Original subtitles

>> Announcer: TONIGHT ON "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS."

AMY SEDARIS, HOST OF MSNBC'S "THE REID OUT,"

JOY REID AN ALL NEW "CLOSER LOOK.

FEATURING THE 8G BAND WITH NIKKI GLASPIE.

AND NOW SETH MEYERS.

♪ >> Seth: WELCOME TO "LATE

NIGHT," EVERYBODY.

YOU GUYS, I HAD THE CRAZIEST DREAM LAST NIGHT

OKAY, I WAS AT A RESTAURANT. THAT'S IT.

THAT'S A CRAZY DREAM LET'S GET TO THE NEWS.

DURING HIS PRESS BRIEFING YESTERDAY, PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID

THAT THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC WILL GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS

BETTER, WHICH MAY BE TRUE, BUT IT'S STILL A WEIRD CAMPAIGN

PROMISE. WHEN ASKED ABOUT FORMER

ASSOCIATE OF JEFFREY EPSTEIN AND ACCUSED SEX TRAFFICKER

GHISLAINE MAXWELL AT HIS PRESS CONFERENCE YESTERDAY, PRESIDENT

TRUMP SAID, QUOTE, "I WISH HER WELL."

AND THEN SOMEWHERE AN ASSASSIN SAID, "THAT'S THE CODE," AND

STARTED SCREWING TOGETHER A PLASTIC RIFLE.

THAT'S RIGHT HE WAS ASKED ABOUT ACCUSED SEX

TRAFFICKER GHISLAINE MAXWELL AND SAID HE HAD MET MAXWELL NUMEROUS

TIMES OVER THE YEARS AND WISHED HER WELL

OH, NO, THAT'S GOING TO BECOME A TRUMP RALLY CHANT, ISN'T IT?

"WISH HER WELL WISH HER WELL!

FORMER ATTORNEY MICHAEL COHEN HAS WRITTEN A TELL‐ALL BOOK

ABOUT PRESIDENT TRUMP. SERIOUSLY?

HARRY POTTER WASN'T WRITTEN ABOUT THIS MUCH.

WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO KNOW "OH, WOW

OH, IT SAYS HE'S A TOUCH RACIST."

"WHAT PAGE OH, ALL OF THEM.

THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY RECENTLY DRAFTED ITS 2020 PLATFORM, WHICH

IS 80 PAGES LONG AND WAS DRAFTED BY A 15‐PERSON PANEL, AS OPPOSED

TO THE REPUBLICAN PLATFORM WHICH IS WHATEVER ONE GUY SAW ON FOX

NEWS THAT MORNING. DURING A HEATED EXCHANGE ON THE

STEPS OF THE CAPITOL, REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN TED YOHO REPORTEDLY

CALLED NEW YORK CONGRESSWOMAN ALEXANDRIA OCASIO‐CORTEZ A

DEROGATORY NAME AS HE WALKED AWAY

ALTHOUGH IT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE MORE DISGUSTING THAN YOHO.

YOHO SOUNDS LIKE A LAXATIVE YOGURT FOR DOGS.

YOHO SOUNDS LIKE A PART OF MANHATTAN WHERE COPS LET WHITE

PEOPLE PARTY WITHOUT MASKS "HA, IT'S GOING DOWN TONIGHT IN

YOHO." HOURS AFTER PRESIDENT TRUMP

TWEETED ON MONDAY THAT WEARING A MASK IS PATRIOTIC, TRUMP WAS

ALLEGEDLY SEEN TALKING TO SUPPORTERS AT A FUNDRAISER

WITHOUT WEARING A MASK WELL, NOW THAT THEY KNOW WHAT A

HYPOCRITE HE IS, I'M SURE THEY'LL ALL COME RUNNING OVER TO

THE OTHER SIDE NO, THEY'RE NOT?

THEY'RE NAMING THEIR KIDS MAGA JEEZ LOUISE, ALL RIGHT

THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE WILL REPORTEDLY

PURCHASE COPIES OF DONALD TRUMP JR.'S SOON‐TO‐BE

RELEASED BOOK TO GIVE TO PEOPLE WHO DONATE MORE THAN $75

SAID DONORS, "$74.99 IT IS." FAST FOOD CHAIN KFC HAS

ANNOUNCED THAT IT WILL WORK WITH A RUSSIAN 3D BIOPRINTING LAB TO

CREATE THE SO‐CALLED "MEAT OF THE FUTURE," WHILE ARBY'S

ANNOUNCED THAT THEY'RE GOING TO STICK WITH THE MEAT OF THE PAST.

RELAX, IT'S ONLY A FEW DAYS OLD. JUST, YOU KNOW

FAST FOOD CHAIN KFC HAS ANNOUNCED THAT IT WILL WORK WITH

A RUSSIAN 3D BIOPRINTING COMPANY TO CREATE CHICKEN NUGGETS IN A

LAB. "KILL ME," SAID THEIR FIRST

BATCH. [ LAUGHTER ]

A NUGGET ‐‐ A NUGGET WITH A MOUTH.

TODAY WAS NATIONAL HAMMOCK DAY SO IF YOU SAW SOMEONE IN A

HAMMOCK TODAY, THEY WERE PROBABLY STILL STUCK THERE SINCE

LAST HAMMOCK DAY THOSE THINGS ARE DEATH TRAPS

AND FINALLY, A SEAGULL IN BRITAIN WAS RESCUED OVER THE

WEEKEND AFTER IT GOT A DISPOSABLE FACE MASK TANGLED

AROUND ITS LEGS. "THAT'S HOW I WEAR IT!" SAID

JOGGERS IN NEW YORK. THAT'S THE MONOLOGUE, EVERYBODY.

WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT!

I'LL CHAT WITH THE ALWAYS FUNNY AMY SEDARIS.

PLUS, HER NEW SHOW, "THE REID OUT" PREMIERED THIS WEEK ON

MSNBC. JOY REID WILL BE HERE.

BUT FIRST, "A CLOSER LOOK.

WELCOME BACK TO OUR TEMPORARY STUDIO IN THE CAPTAIN'S

QUARTERS YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN GOING

THROUGH OUR VIEWER MAIL. AND WHILE MANY OF YOU THINK THE

NEW MARITIME THEME SET IS GREAT, SOME OF YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO

NAUT‐ICAL. OOF, I TOLD YOU THAT JOKE STUNK.

>> ARGGH, THANKS FOR TRYING IT >> Seth: AND SINCE I DID, COULD

WE MAYBE KEEP THE INTERRUPTIONS TO A MINIMUM

>> OKAY. >> Seth: SPEAKING OF HALF‐ASSED

EFFORTS, THE PRESIDENT IS TRYING TO CONVINCE AMERICANS HE

SUDDENLY CARES ABOUT THE PANDEMIC HE'S BEEN IGNORING FOR

MONTHS, AS HE ALSO THREATENS TO SEND MORE SECRET POLICE TO

CITIES ACROSS THE COUNTRY. FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR

"A CLOSER LOOK."

>> Seth: DONALD TRUMP IS TRAILING

JOE BIDEN BY AS MUCH AS 15 POINTS IN THE LATEST POLLS.

HE'S AS UNPOPULAR AS ANY PRESIDENT IN MODERN HISTORY, AND

HE'S FACING A LARGER DEFICIT THAN ANY INCUMBENT HAS EVER

OVERCOME AT THIS POINT IN THE CAMPAIGN

BUT AS WE ALL KNOW, DONALD TRUMP IS A MASTER TACTICIAN AND A

MARKETING GENIUS IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

BEFORE HE COOKED UP A FOOL‐PROOF PLAN TO WIN BACK THOSE VOTERS.

AND ON TUESDAY, WITH THE NATION'S EYES UPON HIM AT A

TELEVISED PRESS BRIEFING, HE FINALLY DEPLOYED HIS LATEST

MASTER STROKE.

>> PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS ASKED LATE

TODAY ABOUT JEFFREY EPSTEIN'S ALLEGED CO‐CONSPIRATOR

GHISLAINE MAXWELL. SHE PLEADED NOT GUILTY TO SEX

TRAFFICKING CHARGES LAST WEEK. ONE OF HER ALLEGED VICTIMS

DESCRIBING HER AS A PREDATOR AND MONSTER.

THE PRESIDENT TODAY SAYING HE HASN'T FOLLOWED HER CASE, THAT

THEY'VE MET NUMEROUS TIMES, AND THAT HE WISHES HER WELL.

>> I JUST WISH HER WELL, FRANKLY.

I'VE MET HER NUMEROUS TIMES OVER THE YEARS, ESPECIALLY SINCE I

LIVED IN PALM BEACH. AND I GUESS THEY LIVED IN

PALM BEACH BUT I WISH HER WELL.

>> Seth: CHECKMATE, JOE BIDEN. JUST LIKE THE TRUMP TEAM DREW IT

UP ON THE CHALKBOARD IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF

AMERICANS, THE PRESIDENT PUBLICLY SENT WELL WISHES TO AN

ALLEGED SEX TRAFFICKER WHILE REMINDING EVERYONE HE'S BEEN

FRIENDS WITH HER FOR YEARS I MEAN, YOU JUST CAN'T TEACH

THAT KIND OF POLITICAL TALENT. NOW ALL TRUMP HAS TO DO IS SIT

BACK AND WATCH THE VOTES ROLL IN

NOW, I KNOW YOU MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACKS OUT THERE MIGHT

THINK THAT PUBLICLY SENDING WELL WISHES TO JEFFREY EPSTEIN'S

WINGWOMAN 100 DAYS BEFORE A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS, SHALL

WE SAY, A MISSTEP. BUT, YOU SEE, TRUMP IS ALWAYS

TEN STEPS AHEAD. WHEN YOU GO LEFT, HE GOES RIGHT.

WHEN YOU ZIG, HE SAYS NICE THINGS ABOUT SOMEONE WHO WAS

RECENTLY APPREHENDED BY FEDERAL AGENTS WHILE HIDING OUT IN A

REMOTE COMPOUND. BECAUSE IF THERE IS ONE THING

THAT TRUMP'S BASE CARES MOST ABOUT, IT'S A WOMAN WHOSE FIRST

NAME SOUNDS LIKE A FRENCH PERFUME FOR SOMEONE WHO IS

KEEPING A SECRET "GEE‐LAN, SHH.

AND, AGAIN, ONE DAY WE WILL GET A SECOND CLOSE‐UP CAMERA FOR

RIGHT OVER THERE MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS IS

IMAGINING THE STAFF REACTION THEY ONLY CALLED THIS PRESS

CONFERENCE TO TRY TO IMPROVE TRUMP'S POLL NUMBERS

YOU KNOW THEY MUST'VE TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP HIM ON SCRIPT

"MR. PRESIDENT, WE JUST NEED YOU TO FOCUS ON THE FACTS OF THE

CORONAVIRUS, AND ONLY THE FACTS.

"UH‐HUH. "SO JUST, YOU KNOW, STICK TO THE

SCRIPT." "GOT IT.

"ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SOUND PRESIDENTIAL AND THE MEDIA WILL

EAT IT UP. "DON'T WORRY, I WON'T LET YOU

DOWN JUST ONE QUESTION.

SHOULD I REMIND PEOPLE THAT I PARTED WITH EPSTEIN?

IS THAT A GOOD IDEA OR A GREAT IDEA

I THINK IT MIGHT BE A GREAT IDEA."

AND YET DESPITE THIS INSANE TANGENT, THE MEDIA STILL FELL

FOR TRUMP'S ACT SIMPLY BECAUSE HIS TEAM DOSED HIS DIET COKE

WITH NYQUIL AND GOT HIM TO READ A PREPARED STATEMENT PRETENDING

TO TAKE THE CRISIS SERIOUSLY BEFORE THE BRIEFING, ABC WROTE,

"THE PRESIDENT IS DISPLAYING A NEW TONE AND A NEW LEVEL OF

ENGAGEMENT." CNN CALLED IT A RELATIVELY SOBER

TONE, AND BLOOMBERG SAID, "TRUMP REBOOTS VIRUS BRIEFINGS WITH

WARNING AND A SHIFT IN TONE. GOOD LORD.

I REALLY THINK YOU COULD DUCT TAPE A SPATULA TO A GOLDEN

RETRIEVER'S PAW AND HALF OF THE MEDIA WOULD SAY, "OH, MY GOD

THAT DOG'S A CHEF! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GUYS

HOW CAN YOU KEEP FALLING FOR THIS

IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS OF THIS BS, AND STILL EVERY TIME PRESIDENT

WEREWOLF OVER HERE MANAGES TO NOVOCAIN HIS WAY THROUGH A

PREPARED STATEMENT WITHOUT PASSING OUT AT THE PODIUM, YOU

ACT LIKE HE'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON ALL OF A

SUDDEN YOU KNOW, I SAY PRESIDENT

WEREWOLF, BUT REALLY HE'S MORE LIKE A REVERSE WEREWOLF.

HE TERRORIZES TOWNSPEOPLE ALL THE TIME AND THEN HE'S NORMAL

FOR A COUPLE HOURS WHEN THERE'S A FULL MOON.

"I OWE YOU ALL AN APOLOGY FOR THE PAST 30 DAYS

MY BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN MONSTROUS." LOOK, 74‐YEAR‐OLDS DON'T CHANGE

UNLESS THEIR CHARACTER IS IN A CLINT EASTWOOD MOVIE WHERE A

BUNCH OF RETIRED BANK ROBBERS GO TO OUTER SPACE

EVEN THOUGH ALL THEY EVER REALLY LEARN IS HOW TO HAVE A SLIGHTLY

BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR ESTRANGED DAUGHTER

LET'S SAY LAURA LINNEY "YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR ME."

"THOSE BANK ROBBERIES PAID FOR YOUR FANCY COLLEGE."

"I DIDN'T WANT A FANCY COLLEGE I WANTED A FATHER.

"I NEED TO GO NOW, BECKY WE'RE ROBBING MARS."

LOOK, YOU KNOW TRUMP'S JUST GOING TO STEAL HIS PHONE BACK

AND TWEET SOME RACIST NONSENSE, RIGHT?

HE REPEATEDLY USED A RACIST TERM FOR THE CORONAVIRUS IN THE

BRIEFING YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO WAIT

UNTIL HE TWEETS. HE MORPHED BACK INTO THE REAL

TRUMP MID‐PRESS CONFERENCE JUST COMPARE HIS SUPPOSED TONE

CHANGE FROM HIS SCRIPTED REMARKS TO AN OFF‐THE‐CUFF COMMENT HE

MADE JUST MINUTES LATER.

>> IT WILL PROBABLY, UNFORTUNATELY, GET WORSE BEFORE

IT GETS BETTER THE VIRUS WILL DISAPPEAR

IT WILL DISAPPEAR. >> Seth: MY GOD, I'D SAY HE

SUFFERS FROM EXTREME SHORT‐TERM MEMORY LOSS, BUT THEN AGAIN, HE

ACED THAT COGNITIVE TEST SO WHAT DO I KNOW?

IT'S TOO BAD CORONAVIRUS CAN'T BE CURED BY CORRECTLY

IDENTIFYING AN ELEPHANT ON A PIECE OF PAPER

THEN TRUMP WOULD'VE KNOCKED THAT [ BLEEP ] OUT OF THE PARK.

OF COURSE, THE IDEA THAT THE VIRUS WILL JUST MAGICALLY

DISAPPEAR IS DERANGED. AND SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING OF

HIS POLITICAL CAREER, WE'VE KNOWN THAT BOTH TRUMP AND THE

POLITICAL MOVEMENT HE LEADS ARE DEEPLY, DEEPLY DETACHED FROM

REALITY. SOMETIMES THAT MANIFESTS ITSELF

IN SMALL BUT BIZARRE WAYS, LIKE WHEN HE DREW WITH A SHARPIE ON A

HURRICANE MAP OR CLAIMED GOD STOPPED IT FROM RAINING AT HIS

INAUGURATION, EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE IN THE CROWD WERE LITERALLY

HOLDING UMBRELLAS. THIS GUY LIES ABOUT THE WEATHER

MORE THAN YOUR LOCAL METEOROLOGIST.

"YOU TOLD ME WE WERE GOING TO HAVE CLEAR SKIES ALL WEEKEND AND

THEN I END UP WEARING A PONCHO TO THE BEACH

THE LAST TIME I LISTEN TO THUNDER RAINS.

AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO SAY, THIS ISN'T UNIQUE TO TRUMP.

THE MODERN CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT IS A PARANOID MOVEMENT OBSESSED

WITH CONSPIRACY THEORIES REMEMBER, THIS IS THE SAME

POLITICAL MOVEMENT THAT THINKS THE WORLD SCIENTISTS ALL GOT

TOGETHER AND FABRICATED THE CLIMATE CRISIS AS PART OF AN

ELABORATE PLOT TO OUTLAW AIRPLANES AND BARBECUES.

GOOD THING WE ELECTED DONALD TRUMP TO PROTECT OUR FLIGHTS AND

SOCIAL GATHERINGS. AND NOW THOSE SAME LUNATICS

THINK GRAFFITI AND LIGHT PROPERTY DAMAGE CONSTITUTE

DOMESTIC TERRORISM FOR EXAMPLE, TAKE ACTING

SECRETARY OF HOMELAND SECURITY CHAD WOLF.

YOU KNOW, DRAKKAR NOIR IF IT GREW UP TO BE A REAL BOY

I'M PRETTY SURE THIS DUDE HAD A MINOR ROLE ON "ENTOURAGE" AS A

PERSONAL TRAINER WHO'S FRIENDS WITH TURTLE.

HE LOOKS LIKE A GUY WHO, ON A FIRST DATE, WOULD TELL YOU HE

WAS A COMMANDO IN A TOP SECRET ARMY UNIT CALLED THE OMEGA

SQUAD, AND THEN YOU'D GET HOME AND GOOGLE IT AND FIND OUT OMEGA

SQUAD IS A PAINTBALL RANGE TWO TOWNS OVER

WOLF PUT OUT A STATEMENT ON THE ADMINISTRATION'S DECISION TO

SEND SECRET POLICE TO PORTLAND TO SNATCH PROTESTERS OFF THE

STREET AND STUFF THEM IN UNMARKED VANS, IN WHICH DHS USED

THE PHRASES "VIOLENT MOB," "VIOLENT CRIMINALS," OR "VIOLENT

ANARCHISTS" A TOTAL OF 76 TIMES. IS THIS A PRESS STATEMENT OR A

PAGE FROM RORSCHACH'S JOURNAL? 13‐YEAR‐OLD, HE'S PRETTY PSYCHED

ABOUT THAT JOKE. IT'S BAD ENOUGH TO SOUND LIKE A

FASCIST, BUT AT LEAST CRACK OPEN A THESAURUS.

THE ONLY TIME IT'S PERMISSIBLE TO USE THE PHRASE "VIOLENT

ANARCHY" THAT OFTEN IS WHEN YOU'RE REVIEWING THE MUSIC OF

"STOMP." "GUYS, DO WE NEED THAT MANY

TRASH CANS MAYBE ONE OF YOU COULD LEARN

GUITAR?" ANY TIME A GOVERNMENT IS CALLING

ITS OWN CITIZENS "VIOLENT ANARCHISTS" SHOULD RAISE ALARMS.

SO, WHAT DID THESE SUPPOSEDLY "VIOLENT ANARCHISTS" DO TO

DESERVE THAT NAME? WELL, YOU'LL BE SHOCKED TO FIND

OUT IT'S COMPLETE BULL[ BLEEP ].

SECRETARY OF HOMELAND SECURITY TO JUSTIFY WHAT DONALD TRUMP IS

DOING, HE TWEETED OUT IMAGES OF HIMSELF VIEWING GRAFFITI THAT

HAD BEEN PUT ON BUILDINGS IN PORTLAND

THE DHS PUT OUT A STATEMENT POINTING TO THE BUILDINGS IT

SAID HAD BEEN GRAFFITIED BY, QUOTE, "VIOLENT ANARCHISTS."

SO THE MISSION OF THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY IS TO

DEPLOY SECRET POLICE TO THE STREETS OF AN AMERICAN CITY TO

STOP ‐‐ GRAFFITI AND SOME LIGHT PROPERTY DAMAGE

>> Seth: GRAFFITI? YOU'RE GOING FULL DICTATOR OVER

SOME GRAFFITI. WHAT'S NEXT?

ARE YOU GOING TO SEND IN S. E. A. L. TEAM SIX TO ARREST

LOVESTRUCK TEENS CARVING THEIR INITIALS INTO TREES?

"OKAY, HE JUST FINISHED CARVING THE HEART SHAPE INTO THE TREE.

NOW HE'S GOING FOR THE T. L. A TAKE THE SHOT!

TAKE THE SHOT, TODD! THAT'S RIGHT

OUR GOVERNMENT USED GRAFFITI TO JUSTIFY SENDING SECRET POLICE TO

AN AMERICAN CITY TO ABDUCT PROTESTERS INTO UNMARKED VANS

WITHOUT TELLING THEM WHO THEY ARE, WHERE THEY'RE GOING, OR WHY

THEY'VE BEEN ARRESTED. BUT IT WOULD BE BAD ENOUGH IF

WHAT THEY WERE DOING WAS USING SECRET POLICE TO ENFORCE LAWS

AGAINST GRAFFITI THAT'S ALREADY CHILLING.

WHAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY DOING IS EVEN WORSE

THEY'RE JUST SNATCHING PEACEFUL PROTESTERS OFF THE STREET.

THEY'RE KIDNAPPING PEOPLE AND NOT EVEN TELLING THEM WHAT

THEY'RE BEING CHARGED WITH

>> FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS HAVE BEEN USING

UNMARKED VEHICLES TO DRIVE AROUND DOWNTOWN PORTLAND AND

DETAIN PROTESTERS SINCE AT LEAST TUESDAY.

PERSONAL ACCOUNTS AND MULTIPLE VIDEOS POSTED ONLINE SHOW THE

OFFICERS DRIVING UP TO PEOPLE, DETAINING INDIVIDUALS WITH NO

EXPLANATION ABOUT WHY THEY'RE BEING ARRESTED, AND DRIVING OFF.

>> ONE CAME FROM A 29‐YEAR‐OLD NAMED MARK PETTIBONE WHO SAID

THAT WHEN HE WAS ABDUCTED, HE DID NOT KNOW IF THE MEN WERE

EVEN POLICE. HE THOUGHT THEY MIGHT BE FAR

RIGHT EXTREMISTS "I WAS TERRIFIED," HE TOLD THE

"WASHINGTON POST." "IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS OUT OF A

HORROR/SCI‐FI, LIKE A PHILIP K. DICK NOVEL

IT WAS LIKE BEING PREYED UPON. >> Seth: LEAVE IT TO PORTLAND TO

USE A LITERARY REFERENCE IF THIS HAPPENED ANYWHERE ELSE,

PEOPLE WOULD SAY IT SEEMED LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A MOVIE, OR, AT

BEST, A Y. A. NOVEL BUT IN PORTLAND YOU GET, "IT'S

LIKE A PHILIP K. DICK NOVEL. LESS IN SETTING BUT MORE IN

TENOR. THE LATER WORKS OF COURSE.

AND IN CASE YOU'RE NOT A PHILIP K. DICK FAN, THAT'S BAD

THE DUDE WROTE DYSTOPIAN SCIENCE FICTION.

NONE OF IT WAS EVER GOOD HE NEVER WROTE A NOVEL CALLED,

"ROBOTS TOOK OVER, AND GAVE US CANDY!

WHEN A SECRET PARAMILITARY FORCE IS ABDUCTING PEACEFUL PROTESTERS

IN THE DARK OF NIGHT WITHOUT IDENTIFYING THEMSELVES, THAT

MEANS EVEN THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS A FLAGRANT

ABUSE OF POWER AND YOU CAN TELL IT'S A FLAGRANT

ABUSE OF POWER BECAUSE THEY'RE USING SHADY AND IRREGULAR

TACTICS TO DO IT FOR EXAMPLE, FEDERAL OFFICERS

APPEAR TO BE USING RENTAL CARS FROM ENTERPRISE TO SNATCH

PROTESTERS WELL, AT LEAST WE KNOW THEY WERE

NOT KIDDING WITH THEIR SLOGAN. DID YOU GUYS GET A DEAL ON

KAYAK? I HOPE YOU GOT THE LIABILITY

INSURANCE BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A

LAWSUIT ON YOUR HANDS. MAN, WHAT A [ BLEEP

ADVERTISEMENT FOR ENTERPRISE, BY THE WAY.

THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIME IN THE '80s WHEN THE KGB DID AN AD

FOR HERTZ. AND NOW TRUMP IS THREATENING TO

SEND HIS SECRET POLICE TO OTHER CITIES

AND THE ROTTEN HUSKS IN THE GOP AND ON FOX NEWS ARE CHEERING HIM

ON THE PRESIDENT CAN'T BE BOTHERED

TO DEVELOP A NATIONAL STRATEGY FOR A PANDEMIC THAT'S KILLED

140,000 AMERICANS. BUT TO DEFEND SOME STATUES,

HE'LL SEND SECRET POLICE TO AMERICAN CITIES TO ABDUCT

PROTESTERS HE AND HIS RIGHT‐WING ALLIES

COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT YOU THEY JUST WANT POWER

IF WE LEAVE THESE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF OUR DEMOCRACY ANY

LONGER ‐ >> IT WILL DISAPPEAR

>> Seth: THIS HAS BEEN "A CLOSER LOOK."

>> Seth: SO MANY NEW YORKERS ARE TURNING TO CITY HARVEST FOR HELP

FEEDING THEIR FAMILIES, AND THEY NEED YOUR SUPPORT MORE THAN

EVER THERE'S A WEBSITE BELOW TO

DONATE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH AMY

SEDARIS. ♪

>> Announcer: FOR MORE OF SETH'S "CLOSER LOOKS," BE SURE TO

SUBSCRIBE TO "LATE NIGHT" ON YOUTUBE.

>> Seth: WELCOME BACK. GUEST DRUMMER, NIKKI GLASPIE IS

SITTING IN WITH THE 8G BAND THIS WEEK

SHE PLAYS WITH MACEO PARKER, AND HER OWN BAND, THE Nth POWER.

HER NEW EP, "iPHONE SESSIONS," WAS MADE COMPLETELY ON HER

PHONE, AND IS AVAILABLE ON ALL PLATFORMS.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, NIKKI.

OUR FIRST GUEST IS A BEST‐SELLING AUTHOR AND TALENTED

PERFORMER YOU KNOW FROM SHOWS LIKE "STRANGERS WITH CANDY" AND

"BOJACK HORSEMAN." THE SEASON FINALE OF HER

"EMMY"‐NOMINATED SHOW, "AT HOME WITH AMY SEDARIS" AIRS JULY 29th

ON TRuTV, WITH SPECIAL GUEST PAUL RUDD.

HERE'S MY CONVERSATION WITH AMY SEDARIS.

HOW ARE YOU? >> I'M DOING OKAY, SETH.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? [ LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: GOOD. YOU KNOW, I THINK WE'RE ALL

COLLECTIVELY LIVING THROUGH A FAIRLY STRESSFUL TIME.

BUT ON TOP OF THAT YOU HAD A VERY TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE, I

BELIEVE, YESTERDAY >> EVERY TIME I'M ON YOUR SHOW,

SOMETHING HAPPENS. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

AND I THOUGHT OF YOU WHEN I SAW ‐‐ I SAW A GIGANTIC

WATERBUG AND I MEAN, I'VE SEEN WATERBUGS,

WHATEVER, BUT THIS ONE WAS DEFINITELY THE BIGGEST AND THE

BLACKEST AND THE FASTEST AND I COULD NOT BELIEVE MY EYES.

AND THEN I FELL BACK YOU KNOW, IT REALLY THREW ME OFF

GUARD. I HAVE A RABBIT, TINA, AS YOU

KNOW MY MALE RABBIT, TINA

>> Seth: YEAH. >> FREAKED OUT, LIKE I'VE NEVER

SEEN HER FREAK OUT BECAUSE I WAS FREAKING OUT

SO I CALMED DOWN, SAW IT RUN INTO MY DISHWASHER

THEN I WENT TO GO GET A STOOL BECAUSE I WANTED TO STAY IN THE

HALLWAY AND JUST STARE IT DOWN TO SEE WHERE IT GOES

AND THEN I SAW A MOUSE, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS A RAT.

BUT I SAW THE MOUSE, AND BACK‐TO‐BACK IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN I WAS CONVINCED IT WAS

A RAT. I SAT ON MY STOOL AND THEN I SAW

ITS LITTLE HEAD POP OUT. MICE ARE VERY, VERY CUTE

BUT, YOU KNOW, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

>> Seth: RIGHT >> AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS A

MOUSE. AND THEN I JUST ‐‐ AGAIN, IT

THREW ME BACK, SCARED TO DEATH [ LAUGHTER ]

CALMED DOWN. YOU KNOW, I'M JUST REALLY EDGY

AND I'M STILL EDGY TODAY, LIKE EVEN IF MY CELLULAR PHONE MAKES

A DING, I JUST JUMP. >> Seth: THE BEST OF US WOULD

MAYBE MANAGE TO GET PAST SEEING EITHER A WATERBUG OR A MOUSE,

BUT BACK‐TO‐BACK LIKE THAT >> BACK TO BACK.

IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S BEING ‐‐ WORK IS BEING DONE IN MY

APARTMENT. BUT THEN I READ UP ON WATERBUGS

AND, YOU KNOW, THEY BITE >> Seth: I WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN

THAT >> THEY BITE AND THEY GO FOR THE

TOES AND THEY SAY THAT IT'S A HARMLESS BITE BUT THAT IT HURTS.

>> Seth: NOW, YOU SAY THAT THEY GO FOR THE TOES.

IT WOULD SEEM TO ME THAT THAT WOULD BE THEIR ONLY OPTION BASED

ON PROXIMITY [ LAUGHTER ]

>> YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. WELL, IF YOU WERE TO OPEN A

DISHWASHER AND IT WAS UP UNDERNEATH THE HANDLE, I COULD

SEE IT GOING FOR A FINGER. >> Seth: YEAH, EXACTLY

I WOULDN'T THINK THAT IF A HAND CAME IN A WATERBUG WOULD SAY,

"I'M GOING TO WAIT FOR THE TOE," IS WHAT I'M SAYING

I BET THEY JUST BITE THE FIRST THING THEY SEE

>> WELL ‐‐ [ LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: YOU MENTIONED YOUR MALE RABBIT, TINA

WHO YOU NAMED TINA, NOT IRONICALLY

YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD A GIRL RABBIT AND WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON. HOW IS TINA HANGING IN THERE

>> TINA AND I HAVE BEEN REALLY TOGETHER DURING THIS WHOLE

QUARANTINE. WE'VE HAD EACH OTHER, IT'S BEEN

REALLY QUIET IN MY APARTMENT SO I THINK TINA FEELS REALLY

RELAXED. BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M AN ENABLER.

I'VE BEEN FEEDING HER TOO MANY SNACKS

SO I SENT HER AWAY TO FAT CAMP THIS COUPLE THAT LIVES OUT NEAR

THE AIRPORT AND THEY WATCHED HER FOR ME FOR A COUPLE WEEKS JUST

SO I COULD SEE TINA'S WAISTLINE AGAIN.

AND SO I WENT AND PICKED UP TINA AND NOW I'M BACK TO FEEDING HER

AGAIN. >> Seth: NOW, SO HOW DO YOU GO

ABOUT FINDING A SORT OF A DIETARY CAMP FOR A RABBIT?

HOW DOES THAT WORK OUT >> WELL, THIS IS THE COUPLE,

DOTTIE AND STEVE, THEY ALWAYS WATCH TINA FOR ME WHEN I HAVE TO

GO OUT OF TOWN >> Seth: GOT IT.

>> AND THEY LOVE TINA. SO I JUST SAID, YOU KNOW, THIS

TIME CAN YOU HELP ME SHE NEEDS TO LOSE A LITTLE BIT

OF WEIGHT. SO THEY DON'T OVERFEED HER LIKE

I DO >> Seth: SO BASICALLY THE

PROBLEM ISN'T THAT TINA OVEREATS

THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU OVERFEED TINA

>> I CAN'T SAY NO. I MEAN, HE'S CONSTANTLY BUGGING

ME FOR TREATS. THEY'RE JUST PELLETS

BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S CONSTANT, YOU KNOW

SHE'S A LITTLE ADDICTIVE AND I CAN'T SAY NO, SO ‐

>> Seth: HOW DOES A RABBIT GO ABOUT BEGGING FOR A TREAT?

IS IT AUDIBLE? >> WELL, THERE'S A CERTAIN ‐‐

IT'S NOT AUDIBLE BUT SHE'LL JUMP IN A CERTAIN

CHAIR OR IF I'M IN THE BED SHE'LL JUMP ON THE BED AND

SHE'LL KEEP CIRCLING ME OR SHE'LL NIP AT ME

>> Seth: YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> YOU KNOW, SO I JUST WOULD RATHER GIVE HER THE TREAT THAN

GET A RABBIT BITE BECAUSE THEIR TEETH ARE ‐‐

>> Seth: OH, WELL YEAH THIS NOW ‐ THIS IS SELF‐DEFENSE

NOW. [ LAUGHTER ]

I FORGIVE YOU. [ LAUGHTER ]

YOU ARE KNOWN AS BEING VERY CRAFTY

YOU LIKE TO DO THAT AS A WAY TO RELAX.

AND I WAS WONDERING WHEN THIS HITS, BACK IN MARCH, WERE YOU

WELL SUPPLIED? WERE YOU WELL STOCKED UP FOR THE

THINGS THAT AMY SEDARIS NEEDS IN HER HOUSE?

>> I'M VERY STOCKED UP I'M LIKE A VERY GOOD GIRL SCOUT

THAT WAY THE ONLY THING I HAD TO HOARD

WAS HAY. I BOUGHT 30 POUNDS OF HAY.

AND THAT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT I FREAKED OUT AND I HAD TO BUY

BUT, YOU KNOW, I HAD EVERYTHING ELSE

I LIKE COVERING LIGHTERS FOR PEOPLE

I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE ONE HERE. I JUST MAKE MY OWN LIGHTER

DECORATIONS AND THEN I SELL THEM WHENEVER I SEE PEOPLE.

AND THEN, I HAVE TWO GODKIDS, TWO BOYS

AND THE LATEST ART PROJECT WAS I MADE A TREASURE BOX, YOU KNOW,

SO MY FRIEND PAUL CAN BURY THE TREASURE AND THEY CAN FIND IT.

SO I OUTSOURCED IT AND A FRIEND OF MINE MADE THE MAP

AND THEN DECORATED THE BOX FOR ME

AND THEN I'VE BEEN COLLECTING THINGS TO GO IN THE BOX.

LIKE I FOUND A FEATHER, ONE EARRING.

I WENT TO THE BANK AND GOT THOSE GOLD DOLLAR COINS WHICH ARE

APPARENTLY HARD TO GET NOW BECAUSE THERE'S A SHORTAGE OF

COINS. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNEW THAT.

I HAD TO GO TO FOUR DIFFERENT BANKS, BUT I FINALLY GOT SOME

COINS. SO, I'M STILL ‐‐

>> Seth: NO, I THINK I'VE HEARD YOU TALK ABOUT A TREASURE BOX

BEFORE, AND IT MADE ME VERY EXCITED ABOUT DOING IT FOR MY

BOYS I FEEL LIKE ‐‐ WHAT'S THE AGE DO

YOU THINK A KID CAN ENJOY LOOKING ON A MAP AND FINDING A

TREASURE BOX >> 18.

[ LAUGHTER ] WELL THIS ‐‐ FIVE, SIX

>> Seth: YEAH, I THINK MY ‐‐ I GOT A FOUR‐YEAR‐OLD AND I FEEL

LIKE I'M A YEAR AWAY FROM HIM LOOKING AT A MAP

>> YOUR SON'S FOUR >> Seth: FOUR, YEAH.

>> WELL, YEAH, I'D WAIT. BUT YOU KNOW, IT REALLY BRINGS

OUT THE BOY IN MEN YOU KNOW, THEY GET REAL EXCITED

WHEN YOU SAY I'M COLLECTING ITEMS FOR A TREASURE BOX AND

THEY ALL WANT TO GET IN THERE AND THEY ALL RECOMMEND STUFF

IT'S REALLY KIND OF CUTE THEY GET EXCITED

>> Seth: I'M VERY HAPPY ‐‐ OF THE 30 POUNDS OF HAY, WHAT ARE

YOU AT RIGHT NOW >> I HAVE NINE POUNDS.

>> Seth: IS IT ALL GONE? >> NO, I HAVE NINE POUNDS LEFT

[ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: OH, GREAT

OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. [ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW, LEST PEOPLE THINK THAT YOUR REACTION TO THE WATERBUG

AND MOUSE MEANS YOU'RE NOT A LOVER OF NATURE.

IT SHOULD BE KNOWN THAT YOU WILL ACTUALLY GO TO A PARK AND YOU

WILL FEED ‐‐ YOU WILL BRING FOOD FOR SQUIRRELS.

>> OH, ABSOLUTELY. I'M INTO HAZELNUTS

>> Seth: OKAY GOTCHA >> RAW HAZELNUTS

AND I BUY THEM AT ‐‐ I GO TO EATALY BECAUSE I GO TO THE PARK

RIGHT ACROSS FROM EATALY AND THEN, IT'S FUNNY HOW MUCH

THEY CAN PUT IN THEIR MOUTH. AND THEY'LL COME RIGHT TO YOU.

BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT, LIKE, SIX.

IT'S LIKE, I JUST GAVE YOU SIX NUTS, BUT THEY WANT MORE, MORE,

MORE AND MORE. [ LAUGHTER ]

BUT YEAH, WHENEVER I LEAVE THE HOUSE I HAVE A BAG OF NUTS AND

BIRD SEED. >> Seth: I MEAN, THAT IS ‐‐ TO

GET A NUT FROM EATALY, I MEAN, THOSE SQUIRRELS ARE LIVING

>> RIGHT >> Seth: YEAH.

[ LAUGHTER ] WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

AMY SEDARIS. ♪

>> Seth: HERE IS MORE OF MY CONVERSATION WITH AMY SEDARIS.

PROPS ON YOUR SHOW AND I SHOULD NOTE THAT A LOT OF

PEOPLE WHEN THEY CREATE A TELEVISION SHOW, OTHER PEOPLE GO

OUT AND BUY THE PROPS FOR THEM MOST OF YOUR PROPS ARE FROM YOUR

ACTUAL LIFE, YOUR SELF‐COLLECTED PROPS.

>> A LOT OF THEM, YEAH MY DREAM IS TO OWN A PROP HOUSE.

>> Seth: CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THE PROP OF HUCKLEBERRY?

IS HUCKLEBERRY NEARBY? >> HUCKLEBERRY, CAN YOU SEE

HUCKLEBERRY? [ LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: OH, MY GOD, HUCKLEBERRY'S TERRIFYING

>> FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS HUCKLEBERRY.

VERY COMFORTABLE IT REALLY FEELS LIKE A LITTLE

BABY I BOUGHT THE OUTFIT IN THE

PREEMIE DEPARTMENT AT K‐MART IN NORTH CAROLINA

AND YOU MAKE THEM USING A KIT. LIKE YOU BAKE THE ARMS AND LEGS.

AND THEN YOU MAKE THE HAIR, IT'S ALPACA

AND YOU HAVE TO SEW IT WITH A LITTLE NEEDLE THAT TAKES

FOREVER. I DIDN'T MAKE HUCKLEBERRY.

SOMEONE MADE IT FOR ME BUT WHEN I WAS BRINGING IT BACK

FROM NORTH CAROLINA AND IT WENT THROUGH THE AIRPORT, YOU KNOW,

SCANNER, I HEARD PEOPLE LAUGHING, AND I TURNED AROUND

AND WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE LAUGHING AT MY BABY.

THEY'RE LAUGHING AT HUCKLEBERRY. [ LAUGHTER ]

I LIKE TO BE ABUSIVE WITH HUCKLEBERRY AND NEGLECT HIM A

LITTLE BIT JUST BECAUSE IT'S FUN TO BE MEAN

BUT, I LEFT HIM UNDER A PILE OF CLOTHES FOR YEARS.

AND SO THAT'S WHY HIS HAIR IS REALLY PATCHY.

>> Seth: YEAH. IT'S A REAL PATCHY LOOK, I WOULD

SAY. >> THAT'S A PATCHY LOOK.

BUT HE'S ‐ >> Seth: I THINK IF YOU BRING

HIM TO AN AIRPORT, YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM THE COURTESY OF A HAT

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, A

LITTLE SUN CAP I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

YEAH, SO WE PUT HUCKLEBERRY ON THE SHOW THIS YEAR

>> Seth: AND ARE THERE OTHER THINGS IN YOUR APARTMENT THAT

FIND THEIR WAY TO THE SHOW >> OH, LOTS OF THINGS I BRING

IN YOU'RE GOING TO ASK ME OFF THE

TOP OF MY HEAD BUT, GOSH, YOU KNOW, DRIED UP

PAPER MACHE PORK CHOP BONE [ LAUGHTER ]

THE KIND OF PHONE FROM THE '90s WITH A LONG ANTENNA.

EVERY KIND OF TASSEL THAT YOU SEE ON THE SHOW, ANY KIND OF,

LIKE COLORFUL PLASTIC FORK, OR SPOON, OR A GLASS, OR A BOWL

YOU KNOW, I'M LIKE, "OH, GO USE THIS."

FAKE TURKEYS, A FAKE HAM >> Seth: IS IT A SITUATION WHERE

YOU'RE ALREADY ON SET SOMETIMES AND YOU HAVE A REALIZATION OF,

OH, WE NEED A PAPER MACHE PORK CHOP BONE AND THEN YOU KNOW THAT

IT WOULD JUST BE FASTER TO GO HOME THAN TO ASK SOMEBODY TO GET

IT FOR YOU >> NO, I GET A U‐HAUL AND I

BRING EVERYTHING TO SET. SO HALF MY DRESSING ROOM IS A

BIG, YOU KNOW, SHELVING UNIT FULL OF PROPS.

AND I'LL GO, GO GET THAT POM‐POM, YOU KNOW.

I LOVE POM‐POMS. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: THE SHOW IS OSTENSIBLY ABOUT ENTERTAINING

AND YOU AND YOUR BROTHER DAVID, THE WRITER DAVID SEDARIS, AT A

VERY YOUNG AGE, LIKED TO PLAY ACT AS ENTERTAINERS, YES

>> YES IT WAS CALLED "THE REX AND

GERMALINA SHOW." AND IT WAS A COOKING SHOW, PLUS

A LITTLE BIT OF "PRICE IS RIGHT.

WE'D MAKE THE AUDIENCE GUESS HOW MUCH STUFF WAS, BUT IT WAS AN

IMAGINARY AUDIENCE AND THEN WE WERE A COUPLE.

AND LIKE WE WOULD MAKE CINNAMON ROLLS USING, LIKE, YOU KNOW,

WHITE SOCKS AND WE'D BALL THEM UP TO LOOK LIKE, YOU KNOW ‐‐

LIKE WE MADE EVERYTHING OURSELVES.

BUT IT WENT ON FOR YEARS >> Seth: WHAT WERE YOUR NAMES

AGAIN, SORRY >> REX AND GERMALINA

I'M NOT SURE WHERE THE NAMES CAME FROM.

[ LAUGHTER ] BUT THAT WAS OUR SHOW.

>> Seth: I KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR INABILITY TO

ENTERTAIN RIGHT NOW. THIS IS NOT A GOOD, SAFE TIME TO

HAVE PEOPLE OVER TO THEIR HOUSE. BUT YOU DO HAVE A VERY HELPFUL

TIP FOR WHEN THINGS OPEN UP AGAIN.

CAN YOU TELL US THE WAY ‐‐ YOU BASICALLY SNOOP PROOF YOUR HOUSE

FROM GUESTS. >> YEAH.

AND YOU CAN DO THIS BY PUTTING ‐‐ IF YOU HAVE ANY

MEDICATIONS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR ‐‐ IN

THE ‐‐ WHAT DO YOU CALL, MEDICINE CABINET IN THE

BATHROOM IF YOU PUT MARBLES OR PENNIES IN

THERE AND YOU SHUT THE DOOR, THEN ANYONE WHO OPENS IT, ALL

THAT'S GOING TO COME OUT AND IT'S GOING TO HIT YOUR PORCELAIN

SINK, AND IT'S REALLY FUNNY WHEN IT HAPPENS

AND THEN YOU KNOW WHO'S SNOOPING THROUGH YOUR MEDICINE CABINET.

IT REALLY WORKS. YOU'VE GOT TO TRY IT IF YOU HAVE

MEDICATION >> Seth: HAVE YOU FOUND THAT

WHEN YOU CATCH PEOPLE, DO THEY COME OUT AND SORT OF ‐‐ DO THEY

OWN IT DO THEY ADMIT?

>> THEY LAUGH. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: THAT'S GOOD BECAUSE THERE WOULD BE NOTHING

WORSE THAN SOMEBODY VERY QUIETLY PUTTING ALL THE PENNIES AND

MARBLES BACK AND HOPING THAT YOU HADN'T HEARD IT.

>> WE ALL HEARD IT [ LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: HEY, IT IS ALWAYS SUCH A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU AND TALK

TO YOU CONGRATULATIONS ON SEASON 3 OF

YOUR SHOW. AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN PERSON

NEXT TIME. >> YEAH, ME TOO.

THANKS SO MUCH I'LL SEE YOU SOON HOPEFULLY.

>> Seth: ALL RIGHT >> OKAY, BYE

>> Seth: BYE, AMY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH

JOY REID ♪

>> Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS THE HOST OF THE NEW SHOW "THE REID

OUT," WHICH AIRS WEEKNIGHTS AT 7:00 ON MSNBC.

HERE'S MY CONVERSATION WITH JOY REID

>> Seth: HEY, JOY. HOW ARE YOU?

>> I AM DOING WONDERFUL, SETH. HOW ARE YOU?

>> Seth: I'M DOING WONDERFUL AS WELL

CONGRATULATIONS ON LAUNCHING THE NEW SHOW

HOW HAS THE FIRST WEEK BEEN? >> IT'S BEEN REALLY CRAZY.

SO, YOU KNOW, LAUNCHING A SHOW, IT TURNS OUT TO BE A LITTLE BIT

OF WORK. [ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW, SO WE'VE BEEN DOING ‐‐ WE HAD TO PICK A GRAPHICS

PACKAGE, PICK SOME MUSIC, WE HAD TO GET, YOU KNOW A LOGO.

WE HAD TO, LIKE, YOU KNOW PREP THE CAST, MEET EVERYBODY, LIKE,

GET OURSELVES TOGETHER, GET EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW, WORKED OUT

AND THEN DO THE LAUNCH, THE BOOKING.

WHICH ACTUALLY WAS KIND OF THE MOST FUN PART BECAUSE LITERALLY,

YOU KNOW, WE GOT TOGETHER AND, LIKE, WHO WOULD WE LIKE TO GET

WE'RE, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, OPRAH, JESUS, AND OBAMA.

LIKE CAN WE GET THOSE PEOPLE YOU KNOW

AND WE ASKED ALSO ON THAT LIST, BIDEN, HILLARY CLINTON, AND THE

BOOKING GODS WERE PRETTY GOOD TO US

BECAUSE WE GOT A BIDEN/CLINTON DUO FOR THE FIRST SHOW

SO, SO FAR SO GREAT. >> Seth: YOU KNOW, YOU ALMOST

HAD SOMETHING IN COMMON, WHICH IS OUR FIRST SHOW WHEN WE DID

"LATE NIGHT" WAS JOE BIDEN AND AMY POEHLER.

AND AMY POEHLER OF COURSE PLAYED HILLARY CLINTON.

SO I FEEL LIKE WE BASICALLY HAD THE SAME FIRST SHOW.

>> IT'S THE SAME SHOW. IT'S EXACTLY ‐‐ BECAUSE

AMY POEHLER, I MEAN PRETTY MUCH IF SHE HAD SHOWED UP AT ANY

EVENT AND SAID SHE WAS HILLARY CLINTON, EVERYBODY WOULD

BE, LIKE, YEAH THAT'S WHO THAT IS

[ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: THESE THINGS ARE HARD

TO LAUNCH IN NORMAL TIMES. HAS ‐‐ HAD THE PANDEMIC HAS

SOCIAL DISTANCING. HAS, YOU KNOW I KNOW TO BE IN

30 ROCK RIGHT NOW WHERE YOU WERE TO LAUNCH THE SHOW EARLIER THIS

WEEK, IS ITS OWN THING AS WELL HOW HAS IT MADE IT MORE

DIFFICULT TO GET OFF THE GROUND? >> IT'S DEFINITELY CHANGED IT.

SO WE, YOU KNOW DECIDED TO DO THE ROAD TRIP AND GO UP AND

LAUNCH THE SHOW, EVEN THOUGH WE'RE GOING TO BE A D. C.‐BASED

SHOW WHEN WE'RE EVER BACK IN A STUDIO IN D. C.

YOU KNOW, WE DECIDED WE WANTED TO DO A BIG LAUNCH AND REALLY,

YOU KNOW, WE HAVE BIDEN, WE HAVE HILLARY, LET'S JUST DO IT BIG.

SO YOU KNOW THIS, SETH THE 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA IS A

MALL IT'S ACTUALLY A SHOPPING MALL.

>> Seth: YES >> IT'S GOT A BASEMENT WITH, YOU

KNOW, ENTRANCE FROM THE SUBWAY IT'S GOT SHOPS

IT'S GOT RESTAURANTS IT'S GOT LIKE A THING YOU CAN GO

UP AND SEE THE WHOLE CITY FROM IT'S A BEEHIVE

AND SO IT WAS LIKE BEING IN AN EMPTY BEEHIVE.

THERE WERE LIKE THREE BEES >> Seth: IT'S SO FUNNY BECAUSE I

HAVE BEEN WORKING PRETTY MUCH UNINTERRUPTED IN THAT BUILDING

SINCE 2001 AND I HAVE DEFINITELY MUDDLED

UNDER MY BREATH ABOUT THE NUMBER OF TOURISTS WHO WERE CLOGGING UP

THE OFFICE BUILDING THAT I WORK IN

>> YEAH. >> Seth: AND NOW I MISS THEM

MORE THAN I EVER THOUGHT I WAS CAPABLE OF MISSING ANYONE.

I SO WANT TO FIGHT MY WAY THROUGH A FAMILY OF EIGHT GERMAN

TOURISTS TO MY ELEVATOR. I WANT TO TIP MY CAP TO THE NAME

"THE REID OUT. WAS IT FUN COMING UP WITH A NAME

THAT LEANED INTO YOUR ACTUAL ‐‐ YOUR LAST NAME

>> NO. YOU KNOW, SO I ‐‐ WE LOVE A PUN,

RIGHT? I LOVE A PUN

SO I'VE DONE ALL THE SHOWS I'VE DONE HAVE BEEN READ PUNS OR

SOMETHING WITH "REID" IN IT. SO I WAS TRYING TO COME UP WITH

PUNS THAT WOULD BE, LIKE, SHORT AND TO THE POINT

THE OTHER NAME I CAME UP WITH THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE FUN WAS

"REID THE ROOM." CAUSE IT'S LIKE, "READ THE

ROOM," RIGHT I WAS LIKE, THAT'S FUN

>> Seth: YEAH. >> BUT "THE REID OUT" IS

SHORTER. IT'S BETTER HASHTAGGED

>> Seth: YEAH. >> AND I THINK THERE ARE BETTER

REID PUNS. I THINK THERE AREN'T ANYMORE

SO THAT'S IT HOPEFULLY ‐‐

>> Seth: AND I THINK YOU WANT TO START, YOU WANT THAT "THE"

ARTICLE AT THE BEGINNING OF IT YOU WANT "THE REID OUT."

IF IT'S "REID THE ROOM," LIKE YOU'VE LOST THE POWER OF THE

"THE." [ LAUGHTER ]

>> EXACTLY >> Seth: YOU HAVE A SEGMENT

CALLED "THE CRAZIEST DAMN THING," WHICH IS ‐‐

MUST BE HARD TO PICK ON ANY GIVEN DAY WHAT THE CRAZIEST DAMN

THING IS >> RIGHT

>> Seth: BECAUSE THERE IS CERTAINLY NO SHORTAGE WE HAVE

FOUND AT OUR SHOW. >> NO.

I MEAN, WE'VE HAD PEOPLE RIPPING DOWN MASKS, YOU KNOW, FOR NO

REASON WEARING A ROLEX LIKE, WE'VE HAD PEOPLE, YOU

KNOW, GOING TO CITY COUNCIL MEETINGS AND SAYING, YOU KNOW,

WEARING A MASK IS LIKE TYRANNY AND IT'S THE REASON THAT THE

FOUNDING FATHERS, LIKE, OVERTHREW THE BRITISH.

LIKE, WE'VE HAD JUST THE CRAZIEST YEAR ANYWAY

SO, YEAH, THE HARDEST THING IS TO SORT THROUGH ALL THE CRAZY

THINGS TO PICK THE CRAZIEST THING.

SO FAR, YOU KNOW, TRUMP IS TWO FOR 0.

YOU KNOW, I KNOW I GUESS TWO FOR TWO I GUESS ON BEING THE LATEST

CRAZIEST THING BUT I'M QUITE SURE IT WILL VERY

QUICKLY EXPAND TO OTHER CRAZY STUFF.

>> Seth: YES HE HAS PROVIDED INCREDIBLE COVER

TO OTHER CRAZY PEOPLE OR THOSE I SHOULD SAY WHO DO CRAZY THINGS

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YES

>> Seth: HE HAS PROVIDED NICE COVER.

I WANT TO ASK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN COVERING

"BLACK LIVES MATTER" AS A MOVEMENT SINCE 2012.

CAN YOU SPEAK TO, YOU KNOW, HOW YOU FEEL THE MOVEMENT HAS GROWN

AND WHERE YOU ARE CURRENTLY AT IN REGARDS TO OPTIMISM OR

PESSIMISM? >> YEAH.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS COVERING EVEN IN 2012 I WAS

AWARE THAT, YOU KNOW, BLACK LIVES MATTER, IT STARTED, YOU

KNOW, DURING ENSLAVEMENT RIGHT?

I MEAN BLACK LIVES MATTER IS AN AGE‐OLD MOVEMENT THAT JUST

CHANGES NAMES. IT'S BEEN THE CIVIL RIGHTS

MOVEMENT YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN RUN BY SNCC.

IT'S BEEN RUN BY THE SOUTHERN CHRISTIAN LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE.

IT'S BEEN JOHN LEWIS' MOVEMENT YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN DR. KING'S

MOVEMENT AND YOU KNOW, IN 2012, IT REALLY

LAUNCHED JUST AS THE TERM "BLACK LIVES MATTER," YOU KNOW, THREE

BLACK QUEER WOMEN LAUNCHED THIS HASHTAG.

AND IT WAS AROUND TRAYVON MARTIN, THIS KID WHO'S

WALKING DOWN THE STREET MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS

HE GETS KILLED BY SOMEBODY WHO HAD AN ASPIRATION OF BEING A

POLICE OFFICER SO IT HAD THIS SORT OF ‐‐ THE

FLAVOR OF POLICE VIOLENCE AGAINST BLACK BODIES

AND SO, IT LAUNCHED AROUND THIS IDEA OF SAYING, YOU KNOW, YOU

NEED TO THINK OF THESE YOUNG LIVES AS BEING IMPORTANT

AND WHY WE DON'T DO THAT IN AMERICA IS A BIG PROBLEM

AND SO BLACK LIVES MATTER LAUNCHED

AND THE THING THAT WAS SO DIFFERENT ABOUT THEN AND NOW, IS

THAT AT THE TIME YOU HAD A PRESIDENT WHO WAS INCREDIBLY

EMPATHETIC TO IT HE SAID, "IF I HAD A SON, HE'D

LOOKED LIKE TRAYVON OR I COULD HAVE BEEN TRAYVON.

AND YOU HAVE THAT EMPATHY IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

THAT DESIRE TO EMBRACE THE MOVEMENT, BRING THEM INTO THE

WHITE HOUSE, TALK TO THEM. YOU KNOW, ERIC HOLDER WAS TRYING

TO FIGURE OUT HOW COULD WE WORK WITH BLACK LIVES MATTER TO MAKE

THE COUNTRY BETTER BUT THE PUBLIC WAS AGAINST HIM

YOU KNOW, THE POLLING WAS TERRIBLE FOR BLACK LIVES MATTER.

YOU KNOW, WHITE AMERICA REALLY REJECTED THIS MOVEMENT EVEN WHEN

IT WAS ERIC GARNER AND MICHAEL BROWN AND ALL OF THESE

PEOPLE YOU KNOW, FREDDIE GRAY, I

COVERED THE FREDDIE GRAY MOVEMENT IN THE STREETS.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A GUY WHO WAS THROWN LIMP INTO THE BACK OF

A POLICE CAR AND THERE WAS STILL VERY LITTLE

EMPATHY. EVEN TAMIR RICE WHO WAS A BABY,

12‐YEARS‐OLD, NOTHING SEEMED TO MOVE THE PUBLIC AT LARGE OTHER

THAN BLACK FOLK AND BROWN FOLK TO BE FOR IT

NOW YOU HAVE THE FLIPSIDE OF THAT

IT'S COMPLETELY UPSIDE DOWN. YOU HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO'S

COMPLETELY UNSYMPATHETIC AND HOSTILE TO BLACK LIVES MATTER.

HOSTILE TO THE IDEA OF PEOPLE KNEELING, YOU KNOW SAYING THAT

WE WANT FAIRNESS AND JUSTICE FROM POLICE.

BUT THE PUBLIC IS NOW ON BLACK ‐‐ THE BLACK LIVES MATTER

MOVEMENT'S SIDE. AND THAT IS A HUGE CHANGE.

AND IT'S AN IMPORTANT CHANGE YOU'VE NOW GOT WHITE FOLKS OUT

THERE MARCHING AND GETTING TEARGASSED

MOMS IN PORTLAND GETTING TEARGASSED FOR BLACK LIVES

MATTER BEFORE IT WAS HEATHER HEYER

PUTTING HER LIFE ON THE LINE AND LOSING HER LIFE FOR BLACK LIVES

MATTER NOW IT'S A BUNCH OF MOMS

AND I THINK IT'S AN IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE

BECAUSE IT MEANS IT'S BROADER. THIS IS NOT A NICHE MOVEMENT

IT'S NOT JUST A BLACK PEOPLE CONCERN.

THIS IS THE PUBLIC REALIZING IF THEY'RE COMING FOR BLACK LIVES,

THEY'RE EVENTUALLY COMING FOR YOURS.

THEY'RE EVENTUALLY COMING FOR YOUR SECURITY AND PEACE.

ALL OF US HAVE TO BE IN THIS TOGETHER

I THINK THAT IS ACTUALLY AN IMPORTANT CHANGE

AND WE'RE SEEING LEGISLATION WE'RE ACTUALLY SEEING IT BECOME

LEGISLATION. SO THAT'S IMPORTANT.

>> Seth: IT'S OBVIOUSLY ALSO IMPORTANT TO HAVE VOICES LIKE

YOURS TALKING ABOUT THIS YOU'RE THE ONLY BLACK WOMAN

ANCHORING A NEWS SHOW RIGHT NOW, AND WE'RE REALLY LUCKY TO HAVE

YOU DOING THAT I WANT TO LEAVE BY ASKING, ARE

YOU PREFERRING THES HOURS TO YOUR "AM JOY" HOURS WHEN YOU

HOSTED A MORNING SHOW ON MSNBC >> WELL, YES AND NO.

OKAY, SO ON THE NO PART, TWO HOURS IS LIKE, THINK ABOUT HOW

MUCH YOU PAY FOR A 30‐SECOND TELEVISION COMMERCIAL, RIGHT

TWO HOURS IS LIKE GOLD RIGHT, YOU HAVE TWO WHOLE HOURS.

SO IT'S HARDER TO SHRINK MYSELF ‐

>> Seth: SURE. >> ‐‐AND ALL THE QUESTIONS I

HAVE ARE LIKE A HUNDRED QUESTIONS FOR JOE BIDEN.

I CAN ONLY ASK, LIKE, 40 OF THEM

RIGHT? YOU HAVE TO SHRINK IT DOWN

AND ALSO I LOVE HAVING MONDAYS OFF.

PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND MONDAY BEING SATURDAY AND TUESDAY BEING

SUNDAY IS EVERYTHING YOU CAN GET ALL YOUR STUFF DONE.

NOBODY'S IN THE STORES IT'S LIKE PERFECT.

SO I'M GOING TO MISS HAVING MONDAYS AND TUESDAYS AS MY

WEEKEND. BUT I LOVE THESE HOURS IN THE

SENSE THAT IT'S IMMEDIATE. LIKE, I'M NOT ANALYZING THE WEEK

FROM THE BACK END. WE'RE LITERALLY NOW FRONT LINE

EVERY DAY IN THE MIX FOR A NEWS JUNKIE, THERE'S

NOTHING BETTER THAN BEING ON THE AIR EVERY NIGHT IN PRIME TIME.

IT'S JUST ‐‐ IT'S A FABULOUS OPPORTUNITY.

>> Seth: WELL, CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN.

AND HOPEFULLY WHEN THIS ALL CLEARS UP, WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER

IN THE BUILDING. ALL THE BEST, JOY.

>> I WILL WAVE THROUGH THE GERMAN TOURISTS AT YOU

[ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: ALL RIGHT, SOUNDS GOOD.

♪ >> Seth: WELCOME BACK TO "LATE

NIGHT. AS YOU MAY KNOW, THROUGHOUT THE

QUARANTINE, THE CAST OF NUMEROUS BELOVED TV SHOWS, MOVIES AND

MUSICALS HAVE REUNITED THROUGH ZOOM

IT'S BEEN SO EXCITING TO SEE THESE PEOPLE GET BACK TOGETHER

AND THERE'S THIS REUNION I JUST SAW A COMMERCIAL FOR THAT I

CANNOT WAIT TO WATCH CHECK IT OUT

>> IN TROUBLED TIMES, NOTHING IS BETTER THAN SEEING FAMILIAR

FACES. FROM "THE OFFICE," TO

"HAMILTON," TO "BACK TO THE FUTURE."

WE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE SEEING YOU OLD FAVORITES BACK TOGETHER

AGAIN. AND NOW, ANOTHER GROUP IS

REUNITING. THE PEOPLE FROM YOUR GYM

THAT'S RIGHT, THE PEOPLE FROM YOUR GYM ARE BACK TOGETHER AND

REUNITED FOR A ONE TIME ONLY SPECIAL EVENT.

ALL YOUR FAVORITES WILL BE THERE LIVE FROM THEIR HOMES.

INCLUDING, THE GUY WHO IS DOING A THING THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT

AN EXERCISE. THE PERSON WHO STANDS BEHIND YOU

WHILE STARING BECAUSE SHE EITHER WANTS TO USE YOUR MACHINE OR

MURDER YOU AND THE MAN WHO PSYCHES HIMSELF

UP FOR WAY TOO LONG BEFORE A SET.

[ HEAVY BREATHING >> COME ON

COME ON. COME ON.

[ HEAVY BREATHING >> ALSO FEATURING SPECIAL

APPEARANCES BY THAT ONE OLD MAN WHO WEARS JEANS WHILE WORKING

OUT. THE WOMAN WHO IS WATCHING THE

MOVIE "BLUE VALENTINE" ON HER PHONE WHILE WORKING OUT WITHOUT

EAR PODS AND LITTLE TYLER, THE ONLY CHILD

WHO IS EVER IN THE GYM NURSERY THEY MAY BE IN THEIR HOMES, BUT

THEY'RE STILL THE SAME AS YOU REMEMBER

EVEN THE PERSONAL TRAINOR WHO IS GIVING VERY BAD ADVICE

>> ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA ADD ABOUT 70 MORE POUNDS

WE'RE GOING TO BRING IT UP JUST AS HIGH AS WE CAN AND THEN BRING

IT ON DOWN JUST AS CLOSE TO YOUR HEAD AS POSSIBLE

YOU REALLY WANT TO TRY TO KISS THE SKULL ON THIS ONE.

>> THE GUY WHO WRITES EACH SET DOWN IN A LITTLE NOTEBOOK LIKE

HE'S A GODDAMNED SIXTH‐GRADER. AND THE SULTANS OF THE SAUNA,

THE TWO TITANS WHO'S STEAMY DOMAIN NO ONE DARES TREAD ON

SPECIAL APPEARANCES BY THE MACHINE THAT HAS BEEN OUT OF

ORDER FOR THREE YEARS. THE WORK OUT BENCH THAT HAS

NEVER ONCE BEEN WIPED DOWN AND THE TELEVISION THAT IS

SHOWING "MAD MONEY" WITH JIM CRAMER NO MATTER WHAT TIME

IT IS. ALSO FEATURING, THE GIRL AT THE

FRONT DESK WHO SEEMS NORMAL AT FIRST, BUT WHEN YOU TALK TO HER

FOR A FEW MOMENTS, YOU'RE LIKE, YEESH.

>> WELL, I HEAD BILL GATES WIFE ATE THE CORONA BAT ON PURPOSE.

>> AND THE MAN WHO'S BEEN GOING THROUGH A VICIOUS CUSTODY BATTLE

WITH HIS WIFE AND CHOOSES TO HANDLE IT WHILE WORKING OUT.

>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S A QUARANTINE

I GET EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. >> IT'S THE PEOPLE FROM YOUR GYM

REUNION, LIVE THIS THURSDAY ON NBC.

ENJOY THESE PEOPLE ONE LAST TIME BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST, YOU'RE

NOT GOING TO THE GYM UNTIL THERE'S A VACCINE.

>> Seth: COME BACK TOMORROW WHEN OUR GUESTS WILL BE FORMER VICE

PRESIDENT, AL GORE AND FROM "THE MARVELOUS

MRS. MAISEL," RACHEL BROSNAHAN WILL BE HERE

PLUS, A NEW "CLOSER LOOK" BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I'M TAPING

THIS EARLY, I'M 100% CERTAIN THAT SOME NONSENSE HAPPENED BY

NOW AND WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT TOMORROW.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. ♪

>> Seth: I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS AMY SEDARIS AND JOY REID.

I WANT TO THANK NIKKI GLASPIE AND THE 8G BAND.

STAY TUNED FOR LILLY SINGH STAY SAFE.

WASH YOU HANDS WEAR A MASK.

WE LOVE YOU. ♪

♪