All language subtitles for Jimmy Fallon 2020 07 23 Will Arnett WEB h264 ROBOTS_track3_eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:21,788 >>> FROM ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S 2 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:24,858 "THE TONIGHT SHOW" STARRING JIMMY FALLON 3 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,828 JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS WILL ARNETT 4 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:31,465 MICHAELA COEL. H. E. R. THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW 5 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:44,211 AND NOW HERE'S YOUR HOST, JIMMY FALLON 6 00:00:55,355 --> 00:01:00,394 GUESTS, GOOD TO SEE YOU, GUYS. WELCOME BACK 7 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,462 THANK YOU, EVERYONE, FOR TUNING IN 8 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:05,666 WELCOME TO T"THE TONIGHT SHOW." LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS 9 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,468 EVERYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT THIS. YESTERDAY PRESIDENT TRUMP DID AN 10 00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:13,407 INTERVIEW ON FOX NEWS WHERE HE AGAIN TRIED TO DEFEND HIS OWN 11 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,809 MENTAL FITNESS BY EXPLAINING THE COGNITIVE TEST THAT HE TOOK, 12 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:20,180 WATCH THIS. >> 30 OR 35 QUESTIONS. 13 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:27,287 I LIKE A MEMORY QUESTION IT'S LIKE YOU'LL GO PERSON, 14 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,957 WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV SO LET'S SAY COULD YOU REPEAT 15 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:35,262 THAT SO IT'S PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, 16 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,931 IF YOU GET IT IN ORDER, YOU GET EXTRA POINTS 17 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,968 OKAY, NOW HE'S ASKING YOU OTHER QUESTIONS. 18 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:44,237 GIVE US THAT AGAIN PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV 19 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:54,815 IT'S ACTUALLY NOT THAT EASY, BUT FOR ME IT WAS EASY 20 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:57,985 >> Jimmy: WE COULD HAVE SHOWN YOU MORE BUT OUR SHOW IS ONLY AN 21 00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:00,954 HOUR WHAT IS HE DOING 22 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:04,658 IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE PLAYING CHARADES AFTER POUNDING 23 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:07,060 CHARDONNAY MAN, CAMERA, WOMAN, IS IT A 24 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,796 BOOK, IS IT A MOVIE? I ACTUALLY FEEL A LOT BETTER 25 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:13,967 KNOWING THAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES PASSED 26 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,137 CONCUSSION PROTOCOL. IT WAS IMPRESSIVE UNTIL THEY 27 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:21,508 ASKED TRUMP WHAT HE ATE FOR LUNCH THAT DAY AND HE SAID, 28 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:27,714 "PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV." 29 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,383 I WISH WE COULD SEE TRUMP ANSWER SOME OF THE QUESTIONS IN WRITTEN 30 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:34,388 PORTIONS, BECAUSE I KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. 31 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:38,759 YEAH, THAT'S IT. THE ONLY FIVE NAMES TRUMP 32 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:46,767 COULDN'T REMEMBER WERE HIS KIDS. I WANT TO SAY HARRY, ZAYN, 33 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,702 NIALL, CAMERA, TV. HE WAS BEING INTERVIEWED BY ONE 34 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:53,206 OF FOX NEWS'S TOP MEDICAL CONTRIBUTORS DR. MARK SEGAL. 35 00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:55,509 CAN WE SEE HIS FACE WHEN TRUMP WAS TALKING? 36 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:59,346 YOU CAN TELL HE WAS THINKING, IS HE HAVING A STROKE, OR AM I? 37 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,281 YEAH TRUMP REALLY SEEMED OBSESSED 38 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:04,117 WITH THOSE FIVE WORDS. IT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE IT TURNS 39 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,019 OUT HE SPENT A LOT OF TIME STUDYING FOR THE TEST, CHECK 40 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,621 THIS OUT. >> CAN YOU HELP US 41 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:11,558 >> YEAH. >> CAN YOU SAY ‐ 42 00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:17,931 >> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV 43 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,901 >> SO IT'S PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV 44 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,970 >> HOORAY! >> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, 45 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:28,842 TV >> AGAIN 46 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:33,980 >> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV 47 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:40,420 >> ONE MORE TIME >> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, 48 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:45,459 TV >> HE DID IT, WE DID IT, YAY 49 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:51,832 >> BECAUSE I'M DOCOGNITIVELY THERE. 50 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:56,803 >> Jimmy: WE DID IT! WE DID IT! 51 00:03:56,803 --> 00:04:00,440 LISTEN TO THIS EARLIER TODAY JOE BIDEN RELEASED 52 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,376 A VIDEO WHERE HE SAT DOWN WITH FORMER PRESIDENT OBAMA 53 00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:06,780 THEY TALKED ABOUT A RANGE OF ISSUES LIKE HEALTH CARE, THE 54 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,515 ECONOMY, AND OF COURSE THE COVID PANDEMIC 55 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,017 YOU CAN TELL THEY'RE TAKING COVID SERIOUSLY BECAUSE OF HOW 56 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,786 FAR APART THEY SAT FOR THE INTERVIEWS 57 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:17,691 THIS IS REAL, TAKE A LOOK. WOW. 58 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:23,497 WOW. OBAMA HASN'T DISTANCED HIMSELF 59 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:27,100 FROM BIDEN LIKE THAT SINCE THE FIRST TEN DEMOCRATIC DEBATE. 60 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,270 USUALLY IN A MEETING THIS FAR APART, ONE PERSON IS STROKING A 61 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:35,509 CAT WHILE THE OTHER IS BEING LOWERED INTO A BARRACUDA TANK. 62 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:38,345 LAST TIME YOU LAUGH WITH ME, MR. BOND 63 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,881 SPORTS NEWS, EARLIER TONIGHT MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL MADE ITS 64 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,383 OFFICIAL RETURN, AND IT'S CLEAR THIS SEASON'S GOING TO LOOK 65 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:47,420 PRETTY DIFFERENT. >> STADIUM SEATS WILL BE EMPTY, 66 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,390 REPLACED IN SOME CITIES BY CARDBOARD CUTOUTS. 67 00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:53,326 CELEBRATIONS WILL BE DISTANCED COACHES WILL BE MASKED 68 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,163 >> Jimmy: YEAH, BASEBALL IS BACK 69 00:04:56,163 --> 00:05:02,936 OR AS THE PRESIDENT PUT IT ‐‐ BAT, GLOVE, BALL, HOT DOGS, TV 70 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:06,339 FANS HAVE TO STAY HOME, BUT IF YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE 71 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:10,177 THERE, SPEND 40 BUCKS ON POPCORN AND HAVE YOUR KIDS SPILL HALF OF 72 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,913 IT ON THE FLOOR. THE NBA HAS SEALED EVERYONE IN A 73 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:17,284 BUBBLE IN ONE LOCATION, MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL IS JUST LIKE, 74 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:21,755 LET'S SEE HOW THIS GOES, BABY! THIS IS INTERESTING, THOUGH. 75 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:25,592 FOX ANNOUNCED THAT THEY'RE GOING TO SHOW CGI FANS IN THE STANDS 76 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,428 YEAH THAT WILL BE WEIRD WHEN A 77 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:34,000 PITCHER GETS HECKLE BY THE CAST OF "TOY STORY. 78 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,572 I DON'T ‐‐ I DON'T ‐‐ >> YEAH, LET IT GO, LET IT GO. 79 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,874 LET IT GO. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 80 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:46,012 WELL ‐‐ ALL RIGHT. HERE ‐‐ LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT 81 00:05:46,012 --> 00:06:00,460 HERE >> OH, MAN 82 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:04,197 >> Jimmy: DUST OFF THE OLD CLIFF CLAVEN IMPERSONATION 83 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,732 WASHINGTON'S NFL TEAM ANNOUNCED A TEMPORARY NAME FOR THIS 84 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,801 SEASON. >> THIS JUST IN, BASICALLY 85 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:11,805 WASHINGTON IS GOING TO GO WITH AN INTERIM NAME DURING THE 2020 86 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:16,743 SEASON IT WILL CALL ITSELF THE 87 00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:21,548 WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM >> HA HA HA! 88 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:26,786 >> Jimmy: WHAT THAT'S WHAT THEY CAME UP WITH? 89 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:31,157 THAT NAME SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE TRYING TO TALK ABOUT SPORTS WHO 90 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:34,561 KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT SPORTS I LOVE THE ‐‐ WASHINGTON ‐‐ 91 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:39,165 FOOTBALL ‐‐ TEAM OF COURSE I LOVE THE NEW YORK ‐‐ 92 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,234 HOCKEY ‐‐ CLUB ‐‐ TEAM TOO WHAT'S A GOOD NAME 93 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:48,008 THE WASHINGTON ‐‐ THE ‐‐ CHERRY BLOSSOMS 94 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:52,145 MAYBE IT IS HARD, I DON'T KNOW. >> HOW ABOUT THE ‐‐ IS THERE A 95 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,680 TEAM THE CAP ‐‐ THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS 96 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,115 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THERE IS A TEAM, A GREAT TEAM. 97 00:06:55,115 --> 00:07:00,020 >> YEAH, GREAT, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. 98 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:04,190 >> Jimmy: WASHINGTON CAPITALS 2. >> WASHINGTON CAPITALS PART 2. 99 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:07,127 >> Jimmy: DUDE YEAH, EXACTLY FINALLY, YOU GUYS, YESTERDAY 100 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,429 THERE WAS A CRAZY STORM HERE IN NEW YORK 101 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,765 SOMEONE CAPTURED A PRETTY AMAZING MOMENT AT THE STATUE OF 102 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:19,005 LIBERTY, LOOK AT THIS. WHOA 103 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:22,542 OKAY WORST CASE, THIS DAMAGED THE 104 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:25,278 STATUE OF LIBERTY. BEST CASE, WE FREAKY FRIDAY WITH 105 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,447 CANADA I'M ACTUALLY A LITTLE WORRIED 106 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:32,585 BECAUSE EVER SINCE THAT HAPPENED, THE ONLY THING THE 107 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:35,121 STATUE OF LIBERTY CAN SAY IS, "PERSON, WOMAN, MASK." 108 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:39,159 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT, WILL ARNETT IS HERE 109 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:43,663 MICHAELA COEL IS HERE. AND SHE HAS OVER 7.5 BILLION 110 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:44,431 STREAMS, H. E. R. WILL BE 111 00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:49,336 PERFORMING GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 112 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:58,278 ♪ ♪ 113 00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:01,247 >> Jimmy: OH, MAN OH MAN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE HERE. 114 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:06,486 I GOT TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, THIS IS BIZARRE. 115 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,655 AFTER THE SHOW I GOT HOME. YOU KNOW, PRETTY LATE, READY TO 116 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,058 GO TO SLEEP. I WANTED TO GET IN THE CHRISTMAS 117 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:15,228 SPIRIT BECAUSE ‐‐ WELL, BECAUSE I HAVE 118 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:21,134 A ‐‐ I HAVE A KIDS' BOOK A CHILDREN'S BOOK COMING OUT 119 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,738 I'M THINKING ABOUT DOING SOMETHING AROUND THE BOOK. 120 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:28,241 I WANTED TO LOOK AT A ‐‐ PUT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE ON 121 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,977 SO I SEARCHED APPLE TV OR NETFLIX OR SOMETHING, LOOKING 122 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:35,148 FOR A MOVIE. THE FIRST THAT COMES UP IS 123 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,750 "CHRISTMAS PEN PAL." A LIFETIME, YOU KNOW, ONE OF 124 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:41,354 THOSE MOVIES I LOVE THOSE MOVIES. 125 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,390 I LOVE THE MUSHY, ROMANTIC, THE CORNY, I'M ALL OF THAT, I LOVE 126 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:46,493 IT I PUT THIS THING ON, THIS MOVIE. 127 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:51,231 IT'S GREAT I'M WATCHING IT. 128 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,533 AND IT'S SARAH DREW, WHO WAS ON "GREY'S ANATOMY," SHE'S GREAT, I 129 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,637 LOVED IT ACTING WAS GOOD. 130 00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:03,109 MICHAEL GROSS WHO IS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME, "FAMILY TIES." 131 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:06,279 WATCHING THE MOVIE KIND OF GETTING READY TO GO TO 132 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:09,115 SLEEP, THEN THIS COMES UP. >> OH‐OH. 133 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,418 >> THEN I GET AN OFFER ON THE APARTMENT, INSANELY OVER ASKING 134 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,419 PRICE, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO THE BUYER WAS. 135 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:15,889 JIMMY FALLON. >> NO WAY! 136 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,025 I LOVE HIM >> OH, HE'S GREAT, HE'S GREAT. 137 00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:22,796 REALLY SHY, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT 138 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:26,199 >> Jimmy: WAIT, WHAT THE MOVIE'S FROM 2018. 139 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,468 I'D NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE, I DID NOT PICK THIS THING. 140 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:30,670 I WAS WATCHING THIS LIKE FREAKING OUT 141 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,305 THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE EITHER ‐‐ MAYBE I DIED 142 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,574 I DON'T KNOW MAYBE LIFE ISN'T REAL? 143 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:41,381 I GO, WHAT DID I JUST HEAR MY NAME? 144 00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:42,682 SO I'M IN THIS "CHRISTMAS PEN PAL. 145 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:50,657 IT'S ABOUT A SMALL TOWN, THEY HAVE LIKE ‐‐ YOU DON'T WANT TO 146 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:54,828 HEAR THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE A SMALL TOWN, ALL THE SINGLE 147 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,664 PEOPLE PUT THEIR NAMES, LIKE PEN NAMES, THEY WRITE LOVE LETTERS 148 00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:58,665 TO EACH OTHER, HOPING TO FIND LOVE. 149 00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,167 >> LETTERS 2018 150 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,570 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH A SMALL TOWN, YEAH 151 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,972 A POST OFFICE AND EVERYTHING, THE MAILMAN. 152 00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:08,575 HE'S SINGLE, HE CAN GET INVOLVED 153 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:12,512 SHE HAS A PEN NAME, STARDUST SOME OTHER PERSON HAS A NAME 154 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:16,950 YOU DON'T KNOW WHO ‐‐ KIND OF SECRET SANTA, CALLED CHRISTMAS 155 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,752 CUPID. THAT'S NOT THE NAME, IT'S CALLED 156 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,821 "CHRISTMAS PEN PAL." ANYWAY 157 00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:27,293 THAT COMES ON AND THE GUY'S LIKE, YEAH, I SOLD AN OVERPRICED 158 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,330 APARTMENT, GUESS WHO, JIMMY FALLON 159 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,099 HE SUCKERED ME INTO BUYING AN APARTMENT. 160 00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:35,902 THEN NICE GUY, I LOVE JIMMY. SHE SAID, I LOVE HIM TOO 161 00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:42,242 HE GOES, HE'S ACTUALLY SHY IN PERSON 162 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,645 I COULD BE SHY, SARAH. WHY CAN'T I BE ‐‐ ANYWAY, THE 163 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,381 WHOLE POINT OF ME BRINGING THIS UP, LIFETIME, IF YOU'RE 164 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:52,218 WATCHING, IF YOU EVER WANT TO USE MY NAME, EVER, FOR SOME 165 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:56,789 CASUAL BACKGROUND CONVERSATION OR WHATEVER, AMBIENT NOISE OVER 166 00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:59,859 DINNER, YOU HAVE MORE THAN ANY PERMISSION, PLEASE PUT IT IN 167 00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:03,229 EVERY HOLIDAY MOVIE. YOU KNOW WHO I JUST SOLD THIS 168 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:06,666 TREE TO? JIMMY FALLON 169 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,967 300 BUCKS, I RIPPED HIM OFF, UNBELIEVABLE 170 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:11,671 HEY, HE'S PRETTY SHY IN PERSON I LOVED IT 171 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,840 I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A BIZARRE THING. 172 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,910 I HAD TO TALK ABOUT IT I WAS LIKE, THIS STUFF THAT 173 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,546 HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME, JUST WEIRD STUFF. 174 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,481 LIKE "THE TRUMAN SHOW" OR SOMETHING. 175 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,017 THE TV, IS IT WATCHING ME? >> CRAZY, MAN. 176 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,085 >> Jimmy: IT'S THE END OF THE WEEK 177 00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:30,123 I WANT TO CATCH YOU UP WITH PERSONAL STUFF, CHECK MY INBOX, 178 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,658 EMAILS, I SEND OUT THANK YOU NOTES. 179 00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,727 I WAS RUNNING A BIT BEHIND IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND, I'D LIKE 180 00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,462 TO WRITE THANK YOU NOTES RIGHT NOW. 181 00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:44,237 CAN I GET THANK YOU NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE? 182 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,171 ♪ >> Jimmy: YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE 183 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:52,312 WHO I RIPPED OFF. >> WHO 184 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,714 >> Jimmy: CHILI SAL, I LOVED IT, IT WAS GOOD, MAN 185 00:11:54,714 --> 00:12:00,420 I WAS GOING TO WATCH THE SEQUEL ‐‐ I'LL STOP TALKING. 186 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,690 THERE WAS A SEQUEL CALLED "CHRISTMAS A LA MODE 187 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:10,029 IT WASN'T A SEQUEL, IT WAS A GUESS HOY JUST SOLD THE DESSERT 188 00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,364 TO THREE SCOOPS, I WAS LAUGHING THE 189 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,234 WHOLE TIME ♪ 190 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:19,772 POWERFUL, POWERFULLY LOUD ON THAT ONE, WOW. 191 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:23,476 ♪ THANK YOU, TAYLOR SWIFT SURPRISE 192 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:27,747 2020 ALBUM, DROPPING AT MIDNIGHT, BEING THE FIRST TIME 193 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:32,118 HEARING SURPRISE AND 2020 IN THE SAME SENTENCE HASN'T MADE US ALL 194 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:37,690 FLINCH ♪ 195 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,960 THANK YOU, TACO BELL, FOR RETIRING YOUR SEVEN‐LAYER 196 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,930 BURRITO. NOW IF I WANT RICE, BEANS, 197 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,232 TOMATOES, LETTUCE, SOUR CREAM, AND CHEESE, I'LL JUST HAVE TO 198 00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:55,074 ORDER LITERALLY ANY OTHER MENU ITEM 199 00:12:55,074 --> 00:13:00,847 ♪ THANK YOU, JOE BIDEN, FOR 200 00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:03,716 CALLING TRUMP THE FIRST RACIST PRESIDENT. 201 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:09,389 OR AS NEARLY ANY OTHER PRESIDENT WOULD PUT IT, YES, THE FIRST 202 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:15,395 ONE. ♪ 203 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:20,233 THANK YOU, SOCIALLY DISTANCED SEASON OF "THE BACHELORETTE" FOR 204 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:24,704 MAKING ABOUT AS MUCH SEASON AS A DRY SEASON OF "THE JERSEY 205 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,740 SHORE. WELL, BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT ‐‐ YOU 206 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:32,545 KNOW BUT THEY MIGHT 207 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:36,816 BUT THEY MIGHT THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO 208 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:44,357 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: GOOD POINT 209 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,427 ♪ PEOPLE LOVE PEOPLE SO WHY SHOULD IT BE ♪ 210 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:53,700 ♪ YOU AND I SHOULD GET ALONG HM HM ♪ 211 00:13:53,700 --> 00:14:08,981 >> HA HA HA! ♪ 212 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:09,782 >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, JUST STOP. ♪ 213 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,050 ♪ ♪ ♪ 214 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:15,088 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, DRIVE‐IN MOVIE THEATERS, FOR LETTING US 215 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:19,258 WATCH MOVIES THE FILMMAKERS INTENDED, THROUGH A CRACKED 216 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:26,399 WINDSHIELD COVERED IN BIRD POOP. THINK IT'S A SHARK 217 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,868 ♪ >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, FAKE CROWD 218 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,636 NOISE AT MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAMES. 219 00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:34,774 GEEZ, HOW INSECURE ARE THOSE PLAYERS THAT THEY NEED 220 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:41,114 ARTIFICIAL AUDIENCE SOUNDS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 221 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,315 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT 222 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:49,989 REAL CROWD, FAKE, I DON'T CARE, BASEBALL IS BACK, Y'ALL. 223 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:54,360 I LIKE THAT, ACTUALLY. BASEBALL IS BACK, Y'ALL. 224 00:14:54,360 --> 00:15:00,833 QWEST, CAN I GET A BEAT? ♪ ONE TWO THREE FOUR ♪ 225 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:05,304 ♪ BASEBALL IS BACK Y'ALL ♪ ♪ I SAID BASEBALL IS BACK 226 00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:14,580 Y'ALL ♪ ♪ GREEN MONSTER 37 FEET TALL ♪ 227 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,084 ♪ GOT TO SNAP BACK IT'S AT THE MALL ♪ 228 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:26,159 ♪ FAUCI THREW THE FIRST PITCH ♪ ♪ EATING ICE CREAM OUT A LITTLE 229 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:31,764 HELMET ♪ ♪ FOUR BALLS MEANS YOU WALK ♪ 230 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:38,971 ♪ AND SO DOES THAT TRAP CALL ♪ ♪ CATCHERS AND PITCH ERS 231 00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:42,675 PINCH‐HITTERS ♪ ♪ I DANCE OFF WITH MASCOTS BUT 232 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:45,411 NOT WITH A MASK OFF ♪ ♪ BECAUSE BASEBALL IS BACK 233 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:52,852 Y'ALL ♪ ♪ SAID BASEBALL IS BACK Y'ALL ♪ 234 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:57,657 ♪ WOW WOW WOW ♪ >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK 235 00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:01,160 WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY! 236 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:06,199 ♪ BASEBALL IS BACK IT'S BACK IT'S BACK IT'S REALLY BACK ♪ 237 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:06,532 ♪ IT'S BACK ♪ 238 00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:20,546 >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN 239 00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:23,950 EXECUTIVE PRODUCER ON THE NEW ANIMATED SHOW CALLED "YOUR DAILY 240 00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:29,188 HOROSCOPE" WHICH YOU CAN SEE FIVE NIGHTS A WEEK ON QUIBI. 241 00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:34,427 HE ALSO HOSTS A NEW PODCAST ALONGSIDE JASON BATEMAN AND SEAN 242 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,396 HAYES CALLED "SMARTLESS. MY FRIEND WILL ARNETT, NICE TO 243 00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:40,600 SEE YOU, BUD, I MISS YOU. >> GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, MAN. 244 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,534 >> Jimmy: CONGRATS, YOU HAVE A NEW BABY BOY 245 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,571 >> I KNOW. I JUST FOUND OUT 246 00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:49,642 >> Jimmy: SORRY. I DIDN'T RUIN IT, DID I? 247 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:53,346 >> NO, NO, I JUST FOUND ‐‐ NO, NO, IT WAS SO ‐‐ I JUST MET HIM 248 00:16:53,346 --> 00:17:03,956 UPSTAIRS, I'M IN THE BASEMENT. >> Jimmy: DO YOU GET ALONG 249 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:04,857 >> I WAS LIKE, HEY, WHO'S THIS LITTLE GUY 250 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:05,925 WE GET ALONG GREAT YEAH WE JUST HAD OUR LITTLE GUY, 251 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,894 DENNY ALEXANDER, WE CALL HIM ‐‐ DENNIS, WE CALL HIM DENNY. 252 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:08,995 >> Jimmy: NOT AFTER THE ‐‐ >> NOT AFTER THE FAST FOOD 253 00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:15,101 CHAIN. >> Jimmy: WHY NOT? 254 00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:18,804 >> EVERYBODY ‐‐ EVERYBODY WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT I'M A FAN OF 255 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:21,007 THE GRAND SLAM BREAKFAST. >> Jimmy: ME TOO 256 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,943 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I DON'T THINK I'VE 257 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:24,744 EVER HAD A BAD TIME AT A DENNY'S. 258 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:27,680 >> I DON'T THINK ‐‐ I DON'T THINK I HAVE EITHER. 259 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:32,151 >> Jimmy: I LOVE ‐‐ IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH DENNY, BUT 260 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,654 WHY NOT? PUT HIM IN A COUPLE COMMERCIALS. 261 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:42,428 >> YOU KNOW WHY? THE PRICE HASN'T BEEN RIGHT YET. 262 00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,397 >> Jimmy: OH MY GOSH HOW IS IT? 263 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:49,101 IS IT WEIRD, IS IT DIFFERENT I MEAN, ARCHIE AND ABEL ARE HOW 264 00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:53,573 OLD NOW? >> THEY'RE 9 AND 11. 265 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,842 11 AND 9 AND THEY ‐‐ THEY'RE SUPER 266 00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:59,378 PSYCHED TO BE BIG BROTHERS AND IT'S BEEN CRAZY. 267 00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:02,982 BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN RIGHT NOW. 268 00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:06,252 SO IT'S BEEN WEIRD ANYWAY. I FEEL LIKE BEING IN THIS SORT 269 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:09,655 OF QUARANTINE HAS PREPARED ME. BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE. 270 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:13,459 THOSE FIRST FEW MONTHS OF HAVING A BABY ARE KIND OF LIKE BEING IN 271 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:16,662 QUARANTINE ANYWAY. YOU KIND OF LOCK DOWN. 272 00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:21,267 >> Jimmy: YEAH. >> THAT'S HOW I FELT ANYWAY, AND 273 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:25,171 IT'S JUST BECOME DOUBLE THAT, SO IT'S BEEN OKAY 274 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:28,240 I FEEL LIKE ALEC BALDWIN IN "HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER. 275 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,542 I FEEL LIKE THE CAPTAIN OF A SUBMARINE. 276 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,044 >> Jimmy: STUCK IN THE SUBMARINE, YEAH. 277 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:35,881 >> IN A SUBMARINE YOU CAN'T BE LIKE, I'M GOING TO RUN OUT FOR A 278 00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,850 PACK OF BUD. CAN'T DO THAT. 279 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,152 IN A SUBMARINE. >> Jimmy: NO, YOU HAVE TO BE 280 00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:42,121 THERE. >> I DO HAVE MY BOOTH HERE, 281 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,724 WHICH IS GOOD. I HAVE MY SOUNDPROOF BOOTH HERE 282 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,693 AT HOME. >> Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO ASK 283 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,762 THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL BOOTH YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR 284 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:53,833 A LONG TIME. >> YEAH, I HANDCRAFTED ‐‐ I JUST 285 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,869 GOT THE CARPETING IN IT'S REALLY NICE. 286 00:18:56,869 --> 00:19:00,139 >> Jimmy: I WATCHED ‐‐ YOUR OTHER SHOW, "BUILDING A BOOTH. 287 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,976 >> YOU DID WATCH IT. >> Jimmy: WELL ‐‐ YEAH 288 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,845 SURE YES. 289 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,014 >> I SENT YOU THE LINKS, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO PROMO IT 290 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,750 ON THE SHOW. >> Jimmy: SO HARD WITH THE WI‐FI 291 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,385 AND EVERYTHING, I CAN'T ‐‐ YOU KNOW. 292 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,486 >> THAT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD ANSWER 293 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:18,724 SO ANYWAY. >> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, "BATMAN" 294 00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:22,561 IS ON ROTATION AT MY HOUSE YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST 295 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,864 YOU ARE PERFECTLY ACTED IN THAT MOVIE. 296 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,066 YOU DID SUCH A GREAT JOB I KNOW I PROBABLY TOLD YOU THAT 297 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,902 ALREADY. IT WAS SO PERFECTLY DONE, SO 298 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:33,272 CONGRATS YOU WERE BATMAN IN OUR HOUSE. 299 00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,775 >> LET ME JUST SAY THANKS. >> Jimmy: OH MY GOSH. 300 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:39,178 >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I GOT THE MIC, MIGHT AS WELL. 301 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:43,015 >> Jimmy: DO YOU GET PAID FOR THAT, WHAT YOU JUST DID, OR NO 302 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,316 >> I DON'T GET PAID FOR JACK [ BLEEP ]. 303 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,385 >> Jimmy: THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE MOVIE. 304 00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:50,656 >> THAT SHOULD HAVE. IT WAS, IT WAS IN THE OUTTAKES 305 00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:52,391 IT WAS CALLED "BATMAN AFTER DARK." 306 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:55,127 >> Jimmy: THE BLUE VERSION YOU HAVE TWO PROJECTS. 307 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:58,130 YOU COULDN'T BE BUSIER. >> TWO NEW PROJECTS, WHICH HAS 308 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:02,902 BEEN REALLY AWESOME. WE'VE GOT THIS THING, "YOUR 309 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:06,505 DAILY HOROSCOPE," OVER ON QUIBI, A FUN WAY TO GET YOUR HOROSCOPE. 310 00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:08,240 PEOPLE LOVE GETTING THEIR HOROSCOPE. 311 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,077 >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT, I ALWAYS HAVE. 312 00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,511 >> ON OUR SHOW WE ANIMATE ‐‐ EVERY DAY IS LITTLE SHORT 313 00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:16,215 ANIMATIONS FOR EVERY SIGN. IT'S REALLY A FUN WAY TO GET IT. 314 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,517 YOU KIND OF FOLLOW ALONG WITH ALL THESE DIFFERENT ANIMALS THAT 315 00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:21,253 REPRESENT THE SIGN AND I JUST FIGURED PEOPLE LIKE 316 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:24,557 TO HAVE FUN. I THINK ‐‐ I THINK I'M RIGHT 317 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,927 ABOUT THAT >> Jimmy: WE POLLED ‐‐ WE POLLED 318 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:32,098 OUR AUDIENCE >> YOU DON'T HAVE AN AUDIENCE. 319 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,966 JIMMY, LISTEN. LET ME GET AN ADDRESS ON YOU, A 320 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,468 HARD STREET ADDRESS. LET ME JUST ‐‐ 321 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:40,272 >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE THE TILE APP? 322 00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:45,311 BECAUSE IF YOU'RE CLOSE TO ME, YOUR PHONE WILL BEEP 323 00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:51,117 >> OH, I'M GOING TO GET THE TILE APP, GOOD IDEA 324 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:54,153 DON'T GIVE ME A P. O. BOX I TRY TO GET ADDRESSES AND THEY 325 00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:57,990 GIVE ME ‐‐ YOU KNOW THIS STORY FRED ARMISEN USED TO DO IT 326 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:02,128 SOMEBODY WOULD COME ON "SNL," THE BIGGER THE HOST, LIKE TOM 327 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:05,898 CRUISE, DAY ONE, HE'D GO UP TO THEM, LET ME GET YOUR CELL PHONE 328 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:09,368 REAL QUICK >> Jimmy: I SAW KEVIN NEALON DO 329 00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:12,204 A GOOD ONE THAT I WANTED TO STEAL. 330 00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,273 HE WAS TALKING TO SANDLER OR SOMEBODY 331 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,274 HE GOES, SANDLER, GIVE ME A CALL 332 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,444 I DON'T HAVE YOUR NUMBER, GIVE ME A NUMBER. 333 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,280 PULLED A PEN OUT, HE HAD A TOOTHPICK, HE PULLED THE PEN 334 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,115 LIKE HE WAS GOING TO WRITE IT ON A TOOTHPICK. 335 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:28,587 HE GOES, JUST GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER, WHAT IS IT 336 00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:31,657 WHAT'S THE PODCAST WITH SEAN HAYES AND JASON BATEMAN? 337 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:33,526 HOW'D THAT COME ABOUT? >> THOSE TWO CLOWNS. 338 00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:38,798 THEY WEDGED THEIR WAY INTO MY IDEA 339 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,433 AND I WAS LIKE ‐‐ I WANT TO DO A PODCAST, AND THEY WERE LIKE, 340 00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:45,304 GREAT, LET'S DO ONE. NO, I'M DOING A PODCAST. 341 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,406 THEY'RE LIKE, RIGHT, WE'RE DOING ONE. 342 00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:50,676 WHAT HAPPENED WAS, I JUST THOUGHT, I AM DOING ANOTHER 343 00:21:50,676 --> 00:21:52,745 PODCAST ON MY OWN THAT'S COMING OUT. 344 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:57,449 I WAS LIKE, I WANT TO DO THIS WITH MY BUDDIES AND HAVE FUN 345 00:21:57,449 --> 00:22:00,619 THEY'RE OLD FRIENDS. FIND OUT STUFF ABOUT PEOPLE THAT 346 00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:05,224 WE KNOW OR THAT WE DON'T KNOW, JUST HAVE A LAUGH. 347 00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,525 KIND OF EXACTLY WHAT IT ENDED UP BEING. 348 00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:09,595 THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING. THE FIRST EPISODE CAME OUT ON 349 00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:14,867 MONDAY WE HAD OUR BUDDY DAX SHEPARD ON. 350 00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:16,902 I HOPE YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED YOUR NUMBER BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO 351 00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:20,639 ASK YOU. THERE'S NOB BETTER THAN GETTING 352 00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:22,808 THE "COME ON OUR PODCAST" QUESTION, YOU KNOW 353 00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:24,243 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW MY NUMBER. >> SURE. 354 00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,778 >> Jimmy: 4. >> 4 355 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,513 IS IT STILL 4? >> Jimmy: YEP. 356 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:28,514 >> OKAY. HANG ON. 357 00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:34,286 >> Jimmy: NO PROBLEM. >> I WANT TO DING YOU REAL 358 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:35,154 QUICK. >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S 359 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,122 AROUND ANYMORE I WOULD LIKE TO PLAY A GAME WHEN 360 00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:42,695 WE COME BACK HAVE YOU HEARD OF "HEY, ROBOT? 361 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,663 >> YEAH, YOU SUMMON A PASSING ROBOT. 362 00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:46,665 HEY, ROBOT, COME HERE, WE GOT TO TALK TO YOU. 363 00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:48,567 >> Jimmy: THE RULES HAVE CHANGED. 364 00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:50,603 I'LL EXPLAIN IN THE COMMERCIAL BREAK. 365 00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:55,297 MORE WITH WILL ARNETT WHEN WE COME BACK, EVERYBODY 366 00:23:02,968 --> 00:23:05,918 ♪ >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, 367 00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:08,988 EVERYBODY. HANGING OUT WITH WILL ARNETT 368 00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:15,661 WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY A GAME CALLED "HEY, ROBOT." 369 00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:17,296 ♪ HEY ROBOT HEY ROBOT ♪ >> Jimmy: THIS IS BASED ON A 370 00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:21,367 REAL BOARD GAME. THIS IS LIKE YOUR CLASSIC GAME 371 00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:25,271 "PASSWORD" BUT YOUR PARTNER IS A SMART SPEAKER. 372 00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:28,774 I'LL PICK A CARD, WE'LL TAKE TURNS ASKING A QUESTION TO GET 373 00:23:28,774 --> 00:23:34,113 THE SPEAKER TO SAY THE WORD SOMEWHERE IN ITS ANSWER. 374 00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:36,415 IF IT DOES, WE GET A POINT I WILL GO FIRST. 375 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,718 ALL RIGHT. CORN DOG 376 00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,687 CORN DOG IS THE WORD >> CORN DOG. 377 00:23:41,687 --> 00:23:44,723 >> Jimmy: CORN DOG. >> GOT IT. 378 00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:50,195 >> Jimmy: ALEXA, WHAT DO YOU CALL A HOT DOG DIPPED IN BATTER? 379 00:23:50,195 --> 00:23:55,000 >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND ON THE WEB. 380 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:59,271 ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA.ORG, IF SERVED WITH A STICK IT IS 381 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:02,541 REFERRED TO AS A HOT DOG AND USUALLY DIPPED IN A GENEROUS 382 00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:06,812 AMOUNT OF TOMATO SAUCE AND SERVED IMMEDIATELY ‐‐ 383 00:24:06,812 --> 00:24:08,681 >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. 384 00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:11,650 WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? I SAID HOT DOG DIPPED IN ‐‐ 385 00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:14,353 WHATEVER THIS IS YOUR TURN, YOU TALK TO 386 00:24:14,353 --> 00:24:18,390 THE THING, I CAN'T EVEN DO IT. >> HEY, MAN, TAKE IT EASY. 387 00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:20,793 >> Jimmy: NO, NO, WE CAN CUT THE WHOLE THING OUT. 388 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,529 >> NO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO CUT ‐‐ NO, YOU DID GREAT, YOU DID 389 00:24:23,529 --> 00:24:26,732 GREAT. >> Jimmy: WE DONE? 390 00:24:26,732 --> 00:24:30,302 >> NO, AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW, THE TERM ‐‐ JIMMY, SIT DOWN. 391 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:36,642 THE TERM HERO GETS THROWN AROUND A LOT THESE DAYS 392 00:24:36,642 --> 00:24:41,480 THAT WAS THE WORST THING ‐‐ OKAY 393 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,549 ALL RIGHT. NOW DO I HAVE TO DO THIS WORD 394 00:24:43,549 --> 00:24:47,152 TOO? >> Jimmy: YES. 395 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:51,090 >> OKAY. HEY, SIRI. 396 00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:54,360 >> Jimmy: NO, THE OTHER ONE. THE OTHER ONE. 397 00:24:54,360 --> 00:25:00,966 >> WHAT IS IT? >> Jimmy: A‐L‐E‐X‐A. 398 00:25:00,966 --> 00:25:04,436 >> HEY, BING OH, OKAY, I GOT IT 399 00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:07,072 HERE WE GO, I GOT IT FOR REAL, LET'S START MESSING 400 00:25:07,072 --> 00:25:09,141 AROUND, GROW UP. >> Jimmy: STOP HAVING FUN, 401 00:25:09,141 --> 00:25:11,877 PLEASE. >> HEY, ALEXA. 402 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:14,713 WHERE DO YOU GET OFF ‐‐ >> Jimmy: HEY, COME ON 403 00:25:14,713 --> 00:25:16,348 ALEXA, STOP, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS 404 00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:18,984 LET'S GO ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET TO THE NEXT 405 00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:21,053 ONE. TIE SCORE. 406 00:25:21,053 --> 00:25:28,360 100‐100. HERE WE GO 407 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:33,532 >> JASON BATEMAN >> Jimmy: ALEXA, WHO STARS IN 408 00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:39,405 THE SHOW "OZARK" >> "OZARK" STARS INCLUDE JASON 409 00:25:39,405 --> 00:25:42,474 BATEMAN, SOFIA HUFFMAN ‐‐ >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP, THAT WAS 410 00:25:42,474 --> 00:25:45,644 MORE THAN ENOUGH, THANK YOU. WILL, IT'S YOUR TURN TO TRY TO 411 00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:49,048 MATCH AND BEAT ME HERE THE WORD IS BALD. 412 00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:53,752 >> ALEXA, WHAT KIND OF EAGLE IS ALMOST EXTINCT 413 00:25:53,752 --> 00:25:58,223 >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND FROM THE ARTICLE "WHITE TAILED EAGLE" 414 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,859 ON WIKIPEDIA ULTIMATELY THE WHITE TAILED 415 00:26:00,859 --> 00:26:07,199 EAGLE WAS ALMOST EXTINCT IN EUROPE ‐‐ 416 00:26:07,199 --> 00:26:15,040 >> OH, ALEXA, GIVE IT A REST >> Jimmy: OKAY, LET ME TRY TO 417 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:23,582 SEE IF I CAN GET THIS ONE HERE ALEXA, WHAT IS ROGAIN FOR? 418 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:29,922 >> ROGAIN EXTRA STRENGTH FOR MEN IS A BRAND‐NAME DRUG CLASSIFIED 419 00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:33,625 AS A HAIR GROWTH MEDICATION ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA 420 00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:39,031 ROGAIN EXTRA STRENGTH FOR MEN IS USED TO TREAT ‐‐ 421 00:26:39,031 --> 00:26:41,366 >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP. LIKE AN OLD COMMERCIAL FOR ‐‐ 422 00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:43,368 GEEZ. >> LET ME TRY ONE MORE. 423 00:26:43,368 --> 00:26:45,237 >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP. ALEXA, STOP. 424 00:26:45,237 --> 00:26:48,707 >> I GOT ONE MORE. >> Jimmy: GO. 425 00:26:48,707 --> 00:26:55,280 >> ALEXA, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE LOOK OF DADDY WAR BUCKS? 426 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,482 >> SORRY, I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT 427 00:26:56,482 --> 00:26:58,517 >> ME NEITHER. I'M NOT EITHER, THAT MAKES TWO 428 00:26:58,517 --> 00:27:03,155 OF US. OKAY, GO AHEAD 429 00:27:03,155 --> 00:27:21,073 >> Jimmy: I'D SAY ‐‐ I'D SAY MAYBE ALOOF? 430 00:27:21,073 --> 00:27:22,274 HE WAS ALOOF OH, MAN. 431 00:27:22,274 --> 00:27:25,010 LAST ONE. >> WHAT WAS THE PLOT OF THAT 432 00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:26,445 I FORGET ANYWAY. 433 00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:29,281 >> Jimmy: THE LAST ONE HERE. WHOEVER GETS THIS WINS THE WHOLE 434 00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:33,986 THING. READY? 435 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:39,324 WILL, YOU CAN GO FIRST >> ALEXA, WHAT IS THE SIGNATURE 436 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:43,595 MOVE IN KARATE >> HERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND ON 437 00:27:43,595 --> 00:27:48,000 REFERENCE.COM. KARATE HAS MANY BASIC MOVES THAT 438 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,601 ARE CLASSIFIED AS OFFENSIVE OR DEFENSIVE. 439 00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:53,772 WHILE THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT STYLES OF KARATE, MASK MOVES, 440 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:56,508 SUCH AS THE FOREARM BLOCKING STRAIGHT PUNCH, ARE COMMON TO 441 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,778 MOST FORMS >> THANK YOU, PERFECT. 442 00:27:59,778 --> 00:28:01,947 WELL SAID, I AGREE LET ME TRY. 443 00:28:01,947 --> 00:28:06,552 >> OKAY, GO. >> Jimmy: ALEXA, NAME DIFFERENT 444 00:28:06,552 --> 00:28:10,689 CUTS OF PORK >> ACCORDING TO AN ALEXA ANSWER 445 00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:16,595 CONTRIBUTOR, THERE ARE NINE MAIN BEEF CUTS. 446 00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:20,132 THEY ARE CHUCKS, RIBS, LOINS, ROUNDS, FLANK, SHORT, BRISKET, 447 00:28:20,132 --> 00:28:22,067 SHANK. >> Jimmy: YOU NAMED THE EIGHT 448 00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:27,105 STOOGES. I HATED SHANK. 449 00:28:27,105 --> 00:28:30,042 HE WAS MY LEAST FAVORITE I NEVER LIKED SHANK. 450 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,677 I LIKE ALL THE OTHER STOOGES ALL RIGHT. 451 00:28:31,677 --> 00:28:34,846 I THINK THAT'S THE GAME. I'M GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU, MY 452 00:28:34,846 --> 00:28:37,816 GUEST. WILL ARNETT, CONGRATULATIONS, 453 00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:40,319 YOU ARE THE CHAMP. >> WE WERE TERRIBLE AT THAT. 454 00:28:40,319 --> 00:28:42,521 >> Jimmy: TERRIBLE >> THERE'S NO CELEBRATING HERE 455 00:28:42,521 --> 00:28:47,226 TODAY, JIMMY >> Jimmy: WILL ARNETT, HIS 456 00:28:47,226 --> 00:28:50,262 PODCAST "SMARTLESS" IS AVAILABLE EVERY MONDAY 457 00:28:50,262 --> 00:28:52,931 HIS ANIMATED SHOW "YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE" IS AVAILABLE FIVE 458 00:28:52,931 --> 00:28:55,400 DAYS A WEEK ON QUIBI MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE 459 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:55,870 BREAK. THANKS FOR COMING ON, WILL 460 00:29:03,780 --> 00:29:11,383 ♪ >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS THE 461 00:29:11,383 --> 00:29:15,754 STAR AND CREATOR OF ONE OF THE BIGGEST SHOWS ON TV RIGHT NOW 462 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:20,792 CALLED "I MAY DESTROY YOU. NEW EPISODES AIR MONDAYS AT 9:00 463 00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:22,995 P.M. ON HBO. MERE IS MICHAELA COEL, 464 00:29:22,995 --> 00:29:25,597 EVERYBODY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON 465 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,133 OUR SHOW, I APPRECIATE IT. YOU'RE SPEAKING TO ME FROM 466 00:29:28,133 --> 00:29:31,603 LONDON, IS THAT CORRECT? >> YES, EAST LONDON, THAT'S 467 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,905 RIGHT. >> Jimmy: AND HOW IS ‐‐ HOW ARE 468 00:29:33,905 --> 00:29:37,175 YOU DOING, HOW ARE YOU HANGING IN THERE 469 00:29:37,175 --> 00:29:41,546 >> YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF LIKE UPS AND DOWNS. 470 00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:47,786 SOMETIMES I'M STRUGGLING WITH THE ANXIETY OF NOT KNOWING 471 00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:49,421 WHAT'S GOING ON, LIKE MANY OTHER PEOPLE 472 00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:54,459 I'M SORT OF OCCUPYING MYSELF WITH PUZZLES 473 00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:57,963 I GO RUNNING BUT MY KNEES ARE GETTING SORE, SO NOW I'VE BEEN 474 00:29:57,963 --> 00:30:00,265 STOMPING IN THE PARK, WHICH HAS BEEN GOOD. 475 00:30:00,265 --> 00:30:04,169 >> Jimmy: DANCING IN THE PARK? >> I'VE BEEN DANCING IN THE 476 00:30:04,169 --> 00:30:05,937 PARK, YES. YEAH 477 00:30:05,937 --> 00:30:09,641 BASICALLY I WAS RUNNING A LOT, LIKE EVERY DAY 478 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,742 BUT MY KNEES STARTED GETTING SORE 479 00:30:10,742 --> 00:30:14,346 ONE OF THE TIMES WHEN I WAS RUNNING I WAS GOING THROUGH MY 480 00:30:14,346 --> 00:30:17,516 FAVORITE PARK AND I SAW THIS GUY. 481 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:22,120 AND HE WAS JUST SORT OF THERE, STATIONARY, BUT DOING THESE HUGE 482 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,823 LIKE MOTIONS, DANCING WITH THESE HUGE EAR PHONES ON 483 00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:29,194 AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SO COOL THAT AS I WAS RUNNING BY I GAVE 484 00:30:29,194 --> 00:30:31,930 HIM A THUMBS UP AND KISSES HE SORT OF JUST GAVE ME A THUMBS 485 00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:35,033 UP BACK. HE WAS JUST DOING HIS THING. 486 00:30:35,033 --> 00:30:35,934 THEN MY BROTHER CAME TO STAY WITH ME. 487 00:30:35,934 --> 00:30:43,342 AND I WAS LIKE, DO YOU WANT TO DANCE IN THE PARK? 488 00:30:43,342 --> 00:30:45,944 SO WE EACH HAVE OUR HEADPHONES ON 489 00:30:45,944 --> 00:30:50,315 SO HE GOT HIS OWN HEADPHONES, I'VE GOT MINE, WE JUST GO TO THE 490 00:30:50,315 --> 00:30:57,756 PARK, THEN WE START DANCING. EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, EVEN THOUGH 491 00:30:57,756 --> 00:31:00,592 WE'RE DANCING SEPARATE BEATS ‐‐ >> Jimmy: HIT THE SAME GROOVE. 492 00:31:00,592 --> 00:31:02,994 >> THEN WE START DOING THE SAME MUSIC. 493 00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:06,098 I WENT BY MYSELF TODAY ‐‐ >> Jimmy: DID YOU GET ANY THUMBS 494 00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:09,534 UP, ANY KISSES BLOWN AT YOU? >> I'M TOO NERVOUS TO LOOK 495 00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:11,069 I JUST HAVE TO KEEP MY HEAD DOWN, JUST DO MY THING. 496 00:31:11,069 --> 00:31:16,208 >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE WAY I DANCE EVEN AT WEDDINGS 497 00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:20,912 NO ONE LOOK AT HOW BAD THIS IS. >> I DON'T GO TO WEDDINGS 498 00:31:20,912 --> 00:31:23,882 BECAUSE MY DANCING'S THAT BAD. >> Jimmy: LET'S TALK ABOUT "I 499 00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:27,919 MAY DESTROY YOU. WOW, IT'S FRESH, IT'S DIFFERENT, 500 00:31:27,919 --> 00:31:30,422 IT'S SO WELL DONE. CONGRATULATIONS. 501 00:31:30,422 --> 00:31:33,592 IT WAS A GREAT COVER IN "NEW YORK" MAGAZINE OF YOU. 502 00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:36,661 MAN, YOU LOOK SO COOL. IT WAS SUCH A STUNNING COVER 503 00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:41,166 CONGRATS ON THAT YOU ALSO WROTE THIS WHOLE THING, 504 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:42,134 EVERY EPISODE, NO WRITERS, YOU WROTE EVERYTHING. 505 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:43,635 >> YES. >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING 506 00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:48,473 THIS >> I GO AWAY AND I JUST SORT OF 507 00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:52,744 TYPE ON THE KEYPAD I DON'T PLAN 508 00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:56,648 LIKE I HAD LOADS OF DRAFTS, 20 DRAFTS OF EACH EPISODE 509 00:31:56,648 --> 00:32:03,321 I JUST KIND OF TYPE UNTIL IT MAKES SENSE. 510 00:32:03,321 --> 00:32:11,530 I HAVE A VERY DEDICATED TEAM, EXEC PRODUCERS AND ‐‐ THEY DON'T 511 00:32:11,530 --> 00:32:15,967 MAKE ANY SENSE GRAMMATICALLY, EDITORIALLY. 512 00:32:15,967 --> 00:32:20,806 IT LOOKS LIKE GOO‐GAH‐GOO. THEY TAKE IT AND, WOW, THIS IS 513 00:32:20,806 --> 00:32:22,774 VERY INTERESTING, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN 514 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:26,511 I SAY, IT MEANS THIS OKAY, GO BACK AND TRY AND WRITE 515 00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:28,580 DOWN WHAT YOU JUST SAID. I KEEP DOING THAT AND THEN WE 516 00:32:28,580 --> 00:32:33,718 HAVE THE SHOW. >> Jimmy: WOW. 517 00:32:33,718 --> 00:32:34,820 IT'S SEMI AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL, IF IMCORRECT? 518 00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:36,755 DO YOU WANT TO SET UP THE SHOW FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT 519 00:32:36,755 --> 00:32:41,927 IT IS? >> I CAN TRY TO SET UP THE SHOW. 520 00:32:41,927 --> 00:32:45,530 IT IS SEMI AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL. I BASED THE CHARACTER OF 521 00:32:45,530 --> 00:32:47,199 ARABELLA ON MYSELF, ESPECIALLY IN THE BEGINNING 522 00:32:47,199 --> 00:32:51,002 SHE'S A WRITER SHE TAKES A BREAK FROM WORK. 523 00:32:51,002 --> 00:32:53,505 SHE GOES OUT FOR A DRINK AND HER DRINK IS SPIKED AND SHE'S 524 00:32:53,505 --> 00:32:57,642 SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY A STRANGER 525 00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:01,480 SO THAT WAS THE INITIAL INSPIRATION WAS THAT CHARACTER 526 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:05,851 THEN I ASKED MANY MORE PEOPLE QUESTIONS AND REALIZED THAT SO 527 00:33:05,851 --> 00:33:11,323 MANY PEOPLE HAVE A STORY AROUND SEXUAL CONSENT 528 00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:16,127 SO I KIND OF HAVE THESE THREE ESSENTIAL CHARACTERS, KWAME, 529 00:33:16,127 --> 00:33:20,532 ARABELLA, AND KERRY. HOW CAN I SUM IT UP? 530 00:33:20,532 --> 00:33:23,335 THEN NAVIGATING SEXUAL LIFE AND THE LINE BETWEEN LIBERATION AND 531 00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:26,638 EXPLOITATION IT'S ALSO JUST ABOUT FRIENDSHIP 532 00:33:26,638 --> 00:33:31,209 AND ABOUT HOW WE THINK AND RELATE TO ONE ANOTHER TODAY AND 533 00:33:31,209 --> 00:33:33,512 HOW MUCH INTROSPECTION WE REALLY HAVE. 534 00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:38,984 >> Jimmy: I WAS IMPRESSED THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT AND ADDRESS 535 00:33:38,984 --> 00:33:42,687 THESE ISSUES, BUT ALSO BALANCE COMEDY WITH SERIOUSNESS. 536 00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:49,261 I WILL LET EVERYONE KNOW, IT IS FUNNY TOO. 537 00:33:49,261 --> 00:33:52,797 IT'S SO DIFFERENT AND WELL DONE. DO YOU THINK ABOUT LIKE, THIS 538 00:33:52,797 --> 00:33:55,200 NEEDS A JOKE >> NO, I DON'T 539 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:59,671 I DON'T EVER DO THAT, I JUST WRITE AND IT COMES OUT LIKE 540 00:33:59,671 --> 00:34:02,474 THAT I DON'T QUITE KNOW YET THE 541 00:34:02,474 --> 00:34:04,342 METHOD TO ‐‐ THE WAY IT COMES OUT. 542 00:34:04,342 --> 00:34:09,047 BUT I DO OFTEN GO BACK ‐‐ WHEN I TRY AND FIGURE OUT HOW THE TONE 543 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:13,285 EMERGED AS IT WAS, I THINK BACK TO MY OWN REALITY WHEN I WAS IN 544 00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:16,688 THE POLICE INVESTIGATION ROOM GETTING READY TO GIVE MY FIRST 545 00:34:16,688 --> 00:34:20,091 WITNESS STATEMENT. AND I SAT THERE SORT OF 546 00:34:20,091 --> 00:34:23,995 REALIZING THE COURSE OF MY LIFE WAS FOREVER GOING TO CHANGE. 547 00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:26,231 AND I WAS SORT OF REALIZING SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED 548 00:34:26,231 --> 00:34:29,467 MY FRIEND WAS TAKING CARE OF ME. AS I LOOKED TO HIM, I NOTICED HE 549 00:34:29,467 --> 00:34:36,708 WAS PLAYING POKEMON GO ON THE PHONE. 550 00:34:36,708 --> 00:34:38,143 AND THAT JUST ‐‐ JUST ‐‐ >> Jimmy: THAT'S REAL. 551 00:34:38,143 --> 00:34:39,644 THAT'S REAL. >> YES 552 00:34:39,644 --> 00:34:43,181 >> Jimmy: LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUSLY DOING? 553 00:34:43,181 --> 00:34:47,185 OH, WOW. >> LIKE, WHERE AM I? 554 00:34:47,185 --> 00:34:50,822 WHAT IS EVERYTHING >> Jimmy: YEAH, IS LIFE REAL 555 00:34:50,822 --> 00:34:53,291 YEAH. >> WHAT A SHOCKER. 556 00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:56,461 WHAT'S GOING ON? IT'S RAPE AND POKEMON GO 557 00:34:56,461 --> 00:34:59,798 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE TWO THINGS 558 00:34:59,798 --> 00:35:04,903 BUT HERE THEY ARE IN ONE ROOM. >> Jimmy: YEAH 559 00:35:04,903 --> 00:35:05,770 AND YOU MADE IT INTO A SHOW AND INTO ART 560 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:09,908 IT'S GREAT I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP 561 00:35:09,908 --> 00:35:13,845 HERE'S MICHAELA COEL IN "I MAY DESTROY YOU," LOOK. 562 00:35:13,845 --> 00:35:16,815 >> THIS IS THE SAME GUY, YES THAT TOLD YOU YOU HAD A DRUG 563 00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:20,418 PROBLEM. THEN SOLD YOU DRUGS. 564 00:35:20,418 --> 00:35:23,154 IN THE SAME BREATH >> IT WASN'T IN THE SAME BREATH. 565 00:35:23,154 --> 00:35:24,789 >> WHAT? >> IT WAS IN THE SAME NIGHT, 566 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:31,363 WHICH IS DIFFERENT. >> HE'S A HYPOCRITE. 567 00:35:31,363 --> 00:35:34,432 HE'S CONTROLLING LET ME CHECK THE RECOVERY TOOL 568 00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:37,902 BOOK SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE 569 00:35:37,902 --> 00:35:40,205 WHO AFFIRM YOU >> AND THAT'S ‐‐ YOU 570 00:35:40,205 --> 00:35:43,475 >> YES >> THAT'S YOU? 571 00:35:43,475 --> 00:35:47,846 >> YES, IT IS. >> YOU DO NOT AFFIRM ME WHEN I 572 00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:52,117 NEED AFFIRMATION THE MOST. SO I SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM 573 00:35:52,117 --> 00:35:55,954 CONTROLLING AND HYPOCRITICAL >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO MICHAELA 574 00:35:55,954 --> 00:36:00,325 COEL "I MAY DESTROY YOU" MONDAYS AT 575 00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:02,961 9:00 P. M. ON HBO YOU ARE AWESOME, THANKS FOR 576 00:36:02,961 --> 00:36:06,264 COMING ON MY SHOW. >> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. 577 00:36:06,264 --> 00:36:07,632 >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE FROM H. E. R., STAY 578 00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:08,254 AROUND, EVERYBODY! ♪ 579 00:36:20,045 --> 00:36:25,483 >> Jimmy: PERFORMING HER NEW SONG, "DO TO ME," HERE IS H. E. R. 580 00:36:31,056 --> 00:36:40,598 ♪ ♪ WAIT COME ON NO 581 00:36:40,598 --> 00:36:46,805 WHAT DID YOU DO TO M WAY PAST INFATUATION 582 00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:49,774 THIS CONNECTION ♪ ♪ THAT WE MAK 583 00:36:49,774 --> 00:36:54,579 MAKE AND BABE OH KEEPING ME U 584 00:36:54,579 --> 00:36:57,315 'TIL LATE ♪ ♪ IT'S ONLY CAUSE 585 00:36:57,315 --> 00:37:01,886 I CAN'T WAIT 'TI 'TIL YOU COME TO 586 00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:06,491 MY PLACE PLACE ♪ ♪ YOU SAY BYE BAB 587 00:37:06,491 --> 00:37:09,227 LET ME BE WRON ON MY MIND LIK 588 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:13,732 MY FAVORITE SONG ♪ ♪ PROMISE ME YOU WON' 589 00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:16,868 LEAVE ME ALONE NO NO NO 590 00:37:16,868 --> 00:37:18,403 CAUSE ♪ ♪ ALL THE THING 591 00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,038 YOU DO TO ME DO TO M DO TO ME 592 00:37:20,038 --> 00:37:24,409 DO TO ME YEAH ♪ ♪ ALL THE THING 593 00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:26,478 YOU DO TO ME DO TO ME DO TO M 594 00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:30,749 DO TO ME YEAH ♪ ♪ I LOVE THE WA 595 00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:32,817 YOU TOUCH ME HOLD ME MAKE M 596 00:37:32,817 --> 00:37:35,120 WANNA SING YEAH ♪ ♪ DRIVE ME CRAZ 597 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,189 WITH EVERYTHIN YOU DO TO ME 598 00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:40,258 DO TO ME ♪ ♪ DO TO M 599 00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:43,094 DO TO ME YEAH OH OH ♪ 600 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:48,833 ♪ WHY WHY YOU MAKE ME SO BLIND 601 00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:51,636 JUST LOOKING IN YOUR EYES YOU ♪ 602 00:37:51,636 --> 00:37:57,108 ♪ TOOK MY SOU FOR A RIDE RID 603 00:37:57,108 --> 00:38:01,813 HOW HOW YOU MAKE M FALL DOWN ♪ 604 00:38:01,813 --> 00:38:04,749 ♪ TRIPPING OVER THE SOUND OF 605 00:38:04,749 --> 00:38:10,221 YOU LOVING M SO LOUD LOUD ♪ 606 00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:13,158 ♪ YOU SAY BYE BAB LET ME BE WRON 607 00:38:13,158 --> 00:38:16,461 ON MY MIND LIK MY FAVORITE SONG ♪ 608 00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:19,764 ♪ PROMISE ME YO WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE 609 00:38:19,764 --> 00:38:22,834 NO NO NO CAUSE ♪ 610 00:38:22,834 --> 00:38:24,536 ♪ ALL THE THING YOU DO TO ME DO TO M 611 00:38:24,536 --> 00:38:28,907 DO TO ME DO TO ME YEAH ♪ 612 00:38:28,907 --> 00:38:30,208 ♪ ALL THE THING YOU DO TO ME 613 00:38:30,208 --> 00:38:35,346 DO TO ME DO TO M DO TO ME YEAH ♪ 614 00:38:35,346 --> 00:38:37,215 ♪ I LOVE THE WA YOU TOUCH ME 615 00:38:37,215 --> 00:38:39,517 HOLD ME MAKE M WANNA SING BOY ♪ 616 00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:42,587 ♪ DRIVE ME CRAZ WITH EVERYTHIN 617 00:38:42,587 --> 00:38:44,088 YOU DO TO ME DO TO ME ♪ 618 00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:45,757 ♪ DO TO M DO TO ME 619 00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:50,895 YEAH OH OH ♪ ♪ BUM BUM‐BUM 620 00:38:50,895 --> 00:38:54,732 BI‐DUM BUM‐BUM NONE LIKE YO 621 00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:57,669 WHERE'D YOU COME FROM ♪ ♪ GOT ME HOOKED 622 00:38:57,669 --> 00:39:03,775 I CAN'T GET ENOUGH ♪ ♪ BUM BUM‐BUM 623 00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:07,612 BI‐DUM BUM‐BUM NONE LIKE YO 624 00:39:07,612 --> 00:39:10,982 WHERE'D YOU COME FROM ♪ ♪ GOT ME HOOKED 625 00:39:10,982 --> 00:39:18,223 ON YOUR LOVE LOVE ♪ ♪ BUM BUM 626 00:39:18,223 --> 00:39:22,694 BUM‐BUM BI‐DUM BUM‐BU 627 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:25,997 BUM‐BUM BI‐DUM ♪ ♪ BUM‐BUM 628 00:39:25,997 --> 00:39:29,500 SAY WHAT'S U BUM‐BUM SA 629 00:39:29,500 --> 00:39:32,871 WHAT'S UP ♪ ♪ BUM‐BUM 630 00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:35,807 BUM‐BUM BI‐DUM BUM‐BU 631 00:39:35,807 --> 00:39:39,077 BUM‐BUM BI‐DUM ♪ ♪ BUM BUM 632 00:39:39,077 --> 00:39:41,713 HEY YEAH ♪ ♪ ALL THE THING 633 00:39:41,713 --> 00:39:43,781 YOU DO TO ME DO TO M DO TO ME 634 00:39:43,781 --> 00:39:48,052 DO TO ME YEAH ♪ ♪ ALL THE THING 635 00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:49,487 YOU DO TO ME DO TO ME DO TO M 636 00:39:49,487 --> 00:39:53,858 DO TO ME YEAH ♪ ♪ I LOVE THE WA 637 00:39:53,858 --> 00:39:56,361 YOU TOUCH ME HOLD ME MAKE M 638 00:39:56,361 --> 00:39:58,863 WANNA SING ♪ ♪ DRIVE ME CRAZ 639 00:39:58,863 --> 00:40:01,866 WITH EVERYTHIN YOU DO TO ME 640 00:40:01,866 --> 00:40:03,134 DO TO ME ♪ ♪ DO TO M 641 00:40:03,134 --> 00:40:07,171 DO TO ME YEAH OH OH ♪ 642 00:40:07,171 --> 00:40:11,109 ♪ >> Jimmy: THANK YOU TO H. E. R 643 00:40:11,109 --> 00:40:13,557 MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" WHEN WE COME BACK EVERYBODY. 644 00:40:26,207 --> 00:40:30,261 ♪ >> Jimmy: THANK YOU ALL FOR 645 00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:31,529 WATCHING STAY SAFE OUT THERE. 646 00:40:31,529 --> 00:40:33,431 WASH YOUR HANDS. DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE. 647 00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:34,966 WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY 648 00:40:34,966 --> 00:40:52,083 ♪ 54948

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.