Original subtitles

(whimsical classical music)

- Hi, Uncle Martin.

(laughter)

hey, toro, toro.

Ole.

(laughter)

(mystical instrumental music)

Now come on, Uncle Martin.

Will you cut that out?

Well that's more like it.

Now why did you turn invisible just to do the house work?

- Oh Tim, I didn't hear you come in.

- Uncle Martin.

- You're home early.

I didn't intend for you to see me like this.

- What happened?

You look like something from outer space.

I mean.

- Well that's alright, you don't

need to apologize.

If you must know, this is a youth pack.

- Youth pack?

- Now it's to take away the wrinkles.

My face is, collapsing.

- It is?

- I wasn't going to tell you,

but my hair is turning gray too,

I've been touching it up so, so you wouldn't notice.

- You've been dying your hair?

(laughs)

I thought that martians had no patience with vanity.

- Well it's not funny, Tim.

I'm getting desperate.

- Well, come on.

Now you have to expect to age a little.

I mean, after all, a man 450 years old.

- I wouldn't be falling apart if I was on Mars.

It's the gravity here that's doing it.

It's worse than your smog.

- Gravity?

- Yes, its what makes you Earthlings age

so much faster than Martians.

I'm getting stiff in the antenna too

and my energy is so depleted

that I can hardly get out of bed.

- Well that sounds pretty serious.

- Yeah, Tim I'm like a deep sea diver

who has sunk behind his depth.

I'm slowly being crushed by pressure.

- Well what can we do about it?

- Well my problem is how to degravitize myself.

Relieve this intolerable pressure and restore

my metabolism so I can once again resist

Earth's gravity.

- How do you do that?

- Well I haven't quite figured it out, yet

but I'm concentrating on the problem.

- How long do you have?

I mean.

- it's alright Tim, I know what you mean.

Two weeks, 10 days if I'm lucky.

- Uncle Martin, you've gotta concentrate harder.

- Well, I'll try.

- That's it.

Come on, Uncle Martin, harder, more, more.

(laughter)

(groans)

- Oh my aching antenna.

(laughter)

(mystical classical music)

(electronic beeping)

(upbeat classical music)

(playful suspenseful classical music)

(laughter)

Tim, would you please stop worrying

so I can get some sleep?

- Well I'm sorry, Uncle Martin,

I didn't realize my bare feet were making

so much noise.

- It wasn't your feet that woke me up,

it was your thinking.

- Oh well my mind just keeps turning over and over.

- Yeah, I know that.

That way, neither one of us can get any sleep.

- But Uncle Martin, you can't sleep.

You gotta stay awake and concentrate

on how to save yourself.

- How many times must I tell you,

we Martians solve our most difficult

problems only when we sleep.

- You didn't tell me that.

- I must have.

- Well I don't remember.

(laughter)

- We simply program the facts in continuity

and feed the problem into our brain,

much as you Earthlings wire a board

for one of your primitive digital computers.

We then go to sleep and let our brain

work out the problem.

- You do?

- Yeah, I almost had it

and then you woke me up.

- Oh I'm sorry, Uncle Martin.

Look go back to sleep.

Maybe you can pick up where you left off.

- Alright, well I'll try for your sake.

- For my sake?

Well gravity's not affecting me.

- No but the authorities might if I die.

- Don't say that.

What do you mean?

- Oh you know how it is.

Lot's people don't know you're alive

until you drop dead.

Then after you're gone, they can't wait

to find out all about you.

- Well, who for instance?

- Well the Bureau of Internal Revenue,

the State tax board and the City board of Health.

How could you expect them to believe

I was a victim of Earth's gravity?

- I couldn't.

Look, go back to sleep so you can get the answer.

- Alright, I'll try.

(soft playful classical music)

I've got it.

Plus nine to the 12th power minus X Pi square.

I can fabricate an equalizer.

- You can?

- But I'll need two of them, Tim.

The components are in the spaceships

miniaturized navigation analog computer.

You can help me tear it down.

- Tear it down?

But Uncle Martin, how will you get back to Mars?

- Tim, if I'm not degravitized soon, I won't

live long enough to make the trip.

Now come on.

Help me down to the garage.

(laughter)

(light classical music)

- All finished?

- Aright, Tim.

Strap em on me.

No, no, no it's gotta be around.

- Okay.

Here turn your wrist over, make it easier.

Okay, I sure hope these work, Uncle Martin.

- Don't worry, Tim.

They will.

You'll see.

- Turn over now, a little bit.

- Okay.

- There, do you feel any better?

- Not yet, the power hasn't been turned on.

You can turn the dials now.

Only to the first amper.

- Alright.

(wacky spring noises)

(mystical music)

Uncle Martin, what happened?

- Tim, do something.

Hurry Tim, hurry do something.

Turn me off, turn me off.

- I'm trying, I can't catch you.

- Please, Tim.

Hurry.

Tim, do it.

I made it.

(laughter)

- Is that the way it's supposed to work?

- no.

You made a mistake and--

- I made a mistake?

- Well in a way it was partly my fault.

I forgot to mention that these devices

are something like AC and DC.

- Oh, I guess we sort of short circuited you, huh?

- Something like this.

Unless each is worn on the proper wrist,

the polarity is reversed and,

well you know the rest.

If you'll just reverse these, they'll work alright.

- okay, they're all set.

Now what?

- Alright now same as before

but remember, only turn them to the first amper.

- Why?

- I just thought I'd spare you that messy detail.

- Messy?

- Tim, if I'm degravitized too quickly,

I'll explode all over the place.

(laughter)

- Yes, I guess that would be messy.

Are you sure you want to go through with this?

- I'll turn the dials myself this time.

If something should go wrong, I certainly

wouldn't want you to blame yourself.

You've been wonderful to me, Tim.

So just remember, I didn't have much time

left anyway.

(mystical whirring)

- But Uncle Martin.

- It works, it works.

The centrimpinal force is relieved.

I've been liberated.

(laughter)

(groaning)

- What a weird feeling.

- I never anticipated this would have an effect

on anyone but myself.

- How long do you have to use those things, Uncle Martin?

- Well I figured it will take about a week.

- A week?

- Well there'll be no problem, Tim.

I'll just turn myself of whenever

you're in the same room with me.

- Well how's it gonna be any good

if it's turned off?

- I can't

but I'll make up for lost time by increasing

the power when you're not around.

- Oh well that sounds reasonable.

Look, Uncle Martin, I gotta get dressed

or I'm gonna be late for work.

Now you're sure you're gonna be alright?

- Fine, Tim, you go right ahead.

(playful classical music)

(Tim screams)

- [Tim] Uncle Martin, I'm on the ceiling.

Turn that thing off.

(laughter)

- [Martin] I'm sorry, Tim.

I didn't think the power would penetrate that far.

- Maybe I better take a room at the Y

until you get back to normal?

- Rent a room at the Y, for what?

- To avoid getting my brains knocked out.

Now if I'm gonna hit the ceiling

every time you take one of those treatments.

- Oh you won't.

Now that I'm aware of the strength

of this device, I have decided only

to use it while you're away.

I mean, out of the apartment, I promise.

(groans)

(laughter)

(echoes) - Uncle Martin.

(laughter)

Uncle Martin.

- [Martin] We're in the bedroom, Tim.

- We?

(laughter)

(playful classical music)

Did you say we?

- Tim, one of us has got to go.

Look, look.

That's the reason I called you to come home.

- [Tim] That's Mrs. Brown's wisteria vine,

what's it doing in here?

- I'm not sure but I refuse to share the same room

with it, it's not safe.

- Not safe?

- Every time I tun on the power,

it comes a little closer.

I'm exhausted from turning myself

on and off all day long.

- Oh, well I'll just go out and get rid of it.

- Why are you wearing that thing?

- Well.

It's a deep sea diver's outfit.

- I know that but.

- Well I thought it might be a good idea

to wear around the house, you know,

then you can turn on full power and I won't

hit the ceiling.

- very ingenious of you, Tim.

I'm proud of you.

- Now let's try it and see how it works.

- Alright.

(whimsical mystical music)

(laughter)

there, you see what I mean?

I dozed off with the power turned on

and when I woke up, when I woke up

it was coming at me, just like that.

- Why, I don't understand what,

do that again.

(mystical whirring)

(laughter)

- Now do you believe me?

I woke up just in the knick of time.

Well that thing would of been in bed with me.

Tim, you've got to cut it down.

- I guess you're right, Uncle Martin.

I hate to think about what Mrs. Brown's gonna say, though.

You know how she feels about her plants.

(laughter)

(soft classical music)

Uncle Martin, quick turn yourself off.

Mrs. Brown's coming over with some soup.

(mystical whirring)

(laughter)

(energetic classical music)

Well the only way I could get Mrs. Brown

to forgive me for cutting down the vine

was to tell her that it made you sick.

- Yes well, I'm turning myself on and off so much

that it is making me sick.

(chuckles)

- Well why don't you taste your soup?

It's parsnip.

- Oh, no.

(laughter)

- Oh thank you.

Shame on you, Martin, for not letting me know

you hadn't been feeling well.

- It's just a touch of vinus.

- Vinus?

- Wisteria vinus.

- Oh yes.

Well you eat this soup, it will perk you up.

It's a real tonic.

Oh my, you do look peaked.

You should get more sun, Martin.

- I will, I will just as soon as I feel up to it.

- Why don't you sit outside tomorrow

and watch me work in my garden?

I'm gonna plant some sweet corn.

Won't that be fun?

(laughter)

Well I can see you're tired so I'll leave now.

Now if there's anything you need--

- [Tim] We'll call you.

- Oh alright, now you see that he eats his soup.

- Oh yes, I will.

Thank you very much.

Bye bye Mrs. Brown.

(whimsical classical music)

- Can I turn myself on now?

- No, no wait till I get into my safety belt.

(laughter)

- Will you hurry up?

- Ready whenever you are, Uncle Martin.

(laughter)

- I haven't done that since I was in ballet school.

(laughter)

- She got a jolt of it just as she hit the driveway.

- You know she's right about my needing the sun?

The (mumbles) benefits from ultra violet rays.

- Yeah, well you know as long as Mrs. Brown

thinks that you're sick, she's gonna be up here

every few hours trying to help?

(shushes)

- Let me think.

By altering the current variants

of the spheroidal wave function

from sigma third prime to the the finet of G minus

a differentiational of the FBA elliptic integrals.

Uh huh, I'll do it.

- What'll do what?

- I'm going to modify these so I can keep

myself turned on without affecting other people.

Then it will be safe for me to go out

and get some sun.

Bring my tools, Tim.

(heavy classical music)

(lighthearted classical music)

- Well I sure am glad you got those things fixed,

Uncle Martin.

- Yes, I imagine it's quite a relief

not to need that diving suit anymore.

- Well it's not so bad walking around,

you know, but wearing it to be.

Oh boy, last night it was murder.

I kept dreaming I was in traction.

- Remarkable.

I'm taking nearly 50% of the power

and you don't feel a thing.

- [Tim] Oh, are you increasing it?

- Reducing it.

I explained that I can only take a slight increase

at at time.

- Well how do you know when you've had too much?

- My ears start to buzz.

(laughter)

Would you care to take a stroll with me?

- No, no, no.

I have a brand new idea for a novel.

- Another one?

You haven't finished the last four your started.

- Well this will be different.

(lighthearted classical music)

(humming)

(upbeat jazz music)

- Oh hello, Martin.

Oh you just sit here and you zap up at sunshine

while I finish planting my sweet corn.

Oh how's Tim?

- Fine, fine he's upstairs writing another book.

- Oh I just love gardening.

If I had more space, I'd have a greenhouse.

Why I might even become an expert like Ezel.

- Like who?

- Ezel, he's my new gardener.

He's a senior student in agriculture at college

and he's an absolute magician with plants.

Oh Ezel, I want you to meet someone.

(upbeat jazz music)

Ezel, this is Mr. Martin O'Hara.

- Hi there.

(humming)

I couldn't of missed a patch that big.

- I was telling Mr. O'Hara about your studying,

what's its name?

- Agrobiology.

- Oh I can never remember that word.

- It's the science of plant growth and nutrition.

As applied to the improvement of crops

and the control of soil.

- Yeah, dad, that's it.

- Is that the required campus haircut

for agrobiologists?

- Oh it's not my hair.

This just keeps me from getting too much sun.

(laughter)

Maybe it's not working today.

(humming)

- Sweet boy.

- Mrs. Brown, might I trouble you

for a drink of water?

- How about a tall glass of fresh lemonade?

- Fine, fine, just fine, fine.

- In about four months, I'll be offering you

homegrown corn on the cob.

(mystical whirring)

(laughter)

- Mrs. Brown.

Mrs. Brown!

I don't believe it but there it is.

Look at it, just look at it.

- It's nice, isn't it?

- Nice?

She just planted that a few minutes ago.

- How did you ever do that, Ezel?

- How did I do it?

How did she do it?

- I planted it just like you told me to

when you gave me the seed.

Ezel, where are you going?

(laughter)

- Mrs. Brown, I wondered if you'd excuse me,

I've got to get back to the apartment.

(whimsical classical music)

- Isn't that wonderful?

(laughter)

- Page one.

Page one.

Page one.

- Tim.

Go out there and stop Mrs. Brown's gardener.

- Stop him?

- Yes, I read his mind.

He's gone to his truck

to get instruments to find out

why that corn grew so fast.

It's these things.

They turn seeds into full grown plants

in less than a minute.

- They did?

- Ezel has electronic detection gear

that can lead him right to the spaceship in the garage.

Need I explain more?

That college boy can ruin me.

- But how am I supposed to stop him?

- Detain him, interfere with him,

keep him away from the garage.

Just give me five minutes, Tim.

- well what are you gonna do?

- I'm gonna give myself the full charge.

I don't know whether I can take it or not

but there's nothing left to do.

Now look, just to be safe.

You stay away from the garage, okay?

- But Uncle Martin, I can't go down there

and do that, it's impossible. - Tim.

(mystical classical music)

- Alright.

- 172.

(laughter)

- How about that?

Instant corn on the cob.

Oh I'm gonna get my camera and take a picture of this.

(playful classical music)

(mystical whirring)

- You must be Ezel.

- Huh?

- You must be Ezel.

- Yeah, ah.

What are you, some kind of nut?

Stand aside, you're blocking science.

(playful classical music)

(mystical whirring)

(laughter)

- Ezel, what are you doing to my sweet corn?

- I'm trying to find out what made

it grow so fast, Mrs. D.

Oh.

Oh I'm getting a buzz.

There's metal in here some place.

- Oh my trowel, I wondered where I left it.

(mystical whirring)

- What on Earth is that?

- It's a very delicate detection instrument

that we use in the college lab.

Now we'll get to the bottom of this business.

(upbeat drum music)

- Oh, would you care to waltz Mrs. Brown?

(laughter)

- Will you quit fooling around?

I'm trying to solve a mystery here.

- Sorry, old boy.

(mystical whirring)

Let me help.

- There's something weird going on up there.

(laughter)

It's gone haywire.

Mrs. Brown, is there a HAM in the neighborhood?

- Yes, there's an actor who lives right down the street.

(laughter)

- I mean an amateur radio operator.

I think his singles are foaming up my detector.

- [Tim] Hello, Uncle Martin.

- I'm gonna get the professor, he'll help me solve this.

- wait Ezel, I have a theory about that corn.

- Like what?

- Now, you gave Mrs. Brown the seeds

which you got from the college

and you've been experimenting with atomic

radiated seed corn.

- That's secret, how did you know about it?

- I learned it from you.

Now I suggest that accidentally

you gave Mrs. Brown some of those atomic kernels

or again just by accident,

some of the kernels fell from your pocket

during your gardening chores.

- Well even so, they don't make instant plants.

- Well they might if they've been planted

in the proper environment.

- No, it's impossible, the only.

(laughter)

Look, it's happening again.

- Uh huh, yes it is and look here, right beside it.

A kernel that hasn't been planted, one of yours.

- That's one of them alright.

Man, I'm gonna upset the world.

I'm gonna make Luther Burbank look like a bush leaguer.

- Drumstick ear anyone?

(laughs)

- Ah, Tim I feel wonderful.

My resistance to gravity is completely restored.

We'll get along just fine now.

- Well that's just great

because rumor has it that gravity is here to stay.

(laughing)

What you do with the things?

- Dismantled them and reinstalled the components

in the spaceship and if all goes well,

I'll be returning to Mars in about three months.

Let's drink to that, Tim.

- Oh well, we're out of coffee.

- Oh well don't get up, don't get up.

I'll get it.

(cautious classical music)

- Oh now come on Uncle Martin,

cut the clowning.

- I'm sorry, Tim, but would you mind

getting those parts out of the spaceship for me?

Just once more?

- You mean, you're not really cured?

- Not quite.

The shock treatment didn't take.

A case of too much too quick.

- But you said--

- I said I'd be fine and I will.

I just need a few more hours, huh Tim?

- Are you sure?

- Absolutely positive.

I know exactly what to do and how to do it this time.

- Okay, well I'll get the parts.

- And Tim, don't forget my tools.

(laughter)

Oh oh my aching antenna.

(upbeat classical music)