Original subtitles

[theme music]

- Hi. - Hi.

You know Mr. Wafting

is still recovering from his hernia operation?

I don't suppose you have any musical talent?

Have I any musical talent?

My dear woman, you are talking

to the second runner-up

in the western Highlands All-Scotland Banjo Championship.

I won a sheep.

You see, he plays banjo.

A banjo player?

This is a musical-appreciation club

not hee-haw.

- He won a sheep. - This is classical music.

We have a recital Friday.

Dr. Samuels, I love classical music.

Why don't I nip out to the pawnshop, redeem my banjo

bring it back and play you a few ditties, how's that?

No, that won't be necessary. You got the job.

[instrumental music]

[singing in foreign language]

Brilliant! Absolutely beautiful, Monica.

As a matter of fact, the only thing that can compliment that

is a bit of accompaniment on this.

Would you care to join me in a little rendition

of "Clinch Mountain Backstep?"

That would be like inviting Pavarotti to a hootenanny.

I'll take that as a no then, huh?

Well, what do you normally do

for musical appreciation around here?

Well, usually, Monica sings the music.

And we appreciate her.

Well, that's absurd, you can't appreciate music

without makin' music.

Oh, but we're not any good at it, Billy.

- Simone.. - Well..

At least, that's what Mr. Wafting keeps telling us.

She's right. They're not.

But it doesn't matter how good you are at it.

It's how you feel about it that counts, you know?

Music has charms to soothe the savage breast.

Do somethin' about it.

Clap your hands, stomp your feet, sing a little song.

- Play the banjo, like this. - Oh, uh..

I thought we were going to have a recital.

- Not a minstrel show. - We are.

Well, this is not the way we do recitals.

Normally, we choose the best singer

me, to get up at assembly period

and perform for the student body.

The programs have already been printed.

Well, we'll have to pencil in a few changes then, won't we?

Because now everybody is gonna participate.

Oh, not quite everybody.

I'm not sharing the stage with the harmonically handicapped.

Ooh!

Wow! Talk about a savage breast.

Uh, uh, Billy, when you said

that everyone was gonna participate

you meant as in hand out programs, right?

No, everybody is gonna participate on stage

in front of the entire school!

This is your big chance!

Come on, everybody, it's show time!

[indistinct chatter]

Oh.

That's the spirit.

What a merry band of troubadours we have here, huh?

Well, Billy, I'm not gonna get on stage

in front of the whole school and humiliate myself.

Me either. I only joined this club to meet cute nerds.

Billy, I really only like Mr. Wafting's lectures.

None of us can sing this kind of music.

[scoffs] Well, speak for yourself.

I've been waiting for this chance.

That's the stuff, Alan.

[Alan clears throat]

[singing in foreign language]

[woman singing]

Alan, did you put your shorts on backwards this mornin'?

Hey, somebody's singing.

It's coming from the air duct.

Well, it's beautiful! I wonder who it is.

[singing continues]

It's the Phantom of Fillmore High.

[instrumental music]

Okay, geniuses, who wants to play detective?

We've got to find who the Fillmore phantom is.

The phantom of Fillmore High.

Welcome to Who Cares Playhouse.

Well, just a minute. I care.

Someone in this school has an incredible natural gift.

A gift that should be nurtured and developed.

Well, it should be nurtured and developed by Friday

or one of us is gonna have to make a fool of himself.

Yeah, Billy, whoever this phantom is could make

our music-appreciation club recital

the best one that we've ever had.

Hey, a cat with a hair ball could do that.

Hey, TJ, TJ, you've got a great voice.

Oh, TJ, would you be interested in joining

our music-appreciation club

and singing in the recital, please?

Night of one hundred nerds, please.

My TJ is a little bit too hip for that.

Excuse me? I am not your TJ.

And I can speak for myself, thank you.

I'm sorry, Sarah, but I'm a little too hip for that.

Are you saying I'm not hip?

If the pocket protector fits, wear it.

[laughing]

I-I-I believe that dude is dissing

my personal sense of style.

TJ, I don't get it, you sang in "Little Shop Of Horrors"

and you sang when we put on "Hair."

Yeah, and I took a lot of flak

from it from my old friends.

But this egghead music you guys

are talkin' about singin'

uh-huh, ain't even borderline cool.

Oh, cool, not cool.

Hip, not hip. What's that got to do with it?

Have you listened to the sounds that they're playing?

The luminous beauty of the music?

The glorious classical style? The technical perfection?

Vivaldi transcends cool. It's beyond hip.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

When Vivaldi appears on "Soul Train"

we'll go check it out.

Yeah, right.

[instrumental music]

Shh, shh.

[tapping]

Okay, then, who's gonna go first?

I am, Billy.

What are you gonna do for us, Nancy?

I'd like to play the "Polovtsian Dances" by Borodin.

Fabulous! You can play the "Polovtsian Dances."

- No problem. - 'Alright.'

[instrumental "Polovtsian Dances"]

That is really wonderful.

Be sure you bring a tape with some applause.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, I hear somethin'. I hear somethin'.

We've got to find that voice!

Come on, Arvid, you're gonna be our little human

portable sonic sensing device.

- Right in here. - Wa-wa-wait a minute, Dennis.

Why should I have to get on my knees an-an-and

shimmy through a-a teeny little vent?

I mean, why don't you get on your..

Alright.

Alright, let me get this thing off.

[woman singing]

- Alright, get in there. - Okay.

- Get your head down. - 'Watch out, Arvid.'

[Arvid screams]

(Arvid) I think I'm stuck.

This calls for a portable forward thrust unit.

- Hey! - Turn the music up, Nancy.

Hey, Billy, Billy, look, I got

the original construction blueprints from Miss Meara.

The auditorium air duct is connected

to the one in the history classroom.

Okay, I'll go trace the phantom, you look after Arvid here.

- Alright. - 'Amazing!'

[indistinct chatter]

(Arvid) 'Hey! Where am I?'

Hang on, little buddy. I'll get you out of there.

Alright, give me your feet. Ow! Give me your feet!

(Arvid) 'Let go!'

[trouser rips]

(Arvid) 'Hey, it's a little drafty in here!'

[singing continues]

How long have you been standing there?

Oh, long enough to know you have a really glorious voice.

The whole music class heard you.

We were listening through an air duct.

Oh, no. They didn't know it was me, did they?

Well, the going theory is that

Beverly Sills is repairing the furnace.

[chuckles] Yeah, good. Well, let's keep it that way, alright?

Yeah. So, I saw you.

You really love this music, don't you?

- Well, love lots of music. - Yeah.

So is music the secret passion of TJ Jones, huh?

Well, you know, sometimes when you see me in the hallway

and I have my earphones on and it looks like

I'm boppin' to a beat, actually

I'm listening to Bach, Mozart, Handel, you know?

Yeah, so those things you said in the class

this mornin', I mean, you didn't really mean them.

They were for Aristotle's benefit, huh?

Yeah, my old friends, too.

You know, Billy, rap, jazz and house music

they're the only things I still

have in common with these people.

And if I were to get up on stage

and start singing some oratorio

man, I'd get dissed by my whole neighborhood.

Uncool. You know what I'm sayin'?

(Billy) 'Hm.'

Can you spell hypochondriacal?

- Say what? - H-Y-P-O-C-H-O-N-D-R-I-A-C-A-L.

- Ooh, very impressed. - Yeah.

Spelling champion of Scotland, three years running.

- Thank you. - Really? No kidding.

I was spitting champ on my block for two.

Oh, I'll take your word for that.

I spelled scintilla in Glasgow, defenestration in London

and antidisestablishmentarianism in Sydney.

Spellin' took me right around the world.

- It was F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. - Billy..

Why are you telling me all of this?

Because if I'd listened to my so-called friends

I'd still be in Glasgow. That's the truth.

Hey, Billy, can you spell F-I-S-T?

So they're still in the same old slums

scrubbin' around, lookin' for jobs in the same old docks

where there's no jobs anymore.

So what you're sayin' is, if I were to get up and sing

at this recital, I could wind up seeing the whole W-O-R-L-D?

You never know.

What would you say if I brought somebody

from Julliard here to see you? Would you be interested?

Wow, from Julliard? Whoa!

That'll be somethin', I mean, you know, I was planning

on majorin' in business because that's practical.

But, whoa, what I would really love to do is music.

Yeah. Okay.

You see, TJ, when these opportunities arise

you gotta grab them with both hands.

The future spreads out before you.

- The horizon-- - Billy? Billy, Billy, Billy.

- I said okay. - Oh, come on.

I'm on a sort of roll. The horizon goes on and on..

[indistinct chatter]

(Arvid) 'Yoo-hoo! Phantom!'

'Hello!'

♪ Ave Maria-- ♪

Hey, I'm sorry, Billy. Look, I'm looking for TJ. Have..

- TJ, what are you doin' here? - I'm singin', baby!

I'm a mezzo-soprano!

Wait a minute, you have time for this

but you don't have time for me?

I happen to enjoy this.

You'd probably enjoy it, too, Aristotle.

We're just jammin' a little hip-hop groove here

called "Ave Maria."

Bing-bing, I pass.

Oh, come on, Aristotle, in its day

this stuff was funky fresh, let me tell you.

Schubert's mother used to shout, "Hey, Franz

stop playing the harpsichord! Come down for your dinner!"

Hey, come on, TJ, why are you even singing this junk?

You're gonna make yourself look like a fool. Come on.

- Let's bust. - And why is that?

Because, I mean, this music is history. Like, old news.

Like, not happening. It's not your kind of music.

Oh, and what is my kind of music?

I don't know, why don't you sing some hip-hop or some house

or somethin' with a little bit of soul in it?

Oh, well, music is music.

And if, I don't care if some guy from the year 12 writes it.

If I like it, I'm gonna sing it. You got that?

I got it.

Aristotle, come back here!

[door shuts]

- You okay, TJ? - Yeah. Never better.

Do you wanna go and have a word with him or somethin'?

No, no, let's..

- Let's sing, Billy. - Okay.

[piano music]

♪ Ave Maria.. ♪♪

(Arvid) 'Hey, guys, I think I found the phantom!'

I'm almost there! The voice is right up ahead!

I..

I, I-I thought I'd heard the phantom.

My mistake.

(Arvid) Hey, yo, phantom!

'Yoo-hoo!'

I think you'll be very impressed.

Mind you, I think you'll find that TJ is a little, uh

earthier than your normal Julliard student.

Well, don't worry, my best soprano likes to belch

"Flight Of The Bumblebee."

[laughing]

[sighs]

- You're from Julliard? - Yes.

[singing in foreign language]

I'm so excited, you guys!

- It's standing room only. - Oh, man!

TJ, you're a big draw. The remedial class is here.

Even the kids who play hooky are here today.

Well, well, is Aristotle out there?

- Um, I don't know. - Shh, shh.

- Okay, TJ, how you feelin'? - Lousy.

That's understandable. It's nerves.

Once you start it, it'll be great.

No, it won't, Billy, I don't have stage fright

'cause I'm not goin' on the stage.

(Simone) 'TJ, what are you talking about?'

What are you talkin' about?

Why not?

Do you know how to spell quit, Billy?

A-R-I-S-T-O-T-L-E?

Yeah, well, he hasn't spoken to me in two days

and I don't know what his problem is.

All I know is, I have a choice. Schubert or Aristotle.

Let's face it, Billy, you can't get a hickey from a dead guy.

I can't believe you're givin' up this chance.

Yeah, well, neither can I. And I know he's wrong.

But I don't care, Billy. I don't wanna lose him, you know?

Sorry.

Okay, you're all members of the music-appreciation club.

Who would like to appreciate it out loud?

Oh, no, Billy! Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy.

- What's this? - It's a gold earring.

Right. On a tin ear.

Oh, come on. Dennis, what about you?

Well, I can play Beethoven's Fifth.

- You can? - Yeah. On my armpit.

Some show this is gonna be, huh? No kids on the block.

I'm gonna try and talk some sense into Aristotle.

Yeah. Good luck, Billy.

[indistinct chatter]

This seat taken?

No, but it will be, TJ's friends are gonna show up

and watch her make a fool out of herself.

Yeah? Well, I'm afraid they're gonna be pretty disappointed.

[sighs] TJ isn't singing tonight.

What do you mean she's not singing? She told me..

Did she say why?

You. You're why.

Oh, I get it, so you're here to talk me

out of talking her out of doin' it, right?

Nope, I'm here to talk you into talking her out

of talking her out of it.

Aristotle, there is only one of two reasons

why you don't want her to sing here tonight.

And the first is that you think by performin' here

she's gonna be somehow denyin' her roots.

Roots? Billy, this has nothin' to do with roots.

Now what, are you gonna give me a list of Afro-Americans

who are into classical music?

Yeah.

Leontyne Price, Jessye Norman, Kathleen Battle.

Brilliant Opera singers.

Not to mention Samuel Coleridge-Taylor.

I mean, they're all classical leader like, like Schubert.

Like I said, I already know that.

Like I know that Wynton Marsalis plays baroque.

His "Haydn Trumpet Concertos" are impeccable.

Ooh, are they now?

So you do like this stuff.

Alright, alright. You got me. So what's your second reason?

The second reason is that you are frightened of TJ's talent.

Oh, so what are you saying? I'm jealous of her?

No, no, no.

You're frightened of where TJ's talent might take her.

She's a brilliant singer. You know that.

She'll probably go to Juilliard, she'll meet interesting people

travel to exotic places.

And unless you're a better singer

than both of us think you are

you probably won't be goin' along.

And you think you're gonna lose her, don't you?

Mind you..

...I could be wrong.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, people

today's assembly period will feature a recital

by the Musical Appreciation Club.

Now, this is classical music, so I want everyone

to remain quiet, uh, dignified and respectful.

It won't go on that long.

And now for your listening pleasure

the "Ave Maria" by Franz Schubert.

[banjo music]

♪ I went down to Cripple Creek ♪

♪ To see what the boys there had to drink ♪

♪ I get drunk fell against the wall ♪

♪ Ol' corn likker was the cause of it all ♪

♪ I'm goin' down Cripple Creek goin' on a run ♪

♪ Goin' down Cripple Creek to have a little fun ♪

♪ Roll my britches up to my knees ♪

♪ Goin' down Cripple Creek as I please ♪

[music continues]

♪ Whoa ♪♪

[music continues]

Thank you!

[audience cheering]

'Thank you so much!'

Thank you very much!

I saw "Fantasia" and that wasn't "Ave Maria."

Twelve more times!

[banjo music]

TJ.

TJ.

Oh, it's you. What do you want?

You quit for me, didn't you?

No, I didn't quit for you.

I quit because it's dorky music and I shouldn't be singin' it.

Yeah, right.

- What are you listening to? - MC Hammer, baby.

[sighs] Since when does MC Hammer play a harpsichord?

Okay, so it's Bach.

You really love this music, don't you?

Yeah. Well, maybe I do. Do you got a problem with that?

If so, you better speak up.

Actually, I do have a problem with it, TJ.

You know how much time you've been spendin' on your IHP work?

Yeah, which I love every minute of.

Yeah, I know, but you haven't been spending

any time with me.

And then you join this music club

and the next thing I know, people are talkin'

saying you got this audition with Juilliard

and you're gonna become a big star. I mean..

I was afraid of losin' you, alright?

Well, you're not gonna lose me.

You're the reason I'm sitting here

instead of singin' in there.

I got a problem with that, too.

You're comin' out of the classical closet.

[chuckles]

Come on, bust a move and go on there

and sing some sweet nothings to me.

Thanks.

[banjo music]

Thank you!

[audience cheering]

- Thank you very much, indeed. - Billy!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you

to the exotic song stylings of Mr. Dennis Blunden

and his musical pit!

Well, alright. Can I have B-flat, please?

(Billy) Certainly. Hold on! Hold on!

I know you are a multi-talented person, dear Dennis

but the star of the show has arrived!

Ms. TJ Jones!

- Yay! - 'TJ! TJ!'

[piano music]

♪ Ave ♪

♪ Maria ♪

♪ Gratia plena ♪

♪ Maria ♪

♪ Gratia plena ♪

♪ Maria gratia plena ♪

♪ Ave ave dominus ♪

♪ Dominus tecum ♪

♪ Benedicta ♪

♪ Tu in mulieribus ♪

♪ Et benedictus ♪

♪ Et benedictus ♪

♪ Fructus ventris ♪

♪ Ventris tui ♪

♪ Jesus ♪

♪ Ave ♪

♪ Maria ♪♪

- 'Whoo!' - 'Wow!'

[audience cheering]

[indistinct]

(Billy) 'Congratulations.'

[audience cheering]

[theme music]

[music continues]