Original subtitles

♪ ("JINGLE BELLS" PLAYING) ♪

MAN ON PHONE: Now, you two have done good so far.

So, keep calm, keep breathing right.

It's almost over.

What are they saying now?

Shut up.

MAN ON PHONE: You shouldn't talk to your wife that way.

She's been through a lot.

MATTHEW DODSON: Listen here!

MAN ON PHONE: No, you listen.

You listen and do exactly what the fuck I tell you to do

or this ends real bad.

Do you see that desk behind you?

Put your fancy fucking suitcase on that desk.

Not until I see my son.

MAN ON PHONE: All right.

They're loading up a car up above,

your kid's in that car.

Put the case on the desk and open it up.

O... O... O... Okay. Hold... Hold on.

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

I'm here.

MAN ON PHONE: We're gonna give you a look.

You see the kid, you run down the street.

Get the kid off the car, don't look back,

and never say a word about it.

He's on the car. Charlie's on the car.

MAN ON PHONE: Do we understand each other?

- Yes, yes. - Please. Please don't hurt him.

MAN ON PHONE: Here it comes.

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

EMILY DODSON: Charlie.

MAN: Let's go, let's go!

(BELL DINGING)

- EMILY: Excuse me. - MATTHEW: Move, move.

Excuse me.

(EMILY BREATHING FRANTICALLY)

(SOBBING) Oh, Charlie boy. Charlie boy.

MATTHEW: Jesus.

EMILY: Oh, you're such a brave boy.

You're not crying.

(SOBBING)

Matthew. Matthew.

MATTHEW: Yes.

What's wrong? What's wrong with him?

What's wrong with him?

(GASPS)

- Charlie! - (SCREAMS)

Jesus Christ!

- (CRYING) - Help! Help!

Jesus!

Help!

Help!

PETE STRICKLAND: Okay, Mason, here's one for you.

Are you being cheated out of life's thrills?

Probably.

PETE: Love, romance, excitement?

Never heard of them.

PETE: Mayhaps you should read Lipstick Girl

by Edna Robb Webster.

PERRY MASON: Never heard of her.

(CHUBBY CARMICHAEL BELCHES)

PETE: Hey, what do you know? It begins today.

Forty cents for two coffees and toast?

How many gallons do you throw in the truck?

- Uh, six. - MASON: Six gallons?

Three days of meals, another two days of gas.

Oh, yeah. Here we go.

Chapter one.

The Pappe & Son Department Store,

the largest mercantile establishment in Mitchelfield

- was arousing itself noise... - S.S. Chubby's setting sail.

- Hey. Come on. - Say goodbye to Edna.

Get out in front of him; I'll follow from behind.

- Lot of behind to follow. - (WHISPERS) Go.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MASON: You're kidding me.

PETE: We get to go to the movies.

(LAUGHTER)

Hey!

Cut it out now.

(LAUGHTER)

PETE: Fucking horse kicking him in the ass,

how do you not find that hilarious?

I grew up on a farm.

Steering's all loose.

- What'd you do it? - I didn't do anything.

You know, maybe Chubby's keeping it clean

'cause he's seen this milk truck following him around town.

If you don't have a car, don't complain.

PETE: Not my fault, Ruthie broke the axle.

- MASON: Another complaint. - PETE: Just 'cause the guy

has a high-pitched voice, that's no reason

to rob a guy of his livelihood.

He brought a lot of joy to a lot of people.

Well, he's not bringing me any.

Three days waiting for him to stick his dick in something.

Studio signs him to a contract, they should honor it.

Who cares what he does with his pants off?

Walt LeBaron cares, that's who.

He's the one who's paying you.

Morals clause, shmorals clause.

Whole town needs a shot in the dick.

Hey, heading right.

Hey.

VELMA "RED" FULLER: Hi, Chubby.

CHUBBY: Well, hello, Red.

PETE: Oh, wow.

Here we go.

Hey, how about I have a look? You stay in the truck?

Sure.

You know, that's your problem. You get no pleasure out of life.

Shut up.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(MATTRESS SPRINGS CREAKING)

(LAUGHTER)

(RED MOANING)

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

(RED MOANING)

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

(GLASS BREAKING)

(CHUBBY LAUGHING)

(RED MOANING)

(LAUGHTER)

Oh, God. Oh, God.

- (SCREAMING) - MASON: Pete, start the truck!

Pete, start the car!

- (CAR ENGINE STARTS) - CHUBBY: Son of a bitch!

I'll get you, you prick!

You sons of bitches!

I'm going to kill you, you cocksuckers.

- (PETE LAUGHS) - Oh, yeah!

PETE: Chubby, you glorious bastard!

He threw a shoe at me.

I'm your biggest fan!

MASON: Evening, Rigoberto. Can you open the gate?

I can if you say it.

Something about a clown.

(TALKING IN SPANISH)

Does it have to be in Spanish?

This whole place used to be Spanish.

(ENGINE STOPS)

♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(COW MOOS)

(INDISTINCT SPANISH CHATTER)

MASON: Shit.

What are you doing? Trying to get yourself killed?

You want some breakfast?

(MAN TALKING IN SPANISH)

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

(MASON CLICKS TONGUE)

Here, get up, get up.

Good girl. Good girl. Good girl.

Eat your hay. Stay off the runway.

(COW MOOS)

Come on.

Now, stay.

Not you.

They don't want me around either.

(MAN TALKING IN SPANISH)

(SNORING)

"I'd have said it was over when the talkies came."

But clearly,

the man still has a lot to offer the world.

(GROGGILY) How did you get in here?

ELIAS BIRCHARD JONATHAN: "The clown carries you."

He just... he just gave you the password?

Well, I'm a very persuasive lawyer.

- You forget that sometimes. - Yup.

I try to forget a lot of things.

At some point, you got to admit this isn't working out.

MASON: What do you mean?

Let me speak for the dead

and say your parents didn't want this for you.

MASON: The farm's still here.

You got pans on their bed.

What do you want, E.B.?

E.B.: Herman Baggerly called me last night.

I called you, you don't answer.

Who's Herman Baggerly?

Major player, boyo. Lumber, real estate,

one of the fattest bank accounts in the city.

What's he doing with you then?

I've helped him in the past.

Certain business matters which require discretion

- and finesse. - MASON: Yeah, 20 bucks

- a billable hour. - Well, man has to eat.

And I'd say we both understand that.

And you need me why, E.B.?

Because some friend of his is in trouble,

the police are involved and you're good at your job.

3:00 p.m. at my office.

I don't know, I got a lot going on today.

The Chubby thing, and I'm due in court.

I'm getting paid to serve as a material witness.

- That Frank Dillon case. - Deep pockets on Baggerly.

- Opportunity for both of us. - Yeah? Is he looking to buy

a two-cow dairy in the middle of an airport?

E.B.: You're really thinking to sell?

(SIGHS)

I haven't seen you in three months, E.B.

Well, it's been quiet out there, boyo.

I don't deny it.

But this is a live one.

3:00 p.m., wear your good suit.

This is my good suit.

E.B.: And there's egg on your tie.

(LAUGHTER)

WALT LEBARON: Oh, boy.

Yeah, that's him all right.

No question of moral relativity here.

I mean, that's

that's food. (CHUCKLES)

- Pumpkin pie, I'm pretty sure. - WALT: I blame his agent.

I mean, I got nothing against the guy myself,

you understand but, um

I'm not here to judge anyone, Mr. LeBaron.

- I just wanna get paid. - Ah,

I will have someone cut you a check.

Business affairs, please, Mitch.

What did we say, um, 200?

MASON: We did say that. Of course, that was for pictures

of Chubby Carmichael but, uh,

these happen to be pictures of, um, Velma Fuller,

or should I "Call Her Red"?

MAN ON PHONE: Business affairs.

Hello? Hello...

WALT: Okay.

How much did you have in mind?

Five hundred seems fair.

- Don't be ridiculous. - Fine, make it six,

- that's serious... - You got some fucking nerve.

Nerve and these nasty, nasty pictures

of your up-and-coming starlet.

Okay.

I'm gonna have to walk this up to Mr. Hammersmith.

Be sure to send him my regards.

Mason

you've got an egg stain on your tie.

Yeah, turns out it's mustard.

VIRGIL SHEETS: How was your Christmas?

MASON: Yeah, it came and went.

My wife's folks came by on the day.

Her mom brought a fruitcake,

could have been used by the pharaohs.

Kids cried when I made them eat it.

You got a kid, right?

Yeah, lives with his mom.

Well, you spent Christmas with them, right?

- No. - Well, how come?

Are you, um, lonely or something, Virgil?

MASON: He went out happy.

Well, if happy's drowning in panties and a matching bra,

yeah, why not?

He was wearing man clothes on the outside.

What's with that?

Oh, my next patient.

Kidnapping gone way wrong.

Worst thing you ever seen.

What do you know what I've seen?

How's this?

I like it better than the suit.

I got a domestic stabbing with a three piece, if you want.

FENTON BOSTWICK: Mr. Mason, in what capacity were you hired

- by the defense? - I was hired

as a private investigator.

And is that, these private investigations,

the current means by which you earn a living?

- You know it is, Fenton. - (JUDGE CLEARS THROAT)

Um, pardon me. Uh, yes, Mr. Bostwick.

BOSTWICK: Now, am I correct in asserting

that you were recently cited for assault?

- Mr. Mason. - I'm sorry. What?

A complaint for assault.

- This is irrelevant, Your Honor. - BOSTWICK: I'm sure

- that you resent this line... - No, what I resent

is Alvin Rutherford showing up repeatedly

and offering me pennies on the dollar for a home

my father built with his own hands.

Tragic, Mr. Mason, but assault?

I threw a cowpie at him.

(LAUGHTER)

BOSTWICK: That's funny.

However, far less amusing

is the dishonorable end to your military career.

That has nothing to do with this trial.

BOSTWICK: A blue discharge for conduct unbecoming.

Would you care to elaborate on that, Mr. Mason?

- Was that a mistake? - Feel free to jump in, Frank.

Objection.

- Question of relevance. - You're goddamn right.

JUDGE: Sustained.

- Watch the God talk, sir. - Sorry.

BOSTWICK: Nothing further, Your Honor.

MASON: E.B. send you 'cause he thought I forgot

the way to the office?

DELLA STREET: The meeting's changed.

We're going to Pasadena now.

We are? Fine, we can take my truck.

We could if the plan was to make the world's worst impression.

Oh, I don't have to plan for that.

That happens naturally.

I'll say, you were just four words from contempt of court.

Go fuck yourself. I could have got that in.

Thus demonstrating your masterful knowledge

- of legal decorum. - Frank Dillon is sitting there

like a monument to the useless and the judge is concerned

with my decorum? Why didn't he hold him

in contempt? Because I sure as hell did.

Letting him dig into me like that.

A fucking peanut vendor would have known to object.

So many windmills, so little time.

How are you today, Miss Street?

Peachy.

How are you, Mr. Mason?

HERMAN BAGGERLY: I wasn't expecting a congregation.

E.B.: I rely on Miss Street

to keep the facts straight, Herman.

Do you intend to take notes, Miss?

DELLA: That's generally what I do.

Unless you object.

And you're a detective, Mr. Mason?

It's a fancy word for a busybody, but yes.

We've been working together since, uh... when was it?

Just after the war.

Gave him his first job back from France,

- isn't that right, Perry? - HERMAN: You served overseas?

With lots of other farm boys.

Mr. Mason was in the army,

survived the Battle of the Argonne.

How can we help you, Mr. Baggerly?

HERMAN: It's not me that needs help, Mr. Mason.

Matthew and Emily Dodson,

an unspeakable act

was visited upon them, they're quite overwhelmed.

E.B.: Consider us at their service.

- Friends of yours? - Members of my church.

Working people without many resources.

E.B.: Well, God has put you in their path.

Is this a...

HERMAN: Radiant Assembly of God.

- Right. On the radio. - Sister Alice.

A woman of wonder-working power.

I won't hesitate to say that she changed my life.

Do the Dodsons know you contacted me, Herman?

They're anxiously awaiting your guidance, Elias.

What about the police?

How's that?

Well, they'll be on this hammer and tongs.

Why not leave it to them?

I'll be frank, Mr. Mason.

I don't trust the Los Angeles Police Department

to do the job that's needed.

Neither would I.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

STEVE HOLCOMB: So you found this upstairs?

MATTHEW: I told you, my wife did.

- I was at work. - And she called you?

Yeah. Hysterical.

Why neither one of you call the police?

Read the note.

You can read, can't you?

So your wife finds the note, calls you, what she do next?

MATTHEW: How should I know? Ask her.

DETECTIVE ENNIS: We'll get to her in a minute.

HOLCOMB: You own a grocery store,

- much money in that? - What?

HOLCOMB: Nice house for a grocer.

It can't be cheap to maintain.

MATTHEW: What's that supposed to mean?

HOLCOMB: How long does it take to get

- from the grocery store to here? - MATTHEW: What difference does it make?

- Easy, Matthew... - How am... Are you suggesting

I had something to do with it? What the hell?

ENNIS: Just covering all angles, Mr. Dodson.

MATTHEW: Where was I? Who saw me?

I didn't kidnap my son.

- I didn't murder my own son. - E.B.: No one is saying you did.

MATTHEW: Well, he is! And he's dancing around,

but that's what he fucking thinks.

E.B.: Maybe this is a good time for a little break.

Sound okay to you, Detective Holcomb?

Yeah. Why not.

- E.B.: Get some fresh air. - MATTHEW: It's all right.

You treated me like... You can't...

- You can't just walk... - E.B.: Easy now, Matthew.

Let's have a little drink of cold water, shall we?

MATTHEW: Water. Right, great idea.

That'll fix everything.

E.B.: It's all part of the process.

(COMMOTION OUTSIDE)

(FLOOR CREAKING)

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(CAMERA CLICKS)

EMILY: Are you the man that works with Mr. Jonathan?

Yes, ma'am. Perry.

I'm Emily Dodson.

Charlie's mother.

Offer you a cigarette, Mrs. Dodson?

If you promise not to tell my husband.

Wouldn't dream of it.

EMILY: Thank you.

You were in the war, weren't you?

The way you hold your cigarette.

Hiding the ember in your palm.

I guess I'm still trained not to give them

something to shoot at.

Was your husband over there?

Brother.

I haven't seen him since we left Missouri.

I really wish they'd let me clean in here.

All this fingerprint dust...

Can't help feeling that it reflects poorly on me somehow.

Oh, I don't... I don't think poorly of you.

God does.

That's why I'm being punished.

Do you have children, Mr. Perry?

It's... It's Mason. Perry is my first name.

I have a son.

What's his name?

Theodore.

Teddy.

How old?

MASON: Nine in February.

EMILY: Charlie likes turtles.

Liked.

What's your boy fond of?

Firetrucks.

(GRIMACING) I bet

nine is a good age for a boy.

(SOBBING)

So.

I'm sorry.

(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING)

MASON: Yeah, fine, he's a hothead,

but he's a little too touchy if you ask me.

And her?

She was just sitting downstairs the whole time?

E.B.: She told the detectives she gave the boy a bath,

put him to bed, fell asleep by the fire

listening to the radio.

DELLA: Actually, she puts Charlie to bed,

goes downstairs to clean up the kitchen,

goes back upstairs to check on him

then goes downstairs and falls asleep

listening to the radio.

She doesn't twitch an eyelid

while someone creeps into her house

and nabs her kid?

- You think she's a drinker? - DELLA: No. She's a mother.

Feeding, changing, burping, screaming,

you wouldn't last a minute.

MASON: Is this something you know about?

DELLA: Call it an educated guess.

MASON: All right. You're the kidnapper,

you have to case that house long enough to know.

Matthew's hours at the grocery store,

the time Emily gives Charlie the bath,

then puts him down, then falls asleep herself,

unless you have someone on the inside.

Oh, so you agree with the police.

You think the Dodsons had something to do with it.

- I'm not agreeing with anyone. - I sure hope not.

I've stood with those two.

That's grief, not guilt.

MASON: I'm just pointing out that someone knew

they were good for a hundred grand.

How do you figure that from a guy

who sells pickled cucumbers and aftershave?

It's queer from both sides.

DELLA: And the baby.

Someone stood over Charlie and stitched those eyes.

Yeah, it's a dark tone,

long, long, deep, dark tone.

(SIGHS) Wipe it off, gentles.

We do what we're asked to do.

Well, that's easy for you to say.

Detectives aren't gonna like me over their shoulder on this.

And I got a license that could get pulled.

E.B.: So you don't want the job?

- MASON: Did I say that? - (E.B. LAUGHS)

Bring me a signature and a check.

Cheer up.

Someone might throw a shoe at you.

And you, get your hands off my liquor and yourself

down to the Angel's Flight in the morning.

Be my eyes, son.

Time and a half.

- It's New Year's Eve. - Earn it.

(LUPE PANTING)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

- (MOANING) - (BED SQUEAKING)

(MOANING INTENSIFIES)

- (LUPE YELPS) - (OBJECT CLANGS)

LUPE: Very good, papi.

(COW MOOS)

I think she's jealous of me.

(PANTING)

Did you bring some more of that tequila?

LUPE: It's called mescal.

And if you want some, you better get it yourself.

I ain't your fucking help.

(CHUCKLES)

Either take them off or put them back on, papi.

Make up your mind.

MASON: What are you in a rush for?

- LUPE: I need sleep. - Sleep here.

LUPE: I sleep in my own bed.

I'll give you 6,000 for this dump.

(LAUGHS) Six thousand and she won't even sleep here.

It's a fair price.

It's a price.

It's a great fucking price.

You don't even have citrus.

You know I'm working this one.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

It's a big case.

You don't usually do the bigs.

I'm doing this one.

Six thousand five hundred.

(LAUGHS)

Enjoy your bed.

LUPE: I will.

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MAN: And right there, in that very window,

sat the boy's parents.

Watching, hoping, tragically unaware

that their tiny innocent was already ascending to heaven

in the clutches of this demon.

This instrument of death.

Thank you, ma'am. Happy New Year, sir.

- (WHISTLE BLOWS) - (NEWSBOY HOLLERS)

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(GUN COCKS)

HOLCOMB: Looking for something?

Close the blinds, Steve.

Maybe I couldn't see him so good and shot him by accident.

Look, fellas, if I... interrupted

some sort of tender moment, I sincerely apologize.

Guy's a laugh riot.

Take it easy with that thing.

What the hell are you doing here, Mason?

You gotta know something stinks around Dodson

or else you wouldn't be here.

Get paid to look into things. That's what I'm doing.

Hell with this. We got him on a B&E.

Let's run him in, torch his license.

- Get the fuck off me! - HOLCOMB: Settle down!

Ease up, goddammit.

You got something says Dodson's clean,

you'll be doing him a favor by letting us know.

MAN: Tiny innocent was already ascending to heaven.

Right after the Dodsons found little Charlie dead,

a green Phaeton goes tearing up Hill Street,

clipped the trolley.

HOLCOMB: You think that's our kidnapper?

Where did you get this Phaeton shit?

Traffic cop working the bottom of the flight.

He didn't think anything of it at the time

because most cops are stupid.

Go check it out.

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(DOOR CLOSES)

Your ape almost broke my camera.

My ape would've broke your jaw.

- Here. - What's that?

- For the car thing. - (SCOFFS)

Save it for a better sketch artist.

Man in hat? That sure narrows it down.

What about the guy on the phone or the one in the car?

Halfway to Rio is my guess.

Is that why you like Dodson for it?

Got to arrest somebody.

So you tie him up in a bow and put yourself up for promotion.

- That's tidy. - Listen to you,

pissing on my five bucks because some sap thinks

you can play cop?

I already got the entire city standing on my neck.

So you enjoy the view while you're up here

with the real police because I'm gonna nail Dodson.

And when I do, you're back on the bottom,

feeding off runaways and cheaters.

Lock up when you leave.

(DOOR CLOSES)

MAN: Tragically unaware

their tiny innocent was already ascending to heaven.

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Mason here, any messages?

DIANE: Mr. Strickland called, read me

three paragraphs of something called Lipstick Girl,

I did not write them down.

Anything else?

DIANE: Just Walt LeBaron.

Hammersmith Pictures requests the honor of your presence

at his New Year's party.

Two tickets for you at the door, business to discuss.

All right. Thanks, Irma.

DIANE: Diane, goddammit.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

We got five minutes and you owe me four bucks.

You said two.

Two for him, two for me.

That's four.

Happy New Year.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

♪ ("IT DON'T MEAN A THING" BY ELLA FITZGERALD PLAYING) ♪

MALE SINGER: ♪ It makes no difference ♪

♪ If it's sweet Or hot, hot, hot ♪

♪ Just give that rhythm Everything you've got... ♪

What the fuck am I doing here?

You're getting paid.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

PETE: Looks like Groucho Marx.

Lovely ladies, kind gentlemen, welcome.

1931 was gangbusters for Hammersmith Pictures.

1932 is gonna be even better

because the brightest stars in the sky live right here,

- Mr. Dusty Rogers... - PETE: Oh, shit.

Hero of the prairies.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

PETE: Shorter than I thought.

They must use really small horses in the movies.

HAMMER: Ladies, how do you like the continental...

Hey... What are you gonna do with your 300?

I'm gonna get a new pair of shoes.

Maybe somewhat... Are you listening to me?

Mm-hmm.

I say something, then you say something,

that's how conversation works, Perry.

He's scaring the Jesus out of me right now.

Mr. Petre Lupu.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I don't think you're getting into the spirit of the thing.

I saw the kid, Pete.

The thread.

- You all right? - Yeah.

HAMMERSMITH: If you should be happening to be living

- next to Miss America. - Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

HAMMERSMITH: I call her the sweetest piece of strudel I've ever seen.

I'll be back.

But you're gonna call her Red, Miss Velma Fuller.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Oh, just a little, right there.

Oh, I'm sorry, Clara, I can't help myself.

Anyway, listen. Happy New Year...

No champagne tonight?

Just the cash, Walt.

- Can we do it this year? - (CHUCKLES)

Go see a Hammersmith Picture. Thank you all.

Okay, Mason.

Okay. Let's get you paid.

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

HAMMERSMITH: You know what we have here?

Plenty of nothing?

HAMMERSMITH: Ten thousand square foot of it.

Why? Because I'm waiting on a ten-million-dollar line

of credit from the Irving Trust.

I liked it better when we were bandits

on the land from the picture patents company.

Let's see what you got.

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

With people starving on breadlines.

The negatives?

They're somewhere safe.

Oh, okay.

HAMMERSMITH: Nice lighter. Here's the thing

we said 200.

Six hundred is fair,

because I can get that from the teller, easy.

Let me tell you how I see it.

People are desperate out there, Mason.

They're starving, scared, hopeless.

And for one little nickel, what do we give them?

The two hours in the dark,

singing, dancing,

laughter, tears, romance

hope.

And here you come on New Year's Eve

and what you wanna do

is take these poor suffering people's hope away

- for 400 measly bucks? - I can be flexible on the price.

It's not about the price.

It's the principle.

So

200 like we agreed

minus

199 for all the bullshit.

You need to think about your actions.

You need to decide what kind of person

you wanna be.

And the negatives

when you have a chance.

(GROANS)

(PANTING)

Fuck!

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

You get it? Did you get the 600?

- There. - The fuck is this, a dollar?

- I think I overplayed it. - Oh, no, Christ.

- No, no, no. - I'm sorry, Pete.

I got a family to feed.

(CHEERING)

And fuck you!

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Relax, he'll be here.

He got a hot date maybe?

BLACK HAT: Uh-oh. Touched a nerve.

I'm starting to think he doesn't like us.

PINKY RING: Why are you still wearing that hat?

Your picture's on every front page in town.

It's a fedora.

One and half million in Los Angeles.

It looks good on me.

None of this was part of the plan.

So jump off a pier and swim to Tahiti.

I'll take your share.

My share of what? A noose?

BLACK HAT: No one's getting strung out.

I should've run.

The second I saw Charlie done like that.

His eyes, Jesus.

I should've run.

We all should have.

But we didn't, did we, killer?

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Evening, gentlemen. Sorry I'm late.

Bunch of drunk Sambos blocking up the road singing and dancing.

Spooks were so fucking happy,

I didn't have the heart to crack any skulls.

Let's get this over with.

ENNIS: No Auld Lang Syne?

Okay.

What the fuck?

(GUNSHOTS)

(CHOKING)

They made the car.

(GUN CLICKS EMPTY)

(CHOKING)

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(DOOR CLOSES)

Fuck! Fuck!

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(FIREWORK SQUEALING)

(SCREAMS)

LINDA: Mailman said it's a stamp short,

wants me to pay for it. I said I'd love to pay for it

except my bum of an ex hasn't sent me money a month.

Yeah, it's been tight, you know?

I haven't... I don't know

why the fuck I am arguing with you about this,

just put him on the phone.

LINDA: He's already in bed.

Well, then, wake him up!

I'm his... I'm his father.

I get to talk to my son on New Year's Eve.

LINDA: That was already last year.

It's New Year's Day.

Put him on the fucking phone, Linda.

(SIGHS)

How long have you been standing there?

Long enough to see you make a jackass of yourself.

She hung up on me.

You never call the ex on New Year's Eve, papi.

Hello, operator?

Could I get, um, a long distance call?

City of Salinas, Axminster 7-7181.

What the hell happened to you?

All right. Well, I was just on that line,

it is... it is the number of a heartless woman,

but there is nothing wrong with her ears,

so keep it ringing.

You know, my second husband tracked me down to Caracas,

I had to pull my little .22 on him.

(CHUCKLES) They only shot the pendejo in...

Just a little longer, please?

Do you... Do you have kids, operator?

You have a heart?

No heart.

LUPE: Listen.

I'm flying straight to Oaxaca.

Knocking back some mescal,

chewing on chapulines by sunset next to someone dumb

and good-looking next to me, so.

I thought of you.

Love, romance, excitement?

Hmm.

All of... All of life's big thrills.

Maybe you can get cleaned up first.

Everybody's up to something.

Everybody's got an angle, hiding something.

And everybody is guilty.

(CHUCKLES)

They don't make these things so good.

Poor papi.

There is a black angel out there.

A big, big, black angel

with long fingers.

Oh, fuck.

♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

So you like turtles?

♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

PERRY MASON: The deck was stacked from the start.

Three guys, three stiffs. According to the cops,

- that's it. - That seem likely to you?

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Charlie Dodson, may this temple crumble if we fail you.

MASON: No one wants this case.

This one's really got its hooks in me.

♪ Wade in the water ♪

Someone under our roof, capable of such acts of evil,

- it has shaken our church. - It's shaken all of us.

E.B. JONATHAN: The district attorney

is eyeballing the mayor's seat.

We're gonna run him over like a streetcar.

MAYNARD BARNES: The perpetrators will be quickly put down.

Justice for Charlie Dodson!

♪ Wade in the water ♪

Mr. Mason's evidence is coming up short.

You're pulling this out of your ass, boy-o.

Oh, that I agree with.

The cops barely investigated the case.

- I'm the lawyer here! - Then act like one, goddammit!

This case is getting to you.

You're a detective, did I hear wrong, Mr. Mason?

You guys are breaking so many laws right now.

♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪

- This is over! - I'm not done yet!

MAN: The hell are you doing here?

Just looking for justice.

♪ God's gonna trouble The water ♪