Original subtitles

Miss Susan.

Miss Susan.

Miss Susan?

[ring ring ring]

[ring ring ring]

Just five more minutes, Bessie.

No, ma'am. Now.

But Bessie, I feel absolutely sklonklish.

Well, you sklonklish yourself down to breakfast.

I'm getting the judge up right now.

I'm up.

Sklonklish. When I went to school,

They taught us to speak English.

Judge turner?

Judge turner.

Judge turner.

[crash]

Five more minutes.

Breakfast is ready, your honor.

What time is it?

It's a few minutes past 8:00.

Is my sister up?

Yes, miss Margaret.

She was feeling a little sklonklish this morning,

But I got her up.

Next time she tells you she feels sklonklish,

Tell her not to be a clunk.

Thanks, your honor. I dig you.

Good morning.

[ring]

Good morning, dear.

Hello?

Hi, Jerry.

No. We have to listen to a speech.

This afternoon. Good deal, Neil.

Susan, your breakfast is on the table.

Hang on a second.

Sorry I'm late, sis.

Did you sleep well?

Oh, sklonklish.

Don't be a clunk, miss Susan.

You've been coaching her.

Someone has to protect her.

Margaret, you know the case you were trying,

The old man who ran away with the 16-year-old girl...

Yes. What did you give him?

3 years.

That'll cost me $3.00.

I always bet that you won't sentence people.

That's ridiculous. How have you been doing?

You've cost me a fortune.

If you're interested in a more exact science,

You might spend some time on geometry.

I don't consider geometry a part of life.

Mr. Roberts does.

He says you're the first student he's ever had

Who defined a triangle

As two women crazy about one man.

Mr. Roberts is definitely decadent.

Is he?

Margaret.

How much?

Only $3.00.

Just as an advance on my allowance.

You're already working on 1949.

But no more betting.

Thank you very much.

I often wonder why you're so good to me.

You know I'd die for you,

Only sometimes, it's very hard living with you.

[horn honks]

The call of the wild. I've got to go.

You haven't eaten breakfast.

Thanks. Bye.

[horn honks]

I can't talk now.

Uh, Bessie.

Yes, ma'am?

Have you been following the case

I just finished about the man

Who ran away with the young girl?

Yes, ma'am, I have.

As a matter of curiosity,

Do you think my sentence was too severe?

Oh, no, ma'am.

I would have given him 10 years.

Would you?

I certainly would.

Thank you, Bessie.

I was just curious.

[horn honks]

Oh, that must be the judges.

Oh, yes.

I mustn't keep them waiting.

Oh, thank you.

Your honor.

Oh!

Good-bye, Bessie.

Good-bye, miss Margaret.

Exit woman, enter judge.

More's the pity.

Uncle matt, I take exception

To your innuendo.

I'm no problem to you.

You should concern yourself with Susan.

Oh, nothing wrong with Susan

That firm hand of a man in the house wouldn't cure.

I've been telling you that for years.

If you'd listened to me then,

You wouldn't have this problem.

And I've been telling you

I will not put up with your constant attempts

To get me married.

[knock on door]

Come in.

Good morning, good morning.

Good morning, Margaret. Good morning, Herr doctor.

Good morning, chamberlain.

Margaret, I have a present for you.

I found a copy of the rare old English writ

Of exigi facias.

Thank you, Tommy.

Oh, if that's the night-blooming exigi facias,

You can put it in a vase and water it.

You seem a little truculent this morning.

Physician, heal thyself.

See you later, Margaret.

Oh, just for the record,

I'm not as much interested in the woman getting married

As I am in making sure that she marries the right man.

You know, I don't think he likes me.

It's a sort of sixth sense one acquires

In the district attorney's office.

Oh, no, Tommy.

Uncle matt has a personal life

Beyond his job as court psychiatrist,

And occasionally the two

Become a little confused.

Yes, I guess so.

Speaking of work combined with pleasure, Margaret,

I understand you're going to review a case this morning

Involving one Richard Nugent.

I have a special interest in this--

Tommy, you know I don't like that.

And if your gift is in the nature of a bribe--

Oh, put it out of your head. I'm sorry I even brought it up.

But this man has given us a great deal of difficulty.

You'd better go where you were going,

And I'll go where I was going.

So long, Tommy.

Very well. But remember-- absit invidia.

We're ready, your honor.

All right, Mac.

Raise your right hand.

You do solemnly swear

The evidence you'll give in this matter

Of the state vs. Richard Nugent

Shall be the truth, the whole truth,

And nothing but the truth, so help you God?

Witnesses: Yes.

Step up to the bench.

Go ahead, officer.

We picked up Richard Nugent

In the vampire club, your honor,

On a radio riot call.

When we got there, there was a free-for-all.

And from what we could learn,

Nugent was at the bottom of all the trouble.

Which of you is Nugent?

Mr. Nugent isn't here, your honor.

I'm representing him.

Is he in the hospital?

No, your honor, he's out on bail.

Does he know that the hearing was for 9:00 this morning?

Oh, yes, your honor. I'm sure he'll be here.

He must have been, uh,

Unavoidably detained somewhere.

If Mr. Nugent isn't here within the next few minutes,

I shall issue a bench warrant and forfeit his bail.

But your honor--

I'll hear the evidence of the complaining witnesses.

May I have your name?

My name is Anthony Herman.

I work at the vampire club.

In what capacity?

To maintain law and order.

I throw people out that raise a disturbance

In any shape or form.

What happened last night?

Well, I just got back from the front of the house

Where I had to maintain law and order on a gentleman

That told the orchestra leader our music stunk.

When I returned to my usual post,

I became aware of loud activities and screams.

As I rushed over to maintain law and order,

A straight left catches me, as you can see.

A short time later, I'm informed

That the disturbance is over.

But there's one thing I can remember, your honor.

Mr. Nugent was the center of the disturbance.

But you didn't actually see him fighting?

Oh, he was fightin' all right.

If I ever get my hands on that guy--

Oh, you big ape. The whole thing was your fault.

[gavel pounds]

Quiet in the courtroom.

Quiet.

Your name?

Miss Agnes Prescott.

Go on.

I'm also employed

At the vampire club as an entertainer.

Huh!

A modern singer of modern songs.

I've known Mr. Nugent for some time.

I once posed for him-- in costume.

I posed for Mr. Nugent, too, in costume.

Shall I continue, your honor?

By all means.

Last night, Mr. Nugent happened to drop in

To renew our acquaintance.

And while we were having a few words at his table,

We were accosted by this here lady,

Which I resented.

Harsh words were exchanged,

And Mr. Nugent came to my defense.

That's a lie. I knew him first.

You're the one who was butting in.

Don't you call me a liar.

Please, everybody's listening!

[gavel pounds]

Just a moment.

Your client Mr. Nugent has exactly 60 seconds.

Pardon me. May I say, your honor,

That Mr. Nugent's lack of punctuality

Comes as no surprise to the district attorney's office.

Indeed?

Mr. Chamberlain has

A special interest in this case.

You see, this is the third occasion

On which this man Nugent

Has been involved in a public disturbance.

I object, your honor,

To the remarks of the district attorney.

They are intended to prejudice the court.

I think the facts in this particular case

Should be considered-- nothing else.

Your honor, I feel that it's important

For us to consider--

It's important that I consider

Only the evidence presented

In this matter.

Very well, your honor.

Don't sulk about it.

I'll move over, lady.

Good morning.

Good morning, Walters.

Morning.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Unh.

Morning.

May I assume that this is Mr. Nugent, the defendant?

I'm frankly and honestly delighted, your honor.

Is it all right for us to go ahead now?

Oh, I'm sorry, but--

I hope we haven't inconvenienced you.

Oh, no, no, no. It's just that--

I know. Your watch is slow.

Stopped. Forgot to wind it.

I don't know if you work on schedule,

Mr. Nugent, but this court does.

9:00 means 9:00.

Yes, sir. I mean, yes, your honor.

Now let's get on with this.

Did you go to the vampire club last night?

Yes. Uh, I'm, uh,

I'm doing a series of paintings on Americana,

And I'm including a night club scene.

Creating a night club scene would seem more appropriate.

However, there seems to be some doubt

As to how the fight actually started.

Well, uh...

Agnes had finished her spot.

That's a theatrical term.

It means her routine, her performance.

Thank you.

Well, we were having a drink when Florence...

We've met.

Appeared.

She, uh, on a couple of occasions,

Florence has posed for me.

I merely stopped by Mr. Nugent's table

To say hello, your honor,

And this cut-rate canary

Apparently resented my appearance.

Well, my escort--

I prefer to hear Mr. Nugent's version.

Thank you.

Now Florence�s escort appeared.

I suppose you met him, too.

He objected to Florence coming to my table.

Florence insisted on not being disturbed.

One thing led to another.

Tony slapped Florence, and I slapped Tony.

He was only defending

American womanhood, your honor.

Get that.

Florence attempted to stop the fight.

Agnes scratched Florence. Florence...

Anyone who says he remembers a fight

Punch for punch is lying.

I don't remember.

Your honor, Mr. Nugent has been in a couple of escapades before,

But believe me, never through any fault of his own.

The fact that he is an artist,

And a painter of contemporary American life,

Often places him in circumstances

That may appear unusual.

There's no reason why this court

Should give Mr. Nugent special privileges

Just because he's an artist.

Ooh, I wasn't suggesting that, your honor.

Your honor, the district attorney's office

Would like this man held over for trial.

On the basis of the evidence,

I see no reason for it.

It's obviously a fight

In which everyone participated--

Everyone is equally guilty,

And everyone is equally innocent.

I suggest that you all go home and nurse your wounds

And be a little less emotional in the future.

Thank you, your honor. May I go now?

You just got here. Don't you like our court?

Oh, sure, I like it fine.

Only, uh, I'm due to give a lecture today.

Really? What are you lecturing on?

America as I see it.

Should be very interesting.

Mr. Nugent, I've met your type before.

In fact, I might say I sentence them

Every day in the week.

If you're brought before this court again,

You won't be dealt with so leniently.

In future, I suggest that you confine your painting

To still life.

Case dismissed.

[gavel pounds]

Next case.

Don't press your luck.

I wish we didn't have to have this thing today.

I hate lectures.

If your coach told you to get plenty of exercise...

Ah, what do you be?

She's a lap-happy chick

Compared to that square from Delaware

You hung around with. Brother.

Is it ok for Saturday night, Susie?

You promised.

Promises are the hollow shells

Of undone deeds.

Well, for gosh sakes, what's that supposed to mean?

You're a nice boy, Jerry,

But you're callow.

I'm not too callow to buy you sodas

Or take you to a movie

When your allowance runs out.

Don't create a scene.

Only reason I'm not good enough for you

Is because you're looking for a knight in shining armor.

I'm competing with something medieval.

Oh, don't be a stupe.

[bell rings]

Students, members of the faculty,

Our high school is honored

In having as guest lecturer

A man who will speak to us

About the classical tradition of painting.

He's well-qualified to speak to us about painting

Because, in my opinion, he is one of America's

Foremost exponents of painting.

Students, I know you will express your enthusiasm

For his appearance here today.

And so, with no more ado,

I present Mr. Richard Nugent.

[scattered applause]

[loud applause]

[wolf whistle]

And, as we know,

A lot of people think of art as something pretty stuffy.

Don't let them kid you.

True art has something to say to everyone.

Great art unites the masses

In every age and every country.

He's handsome.

I suppose so, for an older man.

If you think art isn't functional,

Think of it in terms of history.

Each age, each era becomes visual to us

When the artist recreates it

In Stone, bronze, or on canvas.

The Essence of art is simplicity. For instance,

If I wanted to capture the feeling of America,

It wouldn't be necessary to go looking

For towering mountains or fields of wheat and grain.

I'd try to put America on canvas

In the picture of one of you--

In your denims with the cuffs rolled up

And the shirt open at the neck.

You'd be young, eager, and proud

Because of what's ahead of you.

You're the kids who, in a few years,

Are gonna be running our factories,

Our farms, our businesses.

They're gonna be voting

To make this country what you want it to be--

A place where there's good will

A place where there's freedom...

You feeling all right?

Opportunity and tolerance.

So if I were going to do a portrait of one of you,

I'd try to convey all that in it, too.

Thank you.

Mr. Nugent.

Mr. Nugent. Mr. Nugent.

My name is Susan turner.

I'm a student here.

No!

Yes. I loved your speech.

Thank you.

Good-bye, Mr. Nugent.

[wolf whistle]

Well, nice to have met you, miss--

But you don't understand.

I have to interview you.

You what?

For the high school paper.

I'm the editor-in-chief.

Shall we go somewhere where we can be alone?

Well, I'd like to, but--

You know, it isn't every day

That we have a famous artist here.

I bet you've had a terribly interesting life.

Not very. Look, could we do this some other time?

I have a date, you see.

Then you're not married.

No.

Oh, I knew you weren't. You just couldn't be.

Oh, I've had some offers.

It's this way.

We can talk in here.

Yes, but don't you see, I--I--

Please?

Have you ever been married?

No.

Have you ever been in love?

Yes, I have.

Tell me, what kind of paper does this school run?

Oh, all the students read it.

I'll bet they do.

You probably have no idea

What an unusual person you are.

I--I can see it.

I'm really much older than I look.

These are merely the vestments I don

As a concession to our outworn

Educational anachronism.

But I know what the artistic soul is like

And how keenly it can suffer.

Did you have many ordeals

Before you became a success?

No, I--

You can talk to me.

I want you to think of me

Not as a newspaperwoman,

But as a friend.

Well, in that case, I'll tell you.

I did suffer.

When I was 10, my mother and father

Had a double suicide pact.

They made it.

I was sent to an orphanage.

Some days they didn't beat me.

Then one night I escaped.

I ran away to new York.

I used to steal.

What did you steal?

Mmm, beg your pardon?

What did you steal?

Crusts of bread and things.

One time, I stole a valise.

There were paints and paintbrushes inside,

So I began to paint.

Then they got me.

I was sent to a reform school,

But I escaped again.

Go on.

Back to new York.

A wealthy society lady saw my work,

Fell in love with me,

And sent me to art school.

The rest is history.

How wonderful.

How terribly wonderful.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must rest.

Of course.

Good-bye, Miss Kilgallen.

Turner. Susan turner.

Oh, by the way, you remember what you said

About painting one of us? America

And the waving grain and everything?

Yes, I do.

Well, do you think I'd make a good model?

Oh, you're not thinking of quitting the newspaper game?

Oh, that's merely a stopping gap.

My family wants me to go into law,

But I don't want to be a portia.

Portia, hmm. Well, that's something

You and your family can straighten out.

Well, my attitude is that

One female judge in the family is enough.

Did you say your name was turner?

That's right.

My sister is judge Margaret turner.

Nice to have met the family. Bye.

What about my posing for you?

What about young America?

Fine.

Then you think I'm ideal?

Sure, you'd make a good model sometime.

Well, thanks for the interview. Bye.

Not good-bye.

Au revoir.

Au revoir.

Something wrong?

That picture. It's hideous.

It's a very nice picture.

It has absolutely no simplicity.

It's so--so busy.

True art should unite the masses,

In every age, in every country.

Mm-hmm.

Who lectured at school today?

What does that have to do with it?

Everything. Last month,

You wanted to be a designer.

Then a naturalist gave a lecture,

And you thought it would be very nice

To be the first female deep-sea diver.

Last week, you wanted to be a psychiatrist.

And now you find our painting's offensive.

What does this artist look like?

He's wonderful. I interviewed him.

I've never seen anyone in armor before.

Very few people have, Susan.

But you don't know how wonderful he is.

He's had to lie and cheat and steal

To get somewhere in life.

That makes everything just dandy.

What's the name of this shining knight?

Richard Nugent.

Richard Nugent.

Richard Nugent?

Have you heard of him?

Heard of him? We have a permanent courtroom

Set aside for him.

How dare the board of education

Allow him to lecture in a public school!

Well, what are you getting so excited about?

All he did was talk about art,

And he was very good.

Perhaps you're right.

I suppose there's nothing wrong

In his lecturing

If it's sponsored by the school.

Have you ever thought of me as a model?

I can't honestly say that I have. Why?

Dickie wants me to pose for him.

Oh, isn't that nice.

Dickie!

Now don't be unreasonable, Margaret.

He's really a very fine man.

You don't know him at all.

I know enough about him to advise you

To go back to deep-sea diving.

I don't need your advice.

I'm your sister and your guardian.

I'm acting in your own best interests.

You're gonna make me an old maid.

Only until you're 18.

When a suitable young man comes along,

I'll be happy to see you married.

Yes, and you'll probably make him

Pass a lie detector test first.

I want you to forget all about Mr. Nugent.

Oh, that's easy for you to say.

Why don't you write out a court order?

[knock on door]

Good evening, Mr. Chamberlain.

Top of the evening to you, Bessie.

Is the lady of the house in?

The lady of the house is practically out.

Hello, your honor.

Only a moment, Tommy.

Are you all right?

Oh, I'm fine. Just fine.

I'm sorry about our--

Oh, it's all right. It was really nothing.

I'm just fine.

I'll be home early.

Be a good girl.

See you in the morning.

Good-bye. Have a good time.

Do I detect an air of trouble?

I never enjoy quarreling with Susan.

A girl her age is entitled to growing pains, isn't she?

Yes, but Susan's growing pains

Are rapidly becoming a major disease.

[door closes]

Can I be of any assistance?

What apartment is Mr. Nugent in?

He isn't in any apartment.

Doesn't he live here?

Sure, but he isn't home.

Anything I can do for you?

Thank you. I'll wait.

Is he expecting you?

I'm going to pose for him.

Oh. Do you want to wait upstairs?

Do you think it would be all right?

Sure. I'll take you up.

You're new around here.

Yes.

I'm 15.

I'm 17.

That's ok. I like older women.

Mademoiselle.

Here we are.

Some layout, huh?

This is where he lives.

I'd like to hang around, but I got work to do.

Make yourself at home.

When did you first discover that she was gone?

About dinner time. When I want to call her,

She wasn't in her room.

What time was that?

About a quarter past 7:00.

Did she leave a note?

I didn't find any.

Were there any signs of a struggle?

Stop conducting this like a criminal investigation.

Bessie, you may go.

Thank you, ma'am.

You're the assistant district attorney.

Why don't you do something?

Margaret, I gotta have some clues to go on.

So far, we've only been able

To send out a description.

Have you checked the hospitals?

Yes, my men have checked the hospitals, the airports,

The railroad stations, the bus terminals.

Have you called all her friends?

Hours ago. She had a date

With a boy named Jerry white.

When he got here, she'd already gone.

[telephone rings]

Hello?

It's for you.

Hello. Yes, chamberlain speaking.

No, she was alone.

Yes, keep a man there.

And Keighly, check the morgue. Right.

I'm sorry, Margaret. It's just a matter of routine.

I remember a very important murder case

Where the body was found--

Tommy, if anything's happened to Susan,

I'll never forgive myself.

I shouldn't have quarreled with her.

What did you quarrel about?

It was nothing. I told her

She couldn't pose for Richard Nugent.

And she said she didn't need my advice,

That she was--

[whistling]

[hums]

...Aggravated by the imponderables

Of international currency fluctuations--

[music plays]

[whistles]

Hello, Mr. Nugent.

Dickie, hello.

[knock on door]

Come on, let us in!

[knocking continues]

And now we bring you del minelli

And that sensational swoon tune

Fast ride in a patrol wagon.

[music plays]

[siren]

Tell me exactly what happened.

Hmm. If I knew exactly what happened,

I wouldn't be here.

Give me a rough idea.

Where were you when they finally let me

Use the telephone around here last night?

Where were you?

I had not anticipated

Your winding up in jail.

I have a life of my own, you know?

[chuckles] I'm so sorry.

I hope I haven't inconvenienced you.

Oh, not at all.

Sleep well? A good breakfast and everything?

Let's have the facts.

Sit down.

Get a load of this.

I got home to my apartment last night.

That much I know.

And this girl was there.

At least, I think she was there.

I guess she was. I don't know.

Judge turner's sister?

Yes, that's the girl.

Young girl?

What did you say?

Young girl?

Too young.

Nugent. Why don't you tell me the truth?

I am telling you the truth.

Now will you be quiet for a moment?

That's what happened last night.

Nobody listened to me. I couldn't explain.

Now, please.

All right. I got home to my apartment last night.

I went up to my bedroom.

Took off my dinner coat. Wanted to be comfortable.

Put on a robe.

Came downstairs. Turned on the radio.

Got a nice highball.

Opened a book. Sat down to read the book,

When up popped this little girl!

Now, the little girl popped up.

There's a banging at the door.

Everybody yelling. Somebody busts in.

Everybody starts talking at once.

Did the girl-- don't listen

To an explanation. They're all mad!

Did the girl explain why she was there?

Yes. Well, she tried to explain,

But they wouldn't really let her explain.

She kept trying to say she'd come up there

To be a model or something.

That's about all I know about that.

Did you, or did you not

Invite her up there to be a model?

Well, yes. In a roundabout way,

I guess I did. I guess I did.

She kept saying that I told her

I was going to paint her as young America.

Did you tell her that?

Oh, I told that to 500 little girls.

Well, uh, let's not go into that.

You're charged with hitting

The district attorney.

Did you, or did you not hit him?

I hit him. That's right.

But at the time I hit him,

I did not know he was

The assistant district attorney!

If I had known he was

The assistant district attorney...

I would have hit him.

He said some bad things. Some very bad things.

Wouldn't give me a Chance to explain.

Kept pulling on my arm.

Wouldn't let the little girl explain.

And that sister of hers, that's a mountain of ice,

A gallon of poison, jumping to conclusions!

Control yourself, now. Control yourself, Nugent.

I'll see what I can do for you.

If worse comes to worse,

Maybe I can get your sentence reduced.

But you have got to remember coherently

Exactly what happened.

Oh, sure.

If you talk like this in front of a court,

You'd get 20 years.

Oh, my--

I'm ready to go now.

Coherently. Exactly.

Coherently. Exactly. Coherently. Exactly.

See you later. You'll know me.

I'll be dressed like a lawyer.

High school. High school. Little girl.

Model.

Mr. Nugent, you got a visitor.

This is Dr. Beemish.

Mr. Nugent?

Just a second. Just a second.

Now, let me see.

I am the court psychiatrist.

Come back in an hour. I'll be crazy by then.

I'm really here to help you.

The only thing you're suffering from

Is a severe case

Of being an innocent bystander.

Sit down, doctor.

Thank you.

May I offer you a drink?

No, thank--

Cigar?

No, no. I'm fine, thanks.

This cell comfortable?

Well, I don't quite know.

I haven't anything to compare it with.

This is my first time.

Oh. Well, on the whole,

I think you'll find

Our western penology system

Is quite modern.

Well, that's a load off my mind.

Tell me, what can they do to me if I kill a judge?

I understand how you feel.

I'm aware that judge turner

Appears to be a very dominant woman,

But her dominance is actually a retreat.

Is that so?

Yeah, we call it a manifestation

Of the oedipus complex.

As Menninger so clearly points out,

Traumatic events seem to--

The only traumatic event she needs

Is a good smack in the jaw.

She's my niece.

Hmm.

But you're absolutely right.

Judge turner's ready for you, doctor.

Oh. Thank you.

Now, you just leave things

In my hands, Mr. Nugent.

And I daresay you'll be surprised

At the results.

Daresay.

I have a plan.

Just had a talk with Nugent.

He seems to be quite a nice fellow.

Sure you were talking to the right man?

Why, certainly.

About 6 feet, broad shoulders,

Blue eyes...

He has brown eyes.

Oh, has he?

Margaret, have you made any

Definite plans about Nugent?

It isn't my case.

Judge Treadwell is reviewing the evidence.

And whatever he does is all right with me.

Oh.

Well, I hope Treadwell doesn't go too far.

I won't be responsible for Susan.

You were saying?

Susan's in love,

Or thinks she is, with this man.

And if things take their normal course,

The incident will become

No more than an adolescent attachment

For an older man. In a few weeks,

She will have forgotten all about him.

But if they send him to prison on her account,

It will martyr him in Susan's eyes.

The affair will turn into a tragedy

She'll never get over.

Oh, nonsense.

You don't understand Susan.

She's not like other children.

She's old for her age and levelheaded.

She's above that sort of silliness.

[knock on door]

I'm sorry to bother you, judge turner,

But this lady came to visit Mr. Nugent.

She claims to be your sister and his mother.

Susan.

I just wanted to talk to him, Margaret.

About the steel business.

She baked this.

Thank you, Melvin.

What's happening to you?

I'm in love with him. Don't you realize that?

If I lose him, life has no meaning.

I love him.

How about a reversal?

You win.

[knock on door]

Come in.

Here's Mr. Nugent.

Hello, Richard.

Well, you don't look any the worse for wear.

Prison agrees with me.

Mr. Nugent, I have good news.

You're going to hang me.

I'm afraid I'm the one who ought to be hanged.

Won't I sit down?

Please do. I believe you know Dr. Beemish.

Yes, uh...

This is judge Treadwell.

How do you do?

Oh, how do you do?

You know assistant district attorney chamberlain.

It's nice to see you again.

Sorry about that little misunderstanding.

Forget it. Just a bit of temper.

That's very generous of you.

Not at all, Nugent.

I'm afraid I lost my temper, too, last night.

I hope you'll pardon me.

Oh, that's all right. I hope you'll pardon me.

I want to thank you for holding

This preliminary hearing in camera.

Perfectly all right, Chester.

In view of Mr. Nugent's reputation,

I see no reason for exposing him

To any unnecessary publicity.

Un, I think this little incident

Can be straightened out amicably

If the assistant district attorney

Doesn't wish to press charges.

I wouldn't want to see

A man of Mr. Nugent's talents in jail.

Well, thank you. I guess

I'm free to go then, huh? Thank you.

Uh, just a moment.

I believe judge turner has a suggestion?

Anything.

Yes, it isn't really much.

You see, I'm a little worried about Susan.

Oh, yeah.

She's become quite enamored of you, Mr. Nugent.

Well, it's...

And we were wondering if you'd mind helping us

By taking her out.

Oh, I'd be glad to-- doing what?

Being her Beau, just until she gets over you.

You see, Dr. Beemish says

She mustn't feel you're being martyred.

Oh, he does, does he?

Well, let Dr. Beemish take her out!

Tell her get over him!

I'm not a judge. But I'll bet

There's no law that says

I have to go out with children!

Now, now, no one is trying

To force you to do anything, Mr. Nugent.

We were hoping that you'd want to cooperate.

Why should I?

Because your attitude will, uh,

Have a decided bearing on the disposition

Of the other charges against you

If the assistant district attorney

Chooses to press them.

Press what? All I did

Was punch him in the nose.

Mr. Walters, if you were a judge,

And a man was brought before you

Who had enticed a 17-year-old girl

To his apartment on the pretext

Of painting her portrait,

And when her family protested,

Brutally assaulted the assistant district attorney,

What would you do to this man?

Why, I'd give him 20 years.

Exactly what I'd do.

Wait a minute. Which side are you on?

You haven't proved it.

Yeah, you haven't proved it.

We will.

That's up to the jury to decide.

Mr. Walters, if you were a judge,

And this same man realized

That this young girl was unfortunately in love with him

And agreed to cooperate fully

To help her get over him,

Wouldn't you be inclined to be lenient?

I certainly would.

I think I'd drop the charges.

Exactly what I'd do.

What do I have to do?

You'll see Susan as often as we deem proper.

As soon as your fatal fascination wears off,

You're free to go on your way.

What if it doesn't wear off?

It will.

Oh. Hmm.

Mr. Nugent.

Please don't have any illusions about this matter.

I'm doing this against my better judgment.

I would just as soon

My sister were going out with an actor.

Judge turner doesn't exactly mean that.

Oh, I was just wondering.

She means as head of the psychiatric clinic,

That I've recommended you as a vital therapy measure.

Hmm. That's great.

Recommended for children.

Get him.

This row's reserved for the faculty

And important members of the student body.

I hope you like basketball.

Crazy about it.

[whistle blows]

Good evening, Susan.

Geometry getting straightened out?

Yes, Mr. Mittwick.

Your handkerchief, Mr. Mittwick.

Oh, thank--

Oh, you must be a new boy.

We'll probably be

Running into each other.

I gave a lecture here on art.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

You're in Miss Hallop's class.

Excellent teacher.

Excellent.

[whistle blows]

There they go!

[whistle blows]

[whistle blows]

S-s-s-u-n...

S-s-s-e-t.

S-u-n-s-e-t.

Sunset. Sunset. Sunset!

Rah.

We had a much better team last season,

But our star center graduated.

Too bad.

I think our new center

Needs more experience.

Oh, at least.

He used to be

Sort of a boyfriend of mine.

What?

Oh, until I met you.

You mean that fine-looking young man

Who smiled at you?

Number 7?

Yes, that's the one.

He's just a child.

Is he in love with you?

Oh, I suppose so.

But you needn't be jealous, Richard.

He's really terribly unsophisticated.

Hmm.

[whistle blows] oh! Aw!

Christoff for white.

White out.

Sit it out for a while

And get your mind back on the game.

Yes, sir.

Yes, fine figure of a man.

I'd like to meet him.

That can be arranged.

That's a great game you're playing, mister, uh...

Jerry white, Richard Nugent.

How do you do?

Usually my game is much better,

But it's kind of off lately.

You know, personal troubles?

It's too bad that when schools

Depend on their athletes

To give their very best,

That certain athletes

Are selfishly concerned

With their own problems

Instead of beating Peeby high.

Oh, I don't know, Susan.

Why don't we all get together and talk it over?

How about joining us for a drink--

Uh, I mean, a soda after the game?

You really mean that?

Certainly.

Well, gee, I'd love to.

Thanks, Mr. Nugent.

I'm feelin' a lot better now, coach.

I sure would like to get back in the game.

All right, go in for Barthman.

Thanks.

Team, team, fight, fight, fight!

White for Barthman.

Barthman out.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

[blows whistle]

Yay!

Come on, sunset!

Hooray!

What a player!

Hooray!

Thank you.

You know, I feel sorry for Jerry.

You do? Why?

I used to play lots of basketball

When I was a kid-- about 20 years ago.

Oh, I'll bet you were wonderful.

Not nearly as good as Jerry.

And I know a champ when I see one.

He's off his game because of you.

You think so?

I know so.

It's awful what a woman can do to a man.

Well, look at history.

Caesar and Cleopatra...

Napoleon and Josephine.

All of them.

Behind every defeated man,

There's a frustrated love.

You're right.

You bet I'm right.

And I promise, all my life,

Never to hurt you.

It was a tough game.

Oh, hello, Jerry.

But we won.

Certainly through no help from you, Mr. White.

Oh, you're wrong Susan,

I thought he played a splendid game.

No, he didn't.

Yes, he did. No, I didn't.

What will you have?

I'm not very hungry.

I'll just have a double sweetheart flip.

Aren't you supposed to be in training?

Sometimes a man just doesn't care.

See?

I know how you feel.

You do, huh? Mmm.

Well, I may as well level with you, Mr. Nugent.

When Susan told me about you and her, I was sore.

You can't blame me, can you?

When I saw you tonight,

My first instinct was to take a poke at you.

Jerry!

Let me finish. I thought about it,

Then I said to myself, let's be civilized.

This is life, and if Susan feels that way,

It's all right with me.

That's big of you, Jerry, and very generous.

I don't see why we can't still be friends.

Of course we can.

No matter what happens.

That's the way I feel, and dick and I

Will always treasure your friendship.

If I can do anything for either of you,

All you have to do is call Jerry.

If we can ever do anything for you,

All you have to do is just ask.

Yeah, get in touch, you know?

Well, I guess it's good-bye, Jerry.

I guess it is.

Guess it is.

Oh, and Susan...

Yes, dear?

Now it isn't becoming

For you to call me dear and darling and all that.

I don't think it's right.

Why, darling?

Uh-uh, now stop that.

Listen, the basketball game was fun tonight,

But it can't go on.

Yes, I know. The season's over next week.

No, no, no, Susan. Now wait a minute, wait a minute.

I mean, the whole thing can't go on.

Now listen, you got me into all this trouble.

You came up to my apartment.

You told your sister I asked you to pose for me.

Well, that's true in a way.

Now that isn't so, and you know it.

Now let's not argue about it.

The point is that everyone now has the crazy idea

That you're in love with me.

I am.

Look at me.

Susan, I, uh...

I wouldn't say this to many people,

But I'm old enough to be your father.

You're so right, dear.

Honey, you've got to realize

That this, uh... This isn't, um...

Proper for either of us.

You're so right, dear.

Well, it's not only going to--

Step!

Thanks. Not only going to embarrass me,

But it's going to embarrass you, too. Believe me.

You're so right, dear.

Susan, you're in a rut.

You're not paying any attention to me.

You're so right, dear.

Well...

Good evening, Susan. Good evening, Nugent.

Glad to see you kids home early.

We're not home yet.

We will be in a second.

Did you have a good time?

Was the game fun?

How would you like a cigarette?

I'm not allowed to smoke yet.

Sorry I haven't any bubble gum.

Good night, Tommy.

Oh, Nugent, by the way, we're having

A little birthday party Saturday for my niece.

We'd love to have you come. She'll be 6.

How's your jaw?

Fine. Why?

Because the worst I can get 90 days.

Temper, temper.

Dickie, please.

Well... Toodle-oo, kids.

Hello, Margaret.

Hello, Susan.

Good evening, Mr. Nugent.

Good evening.

That's the new dress.

Yes. Like it?

Oh, it's beautiful.

It's too bad you had to go

To that dreary dinner

For some lawyer.

It was a very nice party.

Did you enjoy yourself?

Oh, we had a simply sensational time.

I think you'd better turn in now. School tomorrow.

You have to get up early.

Yes, of course.

Good night, Dickie.

Good night, Susan.

Good night, Margaret.

Good night, dear.

Good night, Dickie.

Good night, Susan.

Well, uh, good night.

Good night.

You know, that is a beautiful dress,

And you look wonderful in it.

Thank you.

You said that gracefully--

Perhaps the result of practice.

You said that ungraciously--

Perhaps the result of practice. Hmm?

I had that coming.

Got a moment?

Yes.

Well...

That's right.

My mother was quite a remarkable woman.

She taught piano.

Oddly enough, children liked to take lessons from her.

Well, anyway, I had a habit of reading a lot of books

She didn't want me to read

And not reading books she wanted me to read.

Well, I'd say that was a perfectly

Healthy, normal attitude.

Uh-huh. Well, one day, downstairs, I found a book

That had a very racy title.

So I sneaked it up to my room.

Started to read it.

I kept on reading for a long time.

It was awful dull. I kept on with it.

And then suddenly, I discovered

Mother had stuck a philosophy book

Underneath that paper cover with the racy title.

Anyway, I waded through the thing, hoping for the best,

And although I never did come across anything exciting,

I learned quite a lot about philosophy.

I suppose that's one way of learning something.

Yeah, isn't it?

Well, I learned something else, simple but true.

Never judge a book by its cover.

All is not gold that glitters.

Things may not be what they appear to be.

That's very interesting, Mr. Nugent.

My father was a judge.

When he gave me a book about law,

I knew it was going to be about law.

Ah, yes, yes.

And when you meet a man who's labeled "artist,"

You know he's going to be

All you think an artist is supposed to be.

Concerning you,

I sat in judgment on a series of facts,

Not on your character or biography.

Ah, well, I just took the long way around

To tell you that when I said

That was a beautiful dress,

And you look wonderful in it,

I sincerely meant it.

I'm sorry.

I've never been subjected

To so much charm before.

Well, I'm afraid we're wasting

A perfectly beautiful Moon,

And, uh, I'm keeping you up.

Good night.

Uh, we'll see you on Saturday.

You're coming to take Susan to the picnic.

Yes, yes, yes, I'll be here. Don't worry.

With my very best Saturday picnic charm.

Good night, your honor.

Good night.

Hiya, Jerry.

Oh, hi, Mr. Nugent.

Why are you doing out here?

Oh, you know how it is--

Try to get Susan out of your system.

Yeah, I know how it is. Why don't you go on inside?

I'm not welcome inside.

Oh, don't be silly.

Susan probably doesn't know you're out here all alone.

She put me here.

Oh, oh.

I'm a square in Susan's social circle.

It's not her fault, I guess.

It's her uncle, judge Thaddeus.

Have you met him yet?

No.

Oh, he's something fierce.

I walked in, and all I said was

"mellow greetings, ukie-dukie,"

And he almost blew a fuse.

Well, what's wrong with that? It sounds ok to me.

Oh, I don't know. I guess

He's been around lawyers so long,

He's forgotten how people talk.

Sure. Mellow greetings, ukie--

Are you going to the picnic?

Well, I was, but--

How'd you like to use my car?

You're kidding.

No. I'd like to borrow yours. Does it run?

Oh, sure.

Where are the keys?

You don't need a key.

Oh. Well, here are the keys to mine.

Jiminy. Thanks, Mr. Nugent.

See you at the picnic.

Boy, she sure is a honey.

Just a later model.

[doorbell buzzes]

Oh, that must be Richard Nugent.

And who the devil is Richard Nugent?

He's older.

He's come to take Susan to the picnic.

I think you'll like him.

How in blazes do you know?

I haven't seen him yet!

Hi!

Mellow greetings, ukie-dukie.

Dickie!

Ready, voot? Let's scoot!

Reet! Reet.

Hey, you remind me of a man. What man?

The man with the power.

What power? Power of hoodoo.

Who do? You do.

Do what?

Remind me of a man.

What man?

Good morning.

Greetings, greetings.

Are you out of your mind?

No, what? What?

What are you trying to do?

I don't dig you, chick.

What are you whispering about?

Hi, uncle matt! How's the light operator?

May I present

My great-uncle, judge turner?

How do you do, judge?

Ooh, this isn't a pump handle!

He's sharp. Hey, you remind me of a man.

What man?

The man with the power.

What power? Power of hoodoo.

Who do? You do.

Do what? Remind me of a man.

Remind you--oh!

Judge turner's an associate Justice

Of the state supreme court.

Good for you, Junior.

Better than working for a living.

Uh, aren't we going to be late for the picnic?

Yes, we are.

I'm your little pepper shaker.

The hot rod's outside.

Come on, Thaddeus.

Hmm. You remind me of a man.

Who do?

No, I'm supposed to say that!

All right, go ahead.

But that's Jerry's car.

Just looks like it.

What's this?

A friend of mine made it. It's a voot-eight.

Eight more payments and it's mine!

You expect me to ride in that?

Throw your frame in!

Margaret, I want to talk to you.

No, Thaddeus.

I'd rather stay home.

There's no time for talk now.

Come on, come on.

Oh, this is nonsense.

Here's the basket, dear.

Thank you.

Hot vooterenie!

Yay!

[car backfires]

Nice car you got here, Richard.

Thank you.

Oh, I just hope you come up before me sometime.

Must run in your family.

Oh, oh.

Hello, Tommy.

Margaret, I've been waiting for you.

I'm sorry. We were delayed.

Hi, Mr. Chambers. Look out for your thumb.

Well, if it isn't the Junior set.

Hello, uncle Thaddeus.

How do you-- ooh...My back.

Uncle Thaddeus, can I get something for you?

Yes, get me a nice seat

That doesn't bounce.

We can eat our lunch over there.

Come on, Dickie.

I'm as hungry as a bear. Let's join the ants!

Ladies and gentlemen!

The first events of the afternoon

Are the novelty races,

Open to adults, parents, and friends!

Come on, everybody, win...

I used to be pretty good at these things

When I was a kid.

Well, why don't you get in?

It's open to parents.

I'm not a parent.

What's the matter? Too old now, chamberlain?

'course not.

'course not.

All right, then, I will.

How about you?

Don't be silly.

Oh, Dickie, you must. I want a medal.

Get her a medal.

Oh, too old, eh?

Oh, to run in a sack race?

There's nothing to it.

Then go in there and show them, Dickie.

All right, I will.

Hold that.

Hold this.

Snap it up, boys. Give the man his sack!

Let's go down to the finish line.

I wanna see Dickie when he comes in first.

Coming, uncle matt?

No, no. You go ahead. I'll wait right here.

Two more lanes open!

Who'll step up?

Thank you, gentlemen!

Step right up and get yourself a sack.

Ok, Jack, you all set?

All right, steady now.

Ready, gentlemen?

On your marks.

Get set.

Oh! Oh!

All right, ladies and gentlemen,

We're all set for the start

Of the spectacular 3-legged race,

One of the most hilarious events of the program.

Now come on, you folks down the sidelines,

Pick out your favorite

And cheer him down to the finish line!

All right, Jack. On your marks...

Get set...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Yow!

All right, everybody,

We're all set for the spoon and potato race.

On your marks...

Get set...

Oh, Dickie.

Disqualified!

You've got to cross the line on your feet!

On your marks.

Get set.

Both: Come on, Dickie.

Come on, Dickie.

Ohh.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is it!

This is the main event of the afternoon!

You are about to witness

The spectacular obstacle race--

A supreme test

Of skill, stamina, and endurance!

Oh.

Come on, Dickie. Stand up.

I can't pin it when you're sitting down.

Don't you think you've had enough?

Not for me.

We've just begun to fight.

Just begun to fight.

Will you hold these medals

For me, uncle Thad?

I don't want to be handicapped

With any excess weight.

Everybody get ready!

All contestants report to the starting line.

Come on, Dickie. I know you can win this time.

Sure. Sure.

This is the last call!

Hi, Mr. Nugent.

Oh, hello, Jerry. Where have you been?

I've been trying out

That super jalopy of yours. Hi, Susan.

Hi, Jerry. Now remember, Dickie,

You've got to win me that cup.

Mm-hmm. Good luck.

You going in the race?

Yup.

May the best man win.

He will.

I'm beginning to worry about him.

Why? He's got courage-- a man's man.

I hope he wins.

Come on, now. Everybody ready!

For Susan's sake.

Of course.

Everybody line up!

Let's go down to the finish line.

Everybody in the obstacle race!

All right, all you contestants

Take your places on the starting line.

And remember...

Anyone who fails to take a single obstacle

Is disqualified!

On your marks...

Get set...

[starter pistol fires]

Keep going, Mr. Nugent!

Keep going, Mr. Nugent, keep going!

Aah!

Oh!

Oh!

Excuse me, I slipped.

You pushed me!

Oh, it was nothing-- just a race.

Congratulations, Mr. Nugent.

Everybody over to the bandstand

For the grand award!

You were wonderful, Dickie.

The grand award, Mr. Nugent.

That's you!

Oh, sure... The grand reward.

Thanks a lot, Jerry, for letting Dickie win.

That's ok.

Pay the boys Saturday--

75 cents apiece.

If it was anyone but you,

They'd have charged a buck.

I'll pay you Saturday, too.

Well, I don't want any of your money.

Some things just can't be bought.

You know, Jerry,

At times, you're really very nice.

Quiet, please.

Quiet, everyone.

It gives me great pleasure

To present this beautiful trophy

And medal to that great athlete

And winner of the feature event,

Mr. Richard Nugent.

Crowd, cheering: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!

Uh...I don't know how this happened to me.

But, uh...

I guess I owe it all

To, uh, clean living, proper outlook,

And the help of my friends.

[band plays]

What a wonderful day.

What a wonderful picnic.

Oh, I feel wonderful.

Uncle Thaddeus, let's dance.

No.

No.

Susan, your youthful exuberance

Is very tiring.

Margaret, I'm going upstairs

And take a hot bath.

Ahh, life.

Susan, I think you better rest for a while.

You've had a busy day,

And you're going to a dance tonight.

Quite right, but I would like this day

To never end.

I'd like everything to stay

Suspended and beautiful.

Well, you can leave everything suspended,

After I sit down.

I'll take it, Margaret.

No, I think you'd better go up now.

All right, sis.

Uh, what's wrong?

Nothing's wrong.

Uh...

A very odd thing

Happened to me today, uncle matt.

I think it's very simple to explain.

Optical illusions have been known to, uh, uh...

Or the power of suggestion through Susan.

These things have been, uh...

Well, uh...

Obviously, what happened to me

Was a combination of the heat,

A too hurried lunch, and all the excitement.

Of course.

I think it was merely a question

Of my thinking that I thought

I saw him. You understand?

Oh, sure. That's all perfectly clear.

The same thing has happened to me--

In view of this, however, it occurred to me that--

That, um... Mr. Nugent.

That Mr. Nugent has been very sweet about Susan,

And I don't think we ought to embarrass him any longer.

I think Susan's romance is an adolescent one,

And I think she'll get over it.

And I think we owe it to Mr. Nugent to, uh...

Well, I'd like to talk this over with him,

As a matter of fact.

I think that's, uh, quite--

I don't think it would be a good idea to have him here,

Because, uh, with Susan in the house,

We couldn't talk freely here.

Oh, naturally.

And I certainly don't think it would be proper

Of me to invite myself to his apartment.

Oh, no. Naturally not.

So, the obvious thing to do is arrange

A convenient meeting place.

Something public,

Uh, sophisticated, and, uh...

Well, uh, we can talk things over. Yes.

Well, I think--

Thank you very much, uncle matt, for talking to me.

You've cleared things up considerably.

Oh, that's all right, nothing at all.

I appreciate your confidence, Margaret.

Isn't it extraordinary how simple problems become

When you don't let your emotions run away with you?

True, true.

Where's the telephone?

Hmm.

[telephone rings]

Hello?

Yeah?

Oh, uh, anything wrong with Susan?

Oh, can't go, huh?

Oh, sorry to hear that.

Will you tell her?

Yeah.

With you?

Yeah, I'd be delighted.

Do you want me to come over there?

Oh, I see. Yeah.

Uh, you wouldn't want to come over here, would you?

No, naturally.

Well, we can meet anyplace you say.

Yeah, we can celebrate my triumph.

Well, uh...

No, I'm not too tired to dance.

Do you dance?

I mean...Well, ok, anything you say.

Well, let's see now,

I know the head waiter at the tick-tock club.

How about that?

Fine.

Sure, ok.

[doorbell buzzes]

Come in.

Oh.

Ha ha. Hello.

Hello, Nugent.

Come on in.

Last time I saw you, you were underwater.

You all right? You didn't get hurt or anything?

I keep myself

In excellent physical condition

At all times.

How do you feel?

Splendid.

Well, to the victors belong the spoils.

Yeah, but you've made a good race of it, chamberlain.

No, I don't think I like it there.

Nugent, the reason I'm here is that I--

I want to let you off the hook.

Here, hold that for a moment. What hook?

I know that taking Susan out

Was a nuisance to you,

And it wasn't particularly good for Susan,

And it was especially a strain on Margaret.

Which one of us are you most concerned about?

If I had to indicate my preference,

I'd choose Margaret.

Who's your tailor?

The coach was kind enough to furnish them to me.

Oh, I had it there, didn't I?

Nugent,

I have something very important to tell you.

Uh-huh.

I've decided to drop the charges against you.

Eh, just a minute. Let me see this thing.

I said, I've decided to drop the charges against you.

Oh, dropped my medal. Dropped my medal.

Help me look for it.

Yes, yes.

We can forget the whole thing.

You won't have to come around anymore.

Hey, you look silly in that coat.

It doesn't go with the rest of the clothes.

You know that?

Let's stick to the subject.

You're a free man now, Nugent. You're free.

It's very possible that you and I

Won't be seeing any more of each other.

Ah. Found it. What did you say?

I say it's very possible that you and I

Won't be seeing any more of each other.

Oh, well, chamberlain,

You've put me in a position

Where I'm forced to make a confession.

About Margaret?

No. No, about Susan.

I'm madly in love with her.

You're what?

Well, I don't know how it happened

Or why it happened.

Perhaps it was something she said

Or the way she looked or something she wore.

All I know is that I'm happy when I'm near her,

That I-- well, you're a man.

You must have felt what I feel.

It's--it's-- it's love! Love!

It's preposterous. The child's only 17.

Yes, but she'll be 18 soon.

And we'll wait for our Chance at life.

Spring and Autumn.

Stop it, Nugent. You're complicating

The entire issue. I forbid it.

This is something no court of law can stop.

This is bigger than you, bigger than me.

You're just what I always thought you were--

You're-- you're irresponsible.

L'amour, my friend, l'amour.

We'll see about "l'amour, my friend, l'amour."

Of course, Mr. Nugent,

It's not the kind of wine

We used to get before the war,

But I think that you'd rather like it.

Anyway, it's the best we can get nowadays.

Oh, thank you, Alex. I just wanted to make sure.

Oh, uh, is that the mademoiselle?

No, no, no, no.

Hey, that isn't...

Oh, I'm awfully sorry.

[speaking Russian]

I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Nugent.

But, you know, the polish

Is the best we can get nowadays.

Oh, that's all right.

Oh, uh, perhaps that's mademoiselle?

Huh? No, no, no.

Say, I wish we had blue flowers.

I think she'd like blue flowers.

Oh, we can get blue flowers, Mr. Nugent.

But it will take a little time.

Well, I'll try to fix these.

Huh?

Alex, that's the best you can get any day.

Oh, uh...

Hello.

Hello. Hello.

I didn't know. I should have checked.

I'm sorry, no black tie.

That's all right.

That's a beautiful suit,

And you look wonderful in it.

They're lovely. Thank you.

Yellow's my favorite color.

I thought so.

%% happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you %%

%% happy birthday, dear Millicent %%

%% happy birthday to you %%

Now, isn't that sweet?

Mmm. I can't tell you how glad I am

That you, um...

That we're here.

Well, our relationship's been such an odd one,

I thought it might be fun for both of us

To try a new background.

Would you like to give order now?

Later.

How about a drink in the meantime?

Champagne?

Yes.

The time is now, Alex.

Shall we dance?

Love to.

Now, my father was a bachelor.

Really?

Wait a minute. [laughs]

Wait till I finish.

Oh, he was a bachelor until way into his 30s.

He always said he'd know who he was going to marry

The moment he met her.

Then he met my mother.

He put his arm around her,

And that was it.

Just the way she felt in his arms

Did the trick.

They were married 3 days later.

That's a very romantic story.

Well, they were happy all their lives

And apparently had nothing in common.

I told you. She was a piano teacher,

And he was a flag decorator.

A what?

Flag decorator.

Oh, he was a good one, too,

Until he fell off Newark city hall

And broke his leg.

Your family sounds like fun.

Uh-huh.

You must have come from a nice family.

It shows in your face.

Well, my family

Weren't quite that impulsive.

My father courted my mother

Through high school,

College, and law school.

14 years after they met,

They decided it was time to get married.

They had a lot in common.

They were both attorneys.

Uh-huh.

You feel nice in my arms.

I imagine that if mother and father

Hadn't had so much in common,

They needn't had waited 14 years.

It could have happened suddenly,

Romantically.

Dickie!

Oh, hello, Agnes.

You didn't congratulate me, Dickie.

Should I?

It's my birthday.

Congratulations.

Nugent, what do you say

We let bygones be bygones, huh?

Ha. Oh.

Hey, don't I know you?

Yes, we've met.

Where'd I meet you?

Was it Dickie's apartment?

No, you remember judge turner.

Oh, well, of course.

Well, yes.

Well, you got to be friends, huh?

Leave it to Dickie.

He knows all the angles.

If it's getting too crowded,

We can go back to the table.

It's too crowded.

Happy birthday.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Oh, now there's a Guy

Who never goes out of a girl's mind.

He just stays there like a heavy meal.

What am I like?

Orange juice.

I'm terribly sorry about that.

It's nothing. I'm sure you didn't know

She was going to be here.

Are you sure you're sure

That I didn't know she was going to be here?

Yes, why?

Well--well, I was just wondering.

I've given up

Jumping at conclusions.

Good. Hello, Dickie.

Hello, Johnny.

Cigarettes?

No, thanks.

All righty.

Cute kid.

I did a magazine cover of her.

No, she's nice.

Uh, miss, you can't walk in here like this.

Miss, it is absolutely forbidden.

Susan!

I do not intend to create a scene.

What are you doing here?

But you both oughta be ashamed of yourselves.

I'm too young to be deceived by such treachery.

What will you have to drink?

Lemonade. I don't intend to stay.

And some chocolate ice cream.

I suppose you wonder how I found out where you were?

What's going on in your mind?

You know perfectly well what's going on.

You told me that Dickie was sick,

Exhausted from the picnic.

So after you left, I got dressed

And I went to Dickie�s apartment.

And they told me where he was.

And here I am, and here you are.

I demand an explanation from both of you.

Susan, aren't you being a little childish?

I can be anything I want to be.

Joey wants to buy you and judge turner

A birthday drink on him.

Well, at the moment...

I owe it to you and to judge turner

For being so nice to us.

We'll only be with you a few minutes.

Just time enough to drink one down.

Oh, garcon!

This party's on me. Bring two chairs.

Yes, sir.

I don't believe we've been acquainted.

Oh, uh--uh, Susan turner...

Agnes and Joey are good enough.

Is this your daughter, judge?

No, no, no. It's her sister.

See, her older sister--

I mean, Margaret's sister.

You got plenty of room, sweetheart?

Sure, doll.

You look enough alike to be mother and daughter.

Sisters look alike, too.

I hate my sister.

%% happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you %%

%% happy birthday, Mr. Rosenheimer %%

%% happy birthday to you %%

Oh, I just love birthdays.

I think birthdays are the best.

Maybe we can get Mr. Rosenheimer to come over here.

No matter what you say,

I intend to wait here.

Nobody said anything to you.

It's a cute hat you got on.

And I don't intend to take it off.

I didn't ask you to take it off.

Oh, fine. Bring another round of the same

And put it on my check.

You can take these away. We're not gonna eat anything.

Just drinks.

Oh, hello, Jerry. Glad to see you.

I doubt if anyone's glad to see me.

You weren't invited, Mr. White.

Jerry, I'd like you to meet Agnes and Joey.

Hello. I just love kids

With that floppy hair. It's so casual-looking.

I suppose you're wondering

How I got here?

Well, if she isn't, I am.

It's getting to be quite a party.

All is not gold that glitters.

Oh, brother. You said a mouthful.

Remember when--

Just a minute. Just a minute.

I haven't got much time left.

I went to see you, Susan,

Because I got word I'm being drafted.

I went to the house.

And you were gone. And then I went

To Mr. Nugent's apartment.

And they told me that--

Yes, we know the rest of it, Jerry.

Well, I just wanted to say good-bye.

That's all.

Well, you don't have to make

Such a big thing about it, Jerry.

After all, the war's over.

I know, but guns go off

By accident sometimes,

Or a fella could trip on a bayonet.

I know how you feel. Going away,

Perhaps not seeing your loved ones

For a couple of years.

You're a fine boy, Jerry, and a good friend.

Possibly Mr. Nugent doesn't know just how good.

You don't have to tell me anything about Jerry.

Maybe I could tell you a few things about Jerry--

How loyal he is, and how he made sure

That you won that race this afternoon.

What kind of a race?

Where were you this afternoon?

This doesn't really concern you.

What are you talking about?

You shouldn't have said that, Susan.

A woman scorned is a fury!

What are you drinking, bub?

I'll have an eggnog.

Just a second. Jerry, what did you--

Garcon, please bring the boy an eggnog.

Isn't that amazing?

Jerry, what did you have to do--

2 eggs.

%% happy birthday to you %%

%% happy birthday to you %%

Me? Oh, Joey, you shouldn't have.

%% happy birthday, dear Agnes %%

%% happy birthday to you %%

Jerry, did you frame it so that I could win that race?

He only did it

Because he knew how much I loved you.

Susan, I forbid this kind of talk.

Well, life's very complicated.

Too complicated.

Good evening. Sit down.

You're just in time for a piece of cake.

Thank you. I will.

I suppose you're wondering

How I got here? I went to your house--

Let me tell you. You went to Margaret's house.

You found she'd gone,

You were suspicious she'd gone out with me,

So you went to my apartment.

You'd make a good detective, Nugent.

Who is this guy? I don't like him.

Nor do I.

The name is chamberlain.

Hello. Hello.

How do you do?

Huh! Get him-- "how do you do?"

Of course, you know what you're doing?

Of course I know what I'm doing.

It might interest you to know that--

Dickie, do you know what you are?

You're a regular blackbeard.

Bluebeard, dear.

Well, a Rose by any color--

Now everybody's too excited.

Nobody's excited!

Margaret, I want you to know that

Only this afternoon, this man told me

He's madly in love and only in love

With Susan.

Oh, Dickie, did you, darling?

Well, I did, yes, but I was only kidding.

Well, I don't like your kidding Susan

For any reason.

Now Jerry, you stay out of this.

Everybody's so unhappy.

Why don't we all have a drink or a piece of cake?

I don't feel like eating.

Now chamberlain, you know very well--

I think this is too public a place

To continue this discussion.

Mister, you have my chair.

There are other chairs here.

I realize that. And I suggest--

Do you love me or don't you?

Now Susan, you're a very cute child--

Don't bother me. I'm busy.

I'm busy, too. But I still want my chair!

After she spent $4.50

To make sure you won that race.

Well, that's too bad.

You can have the cup back!

You mean that victory of Nugent�s was a frame-up?

For the last time, I want my chair!

%% happy anniversary to you %%

Happy anniversary, Mr. And Mrs. Overholtz.

%% happy anniversary to you %%

%% happy anniversary, Mr. And Mrs. Overholtz %%

It's your anniversary, my birthday--

%% happy anniversary to you %%

I don't want any trouble with you.

I just want my chair back.

Oh, stand up.

For that matter, you can have-- please sit down.

[crash]

What happened to him?

See? Always saying the wrong thing.

Shall we fight this out?

Now, we're too excited. Now let's calm down. Sit.

I'm gonna get out of here.

So am I.

Now--now wait a minute--

I've had enough of this

And I've had enough of you.

Everywhere you go,

You attract trouble.

There you go, jumping again.

Shut up! Thank you for a lovely evening.

Thank you! Thank you!

If I was so disposed,

I could make a lot of trouble

For you, my friend.

You may be a regular guy,

But I don't know.

I hope this fixes your kettle of fish.

I came over here

Simply to buy you a birthday drink,

And you ruined my birthday!

You ruined it! Joey went to all the trouble

Of getting me a birthday cake

And you ruined everything!

Come on, Joey. Let him pay for the drinks.

I'd punch you right in the nose

If I wasn't afraid you'd break my jaw.

Oh, I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Nugent.

Ahem.

Will there be anything else?

For instance?

Well...

It's your move.

It's been your move for several minutes.

I was just a little concerned

About Margaret and Susan.

Ah, they're old enough

To take care of themselves,

And you just made a stupid move.

[door slams]

Susan.

Susan!

[door slams]

Why does she do that?

Maybe I should find out what's wrong.

Your Queen's in danger.

Oh.

[door slams]

Margaret!

You and your psychology.

[door slams]

I will not stand for this excitement!

Your Queen's still in danger.

Oh.

[door slams]

What's happened? What's wrong?

There's a great deal wrong.

I insist on talking to Margaret.

Well, I'm afraid that's impossible

Unless you break her door down.

This is a conspiracy!

[door slams]

Do you intend to finish this game,

Or don't you?

Now, Thaddeus.

I can't stand it. I've got to talk to Susan.

It's too late to talk to anybody, Jerry.

Come back in the morning.

This is a fine way to treat a veteran!

[door slams]

Thaddeus...

You're old enough to control yourself.

Oh...

[door slams]

Margaret, I want to talk to you.

You keep out of this.

Well, if you're leaving home,

You might take something

More practical than a doll.

I hate you.

Susan, you can't mean that.

I do. My own sister, stealing the man I love.

Susan, you're not being fair.

The other woman.

It's not like that at all.

Why don't you send me to prison and get me out of the way?

Susan!

I'm old enough to fight for my own happiness.

Anyway, I saw him first!

I couldn't help overhearing.

I had my ear to the door.

Uncle matt, it's all your fault.

You created this whole situation.

You deliberately told Susan

To come to that nightclub tonight.

Oh, now wait a minute.

Let's all calm down and be sensible.

Susan, did I or did I not

Send you to find Margaret?

You certainly did not.

It was all my own idea.

That's beside the point.

And I didn't send Tommy and I didn't send Jerry.

And you're both hysterical.

Don't judge my actions!

Please calm down!

Margaret, will you please go to your room

And let me talk to Susan?

I have nothing to say to anyone.

I will not make a statement of any kind

At this time.

Unpack those clothes and hang them up.

Susan, I'm still strong enough

To take you over my knee

And give you the spanking

That I sincerely believe you deserve.

You wouldn't dare.

I have no intention, however,

Of spanking you.

If you'll be sensible.

Now, sit down.

Sit down!

I'm gonna tell you why

I think your infatuation

For Mr. Nugent is a childish one

And why you've been cruel and unfair

To Mr. Nugent, and to Margaret, and to Jerry

And why you're gonna get sensible

About the entire matter.

I am.

You are?

And you're going to listen to me,

And you're going to do

Just as I tell you.

[knock on door]

Margaret?

Come in, dear.

Margaret, I've just had a long talk

With uncle matt.

Yes.

And I see things much more clearly.

After all, Richard is too old for me.

When I'm 42, he'll be 60.

And anyway, Jerry's going to look

Awfully handsome in his uniform,

Don't you think?

I think.

So I've decided to renounce Richard for Jerry.

That's very sensible of you.

And now that you have a clear field with Richard,

I think you ought to patch things up.

I've acted very childishly,

And I'm sorry, really sorry.

If I had a million sisters,

I'd want them all to be exactly like you.

You're just saying that because I'm sklonklish.

Because you're smart.

Good night.

Good night, dear.

You know, in many ways,

I think this has made a bigger woman of me.

I'm not interested in any more of

Your psychological mumbo jumbo.

Margaret, you're being too cold about this.

You must look at it

From the emotional point of view.

I don't deal in emotions. I deal in facts.

And the conclusions I draw from the facts

Are depressing.

Yes, well, depressing or not,

You're in love with Richard Nugent.

Uncle matt, I'm quite weary

And want to go to sleep.

I'll discuss this with you in the morning.

Good night.

Very well.

I thank you for one thing--

Straightening Susan out.

It's perfectly all right.

Good night.

Good night.

Hi.

How did you get in here?

Well, the door was closed.

So I opened it and came right in.

Well, you can open it again. Go right out.

But you and Margaret are having trouble.

None of your business.

Well, in a way, it is. Don't forget

That I started this whole thing.

I won't.

Where are you going?

Africa.

That's pretty far away, isn't it?

It all depends upon where you are.

If you're in Arabia which is where

I'm going to be before I go to Africa,

You're pretty close. Now would you mind

Getting out of here? I've got things to do.

All right.

But you're making a mistake.

You can't run away from yourself.

The trouble with you is

That you're in love with Margaret.

Don't be ridiculous.

Well, look at the facts--

Thanks. I'm an artist. I deal in emotions.

And my emotions tell me to get out of here.

What do your emotions tell you?

Fine.

All right.

But I've got a plan.

I've had enough of your plans

And your whole family.

I was a carefree fellow

Before I met up with all of you.

I've been in nothing but trouble ever since.

I'm going to be a carefree fellow again.

Now buzz off.

All right. Oh, but if you should run across

Professor Smedley while you're in Johannesburg,

Give him my regards.

He's a cousin of ours-- just a fifth cousin.

Ah, beautiful morning,

Simply beautiful...

Isn't it? Yes.

Wonderful weather for flying...

Isn't it? Yes.

The thing is, Margaret,

It'll give you a Chance to relax

For a few days.

Uncle matt, I think I'd better...

I think you better take me home.

Oh, well, that's ridiculous.

I think it's ridiculous

I'm packing up for 3 or 4 days,

And running away

All because of a very silly man.

Oh, well, darling, let bygones be bygones.

And if by Chance

Your paths should ever happen to cross,

Well, that's another thing.

They better not cross.

For the time being,

You just do what uncle matt tells you.

The last few weeks, you haven't been doing so good.

Well, all I did this morning was to

Talk you into taking a little plane trip.

You could talk the devil into going to church.

Ha ha ha!

Keys, please.

Be right with you.

You go ahead, dear, I'll take care of

The baggage and the tickets.

Baggage.

P.A.: Attention, please.

Juan is wanted at the main information booth...

I'm sorry we couldn't accommodate you.

But I'm sure we can get you on the next flight.

All right. Thanks anyway.

Judge turner's reservation, please.

All right, sir.

Oh, thank you very much, and please

Thank Mr. Martin for arranging this.

It was an emergency. I do appreciate it.

All right, sir.

Thank you.

Beemish, where's Margaret?

Why, I don't know. I'm looking for her now.

You know she's leaving?

Oh, yes. Yes. I thought so.

It's all Nugent�s fault.

Everything was all right until he came along.

If I see him again, he'll get 10 years.

I got a bench warrant out for his arrest.

Now, if you'll take my advice--

I don't want your advice. I should have

Locked him up in the first place.

Now where's Margaret?

Well, I don't know. She should be here.

Uh, why don't you watch that entrance?

And I'll keep my eyes open here.

Very well, let me know the instant she arrives.

Sure, sure.

So long, Jebby. Thanks.

Have fun.

Stay out of jail.

Well, here you are, darling.

Maybe I ought to have some seconds thoughts

About this trip.

Oh, now, don't start that all over again.

You just go away and have a good time.

I'm sorry I can't wait to see you off,

But I--I have to get back to the office.

Thanks, uncle matt.

I don't know what for, but thanks.

You're welcome. Happy landing.

Bye.

P.A.: Your attention, please.

TWA's constellation flight 60,

The super Sky chief, is ready for immediate departure.

Passengers will board the flight through gate 2.

Officer, I'm Dr. Matthew Beemish.

I'm the city psychiatrist.

Well, doctor, I'm glad to know you.

I'm observing a patient of mine.

I might need your help.

Who is he?

Uh, that blond fellow with the brown suit

And the brown hat. Oh, yeah.

He's really quite harmless,

But he might create a scene.

What seems to be his trouble?

He thinks that he is

The assistant district attorney.

He likes to go around arresting people.

Oh, poor guy. You'd think he'd at least

Want to be a desk sergeant, wouldn't you?

Well, I'll try to handle him,

But I just wanted you to know, in case.

I'll be around.

Have you seen Margaret?

No, no, I haven't seen her yet.

Say, I want to tell you a story.

I don't want to hear any stories.

There's Nugent! Let's get him!

Now wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You're making a mistake.

Oh, no, I'm not.

You're sure that you wanna go through with this?

Positive. It will give me a great deal of pleasure

To put him where he belongs. Officer!

I want you to arrest someone.

Now you don't want to go around

Arresting nice people.

What?

Why don't you be a good boy

And go on home?

Know who you're talking to?

I'm the assistant district attorney.

Sure you are.

Tell him who I am.

Yes, he is

The assistant district attorney.

Well, now, ain't that nice?

You stupid blockhead. I'll do it myself.

Wait a moment.

You don't wanna bother anybody.

Having trouble, Tom?

I'm the assistant district attorney.

Sure he is. Now just take it easy. Relax.

We'll make you district attorney

Then you'll be in charge of all

The little assistant district attorneys.

I'll report you to the police commissioner!

Beemish, get their numbers.

Yeah, I'll get a pencil. Be right back.

I tell you, I'm the assistant district attorney!

Wait a minute! Where are you taking me?

Leave me alone!

Thank you, sir.

Margaret turner.

Nugent, Richard.

Thank you, sir.

You remind me of a man.

What man?

The man with the power.

What power?

The power of hoodoo.

Who do? You do.

Do what?

Remind me of a man.

What man?

The man with the power.

What power?

Give up?

Give up. Let's go.

---the end---