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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,531 --> 00:00:04,741 - Sheriff Department! 2 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:10,329 Sheriff Department! 3 00:00:11,664 --> 00:00:13,917 You reported a crime on your doorbell camera? 4 00:00:15,042 --> 00:00:16,461 Probably just a guy in a hoodie. 5 00:00:17,712 --> 00:00:20,089 It's always just a guy in a hoodie. Sheriff Department! 6 00:00:21,925 --> 00:00:24,302 Going, going. Nope. Okay. 7 00:00:25,011 --> 00:00:26,638 Call the Fire Department next time. 8 00:00:27,639 --> 00:00:30,141 Can't be here all day, guys. I can't be here all day. 9 00:00:30,224 --> 00:00:31,434 I got stuff to do. 10 00:00:31,517 --> 00:00:34,103 Your doorbell camera is not deputized. 11 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:09,889 Why would-- 12 00:01:10,723 --> 00:01:12,058 Who would do this? 13 00:01:12,642 --> 00:01:13,977 Who would do this? 14 00:01:14,811 --> 00:01:15,812 Why? 15 00:01:16,479 --> 00:01:17,522 Why? 16 00:01:24,278 --> 00:01:26,113 Why! 17 00:01:31,327 --> 00:01:35,415 - Welcome to the Secure and Sassy Concealed Carry Fashion Show. 18 00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:39,544 Heather's working a casual look. She's running errands. 19 00:01:39,627 --> 00:01:41,337 But she's not running scared. 20 00:01:43,048 --> 00:01:44,173 Thank you, Heather. 21 00:01:44,257 --> 00:01:45,967 Next up is Shawna. 22 00:01:46,051 --> 00:01:49,596 Shawna's ready for yoga class. What's up in that yoga mat? 23 00:01:50,388 --> 00:01:53,391 It's a 12 gauge pump. Nama-stay safe! 24 00:01:56,019 --> 00:01:58,855 She's a ten... with a pair of nines! 25 00:01:58,939 --> 00:02:00,941 Who's ready for evening wear? 26 00:02:08,698 --> 00:02:11,534 Clemmie is ready for a night on the town. 27 00:02:11,618 --> 00:02:13,369 But she's no sitting duck. 28 00:02:13,453 --> 00:02:15,122 Where are you packing, Clemmie? 29 00:02:16,623 --> 00:02:19,417 - CLEMENTINE: There's a couple of things in life that I'm really into right now. 30 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:20,710 One of them is fashion. 31 00:02:20,794 --> 00:02:24,589 And one of them is not having anyone piss all over my rights. 32 00:02:24,672 --> 00:02:27,092 - PRESENTER: Well, what's so special about that swimsuit? 33 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,847 That's right. It's Kevlar! 34 00:02:32,931 --> 00:02:35,976 Stay away from her pool party, ISIS. 35 00:02:40,105 --> 00:02:42,523 - MAN 1: Hello, cops. Hello. - MAN 2: What's up, pigs? 36 00:02:42,607 --> 00:02:45,693 - We see you. I see you're on duty-- I'm on duty, too. 37 00:02:45,777 --> 00:02:48,279 Okay, we just saw you tryin' to protect the Constitution 38 00:02:48,362 --> 00:02:50,323 with our goddamn phones, man. 39 00:02:50,406 --> 00:02:56,079 - These kids, now they're trying to catch us doing something wrong all the time. 40 00:02:56,163 --> 00:02:58,665 I mean, it's tiresome. - They're gonna have a long wait. 41 00:02:58,748 --> 00:03:00,500 - MAN 1: How many guns you got in there? 42 00:03:02,669 --> 00:03:04,004 - FEMALE OFFICER: Fifty. 43 00:03:04,087 --> 00:03:07,966 - JONES: Fifty? - MAN 1: Fifty! That's way too many guns. 44 00:03:08,049 --> 00:03:10,343 - JONES: How many guns you got out there? - None! 45 00:03:11,845 --> 00:03:13,096 - MAN 1: Don't laugh! 46 00:03:14,097 --> 00:03:15,098 That's not funny. 47 00:03:15,182 --> 00:03:16,432 - JONES: Whoa! That's our guy! 48 00:03:16,516 --> 00:03:18,309 - FEMALE OFFICER: That's our guy! - JONES: Let's go! 49 00:03:18,392 --> 00:03:20,895 - MAN 1: We got it! Oh, my God! 50 00:03:20,979 --> 00:03:22,814 What the-- You're opening fire! 51 00:03:22,897 --> 00:03:25,232 These police officers have just opened fire! 52 00:03:25,316 --> 00:03:26,567 - MAN 1: They're shooting him! 53 00:03:29,863 --> 00:03:31,698 - Hi, guys. - Hey, fellas. 54 00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:34,575 -Welcome! - Congratulations. You got jury duty. 55 00:03:34,659 --> 00:03:35,660 - Bienvenue. 56 00:03:35,952 --> 00:03:38,205 - Congratulations, you got ju-- Wait, no. 57 00:03:38,287 --> 00:03:39,747 You got jury duty. 58 00:03:39,831 --> 00:03:41,708 - Which one of you guys-- Somebody named Tryst? 59 00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:44,794 - I'm Tryst. - What kinda name is Tryst? 60 00:03:44,878 --> 00:03:46,963 - You have $3,400 in unpaid parking tickets. 61 00:03:47,047 --> 00:03:48,381 - I thought... Wait. 62 00:03:48,464 --> 00:03:49,716 - We'll see you in court. 63 00:03:49,799 --> 00:03:51,134 - But... - Hang on to that. 64 00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:52,969 - Okay, don't hit him, sir. - I'm not hitting him. 65 00:03:53,053 --> 00:03:54,679 I'm not hitting anybody. Did I hit anybody? 66 00:03:54,762 --> 00:03:56,097 - ALL: No! - You absolutely did not. 67 00:03:56,181 --> 00:03:58,391 - I didn't. Who's got all the dick pics on this one? 68 00:03:58,474 --> 00:03:59,517 - Me, sir. 69 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,644 - Is that you or a friend? - It's a friend. 70 00:04:02,645 --> 00:04:05,481 - Well done. - I mean, I would've said it was me. 71 00:04:08,943 --> 00:04:11,779 - This morning, we found out a model had to drop out. 72 00:04:11,863 --> 00:04:14,741 She had a bowhunting accident over the weekend. 73 00:04:14,824 --> 00:04:17,368 - Clemmie had a friend-- - It's not a friend. 74 00:04:17,451 --> 00:04:21,248 Had a-- Knew someone who could step in at the last minute. 75 00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:23,166 So we're gonna give her a go. 76 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:29,463 - I know you've never done this before but you've probably watched models before? 77 00:04:29,797 --> 00:04:33,260 - You've never watched a fashion show? - I don't have a TV anymore. 78 00:04:34,635 --> 00:04:36,429 - Okay. Okay. 79 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,432 Well, why don't you-- This a runway. 80 00:04:39,515 --> 00:04:42,600 - Smize. And then I smize. And then I smize. 81 00:04:42,684 --> 00:04:45,146 And then I smize. And then I smize. 82 00:04:45,230 --> 00:04:46,940 - I'm gonna pause you for a second. - Okay. 83 00:04:48,149 --> 00:04:50,026 - It got weird-- - Take this seriously. 84 00:04:50,110 --> 00:04:52,862 - CLEMENTINE: Trudy's like that old spare tire that you forget about. 85 00:04:52,946 --> 00:04:56,532 - Sure it's bald... barely gonna get you-- - Stop complimenting. 86 00:04:56,616 --> 00:04:59,452 Stop with the compliments. My head is getting big. 87 00:04:59,535 --> 00:05:01,288 - I've got so many compliments just like that one. 88 00:05:01,370 --> 00:05:03,123 - PRESENTER: Up next, it's Trudy. 89 00:05:03,957 --> 00:05:05,292 Tennis, anyone? 90 00:05:05,374 --> 00:05:07,794 - TRUDY: I have never walked in a fashion show before. 91 00:05:07,877 --> 00:05:09,503 But I do walk around a lot... 92 00:05:09,587 --> 00:05:12,339 to the coffee machines, sometimes to the vending machine, 93 00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:16,552 and I have been told... that I look pretty good doing it. 94 00:05:16,636 --> 00:05:18,721 - Who told you that? Name names. 95 00:05:20,556 --> 00:05:23,476 - Roberto. He's new. 96 00:05:25,686 --> 00:05:27,438 He and I are kind of having a thing. 97 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,902 - PRESENTER: Trudy is serving up a beautiful silhouette. 98 00:05:33,653 --> 00:05:35,613 Nice backhand, Trudy. 99 00:05:35,697 --> 00:05:37,032 What about that tennis racket? 100 00:05:37,532 --> 00:05:39,408 I 40-love it. 101 00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:42,871 As if Trudy was not creating enough of a diversion herself... 102 00:05:42,954 --> 00:05:44,206 Flash grenade! 103 00:05:47,167 --> 00:05:49,585 Ball's in your court, date rapists. 104 00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:54,007 Trudy, is that a .32 ACP gun in your pocket 105 00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:57,302 or are you just happy to live a country with the Second Amendment? 106 00:05:58,636 --> 00:05:59,804 - MAN: Shooter! 107 00:06:11,649 --> 00:06:12,942 - I'm okay. 108 00:06:13,442 --> 00:06:14,569 Shit! 109 00:06:14,652 --> 00:06:15,737 - MAN: Sorry. 110 00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:21,076 - Next up is Lisa! 8409

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