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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,111 --> 00:00:02,488 - Welcome to the distant future. 2 00:00:03,364 --> 00:00:07,786 This is pretty neat because the state of Nevada has given us... 3 00:00:08,828 --> 00:00:12,624 rented us a virtual reality system, which is for training purposes. 4 00:00:12,707 --> 00:00:15,794 You can be in... Travis, where are you now? 5 00:00:15,877 --> 00:00:18,588 - Yeah, it's not just a target range. It's like a... 6 00:00:18,671 --> 00:00:20,966 like an inner city neighborhood. 7 00:00:21,048 --> 00:00:24,010 - That's a good question. Is there hail or snow or anything? 8 00:00:24,093 --> 00:00:26,137 - Across the street, I'm going into the bank. 9 00:00:29,682 --> 00:00:33,478 - Shit! Shit! - Sorry. Sorry. 10 00:00:33,937 --> 00:00:35,396 - Really scary guy! - JIM: Scary guy? 11 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:36,940 - WOMAN: Scary guy. Scary guy. - Where? Where? 12 00:00:37,023 --> 00:00:38,357 -JIM: Where? Where? 13 00:00:42,528 --> 00:00:44,739 - It's a sad day here in Reno. 14 00:00:44,823 --> 00:00:48,200 We have a frequent public nuisance named T.T. 15 00:00:48,284 --> 00:00:49,368 I'm not sure what happened to her 16 00:00:49,452 --> 00:00:51,746 but her aunt sure was a pillar in the community, 17 00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:53,623 and so, we're mourning her today. 18 00:00:55,207 --> 00:00:58,127 The Reno Sheriff's Department has decided to pitch in 19 00:00:58,210 --> 00:01:01,255 and we're all pall bearers for her coffin. 20 00:01:01,339 --> 00:01:03,424 She was a great lady and she... 21 00:01:04,050 --> 00:01:05,051 - started a... 22 00:01:08,013 --> 00:01:10,849 an after-school program for homeless children. 23 00:01:11,474 --> 00:01:14,393 - She donated books to people in need. - Donated books. 24 00:01:15,436 --> 00:01:17,605 And T.T. is going through her stages of grief. 25 00:01:17,689 --> 00:01:19,900 It's really heartbreaking. 26 00:01:19,983 --> 00:01:21,985 I've never seen anything so sad. 27 00:01:22,903 --> 00:01:25,989 - You know, everyone experiences bereavement differently, 28 00:01:26,073 --> 00:01:28,909 so we try to have room for that... 29 00:01:28,992 --> 00:01:30,410 - Yeah. - ...experience. 30 00:01:30,493 --> 00:01:33,162 - Sometimes they cry, sometimes they hump things. 31 00:01:34,081 --> 00:01:35,331 Sometimes they dance. 32 00:01:35,415 --> 00:01:37,458 - Okay. Yeah. 33 00:01:39,836 --> 00:01:41,004 - All right. 34 00:01:41,088 --> 00:01:42,839 - My condolences. - My-- 35 00:01:45,008 --> 00:01:46,885 - Okay. Thank you. - You're very welcome. 36 00:01:57,104 --> 00:02:00,231 - MINISTER: We appreciate it so much. Thank you. 37 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,696 - JIM: Be a lady. Be a lady. - MINISTER: Okay. Okay. 38 00:02:08,031 --> 00:02:09,074 - JIM: Be a lady. 39 00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:11,034 - All right... 40 00:02:12,368 --> 00:02:15,997 Okay. You gotta be easy on that. - Be a lady. Be a lady. 41 00:02:16,081 --> 00:02:18,666 - All right, here we go. - We really appreciate you guys. 42 00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:20,752 - Absolutely. - I mean, in general. Yeah. 43 00:02:20,835 --> 00:02:22,963 - Well, thank you, thank you. I wouldn't necessarily... 44 00:02:23,046 --> 00:02:25,256 - T.T. Okay. Okay. No, let her. She's gotta mourn. 45 00:02:25,339 --> 00:02:27,968 - Let her. She's gotta mourn. Let her mourn. 46 00:02:28,051 --> 00:02:30,177 - She's gotta mourn. - WOMAN: No hitting. 47 00:02:30,261 --> 00:02:34,682 - So... Excuse me-- Excuse us. Excuse us. 48 00:02:34,766 --> 00:02:37,060 If we could just... Very sorry. Just have to... 49 00:02:37,144 --> 00:02:38,436 - MALE OFFICER: Wait. Wait. 50 00:02:38,519 --> 00:02:40,229 You can't go through here. 51 00:02:40,313 --> 00:02:42,189 They're doing demolition. 52 00:02:42,273 --> 00:02:43,650 - Doing demolition. Back it up. - Oh, shit. 53 00:02:43,733 --> 00:02:45,986 - All right. - Back it up. Back it up. 54 00:02:48,029 --> 00:02:51,240 - Sorry. I'm so sorry. Bringing this back. 55 00:02:51,324 --> 00:02:53,284 Absolutely. Absolutely. 56 00:02:58,456 --> 00:03:01,668 - To starboard. To the starboard. 57 00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:04,295 - Watch it. Watch your step. There's a curb. 58 00:03:04,378 --> 00:03:06,006 - There's a corner. - Hard to port. 59 00:03:06,089 --> 00:03:08,175 - Here we go. - Hard to port. 60 00:03:08,675 --> 00:03:10,844 - Oh, God, no! Oh, God, no! 61 00:03:11,385 --> 00:03:13,138 Go, go, go. Oh, it's so cold! 62 00:03:15,222 --> 00:03:16,516 - We can get through this. 63 00:03:16,599 --> 00:03:18,893 - Oh, God. Oh, that was really-- 64 00:03:19,602 --> 00:03:20,687 Okay. 65 00:03:22,772 --> 00:03:23,940 - MINISTER: Son of a-- 66 00:03:24,899 --> 00:03:26,651 - Quick, come. We're almost there. 67 00:03:26,734 --> 00:03:28,111 - Go, go, go, go, go! 68 00:03:29,154 --> 00:03:31,031 - That's it. Good pace. Great pace. 69 00:03:31,114 --> 00:03:32,949 - JIM: Did we make a wrong turn? 'Cause I got… 70 00:03:35,035 --> 00:03:36,161 - MINISTER: Jesus! 71 00:03:39,164 --> 00:03:41,499 - JIM: I think we made a wrong turn, I swear. 72 00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:44,627 Shit! Shit! 73 00:03:51,258 --> 00:03:53,427 Are we following T.T.? 74 00:04:00,810 --> 00:04:02,436 - TRAVIS: Go, go, go! 75 00:04:04,105 --> 00:04:06,774 - It's OK! -We're almost here! 76 00:04:06,858 --> 00:04:09,819 - This way, this way. - Hard to starboard. 77 00:04:10,444 --> 00:04:12,155 Hard to starboard. 78 00:04:14,699 --> 00:04:15,742 Jesus! 79 00:04:16,159 --> 00:04:17,618 Okay. Okay. 80 00:04:28,671 --> 00:04:31,132 Five, six, seven, eight. And... 81 00:04:33,509 --> 00:04:36,263 - MINISTER: Brothers and sisters... - TRAVIS: It's fine. Go! 82 00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:38,806 - MINISTER: Please join me for a moment of silence. 83 00:04:41,392 --> 00:04:43,061 Just a moment of silence. 84 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,331 - Sheriff's Department. - Somebody called you guys. 85 00:05:04,415 --> 00:05:05,708 - I'm sorry, it took a while. 86 00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:08,502 - Yeah, we just sat down to eat when we got the call. 87 00:05:08,586 --> 00:05:10,546 - I'm Steve. I'm the flight attendant. 88 00:05:10,630 --> 00:05:13,300 Kind of in charge of economy class. - Sure. 89 00:05:13,382 --> 00:05:15,593 - Exhausting! - Yeah, I bet it's exhausting. 90 00:05:15,676 --> 00:05:19,472 - What happened wrong today is a woman... 91 00:05:19,555 --> 00:05:22,100 and I don't want you to let her know we're talking about her... 92 00:05:22,183 --> 00:05:25,312 in a blue shameez in the third row... 93 00:05:25,394 --> 00:05:27,897 - Guys, can I save you some time? 94 00:05:27,981 --> 00:05:29,398 - Ma'am. Ma'am! - Ma'am. 95 00:05:29,941 --> 00:05:32,777 - So she's sitting-- You know what, I'll pretend that I'm her, okay? 96 00:05:32,861 --> 00:05:34,570 - And I'm gonna sit here and... - First of all, don't dress like that 97 00:05:34,654 --> 00:05:37,073 if you wanna be taken seriously. - ...she's hitting the buzzer 98 00:05:37,157 --> 00:05:38,867 every three minutes. - So you're her? 99 00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:40,243 - "Sir, I need chap-sticks." 100 00:05:40,327 --> 00:05:43,538 - I come over. She says, "I spilled all the nuts in my lap." 101 00:05:43,621 --> 00:05:45,332 She's like, "Can you grab them? Help me grab them." 102 00:05:45,414 --> 00:05:46,791 - So you're-- Yeah. - So you be me, 103 00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:48,835 and I put my hand down there... - So you're you. 104 00:05:48,918 --> 00:05:50,586 - ...and then she starts doing this. 105 00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:52,088 - Okay. - Like trying to 106 00:05:52,172 --> 00:05:54,590 shove her vaginal mound into my wrist. 107 00:05:54,674 --> 00:05:56,259 - Shut your hole. Shut your hole. 108 00:05:56,343 --> 00:05:58,636 - So she says, "Go up there and grab my jacket, 109 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,471 because, well, I'm seat-belted. 110 00:06:00,555 --> 00:06:03,225 As I'm grabbing her jacket, she's doing this, 111 00:06:03,308 --> 00:06:06,686 just giving me little Eskimo kisses with her nose. 112 00:06:06,769 --> 00:06:08,646 Just like this. - This is... 113 00:06:08,730 --> 00:06:10,398 - Nice and slow. - This is... I do-- 114 00:06:10,481 --> 00:06:11,816 - I'm look for a jacket... - Why is he wearing shorts? 115 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:13,943 - Why are you wearing shorts? - ...that doesn't even exist. 116 00:06:14,027 --> 00:06:15,486 And she's going like this 117 00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:17,947 - pretending she's reaching in the back... - I will sue you! 118 00:06:18,031 --> 00:06:19,741 - ...for my jacket. 119 00:06:19,824 --> 00:06:21,910 - And what's really happening is... - Excuse me. 120 00:06:21,993 --> 00:06:25,372 - ...I'm getting ass-raped by her vaginal mound. 121 00:06:25,914 --> 00:06:29,251 - Excuse me. I'm sorry. He doesn't work for the airline. 122 00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:30,752 He's the one I called you about. 123 00:06:30,835 --> 00:06:33,088 He was rubbing his groin on this passenger. 124 00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,965 - Shit. God damn it. Get down in first. 125 00:06:36,258 --> 00:06:39,928 - Don't get near me or I will open this door 126 00:06:40,011 --> 00:06:42,180 and suck you all out into space. 127 00:06:42,264 --> 00:06:43,556 - I don't think he's bluffing. 128 00:06:44,473 --> 00:06:47,018 - It's like 12 feet down, right? 14 feet? - It's like 12 feet. 129 00:06:54,025 --> 00:06:55,735 - We work really hard, 130 00:06:55,818 --> 00:06:57,320 but if we didn't love it, 131 00:06:57,404 --> 00:07:00,198 honestly, we wouldn't be here. 132 00:07:00,282 --> 00:07:02,909 - Believe it or not, the Reno Sheriff's Department 133 00:07:02,992 --> 00:07:04,369 has jobs available. 134 00:07:04,452 --> 00:07:07,496 - Reno Sheriff's Department is looking for a few good men, 135 00:07:08,039 --> 00:07:10,333 and women, and transgender, 136 00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:13,336 and non-gender specific gen-Z-ers. 137 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,255 - Even with criminal records. 138 00:07:15,338 --> 00:07:19,259 - Up to and including the retarded. 139 00:07:19,342 --> 00:07:22,053 - I love it here, and if I didn't, I could quit at any time. 140 00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:24,180 Really, I could just get up and walk out. 141 00:07:24,639 --> 00:07:26,975 - I'm so happy, I must be dreaming. 142 00:07:27,558 --> 00:07:31,313 - I didn't even use my six hours of time off last Christmas. 143 00:07:32,063 --> 00:07:34,482 - So join the Reno Sheriff's Department. 144 00:07:34,565 --> 00:07:37,860 - ALL: Fax in your applications now. 11194

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