Original subtitles

I'm not ready for this, Eda. Maybe we should go back.

Nah, kid. You got this. Just do what we practiced.

But what if... What if I mess something up?

Or what if I do something wrong? What if I die?

Hey. Calm down, calm down.

I had to do the same thing when I was a witchling.

It's like a rite of passage.

Granted, I was a little more skilled.

Eda. Right, right. Sorry, sorry.

Now, get pumped. Pumped!

Get ready. Ready!

Now, go!

[Luz] From the humblest of beginnings, a hero will rise.

I have traveled from another realm

and trained with a powerful witch

to master dark and forbidden magic.

I am... Luz Noceda!

[chuckles] Confetti.

Right. The human that wants to be a witch.

Against my better judgment, I've allowed you to take this exam into Hexside.

But can you even do magic with all your... human parts?

I sure can.

It's said that humans can't do magic,

but I've discovered a lost technique

that changes everything.

Hmm?

Spells cast with paper? I've never heard of such a thing.

But is it enough to pass the exam?

Uh... Improvise.

Um, I can do other things. What about... this?

[makes beeping sounds]

Ow, ow! Eyelash! Eyelash!

[grunting]

Sorry, sorry, sorry!

Whoops! [yelps]

I failed, didn't I?

Believe it or not, I've seen worse. [grunts]

Welcome, Luz, to Hexside School of Magic and Demonics!

Hurray.

Mm, we gotta go back. This was a mistake.

I'm gonna mess things up again and everyone will see, and...

Right, you gotta calm down.

What are you nervous about? You've been to school before.

That's why I'm nervous!

At my human school,

I didn't make a good first impression.

This is a chance to be seen as

something other than a screw‐up.

Hey, don't worry about what those dorks think.

If you want my advice, walk into class and punch the first kid you see.

To establish dominance.

Aw. I won't be doing that.

But thanks.

Last chance to back out, and earn a new bad girl coven patch.

Quitting: It's like trying, but easier.

Nah, I'll just earn it when I quit showering. Bye!

Hold up! [grunts]

Just try not to be too much of a goody loose shoes. You've got this.

Thanks, Eda. In fact, I have written a heartfelt sonnet to commemorate this occasion.

Whoops! A gust of wind just got me. See you after school.

Bye!

You're gonna do great, kid. Thanks, puppet Eda.

Hey, Luz! Congrats on getting in. And not being in the baby class.

Thanks, Amity! Up top.

Blech! Wow, my first day at Hexside.

A chance to discover my true magical potential.

And maybe meet a hot yet vulnerable upperclassman.

‐[King] Dream on. ‐King?

‐Boop! ‐Why are you in my bag?

You're a free ride to the best buffet in town!

Nyah! The trash cans here

are filled with half‐eaten gold!

Okay, but if anyone asks, you don't know me.

Have a wonderful school day, person‐I‐don't‐know!

I really needed to hear that.

Luz! Luz!

Hello, fellow Hexoleos!

Hello, classmate.

You did it, Luz!

Sorry. I was covering all my bases.

So, do you know who those witches are?

Those are the heads of the main nine covens.

Each one excelled at a magic school like Glandus,

St. Epiderm and, of course, Hexside.

Are you prepared to enter these hallowed halls?

Hmm, that's what I'm gonna figure out right now.

See you on the other side, friends.

See you later, Luz.

You know what? I'm, uh, I'ma just get rid of these.

[reporter] A terrible development at Glandus High School.

Students and teachers were found unconscious and without magic.

The cause remains unknown.

Ha! Take that, Glandus!

Looks like this year's Grudgby match is going to be a forfeit.

[door closes]

Hiya, Princy‐B! Can I call you that?

Absolutely not.

Now, today we will be visited by the Emperor's Coven

for a routine inspection. If we want to impress them,

you need to join a coven track before they arrive.

Actually, Principal Bump, I've made my own schedule.

First, vet care for mythical beasts,

then healing and dealing,

and then after lunch...

[laughs] Studying multiple tracks at once? No one does that.

Then I'll be the first.

No you won't.

According to the rules,

a good witch needs to hocus‐focus.

You can only pick one of the nine tracks.

And you do not want to embarrass me in front of the inspector.

But all the tracks are so cool!

Is there some sort of enchanted article of clothing

that can sort this out for me?

Well, there used to be but...

Oh, I'm so excited!

And now... I feed!

[student yells]

[shudders]

I don't know if I can choose just one.

Then I'll choose one for you.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe!

Ah, yes! The potions track. You humans are filled with liquids, right?

Oh, I guess I have always liked pouring things into other things.

I expect you to be on your best behavior.

Based on the costly repairs from recent incidents,

we could really use a donation from the Emperor's Coven.

Now, off to class.

[Luz screams] The choosy hat!

It broke free.

[teacher] Welcome to a new semester!

Let's get stirring! Today we'll make... fog brews.

Begin!

See? Potions are fun!

You could spend the rest of your life

studying this, right?

[loud thud]

[Luz] The oracle track.

The plant track!

Wow!

Ahem!

Sorry! [chuckles]

Sorry.

[shudders]

[inhales deeply]

Ooh, boy! Stirring is the pits.

What else is on the schedule for today?

Oh, man!

I'm sorry, elbow.

A crystal ball. Maybe it can show me if I'm on the right track.

No, don't be tempted.

It's your first day. Make a good impression.

Whoa!

You will be in trouble very soon.

Wow! Wait, what'd you say?

Ahem!

But I wasn't studying other subjects! I uh...

Fog brew!

Yeah. I figured that wouldn't work.

Nyah.

King! Vouch for my character!

Uh, right! I don't know you!

[gasps]

What is this place?

This is a place where all troublemakers go.

The detention track.

[gasps]

[Luz yelling] No!

Detention track? But this can't be possible, I‐I thought I‐‐

Yes. Actual detention still needs... repairs.

In the meantime, I am keeping all troublemakers far away from the eyes of the inspector.

You may try for a new track next year.

But I'll be back in the human world by then.

Maybe you'll do better in a human school.

Hello, fellow detentioners. Room for one more?

I like the little spikeys in your hair.

Hey! You all better be quiet

unless you want to scrub the classroom again.

Hey, don't blame any of them. I'm the one that started talking.

Oh, hurray. A hero.

Aw, farts.

Time to scrounge through the trashc‐‐ [yelps]

[slurps]

[teacher] That's it! I'm sick of someone

eating all the donuts in the teacher's lounge.

I quit!

[grunting]

Nyah!

Are you our substitute?

Substitute? I ain't no desk jockey.

Look at his professional‐looking tie! He must be!

Nyah! Can it, fangs!

You don't know diddly dang about squiddly squat!

[stammers] Uh, yes, sir! Sorry, sir!

Obedience? Well, what is a teacher if not an authority figure?

A king of children, if you will.

Yes! I am your teacher! You may call me Mr. King!

All right, kids. Who wants to go on a field trip to the astral planes?

‐Yay! ‐I do.

I do.

[Willow] Luz!

Oh, my gosh! I missed you so much.

Let me squeeze your faces.

What's going on? We didn't see you in any classes.

Principal bump put me in the detention track for mixing magic.

The detention track? You can't do anything in there.

You'll learn less than you did before.

No, I'm better than this.

Please, you gotta help me break out.

Yeah, don't worry. We'll get you out, dead or alive!

Okay. Alive.

‐Aw, you guys. ‐[screaking]

It's the teacher. Gotta go.

[gasps] It's you. Shh.

[snoring]

Whoa.

What is this place?

This is the last room you'll ever see alive.

Ah, just messing with ya. I'm Viney.

I'm terrified. Um, I mean... I'm Luz.

Thanks for standing up for us back there. Not many people would do that.

Follow me! I wanna show you something.

You're one of us troublemakers now,

so you get special access to...

The Secret Room of Shortcuts!

Whoa. Hey Jerbo! Barcus! You can stop hiding now!

How do we know she's cool, man?

How do we know she won't turn us in?

‐What do you think? ‐[barks]

Barcus says your aura is strong and silly,

like a baby's laughter.

Welcome!

Hah! I love secret rooms!

Where do the doors go?

So, you two go to the same school now.

That doesn't change anything.

[sighs] Huh?

This place connects the different parts of the school.

We found it after being thrown in the detention track.

The witch who made it is known as...

Lord Calamity.

They started this troublemaker wall

and we added our names in their honor.

This place is amazing.

I bet you guys can get into so much trouble in here.

[chuckles] Sure, we can, but we can also do so much more.

Remember, seeing the end of a life

is the beginning of reading a fortune.

We have to work backwards from it to see the truth.

We're not allowed to study any kind of magic.

So we study every kind of magic in secret.

You actually like school?

Yeah. We might have liked it too much.

[Jerbo] I tried mixing plant magic with abominations.

[groans]

Bump was not thrilled.

Barcus makes potions with oracle magic.

Argh!

[screams]

[Viney] Mixing healing and beast keeping was slightly unconventional.

But Puddles was a great assistant, dang it!

We all want to be in more than one coven track!

But Bump just says we need to focus.

Sounds like Bump's priorities are out of whack.

[chuckles] I'm glad you're one of us.

You made a great first impression.

Would you like to add your name to the troublemaker wall?

Aw!

[Willow] Luz?

We're here to get you out of that horrible class.

Eh, they're probably looking for some other Luz.

Maybe she already booked it.

She did say she was better than this place.

Oh.

You think you're better than us?

No, no. It's not like that.

I just didn't think I deserved‐‐

I mean, none of us deserve‐‐

Jacques!

I should've known you'd look down on us.

Everyone else does.

It's fine, I just...

I thought someone finally understood us.

But... maybe you should just leave.

‐[Barcus whines] ‐I understand.

[snoring]

Man, this guy can sleep through anything.

I'm gonna test that theory.

No. We have to find Luz.

If only these walls could talk...

Hey, guys. Thank you, walls!

We found a way to get you out to talk to Principal Bump.

We have an expert disguise! Hop in!

It's got holes for your gangly teenaged legs.

Yeah. That's right where I belong.

And this way the inspector won't see you either.

[gargling sounds]

Incredible.

[screams]

‐Welcome to Hexside, Inspector. ‐Greetings, Principal Bump.

If everything's in order, the Emperor's Coven will be happy to cover your repairs.

Excellent. Please come this way.

We've prepared a show with some of our finest students.

[growls]

[grunts]

And that concludes the presentation

from the abomination track.

That was some real Hexside magic, huh?

Yes, this is... good!

But let's see if your student can put up more of a fight!

Yes, yes. Oh, wait. What?

Is, uh, this part of the inspection?

Abomination, fight!

[growls]

The magic at Glandus High was tasty.

But I hope yours will be more filling.

Amity, stay back. She's an impostor!

[hisses]

[grunts]

[grunting]

[groans]

Assume a coefficient of ten, carry the two, solve for Y.

And that is the way to steal a pie from a windowsill!

Also, you can eat trash.

Finally! Some skills we can really use.

And now, for my next lesson‐‐

‐[loud growl] ‐Seriously?

It's not even fifth period yet.

Excuse me! Could you keep it down?

Mr. King's trying to mold young minds here!

[growls]

Ugh. Only 300 years until retirement.

I can see that I'm interrupting, so I'm just gonna...

[King yells]

‐[sighs] ‐Don't worry, Luz.

Once we talk to Bump, we'll get everything sorted out.

I know, but what's the point if people get hurt on the way?

That is a fair question. Here's another question.

What the heck is that?

[screaming]

[Inspector Monster chuckles]

More cute morsels!

We may be cute, but we're nobody's morsels!

[growls]

Time for a power‐up!

[grunts]

I feel so weak.

Uh...

Eat this!

[screams in agony]

I'll get you guys somewhere safe!

It burns! It burns!

Guys! I need your help!

Oh. You're back.

I'm sorry for hurting your feelings,

but please listen!

Argh! Willow.

‐[gasps] ‐What happened to them?

Something horrible is loose in the school.

Don't let it see us!

I think that's a Greater basilisk.

I heard about them in a class.

My cousin at St. Epiderm said she saw one

but those things should be extinct.

It must've attacked the other schools,

and now it's come for us. We have to do something.

But if Bump catches us mixing magic again‐‐

He'd kick us out of school.

Hexoleos are out there getting hurt

and we're the only ones who can save them.

We're troublemakers, right?

So let's get out there and make some trouble.

Hungry! Still hungry!

[growls]

[Luz] From humblest of beginnings, a hero will rise.

I've trained with the Secret Society

to discover the power of mixing magic!

I am...

Dinner!

[screams]

Viney! Do the thing! Do the thing!

Attagirl, Puddles! Jerbo, now!

On it!

Must find help.

Ooh!

[grunts]

It's all you, Barcus.

[barks]

[grunts] Where am I?

[barking]

What's he doing? What'd he say?

He's reading your palm, and your future looks bleak.

[both gasp for air]

[both gasp for air]

[bird coos]

[Luz shrieks]

You did it! You were amazing! You guys‐‐

Are in so much trouble.

Leaving your homeroom, mixing magic and‐‐ Is that a secret hideout?

[squeals]

Yeah, it is.

But let's think about this, Principal Bump.

Why would kids in the detention track

need a secret hideout?

I don't care to know the ins and outs of rascality.

But if the Emperor's Coven can send an actual inspector this time‐‐

Okay. You need coven money.

But if you have to hurt your students to get it,

what's the point?

They saved Hexside.

They should be allowed to study what they wish.

‐B‐but... ‐Do the right thing, you dingus.

All right. I'm smart enough to know when I've made a mistake.

‐Which tracks would you like to be in? ‐[gasps]

Healing and beast keeping.

Plants and abomination.

[barks]

Then so be it.

But if any of you cause more property damage,

I'm feeding you to the choosy hat.

And you?

Oh, I still can't choose.

Maybe it's crazy but I wish I can study a little bit of everything.

Whoa.

What's going on?

What is this?

Whoa‐ho!

This is so cool!

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna study everything!

You know, only one other student wanted to study every track.

Unfortunately, she was never given the opportunity.

[gasps, chuckles]

I shoulda guessed.

The coven denies knowing about the basilisk,

but that won't stop me from writing a very stern letter.

All right. Read chapters three to five on the right way to scratch yourself in public.

Spoiler alert: There's no wrong way!

[sighs] Days like these make being a teacher all worth it.

‐[Bump] You're not a teacher. ‐Nyah?

Maybe not, but I care about these kids, and nothing can change that.

[King squeals]