Original subtitles

[Music]

i Cynthia I mean Joanie this is Tim no I

wasn't thinking another girl well

Cynthia I don't even know what Joanie I

mean I mean Joanie I don't even

Joanie Joanie hello

oh I don't know what's the matter with

me today oh yeah I assume to have sent

thee on the brain typical oh I suppose

you never have a lapse of memory of

course not the Martian memory is orderly

and efficient your mind is like mrs.

Brown's attic what do you mean it's

cluttered with all kinds of useless odds

and then the discontinued phone numbers

of the last three places you've lived

the sixth highest mountains in the world

who won the World Series in 1952 your

memory is so crowded with stuff you

don't need you can't remember what you

want to know on Mars they have a better

way naturally watch well what's that I

don't remember seeing that before a

quantity onic memory transducer table

model five a Martian keeps in his head

only those memories he wants the rest

are recorded and filed away oh well once

you recorded them can you get those

memories back again

of course well I wouldn't mind filing

Cynthia way I just temporarily of course

why concentrator another matters like

Joanie

nothing to it observe well not just a

second of them work no you sure this

thing is going to work I mean you know I

have a an earth brain no problem

we just adjusted to your capacity IQ low

imagination feeble concentration nil

just a minute

by Martian standards that's all now

before we clear Cynthia out of your

memory we enter her name on this little

index so you can bring her back when you

want number a 1 102 74 Tim's memory of

Cynthia ready queue no no tip this

machine works like a cream separator

whatever is on the top of your brain it

skims off you've got to bring Cynthia to

the top part it him much hard make sure

her in all her smoldering beauty keep

saying India bring her to the top

Cynthia

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him

who's Cynthia but I I think your machine

just laid an egg uncle Martin no Tim

this is your memory of Cynthia number a

1 100 274 warm vibrant vital the tones

of her voice the fire in her eyes and

reliant every curve they're all here

this is Cynthia

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[Applause]

boy if you didn't tell me I once knew a

girl named Cynthia she's out of your

mind but she's on that pill every detail

of your memory of Cynthia is engraved on

the molecules of this tiny silicon waver

it's amazing but suppose I want her back

simple you just swallow this the silicon

molecules will bring her back so vividly

you'll be programmed into acting as if

she were right here boy

this is just what I need why Cynthia

safely filed away and well Joanie said

of a lost cause for today so I can sort

of file her away and then I can oh I can

remember nothing but surely and then I

can put Shirley away then I can win it

concentrate on Margie and then maybe I

can have a little touch of Cynthia on

the weekend oh no no no Tim this machine

represents five thousand years of

Martian progress it wasn't built to make

a play boys life easy that's why I took

it away from King Solomon all right all

right I'll use it for more serious

things I can use it in my work uh

prefer researcher why would why with a

memory machine like that I I could I

could get the putative prize sorry Tim

neither you know the human race so ready

for these things maybe in another

thousand years a lot of good it'll do me

then well I'll see you later I'm off to

the supermarket don't we got the

shopping list mm-hmm right on this pill

I'll swallow it when I get there

Oh

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well card I I didn't mean to call you

Joanie we just popped out by accident

yes yes you're from run you're right

Joanie does seem to be in my mind but

that's only because Sharon Sharon

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last chance

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Cheryl Davis Cheryl Dias

it's my last chance no now remember it's

not Joanie sure Cheryl

hi Joanie I'll bring her to the top and

get rid of her Joanie Joanie Joanie

[Music]

hello mark

hello Martin

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may I help you sir

take some of these groceries well you

must be from the grocery store I didn't

order any but maybe mrs. Brown

understand they're making jokes just do

it myself

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who are you

quit clownin Tim a little harmless

Martian levitation be sure sweat of the

brow earth approach anytime Marsha know

there can't be any Martians happy oh so

that's it now Ken this could be serious

listen to me I can't be any Martians but

can't be merely an invisible force field

barrier to keep you in you you are a

Martian correct Kim what are you gonna

do with me Tim relax I know your name

right and I know you correct now you'll

have to take my word for this you know

me Tim we're old friends you're a

Martian but a friendly Marshall good and

kind we can't help it ah heredity is

programmed that way so you must believe

me when I tell you I have been like an

uncle to you know yes in fact you call

me uncle Martin come on now say it

uncle Martin Martin now your uncle is

going to give you this little pill and

your memory of me will come right back

you know you'll be a Martian Jill if

this is an invasion you're not gonna get

me to turn against my own people because

I'm an earth man you hear that I'm an

earth man operator operator

all right sorry Kim

I can't afford to let you notify the

authorities we're busy mrs. Brown no not

no not a lot

I found this peculiar looking bug on my

cup of gold vine he's a marshal mr.

Brown he's a marshal oh don't be silly

to him he is green with long silky

feelers not a marsh no I mean him he's a

version they planted as an invasion is

he sick

Claudia call the police don't talk to

your uncle Martin she's not my uncle

Martin how could he be I don't even have

an uncle Martin happened he's reading

don't be alarmed mrs. Brown a little

bump on the head he ran into the

cupboard or it sometimes produces

temporary amnesia along with

hallucination oh my it must have been a

nasty blow oh good one how can you stand

there Channing doesn't every human

instinct tell you that he is not a man

mm-hmm

why just the opposite all he needs is a

little rest I'll look after him and this

little fellers in the summer opera I'll

see you later mrs. Brown don't leave

he's a marshal oh I think I better call

a doctor Tim needs help

yeah call a doctor talk to doctors and

tell him to come armed with weapons

[Music]

you're making things worse Tim now I'll

just have to wipe all of that out of her

mind

Oh Paul you're going I mean goodbye

nice on him oh don't try to escape force

fields you know

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[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

where is he is there any way you can

reach him

well would you ask dr. Nichols to please

visit mr. Tim O'Hara right away it's

very important thank you Oh Martin I am

so worried about Tim Tims all right mrs.

Brown

just relax I hope so oh what's that some

new kind of stereo more or less will

help you forget your trouble oh you're

so thoughtful but shouldn't you be with

Tim that's right

think about Tim concentrate on Tim

that's all I can think of and that's

funny little deal he calls emotion

no no no mrs. Brown concentrate on Tim

not beetles Huck beetle I don't remember

any beetle I know let's try again

now think about Tim that's all I can

think of and what are we sitting here

talking about when Kim is sick I've got

to help him

poor him where was I going I don't

remember

not in that silly he was about somebody

he is named again with a would it have

anything to do with my nephew Tim oh do

you have a nephew Margaret you'll meet

him someday

goodbye now

[Music]

I'm dr. Nichols is mrs. Brown here oh

hello Doctor how are you I'm fine

my office called me on my car phone and

said it was urgent well there must be

some mistake doctor mistake but you said

that a mr. Tim O'Hara was very sick I

don't know what Tim O'Hara mr. Martin

O'Hara lives over my garage well I hope

all your little transistors are in good

shape we've got a big afternoon

[Music]

all right dr. mrs. Brown and here head

on the floor call yourself mrs. Brown

it's only my nephew Kevin climbing up

from the garage oh so there is a Tim

O'Hara he kept him hidden in the garage

Oh what some people won't do to avoid

paying rent really Martin I'm surprised

oh well thank you got here now just a

minute young man are you Tim O'Hara well

of course I am just ask mr. Brown he's a

complete stranger to me my nephew I

never saw that man before in my life he

is a Martian a Martian now wait a minute

wait a minute let's get this straight

you don't know him he doesn't know you

and you you have any aspirin

let me explain my nephew ran into a

cupboard door and lost his memory mrs.

Brown was checking on that same cover

door and unfortunately suffered the same

accident a partial loss memory don't let

him trick you doctor he is a Martian I

am there's a spaceship right down there

hmm

a spaceship and tell me when did you hit

your head on the cupboard door all right

all right don't believe me take a look

for yourself

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I don't see a thing

there's nothing in the garage huh

there's gotta be I think I just saw it I

cut this hole on the floor and then down

there was this great big thing what is

down there in him he he did something

yeah he tricked you he he may have

disappeared

down there where there was this there

was a thing was about Mac it had a key

well oh sure

well there are the driveway a flying

saucer

[Music]

well you see it's a flying saucer young

man that is my car and with the traffic

situation the way it is today I only

wish it were a flying saucer

I just wanted to sit down with you what

why me I'm fine that's all right son you

need a specialist in mental disorders oh

that's right but before we can get to

the one I'm going to give you a mild

tranquilizer to calm you down it'll make

you relax mr. Brown would you give me a

glass of water please yes faster that's

easy some we're on your side

you're my side do something about he'll

[Music]

become my column becomes on that can I'm

only taking your post you're pretty

excited to get your memory back yeah

well I'm cutting out here why does every

45 days violent then we're all your

friends well then who needs a me trying

to help you shocking what a blow on the

head will do it's a good thing you sent

for me mrs. Brown I already told you I

didn't call you nobody called you then

mrs. Brown you're a trifle overwrought

yourself better take one of those

tranquilizers they're quite harmless No

[Music]

[Applause]

they ship back 703 calling Red Planet

assemble recalling Red Planet commence

landing cycle according to computer

instructions introversion second she

swallowed a 1 1 o 2 7 3 3 thanks FX 1003

calling the red planet spaceship and

reflect back I'll say she was making a

pretty darn good approach landing on

Mars carrier she's caught from your

nephew

well another tranquilizer will put her

right but don't touch those pills oh

please mr. O'Hara don't you lose control

- these are perfectly innocuous

tranquilizers in fact right now I could

use one myself

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

there goes a 1 1 / 2 7 2 703 entering

flight path

touchdown imminent experiencing severe

weightlessness gravity almost completely

gone I am getting out of here come on

Tim wait I need to know now Let Go me

I've had enough of this Martian nonsense

I'm gonna find someone who believes me

alright wise guy where'd you go what are

you trying to pull now learning going on

here remember the memory machine the

silicon wafers uh-huh you cleared

yourself and I've just managed to bring

you back to normal business Brown and

the doctor swallowed two of my pills and

think they're in orbit around Mars well

then we've got to clear them precisely

you aim the cone I'll renew them into

range right this is ground control

calling spaceship X 703 come here next

703 X 703 requesting permission to land

on Mars change of orders X 703 Emergency

pickup of stranded scientist do you

scandal me I clear it set the route

indicator at gamma bearing one seven six

point five the Lassa t 8700 mo glugs

cover uttering open escape hatch dr.

Nichols follow subprogram to w53

and leave your asteroid interspace

vehicle speed on course prepare to orbit

Kim I skinned oh you out over forget the

skin link fire

[Music]

mr. get the doctor I'll get him

watch aerobic eating the mechanism

[Music]

putting a force field so that mrs. Brown

and that doctor can escape don't panic

Martin remember you're a Martian Kim I

feel strange just like just like I

forgot something important

I'll go Martin you got hit by the Rays

of the brain clearing machine brain

clearing machine Coleen Mars

Jim we showed up with a bunch of Martian

well you know Martian yourself what are

you talking about I'm your uncle Oh

shake well your turn who are you uncle

Martin a friendly Martian thanks Jim

watch out watch I was going to blow up

run

[Music]

it blew up yeah and if we're lucky due

to the explosion it sprayed them both

with enough rays that they'll be back to

normal you sure that's the way it should

work out logically Tim you go look on

the mark mmm

[Music]

oh thank you doctor you know that

tranquilizer calmed me right down yes

they are quite effective

I feel better myself then that takes

care of everything

not quite I've got to give mrs. Brown

back a memory of you we've got to

rebuild my machine recover all the

silicon wafers fix the hole in the floor

and give you back your recollections of

Cynthia and Joanie we've got our work

cut out for us yeah how'd we get into

this mess huh we decided to use a

labor-saving device Oh yep can happen to

Martians as well as earthlings let's go

and pick up the piece everybody seems to

be back to normal doctor thanks to your

tranquilizers yes they're an excellent

remedy well goodbye goodbye what are you

doing just taking another tranquilizers

the doctor said they were harmless so

much sugar rocketing into outer space

again how quick can you pick some

machine Tim Tim look it really was a

tranquilizer

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[Applause]

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