All language subtitles for Jimmy Fallon 2020 07 23 Will Arnett WEB h264 ROBOTS_track3_eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:21,788 >>> FROM ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S 2 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:24,858 "THE TONIGHT SHOW" STARRING JIMMY FALLON 3 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,828 JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS WILL ARNETT 4 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:31,465 MICHAELA COEL. H. E. R. THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW 5 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:44,211 AND NOW HERE'S YOUR HOST, JIMMY FALLON 6 00:00:55,355 --> 00:01:00,394 GUESTS, GOOD TO SEE YOU, GUYS. WELCOME BACK 7 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,462 THANK YOU, EVERYONE, FOR TUNING IN 8 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:05,666 WELCOME TO T"THE TONIGHT SHOW." LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS 9 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,468 EVERYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT THIS. YESTERDAY PRESIDENT TRUMP DID AN 10 00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:13,407 INTERVIEW ON FOX NEWS WHERE HE AGAIN TRIED TO DEFEND HIS OWN 11 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,809 MENTAL FITNESS BY EXPLAINING THE COGNITIVE TEST THAT HE TOOK, 12 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:20,180 WATCH THIS. >> 30 OR 35 QUESTIONS. 13 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:27,287 I LIKE A MEMORY QUESTION IT'S LIKE YOU'LL GO PERSON, 14 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,957 WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV SO LET'S SAY COULD YOU REPEAT 15 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:35,262 THAT SO IT'S PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, 16 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,931 IF YOU GET IT IN ORDER, YOU GET EXTRA POINTS 17 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,968 OKAY, NOW HE'S ASKING YOU OTHER QUESTIONS. 18 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:44,237 GIVE US THAT AGAIN PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV 19 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:54,815 IT'S ACTUALLY NOT THAT EASY, BUT FOR ME IT WAS EASY 20 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:57,985 >> Jimmy: WE COULD HAVE SHOWN YOU MORE BUT OUR SHOW IS ONLY AN 21 00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:00,954 HOUR WHAT IS HE DOING 22 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:04,658 IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE PLAYING CHARADES AFTER POUNDING 23 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:07,060 CHARDONNAY MAN, CAMERA, WOMAN, IS IT A 24 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,796 BOOK, IS IT A MOVIE? I ACTUALLY FEEL A LOT BETTER 25 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:13,967 KNOWING THAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES PASSED 26 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,137 CONCUSSION PROTOCOL. IT WAS IMPRESSIVE UNTIL THEY 27 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:21,508 ASKED TRUMP WHAT HE ATE FOR LUNCH THAT DAY AND HE SAID, 28 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:27,714 "PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV." 29 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,383 I WISH WE COULD SEE TRUMP ANSWER SOME OF THE QUESTIONS IN WRITTEN 30 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:34,388 PORTIONS, BECAUSE I KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. 31 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:38,759 YEAH, THAT'S IT. THE ONLY FIVE NAMES TRUMP 32 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:46,767 COULDN'T REMEMBER WERE HIS KIDS. I WANT TO SAY HARRY, ZAYN, 33 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,702 NIALL, CAMERA, TV. HE WAS BEING INTERVIEWED BY ONE 34 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:53,206 OF FOX NEWS'S TOP MEDICAL CONTRIBUTORS DR. MARK SEGAL. 35 00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:55,509 CAN WE SEE HIS FACE WHEN TRUMP WAS TALKING? 36 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:59,346 YOU CAN TELL HE WAS THINKING, IS HE HAVING A STROKE, OR AM I? 37 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,281 YEAH TRUMP REALLY SEEMED OBSESSED 38 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:04,117 WITH THOSE FIVE WORDS. IT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE IT TURNS 39 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,019 OUT HE SPENT A LOT OF TIME STUDYING FOR THE TEST, CHECK 40 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,621 THIS OUT. >> CAN YOU HELP US 41 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:11,558 >> YEAH. >> CAN YOU SAY ‐ 42 00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:17,931 >> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV 43 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,901 >> SO IT'S PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV 44 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,970 >> HOORAY! >> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, 45 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:28,842 TV >> AGAIN 46 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:33,980 >> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV 47 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:40,420 >> ONE MORE TIME >> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, 48 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:45,459 TV >> HE DID IT, WE DID IT, YAY 49 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:51,832 >> BECAUSE I'M DOCOGNITIVELY THERE. 50 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:56,803 >> Jimmy: WE DID IT! WE DID IT! 51 00:03:56,803 --> 00:04:00,440 LISTEN TO THIS EARLIER TODAY JOE BIDEN RELEASED 52 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,376 A VIDEO WHERE HE SAT DOWN WITH FORMER PRESIDENT OBAMA 53 00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:06,780 THEY TALKED ABOUT A RANGE OF ISSUES LIKE HEALTH CARE, THE 54 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,515 ECONOMY, AND OF COURSE THE COVID PANDEMIC 55 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,017 YOU CAN TELL THEY'RE TAKING COVID SERIOUSLY BECAUSE OF HOW 56 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,786 FAR APART THEY SAT FOR THE INTERVIEWS 57 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:17,691 THIS IS REAL, TAKE A LOOK. WOW. 58 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:23,497 WOW. OBAMA HASN'T DISTANCED HIMSELF 59 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:27,100 FROM BIDEN LIKE THAT SINCE THE FIRST TEN DEMOCRATIC DEBATE. 60 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,270 USUALLY IN A MEETING THIS FAR APART, ONE PERSON IS STROKING A 61 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:35,509 CAT WHILE THE OTHER IS BEING LOWERED INTO A BARRACUDA TANK. 62 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:38,345 LAST TIME YOU LAUGH WITH ME, MR. BOND 63 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,881 SPORTS NEWS, EARLIER TONIGHT MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL MADE ITS 64 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,383 OFFICIAL RETURN, AND IT'S CLEAR THIS SEASON'S GOING TO LOOK 65 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:47,420 PRETTY DIFFERENT. >> STADIUM SEATS WILL BE EMPTY, 66 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,390 REPLACED IN SOME CITIES BY CARDBOARD CUTOUTS. 67 00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:53,326 CELEBRATIONS WILL BE DISTANCED COACHES WILL BE MASKED 68 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,163 >> Jimmy: YEAH, BASEBALL IS BACK 69 00:04:56,163 --> 00:05:02,936 OR AS THE PRESIDENT PUT IT ‐‐ BAT, GLOVE, BALL, HOT DOGS, TV 70 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:06,339 FANS HAVE TO STAY HOME, BUT IF YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE 71 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:10,177 THERE, SPEND 40 BUCKS ON POPCORN AND HAVE YOUR KIDS SPILL HALF OF 72 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,913 IT ON THE FLOOR. THE NBA HAS SEALED EVERYONE IN A 73 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:17,284 BUBBLE IN ONE LOCATION, MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL IS JUST LIKE, 74 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:21,755 LET'S SEE HOW THIS GOES, BABY! THIS IS INTERESTING, THOUGH. 75 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:25,592 FOX ANNOUNCED THAT THEY'RE GOING TO SHOW CGI FANS IN THE STANDS 76 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,428 YEAH THAT WILL BE WEIRD WHEN A 77 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:34,000 PITCHER GETS HECKLE BY THE CAST OF "TOY STORY. 78 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,572 I DON'T ‐‐ I DON'T ‐‐ >> YEAH, LET IT GO, LET IT GO. 79 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,874 LET IT GO. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 80 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:46,012 WELL ‐‐ ALL RIGHT. HERE ‐‐ LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT 81 00:05:46,012 --> 00:06:00,460 HERE >> OH, MAN 82 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:04,197 >> Jimmy: DUST OFF THE OLD CLIFF CLAVEN IMPERSONATION 83 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,732 WASHINGTON'S NFL TEAM ANNOUNCED A TEMPORARY NAME FOR THIS 84 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,801 SEASON. >> THIS JUST IN, BASICALLY 85 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:11,805 WASHINGTON IS GOING TO GO WITH AN INTERIM NAME DURING THE 2020 86 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:16,743 SEASON IT WILL CALL ITSELF THE 87 00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:21,548 WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM >> HA HA HA! 88 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:26,786 >> Jimmy: WHAT THAT'S WHAT THEY CAME UP WITH? 89 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:31,157 THAT NAME SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE TRYING TO TALK ABOUT SPORTS WHO 90 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:34,561 KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT SPORTS I LOVE THE ‐‐ WASHINGTON ‐‐ 91 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:39,165 FOOTBALL ‐‐ TEAM OF COURSE I LOVE THE NEW YORK ‐‐ 92 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,234 HOCKEY ‐‐ CLUB ‐‐ TEAM TOO WHAT'S A GOOD NAME 93 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:48,008 THE WASHINGTON ‐‐ THE ‐‐ CHERRY BLOSSOMS 94 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:52,145 MAYBE IT IS HARD, I DON'T KNOW. >> HOW ABOUT THE ‐‐ IS THERE A 95 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,680 TEAM THE CAP ‐‐ THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS 96 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,115 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THERE IS A TEAM, A GREAT TEAM. 97 00:06:55,115 --> 00:07:00,020 >> YEAH, GREAT, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. 98 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:04,190 >> Jimmy: WASHINGTON CAPITALS 2. >> WASHINGTON CAPITALS PART 2. 99 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:07,127 >> Jimmy: DUDE YEAH, EXACTLY FINALLY, YOU GUYS, YESTERDAY 100 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,429 THERE WAS A CRAZY STORM HERE IN NEW YORK 101 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,765 SOMEONE CAPTURED A PRETTY AMAZING MOMENT AT THE STATUE OF 102 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:19,005 LIBERTY, LOOK AT THIS. WHOA 103 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:22,542 OKAY WORST CASE, THIS DAMAGED THE 104 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:25,278 STATUE OF LIBERTY. BEST CASE, WE FREAKY FRIDAY WITH 105 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,447 CANADA I'M ACTUALLY A LITTLE WORRIED 106 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:32,585 BECAUSE EVER SINCE THAT HAPPENED, THE ONLY THING THE 107 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:35,121 STATUE OF LIBERTY CAN SAY IS, "PERSON, WOMAN, MASK." 108 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:39,159 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT, WILL ARNETT IS HERE 109 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:43,663 MICHAELA COEL IS HERE. AND SHE HAS OVER 7.5 BILLION 110 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:44,431 STREAMS, H. E. R. WILL BE 111 00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:49,336 PERFORMING GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 112 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:58,278 ♪ ♪ 113 00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:01,247 >> Jimmy: OH, MAN OH MAN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE HERE. 114 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:06,486 I GOT TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, THIS IS BIZARRE. 115 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,655 AFTER THE SHOW I GOT HOME. YOU KNOW, PRETTY LATE, READY TO 116 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,058 GO TO SLEEP. I WANTED TO GET IN THE CHRISTMAS 117 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:15,228 SPIRIT BECAUSE ‐‐ WELL, BECAUSE I HAVE 118 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:21,134 A ‐‐ I HAVE A KIDS' BOOK A CHILDREN'S BOOK COMING OUT 119 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,738 I'M THINKING ABOUT DOING SOMETHING AROUND THE BOOK. 120 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:28,241 I WANTED TO LOOK AT A ‐‐ PUT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE ON 121 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,977 SO I SEARCHED APPLE TV OR NETFLIX OR SOMETHING, LOOKING 122 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:35,148 FOR A MOVIE. THE FIRST THAT COMES UP IS 123 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,750 "CHRISTMAS PEN PAL." A LIFETIME, YOU KNOW, ONE OF 124 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:41,354 THOSE MOVIES I LOVE THOSE MOVIES. 125 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,390 I LOVE THE MUSHY, ROMANTIC, THE CORNY, I'M ALL OF THAT, I LOVE 126 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:46,493 IT I PUT THIS THING ON, THIS MOVIE. 127 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:51,231 IT'S GREAT I'M WATCHING IT. 128 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,533 AND IT'S SARAH DREW, WHO WAS ON "GREY'S ANATOMY," SHE'S GREAT, I 129 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,637 LOVED IT ACTING WAS GOOD. 130 00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:03,109 MICHAEL GROSS WHO IS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME, "FAMILY TIES." 131 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:06,279 WATCHING THE MOVIE KIND OF GETTING READY TO GO TO 132 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:09,115 SLEEP, THEN THIS COMES UP. >> OH‐OH. 133 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,418 >> THEN I GET AN OFFER ON THE APARTMENT, INSANELY OVER ASKING 134 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,419 PRICE, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO THE BUYER WAS. 135 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:15,889 JIMMY FALLON. >> NO WAY! 136 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,025 I LOVE HIM >> OH, HE'S GREAT, HE'S GREAT. 137 00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:22,796 REALLY SHY, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT 138 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:26,199 >> Jimmy: WAIT, WHAT THE MOVIE'S FROM 2018. 139 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,468 I'D NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE, I DID NOT PICK THIS THING. 140 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:30,670 I WAS WATCHING THIS LIKE FREAKING OUT 141 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,305 THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE EITHER ‐‐ MAYBE I DIED 142 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,574 I DON'T KNOW MAYBE LIFE ISN'T REAL? 143 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:41,381 I GO, WHAT DID I JUST HEAR MY NAME? 144 00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:42,682 SO I'M IN THIS "CHRISTMAS PEN PAL. 145 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:50,657 IT'S ABOUT A SMALL TOWN, THEY HAVE LIKE ‐‐ YOU DON'T WANT TO 146 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:54,828 HEAR THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE A SMALL TOWN, ALL THE SINGLE 147 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,664 PEOPLE PUT THEIR NAMES, LIKE PEN NAMES, THEY WRITE LOVE LETTERS 148 00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:58,665 TO EACH OTHER, HOPING TO FIND LOVE. 149 00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,167 >> LETTERS 2018 150 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,570 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH A SMALL TOWN, YEAH 151 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,972 A POST OFFICE AND EVERYTHING, THE MAILMAN. 152 00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:08,575 HE'S SINGLE, HE CAN GET INVOLVED 153 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:12,512 SHE HAS A PEN NAME, STARDUST SOME OTHER PERSON HAS A NAME 154 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:16,950 YOU DON'T KNOW WHO ‐‐ KIND OF SECRET SANTA, CALLED CHRISTMAS 155 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,752 CUPID. THAT'S NOT THE NAME, IT'S CALLED 156 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,821 "CHRISTMAS PEN PAL." ANYWAY 157 00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:27,293 THAT COMES ON AND THE GUY'S LIKE, YEAH, I SOLD AN OVERPRICED 158 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,330 APARTMENT, GUESS WHO, JIMMY FALLON 159 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,099 HE SUCKERED ME INTO BUYING AN APARTMENT. 160 00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:35,902 THEN NICE GUY, I LOVE JIMMY. SHE SAID, I LOVE HIM TOO 161 00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:42,242 HE GOES, HE'S ACTUALLY SHY IN PERSON 162 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,645 I COULD BE SHY, SARAH. WHY CAN'T I BE ‐‐ ANYWAY, THE 163 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,381 WHOLE POINT OF ME BRINGING THIS UP, LIFETIME, IF YOU'RE 164 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:52,218 WATCHING, IF YOU EVER WANT TO USE MY NAME, EVER, FOR SOME 165 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:56,789 CASUAL BACKGROUND CONVERSATION OR WHATEVER, AMBIENT NOISE OVER 166 00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:59,859 DINNER, YOU HAVE MORE THAN ANY PERMISSION, PLEASE PUT IT IN 167 00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:03,229 EVERY HOLIDAY MOVIE. YOU KNOW WHO I JUST SOLD THIS 168 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:06,666 TREE TO? JIMMY FALLON 169 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,967 300 BUCKS, I RIPPED HIM OFF, UNBELIEVABLE 170 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:11,671 HEY, HE'S PRETTY SHY IN PERSON I LOVED IT 171 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,840 I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A BIZARRE THING. 172 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,910 I HAD TO TALK ABOUT IT I WAS LIKE, THIS STUFF THAT 173 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,546 HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME, JUST WEIRD STUFF. 174 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,481 LIKE "THE TRUMAN SHOW" OR SOMETHING. 175 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,017 THE TV, IS IT WATCHING ME? >> CRAZY, MAN. 176 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,085 >> Jimmy: IT'S THE END OF THE WEEK 177 00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:30,123 I WANT TO CATCH YOU UP WITH PERSONAL STUFF, CHECK MY INBOX, 178 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,658 EMAILS, I SEND OUT THANK YOU NOTES. 179 00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,727 I WAS RUNNING A BIT BEHIND IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND, I'D LIKE 180 00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,462 TO WRITE THANK YOU NOTES RIGHT NOW. 181 00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:44,237 CAN I GET THANK YOU NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE? 182 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,171 ♪ >> Jimmy: YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE 183 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:52,312 WHO I RIPPED OFF. >> WHO 184 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,714 >> Jimmy: CHILI SAL, I LOVED IT, IT WAS GOOD, MAN 185 00:11:54,714 --> 00:12:00,420 I WAS GOING TO WATCH THE SEQUEL ‐‐ I'LL STOP TALKING. 186 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,690 THERE WAS A SEQUEL CALLED "CHRISTMAS A LA MODE 187 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:10,029 IT WASN'T A SEQUEL, IT WAS A GUESS HOY JUST SOLD THE DESSERT 188 00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,364 TO THREE SCOOPS, I WAS LAUGHING THE 189 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,234 WHOLE TIME ♪ 190 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:19,772 POWERFUL, POWERFULLY LOUD ON THAT ONE, WOW. 191 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:23,476 ♪ THANK YOU, TAYLOR SWIFT SURPRISE 192 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:27,747 2020 ALBUM, DROPPING AT MIDNIGHT, BEING THE FIRST TIME 193 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:32,118 HEARING SURPRISE AND 2020 IN THE SAME SENTENCE HASN'T MADE US ALL 194 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:37,690 FLINCH ♪ 195 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,960 THANK YOU, TACO BELL, FOR RETIRING YOUR SEVEN‐LAYER 196 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,930 BURRITO. NOW IF I WANT RICE, BEANS, 197 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,232 TOMATOES, LETTUCE, SOUR CREAM, AND CHEESE, I'LL JUST HAVE TO 198 00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:55,074 ORDER LITERALLY ANY OTHER MENU ITEM 199 00:12:55,074 --> 00:13:00,847 ♪ THANK YOU, JOE BIDEN, FOR 200 00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:03,716 CALLING TRUMP THE FIRST RACIST PRESIDENT. 201 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:09,389 OR AS NEARLY ANY OTHER PRESIDENT WOULD PUT IT, YES, THE FIRST 202 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:15,395 ONE. ♪ 203 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:20,233 THANK YOU, SOCIALLY DISTANCED SEASON OF "THE BACHELORETTE" FOR 204 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:24,704 MAKING ABOUT AS MUCH SEASON AS A DRY SEASON OF "THE JERSEY 205 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,740 SHORE. WELL, BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT ‐‐ YOU 206 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:32,545 KNOW BUT THEY MIGHT 207 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:36,816 BUT THEY MIGHT THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO 208 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:44,357 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: GOOD POINT 209 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,427 ♪ PEOPLE LOVE PEOPLE SO WHY SHOULD IT BE ♪ 210 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:53,700 ♪ YOU AND I SHOULD GET ALONG HM HM ♪ 211 00:13:53,700 --> 00:14:08,981 >> HA HA HA! ♪ 212 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:09,782 >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, JUST STOP. ♪ 213 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,050 ♪ ♪ ♪ 214 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:15,088 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, DRIVE‐IN MOVIE THEATERS, FOR LETTING US 215 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:19,258 WATCH MOVIES THE FILMMAKERS INTENDED, THROUGH A CRACKED 216 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:26,399 WINDSHIELD COVERED IN BIRD POOP. THINK IT'S A SHARK 217 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,868 ♪ >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, FAKE CROWD 218 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,636 NOISE AT MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAMES. 219 00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:34,774 GEEZ, HOW INSECURE ARE THOSE PLAYERS THAT THEY NEED 220 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:41,114 ARTIFICIAL AUDIENCE SOUNDS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 221 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,315 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT 222 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:49,989 REAL CROWD, FAKE, I DON'T CARE, BASEBALL IS BACK, Y'ALL. 223 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:54,360 I LIKE THAT, ACTUALLY. BASEBALL IS BACK, Y'ALL. 224 00:14:54,360 --> 00:15:00,833 QWEST, CAN I GET A BEAT? ♪ ONE TWO THREE FOUR ♪ 225 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:05,304 ♪ BASEBALL IS BACK Y'ALL ♪ ♪ I SAID BASEBALL IS BACK 226 00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:14,580 Y'ALL ♪ ♪ GREEN MONSTER 37 FEET TALL ♪ 227 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,084 ♪ GOT TO SNAP BACK IT'S AT THE MALL ♪ 228 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:26,159 ♪ FAUCI THREW THE FIRST PITCH ♪ ♪ EATING ICE CREAM OUT A LITTLE 229 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:31,764 HELMET ♪ ♪ FOUR BALLS MEANS YOU WALK ♪ 230 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:38,971 ♪ AND SO DOES THAT TRAP CALL ♪ ♪ CATCHERS AND PITCH ERS 231 00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:42,675 PINCH‐HITTERS ♪ ♪ I DANCE OFF WITH MASCOTS BUT 232 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:45,411 NOT WITH A MASK OFF ♪ ♪ BECAUSE BASEBALL IS BACK 233 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:52,852 Y'ALL ♪ ♪ SAID BASEBALL IS BACK Y'ALL ♪ 234 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:57,657 ♪ WOW WOW WOW ♪ >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK 235 00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:01,160 WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY! 236 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:06,199 ♪ BASEBALL IS BACK IT'S BACK IT'S BACK IT'S REALLY BACK ♪ 237 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:06,532 ♪ IT'S BACK ♪ 238 00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:20,546 >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN 239 00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:23,950 EXECUTIVE PRODUCER ON THE NEW ANIMATED SHOW CALLED "YOUR DAILY 240 00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:29,188 HOROSCOPE" WHICH YOU CAN SEE FIVE NIGHTS A WEEK ON QUIBI. 241 00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:34,427 HE ALSO HOSTS A NEW PODCAST ALONGSIDE JASON BATEMAN AND SEAN 242 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,396 HAYES CALLED "SMARTLESS. MY FRIEND WILL ARNETT, NICE TO 243 00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:40,600 SEE YOU, BUD, I MISS YOU. >> GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, MAN. 244 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,534 >> Jimmy: CONGRATS, YOU HAVE A NEW BABY BOY 245 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,571 >> I KNOW. I JUST FOUND OUT 246 00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:49,642 >> Jimmy: SORRY. I DIDN'T RUIN IT, DID I? 247 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:53,346 >> NO, NO, I JUST FOUND ‐‐ NO, NO, IT WAS SO ‐‐ I JUST MET HIM 248 00:16:53,346 --> 00:17:03,956 UPSTAIRS, I'M IN THE BASEMENT. >> Jimmy: DO YOU GET ALONG 249 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:04,857 >> I WAS LIKE, HEY, WHO'S THIS LITTLE GUY 250 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:05,925 WE GET ALONG GREAT YEAH WE JUST HAD OUR LITTLE GUY, 251 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,894 DENNY ALEXANDER, WE CALL HIM ‐‐ DENNIS, WE CALL HIM DENNY. 252 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:08,995 >> Jimmy: NOT AFTER THE ‐‐ >> NOT AFTER THE FAST FOOD 253 00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:15,101 CHAIN. >> Jimmy: WHY NOT? 254 00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:18,804 >> EVERYBODY ‐‐ EVERYBODY WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT I'M A FAN OF 255 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:21,007 THE GRAND SLAM BREAKFAST. >> Jimmy: ME TOO 256 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,943 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I DON'T THINK I'VE 257 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:24,744 EVER HAD A BAD TIME AT A DENNY'S. 258 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:27,680 >> I DON'T THINK ‐‐ I DON'T THINK I HAVE EITHER. 259 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:32,151 >> Jimmy: I LOVE ‐‐ IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH DENNY, BUT 260 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,654 WHY NOT? PUT HIM IN A COUPLE COMMERCIALS. 261 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:42,428 >> YOU KNOW WHY? THE PRICE HASN'T BEEN RIGHT YET. 262 00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,397 >> Jimmy: OH MY GOSH HOW IS IT? 263 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:49,101 IS IT WEIRD, IS IT DIFFERENT I MEAN, ARCHIE AND ABEL ARE HOW 264 00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:53,573 OLD NOW? >> THEY'RE 9 AND 11. 265 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,842 11 AND 9 AND THEY ‐‐ THEY'RE SUPER 266 00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:59,378 PSYCHED TO BE BIG BROTHERS AND IT'S BEEN CRAZY. 267 00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:02,982 BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN RIGHT NOW. 268 00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:06,252 SO IT'S BEEN WEIRD ANYWAY. I FEEL LIKE BEING IN THIS SORT 269 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:09,655 OF QUARANTINE HAS PREPARED ME. BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE. 270 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:13,459 THOSE FIRST FEW MONTHS OF HAVING A BABY ARE KIND OF LIKE BEING IN 271 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:16,662 QUARANTINE ANYWAY. YOU KIND OF LOCK DOWN. 272 00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:21,267 >> Jimmy: YEAH. >> THAT'S HOW I FELT ANYWAY, AND 273 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:25,171 IT'S JUST BECOME DOUBLE THAT, SO IT'S BEEN OKAY 274 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:28,240 I FEEL LIKE ALEC BALDWIN IN "HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER. 275 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,542 I FEEL LIKE THE CAPTAIN OF A SUBMARINE. 276 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,044 >> Jimmy: STUCK IN THE SUBMARINE, YEAH. 277 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:35,881 >> IN A SUBMARINE YOU CAN'T BE LIKE, I'M GOING TO RUN OUT FOR A 278 00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,850 PACK OF BUD. CAN'T DO THAT. 279 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,152 IN A SUBMARINE. >> Jimmy: NO, YOU HAVE TO BE 280 00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:42,121 THERE. >> I DO HAVE MY BOOTH HERE, 281 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,724 WHICH IS GOOD. I HAVE MY SOUNDPROOF BOOTH HERE 282 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,693 AT HOME. >> Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO ASK 283 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,762 THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL BOOTH YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR 284 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:53,833 A LONG TIME. >> YEAH, I HANDCRAFTED ‐‐ I JUST 285 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,869 GOT THE CARPETING IN IT'S REALLY NICE. 286 00:18:56,869 --> 00:19:00,139 >> Jimmy: I WATCHED ‐‐ YOUR OTHER SHOW, "BUILDING A BOOTH. 287 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,976 >> YOU DID WATCH IT. >> Jimmy: WELL ‐‐ YEAH 288 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,845 SURE YES. 289 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,014 >> I SENT YOU THE LINKS, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO PROMO IT 290 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,750 ON THE SHOW. >> Jimmy: SO HARD WITH THE WI‐FI 291 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,385 AND EVERYTHING, I CAN'T ‐‐ YOU KNOW. 292 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,486 >> THAT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD ANSWER 293 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:18,724 SO ANYWAY. >> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, "BATMAN" 294 00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:22,561 IS ON ROTATION AT MY HOUSE YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST 295 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,864 YOU ARE PERFECTLY ACTED IN THAT MOVIE. 296 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,066 YOU DID SUCH A GREAT JOB I KNOW I PROBABLY TOLD YOU THAT 297 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,902 ALREADY. IT WAS SO PERFECTLY DONE, SO 298 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:33,272 CONGRATS YOU WERE BATMAN IN OUR HOUSE. 299 00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,775 >> LET ME JUST SAY THANKS. >> Jimmy: OH MY GOSH. 300 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:39,178 >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I GOT THE MIC, MIGHT AS WELL. 301 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:43,015 >> Jimmy: DO YOU GET PAID FOR THAT, WHAT YOU JUST DID, OR NO 302 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,316 >> I DON'T GET PAID FOR JACK [ BLEEP ]. 303 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,385 >> Jimmy: THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE MOVIE. 304 00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:50,656 >> THAT SHOULD HAVE. IT WAS, IT WAS IN THE OUTTAKES 305 00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:52,391 IT WAS CALLED "BATMAN AFTER DARK." 306 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:55,127 >> Jimmy: THE BLUE VERSION YOU HAVE TWO PROJECTS. 307 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:58,130 YOU COULDN'T BE BUSIER. >> TWO NEW PROJECTS, WHICH HAS 308 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:02,902 BEEN REALLY AWESOME. WE'VE GOT THIS THING, "YOUR 309 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:06,505 DAILY HOROSCOPE," OVER ON QUIBI, A FUN WAY TO GET YOUR HOROSCOPE. 310 00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:08,240 PEOPLE LOVE GETTING THEIR HOROSCOPE. 311 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,077 >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT, I ALWAYS HAVE. 312 00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,511 >> ON OUR SHOW WE ANIMATE ‐‐ EVERY DAY IS LITTLE SHORT 313 00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:16,215 ANIMATIONS FOR EVERY SIGN. IT'S REALLY A FUN WAY TO GET IT. 314 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,517 YOU KIND OF FOLLOW ALONG WITH ALL THESE DIFFERENT ANIMALS THAT 315 00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:21,253 REPRESENT THE SIGN AND I JUST FIGURED PEOPLE LIKE 316 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:24,557 TO HAVE FUN. I THINK ‐‐ I THINK I'M RIGHT 317 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,927 ABOUT THAT >> Jimmy: WE POLLED ‐‐ WE POLLED 318 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:32,098 OUR AUDIENCE >> YOU DON'T HAVE AN AUDIENCE. 319 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,966 JIMMY, LISTEN. LET ME GET AN ADDRESS ON YOU, A 320 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,468 HARD STREET ADDRESS. LET ME JUST ‐‐ 321 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:40,272 >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE THE TILE APP? 322 00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:45,311 BECAUSE IF YOU'RE CLOSE TO ME, YOUR PHONE WILL BEEP 323 00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:51,117 >> OH, I'M GOING TO GET THE TILE APP, GOOD IDEA 324 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:54,153 DON'T GIVE ME A P. O. BOX I TRY TO GET ADDRESSES AND THEY 325 00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:57,990 GIVE ME ‐‐ YOU KNOW THIS STORY FRED ARMISEN USED TO DO IT 326 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:02,128 SOMEBODY WOULD COME ON "SNL," THE BIGGER THE HOST, LIKE TOM 327 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:05,898 CRUISE, DAY ONE, HE'D GO UP TO THEM, LET ME GET YOUR CELL PHONE 328 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:09,368 REAL QUICK >> Jimmy: I SAW KEVIN NEALON DO 329 00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:12,204 A GOOD ONE THAT I WANTED TO STEAL. 330 00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,273 HE WAS TALKING TO SANDLER OR SOMEBODY 331 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,274 HE GOES, SANDLER, GIVE ME A CALL 332 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,444 I DON'T HAVE YOUR NUMBER, GIVE ME A NUMBER. 333 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,280 PULLED A PEN OUT, HE HAD A TOOTHPICK, HE PULLED THE PEN 334 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,115 LIKE HE WAS GOING TO WRITE IT ON A TOOTHPICK. 335 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:28,587 HE GOES, JUST GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER, WHAT IS IT 336 00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:31,657 WHAT'S THE PODCAST WITH SEAN HAYES AND JASON BATEMAN? 337 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:33,526 HOW'D THAT COME ABOUT? >> THOSE TWO CLOWNS. 338 00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:38,798 THEY WEDGED THEIR WAY INTO MY IDEA 339 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,433 AND I WAS LIKE ‐‐ I WANT TO DO A PODCAST, AND THEY WERE LIKE, 340 00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:45,304 GREAT, LET'S DO ONE. NO, I'M DOING A PODCAST. 341 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,406 THEY'RE LIKE, RIGHT, WE'RE DOING ONE. 342 00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:50,676 WHAT HAPPENED WAS, I JUST THOUGHT, I AM DOING ANOTHER 343 00:21:50,676 --> 00:21:52,745 PODCAST ON MY OWN THAT'S COMING OUT. 344 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:57,449 I WAS LIKE, I WANT TO DO THIS WITH MY BUDDIES AND HAVE FUN 345 00:21:57,449 --> 00:22:00,619 THEY'RE OLD FRIENDS. FIND OUT STUFF ABOUT PEOPLE THAT 346 00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:05,224 WE KNOW OR THAT WE DON'T KNOW, JUST HAVE A LAUGH. 347 00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,525 KIND OF EXACTLY WHAT IT ENDED UP BEING. 348 00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:09,595 THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING. THE FIRST EPISODE CAME OUT ON 349 00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:14,867 MONDAY WE HAD OUR BUDDY DAX SHEPARD ON. 350 00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:16,902 I HOPE YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED YOUR NUMBER BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO 351 00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:20,639 ASK YOU. THERE'S NOB BETTER THAN GETTING 352 00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:22,808 THE "COME ON OUR PODCAST" QUESTION, YOU KNOW 353 00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:24,243 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW MY NUMBER. >> SURE. 354 00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,778 >> Jimmy: 4. >> 4 355 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,513 IS IT STILL 4? >> Jimmy: YEP. 356 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:28,514 >> OKAY. HANG ON. 357 00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:34,286 >> Jimmy: NO PROBLEM. >> I WANT TO DING YOU REAL 358 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:35,154 QUICK. >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S 359 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,122 AROUND ANYMORE I WOULD LIKE TO PLAY A GAME WHEN 360 00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:42,695 WE COME BACK HAVE YOU HEARD OF "HEY, ROBOT? 361 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,663 >> YEAH, YOU SUMMON A PASSING ROBOT. 362 00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:46,665 HEY, ROBOT, COME HERE, WE GOT TO TALK TO YOU. 363 00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:48,567 >> Jimmy: THE RULES HAVE CHANGED. 364 00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:50,603 I'LL EXPLAIN IN THE COMMERCIAL BREAK. 365 00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:55,297 MORE WITH WILL ARNETT WHEN WE COME BACK, EVERYBODY 366 00:23:02,968 --> 00:23:05,918 ♪ >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, 367 00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:08,988 EVERYBODY. HANGING OUT WITH WILL ARNETT 368 00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:15,661 WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY A GAME CALLED "HEY, ROBOT." 369 00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:17,296 ♪ HEY ROBOT HEY ROBOT ♪ >> Jimmy: THIS IS BASED ON A 370 00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:21,367 REAL BOARD GAME. THIS IS LIKE YOUR CLASSIC GAME 371 00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:25,271 "PASSWORD" BUT YOUR PARTNER IS A SMART SPEAKER. 372 00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:28,774 I'LL PICK A CARD, WE'LL TAKE TURNS ASKING A QUESTION TO GET 373 00:23:28,774 --> 00:23:34,113 THE SPEAKER TO SAY THE WORD SOMEWHERE IN ITS ANSWER. 374 00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:36,415 IF IT DOES, WE GET A POINT I WILL GO FIRST. 375 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,718 ALL RIGHT. CORN DOG 376 00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,687 CORN DOG IS THE WORD >> CORN DOG. 377 00:23:41,687 --> 00:23:44,723 >> Jimmy: CORN DOG. >> GOT IT. 378 00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:50,195 >> Jimmy: ALEXA, WHAT DO YOU CALL A HOT DOG DIPPED IN BATTER? 379 00:23:50,195 --> 00:23:55,000 >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND ON THE WEB. 380 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:59,271 ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA.ORG, IF SERVED WITH A STICK IT IS 381 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:02,541 REFERRED TO AS A HOT DOG AND USUALLY DIPPED IN A GENEROUS 382 00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:06,812 AMOUNT OF TOMATO SAUCE AND SERVED IMMEDIATELY ‐‐ 383 00:24:06,812 --> 00:24:08,681 >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. 384 00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:11,650 WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? I SAID HOT DOG DIPPED IN ‐‐ 385 00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:14,353 WHATEVER THIS IS YOUR TURN, YOU TALK TO 386 00:24:14,353 --> 00:24:18,390 THE THING, I CAN'T EVEN DO IT. >> HEY, MAN, TAKE IT EASY. 387 00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:20,793 >> Jimmy: NO, NO, WE CAN CUT THE WHOLE THING OUT. 388 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,529 >> NO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO CUT ‐‐ NO, YOU DID GREAT, YOU DID 389 00:24:23,529 --> 00:24:26,732 GREAT. >> Jimmy: WE DONE? 390 00:24:26,732 --> 00:24:30,302 >> NO, AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW, THE TERM ‐‐ JIMMY, SIT DOWN. 391 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:36,642 THE TERM HERO GETS THROWN AROUND A LOT THESE DAYS 392 00:24:36,642 --> 00:24:41,480 THAT WAS THE WORST THING ‐‐ OKAY 393 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,549 ALL RIGHT. NOW DO I HAVE TO DO THIS WORD 394 00:24:43,549 --> 00:24:47,152 TOO? >> Jimmy: YES. 395 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:51,090 >> OKAY. HEY, SIRI. 396 00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:54,360 >> Jimmy: NO, THE OTHER ONE. THE OTHER ONE. 397 00:24:54,360 --> 00:25:00,966 >> WHAT IS IT? >> Jimmy: A‐L‐E‐X‐A. 398 00:25:00,966 --> 00:25:04,436 >> HEY, BING OH, OKAY, I GOT IT 399 00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:07,072 HERE WE GO, I GOT IT FOR REAL, LET'S START MESSING 400 00:25:07,072 --> 00:25:09,141 AROUND, GROW UP. >> Jimmy: STOP HAVING FUN, 401 00:25:09,141 --> 00:25:11,877 PLEASE. >> HEY, ALEXA. 402 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:14,713 WHERE DO YOU GET OFF ‐‐ >> Jimmy: HEY, COME ON 403 00:25:14,713 --> 00:25:16,348 ALEXA, STOP, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS 404 00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:18,984 LET'S GO ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET TO THE NEXT 405 00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:21,053 ONE. TIE SCORE. 406 00:25:21,053 --> 00:25:28,360 100‐100. HERE WE GO 407 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:33,532 >> JASON BATEMAN >> Jimmy: ALEXA, WHO STARS IN 408 00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:39,405 THE SHOW "OZARK" >> "OZARK" STARS INCLUDE JASON 409 00:25:39,405 --> 00:25:42,474 BATEMAN, SOFIA HUFFMAN ‐‐ >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP, THAT WAS 410 00:25:42,474 --> 00:25:45,644 MORE THAN ENOUGH, THANK YOU. WILL, IT'S YOUR TURN TO TRY TO 411 00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:49,048 MATCH AND BEAT ME HERE THE WORD IS BALD. 412 00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:53,752 >> ALEXA, WHAT KIND OF EAGLE IS ALMOST EXTINCT 413 00:25:53,752 --> 00:25:58,223 >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND FROM THE ARTICLE "WHITE TAILED EAGLE" 414 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,859 ON WIKIPEDIA ULTIMATELY THE WHITE TAILED 415 00:26:00,859 --> 00:26:07,199 EAGLE WAS ALMOST EXTINCT IN EUROPE ‐‐ 416 00:26:07,199 --> 00:26:15,040 >> OH, ALEXA, GIVE IT A REST >> Jimmy: OKAY, LET ME TRY TO 417 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:23,582 SEE IF I CAN GET THIS ONE HERE ALEXA, WHAT IS ROGAIN FOR? 418 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:29,922 >> ROGAIN EXTRA STRENGTH FOR MEN IS A BRAND‐NAME DRUG CLASSIFIED 419 00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:33,625 AS A HAIR GROWTH MEDICATION ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA 420 00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:39,031 ROGAIN EXTRA STRENGTH FOR MEN IS USED TO TREAT ‐‐ 421 00:26:39,031 --> 00:26:41,366 >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP. LIKE AN OLD COMMERCIAL FOR ‐‐ 422 00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:43,368 GEEZ. >> LET ME TRY ONE MORE. 423 00:26:43,368 --> 00:26:45,237 >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP. ALEXA, STOP. 424 00:26:45,237 --> 00:26:48,707 >> I GOT ONE MORE. >> Jimmy: GO. 425 00:26:48,707 --> 00:26:55,280 >> ALEXA, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE LOOK OF DADDY WAR BUCKS? 426 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,482 >> SORRY, I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT 427 00:26:56,482 --> 00:26:58,517 >> ME NEITHER. I'M NOT EITHER, THAT MAKES TWO 428 00:26:58,517 --> 00:27:03,155 OF US. OKAY, GO AHEAD 429 00:27:03,155 --> 00:27:21,073 >> Jimmy: I'D SAY ‐‐ I'D SAY MAYBE ALOOF? 430 00:27:21,073 --> 00:27:22,274 HE WAS ALOOF OH, MAN. 431 00:27:22,274 --> 00:27:25,010 LAST ONE. >> WHAT WAS THE PLOT OF THAT 432 00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:26,445 I FORGET ANYWAY. 433 00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:29,281 >> Jimmy: THE LAST ONE HERE. WHOEVER GETS THIS WINS THE WHOLE 434 00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:33,986 THING. READY? 435 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:39,324 WILL, YOU CAN GO FIRST >> ALEXA, WHAT IS THE SIGNATURE 436 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:43,595 MOVE IN KARATE >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND ON 437 00:27:43,595 --> 00:27:48,000 REFERENCE.COM. KARATE HAS MANY BASIC MOVES THAT 438 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,601 ARE CLASSIFIED AS OFFENSIVE OR DEFENSIVE. 439 00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:53,772 WHILE THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT STYLES OF KARATE, MASK MOVES, 440 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:56,508 SUCH AS THE FOREARM BLOCKING STRAIGHT PUNCH, ARE COMMON TO 441 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,778 MOST FORMS >> THANK YOU, PERFECT. 442 00:27:59,778 --> 00:28:01,947 WELL SAID, I AGREE LET ME TRY. 443 00:28:01,947 --> 00:28:06,552 >> OKAY, GO. >> Jimmy: ALEXA, NAME DIFFERENT 444 00:28:06,552 --> 00:28:10,689 CUTS OF PORK >> ACCORDING TO AN ALEXA ANSWER 445 00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:16,595 CONTRIBUTOR, THERE ARE NINE MAIN BEEF CUTS. 446 00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:20,132 THEY ARE CHUCKS, RIBS, LOINS, ROUNDS, FLANK, SHORT, BRISKET, 447 00:28:20,132 --> 00:28:22,067 SHANK. >> Jimmy: YOU NAMED THE EIGHT 448 00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:27,105 STOOGES. I HATED SHANK. 449 00:28:27,105 --> 00:28:30,042 HE WAS MY LEAST FAVORITE I NEVER LIKED SHANK. 450 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,677 I LIKE ALL THE OTHER STOOGES ALL RIGHT. 451 00:28:31,677 --> 00:28:34,846 I THINK THAT'S THE GAME. I'M GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU, MY 452 00:28:34,846 --> 00:28:37,816 GUEST. WILL ARNETT, CONGRATULATIONS, 453 00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:40,319 YOU ARE THE CHAMP. >> WE WERE TERRIBLE AT THAT. 454 00:28:40,319 --> 00:28:42,521 >> Jimmy: TERRIBLE >> THERE'S NO CELEBRATING HERE 455 00:28:42,521 --> 00:28:47,226 TODAY, JIMMY >> Jimmy: WILL ARNETT, HIS 456 00:28:47,226 --> 00:28:50,262 PODCAST "SMARTLESS" IS AVAILABLE EVERY MONDAY 457 00:28:50,262 --> 00:28:52,931 HIS ANIMATED SHOW "YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE" IS AVAILABLE FIVE 458 00:28:52,931 --> 00:28:55,400 DAYS A WEEK ON QUIBI MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE 459 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:55,870 BREAK. THANKS FOR COMING ON, WILL 460 00:29:03,780 --> 00:29:11,383 ♪ >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS THE 461 00:29:11,383 --> 00:29:15,754 STAR AND CREATOR OF ONE OF THE BIGGEST SHOWS ON TV RIGHT NOW 462 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:20,792 CALLED "I MAY DESTROY YOU. NEW EPISODES AIR MONDAYS AT 9:00 463 00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:22,995 P.M. ON HBO. MERE IS MICHAELA COEL, 464 00:29:22,995 --> 00:29:25,597 EVERYBODY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON 465 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,133 OUR SHOW, I APPRECIATE IT. YOU'RE SPEAKING TO ME FROM 466 00:29:28,133 --> 00:29:31,603 LONDON, IS THAT CORRECT? >> YES, EAST LONDON, THAT'S 467 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,905 RIGHT. >> Jimmy: AND HOW IS ‐‐ HOW ARE 468 00:29:33,905 --> 00:29:37,175 YOU DOING, HOW ARE YOU HANGING IN THERE 469 00:29:37,175 --> 00:29:41,546 >> YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF LIKE UPS AND DOWNS. 470 00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:47,786 SOMETIMES I'M STRUGGLING WITH THE ANXIETY OF NOT KNOWING 471 00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:49,421 WHAT'S GOING ON, LIKE MANY OTHER PEOPLE 472 00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:54,459 I'M SORT OF OCCUPYING MYSELF WITH PUZZLES 473 00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:57,963 I GO RUNNING BUT MY KNEES ARE GETTING SORE, SO NOW I'VE BEEN 474 00:29:57,963 --> 00:30:00,265 STOMPING IN THE PARK, WHICH HAS BEEN GOOD. 475 00:30:00,265 --> 00:30:04,169 >> Jimmy: DANCING IN THE PARK? >> I'VE BEEN DANCING IN THE 476 00:30:04,169 --> 00:30:05,937 PARK, YES. YEAH 477 00:30:05,937 --> 00:30:09,641 BASICALLY I WAS RUNNING A LOT, LIKE EVERY DAY 478 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,742 BUT MY KNEES STARTED GETTING SORE 479 00:30:10,742 --> 00:30:14,346 ONE OF THE TIMES WHEN I WAS RUNNING I WAS GOING THROUGH MY 480 00:30:14,346 --> 00:30:17,516 FAVORITE PARK AND I SAW THIS GUY. 481 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:22,120 AND HE WAS JUST SORT OF THERE, STATIONARY, BUT DOING THESE HUGE 482 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,823 LIKE MOTIONS, DANCING WITH THESE HUGE EAR PHONES ON 483 00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:29,194 AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SO COOL THAT AS I WAS RUNNING BY I GAVE 484 00:30:29,194 --> 00:30:31,930 HIM A THUMBS UP AND KISSES HE SORT OF JUST GAVE ME A THUMBS 485 00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:35,033 UP BACK. HE WAS JUST DOING HIS THING. 486 00:30:35,033 --> 00:30:35,934 THEN MY BROTHER CAME TO STAY WITH ME. 487 00:30:35,934 --> 00:30:43,342 AND I WAS LIKE, DO YOU WANT TO DANCE IN THE PARK? 488 00:30:43,342 --> 00:30:45,944 SO WE EACH HAVE OUR HEADPHONES ON 489 00:30:45,944 --> 00:30:50,315 SO HE GOT HIS OWN HEADPHONES, I'VE GOT MINE, WE JUST GO TO THE 490 00:30:50,315 --> 00:30:57,756 PARK, THEN WE START DANCING. EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, EVEN THOUGH 491 00:30:57,756 --> 00:31:00,592 WE'RE DANCING SEPARATE BEATS ‐‐ >> Jimmy: HIT THE SAME GROOVE. 492 00:31:00,592 --> 00:31:02,994 >> THEN WE START DOING THE SAME MUSIC. 493 00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:06,098 I WENT BY MYSELF TODAY ‐‐ >> Jimmy: DID YOU GET ANY THUMBS 494 00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:09,534 UP, ANY KISSES BLOWN AT YOU? >> I'M TOO NERVOUS TO LOOK 495 00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:11,069 I JUST HAVE TO KEEP MY HEAD DOWN, JUST DO MY THING. 496 00:31:11,069 --> 00:31:16,208 >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE WAY I DANCE EVEN AT WEDDINGS 497 00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:20,912 NO ONE LOOK AT HOW BAD THIS IS. >> I DON'T GO TO WEDDINGS 498 00:31:20,912 --> 00:31:23,882 BECAUSE MY DANCING'S THAT BAD. >> Jimmy: LET'S TALK ABOUT "I 499 00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:27,919 MAY DESTROY YOU. WOW, IT'S FRESH, IT'S DIFFERENT, 500 00:31:27,919 --> 00:31:30,422 IT'S SO WELL DONE. CONGRATULATIONS. 501 00:31:30,422 --> 00:31:33,592 IT WAS A GREAT COVER IN "NEW YORK" MAGAZINE OF YOU. 502 00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:36,661 MAN, YOU LOOK SO COOL. IT WAS SUCH A STUNNING COVER 503 00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:41,166 CONGRATS ON THAT YOU ALSO WROTE THIS WHOLE THING, 504 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:42,134 EVERY EPISODE, NO WRITERS, YOU WROTE EVERYTHING. 505 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:43,635 >> YES. >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING 506 00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:48,473 THIS >> I GO AWAY AND I JUST SORT OF 507 00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:52,744 TYPE ON THE KEYPAD I DON'T PLAN 508 00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:56,648 LIKE I HAD LOADS OF DRAFTS, 20 DRAFTS OF EACH EPISODE 509 00:31:56,648 --> 00:32:03,321 I JUST KIND OF TYPE UNTIL IT MAKES SENSE. 510 00:32:03,321 --> 00:32:11,530 I HAVE A VERY DEDICATED TEAM, EXEC PRODUCERS AND ‐‐ THEY DON'T 511 00:32:11,530 --> 00:32:15,967 MAKE ANY SENSE GRAMMATICALLY, EDITORIALLY. 512 00:32:15,967 --> 00:32:20,806 IT LOOKS LIKE GOO‐GAH‐GOO. THEY TAKE IT AND, WOW, THIS IS 513 00:32:20,806 --> 00:32:22,774 VERY INTERESTING, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN 514 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:26,511 I SAY, IT MEANS THIS OKAY, GO BACK AND TRY AND WRITE 515 00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:28,580 DOWN WHAT YOU JUST SAID. I KEEP DOING THAT AND THEN WE 516 00:32:28,580 --> 00:32:33,718 HAVE THE SHOW. >> Jimmy: WOW. 517 00:32:33,718 --> 00:32:34,820 IT'S SEMI AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL, IF IMCORRECT? 518 00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:36,755 DO YOU WANT TO SET UP THE SHOW FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT 519 00:32:36,755 --> 00:32:41,927 IT IS? >> I CAN TRY TO SET UP THE SHOW. 520 00:32:41,927 --> 00:32:45,530 IT IS SEMI AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL. I BASED THE CHARACTER OF 521 00:32:45,530 --> 00:32:47,199 ARABELLA ON MYSELF, ESPECIALLY IN THE BEGINNING 522 00:32:47,199 --> 00:32:51,002 SHE'S A WRITER SHE TAKES A BREAK FROM WORK. 523 00:32:51,002 --> 00:32:53,505 SHE GOES OUT FOR A DRINK AND HER DRINK IS SPIKED AND SHE'S 524 00:32:53,505 --> 00:32:57,642 SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY A STRANGER 525 00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:01,480 SO THAT WAS THE INITIAL INSPIRATION WAS THAT CHARACTER 526 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:05,851 THEN I ASKED MANY MORE PEOPLE QUESTIONS AND REALIZED THAT SO 527 00:33:05,851 --> 00:33:11,323 MANY PEOPLE HAVE A STORY AROUND SEXUAL CONSENT 528 00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:16,127 SO I KIND OF HAVE THESE THREE ESSENTIAL CHARACTERS, KWAME, 529 00:33:16,127 --> 00:33:20,532 ARABELLA, AND KERRY. HOW CAN I SUM IT UP? 530 00:33:20,532 --> 00:33:23,335 THEN NAVIGATING SEXUAL LIFE AND THE LINE BETWEEN LIBERATION AND 531 00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:26,638 EXPLOITATION IT'S ALSO JUST ABOUT FRIENDSHIP 532 00:33:26,638 --> 00:33:31,209 AND ABOUT HOW WE THINK AND RELATE TO ONE ANOTHER TODAY AND 533 00:33:31,209 --> 00:33:33,512 HOW MUCH INTROSPECTION WE REALLY HAVE. 534 00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:38,984 >> Jimmy: I WAS IMPRESSED THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT AND ADDRESS 535 00:33:38,984 --> 00:33:42,687 THESE ISSUES, BUT ALSO BALANCE COMEDY WITH SERIOUSNESS. 536 00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:49,261 I WILL LET EVERYONE KNOW, IT IS FUNNY TOO. 537 00:33:49,261 --> 00:33:52,797 IT'S SO DIFFERENT AND WELL DONE. DO YOU THINK ABOUT LIKE, THIS 538 00:33:52,797 --> 00:33:55,200 NEEDS A JOKE >> NO, I DON'T 539 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:59,671 I DON'T EVER DO THAT, I JUST WRITE AND IT COMES OUT LIKE 540 00:33:59,671 --> 00:34:02,474 THAT I DON'T QUITE KNOW YET THE 541 00:34:02,474 --> 00:34:04,342 METHOD TO ‐‐ THE WAY IT COMES OUT. 542 00:34:04,342 --> 00:34:09,047 BUT I DO OFTEN GO BACK ‐‐ WHEN I TRY AND FIGURE OUT HOW THE TONE 543 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:13,285 EMERGED AS IT WAS, I THINK BACK TO MY OWN REALITY WHEN I WAS IN 544 00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:16,688 THE POLICE INVESTIGATION ROOM GETTING READY TO GIVE MY FIRST 545 00:34:16,688 --> 00:34:20,091 WITNESS STATEMENT. AND I SAT THERE SORT OF 546 00:34:20,091 --> 00:34:23,995 REALIZING THE COURSE OF MY LIFE WAS FOREVER GOING TO CHANGE. 547 00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:26,231 AND I WAS SORT OF REALIZING SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED 548 00:34:26,231 --> 00:34:29,467 MY FRIEND WAS TAKING CARE OF ME. AS I LOOKED TO HIM, I NOTICED HE 549 00:34:29,467 --> 00:34:36,708 WAS PLAYING POKEMON GO ON THE PHONE. 550 00:34:36,708 --> 00:34:38,143 AND THAT JUST ‐‐ JUST ‐‐ >> Jimmy: THAT'S REAL. 551 00:34:38,143 --> 00:34:39,644 THAT'S REAL. >> YES 552 00:34:39,644 --> 00:34:43,181 >> Jimmy: LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUSLY DOING? 553 00:34:43,181 --> 00:34:47,185 OH, WOW. >> LIKE, WHERE AM I? 554 00:34:47,185 --> 00:34:50,822 WHAT IS EVERYTHING >> Jimmy: YEAH, IS LIFE REAL 555 00:34:50,822 --> 00:34:53,291 YEAH. >> WHAT A SHOCKER. 556 00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:56,461 WHAT'S GOING ON? IT'S RAPE AND POKEMON GO 557 00:34:56,461 --> 00:34:59,798 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE TWO THINGS 558 00:34:59,798 --> 00:35:04,903 BUT HERE THEY ARE IN ONE ROOM. >> Jimmy: YEAH 559 00:35:04,903 --> 00:35:05,770 AND YOU MADE IT INTO A SHOW AND INTO ART 560 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:09,908 IT'S GREAT I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP 561 00:35:09,908 --> 00:35:13,845 HERE'S MICHAELA COEL IN "I MAY DESTROY YOU," LOOK. 562 00:35:13,845 --> 00:35:16,815 >> THIS IS THE SAME GUY, YES THAT TOLD YOU YOU HAD A DRUG 563 00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:20,418 PROBLEM. THEN SOLD YOU DRUGS. 564 00:35:20,418 --> 00:35:23,154 IN THE SAME BREATH >> IT WASN'T IN THE SAME BREATH. 565 00:35:23,154 --> 00:35:24,789 >> WHAT? >> IT WAS IN THE SAME NIGHT, 566 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:31,363 WHICH IS DIFFERENT. >> HE'S A HYPOCRITE. 567 00:35:31,363 --> 00:35:34,432 HE'S CONTROLLING LET ME CHECK THE RECOVERY TOOL 568 00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:37,902 BOOK SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE 569 00:35:37,902 --> 00:35:40,205 WHO AFFIRM YOU >> AND THAT'S ‐‐ YOU 570 00:35:40,205 --> 00:35:43,475 >> YES >> THAT'S YOU? 571 00:35:43,475 --> 00:35:47,846 >> YES, IT IS. >> YOU DO NOT AFFIRM ME WHEN I 572 00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:52,117 NEED AFFIRMATION THE MOST. SO I SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM 573 00:35:52,117 --> 00:35:55,954 CONTROLLING AND HYPOCRITICAL >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO MICHAELA 574 00:35:55,954 --> 00:36:00,325 COEL "I MAY DESTROY YOU" MONDAYS AT 575 00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:02,961 9:00 P. M. ON HBO YOU ARE AWESOME, THANKS FOR 576 00:36:02,961 --> 00:36:06,264 COMING ON MY SHOW. >> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. 577 00:36:06,264 --> 00:36:07,632 >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE FROM H. E. R., STAY 578 00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:08,254 AROUND, EVERYBODY! ♪ 579 00:36:20,045 --> 00:36:25,483 >> Jimmy: PERFORMING HER NEW SONG, "DO TO ME," HERE IS H. E. R. 580 00:36:31,056 --> 00:36:40,598 ♪ ♪ WAIT COME ON NO 581 00:36:40,598 --> 00:36:46,805 WHAT DID YOU DO TO M WAY PAST INFATUATION 582 00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:49,774 THIS CONNECTION ♪ ♪ THAT WE MAK 583 00:36:49,774 --> 00:36:54,579 MAKE AND BABE OH KEEPING ME U 584 00:36:54,579 --> 00:36:57,315 'TIL LATE ♪ ♪ IT'S ONLY CAUSE 585 00:36:57,315 --> 00:37:01,886 I CAN'T WAIT 'TI 'TIL YOU COME TO 586 00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:06,491 MY PLACE PLACE ♪ ♪ YOU SAY BYE BAB 587 00:37:06,491 --> 00:37:09,227 LET ME BE WRON ON MY MIND LIK 588 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:13,732 MY FAVORITE SONG ♪ ♪ PROMISE ME YOU WON' 589 00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:16,868 LEAVE ME ALONE NO NO NO 590 00:37:16,868 --> 00:37:18,403 CAUSE ♪ ♪ ALL THE THING 591 00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,038 YOU DO TO ME DO TO M DO TO ME 592 00:37:20,038 --> 00:37:24,409 DO TO ME YEAH ♪ ♪ ALL THE THING 593 00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:26,478 YOU DO TO ME DO TO ME DO TO M 594 00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:30,749 DO TO ME YEAH ♪ ♪ I LOVE THE WA 595 00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:32,817 YOU TOUCH ME HOLD ME MAKE M 596 00:37:32,817 --> 00:37:35,120 WANNA SING YEAH ♪ ♪ DRIVE ME CRAZ 597 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,189 WITH EVERYTHIN YOU DO TO ME 598 00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:40,258 DO TO ME ♪ ♪ DO TO M 599 00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:43,094 DO TO ME YEAH OH OH ♪ 600 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:48,833 ♪ WHY WHY YOU MAKE ME SO BLIND 601 00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:51,636 JUST LOOKING IN YOUR EYES YOU ♪ 602 00:37:51,636 --> 00:37:57,108 ♪ TOOK MY SOU FOR A RIDE RID 603 00:37:57,108 --> 00:38:01,813 HOW HOW YOU MAKE M FALL DOWN ♪ 604 00:38:01,813 --> 00:38:04,749 ♪ TRIPPING OVER THE SOUND OF 605 00:38:04,749 --> 00:38:10,221 YOU LOVING M SO LOUD LOUD ♪ 606 00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:13,158 ♪ YOU SAY BYE BAB LET ME BE WRON 607 00:38:13,158 --> 00:38:16,461 ON MY MIND LIK MY FAVORITE SONG ♪ 608 00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:19,764 ♪ PROMISE ME YO WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE 609 00:38:19,764 --> 00:38:22,834 NO NO NO CAUSE ♪ 610 00:38:22,834 --> 00:38:24,536 ♪ ALL THE THING YOU DO TO ME DO TO M 611 00:38:24,536 --> 00:38:28,907 DO TO ME DO TO ME YEAH ♪ 612 00:38:28,907 --> 00:38:30,208 ♪ ALL THE THING YOU DO TO ME 613 00:38:30,208 --> 00:38:35,346 DO TO ME DO TO M DO TO ME YEAH ♪ 614 00:38:35,346 --> 00:38:37,215 ♪ I LOVE THE WA YOU TOUCH ME 615 00:38:37,215 --> 00:38:39,517 HOLD ME MAKE M WANNA SING BOY ♪ 616 00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:42,587 ♪ DRIVE ME CRAZ WITH EVERYTHIN 617 00:38:42,587 --> 00:38:44,088 YOU DO TO ME DO TO ME ♪ 618 00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:45,757 ♪ DO TO M DO TO ME 619 00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:50,895 YEAH OH OH ♪ ♪ BUM BUM‐BUM 620 00:38:50,895 --> 00:38:54,732 BI‐DUM BUM‐BUM NONE LIKE YO 621 00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:57,669 WHERE'D YOU COME FROM ♪ ♪ GOT ME HOOKED 622 00:38:57,669 --> 00:39:03,775 I CAN'T GET ENOUGH ♪ ♪ BUM BUM‐BUM 623 00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:07,612 BI‐DUM BUM‐BUM NONE LIKE YO 624 00:39:07,612 --> 00:39:10,982 WHERE'D YOU COME FROM ♪ ♪ GOT ME HOOKED 625 00:39:10,982 --> 00:39:18,223 ON YOUR LOVE LOVE ♪ ♪ BUM BUM 626 00:39:18,223 --> 00:39:22,694 BUM‐BUM BI‐DUM BUM‐BU 627 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:25,997 BUM‐BUM BI‐DUM ♪ ♪ BUM‐BUM 628 00:39:25,997 --> 00:39:29,500 SAY WHAT'S U BUM‐BUM SA 629 00:39:29,500 --> 00:39:32,871 WHAT'S UP ♪ ♪ BUM‐BUM 630 00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:35,807 BUM‐BUM BI‐DUM BUM‐BU 631 00:39:35,807 --> 00:39:39,077 BUM‐BUM BI‐DUM ♪ ♪ BUM BUM 632 00:39:39,077 --> 00:39:41,713 HEY YEAH ♪ ♪ ALL THE THING 633 00:39:41,713 --> 00:39:43,781 YOU DO TO ME DO TO M DO TO ME 634 00:39:43,781 --> 00:39:48,052 DO TO ME YEAH ♪ ♪ ALL THE THING 635 00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:49,487 YOU DO TO ME DO TO ME DO TO M 636 00:39:49,487 --> 00:39:53,858 DO TO ME YEAH ♪ ♪ I LOVE THE WA 637 00:39:53,858 --> 00:39:56,361 YOU TOUCH ME HOLD ME MAKE M 638 00:39:56,361 --> 00:39:58,863 WANNA SING ♪ ♪ DRIVE ME CRAZ 639 00:39:58,863 --> 00:40:01,866 WITH EVERYTHIN YOU DO TO ME 640 00:40:01,866 --> 00:40:03,134 DO TO ME ♪ ♪ DO TO M 641 00:40:03,134 --> 00:40:07,171 DO TO ME YEAH OH OH ♪ 642 00:40:07,171 --> 00:40:11,109 ♪ >> Jimmy: THANK YOU TO H. E. R 643 00:40:11,109 --> 00:40:13,557 MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" WHEN WE COME BACK EVERYBODY. 644 00:40:26,207 --> 00:40:30,261 ♪ >> Jimmy: THANK YOU ALL FOR 645 00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:31,529 WATCHING STAY SAFE OUT THERE. 646 00:40:31,529 --> 00:40:33,431 WASH YOUR HANDS. DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE. 647 00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:34,966 WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY 648 00:40:34,966 --> 00:40:52,083 ♪ 54948

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