowering.

And that's bullsh..., because this is just a drink.

What's it gonna do?

I hate these things.

1985 is gone!

The Morgan... ing yacht has sailed!

Like, I am in such a different place now than I was...

- Right.

- ...when I stopped drinking in 2009.

- Right. - I mean, beyond.

I've done so much self-work and, you know, and all of that.

- I just feel like, you know what, Lu?

Give yourself a break. Give yourself a break. Don't...

- Seriously. - Don't listen to anybody.

I'm just listening to myself... - Good.

- Which is it feels nice, you know,

to think that I can now, you know,

give myself permission to say,

"I'm gonna have a glass of wine with you girls."

- I know. - Or two.

- Yep. - I want two, but I'm,

you know, I have that sense of control now,

which I didn't before. - Right.

- I'm somebody who lives moment by moment,

and the moment was that I wanted to have a vodka soda, so I did,

and it wasn't a big deal.

That's it. I'm taking off my life jacket,

and I'm getting in the pool with the ladies,

and I'm gonna swim. I'm not sinking. I'm swimming.

- Did you see "Page Six," by any chance?

On... I think it was... - Oh, yeah.

- Yeah. - Somebody showed it to me,

about well, you know what? I texted Dorinda.

- And?

♪♪♪♪♪

- Hello there, lady. - Hi. How's it goin'?

You look nice. - You look so sweet.

You look so... Is this park...

- We're in a good place? - [ laughs ]

Look what I'm reading right now. I'm sure you've read it,

like everyone else.

- I heard you're back on the market.

- No. - Does John know?

- It's... - Oh, my God.

- The side of you... - The most beautiful picture.

- Well, look at it. I look great, don't I?

- John looks great, by the way, too. I mean, jeez. [ laughs ]

"According to 'Page Six, '"...

- Both: "Dorinda's taking a break..."

- "From her long-time boy..." Who planted this?

Do you think Ramona did? No, she wouldn't.

- Come on, fess up. - The breakup with John is sad.

I mean, it's terrible, but I also know that I have to do

what's best for me now that I've realized

that my expectation levels have grown.

This is what I want now. This is what I need.

And I need to find the right partner

that's willing to be engaged in that,

and I don't think that's bad. I think that's honesty.

I love John, and I'll always love John,

and there's no big fight, but, um...

- Good. - I feel bad because, you know,

John... John feels ter-terrible 'cause we love each other.

- Right. - And I-I love him,

and I-I don't know what will come of it.

I just know that I... Don't you feel, too,

like you're growing so fast?

- The need for John has kind of dropped off.

When Dorinda's husband died... - Yeah.

- ...he was there to pick up the pieces.

She has so much love for this person who helped her...

- Helped her get through this. - ...in such a bad...

- And, yeah, I mean... - ...time of her life, you know?

And John was there, and listen, this is nothing against John.

- Right. - You know, John is John.

But I just don't... feel like...

I feel like Dorinda's outgrown him.

Was I surprised when I found out about Dorinda and John?

Not really. But it's weird to read it in "Page Six."

- I don't know a lot about John, but what I will say

is that I know a hell of a lot more

about Dorinda's late husband Richard,

so what does that say?

- Well, now she's single like the rest of us.

- I knew this was coming. I knew it before she knew it,

so I wasn't surprised.

- It's a little hypocritical that I'm finding out about,

you know, John and Dorinda breaking up through "Page Six"

and not through Dorinda, you know, the person

that, you know, shares so much and is so open.

You know, it's this big deal about sharing

and how come I didn't hear about it, Dorinda?

I said to my mom the other day, walking,

"I wanna be super selfish with myself."

- Do it. You need it. What... we were just saying that

the other day... we need to take care of ourselves now.

- I don't know if I ever... - We don't have time to be

worried if our boyfriends are out at a party without us.

- That's it, and I do that. - Yeah, you like to dress up.

- I need a house cat right now,

and he wants to be an outdoor cat.

- [ laughs ] - And if the door opens up

a little bit, just like an outdoor cat...

[ makes whooshing sound ]

And I'm like, kitty, kitty, kitty!

- [ laughs ] - Hello, kitty!

Kitty, come home!

My kitty's gonna stay home. - [ laughs ]

Closed for business, even. For now.

- We should really do something for Dorinda

to take her mind off of all this.

- That'd be great.

- Let's get the hell out of Dodge.

There's, like, um, this place that I know about

where you can go apple picking. - That'd be so cute.

- Not that we're gonna be picking apples.

- I know. Pumpkins, too.

- But I thought the maze could be fun.

I think I'm gonna take full advantage of this breakup.

And I thought, "Let's go be kids.

Take a hayride and just forget about the city for a day."

And maybe we gotta get you a bigger coffee table. [ laughs ]

- No, but I don't wanna take up too much, like,

you know what I mean? - Get a little wider.

- Maybe a little wider. Just a little.

- Just so we can put the sushi on it.

- I know. [ laughter ]

[ coughs ]

- Coming up...

- What's going on with John is...

♪♪♪♪♪

- I came prepared.

I've got the sweater. I've got the makeup.

I got the pills. - What do we got going on here?

Wow! This looks really good, Luann.

- Hey, girls. - We hear Ramona

before we see her.

♪♪♪♪♪

- Hello. Good morning. - Hi.

- How are you? - Hi. Hi.

- Good morning, girls. - Hi.

- They're in the back there.

- Luann, I'm very excited about this trip. Right?

- So tell us exactly what we can expect.

- So as soon as we get to the orchard,

we're gonna have lunch by the pumpkin patch.

- Cute. - There's a corn maze.

- Fun. - There's pumpkin picking.

There's hayrides. Um, there's, um...

- Oh, I wanna do the hayride and wine tasting.

- Wine tasting. - There's winery tasting later.

So there's all kinds of fun things to do.

They have a store where you can get, you know,

get the apple pies and cider doughnuts.

- Oh, yeah, little... - I love that.

- Apple cider. - Apple cider.

- Apple cider doughnuts? - Hot apple cider.

- Apple cider doughnuts. - Yum.

- My favorite. - So good.

- Aren't we lucky? It's like a perfect day.

The weather is gorgeous. - The weather is perfect for it.

- And... And what about this van, okay?

Hello, right? Nice. Yeah, right? - I love it.

I never saw such a gorgeous van before.

- I know, right?

- I'm excited to be with the girls.

I'm not excited to drink more wine.

I really would like to just have fun.

Maybe I'll have a little cider, you know, enjoy the ride,

enjoy the outdoors.

A healthy day.

♪♪♪♪♪

- Where are we? - All right, we're here.

It just said, "Weed Orchards." - Yeah, that's it.

- Okay. - Is it like a weed...

- I think we're here. Look at all the apple orchards.

♪♪♪♪♪

- Here we go. I'm excited. I like a winery.

- Hi. Welcome to the farm. - Thank you.

- So nice to meet you. - Luann.

Thank you for organizing all of this for us...

- Yeah, of course. - ...and having us today.

- We were thinking maybe you guys would wanna do, like,

a cider toast or do you wanna sip the wine right away?

- Wine. - Wine, ladies?

- Wine. - Okay, perfect.

- I mean, come on. It's never too early for wine.

It's called breakfast wine. It's normal.

- Wow, isn't this gorgeous? - I love this!

- Oh, my God. They have a petting zoo.

[ imitating goat bleating ]

Aw.

Look, he's hornier than Ramona.

- Okay, you would be wearing huge diamond earrings and heels

when we're going on an apple picking place.

- I think you're in the same size heel as I am.

- No, I have cowboy boots. - Last I checked,

you have diamonds on. [ laughs ]

- Oh, I forgot I have my rings on.

Well, yours look bigger. You got the big hoops.

- Oh, my God, Dorinda, where'd you get that?

- Let's just each just have one glass of wine today.

[ laughter ] Just one glass.

No more than one full glass. - This is... yes. Yeah.

- Yeah. - I promise.

I'm not really in the mindset to drink today,

but I'm with my girls, and they make the wine here.

I'm gonna miss out on this? Hell to the no.

- All right, girls, lunch is served.

Oh, such a healthy lunch. I love it.

- Right? Everything is great, girls.

- Where do you wanna sit, babe? What a beautiful day.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- To good girlfriends. - Not your phone, Sonja.

- Get the phone out. Sonja, would you stop with the phone?

- Enough, enough. - Obnoxious.

- It's getting obnoxious. - I'm capturing the moment.

- Anybody want salad?

- What's going on with John is...

♪♪♪♪♪

- Of course, Elyse, the instigator

has brought up the subject of John,

which I'm very happy she did, because I wasn't gonna do it.

- You know, it's seven years,

just thinking of doing a little reset.

Nothing big. No big story to report.

I was just saying he'll always have a seat at my table.

But you do change, and I think the thing about me is

is that I have changed so... I met...

The person that John met, you know...

- Was different for you. - Was probably different...

- But you were broken. - ...period.

- You were broken. - You know, but, no,

for the last seven years, you grow a lot,

and this whole thing has been such a good process

'cause it's made me really re-evaluate,

like even with the house, waking up again,

I'm like, now this is mine. - Yeah.

- I'm not even gonna call the house

Richard and mine anymore. That's my house.

- It's your house. - Right.

Going through this whole process with the house flooding,

breaking the rib, and making these decisions about John,

it's actually really allowed me to mourn Richard

for the first time, 'cause now he's not only gone,

Hannah has moved out, and I'm making the decision

to be alone, and it's the first time that I am okay with it.

It's not easy for me to be that person

and tell everybody that kind of stuff 'cause it's...

Obviously, you're opening yourself up to all kinds of

opinion and criticism. - It's called sharing.

- It's hard to talk about... - Like we all do, right.

It's really hard, particularly when people judge you on 'em.

Hi. I call bullsh... Uh, it's called sharing.

You know, the things that you supposedly said

that I wasn't doing, even though I was doing it?

And now you're saying that you don't wanna do it

because you might get judged or something?

You're a total hypocrite.

Different rules for different people, apparently.

Sorry. This sort of, like, resonates a little bit.

- Listen, don't comment.

My gum lasts longer than your relationship, okay?

My gum.

Your gum? - My chewing gum

lasts longer than your relationship.

I didn't know you for the first 50 years.

I don't wanna know you for the last.

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

- Listen, don't comment.

My gum lasts longer than your relationship, okay?

- Your gum?

- My chewing gum lasts longer than your relationship.

- Or the one before that or that? Yeah.

- Yeah, three years. Not only are you not value-added,

you're un-value-added. I don't care what you have to say.

- Oh, really? I'm... - You're invisible.

You're invisible. - You know what? I'm invisible?

- I'm actually not even talking to you.

- Oh, really? I don't really care that much about you

right now because you've been a mean person to me.

You have very... There is no reason...

- You know, Dorinda in the past always would have

these little outbursts of anger, but it's so much worse now.

- Can you guys say one nice thing about each other?

- No. - One. One. Yes, you can.

Yes, you can. You're not that Manichean.

You can say one nice thing. - I think Tinsley needs a nap.

- That's not nice.

- Dorinda's using Tinsley as a punching bag.

Okay, all right, you may not agree

with everything Tinsley's doing, but to go on and on

and be so vicious about it...

I mean, thank God Tinsley's around,

'cause I don't want that to happen to me.

- I really want curly hair.

[ imitates crying ] And I really wanted straight hair!

Oh, my God.

You're invisible.

- If this is Dorinda not interested in Tinsley,

what the [bleep] does Dorinda interested in Tinsley look like?

- You guys, honestly, we have to be holding each other up.

We have to be holding each other up,

not bringing each other down.

- I can't edit myself to dumbness.

I can't edit myself to... - Oh, I'm so stupid.

[ all speaking at once ] - This is absurd.

You seem like you are very insensitive...

- You're correct. - ...to anything that I have

going on in my life. - I'm sorry.

- You also seem like a bully... - I'm sorry.

- ...and, like, a mean person because you know what?

You're judging me and my life. - I'm sorry.

I don't judge you on yours. - I'm sorry.

- See I don't. - Calm down.

- Let me finish! - Oh, I'm scared!

I'm scared, Luann! Will you protect me?

- Physically, stop touching me.

- Did you call her when you heard they broke up?

- We're not speaking that much right now.

- Well, then why are you trying to get in on that conversation?!

- Why are you getting involved

with my relationship with her or whatever it is?

- We didn't get in on the conversation.

- Girls, girls, girls. Can we reel this in?

- Listen, listen to me... - Oh, my God!

- Tinsley, I like... Tinsley, look at me. Look at me.

At this point, as much as I'd like to help Tinsley,

it's hard to understand her when she's speaking

in that high-pitched voice.

You can't take her seriously. I sure as hell don't.

- The point is this. - You need a time-out.

- You sit there and act... - You need a time-out.

- You are judgmental... - Oh, my God.

- ...of my life and my relationship.

What I said was I don't judge you...

- I don't care. - Stop! For somebody who

doesn't care about something that's, like,

really insignificant, you give a lot of sh... about me.

'Cause all you do is talk about me.

- I think I... Okay. - So stop talking about me.

We'll sit here. I won't talk about you,

and you don't talk about me. [ all speaking at once ]

I just... I-I don't...

I just don't like being ganged up on.

It's so frustrating. I just feel like, you know what?

I mean, why even try to talk?

Why even try to be friends sometimes?

'Cause I don't think that they even really care.

- No, yeah, I know. Don't cry.

Don't cry. - [ sobbing ]

- Don't... Don't let her get to you.

Don't let her get to you. - It's not just her!

- Don't let her get to you. - It's everybody!

- I know. It's not... No, believe me. I've been there.

I know. Don't let 'em see you cry.

- It's Sonja. It's Ramona. - Don't let 'em see you cry.

Don't let 'em see you cry. Let's sit here for a second.

Come on. Sit down. Sit down.

- Like, I can't even say anything

without anybody yelling at me that I'm speaking too loudly,

and no one was listening to... [ crying ]

- Well, listen, you can't scream back.

Come here, come here. - No. Luann...

- Command the conversation. - Stop. Luann...

- You know how Obama does it? - Luann, listen!

- He speaks very softly. - No, listen to me.

Can you listen to me, please? - I will.

- So I said the exact same thing that Tinsley said.

You would not have lost it on me.

Stop psychoanalyzing me. - I'm... I'm just trying...

- You don't know our relationship.

Stop. These people know me.

I'm not a mean, unkind, ungenerous person.

- I'm not psychoanalyzing Dorinda.

I'm... I'm frightened of Dorinda.

You don't have to be a psychiatrist to realize

how angry and scary Dorinda is right now.

- [ voice breaking ] I have suffered... suffered

over what Dorinda has said about my ex relationship,

about me as a person, and I am sorry,

but, like, if I'm yelling, it's because I am upset.

- I understand. - I am upset!

- Yeah, well, she's got a lot of anger towards you.

That's for sure. - Why? But, like...

- You don't get it. She should have just sat there

and listened and said something like, "I'm sorry" instead of

"Well, but no one pays attention what I went through the thing,

but, like, people should be considerate towards me."

Be a little compassionate and then tell me that another time,

but she had to throw her two... ing cents in,

knowing it's gonna trigger me.

That wasn't compassion. That was being a... ing bitch.

- I agree. Well, no, that wasn't being compassionate.

- Okay, that was a... ing bitch.

- But you guys are not... You are not in a good place.

- So you know what? You know what?

She wants a... ing bitch, she got a... ing bitch,

didn't she, and I served it warm.

- This group, especially Dorinda,

has been very hard on Tinsley

about not being totally forthcoming,

so I totally understand why Tinsley would mutter this

under her breath, even though if it was me,

I would probably be a little more direct about it.

My heart hurts for her because she's 44,

and she wants a kid. We have kids. We're moms.

That's kind of what...

- My heart bleeds for me 'cause I buried my husband.

- And you know what? My heart bleeds for you, too.

- My heart for hurts for her with a 30-year marriage...

- Yes. - And he left her for...

- My heart hurts 'cause I lost my husband.

- We all have stuff. - My heart hurts for you guys

for all those reasons, too. - Okay, yeah.

- My life was sh... I wanted to die when Richard died.

I didn't have anyone. - You didn't get out of bed!

- You got that man that you loved. You got that.

- And it was terrible days! It was terrible!

It was awful! - I know, I know.

- And I didn't wanna do it. - I know, I know.

- I wanted to crawl into a hole and die!

- Yes. - I find it demeaning

to what all of us had to go through.

- I know you guys have nothing in common. I get it. I get it.

- No, there's a big disgust here.

- Yeah, nothing. It's the one thing.

I don't know. Is there? - And I don't have

the bond with the mother. - Never doubt yourself.

- I'm going through a transition myself.

I don't know if it's the house, the broken rib,

the... the realization... - The John stuff.

- ...that's it's the John stuff. - Yes, that's a big thing.

- The realization that I'm 55 this year,

and this is not what I planned!

This was not the story I wrote!

- To raise this girl. - I did everything right.

I never was dishonest. I was a good mother.

- Aw. - You pay your taxes.

- I was a great wife, and this is what I get in return?

God says, "And this is what you get."

And it's not fair.

- I have nothing but the utmost, like, sympathy for Dorinda

having to bury her husband,

but what does that have to do with Tinsley?

- And after Richard died, you know what I did?

I stopped moving. You know what happened?

I almost became an alcoholic. - I can't imagine having...

- I was like this. Instead of my coffee in the morning,

I was like, "Hello, wine!" - Yeah. Good morning.

- Time to forget! - Yeah.

- Then I realized now I'm taking it out on Hannah.

I looked in the mirror one day, and I said,

"I don't like who's looking back at me."

- 'Cause that's why I... ing like you and I connect with you

because you... ing keep it real,

and you're not lying to yourself,

and you're not lying to anybody else. That's it.

You just are who you are, and that's that.

And I just... ing wish

that you guys didn't hate each other so much, but...

- I don't hate her. - No, I know, I know, I know.

- Here's the thing. I did make a commitment

that I was done with Tinsley,

but listen, you know the old saying...

If you call me a dog, I'm gonna bark every time.

So I barked again. Sorry.

All right, let's go home! Let's go back to New York.

- No, we're going on a hayride.

We're going on a hayride if it kills you.

- Coming up...

- Aah! No!

[ voice echoing ] - Oh, my God.

- No! This is horrible! - [ laughing ]

♪♪♪♪♪

- I can speak on my own. Nobody... ing lets me.

♪♪♪♪♪

Every time I... ing try, I just get squashed down,

so I just literally sit in a damn corner.

- Come on. Here you go. Little one, come on.

What about you?

- Put my tennis shoes on.

Rocks are not working.

- This is the best time I've ever had.

You... You've been emotionally abused, I can tell.

Uh-oh. Oh.

That's me and Tinsley fighting. Look.

- Can I go climb that tree?

- I'm sorry this started off so...

- So I'm just gonna go climb a tree.

- ...abrasive. Yes, totally.

- Go find a tree. - I think we might...

- Are we not allowed to climb them?

- ...not be allowed. We'll be in trouble.

- Who cares? No one's gonna know.

Come on. Let's go. Bitch, we're climbing a tree. Let's do it.

- Do you think that climbing a tree's

gonna solve all my problems right now?

- Yeah, I actually do think it's going to.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

- I'd rather be smoking trees,

but apparently Weed Orchard is just an orchard.

♪♪♪♪♪

Climb that tree, bitch. - Maybe I don't think there's...

- Do it. You could do that in a Giambattista Valli dress, okay?

Ooh, I can see the world.

- Oh, oh.

- Hi. - Do you see me?

- We thought maybe climbing a tree might be therapeutic.

- I thought I was hidden. - It's very good to climb trees.

- We're doing... We're doing therapy.

- Very good. - This is actually really fun.

This is the apple climbing tree therapy.

- God knows I love... the bush. [ laughter ]

- This is, um, full of apples. - What? What'd she say?

- I'm mad at myself for letting them get to me.

I'm mad at myself for breaking down and crying,

and I don't want them to, like,

be able to, like, rile me up so much.

All right. Whew. - [ mouth full ] Mmm. Good.

- All right. - Maybe this will...

- I feel like a whole new person.

- Yeah. - Let's go on the hayride.

- Okay. - Ready?

- Yeah. - Let's find the girls.

- All right.

- Oh! He's the owner, and he's rich.

Look at his shirt. - Oh, Jesus.

[ laughter ] - All right, I got a drink.

She's available.

- Dorinda, look over there with your vibe.

Give him your aura. - No.

- Whoo! - Let's move.

- We all love to have fun. We all love to drink,

but, you know, sloppy during the day

is not my favorite look for Sonja.

Oh, Dorinda, look at the goat up on top of that.

[ goat bleats ]

Hi! Where are you from?!

[ engine rumbling ]

- Whoo-hoo!

- We're on the hayride!

- Here we go! - Hayride!

[ engine rumbling ]

- Go faster.

[ engine rumbling ]

It goes too slow.

This is not a trip. This is a crawl.

- Women of our caliber need to go faster. Faster! Faster!

- Girls, wait. I have to make an announcement.

- Okay. Go ahead. - Okay, the hayride

was just a way to get you off of the luncheon table

so that we could go in the corn maze.

♪♪♪♪♪

- I don't need a maze in my life.

- Come on. - Ramona and I can't do a maze.

- It'll be fun.

- I love it. - We're together.

- No, daddy.

- Who wants to get lost in a maze?

We're all lost in our lives right now anyway.

We don't need to get more lost.

- So we're gonna have you guys split up into two groups.

- These are pot plants, right? - These are eggplant.

- Okay, eggplant? I love eggplant.

- Yeah? - I thought they were pot.

- Ramona, come with me. We're gone.

- How much do you own here? Like, how many acres?

- 47.

47 acres?

Mister, no, sir.

How old are you? - Let me show you the corn maze.

- How old are you? - Let me show you the corn maze.

- Follow me. I'm good at this stuff.

- I can see that. You have a mission. You're on a mission.

- Oh, is it blocking your way? What's going on?

- Stay here. Let me do some "recog-niz-zes-zes."

- I'll tell you that the way that they went is the wrong way.

- So which way should we go? Let's get the...

- Take the right. Take the first right.

- Yep, I'm good. I was right! - All right.

- I bet I'm the fastest person ever.

- Oh, no. Led my team astray,

- Wait. We're at a dead end? We're at a dead end.

- All right. - Elyse, now you take it over.

- Oh, look, Sonja, We take these home for decoration.

- Yeah, put it in my bag, bitch. That's... ing free corn.

I'm friends with the owner. Shut up. All right, here.

You stop whining. It's free food.

- I'm not whining. - Here.

- I think it's this way, you guys.

- Well, no, now we're gonna go with Elyse.

We followed you, and if Elyse doesn't work,

then we're gonna follow me.

- I think this way, Elyse, maybe.

- I don't know where the hell I'm going, but...

Uh, it's probably not that way. It's this way.

- We're almost out? - I don't know.

- This could become very claustrophobic very quickly.

- What's the goal? We get back to the front?

Or we get to, like, another place?

The goal is to get out. - Oh, look, there's a dead end.

- I'm following Luann. We'll never get out.

- Hold on. Don't leave without me.

That's not good teamwork. You left me.

♪♪♪♪♪

- Aah! No! - [ laughing ]

[ voice echoing ] - Oh, my God.

- No! - [ laughing ]

This is horrible! - I'm fertilizing the soil.

- They sell this corn! They don't want pee on their corn!

- Wait, Sonja, be careful.

- Couldn't hold it until we got out? Come on.

- That's not good for your, uh, bladder.

- Well, I don't know how good corn shucks

are good for your bladder, but whatever. Come on.

- Come here! I got a corn stalk between my cheeks!

- [ laughs ] - Come here. Toilet paper.

- Make sure there's no tics on it.

- Toilet paper. Toilet paper. - I'm not wiping you.

- These have tics? - You wipe it. You wipe it.

Here. - There's definitely two Sonjas.

There is Ms. Morgan, who lives on the Upper East Side,

hates tattoos, and just talks about old money.

And then there's turnt up Sonja, which I love.

- That was great. - Yeah, that was cool.

- I love you. We bonded. - We did. We bonded. Mwah.

- I have a feeling that if Ms. Morgan

and turnt up Sonja met,

they probably wouldn't like each other.

- Come on over here! - Why are you telling them for?

- 'Cause we're... Well, we miss 'em.

We miss everybody.

- Well, we'll see them when we get out.

Just lose Tinsley! - Oh, dead end here. Stop that.

- She'd be good as a corn stalk.

- Oh, I think we found it. We got it. Hooray!

We found it! We found it.

Oh, this is the wrong way?

- It's the wrong way. - All right, I'll go first.

Let's do it. Let's do it. You're right. Let's do it.

♪♪♪♪♪

- Listen, the maze was fun. I get it.

Let's just get outta here any way possible.

Time to get back to the maze of drinks.

- Let's go up. This is the thing. Let's go up.

We'll, like, yell at them, "We're here." [ laughs ]

- Hey, girls!

We made it!

- I am here waiting by the ship! It's about to depart!

- No, we came to the main spot!

- The hayride's going back to the winery!

- You're supposed to come here!

- You're supposed to come here! - Listen, girls! Listen to me!

- This is a destination!

- Listen to my voice! That'll give you a guide!

- That's not fair. They cheated more than we did.

- Just let's sit here and wait to be rescued.

- Coming up...

- If your dick can fit through this,

I don't wanna... ing hang out.

- Never touch a small dick. - Thank you, Sonja.

♪♪♪♪♪

- All right, girls, come on. The hayride's going back.

- Hey, mister! Mr. checkered shirt guy.

You're kinda my type. How much money do you make on apple...

- You just peed in his corn maze, okay?

I don't think he's gonna be into you right now.

[ engine rumbling ]

- Thank you for listening to me the other night

when I was weepy... - Of course.

- ...and weak and not... - No, you weren't weak.

You were feeling some pain.

- Sometimes people do as much as they can, but they can't...

You know, I'm not easy either. - No, you know what I think?

This is what I truly believe. You outgrew each other.

Someone said this to me, which made me realize why

the end of my marriage, whether he cheated on me or not

was not important.

What's more important was, like, we were going different ways...

- All right, girls.

- It doesn't make you a bad person.

- No. You just outgrow somebody. - NO.

- I think Dorinda just needs to focus on herself.

She can't worry about John thinks, what other people think,

and I think the reason for John being in her life is over.

It's okay to move on. It's okay.

You change. - And things are hard,

and I'm not a good transitioner. I don't know if it's...

I mean, like, and then your post thing came up.

I was almost ready to hear that someone could say something

that I couldn't say.

Endings are painful, but they're sometimes

good and healthy and needed.

It's so easy just to keep communicating

and keep falling into old habits,

because I have a feeling if I didn't do this,

it would just stay plateaued for 10 years, 15 years,

and then what?

John will always have a seat at my dinner table.

- Of course he will. - You know what I mean?

I never wanna have anyone walk away and say,

"My life was less because I met Dorinda Medley."

Dorinda Lynch. Dorinda Segal. I want them to say,

"My life was better 'cause I met them."

- Why would you even think that, baby?

- 'Cause I just... I want... I don't wanna do anything hurtful

or harmful or...

- Honey, you blessed his life, and he blessed your life.

Don't even think that. That's bad negativity.

- Thank you. - You do. You do.

- Mwah. I love you, sweetie.

- There's something she really needs to work out

that she's not working out,

and you know what? She's in pain,

and guess who's suffering from her pain? We are.

- All right, wine tasting! - Oh, there she is. Okay, here.

- Ladies, you missed my shpiel.

- One more good-looking guy.

- Glad you pay attention. - Okay, stop.

- [ laughs ] - Oh, oh, ladies. Welcome.

- I'm in love with this right now,

and it makes your pussy wetter.

- Gross. You eat blue cheese? That's like the...

That's, like, the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life.

- I think blue cheese does that. - It's so gross.

- Well, there's goes the... ing juice cleanse.

[ laughs ]

- [ mouth full ] My juice cleanse is done.

- It seems to be happening a lot that when Sonja drinks,

she loses it.

She's like a caricature of herself.

- Okay, dry Riesling. Riesling is what New York is all about.

It's focused. It's minerality. - Cheers.

- It's acidic. - I would use it as a lubricant.

- Sonja! - That's inappropriate,

by the way. - It's inappropriate.

- Yeah. Come on. Stop. - What are you doing?

- Just asking.

- Sonja, when was the last time you had sex?

'Cause you're looking very needy.

- I had sex last night. Did you?

- No. - I got pounded last night.

- R.I.P. Rest in peace. I'm dead.

- It's a little hot mess going on over there, but... [ laughs ]

- She's our little hot mess, and she loves men.

- Ugh. Why? Ugh. - [ laughs ]

- Here's the thing. Like, the male body is just

kind of not that good, you know? - I know.

- Like, who wants to look at a naked dude, right? Nobody.

- Me.

- Very few men look good naked.

- Nobody would dare send me a dick pic.

I'm the kind of person, I don't shop online that much.

I like to feel and touch things, so dick pics don't do it for me.

I like the real thing.

[ laughing ]

- If I'm feeling sexual chemistry with a guy,

sometimes it's easier just to ask for a dick pic

because then I know. - But why because...

- If it's a micro penis, I'm not wasting my time.

- Oh, my God. There's doughnuts?

- If your dick can fit through this,

I don't wanna... ing hang out.

- Why is it always about that? It could just be about somebody,

like, loving each other. It doesn't have to be about sex.

- 'Cause you don't wanna break a man's heart.

- If you're a man, though, think about it.

- I don't care. You know, it's hard enough being women.

- Never touch a small dick. - Thank you, Sonja.

- She'll do anything with a small dick.

- And still...

- You don't know my sexual activity, so stop it.

Can you give me a break?

- I've never had this thing, "I need to get laid."

That's not what I think. - Yeah, nor have I.

- No, it's weird. "Oh, I feel horny"...

Those have never been words that come out of my mouth.

- When I wasn't in a relationship, I would feel...

I would sometimes miss being held.

- But what about when you wake up in the morning,

like, who is that person at 8 in the morning,

the lights are up, and you need to go to the bathroom?

- And who's that person when... - Who's that person?

- ...you had a lousy day and... - Yeah.

- ...you just need someone... - It's very different.

- ...to be your friend in the morning.

- Everybody knows how to be sexy at 11:00 at night.

- Right. - It's easy.

- Oh, I do... - Lower the lights.

Put on some lingerie, take, you know, whatever.

- I don't even wanna have sex lately.

- You don't wanna have sex? - No.

- The only thing I want is sex.

- All right, time to go! [ laughs ]

- Luann... - Thank you, Luann!

- Thank you, Luann. - Thank you so much.

- I love you girls.

- Next time on...

- I like crazy people.

Yesterday was just, like, bad crazy.

- Twist and detox that wine. Twist.

- Detox? - Detox, that's right.

- Yeah, some people drank a lot of wine yesterday.

- Did you hear any rumors? - Uh-oh.

- [ laughs ]

Both: This is like a photo shoot.

[ laughter ]

- Whoa. - That's like the car wash.

- That hurts a little. Not so hard!

- You have a pattern. When someone upsets you,

you go for the jugular. - You do it all the time,

so you should recognize it very well.

You hurt my feelings, and I need you always to support me.

- I said to you... I do support you.

- No, you don't. - Dorinda, I'm so sorry

you're so unhappy.

- I'm sorry that there's been so many men in your life

that have come and gone and you can't tell them all this.

- You know what? I think you should just leave. Just leave.

- I love to be kicked out of a good house.

Subtitles Diego Moraes(oakislandtk) www.opensubtitles.org