Original subtitles

Fansubbed 4 Cinemageddon by BaseGBG

The intergalactic war had been raging for ten years

Emperor Zing used his doomsday weapon to control the galaxy.

Planet after planet surrendered.

There was almost no hope.

The remnants of the once so mighty galactic army -

-gathered for a final attack.

Destiny depended on one man.

The man, the myth, the legend.

Chill out, boy.

I�ll heat things up.

It�s time to kiss that Wurlitzer goodbye, Mr. Zing.

You got the point?

The mission was not over with the fall of emperor Zing.

The green crystal, a mighty energy source-

-must be destroyed.

Touching it meant mortal danger.

The Galactic Heroes sent it into the black hole-

-so that it would be lost forever.

What is a black hole?

Where do things go?

Kenny?

-What did you say? -What is a black hole?

-"Welcome to Memorymatic..." -You are not allowed to use that.

You should know this yourself. And you probably forget to charge it.

No I didn�t.

Yes, I have forgotten it.

Kenny, why are you here at the academy, year after year?

I would like to ask you that.

What do you mean?

That, uh...

I mean that the one... Like Lenny once...

... down the trash can, I mean. "I will scare the janitor."

Listen carefully. A black hole is a kind of trash can.

Or a kind of waste disposal.

Or a kind of space toilet if you like.

Everything flushed down a black hole disappear forever.

General Sudoko. A hot tip for everyone: imagine a toilet in space.

Space toilet, ordinary toilet. Black hole, brown hole.

Sporty, clever and beautiful.

Pontus, come here.

About last weeks parent-teacher meeting...

Tell your parents-

-we don�t want any former circus artists running around-

-making a fool of themselves. It�s embarrassing. You get that, right?

-Yes, yes... -Thank you. Nodding is enough.

This is not a conversation between two equal persons.

Keep a low profile appropriate for a social misfit like you.

I promise.

Pontus?

-Straighten up. -Ok.

"Hello Miranda. My name is Pontus."

"And I like rounders."

"Imagine that the rings around Saturn consists of"...

-What are you looking at? -Nothing.

I am practicing for a presen�

Stop it. Let me go.

I suggest that you stay away from Miranda.

It would be bad if we were enemies.

Hello?

Hello!

What are they doing in this school?

I have to release him.

Moments with ClownIce are moments to remember.

-Hello. Ice cream as usual? -What�s on the menu?

You can get ClownIce on a stick or not.

Wow, that�s a tough one. I will have... uh...

-Think about it and I will get some. -I will think about it.

We use the purest ice from the depth of the ice planet.

ClownIce ice cream. A tasteless experience.

Look! It�s a commercial for the ice cream I�ve got here. That�s d�j�-vu, right?

No, it�s not d�j�-vu.

We interrupt for a message from Rutger Oversmart.

Galaxy friends. I promise to straighten up the economy of the universe-

-just like I have made ClownIce the most profitable company in the galaxy.

He makes the ice cream I have here!

That is why you can feel secure with me as your leader.

-That�s d�j�-vu, right? -No, Kenny. It is not.

Quality of life is my motto.

-What happened this time? -What happened? He is stuck.

-Any witnesses? -No, no one saw or heard anything.

I guess it�s possible he stuck his own head in the toilet.

What are you whining about?

It must be nice to pass through the hallway without the limping for once.

Be quiet!

This is not a kindergarten.

Go on.

This exercise will teach you the basics of space flight.

To the far right you have the speedometer.

The stick to your left is the throttle. In the middle is the control stick.

Put your right hand on the control stick and your left hand on the throttle.

Six! Six! One can go drifting with these.

All sticks and levers are mockups and does not work-

-except the red lever here.

Do NOT touch it.

It says something here. "...touch"...

"...touch"... "Drifting", that�s what it says.

It is very important-

-to keep your distance to avoid collisions.

-Ischlo pischlo! -But...

But...

Try to swim like a dog.

Like a dog. Bow-wow.

-Bow-wow. Bow-wow. -No more help, please.

This is where we produce more than one million ice creams every week.

Rutger Oversmart, the company founder said:

"Everyone who wants ice cream should be able to buy our ice cream."

Let�s go to the ice crusher.

Rutger!

Excuse me. I�m sorry to bother you.

I want to talk about two things. Krister is retiring this Friday.

I think we all can chip in for a cuckoo clock.

-Do you want me to die? Do you? -No.

I know you are looking for emperor Zings crystal so that you can get a healthy body-

-run for presidency and rule the galaxy.

But it feels like the spirit of our community is not a priority.

If you want to remain a part of this community-

-you better have something more interesting to tell me!

We have found a concrete structure in sector 24.

It may be Zings old bunker.

Wollie bollie.

I won these golden scissors in a cutting contest. Top of the line.

-Is it Lenny the hairdresser? -Is it Kenny the student?

-Yeah, but you. -Yeah, but you.

Can you cut my nails? And a paper into two or three pieces?

Can I borrow your Hairminator?

Oh, that�s right. You haven�t got one. You have not graduated yet.

Do you comb hair top to bottom, or bottom to top?

Bottom to top.

Ischlo pischlo!

-Ischlo pischlo. Can you do this? -Yes.

Can you do this?

Can you do this?

-Mom, Kenny is eating the shampoo. -No I�m not.

Mom!

Kenny, my little friend.

-I need to borrow more money. -No more. You will have to be a hairdresser.

-Exactly, I need to be a galactic hero. -I know. What did you say?

-What? -What?

-I know. You can be a hairdresser. -Exactly. I need to be a galactic hero.

-What? -No more money. It�s over.

-You can be a hairdresser. -Ischlo pischlo.

-Come on! -We will get you!

Pontus.

Pontus.

Come out and play.

Pontus, come out and play.

Come here. This way.

Well, here is no crystal.

Poor Rutger, looking for so long.

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

A light is lit here. Shall I press the button?

Shall I press the button?

The crystal is fitted with a tracking device.

It can be traced no matter where it is.

-What the hell are you doing?! -I pressed the button.

It is on the planet Earth.

Form an expedition and get the crystal at once.

Pontus, me and dad is going to perform magic on a trailer convention in Bulgaria.

If the food is gone you can find apples in the neighbors� yard.

-And don�t trash anything. Bye! -Ok.

It�s time for your final exams.

4000 points to be Captain. 2000 points to be Sergeant.

Minimum to pass graduation is 1000 points.

These are your missions: Save the universe 8000p Capture super villain 4000p Ticket speeders 50p

You have 48 hours. Wollie bollie.

Wollie bollie! Listen, something came up...

How many speeders do I have to ticket to not be a hairdresser?

You can try to divide 1000 by 50.

If you can�t do that... then you are not hero material.

Oh, thanks. He said I am a hero.

Waiting out here...

That�s really fast.

It�s a Galactic Hero. Go, Andreas.

-You were going a bit fast there. -No, it wasn�t me.

Show me your flying certificate and the important papers in the glove box.

Andreas, we have to get away. Go!

*Wanted*

I don�t have to be a hairdresser.

Guess what? You are really wanted.

No, not the black hole.

Not good. Not good.

Hi, Miranda. My name is Pontus. You are good at rounders, so am I.

Let�s play some rounders some day.

It seems like you didn�t understand me before.

I told you to stay away from...

Hello, Miranda. I�m Pontus. How about playing rounders some day?

We can do whatever you want to.

Oops.

Pontus!

Do you have to make my life a living hell every day?

You limp around looking miserable. Do you have to destroy things too?

Mommy!

Gary? Gary, my baby boy.

Gary?

I�m sorry.

Welcome to Magma Tech Sweden.

You will see the first "Magma"-drill-

-the future source for all energy needs.

Many people think this is the site for secret military projects-

-but that is nothing more than rumors spread by people with vivid imagination.

-Who are you? -What?

Wollie bollie. Kenny Starfighter. Galactic Hero-student.

Well, now it looks more like hairdresser. I think. Maybe.

-What have you done to my room? -It was Sudoko.

He told me there was nothing in the black hole. But that wall was there.

-By the way, where am I? -Harebell road number 6.

-What? -Harebell road number 6.

-That means nothing to me. -In Forserum.

-The planet Forserum? -No, we live on the planet Earth.

-Memorymatic, information about planet Earth. -Low power. Please charge battery.

-No, I will not charge it. Tell me. -Please charge battery.

Don�t get one of these boxes. It only says "charge battery".

-Maybe you should charge it then. -Don�t you start too. Charge, charge.

I refuse to charge it while everyone is telling me to. MAYBE when no one tells me.

-Are you from another planet? -I am from the planet Mylta.

Traveled through the black hole. Can you help me put my spaceship together?

-Did everything go as planned? -It was a bumpy atmosphere entry.

But it seems like a pleasant planet.

They had miniature golf, cows, power plants and horses.

Perhaps you don�t care about the journey.

-Is something wrong? -The crystal has no power.

It is empty. I was looking forward to a new magnificent body-

-be able to do things myself. Without incompetent helpers!

Is it just your looks and you body that stops you from achieving your goals?

Actually, you can be rather grumpy and even unpleasant.

Yes, you are right.

I will have to solve my physical shortcomings some other way.

Thank you for trying. Many thanks.

It�s unusual for you to be so nice. I�m glad.

Not at all. I am very pleased with you.

Can you go to ice crusher 2? There is something wrong with it.

Please crawl inside to see what�s wrong.

Will do.

I�m sure it�s a switch. Or a fuse.

Magma Tech Sweden has the energy you need for your invention.

Good. One more thing...

Get me the toughest and most dangerous super villains-

-in the entire galaxy for a job interview

With huge honor!

My apologies. I mean... will do.

My parents wants me to be a hairdresser if I don�t graduate.

-That�s tough on me, right? -Yes.

-Do you have rotten parents? -We don�t talk much. They fight a lot.

-What? -They fight a lot.

-Where is this supposed to be? -On the side.

-I found something yesterday. -I know.

Do you? It was like a pod with a glowing thing in it.

Yes.

Do you know someone who knows about spaceships? Or someone smart?

Is that all you can do?

-Knock over a mango? -Yepp.

-Don�t call us. -We�ll call you.

Next!

Captain Chaos!

That�s right. I make my victims go mad. Let me demonstrate.

-No -But wait.

Look at that. It was only a mirage.

Luckily I didn�t produce three, four, up to 50 different plants.

-The confusion would make me faint. -Thank you, that�s enough.

But that is only one example. Imagine soap dispensers, toilet brushes.

Endless possibilities. Make a deal today and you�ll get a juicer for free.

Ouch! Totally uncalled for. Hit a man with glasses. How mature.

The Bounty hunters Association presents :

Earth, Wind and Fire!

You�re hired.

This little boy from Earth has taken something of mine.

You have every right to use any violence necessary-

-but you must bring him to me alive.

I will see you downstairs.

-Do you know anyone smart? -Yes, this one girl: Miranda.

She�s smarter than all the teachers. But I can�t talk to her.

Good, there�s someone smart but I cannot talk to her. Good information.

You can talk to her. But I can�t.

-Are you in love? -No?

Don�t fall in love. Never ever do that.

-She�s mad at me. -That�s right. That�s what girls are like.

They are either mad or in love. Or maybe it was the other way around.

-Hey, guess what... -What?

I can teach you all about girls. It�s really easy.

-Are you rich? -No.

-Are you famous? -No.

-Well then, do you have a record deal? -No.

You could have told me that. This is going to be really tough.

Really tough!

Miranda?

-Nice to see you again. Last time was so nice. -She seems really nice.

I am really sorry about that. But I brought someone I think you�ll find interesting.

Wollie bollie.

Your turn.

-Kenny crashed into my room. -No I didn�t. I just made a hard landing.

He says he is from a another planet.

-Yes. I am from the planet Mylta. -You are not from another planet.

-Yes I am. -No.

-Yes! -No!

Look at this.

I look really cool. He doesn�t. So I am from another planet.

-Do you really expect me to believe that? -Yes please, and then we can address the problem.

-I don�t want to be a hairdresser. -Ok. What do you want to be then?

Galactic Hero of course. But I don�t even know how to get home.

-Try Google maps. -I know.

-Do you believe him? What do you want? -I figured... like...

You are interested in space so maybe this would be interesting.

That would take your mind of your model that I destroyed.

Think of my problems instead.

Look, a lady!

-Isn�t it Pontus? -Oops.

Ischlo pischlo!

Ouch, ouch, ouch. Right on the lump between my butt cheeks.

-What the hell is going on? -Bounty hunters.

They are like regular hunters but they hunt for a bounty.

-We know what bounty hunters are. -Excuse me for explaining then.

Oops.

Faster! Faster! Faster!

Mr. Smart. We have located the boy. He is with a Galactic Hero.

Then you can track his Memorymatic. It has an old tracking device-

-that transmits on channel 29. But I guess you knew that.

I ran out of fuel.

Mad.

-What�s the matter? -Don�t move.

-Does it hurt? -No. What is it?

Let me look. Let me look.

What is it?

Am I bleeding?

No. It�s nothing.

You can see your house from here. See? Over there.

-You live across town, right? -Yes.

Did your parents let lose a lot of rabbits at school last week?

-They are part-time magicians. -Cool.

-What are they doing the rest of the time? -They only work part-time.

My parents are planning my schedule for the week right now.

-Do you want to go home? -No.

They plan my entire life.

When to wake up, what to wear, eat, drink, when to go outside.

It always seems like you have it real nice.

You eat cinnamon buns, have kitchen chairs...

Are you spying on me?

No, not spying.

Sometimes I can feel the smell of cinnamon buns... and think...

Ice cream...

Hairdresser... Ice cream...

-Are you alive? Didn�t you die? -I have been trying to tell you.

I found a glowing stone. I am different since I touched it.

It must have been a magic space stone or something.

-What? -A magic space stone.

-Was it green and glowing? -Yes.

-You didn�t touch it, right? -Yes

-Not with your fingers, right? -Yes.

Ischlo pischlo!

It was nice to meet you. I didn�t pay much attention in class-

but I definitively know that you never should touch emperor Zings crystal.

Why not?

I have no idea. There are limits to how much you can learn, you know.

Where was it?

-It was here yesterday. -It�s just rocks here. Great.

Ischlo pischlo. I wish I had a control cabin.

-A control cabin? -Then I could call general Sudoko.

I could tell him about the bounty hunters and the crystal and I would get my exam.

But I knocked it into the black hole.

-Can�t it be on Earth, like you? -I doubt it.

Is there no research about the black hole and how it works?

We use ours as a space toilet for trash like garden gnomes and nuclear waste.

Brown hole, regular toilet. Black hole, space toilet.

So it IS a black hole? It can be a wormhole.

How fresh. This hole is black.

Let�s say it�s a black hole with a oneway event horizon-

-that is not connected to a white hole, according to Einstein-Rosenberger.

-I was just about to say that. -Me too. Einstein and stuff.

I realized that a long time ago but then we went here and...

Kenny, I have calculated the time

-when the control cabin flew into the black hole.

I think it hit Earth somewhere in the ocean next to Mexico.

Wollie bollie. Let�s go there then.

It�s on the other side of the planet.

Ischlo pischlo.

You obviously want me to be a hairdresser.

-Did you adjust for Earth�s rotation? -Exactly, did you do that?

-Oh, I�m so stupid. -Yes, you suck at calculating.

Ok. It crashed 3 kilometers east of where Kenny crashed.

Three kilometers?

-Or? -It�s not that far.

-Are you really going with us? -Why not?

-You don�t have to get involved. -I think I already am.

I will protect you.

Are you going to kiss now? I want action.

Or an ice cream. No, action. No, ice cream. No, action.

I want both action and ice cream.

That must be it.

-What do that sign say? -"Animals are fun".

I know.

-It�s locked. -We can climb over it.

-It says "Warning! Electrified". -Only the sign, not the fence.

MemoryMatic is now charged. Thank you for using our products.

-You�re welcome. -Let go.

I want to but I can�t.

-We have traced his MemoryMatic. -How nice.

Give me... the coordinates. Hurry up, get going.

How strong is the boy? I am thinking about calling Water.

Ridiculous. It�s just a boy.

Exactly. You hit the nail on the head.

Oh. I apologize. I mean... right.

What strength do you get from this crystal?

Ok, I admit.

I am sending you to a certain death to boost the boys confidence.

That will make it easier to lure him over to my side.

Let�s proceed to plan B.

Hey...

Welcome to MemoryMatic.

This is a code lock. Please enter the code.

We need a code. It says code. We need the code.

You can do it that way, but it is not right. You need the code.

-There must be plenty of scary animals here. -"Animals are fun", that�s what the sign said.

-The sign said "Animal food". -Mr. Know-it-all.

I�ll go first. After all, I am almost a Galactic Hero.

You can go first.

I thought you were "almost a Galactic Hero".

-Someone must cover the rear. -Yes, of course.

-"Androctonus crassicauda". -What�s that?

-I have no idea. A plant maybe. -It means "open the door".

Open it, you who know it all.

Wollie bollie!

Don�t move!

I�ll try to get on top and throw down a rope to you.

Information about scorpions, please.

They bite with their tail. It�s the opposite of a puma or a polar bear.

They bite using their mouth.

-Thanks for the tip. -I know a lot about scorpions.

-No I don�t, I asked the MemoryMatic. -Pontus, wait!

They are everywhere. I must eat them to get anywhere.

That was a leathery thing.

Hello Pontus.

Come in. Have a seat. Eat some cake

Don�t be frightened. What can I do to a big strong boy like you?

-Who are you? -Whoever you want me to. A friend.

A friend that cherish your unique abilities.

Pontus?

You have changed since yesterday, have you not?

Where you happy with yourself before you found the crystal?

-What are you talking about? -Listen to me.

Your so called "friend", the hero, wants to neutralize your powers.

He will send for his colleagues who will drag it out of you-

-like if it were a tooth. A healthy tooth. Ouch...

Kenny? No, he got here by mistake.

-He just don�t want to be a hairdresser. -Of course he says that.

He can�t tell you the truth. You would not follow him then.

Pontus?

And Miranda... Did she ever talk to you-

-before you got your powers?

-Did she? -Go away. What do you want?

Think of what I said, Pontus.

Do you want to send a final message? Speak after the beep.

Wollie bollie, this is Kenny. I am on the other side of the black hole.

I have found the crystal. It is here on the other side of the black hole.

Kenny!

Thank you, but it�s not necessary. I have eaten all scorpions, almost.

-Where is Miranda? -I have no idea.

I have sent messages. The Galactic Heroes will come and get me soon.

What will happen when they get here?

I can go home. I don�t have to be a hairdresser.

-Will they take away my powers? -If you like.

-They can do everything. -And if I don�t want them to?

-What? -If I don�t want to lose my powers?

Look, there she is.

-Hello? -Wrong tube, general.

Hello?

We have received a message from from control cabin no 7.

Wollie bollie. This is Kenny.

I have found the crystal. It is here on the other side of the black hole.

I want to be a captain when I get bet. No, a major.

No, I want to be a general, like Sudoko.

Are you all right?

And they just...

And I just...

Where did they go? Ms Drill, uncle Fan and Mr. Heater?

They are dead. And you did not help.

They were my exam points. You are so fried. First you lose the crystal-

-and then you kill the bounty hunters. Do you WANT me to be a hairdresser?

I am the only one doing the work. You just tag along.

-You are probably better as a hairdresser. -No, I am not.

You misunderstood. This is not a dialogue.

You should be quiet. When were you going to tell us about the Galactic Heroes?

-I don�t understand at all. -You don�t understand anything.

You are acting like children.

You, Miranda... One has to have superpowers to talk to you.

Pontus, calm down. Where are you going?

-Get some ice cream. -Idiot.

You are the speeder. You are wanted for speeding.

She admires you now that you defeated the three monsters, doesn�t she?

I know. She looks at your beautiful body with lust.

Am I correct?

Listen to me, Pontus.

You are about to let the Galactic Heroes take everything away from you.

You will once again be a limping, half-blind, bully victim.

Pontus, what are you doing?

Follow me. I will make sure you will keep your powers.

Pontus!

-Kenny! -Wollie bollie.

I found the speeder. I will be a Hero after all.

Kenny, Pontus left with some scary old man.

-Maybe he found a new friend. -Of course not.

This is my new friend. 1000 point friend.

Don�t you understand? Someone took him away.

I found the speeder. I have sent the emergency signal.

The Galactic Heroes are coming. I�ll wait here.

-What about Pontus? -He told me to be quiet.

Something is wrong. Pontus has delusions-

-and leaves with a scary old man on a flying disc.

-Pontus is mean. -No.

-No, he is changed. -He is mean.

What kind of hero are you?

Ischlo pischlo. Ok, I guess I have to be a hairdresser then.

I�m not doing it for Pontus. I�m doing it for my mother.

Scary man on a flying disc? Let�s fly around and have a look.

Why don�t we just check the flight log?

If we step it backwards we will find out where the ship came from.

No good. Let�s do like this instead.

We�ll backtrack the flight log. That will tell us where the ship came from.

Of course. Absolutely. Do that. Go.

Go left. No, the other left.

-Go right. -Where am I going?

Terminus. Please disembark the vehicle.

Hello Pontus. Nice to meet you.

You look healthy and happy.

Have a seat. Please sit in the power keeper.

Guess what? The power will be yours forever.

Yes, I know what you are thinking. Correct.

I wouldn�t trust a complete stranger either.

Especially not someone who looks like me.

Pitiful, miserable...

... deformed and ugly.

An ugly man in a wheelchair.

-That�s not what I was thinking. -I built all of this just for you.

But I understand if you have doubts.

What have you done?

It�s really nice, but maybe I should talk to Miranda before...

Nice, nice.

Is there anything more disgusting than thievish little boys?

It was a rhetorical question. The answer is no.

You shouldn�t have touched the crystal, Pontus.

In a very short time I had to construct-

-this crystal power extractor.

I had to do it here where there is a power source-

-with enough power to run my quite brilliant invention.

Soon, my little friend,-

-the powers will be sucked out of you-

-and be returned into the crystal.

I am afraid it�s going to hurt a lot, Pontus.

Prepare to experience what it would feel like if your skeleton-

-slowly was pulled out of you nostrils.

Ouch.

Welcome to Magma Tech Sweden. The Magma drill is heated.

Contact in 60 seconds.

Soon I will be tall, handsome and strong.

And you will be gone and deceased and...

Dead?

-Go to hell!

Contact in 50 seconds.

-Goodbye. -Take care.

-Go left again. -Where are we going?

I can by myself. I can do everything. Where am I going?

Do you have to go backwards? Why not just turn the ship around?

I have to think reversed then. That will make me all dizzy.

You just have to follow the flight log.

You drive then.

-What did you do? -I am going to have another ice cream.

-Shall I press the red button? -No, red button are dangerous.

-What did you do? -I pressed the red button.

-It said "Emergency landing". -Oh, I see.

That�s one way to do it, but it isn�t right.

Contact in 10 seconds.

Nine, eight-

-seven, six, five-

-four, three-

-two, one.

Contact.

-Pontus. -Take care of him.

Help me.

-Don�t shoot us. -Do you see him with the giant head?

-He is the brain behind all of this.

You are the ice cream man, right? I saw you on TV. That�s d�j�-vu, right?

-No, it isn�t. -You don�t have to be so angry.

Ok, it IS d�j�-vu. Are you happy now?

Warning. Overheating.

-Wollie bollie. -What are you doing here?

Please connect the cooling system to avoid an earthquake.

High risk of earthquake. Connect the cooling system.

I hope this isn�t a bad time. I didn�t get to finish my presentation.

I would really like to show you more advantages with the chaos gun.

-Do you call this chaos? -Wollie bollie!

Earlier it was two plants, now it�s two idiots.

-My name is Kenny. -Mine too.

-Can you two idiots be quiet? -What?

-Nice hairstyle. -Just like you.

-I must ask, is it all natural? -Yes, just like yours.

It�s too bad I can�t look at my own hair.

If all my hair was in my face I would be able to see it.

-Wollie bollie, that was really smart. -Can you to be quiet? Shut up!

You are irritated. That�s my thing. Chaos!

Where did the nice guy go?

*WARNING* *EARTHQUAKE*

Kenny! He is dying!

-Do something! -What?

-Remove the crystal! -No one touches the crystal!

-I know, I know. -Take the crystal!

No!

Do you remember what happens if I pull the trigger a little longer?

-Noo...! -It will be chaos! Chaos!

Take the crystal before he does!

Excuse me. I need that.

Therma berma!

Warning! Unknown object!

To the handicap entrance.

Mirris. I touched the crystal. I feel a little different.

Pontus developed muscles. I think I developed brain cells.

Earthquake imminent. Volcanic eruption probable.

Please evacuate the building. Hot tip, evacuate the building.

Volcanic eruption is imminent.

I�m feeling hot, hot, hot.

The soup is cooking. I will try to stop the eruption.

I hope the two of you realize the severity of the situation-

-and say what you think to each other.

That�s why I don�t just say wollie, but also quite a lot of bollie.

Hot tip: Evacuate the building.

Warning. Volcano eruption. Please evacuate.

If we don�t make it... I want you to know...

I am looking for Kenny Starfighter. Average built, mullet...

Retreat!

-What about Kenny? -Sorry. War means casualties.

Kenny Starfighter, Galaxy Hero... student, has left us.

He should be honored with a silent minute, but I am hungry... ten seconds will do.

-What are you doing? -We are doing some mourning.

I�m sorry for you loss.

That�s it. No more peace and quiet.

Oh, that�s nice.

More ice, please.

If you just nudged the crystal your powers will disappear soon enough.

-But how did you... -I calculated the power of the eruption.

Added the force of the crystal, subtracted the fat in my butt-

-according to the theory that bacon gets harder the more it fries.

I figured I would land in the ocean but ended up here. Fascinating.

Another fascinating thing. The story that the crystal would disappear-

-when it was flushed down the black hole was a monumental miscalculation.

It makes me think of the saying: "It�s not gone just because you can�t see it.

We have to learn how to manage trash more intelligent in the future.

And the Ice planet who played a significant part in this mess-

-is partially covered in snow and ice cream. I will investigate... Look!

He has a small man on his hand. Hilarious.

-What are you thinking about right now? -What?

Yes, he is back again. Unfortunately.

Our mission on Earth is over. It�s time to say farewell.

Can I get an extension on my exam?

I captured a criminal, but I had to let him go. Somewhat unfortunate.

-Somewhat unfortunate? -Yes.

You practically erased a city on another planet.

-And you ask for an extension? -What?

-Extension! -Exactly, that would be great.

Sweep, Kenny. The first priority is to keep a clean workplace-

-if you want to be a good hairdresser.

-A haircut costs 50. A shave costs 40. -Well, shave my head then.

Did you hear that? Say things like that if you want to be a hairdresser.

Wollie bollie, general. Shave your head for 40. Uh...

Would you like a pot haircut or maybe a hockeystick?

Kenny, we at the academy is used to think of you as a rectal carbuncle.

-Rectal carbuncle...! -Thank you.

And your provocative low IQ-

-is perceived by both teacher and students as an itching thistle.

-Itching thistle...! -I don�t know what to say...

I have tried to circumvent every paragraph to avoid this-

-but unfortunately, and I emphatically say "unfortunately"...

-Emphatically. -Emphatically.

...unfortunately realize the fact that you are hereby appointed to Captain.

What?

Captain Kenny Starfighter.

I know. Wollie bollie! I am a Galactic Hero.

-I don�t have to be a hairdresser any more. -Not yet.

Mullet, please. And a pot haircut for the small one.

Pontus!

-Are you trying to hide? -What? No.

You destroyed my model.

I think you should help me rebuild it.

We�ll have to spend a lot of time together.

-Isn�t that bad? -Yes, really bad.

-Don�t do that. -What are you doing here?

I�m a Galactic Hero now. Captain actually.

-Did you crash here again? -What? Yes.

No. I landed really hard.

And I unfortunately happened to become enemy of those guys.

-What did you do? -I? I didn�t do anything.

I just wanted some ice cream.

Oh. That�s bad.

Run!

Fansubbed 4 Cinemageddon by BaseGbg

Kenny, how do you get your mullet so fluffy?

I use Wavestar from Starfighter Family. Body, bounce and shine.

-What? -Wavestar from Starfighter Family.

-And it taste so good. -I know.