Original subtitles

(thunder booms)

- Huh?

Lightning?

Storm?

Huh?

Tim.

(Tim moans)

- Just a minute, Brigitte.

(audience laughs)

(Tim moans)

- Tim.

Ay.

- I'm coming.

- Tim, Tim you must check that barometer downstairs.

I can't always expect to wake up when lightning flashes.

- Well, when the motor was working I thought.

Maybe it fell or something.

You know that sometimes

can throw it off of its readings.

- You know, as I've explained to you before,

if I'm to stay here on earth with you in this apartment,

I must have an accurate barometer

available to me at all times.

(scary music and thunder booms)

- Get ready.

- All right.

Easy, easy do it, easy, easy, easy.

What, no, no, no, no.

(Martin moans)

- There you are.

(audience laughs)

That'll hold you for a while.

- I hope so.

You remember what happened last time, don't you?

- Oh, yeah.

With you popping in and out

like a duck at a shooting gallery?

- Popsy we call it.

Being hit by lightning without being properly grounded

is not funny to a martian, Tim.

- Yeah, I know and then you start appearing

and disappearing with no control whatsoever.

- There are many things that can happen to me

in my jeopardy on earth

but the most distasteful of all,

is popsy, poping in and out,

never knowing if you're coming or going.

- Which reminds me.

I was having a wonderful dream

about Brigitte Bardot and the Beatles.

Now, maybe if I just hurry on back to sleep.

(peaceful music)

(thunder booms)

- That Tim is really a good boy.

I guess I should be more grateful to him.

After all, it isn't easy to learn to wire a martian.

I mean, if he didn't really put his mind to it,

it's so easy to make a mistake.

(audience laughs)

(beeping)

(spooky music)

(beeping)

(cheerful music)

- I did not make a mistake.

I've wired you many times

and even if I were half awake,

I told you I could do it in my sleep and I can.

- Then would you please tell me what went wrong?

- How can I tell you when you're not here.

Here, here, would you stay here?

- Do you think I like it?

I can't help myself.

My stomach feels like the inside of a loop-the-loop.

(audience laughs)

(spooky music)

There, you see?

I even disappear without my antennas up.

- Uncle Martin, I know I wired you correctly.

Now, of all the things that happen to you,

I know that popsy is one of the worst.

Believe me, I get just as shook up

and shaky watching you as you do,

doing what you're doing.

Which I know you don't do.

Do you?

- If you wired me correctly.

If you were really positive.

- [Tim] I am.

- Then I'm short circuited.

There must have been an overload in my system.

- What do we do now?

- Long circuit me.

- How do we do that?

- Hook me in circuit with a T.V. antenna.

Then we go to the toaster,

next we go to the coffee percolator

and then to the blender

but don't plug me into house current.

- Yeah?

- Here I am in the living room.

Next, we go through the three-way lamp.

Then we anchor down to the doorknob.

That's brass and if I hold on to it,

I can be ground round.

- Ground round?

- Ground round.

It's a term you people use to chop meat.

We martians use it for charged doorknobs.

I'll explain as we go along.

But first, get a long length of wire.

Well, just don't stand there, hurry.

And remember, we start with the T.V. antenna.

- The T.V. antenna, right.

(suspenseful music)

(audience laughs)

(suspenseful music)

(audience laughs)

(suspenseful music)

- Any leaks?

- Solid all the way.

- Right, the toaster should pop any moment now.

You stay with the wire and follow it

in case something goes wrong.

- This is gonna work?

- It's a form of chain reaction.

Your scientists have just stumbled into it.

With us martians, it's mere child's play.

Hurry now, the current should be coming along

any moment now through me.

- To the doorknob.

- Which is ground round.

(audience laughs)

(suspenseful music)

- Any second now.

- I'm ready.

- Come on, pop up.

(playful music)

(blender explodes)

Toaster, peculator, blender.

(horn music)

Here it come.

- Thare she blows.

(suspenseful music)

- Hello, what are you two yelling about?

And where's Martin?

- Oh, I don't know.

He was here.

He stepped out.

He wasn't here.

- Who were you yelling at?

Oh, it must have been the T.V.

- Oh, ah, the T.V., yes.

- I think you just blew a tube.

(audience laughs)

What's all that wire strung for?

Oh.

- Uh, current.

You see, I'm rewiring the house

and well, that's why the T.V. set went off.

I thought I'd save a little on our electric bill.

(audience laughs)

- Well, that's nice.

You know, I always get such a tingle

when I come up here to see you and Martin.

Oh, I wanted you to remember what you promised.

(audience laughs)

- Promised?

- Yes, my brother Stanley's bringing

my new stereo tonight.

I've told him so much about you

and he's dying to meet you.

Now, remember, you promised you would come.

- Skinny nails.

You know, we thought when we were rewiring the house,

we'd put in better nails fixed up a little.

- Oh, good, that's nice.

That's what I've been telling my brother Stanley about.

What marvelous tenants you both are.

He really is dying to meet you.

Now, I'll be heart sick if you break your promise

and don't show up.

(audience laughs)

All right?

(Tim chokes)

- Fine, right, whatever he says.

You say, we'll be there.

- Good, I knew you wouldn't let me down.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, well, thank you. - Yeah.

Have you gone mad?

Now it's gonna be popping in and out

while you push me right in front of Mrs Brown.

- I couldn't help popping in and out, you know that.

The mixed in tape, the ground round passed me.

- And the levitation.

- It was Mrs. Brown.

- Mrs. Brown?

- The charge passed me and went through to Mrs. Brown.

She had her hand on the doorknob

and instead of me being the end of the ride,

I became the conductor.

- You what?

Mrs. Brown?

- Has my levitating powers.

They passed through me into her.

- But how?

- I told you I was the conductor.

She got the transfer.

- You're making jokes, that's what you're doing.

You're making horrible jokes.

You're the conductor, she got the transfer

and I'm off my trolley.

- I would like to laugh but it's not funny.

Follow me.

- Okay, where'd you go?

- Will you stop being ridiculous?

We're going to peak in Mrs. Brown's window,

that's where we're going.

- Peak?

- Yes, peak, to see how much

levitating power she has and how bad it's getting.

Excuse me.

Come on.

(playful music)

(spooky music)

(audience laughs)

- Maybe it's gonna rain.

(audience laughs)

(playful music)

- You're right, she's got it.

- How bad?

- How can I tell?

She keeps pointing at her hair, it keeps straightening up.

So far she hasn't done much else.

- Well, she's not panicked, she doesn't realize

and that means she doesn't have it that bad, yet.

- It gets worse?

- Yes.

Take another peak and she if she has

a plastic hairbrush on the table.

(playful music)

(spooky music)

- Hello, peaking Tim.

I had the strangest thing happen in my hair.

Is there something I could do for you, Tim?

- Oh, no, I was just walking by

and I was wondering what time tonight?

- Oh, after dinner, round eight-ish.

- That'll be fine.

- I can't understand why my hair won't stay curled.

Maybe I'm nervous because Stanley is coming.

Oh, well, maybe that hairdryer'll do the trick.

- Yeah. (Tim laughs nervously)

(audience laughs)

- Did I hear her say hairdryer?

- Yes.

- Did she have a plastic hairbrush on the dresser?

- I think so.

- Good, then that's how I get back my levitating powers.

- How?

- Tim.

Tim, are you still there?

- Yes.

- Because I'm going under the dryer

and I won't be able to hear you

if you wanna talk to me.

- Oh, that's no problem.

I was just leaving.

- See you at eight-ish, you and Marty.

Bye.

- Who? (slap)

(audience laughs)

- Watch out. - Sorry.

- Tim.

Now listen quickly.

You go inside and get her to hold

a plastic brush with one hand.

Then you hold her other hand.

Then you put your left foot on the metal part

of the hairdryer, then you take your right foot

and put it up against an exposed wall socket.

- I what?

- Then you take your free hand

and put it out the window.

I'll take hold of it,

then I'll put my foot on that metal standpipe up there

and that's how I get my power back.

- I do what?

I put my foot where?

- It's very simple.

Just think of recreating the chain.

Get her to hold the plastic brush,

then you take her other hand,

the electric socket will be the drive.

- My, what a lovely watch.

- Oh, I though you were leaving

and I can't hear under this dryer.

- Oh, I was just admiring your watch.

- Tim, why, what's the matter with you?

Do you feel all right?

- I feel just fine, yes.

Well, you know I told you I was wiring my apartment?

- Yes.

- Well, you see I'm measuring the distance

between the hairdryer and the wall plug.

Now, based on the principle that the augers

on the same floor has to have a rat a fortis

and also assuming that you understand the comac,

well, then you must have a melden pen penching melton.

- Oh, yes.

- And you wouldn't want me to overload your circuit.

- Oh heavens, no.

But my brother Stanley's an audio engineer

and I'm sure he can help you.

And I don't understand why you keep doing this

and I can't hear a thing under this dryer.

(suspenseful music)

- Hi there.

Hi, I'm Stanley.

(playful music)

(audience laughs)

(playful music)

(audience laughs)

(suspenseful music)

Hi, I'm Stanley.

(playful music)

(audience laughs)

- Oh, Stanley.

- Hi, sis.

- Hi. (laughs)

- Have you seen my Uncle Martin?

He was standing right here.

- You mean Speedy.

I said hello, turned my back and he was gone.

- Well, don't just stand there, Stanley.

Come on in.

- I will, as long as he lets go of my hand.

- Oh, you hoo, Martin, this is my brother Stanley.

That's his Uncle Martin.

- And I'm Tim O'Hara.

- Hi, Speedy.

- Excuse me.

- I'll be right in, sis.

I'll get the stereo.

You'll love it.

- All right.

(playful music)

(audience laughs)

(playful music)

(audience laughs)

- There you are, Speedy.

(audience laughs)

(playful music)

He's sure in great shape.

He gets around like greased lightning.

(audience laughs)

(playful music)

- Greased lightning.

He was right.

If I had thought of it sooner,

I'd have my levitating powers back by now.

- All right, so he said greased lightning.

It's just a figure of speech.

He didn't mean anything by it.

- I don't care whether he meant anything about it or not.

He said greased lightning and he was right.

- What's in the glass?

- It a chemical holding powder.

It can be whipped up

from some of your simple home cleaning detergents.

It cuts grease.

- Huh?

- Holds me, counteracts the popsy.

Instead of slipping in and out like greased lightning

which caused it, I shall be permanently held in place.

I think I've just disappeared.

- You're real gone.

(audience laughs)

(spooky music)

- Ah.

Ah, no more popsy, Tim.

I'm here definitely, Tim.

Now we can go and visit Mrs. Brown

and her brother like I promised.

- Well, why didn't you do that before?

I mean, instead of, you know, all this long circuit stuff?

(spooky music)

- This isn't permanent, Tim.

As a matter of fact, it's only temporary.

And dangerous.

- Dangerous?

- Like putting a penny in a blown-up fusebox.

If you leave it in too long. (laughs evilly)

I still have to be long circuited.

Then I have to chain react my levitating powers

back from Mrs. Brown.

That's the main reason for going to visit with her.

- Okay, let's go.

Wait a minute.

Why am I going?

I don't even know what I'm supposed to do.

- Aha, good point, Tim.

I took this ring from our plumbing.

It's brass.

Now, I want you to put it on the right index finger

of Mrs. Brown, it will ground her.

- Her levitating finger?

- And I'll get Stanley to take apart

the stereo set he bought.

- Take it apart?

- Well, it has the transistors and condensers

that I need to complete my long circuit.

- But I don't understand.

- It'll be like shooting ducks in a barrel.

It will be very easy, Tim, believe me.

- Oh, ducks in a barrel, pennies in a fusebox.

But what am I supposed to do?

- Take the ring.

- Oh, on her right hand and on the right index finger

and as soon as she points, whoosh.

- I don't understand why that picture

keeps falling like that.

(audience laughs)

- Must be bent from being stuffed

in the closet all the time.

- Oh, don't say that, Stanley.

I didn't bring that picture out

just because you're here tonight.

It's been out all along, hasn't it, Tim?

- Oh, yes, yes, it's been standing there all the time.

That's a lovely shade of fingernail polish

you have, Mrs. Brown.

- Oh, thanks.

(audience laughs)

Would anyone like some after-dinner mints?

If you would they're right here.

(audience laughs)

- Love one. (laughs)

Mhm, they're delicious.

Maybe Stanley would like one.

Would you?

- No, thank you.

- I thought you would.

Tim.

- Oh.

- Oh, won't you sit down, Martin.

- Oh, well.

- You know, during dinner tonight I kept dropping things

and I wasn't even near them.

- Why don't you turn on the stereo?

I'd like to hear how your set sounds.

- Oh?

Hear it.

It is beautiful, isn't it?

Has matched tweeters and woofers as well as mid-range.

- Oh.

- They seem quite serious.

- Who?

Oh.

Oh, oh, yes, well, you know,

they're just friendly neighbors.

We all are.

Just one big happy family.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, Stanley, will you play the machine?

Now that we have it all hooked up,

I'd love to hear it.

- I'll turn on the preamp

and show you how pretty it warms up.

If they're really serious,

I'll wire a whole house for them.

No matter what.

- Oh, you've got them all wrong.

That's not what it looks like.

- Oh no?

Well it better be.

That's my baby sister.

(audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin, why don't you go over and watch Stanley.

He has the preamp on.

(audience laughs)

I'll take Mrs. Brown into the kitchen.

I, I have the ring.

- A ring in the kitchen?

- Well, yes, it's an old family ring

and I'd like you to look at it.

The light's much better in the kitchen.

- Oh, yes, oh, yes, yes,

it's a very lovely heirloom

and you know much more about these things than we do.

- Oh, I do? - Of course you do.

Now, this belonged to my grandmother.

- That's quite a machine.

I'm a hi-fi fan, you know.

- Kid sent you over.

I mean it.

I saw you holding hands with my baby sister.

If you're really serious about her,

I'll wire a whole new house for you.

(audience laughs)

- What's this?

- What'd you do that for?

That a 787310 and I had it all balanced in and.

Look, you wanna talk about her dowry?

- Not.

- Now, let's just see what it looks like on you.

- Oh, no, no, not that finger.

It's too small.

(spooky music)

This finger.

- Oh, yes, well.

- Ow, you mean to see I told you it's too small.

I think it's stuck.

- Oh, really?

Yeah, well, let's see what it looks like into the light.

Oh, oh, it's lovely.

- What are you doing?

- And what's this?

- What are you, some kind of a nut?

Why do you want to take my stereo apart?

I just put it together.

- No, I just wondered what this was.

- I don't care if it's stuck.

You can keep it.

- Oh, Tim. - Oh, Tim.

- Oh, Stanley, look at the ring Tim just gave me.

- Tim gave you?

- Yes, it's old-world brass.

It's from my grandmother's time.

- He gave?

But I thought you?

He must be a lot older than he looks.

(audience laughs)

And you must be a lot younger.

- Stanley, what happened to my new stereo?

- Oh, I'm afraid I did this.

I'll fix it right away.

Here, now you hold this.

- Sis, I want to talk to you about him.

Because if you're thinking seriously about.

(dramatic music)

(audience laughs)

Hey, don't do that.

(spooky music)

- What, what was? - That?

- Earthquake.

- [Mrs. Brown And Stanley] Earthquake?

- It was in the papers tonight.

Light tremors expected in this vicinity.

- Sis, can I see you alone for a minute in the kitchen?

- Okay?

Is everything okay?

(spooky music)

(audience laughs)

- Good as new.

And I've learnt something earthian, Tim.

Like you people, I really don't appreciate

what I have until I lose it.

(spooky music)

- Well, I'm glad you're so happy

but what about them?

- Nothing.

- Nothing?

- Stanley's inside scrubbing her finger with soap

trying to get the ring off, and at the same time,

trying to convince her to get us off her property

or at least not be friendly with us.

- What'd she say?

- No.

- What are you doing?

Lower those things.

- You forget, Tim that getting my levitating powers back

is only the first part.

I'm still in a temporary penny in my fusebox.

I'm existing on cleaning detergents.

And I still have to cure my popsy.

- You're going to leave me here?

- You will make apologies for me.

- Oh, hi, there you are.

Martin had to leave.

He had a splitting headache.

(spooky music)

Earthquake, it must have sprung the door jam

but let's not worry about that.

Well, how're you doing, Stanley?

I mean, I've really been looking forward

to meeting you and tell me all about yourself.

(audience laughs)

All clear.

- I'm ready.

- You know, I really shouldn't help you.

- Why?

- Well, after leaving me with Mrs. Brown and her brother.

- Well, now, being a little uncomfortable socially

is not the same as,

he who levitates and runs away,

lives to levitate another day.

Now, get going.

That toaster's going to pop at any second now.

- But just what would happen to you, Uncle Martin,

if.

- Don't ask.

I smell something burning.

- Oh, oh, toaster.

- No, no, I think it's me.

- Come on, come on.

(dramatic music)

It's gone.

- Ready and waiting.

- Hello, anybody home?

Your front door was locked,

so I thought I'd try the backdoor.

(audience laughs)

Oh, still working on the rewiring?

- Oh, yes, oh, we almost have it.

- Done.

- I just came up to bring you back this ring.

It really is an antique.

My brother Stanley told me it came

from an old plumbing fixture.

- No?

Well, you know, perhaps when were rewiring the sink, we.

- Mrs. Brown, I'm terribly sorry

that I wasn't better company for your brother.

- Oh, well, that's all right.

Actually, it does.

(crashing)

(audience laughs)

- What?

- Residue.

A half hour.

- A half hour?

- Mrs. Brown, would you like to watch a little T.V. with me?

- Now?

- The late, late, late show.

- Oh.

- Turn on the T.V., Tim.

(cheerful music)

- I think I'll take a little walk.

- But Tim, it's one of your favorite programs.

(audience laughs)

- At least you could let me sit down.

(audience laughs)

(cheerful music)