Original subtitles

- Martin?

Oh it's me.

Yeah.

- Uncle Martin, I'm home!

Well that might've worked for King Kong,

but on you it looks pretty silly.

- Oh, Tim, Tim, I didn't hear you come in.

I was so absorbed.

Tim, I'm in a lot of trouble.

- What is it?

- I have a toothache.

You see?

Where'd I go?

I was just here.

Oh, there I am.

- What is it, what's the matter?

- Oh, it's you.

Tim.

- Uncle Martin, what is wrong with you?

- I've just told you, I have a toothache.

- But why can't you see?

Do you know where you're looking?

- Oh, I can see.

It's my sense of depth that's off.

Also, the images that are being projected by my retina,

they're out of whack.

You see Tim, in a Martian, the optic nerve

is tied in with the levitating nerve.

I'd illustrate, but I don't know what I'd be raising.

- From a toothache, you can't see?

- Of course, it's very simple.

It's the eye tooth.

(eerie music)

(beeping)

(mischievous music)

- Oh.

Oh, I'm afraid you're still out of whack.

How do you feel?

- The same.

There's no pain, but the retina images, I...

Well, they...

And my field of focus, it...

I'm all mixed up, Tim.

I need help.

- Well Uncle Martin, look.

Well maybe during my lunch hour I can stop by here

and I'll pick you up, I can take you downtown,

I'll take you right to a good oculist.

- Oculist?

Who needs an oculist?

I need a dentist.

Tim.

This is as good a time as any to talk to you

about something that has been bothering me.

Lately I've had the feeling that you've been

taking me for granted.

Treating me just like an earthling.

I'm not one of you, Tim.

I'm a Martian, with different reactions

and different responses.

I have problems that are unique to you people.

- Uncle Martin.

- Who's there?

- Uncle Martin, look, I'm really becoming

concerned about you.

Now, I think it's getting worse.

- It is getting worse, and it's gonna get worser.

- Worser?

- All those things you insisted I do last night.

Putting oil of cloves on my tooth, cold compresses,

and this ridiculous thing.

Charming little homemade remedies, Tim.

But Earth is not my home.

I repeat, I am a Martian.

I have an ache in my eye tooth.

Take me to your dentist!

- I'll take you to my dentist.

- Well please be quick about it, will you?

- Uncle Martin.

- Hmm?

- Are you sure you don't need an oculist?

- For a problem with my eye tooth?

Maybe you'd go to an oculist, but I go to a dentist.

And while you're downtown, I think it would be a good idea

for you to stop off and get yourself a haircut.

Unruly hair is the business of an unruly mind.

How'd a big green dog get in here?