Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

(classical score playing)

(tapping on wine glass)

(man clears throat) (chattering)

Edward and I just wanted to mention what a special day it was

when Charles came to us to ask permission to marry Fiona.

Yeah, I didn't know this generation asked permission for anything.

(laughter) I remember how completely floored we were.

Yeah, we completely were.

Yeah. He's just the picture of elegance,

and he's so wonderful. And we...

we couldn't wish for anything better for our little girl.

Hear, hear, Charles.

Now, unfortunately, Charles' parents have passed away,

and he has no living relatives.

So, when he asked us, he was not only asking for Fiona's hand,

he was asking for a family as well.

Charles, I just want to say...

we couldn't be happier

than to have you as our son.

To Charles and Fiona!

To a long and happy life together.

(mouths) Thank you. Cheers, darling.

Cheers... to you. To you.

Charles, I'd like to introduce you to Herman Bowen.

He's the state rep for Shelton.

Mr. Bowen. Meet my fiancé, Charles.

Mr. Bowen. Fiona won't stop talking

about how great your speech was to the school board last week.

Oh, that's very nice to hear. I...

It's great to meet you, Charles. You too.

Mind if I just steal her for a second?

Please. Okay.

Excuse me. Excuse us.

♪ ♪ (chattering)

Darling, I thought this was going to be a much smaller affair,

a friends and family kind of thing. This is...

(breathes deeply) I mean, this is...

Hello.

(sighs)

Hello. Mmm.

(sighs) Sorry. (laughs)

So, you're worried about something?

It's just it's bigger than I thought.

You said it was just gonna be a couple of guests.

I know. Well, my dad just thought this'd be better.

Guess it just sort of got away from us.

Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine.

Man: I'm telling you, nobody knows how to run the campaign like he does.

Glen, I know you're pushing Steve Isaacs,

but if you go back and you look at the internals,

he scared of 17% of our independent votes.

I can't let that happen in my district. Charles!

Charles, come here. Edward. Hi. Yes.

I want to introduce you to some people.

This is my future son-in-law. Please shake hands. How are you?

A Pleasure. Fiona!

Great to meet you. Fiona, would you come over here, please?

Nice to be here. Gentlemen.

Now, aren't they the perfect couple?

How can you not vote for this one? (laughter)

Thank you, Dad. Thank you so much.

Here. Let's... Here you go. Oh.

There you go.

Charles, look at the camera. Oh.

There you go. (camera clicks)

Fiona, can I talk to you for a second?

Davis and I have decided

that it would be best if you announced at the steel mill,

in Bridgeport, like I did. Oh. Is that really...

No, no, no, we want you to keep in step

with the Langston brand, honey.

It worked for me, it should work for you, hmm?

(both chuckle)

Okay. Okay?

Okay. All right, sweetheart.

Knock 'em dead.

(mutters) Thanks, Dad. That's really helpful.

Listen, he has your best interests at heart.

Wait. Whose side are you on?

Well, if you put it that way. Mmm.

I can speak your language.

Might I have the opportunity in the next hour or so

to speak to you in tongues?

I think that might be a possibility.

Oh, you think so, do you? Oh, okay. Mmm.

Hey, kids. (chuckles) Ma.

Fiona, your father wants you to give the Montgomerys some attention.

Okay. All right.

Okay, come on. Have fun.

Hey, Reynolds. Do you mind if I try...

Not with your fingers.

Oh.

Hey, chicken. Both: Mwah!

How are you? Okay.

What you doing here?

Charles, don't make me go back outside.

It makes me nervous. Don't be nervous.

It's just me and your sister...

and about a thousand other people. I see your point.

Just-- Just come on. Come out... for me.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

C'mon. C'mon!

C'mon! Come to the party!

Eat some cake. Okay.

Mmm! (chuckles) Mmm. Mmm.

It's good. (mumbles) Oh yeah. It's good.

♪ ♪ (people chattering)

Edward: Well, I'll tell you. You've got a good point.

One more vote. That's your vote. Mm-hmm.

You know, there are my constituents to consider too.

Edward, come on. I never asked you for anything.

I just need you to back me on this one thing.

Mr. Allerton. Please to meet you. Charles Devonshire.

I don't know if you know this,

but you're one of four donors-- just four--

who have contributed to the Langston Family Foundation

since the beginning.

What I find really amazing is that the two of you

are on different sides of the fence politically,

but you don't let that get in the way.

You don't care whether you have the same views, whether you vote the same way.

All that matters is the cause.

I admire you, if that's okay to say.

Well, thanks.

No, thank you.

Would you mind if I stole him for a second? Sorry.

No, of course. Thank you, sir.

Really appreciate it. Okay.

(whispers) Jesus Christ. Thank you.

You know, Fiona never brought anybody home

that I thought was worthy of her,

but I knew that I had found somebody really special when I met you,

and I knew that the two of you could

really hit it off when I put you together.

Thank you, Edward. It means a lot to me.

And you know what we were saying earlier

about you being like a son to us?

Well, that was no joke.

I mean, I've always wanted a son.

Always wanted one, and you're like... the son I never had.

(man shouts) I'm here! I made it! Give us a name.

A little bit of this?

I'm on the list. Marmaduke Balls.

That is really something.

It's no bullshit.

Just-- Just hold that thought.

I just have to-- Just a second.

Man: I did. I rang ahead.

(laughs) No! I'm on the list!

You're not on the list. Get me on the list.

Guys, guys, it's okay. Thank you. Thank you.

William. William, William, William. (laughs)

Here he is. It's really him.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy to see you.

This really isn't a good time, Leonard.

I'm kind of in the middle of something. I'm coming in.

(sniffs) Oh my God. You smell good.

Sort of womanly, but it does work for you.

Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, you've got to go. What is it? Musky.

You've got to go. I'm so happy that I found you.

This is so wonderful. It took me a very long time to get here.

Would I miss my big brother's wedding? You could've called.

I sent a message.

I didn't get the message. You got the message.

No message. I used a psychic link,

because that's what brothers can do. Psychic link?

Yeah. "I'm coming to the wedding."

(laughs) I'm sending you a psychic message right now.

Can you feel what I'm putting out to you?

Yeah, probably will. Yeah. Okay.

Yes, I'll stay. Thank you. Leonard, you've gotta go. You've gotta go.

(laughs) Charles.

Fiona! Fiona. Fiona.

My fiancée. Leonard: Oh!

This is Dean, my old school friend.

Friend from school called Dean. Oh.

You-- You went to Eton?

Yeah, of course he did. Yeah, of course he did.

Pfft! We were both there... at Eton.

Goodness me. I loved that time of my life. Same time. Of course.

'Cause that's when I met...

a man who would change my life forever. Charles.

What is it? Ch...

Charles. Love him.

Here he is, and I haven't seen him in ages.

And you'd call me my name all the time. I would, which is Dean.

Dean. So, it's Charles and Dean, and here we are.

Best pals. What was our catchphrase

that we used to do at school? Do you remember it?

What was it?

Here-- Here's another school day where we're friends.

Ah. That takes me back. Yeah.

Leonard: Every morning we'd start with it. Every morning.

Leonard: And I never tired of it.

I thought none of your school friends could make it.

No, none of his friends, but his best friend,

and that's who I am-- his best friend. Yeah.

Inseparable. Yeah.

He's talked about me, hasn't he? Has he not mentioned me?

Have you not mentioned Dean? Dean the bean?

The stories we got up to.

Yeah. A few questions, no doubt.

Was he a troublemaker? Yes, a little bit.

Guilty. Did he kiss some teachers?

Yeah, one or two. Guilty. Guilty.

Do you remember Mr. Harris? He wasn't happy, was he?

Well... Leonard: Was there any you didn't?

A lot were fired. But it was like-- Look at you two!

Well, she's amazing. Kiss! Kiss him!

Give him a kiss!

Charles, my grandparents would like us to go and say goodbye to them.

Great. Good idea. Would you mind going ahead without me?

I just need... I don't mind. I'm good with grandparents.

...to catch up with ol' Dean for a second.

I smell like them. Give them my apologies,

I just have to... Better check on them.

Don't want them dying on you before the big day.

You know what grandparents are like.

(grunts, laughing) He talks a lot. He talks too bloody much.

Shut your mouth! Okay.

Stop talking! This guy. It's like we're buggered.

Would you just go and apologize on my behalf?

Okay. Send my apologies.

All-- All right. Yeah.

She can stay. I don't mind. I love you.

Leonard, come with me. Come with me. Eh?

♪ ♪

Leonard: Oh, I like this chair.

Leonard, how did you find me?

Oh. (clears throat)

I was at Uncle David's rest home.

The food has really improved. It's good.

And this letter arrived. What's this letter?

It's from you, you're getting married. Congratulations.

Lucky, 'cause I don't know-- My invitation, presumably--

I don't have an address, so don't blame you. Hard to find.

What's this Charles business, by the way?

I see you as William all the way, to be honest. Listen, Leonard.

I've got myself into a sticky situation here.

Mmm! Okay, I started out

All I did was try to get a little bit of money from this family's...

very ineffectual charitable foundation.

Feel the quality of this.

I thought the senator had basically nothing to do with it.

You know, I thought he wasn't gonna be around,

but then he start-- Hey! Hey!

The senator. He starts showing up,

and he seems to find me impressive. Me.

Next thing I know, he's setting me up with Fiona.

Yes. It was him. I didn't say anything to her.

You are blameless here. This is incredible.

(sighs) And I want to tell Fiona.

But I can't. There's no way.

There's like 400 pounds of caviar

that's been ordered for this wedding tomorrow.

I can't walk out of this now.

I'll tell her. Shall I tell her? There's no way.

No. No. I'll tell her.

(sighs) But listen to me. Listen to me, buddy.

Mmm! I'm on the verge of a very, very cushy situation.

It sounds good. You know?

Yes. That's why you need to go,

because I can't have you here. I know you,

and I can't have you fuck things up for me.

Have you seen this house? Yes.

Have you seen this house?

Well, here's what I think, you know, William. Yes, they've got a nice house,

but I've got a nice brother.

I know which one I'd prefer. (laughs)

Leonard. It's the brother.

It's lovely.

Leonard, I'm gonna give you $5,000.

That'd be brilliant, actually.

I should've clarified. I'm gonna give you $5,000

to leave right now.

Huh? I don't want to go.

I just got here. I just got here to see my brother.

I don't want to go. I don't want money. Leonard.

Leonard. No, come on. Can we just move on?

I want to make a fresh start with my brother, so can I stay?

6,000.

Do you actually really want me to go?

Yes, I really want you to go.

I don't believe this. Don't like Charles.

William back, please, 'cause what is this?

You don't want to tell them that I'm your brother,

and you want that I should go and I don't come back.

That's correct. I think that's You just carry on.

I think that's for the best, buddy.

Well...

Okay. I've outstayed my welcome, haven't I, then?

Yes, well, thank you for stopping by.

Leonard is keen to go, actually, so-- Okay, good.

But Dean likes being here.

What? What are you talking about?

Dean loves chairs.

How much is it gonna take for you to fuck off?

You want me to just tell you a price?

Let me pick a price, and then what shall I say?

10,000. $10,000?

Well, I just think you were being a bit ambitious going after a senator

and his daughter.

Lot of fancy-looking people out there. Important types, I bet.

Some expensive suits. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay, okay. I've got some stories to tell.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. $10,000 is fine.

Not a problem. I should tell you, I think Fiona has the hots for me.

I'm gonna write you a check. Stay there.

Don't move. Don't touch anything.

If anybody talks to you-- hey--

especially Fiona, your name is Dean. Hey. Hey.

Fiona. What's your name?

Both: Dean.

We went to school together. We were at school together.

We had a fun time. Best friends.

It was the springtime of our life.

I'm gonna write you a check. Brilliant. Make the check out to Leonard, though,

just in case Dean doesn't have a bank account. Okay.

Leonard: Ready? Just for a few minutes. It'll be fun!

Okay, first one to touch Fiona wins. Go, go, go! (woman laughs)

(Leonard laughs)

It was crazy. It was a whole year he spent just... dressed as a bee,

and he'd go around pollinating all the different flowers,

just trying to help out the gardens of Britain.

Congratulations. And he got a medal,

but it was later rescinded, 'cause it turned out he had used a lot of his own semen.

See you tomorrow. It's true. He used to tuck it in--

Charles, you're a lucky man. Hey, how are you?

Good to see you.

Honest-- Charles. He was great. He had a wig and--

Dean here, he got Carolyn to come out of the house and join us.

Still here, Dean. I know. Right here. Isn't it great?

I was coming to find you.

Well, basically, I got too caught up having so much fun

with my new best friends, Carolyn and Fiona.

That's sweet. She really likes me.

Mmm. Charles, where have you been hiding Dean?

He's so funny. Well, he is funny,

Although, I've got to say I'm surprised, buddy,

'cause I thought you were busy.

I thought you had about 10,000 things to do.

It did seem like that for a while. It did, didn't it?

But the last time I saw you, it was like, "I'm gonna be quite busy,"

Got lots of stuff on. I just thought, "Here I am!"

Right. And you can't put a price on fun, can you?

No. No, you can try...

You can try. ...but you can fail. (laughs)

Well, that's interesting. "Fun," I don't do enough.

Let's have a drink. That's for you. Fun, fun, fun.

I'm not sure Carolyn-- No, have loads, it's free.

Do you know what? I love this woman. Just-- No.

Ease up on it. Charles.

Where did you get her? Got any more?

Get off her. I'm not joking.

I want one of these. Well, you can't have her.

Incredible. Can I keep this one for a bit? Get off her, you knave.

No, don't touch her anymore. Just for a while?

(laughs) I was touching her.

Dean was just saying that you have invited him

to stay with us at the house for the whole weekend.

Did he? Did he say that? Mm-hmm.

Your exact words. Thank you.

Only problem, only slight sting in the tail

is that even though Dean's gonna be here for a couple of minutes, probably,

he does have to go pretty soon,

because he has to catch a flight. Oh, that's too bad.

Oh no. The flight. Of course.

Flight home. Oh.

Back to England. Off you bop. Oh... woe is me.

Back to Blighty. Get out of America.

There I am. I can't-- Well, you know...

It's been canceled.

What's been canceled? The flight has been canceled.

Has it? The flight has been canceled.

Just found out. That's so strange, 'cause I just checked,

and I think-- I think it's back on.

So nice of you to check. Fiona: Oh.

Well, you know, my pleasure. Isn't he nice for checking?

Come on. No, I checked after that, and it got canceled.

Well, I just checked after that and it's back on.

Yeah. When was that?

I'm pretty sure I checked after you.

I checked really recently. I checked after you for certain.

I just checked. Well, I checked, and then...

the plane is broken for all time.

Apparently that's-- The wings were wrong.

Wrong wings? A good pilot will never take off in one of those.

It's like you don't want me to stay. I'm desperate for you to stay.

No, you have to stay. You're my best friend.

Of course I want you to stay. I want to introduce you to Mom and Dad.

Oh, great. I don't think you need...

Oh no, that's all right. ...bother your parents.

Don't think you need to disturb them. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. I better...

♪ ♪ (chattering)

(sighs) Finally.

Great talking to you. You're welcome.

We'll see you tomorrow. Good to see you. See you tomorrow.

Dean, I want you to meet my mother and father.

Edward and Charlotte. What a treat.

Edward: Thank you. So excited. Heard such good things.

Dean is Charles' best friend from school. Yes.

Oh! They met at Eton.

Oh, Eton. The English Exeter.

That's right. Leonard: It's very real.

Honey, do you mind if we go inside

and look at the seating chart for tomorrow?

I think there are a few changes we should talk about. Leonard: Good idea.

Sure, sure. Edward: I'll join you.

Will we be seeing you at the wedding tomorrow?

No, no. Dean has to go. He's busy.

Dean's staying as my guest.

He's Charles' best friend. Leonard: That is true.

Oh, go on then. Is that okay? Is there room?

I don't think there's room.

He can stay in the guest room above the state room.

Perfect. We'll talk it over inside.

Fiona: Yeah. Delightful.

Charlotte: Thank you, Nancy. Big day tomorrow.

Leonard: They've got this one room in rehab that's just ducks, and supposedly...

Darling. Hey.

The ducks are happy 'cause they come from a war zone.

(chuckles)

You know, I'm concerned about him with Carolyn.

Oh. Aren't you?

Huh. Um. No.

No, I don't think so. I haven't thought about it, but no.

'Cause she's not, umm, uh...

terribly experienced with men.

By terribly you mean... She's never been with a guy before.

Never been with a guy before. Okay, well, you know, I...

hear your concern. I'll be vigilant.

Great. I shouldn't probably divulge this, but...

he had a very tough childhood.

Oh. His mother, although she was wonderful, she was...

She was really lovely, but she had dark spells.

So, I think Dean maybe grew up

creating a happier reality for himself. Oh gosh.

Now I feel so bad about being concerned about him with Carolyn.

Oh my God. No, no, don't feel badly. You should be concerned.

Not alarmingly concerned, but...

Listen to me, Fiona. If I could just... (snaps fingers)

snap my fingers, and it would just be the two of us,

and we're past all this and we're married.

Mmm. Yeah? We're husband and wife, you know?

Mm-hmm. Love you so much.

I... love you. I love you.

Let's go. Let's walk this way. Okay. Okay.

Let's go and join the troops.

(deep sigh)

(chattering)

Charles, come over here. I want to show you something.

Was there some thing you wanted to show me? Yes, well, I was just looking

at the table setups again, and I think we might...

We're finalizing the ad buys. Look at that and that.

Very nice. But you see? You fit right in.

(chuckles) Fiona.

I'm having you meet with Davis and Gail next week

to talk about your campaign...

Oh. Dad, I wasn't going to use your guys. ...see what they can do.

No, I'm not holding you down, honey. I have my own guys.

I'm trying to help you here. Ha!

Fiona: Mom, what were you saying? Too much business.

We have a wedding. Let's let her rest. All right.

Charlotte: If we seat her next to Lewis, there's a chance

he'll get her to do a profile on Fiona when she announces.

Which would be great. That would be great. Right?

We should... Of course. We can talk about this in the morning.

Great idea, Mom. Thank you. (kisses) Good night, sweetheart.

Good night. Thank you. Sleep well.

(Edward speaks softly) Fiona: Good night. Thank you.

Leonard: I'm having a wonderful time.

The drinks you ordered, sir.

William: Drinks? There we are.

You should get to bed, Reynolds.

Someone has defecated on the Bentley, madame.

Someone what? What?

What do you mean? It was a person? How do you know it was a person?

It was definitely a person. Some...

How do you know?

Well, actually, now I think of it, there was a group of raccoons--

a pride of raccoons, and they were progressing at pace towards the garage.

I'm spilling quite a lot of this, but it doesn't really matter.

I'm having a lovely time. William: We should all get to bed.

Maybe bring the drinks up to bed. Hey. There we go.

Join me, Fiona. Will you have some of this? Uh, no.

It's actually-- It's alcohol, so you might like it.

I'll pass. No? Oh, I'm sorry.

You're right, ladies first. You've found my wife's medication of choice.

(both laugh) You should be in favor of this, darling.

It makes you seem almost tolerable. (chuckles)

Listen, I wanted to just say thank you to you all

for welcoming me into your home like this--

so unreservedly. Such generosity,

such kindness. I'd like to tell you a little story.

Umm... Do we have to? It's very late.

Well, it-- You'd like this story. We should get to bed.

I recently was disowned by my brother, my own brother,

my only brother. And I went to his home and...

He'll tell you. It's a sad story. And my brother said,

"Go away. No, you're not welcome." William: You know, it's...

I seem to remember you caused your brother a lot of anguish.

Oh no, that wouldn't do well now. Yeah, I think so.

I think you embarrassed him. It hurt me a lot.

I don't know. I mean, he's your brother. He's dead.

Both: Oh. Leonard: He died.

Wow. Yeah.

Wow. He... died.

And then... How did-- How did he die?

Oh! God, it was...

just one of the normal ways.

Normal way. Oh God, I'm s-- I'm bringing the mood down.

A little bit. A little bit. You know, it's just-- Anyway...

Thank you.

That's when Charles stepped in, and he's like a brother to me now.

Sometimes I just want to say, "brother," but it's not--

I can't. (laughs) Not accurate. Not accurate.

And he-- my God, what a kind soul. Okay.

There's nothing this man wouldn't do for me. Stop it.

What a brilliant man. You're embarrassing me. Come on.

No, no, no, no, no. Maybe I'm paraphrasing, but he said,

"Come into this home,

"freely, any time. Be here. Take what you need." (whispers) Did I say that?

"Have anything." You are paraphrasing. You are paraphrasing.

It was more poetic when you said it.

He has a way with words I don't have.

Listen. I'm gonna get a bit emotional.

Whatever I can do... I just want to say that you've done everything.

You've done so much for me. Well...

I love you, buddy, so...

I love you too, mate. Okay.

That's quite a big thing for me to say to a guy.

You know what? I just know I'm going to love all you guys ,too.

What a wonderful thing, and I'm just so happy I can share it

with you all. To the bride and groom, the happy couple.

Oh. Fiona and Charles. Well, Dean, we're very sorry about your brother.

But, you know,

suppose we have a room upstairs made up for you?

How would that be? Oh, that's so kind.

Is that not a problem? Don't feel you have to, honestly,

but that would be great. Or, Carolyn, I don't know if you...

anything, really. Maybe a room, a room.

So kind. Everything you've said about them is true.

(clock chiming)

Carolyn: Oh! Allison's here!

Both: Oh.

Charlotte: We'll be in the kitchen.

Mom.

No. What?

When she wants to come and say hello to us, she can come and say hello.

Hmm? (chuckles)

(clicks tongue) Dear.

I should go... Yeah, yeah.

It's been so long!

Hi, sweetie. How are you?

(sighs) I'm so sorry. Something came up at the office.

It couldn't wait. Fiona: It's all right.

Mom and Dad are in the kitchen if you want to say hello.

Oh! (laughs bitterly) Okay.

Want me to take your coat? No, I'm good, thanks.

Allison, meet my fiancé, Charles.

Charles. Yeah. Oh. Umm...

Oh. Okay. Hi.

It's nice to meet you. I've been so curious

to see the man who could've persuaded my sister to get married so expediently.

(chuckles) You must be quite the charmer.

Yes, I'm famously charming.

I always thought it would take someone really exceptional

to trap this one and...

now here you are.

Here I am.

Look who's here. Hello.

Allison! It's wonderful to see you, Allison. Welcome home.

Hi, Dad. Charlotte: Hello, Allison.

Hi, Mom. You missed the rehearsal for your sister's wedding.

Yeah. I'm aware of that.

I spoke to her about it already.

Uh-huh. Dean.

This guy. Yup.

Of course we want you to be successful.

All right if I...? Yup, good.

I saw the latest polls. Things are looking good for you, Dad.

That's great. Looking good.

By the way, I have some changes to the Foundation by-laws--

amendments that I need for you to sign.

Well, all right. All right, all right.

Hey, Charles. Could you come over here, take a look at this?

Yup. I've been having Charles

advise me on some of these sort of things, like the Foundation.

Oh yeah. (chuckles) He knows what he's doing. Oh.

I mean, I don't have to get involved.

No, no, no. Honey, Charles has been doing nonprofit for years.

It's how we met. It's his field.

(sighs) I'm sorry, I was just...

surprised. No, no.

We actually worked together on a few things, didn't we, Charles?

That charity for-- oh yeah, marmoset erectile dysfunction. Do you remember that one?

Allison: What? Leonard: Mmm.

Sounds unlikely doesn't it? I know it sounds fake,

but it's a real charity that Charles set up.

No, no, no. Tell them about it.

That sort of-- That sounds absurd.

Leonard: And yet weirdly... very real.

Well, no, what it was is we were using the marm--

they were using the marmosets

for research-- for scientific research about--

it was leukemia. They were... Leonard: Oh yeah.

William: I mean, I'm not a scientist,

but it was to do with leukemia. Leonard: What was it again?

Looking for a cure, but it didn't pan out. Didn't pan out.

It... yeah. The erections were just a happy byproduct.

There was no erections. Leonard: They died happy.

Poor little guys. A happy accident. "Article three..."

Interesting. Do I need to look at this now?

Is that important? I could give it a much more thorough go-over

after tomorrow. Well, I'd really rather that you...

Yeah, well, let's call it a night, hmm?

Just... (grunts)

Yes, call it a night.

Yeah. If you would've come here a little earlier,

we could've talked about it.

(Carolyn and Leonard chatting)

(sighs) Well, good night, everyone.

See you in the morning.

It's going to be a beautiful ceremony.

So, Charles...

Where else did you work in nonprofit before?

London. London. (chuckles)

No, I mean... what organizations?

Blessed Children's Foundation.

I haven't heard of them.

It's in the UK, probably why.

Oh. No. (clears throat)

Well, you know, I would love for you to get me their information.

Oh. Sure.

Mm-hmm.

I'll probably have to do it the day after tomorrow.

Have a wedding. Yes, of course.

I'm the groom. Yeah.

I should be attending that. You know, I'm on the list.

I worked there with you, didn't I, Charles? Do you remember?

The Blessed...

Children's F-- Loved that. Best three years of my life, that was.

Great times. Wish... ah...

Right. ...I could go back there.

Just do the songs again.

♪ Help them all, they're quite small ♪

(chuckles) It was great. Shall we?

Okay, sleep well.

Carolyn: I'm so excited.

Leonard: ♪ Blessed Children ♪ I'm gonna put Dean to bed.

Thank you. Okay, I'll see you in a second.

So, good night. Okay, good night, darling.

Where do I go? Up here.

Good night, Dean. William: Okay.

Yes, good night, Carolyn. Okay, yes, she knows. She knows you said good night.

(whispers) Okay, okay, okay.

Just being polite. Just saying good night.

(sighs) I don't understand why you can't behave.

(whispers) Leonard, if you behaved, everything would be fine.

Well, you know, perhaps Dean is being a bit troublesome.

Maybe we bring Leonard back. Well, I've got a better plan.

I'm gonna lock you in this bedroom, and I'll let you out in the morning, okay?

I don't think I'll come out well from that plan at all.

And please don't do anything horrible to the bedroom.

Okay? Okay? (laughs)

How little you think of me. I'm going to tidy it up, if anything.

Okay, good night. People have often said that about me.

All right. Okay. Excuse me, is it haunted?

It's not haunted. I ask because ghosts do go for me,

and they do find me quite attractive. I don't really want that.

Do you remember Aunt Joan's funeral?

I didn't tell you, but she found me that night. Good night, Dean.

And she'd been dead for a while, buddy. Mm-hmm.

Hey, don't lock me-- Come on. (lock clicks)

(deep sigh)

(water running)

Darling.

Darling?

Fiona: Yeah? Could you come in here?

What? I've lost something.

What?

All my clothes.

And my inhibitions.

Oh. (laughs) You know, I had them out there.

I came in, and they all just--

they must be in the water somewhere. Maybe you could...

just swirl a hand around and help me find them.

Darling, do-- do you want to get in?

Come on, have a soak. Ah.

Come on, have a soak. No thanks.

This is my last night, you know, as an unmarried man.

Don't you want to fool around with an unmarried man?

Come on. You need to get scrubbed for the wedding.

That's it. That's it. Here we go.

I know we weren't planning on being traditional, but I...

I think I'm gonna sleep in Allison's room tonight.

You know, just give her and I...

a chance to catch up.

But don't you wanna dive into this pool of treasures?

Yes, but I think I should...

Okay. Well... Enjoy.

Sleep well.

Leonard: Come on, little key. Yes, Mr. Key.

Ah. Come on, Mr. Key.

I am very lonely and I enjoy the company of keys.

Please. Ah. Another terrific plan.

(chuckles) Umm, who goes there?

(whispers) It's me, Carolyn.

Carolyn. Good. Good timing.

Can you help me out here? I seem to have accidentally been locked in a room.

You wouldn't mind, uh, freeing me, would you?

I guess an oversight by somebody.

(clicks) I don't really know what happened here.

Hello. Hello.

That's a real help.

A little bit past your bedtime here, I'm afraid.

Hmm. Ah. Hmm.

I like this room.

Huh.

My great-aunt used to stay in here when she would visit,

but she died last year.

That's such a good story.

I mean, this-- Everybody's asleep, huh? Everybody's gone...

I don't-- I don't know. I think so.

(chuckles) Great. Well, fun. Thanks for stopping by.

(shivers) It gets cold in this house at night...

Yes. I mean, it's... (chuckles nervously) ...out here in the hall.

It-- It does. Carolyn.

Uh-huh? Are you going to bed?

(mumbles) Well, I mean, we were kinda in the middle of negotiations.

I'm not really sleepy yet.

I was just coming to find you.

Well, since we're all up, anyone for a drink?

Yes. Yes.

I think that's-- Yes, that seems like a good idea to me.

Do you know, funny story...

Beautiful house. You and me are gonna get along well.

(laughs)

No, not the kitchen. Where does Mr. Langston keep the good stuff?

Dean, no, that's my dad's...

All right. (laughs)

Now, if I were an aged Scotch, where would I hide?

You know what? Can we not be in here?

Please don't mess with my dad's stuff.

Let's just go have a drink in the kitchen.

I found this stash years ago,

but it's just peppermint schnapps.

Well, okay. Not bad for a start.

Carolyn, get that down you, see if that helps.

Carolyn, that's not water. Take it easy.

Ah, Fiona, come on. Daddy's not here, you can drop the whole prig routine, hmm?

We're all friends. Ah! A safe.

This is fun. I'm gonna get this little guy open. Any ideas?

(beeping) Try 1-7-1-7.

He's used that number before for things.

Oh. Great, Carolyn.

(whirs) And... we're in!

Good work. All right.

Oh, who loves paperwork?

Because that's mostly paperwork.

Hey, this is interesting. Hmm. Did you know your dad was a member of that?

I-- I don't know what this is.

It is the Ordo Templi Aquilinium.

It's a fraternal society set up in 1717 in Britain, in fact.

Behind the assassination of a lot of important people,

including Engelbert Dollfuss, who was then, of course,

Federal Chancellor of Austria.

He tried to shut down the Nazi party.

He got killed for it in 1934.

If your dad's caught up in that, he might not be

the cuddly-wuddly teddy bear I think we all thought he was.

(whirs) (Leonard chuckles)

They're also phallus worshipers, so... not all bad.

All right, I think we're making too much noise,

and it's bedtime.

I think we should all just go to bed.

Mm, yes. That's a fun idea, isn't it?

Here's a better one. Why don't we go somewhere?

We could get to New York City. It's not a far drive.

Bars will still be open. I know a party that's going on down the street

with some people who I went to school with. All right. You know what?

Tomorrow is my wedding day, so I'm going to say no.

That's settled then. Wonderful. Fiona, I'm so glad you're on-board.

Come on, guys. Come on, Fiona. We need you to drive.

God damn it. I'm smashed.

Allison: Is it far? It's at the Jameson's house, just over on Hillcrest.

So, Dean, I'm so curious to hear more about this charity work

you've been doing with... Oh, the charity work with Charles.

Yes, yes, lots to tell. Carolyn, you're not driving.

(door closes) Leonard: Very generous man. Go, go, go.

Get in the back. (Carolyn scoffs)

Come on, please. It's perfect.

It's the perfect size. Focus on...

Dad's car.

(grunts)

(whispers) Dean. Dean.

No, he said, "Add this..." You should come back. We just got to the party.

(rock music playing)

Oh, hey, Trevor. Hey.

Looks pretty dead. Well, it's late.

Carolyn. So this is your fiancé's best friend?

Oh, well... Fiona, how long have you known Charles?

You know what? I think it's a little unfair, you coming back here

and pretending like you know everything that's going on here.

You're not around. You don't know.

Well, there's a reason for that.

I don't want Dad making my decisions for me.

I don't do that!

All right, ladies and gentlemen, big news.

I have on my person many, many bottles

of very, very fine, really very expensive alcohol,

and I'm willing to share it with you my good, new friends.

Is that from our house?

I just can't remember.

Dean. Dean.

(sighs) Dean!

We're just bubbling under. We're so close.

You know, but there's people here, in this very room,

who don't believe that you guys want to party,

don't believe that you are even capable of it.

And I don't know who the people are

who think like that, but they're here!

Who will stand beside me

and say, "Fie! Fie!" to the naysayers.

Shall we all say, "Fie"? Fie! Fie.

Fie! Good, Carolyn.

Reynolds. Sorry, have you seen Dean?

I have regrettable news for you, sir.

(sighs) Just...

Where did he shit?

Always a good option. Wow. Okay. Now hang on a sec.

I'm sorry. What is this? It's a pool.

Right. Carolyn, you're up. On your feet.

Clothes off, in the pool. Come on, let's go.

Who else? Okay.

Uh... Carolyn!

Woman: Wow. Leonard: Okay. This worked.

Okay. All right, you-- you've been good all night.

Don't let me down now. Let's go! Carolyn!

(splashes) Fiona, come on, let's join in.

Yes. Come on! Don't let me down.

Come on, wake up, Connecticut! This is happening!

What are you waiting for? It's not a drill, people.

There is nudity in a pool right now, and you're missing it.

Fiona, you would be very good at this. I think this could be your moment to excel.

Yes! Come on, everybody! Now, now, now!

(laughing) Leonard: Come on! Let's go, let's go!

Man: Whoo! Leonard: Good. Good, good, good.

Take any photos, and that goes in the water.

Fiona! Well done, party people.

It's perfect, Fiona. You have to get in.

Nothing bad's gonna happen to you.

We're drunk. We're in a pool. It's ideal!

Carolyn: Yes! Umm... no.

Oh. Okay, sorry, guys. She's a little bit worried.

Her daddy might be here somewhere, huh?

(door closes) (people shouting)

Out there. Leonard: Whoo!

Come in in your pants if you want.

Carolyn: Come in in your coat if you want. Come in in your coat!

Fiona. Carolyn, get out of there. Fiona: Charles!

What are you doing? Get out of there! What are you doing?

I'm-- I'm supervising. Come on, time to go.

Carolyn, get out of the pool right now.

Hey! This isn't a joke, darling. Get out of the pool. Charles.

Why are you letting her do this? Come on. Charles, I drove them.

They've both been drinking. Come on, get out of the pool.

I'm being the responsible one here. Okay. Okay.

Come on, let's go, let's go. What are you doing?

What do you mean, what am I doing? Your little sister's naked in a pool

full of fucking weirdos. I'm just trying to protect your campaign.

What are-- What are you doing? Fie!

Leonard: Yeah! Okay, put your clothes back on.

Fie, Charles. What the hell--

Fie! Fie!

Fie! Whoo! What does that mean?

Whoo! (cheering)

Are you gonna let her do this? Allison: Not my fiancée.

Right. Hey, what-- what are you doing?

Guys, no. (both laughing)

Guys, what are you doing? Carolyn: Run!

Fiona, we've gotta go. We've gotta go.

Come on, it's time to go. Fiona, let's go.

Fiona, come on. Whoa! Okay.

(laughter)

William: What the hell?

Carolyn and Dean just took off in Dad's car.

What? Jesus fucking Christ.

She wouldn't be driving right now if you hadn't come to the party.

I just-- I can't believe that you would be so susceptible

to go along with someone like Dean.

He's your friend! Yeah, he's my friend,

but he's also a fucking liability.

You are my fiancée. I expected more of you.

Okay, Dad.

(honking)

Carolyn, stop! Carolyn, pull over!

What? Sorry! Huh?

Carolyn, stop right now! I can't really hear you!

We're driving too fast to hear you. Dean, that's enough.

I'm helping! Whoa!

Charles, watch out! No! Holy shit.

Carolyn! (grunts)

(tires screeching)

William: No, no, no, no! No!

Oh my God. (panting)

You okay?

Hey, are you okay? Man: Yeah, I'm okay.

Yeah? Is he all right?

Yeah, he's all right. Dean!

Carolyn: There's been an accident. Dean!

Can you come get me?

I don't know. It's all right. Don't worry. I'm fine.

Fiona: You okay, honey? Carolyn: I'm okay.

You did what you did to that girl and you let her drive a car?

To be fair, I'm in absolutely no state to drive.

She could've killed somebody.

You could've gotten yourself killed.

And you went along with him, Fiona.

I'm glad that your father isn't here to see this whole situation.

My dad? Yeah, what's he going to think

when he finds out about all this?

Maybe he knows better than you

how you should be handling yourself.

That's what you think?

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I think.

(radio chatter)

(people chattering)

Carolyn: Mom. Honey, what happened? Are you okay?

You keep coddling her, she won't know she did something wrong.

She's not a dog, Edward. Dad. Dad.

How's he doing? Nothing broken?

What's your name? (man mumbles)

Could you give us a minute?

Okay. Let's get on it. Thanks.

(Edward whispers)

Who was driving this car?

Allison: Honey, no, no, no, no.

Officers, I'm an attorney.

I can speak on behalf of the Langston family.

I'd like to get your names and badge numbers... Dad. Dad.

Could I talk to you for-- You know, maybe some other time. Thank you, dear.

(whispering) Now, I just wanna tell you...

Fiona, I'm taking you home to bed.

Is it my bedtime now?

(sighs) Charles...

What are we doing?

We barely know each other.

Fiona, come on. I... No, Charles.

I think that I convinced myself that I loved you, because you just...

You seemed so perfect, and...

No, I don't think we can go through with this.

Fiona, you're under a lot of stress right now.

You shouldn't do anything rash. Get in the car, Mom.

(sighs) Come on.

(car doors shut)

(sighs) (car door shuts)

(car door shuts)

(sighs)

Well, don't dilly-dally, Charles.

Off we trot, hmm?

William, don't be sad.

This is good. It's just the two of us, together again,

like when we were kids. Don't you want that?

That's all I want. That's all...

You know? (chuckles)

You really fucked things up for me, Leonard.

Come on.

Team effort, wouldn't you say?

You must really hate me...

to do what you've done.

No. (laughs)

I couldn't hate you. You-- You're my best friend.

My best friend and my brother.

What's better than that?

Leonard, I'm in love with Fiona.

You're not being honest. How can you have real love

if you're not being honest with each other? We have real love.

I love you. We're honest. That's good.

Get out of the car, Leonard.

(sighs)

(taps) (whirs)

I'll be fine, to be honest.

I'm very good at hitching a ride.

(chuckles) So, don't you worry about me.

I actually like it out here. Leonard.

Don't come back to the house.

As far as I'm concerned, we're no longer brothers.

Just go away.

Go home.

(sniffles) Don't come back.

Fiona: We could call Kevin at city council about this. Or Lewis.

No, no, no, we're not telling Lewis about this.

Now, Charlotte, call Gail.

Call her yourself. What do you think I'm doing?

Well, get her on the phone right away.

I'm trying to. She's not picking up.

You know, Carolyn, I don't think you should attend the wedding tomorrow.

I don't know why you even say things like that.

Because he needs to feel big.

There isn't going to be a wedding tomorrow.

(breathes deeply)

Charlotte: That's enough. Fiona.

Edward: Leave me alone. Charles, she doesn't want to speak to you.

Well, maybe I want to speak to her.

Really, you should just leave her alone.

Hey, come on, come on, just help me out.

Just help me out, 'cause I've got to talk to her.

She needs to be alone. You should respect that.

Edward, please. Allison, come over here.

(sighs) Edward: Come here.

Allison: What, Dad? I'm trying to get a hold of her.

Fiona, I'm not who you think I am.

Allison: Yes. Mm-hmm.

No, I'm not that guy. I overreacted.

Allison: He says it's already on... I know who you are, Charles.

I don't think you do. Tell her it's her fucking job

to keep it off the police blotter!

What the hell am I paying her for?

Charlotte: Edward, you need to calm down right now.

You have no idea how deep this goes with my family,

the covering up like this.

Allison: ...multiple times, Dad.

You don't want to be a part of this family.

Trust me, it's for the best this way.

It's... Edward: Charles, Charles.

Would you come here for a minute?

I need to go over a few things with you.

(sighs) Yup.

Come on in, Charles. (door shuts)

Have a seat. So... is there anything else,

aside from Dean, that I need to know?

Any... surprises?

No. No? Nothing gonna come out of the woodwork

Any... crazy ex-girlfriends?

Anything? (chuckles) No, no. I wish.

Okay, because if we can't contain this situation,

we might get a little more attention, and that might involve you.

Are you ready for that? I can handle whatever, sir.

Good, good, because I...

I've done a background check on you, Charles. I hope you don't mind.

If somebody is going to be marrying my daughter,

you should know that I need to know everything about them.

Right? I get it. Of course.

But just now...

I've looked a little closer. It's a little confused.

There's some things in here that don't seem like you.

I mean, you spent a year... Mmm.

...at sea with the Merchant Navy.

Pardon? Spent a year at sea

with the Merchant Navy. The Merchant Navy. Yes, yes, yes.

No, I did do that. I did, and... Mm-hmm?

it wasn't really for me, you know, but...

got a lot of reading done. Yeah. Oh.

A few puzzles. You know. Yeah. (chuckles)

No action in the North Atlantic? Just puzzle action.

Okay, and... just last week you were telling me

about the charity work that you did in the Sudan last summer.

That's correct. But here it says you were registered as working

full-time with a venture capital firm in London.

Can I just...? Yeah. See?

Oh. Yeah. Yes, well, no, that's-- that's correct.

They were-- They were very lenient with holiday time,

especially 'cause I said, "I'm going off to do some..."

You did the charity work on your holiday? They tend to be understanding.

Yes, I did. Yeah. Yeah.

And you worked as a caretaker at a dialysis clinic

in Shoreditch for six months?

Yes, I did do that. Yeah.

Great dialysis in Shoreditch. Some of the best.

Nothing here about the marmoset leukemia thing.

Well, that was-- I mean, that was pro bono.

Pro bono? Yeah, I just mean off the books.

Well, Charles, I don't think I need to hammer you with this, anymore.

But, Charles... (sighs)

Allison isn't always here, and...

Carolyn-- well, you met Carolyn. (chuckles)

But Fiona is the one. She is my legacy.

And we need to take care of her, Charles.

I think she can take care of herself, but I will do what I can.

Now, I'm counting on you. (knocks on door)

Thank you.

(door opens) Okay.

Dad, are you-- Can I come in a second?

Sure, sweetheart. Thank you, Charles.

No problem. Oh, no, Charles can stay.

It's better if you stay, actually.

Okay. Do you mind if I take a look at that file?

Yeah, I'm just-- I'm just a little confused,

because I was talking to Dean earlier

about some of the charity work that you two did together.

I was just at an accident.

A pretty severe car accident.

Do you remember? A lot of stuff kind of got swept under the rug.

And that's weird, isn't it?

'Cause that doesn't seem particularly legal.

So maybe I have some questions for all of you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't want Charles to think this about us.

Let's everybody calm down. It's late, you know.

We don't want to go nuts.

Look... Out. Everybody out.

Sorry. Yup. Edward: Out. Out.

After you. (humphs)

(door closes) Edward: All right.

Fiona, why don't you come in here?

We'll have a little chat. It's all right.

Mr. Dean is at the door.

What? No, don't let him in. Do not let him in.

(chuckles) Okay. Right, right.

William: God damn you, Reynolds.

(sighs)

Okay.

I didn't want to tell you about this before the wedding,

I wanted to spare you, but...

but my internal polling says that I am down seven points

and I could lose this election if I don't pull it together.

Now...

maybe-- the calling off the wedding,

maybe we can take that hit if we're smart, but...

I want you to listen to one thing.

There's gonna be some desperate reporter

who's gonna be asking what happened.

And he's gonna be snooping around,

and he's gonna wind up finding out about Carolyn and the accident,

and God knows what else.

(whispers) I'm here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Hey, Dean. Hey. (chuckles) Hi.

(William whispers) What are you doing? It's fine. Listen to me.

Mm-hmm. Will you forgive me?

Forgive me. It's so important. Don't care. Don't care.

Please. I know I'm in the wrong-- I don't care. I don't care.

No, because I can fix it. I can fix it. You can't fix it.

Yes, yes, yes, I'm going to fix it.

We've got a great plan. Don't worry. It's going to work perfectly.

The most important thing is that you forgive me, brother.

I'm going to start with the family.

I'm going to make good with the family.

Who would like a drink? Would anyone fancy a drink?

Just listen to me.

Now, I'm... paving the way for you here, honey.

Now, I know you're going to make a great public servant,

but right now your campaign needs my coattails,

and you're not gonna win if I lose the election.

It's all gonna fall apart.

Mrs. Langston, there's a young lady here.

What? Yes. She's with me.

Charles said I could bring a guest. Yes.

She's great, actually, and she's gonna fit right in.

You're gonna love her. She's smart. I didn't...

Fuck clever. Wonderful, funny person.

Knows how to take a cock, as well, so... you can't put a price on that.

Well, you can for trying, can't you?

Fuck! Sorry.

(laughs) It's so dark out there, I can't see shit.

Whoa! Mmm!

Hi! This is Carla.

Hi. Carla is here.

Carla. Hi. Carla, Do the hands. They love the hands.

Oh, you're a cutie. You're a cute little muppet. Look at you.

(laughs) Hi. Carla.

This is very-- (snaps fingers) This is working for you.

Is this your house? It's fucking great.

It's lovely. It's a lovely house. It's fucking great. Carla.

Hi. So nice to meet you. Hello. Yeah.

She's sexy. This doesn't stop. Wait till you meet this guy.

Carla. How you doing? It's Charles.

Charles. Charles!

It's Charles. Yeah. Yeah.

Both: Charles. (Leonard laughs)

Good Time Charlie, huh? Well, I'm not really having a great time.

Oh, I'll change that. Will you?

Never asked you for anything.

All of my life, I've tried to give you everything you wanted,

and this one time, I need you to do this for me,

for your children. Mm-hmm.

I want this to be the beginning

of the Langston political dynasty.

We can't stray from that course, honey.

Dad, I've made up my mind.

Well, if you won't listen to reason...

then we'll have a real talk.

We're-- We're friends from school, Carla. Can you believe that?

What a story. Really?

Yes. Yes.

He's not-- Oh, I thought you were related.

Weird. Weird. Carla: You look like brothers.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah. I don't think so. He looks like a drowned Elizabethan.

(Carla and Leonard laugh)

I'm going to need to borrow about $200.

Nothing to do with present company. (sighs)

So...

Fiona and I have talked it over, and we have agreed

that the wedding tomorrow will proceed as planned.

(whispers) I did it. We did it.

Edward: So, all is well,

and we'll all just... carry on as we would've.

Well, okay. (Leonard laughs)

So... off to bed. Leonard: Yes!

Charlotte: Here we go. Fiona. Fiona. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Carla: Who's getting married? A wedding.

Charlotte: Here we go. Are you excited about the wedding?

(chattering) (whispers) Let me talk to you.

Everything back to normal.

Fiona, I don't want you to go through this if you don't want to go through it.

It's fine, Charles. No, it's--

I don't care. Wait.

Fiona, I'm not gonna make you do something that you're gonna regret.

(both chuckle)

Oh, I have the-- I have the room. okay.

(breathes deeply)

So, I met your dad and...

wasn't entirely... truthful.

You're-- You're gonna laugh.

She's gonna laugh when she hears, right?

She's gonna... I-- Yes. (chuckles)

It's just that you were so beautiful and-- and perfect

and... sweet.

You were so sweet to me.

And we-- we had such a good time.

So I lied.

My name isn't Charles Devonshire.

(sighs) It's William Rooney.

What?

William?

I don't have a background in nonprofits.

I don't come from a good family.

And this is my brother, Leonard.

Ah! Did not see that one coming. (snaps fingers) I knew it.

And this is clearly some inexpensive prostitute he brought into your home.

Now, hey. Now, come on, please. "Inexpensive"?

William: I'm just saying what I see. Okay.

Mid-price, mate. Mid-range. Affordable...

Leonard: Yeah. ...is what they call me.

(William sighs)

Is this true?

Fiona, it's still me.

I couldn't let you go through with it...

because I love you.

Leonard: Good to get that off our chests, isn't it?

Do you know what I mean? I feel a lot better.

It was always hanging over us a little bit, you know?

Woof!

(Leonard chuckles)

It's a lovely speech.

May I speak with you two in the other room, please?

Okay. All right.

He's got the booze, mate. I'll follow him.

I'm gonna-- Let's-- We're-- We're gonna talk.

Won't be long, Carla. I'm sorry.

Leonard: What a fun day.

Going downstairs. (chuckles)

(lights humming)

Sit down.

Sit the fuck down.

It's all right. It's okay. It's just--

I just need to talk to you for a minute.

(clatters)

Okay.

Okay. Uh...

We used to keep the dogs in here when I would go hunting.

They used to sleep right over there in that corner.

(chuckling)

This is the hunting room.

My father used to bring me down here

when he would take me hunting.

I inherited the long tradition

of fending for one's self in the great outdoors.

We had this cabin in Montana. We used to go up there.

He'd take us hunting, and fishing, and hiking for days.

My grandfather did the same for him.

My family grew up out of the savagery

that was the forming of this country.

And in 1863, when they were putting in the railroads,

my great-great-grandfather had the wherewithal

to invest in the steel industry.

And through that brutal business,

he was able to hold on to the fortune that had been passed on to him

by his ancestors who came over from Europe in the 1700s.

And my father believed...

in the ideal of family,

and he believed in maintaining that ideal however possible.

And my family has a lot to protect--

long bloodlines and long...

illustrious past, and that means a lot to me.

And I have no intention

of seeing anything or anyone destroy that.

Are you smirking at me, you little rat fuck?

(softly) No, he's...

You think you can treat me and my daughter and my family like we were fucking idiots?

Well, you know, I'm...

(laughs) Do you know what I'm gonna do to you?

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm not playing around.

I'm laying my cards on the table.

I'm gonna fucking kill you.

I'm gonna fucking kill you, and that's it.

This is turning out to be the most important moment of your entire life.

Everything you have ever done has led you to this moment,

and now you're gonna fucking die.

And I can do it. It's no problem.

Look, don't even worry about it.

(chuckles) It's a non-issue.

Jesus! Okay, come on. Hey, hey, come on.

What the fuck are you-- Put it down, Edward, come on.

Because you know why? You're nothing to me.

You are nothing to me. You're nothing.

You're just pieces of shit.

Boom, boom! You're gone.

I hope you appreciate the severity of the situation.

I hope you're crapping in your nappies,

'cause I'm gonna say this one more time.

You're gonna fucking die!

What would you do in my situation?

Somebody comes into your life and tries to steal from you?

Tries to-- worse that stealing,

tries to-- to abuse your trust

and take advantage of your generosity and your friendship,

and then try to marry your fucking daughter under false pretenses?

My God! I wanna know! What would you do?

Maybe let them go, don't talk to them again?

That seems... Yeah. An option.

...the thing to do. We could try that.

They're very sorry.

They are. Take your clothes off.

Take your clothes off.

Hey! Hey, girls, come down here! I wanna show you something!

(chuckles) Edward, what are you trying to accomplish here?

(chuckles) I'm gonna humiliate you in front of my daughters.

I'm gonna make you lick each other's fucking assholes.

(laughs) Oh my God!

Dad, what are you doing?

(laughs) Yeah. Edward, have you completely lost your fucking mind?

Mom, make him stop.

This is it. I'm gonna make you feel pain like you never imagined.

I'm gonna burn your fucking pricks off, you pieces of shit.

Edward! Dad, what they've done is a felony.

It's fraud, and they're going to prison for several years.

Dad? This is crazy. Please stop.

Fiona, back the fuck off!

Now, take your clothes off now!

Leonard, don't. Leonard, don't take your clothes off. No, I think I'll...

It feels like I'm gonna take my clothes off.

I don't mind so much, I have to say,

although I don't think it's very hospitable of you, is it?

Not how I'd treat a guest. Don't think your mother would be very impressed.

Hey, hey, hey. And we're gonna lick each other's assholes.

You need to start, 'cause I'm gonna be there soon.

William: I'm not taking my fucking clothes off.

I want all of you girls to know how much your father loves you

and what he is willing to do for you.

Dad, you're being psychotic. You thought you could do this

to my daughter and get away with it?

Well, you are in hell now. You are about to be in a living hell.

Quick question from me. Edward: Yeah? What?

Is it everything off? What do you want?

Yes. All of it off. Do you want to see the naughty bits?

Yeah. I think he does, doesn't he?

Charles, William, whatever the fuck your name is,

you've got five seconds to take your clothes off.

That's not gonna be happening. Stand up!

Up, Up! Fine, fine, fine, fine.

You were going to be a son to me, Charles.

My name is William.

Dad, really, this has gone far enough.

They have plenty of criminal prosecution awaiting them.

Take off your clothes!

Don't-- might not be the right time to mention it,

but I do get cold quite easily,

so I might just slip some of these guys back on, actually.

Jesus! Sit! You sit still! Oh yeah, kick 'em.

I wonder. Would we not all respond

a little bit better to a bit of kindness here? Leonard...

Shut up! Shut up! I'm just suggesting then maybe your wife,

Shut your goddamn mouth! Hey! Stop!

I don't seem to be able to shut up. Jesus. That's it.

I just think that maybe your wife, your daughters-- Carolyn: Dad, don't.

Okay, these two liars are going to get everything that they deserve.

Carolyn: What are you doing? Hey! Hey!

Ah! That's a very good start!

(clamoring) Hey!

What? What? What? Jesus fucking...

Dad, stop! Get off him!

What? What? For-- Get off him!

Get-- Stop it. Stop it. What?

Charlotte: Stop! Leonard: That's okay. That's enough.

(panting)

Well, thanks for the gratitude.

So just shoot me.

What do you think your lives would be like without me?

Edward, you're drunk.

How do you think you can afford

all the nice things that you girls like?

Huh? Living off of Carolyn's good looks?

Sucking money out of this family,

hasn't had a penny to her name since she got out of college?

Hey, hey! Edward, Jesus Christ. Charlotte: Edward!

This is about us, not them.

Do you think that the inheritance pays for this?

The inheritance was practically gone by the time I was born!

I'm holding all of this together by the sweat off of my back!

And if you demanding harpies had any appreciation at all,

you would be kissing my feet when I came home!

Carolyn: Okay? Allison: That's practical.

Edward, you are such a fucking baby.

Don't take your shit out on our girls.

Don't burden them with that.

It's selfish and it's cruel.

And you told me everything was fine with money.

I would have done something if I had known.

What are you gonna do? Take on an extra class?

Gas up the car occasionally?

Okay, you know what-- you know what I think?

I think everyone should just, like, calm down,

like, you know, maybe take a breath.

(laughing) This is-- This is kinda fucking weird down here, you know? So...

You think it's easy making money?

You think it's easy?

I'm sure you do, Carolyn. You think it's easy?

It's not easy!

Dad, this has nothing to do with Carolyn.

Edward, enough!

Well, you're the one that always said she was the dumb one.

Honey, he's taking that way out of context.

I--I would never say that about you.

Oh, I'm sorry, Carolyn. It's my fault!

I didn't push you hard enough. It probably wouldn't have made any difference.

My God, Dad. Oh, shut up, Allison.

Mom. All those years that I stayed away,

it was to get away from him, not you.

He was the one.

God, Allison. You're one stuck-up bitch.

I don't know how or when it happened,

but I am sorry I wasn't able to help you grow up better.

Edward, how about this?

I used to love you.

I used to love and adore you, and I don't anymore.

You're ignorant, you're a pig,

and I have been stuck with you for more than 30 years

because I wanted to protect the girls.

All right? Is that enough for you?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

(sighs)

(laughs)

What was I supposed to do with daughters?

All I ever wanted was a son.

Just one goddamn son...

to carry on my name.

Which will die with me.

Mom. Edward: Shit.

The great shame of my life.

You've all been a disappointment to me since the day you were born.

Real nice, Edward. Thanks for that, Dad.

Since we're all being...

so honest with each other, I wondered if...

Look, there's been something I've been...

meaning to ask you since I...

came here, and...

I'm just gonna say it. And I think you already know what it is.

I'd love to suck one of your wife's toes.

I think that would really relax everybody.

I think we've had a bit of a stressful day.

Should we put it to a vote? Anybody? No?

Let's go vote. He doesn't count, anyway. He whipped me.

That's got to rule him out. Hands in the air for yes.

Carla. Good, that's two.

Ooh. The voting has begun, guys.

Don't worry. Come on, sweetie.

Come on, just a few more.

It's-- Picked the wrong time.

Timing is everything with these things, isn't it?

Fiona.

(sighs) I'm sorry about all this.

I'm sorry that I hurt you.

I'm sorry that I risked hurting you.

You need to shut the fuck up right now.

You need to shut the fuck up.

(birds chirping)

(chattering, laughing)

(Carolyn squeals)

(vase shatters)

(laughter continues)

(man shouts) Back it up!

Back it up! That's good!

(sighs)

Right! Right there!

(people chattering)

(Leonard chuckles softly)

Charlotte: Hello. I'm sorry.

There's been a change of plans.

I don't think we're gonna be needing the flowers.

Woman: Well, these orders have already been put together.

I'm afraid someone's gonna have to sign for them.

Allison: Mom. Yes?

The caterers are setting up in the kitchen.

I don't know what you want me to tell them.

Woman 2: Hello! Hello.

Hello! Hi. Where is she?

Tell them to hang tight. Woman 2: Hello! Happy, happy day!

Where would you like us to stage everything

so we can get started on your hair and makeup?

Maybe right here? Oh, in the bedroom.

Oh, oh! How about by the pool? Natural light.

Woman 2: Oh, that'd be fantastic. Beautiful.

She's radiant already.

(sighs)

So, where are you from?

Umm... What, really?

Yeah. Lewisham, Chelmsford,

Lewisham again, Stowe,

Slough, Dundee for a particularly eventful night.

Leonard and I used to just chase our mother around Britain.

On the long journeys, we would amuse ourselves by playing this game,

where we would both be crime-fighting time travelers.

We called it Time Crime... or Crime Time.

Have to check with him.

I used to play a game when I was little where...

when my sisters and I were dragged to a dinner or whatever

at one of my parents' friends' houses, I would...

take something.

I would stash it in my bedroom and not tell anybody.

Fiona.

(chuckles) That's very naughty.

I think the name of that game is... robbery.

I called it Takesies. Takesies.

(luggage clicks)

(sighs)

(sighs) Well...

off to fight some crime in the past. Mmm.

Bye.

Bye.

Hold on.

I think we could try to make this work.

What?

My father's terrified right now.

The more I say no, the more he'll give me what I want.

(snoring lightly)

Dad. Hmm?

Fiona: Dad.

Dad! Ah! (coughing)

Dad. We're leaving.

The wedding isn't going to happen,

and William and I are going away together, and...

I'm not coming back.

Just sit down for a second.

Just sit down for a second here.

Dad, we don't have anything else to discuss with you.

The wedding will proceed as planned.

Fiona: Dad.

There's nothing that you can say that'll make us go through with this.

Fiona, neither of our campaigns can withstand a scandal.

This isn't a joke.

The wedding will proceed as planned.

Now, how about this?

You will have complete control over your campaign.

Complete control. I will not interfere

in the least. I give you my word.

And one more thing. William, you will--

you'll like this. (sighs)

The deed to the house.

We were thinking of turning that over to you for a wedding present.

So, you can still have all this.

Both your names will be on it.

You can have it all.

I was-- These are nice, because they're fuzzy. You know?

Mmm. That should fit, I guess.

Jesus. Are you okay?

I've got him.

I've got that piece of shit in a stranglehold.

Fiona. Mm-hmm?

You're not seriously considering taking him up on his offer, are you?

The man is a certified psychotic.

Did you not see him whip my brother?

Yes, and I have been dealing with that man my whole life,

but I'm in control now.

Okay, umm... you're scaring me a bit.

The offer is tempting,

but all that matters is that we're together, isn't it?

This is crazy. Look, this--

I'm sorry. I was listening in,

and you can't be considering this.

Look, I know that I can come across a little bit... devil-may-care,

and it kind of works for me. It's sexy, I guess.

But you're finally being honest with each other.

You can't do that here. William's back.

You can't go back to being Charles now.

So, you'd struggle for a bit of money. Oh well, big deal.

Listen to yourselves. You're saying you think

you've got everything you've always wanted. You already have that.

Huh? It's not... money or walls.

It's-- It's each other. You already have it.

(sighs) What more do you need?

I will, dear. Congratulations, Charles.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Mr. Montgomery.

Thank you so much for coming. We'll talk later.

Congratulations. I really appreciate it. Thank you for coming.

Your dress is gorgeous. Thank you for coming.

You're a lucky man. Don't I know it.

♪ ♪

Man: Oh yes, yes. Charles, what we talked about earlier--

I'd like to bring that up for a vote in the next meeting.

Fine. Why not?

Edward tells us you're taking the Langston name. Is that true?

It's a big move.

Well, listen, you know,

Charles Langston-- got quite a ring to it.

No, it's-- the Langston family has a rich and illustrious history, and I'm...

you know, I'm happy to be a part of that.

Leonard: Oh yes. (Carolyn laughs) I know.

Thank you for...

It's all right. Come on. There.

Excuse me.

You just keep having fun and don't ever let it get boring here, all right?

I hope so. Bye, darling. You sexy minx.

(giggles)

You're gonna sneak out without saying goodbye?

Bye, darling.

Well, good wedding. Wow.

Yeah. Good ceremony.

I think everybody enjoyed that, "Charles." Thank you.

Hey. Listen, you should... stay.

There's more food coming.

Bit of a disco later.

(laughs) If I stay, I'm going to cause you trouble.

You know that. I can't-- Look at this. Come on.

Look, it's set up for me! It is.

I wanna push an aunt over in a cake or--

I can't help myself. There's some very nice cars.

I'm gonna shit on something I'm gonna regret. (laughing)

You don't want me around. You know I will. Huh?

It was me, by the way. Did you work it out earlier?

From-- do you remember? No.

You shock me. I know you thought it wasn't, but it was.

I hanged a raccoon for that crime. Yeah.

Well, so it wasn't all bad.

I didn't-- I was gonna say bye.

Also, Edward's giving me quite a lot of money to leave,

so there's a-- yeah. Well, that sounds more likely.

So, don't worry about me. All right, look.

Oh. Huh?

It was good. It was all right in the end, huh?

You were a little worried there.

Bye. Bye.

Leonard, Leonard, wait.

You're my brother.

(sighs) I'm really sorry about everything.

I don't know. You've only just arrived.

Yeah. I would really like to have family here tonight, and...

you're my family.

Now...

That's nice.

I'm gonna go, but it's all right. Don't be upset.

It's fine. It's good for me.

I've got some money in my pocket, time to move on.

I'll be back. It might be a while.

5,000 years? Who knows how long it's gonna be?

Does Fiona know we're immortal yet?

I haven't told her. I haven't broken it to her.

She'll find out. Yeah. Well, maybe she won't.

(chuckles) She'll probably die before me.

They always die first.

All right. Oh! I didn't get you a wedding gift.

'cause I didn't know, but I have something for you.

Leonard: You didn't wrap it.

Nipple clamps. Yeah. For her. Nipple clamps. Okay.

Okay. Thank you.

Don't let Reynolds in my room before I... come back,

'cause he won't like what I've put in there.

But do push food under the door every now and then.

Congratulations!

Thank you for coming, Carla.

You're a-- a sweet person.

(laughing, chatting)

So you would know my friend Natalie?

Pembridge? (chatting)

Charlotte: The truth is, I owe you an apology.

I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry.

Just-- It was my fault. I missed you.

Charlotte: Honey, I missed you, too.

Partiers here? This is where the partiers are sitting?

Enjoying yourself a little too much?

That's fine, have fun. Great to see you.

Thank you so much for coming.

(chatting)

...too, but I think she's a knockout.

♪ ♪

Well, I just hope they're as happy as Charlotte and I have been.

They're the perfect couple. Never been happier.

(classical score playing)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪