Original subtitles

[theme music]

In 1828, the Liberty Bell was a broken relic

that the City of Philadelphia had been trying

to get rid of for ages as scrap metal.

No takers.

1847

a playwright called George Lippard

wrote a completely fictional piece

about an old gray-haired patriot who rang the bell

to herald the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

Instantly, the bell became a national treasure.

Another example of how

a few well-chosen words and a bit of time

can add unprecedented value to something

that was previously completely worthless.

I would urge you to keep this in mind

before you throw out your Helen Reddy records.

Okay.

Billy, sorry I'm late. I had to pull an all-nighter.

The printer moved up the deadline for the yearbook.

- No way. - Oh, oh, yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, good. Look, Darlene, this is a great picture of me.

That's Alan. That's you.

- 'Wow.' - Hm. It is?

Yeah, what's wrong with it?

I-I look like such a nerd.

Alright, Darlene, now, wait a second.

This is supposed to be me?

Yup, Dennis, that's you.

Well, I guess it's true what they say.

The camera adds 70 pounds.

Hey, listen, don't worry about these things.

It's one of those unwritten laws.

For no matter how hard you try

your high-school yearbook photograph

is gonna make you look like a twit.

Hey, Eric, I'm in charge of captions.

What am I supposed to write under your picture?

Write whatever you want. I don't care.

Hey, how about this?

"Eric Mardian. Rebel without a clue."

Okay, yeah, that's..

No! Be serious.

How about, "His life was gentle

"and the elements so mixed in him

"that nature might stand up and say to all the world

this was a man."

Oh, please. Spare me the Shakespeare.

Julius Caesar's dead and so is high school.

A week after we graduate, nobody's gonna care

who's in the yearbook or what they look like

or whatever lame award they won.

Hey, I hate to break this to everybody

but this yearbook thing is a joke.

High school is a joke.

Everything's a joke.

Wow! Talk about existentialist.

Why don't you put what Kierkegaard

put in his yearbook?

"Have a great summer, folks.

Everything else is nothingness."

Yeah, lighten up, Eric.

- Yeah, Eric. Come on. - Come on.

Fine! You want me to write something?

Write this, Simone. "Take this school and shove it."

[instrumental music]

(Samuels) 'Members of the academic team'

I've gathered you here to witness

the official placement

of this year's City Championship Cup

into the trophy case of honor.

And I've had each one of your names engraved on it. See?

- Oh, wow! - Wow!

Wonderful, wonderful!

Ah, ex-except Eric's.

(Samuels) 'Who? Huh, Mardian.'

Well, not on the team, not on the trophy.

Oh, hey, that doesn't sound fair.

Yeah, Dr. Samuels, what about the time

Eric helped us out in Russia?

Yeah, he helped us out a lot of times.

Hey, guys, I don't care.

See, he doesn't care, do ya?

Remember, "Take this school and shove it?"

- He meant us, too, you know? - Mm-hmm.

Ah, but he was still part of the team.

- Come on. - Yeah!

He was a sub. Never officially on the team.

Oh, come on! Listen.

When the New York Yankees win the Stanley Cup

or whatever that is called, right

the guys on the bench or the mound

or wherever else they sit

they always get a championship ring

or a plaque or a hat or somethin', don't they?

They're on the team! Eric isn't.

Am I right, Mardian?

Yup, I'm not on the stupid team.

You see? He's not on the stupid team.

I don't wanna be on the stupid team.

Doesn't wanna be on the stupid team.

And it's not a stupid team.

He made me forget my speech, though.

So where.. Well, the ceremony's off.

- Oh, come on.. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm going to put my trophy away.

Now, look, you can look, but remember, don't touch!

[indistinct chatter]

What is it with you and this trophy stuff, anyway?

You don't have your picture taken.

You don't want your name engraved on it.

Why's that? Are you in a witness protection program or somethin'?

Look, Billy, I'm not up for the old hallway

heart for heart, okay?

That's okay. I just..

I just don't want you to feel over things, you know?

I know you're Mr. Loner, Mr. Cool and all that.

You know, but don't you wanna be remembered?

Who by? What for? Who cares?

- Well, don't you? - No, I don't.

Is that okay with you?

- Smashin'. - Good.

Hey! Bernadette, bad news?

No, I'm just sending Simone's transcript to Bryn Mawr.

Oh, God! Bryn Mawr, whatever will become of her?

- Oh, no.. - Stop it.

I'm just.. I'm very attached to these kids.

I'll never forget Simone's first day.

She was so shy, she didn't know where her classroom was

and so, she-she didn't wanna walk in the wrong room

and she didn't wanna walk in the office 'cause she was afraid

and she was afraid to stand in the hall

and the janitor found her hiding

in the broom closet.

Oh, Dennis!

I'll never forget his first day here.

I found pudding in my purse.

Oh, that's very touching.

Tell me, what was Eric like when he first started high school?

Well, you know, he's, uh

al-always been sort of an outsider.

He never was really involved in anything.

Now, Arvid..

Did you know he wore a leisure suit on his first day?

And Sarah.. Oh, sweet, sweet, Sarah. Oh!

Do you know, Bernadette, you sound like a typical candidate

for the Billy MacGregor Speed Grieving Course.

- Yeah? - Denial!

Nah!

They're not leavin'. No way!

[blowing a raspberry] Over my dead body.

Nobody's leavin'. Ha-ha-ha!

As if they would! Ha! No danger.

Guilt!

It's my fault, isn't it?

It's my fault.

They're graduating because of somethin' I said.

Somethin' I didn't say, somethin' I could've said

somethin' I, somethin' I didn't do about

somethin' that was said, somethin'

I could've done, huh.

Anger. Oh, yeah. Thank you very much!

So that's what you get?

You give them the best years of your life

what do you get? Zip, zilch, zero!

The center of a donut! Nothing!

Well, good riddance! I spit in your transcript.

Acceptance.

Come on.

It's the natural cycle. It's the way of things.

It's the way things should be.

The transient nature of the Earth.

There's nothing for us to do but pick up the pieces

and pay the library fines.

Ms. Meara, Ms. Meara, have you started a file

on next year's academic team?

How can you even think about next year's

when this year's team hasn't even gone yet?

Hey, I'll never forget this group of kids.

They're, they're like my own children.

Wait till you see the IQ scores on this next batch.

Wall-to-wall geniuses.

You know, I got a kid comin' in here next year from Pakistan

and he knows nine languages.

Hey, not that Jasper isn't one hell of a linguist

but he only knows five.

Big deal!

Dr. Samuels, can I have a word with you about Eric?

Yeah.

I feel really strongly

you know, that his name

should be on that trophy.

Hey, look. You heard him. He doesn't want it.

He didn't even wanna be in this class.

The only reason I let him in was because his mother bulldozed me.

Come on, you know all that lone wolf stuff's a big act.

What have you got against Eric, anyway?

I've got nothing against Eric. He doesn't like me.

Okay? Fine!

So I'm not looking for love, you know?

I'm kind of a lone wolf in my own way, you know?

I thought that, you know?

Sometimes I look at you

and I think James Dean.

Really?

You mean, the guy that makes the pork sausages?

[instrumental music]

Hey, guys! What do you think?

No glasses!

Arvid, you're blind without your glasses.

Are you kidding? I can see perfectly well.

It's a nice look for you, Arvid.

[chuckles] Thanks, T.J.

T.J.?

- Hi! - Hi, girl!

Hey, you guys, the yearbook's almost done.

Just fill up these ballots for senior awards.

Okay? Alright, here you go, Aristotle.

Hey, I'm voting for us for cutest couple.

Oh, no, you're not.

I mean, there's already enough pictures of us

in the yearbook looking cute. I mean, just think about it.

In 20 years from now, after we've separated

married the wrong people and had the wrong kids

it's gonna break my heart to go back

and look at those pictures.

- That'll never happen. - Yeah.

Well, that's what always happens.

Well, in that case, we'll save everybody a lot of trouble

and stay together for the rest of our lives.

That's dumb.

- It is? - But sweet.

Hey. Hey.

- Here you go. - Thank you, Darlene.

Hey, Sarah, look at this.

There's a category for nicest.

- You should win that. - Oh, Jasper. That's nice.

I'm gonna vote for you.

- And I'll vote for you. - Oh, that's nice.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Hey, Eric, I wrote a new caption

for your senior picture last night.

Hey, look, I already told you

what I want for my caption.

You can't write that in a yearbook.

It's just.. Well, it's not appropriate.

Here. See what you think.

Whatever. I don't care.

[sighs] Wait a minute.

"Eric Mardian, IHP member and aspiring novelist.

"Likes motorcycles, Greenwich Village, foggy days.

Dislikes insincerity, bad poetry and meatloaf."

You make me sound like a "Star Search" spokesmodel.

I thought you didn't care.

Okay, so maybe I care about the senior caption a little bit.

Is that all you care about?

Look, don't start with me about the trophy.

So you are bugged about the trophy.

No.

Even though I am the one who answered the question

about Foucault's pendulum that beat Bronx Science

in the quarterfinals in September of '88..

...no.

Eric, why don't you just go to Dr. Samuels

and tell him you want your name on the trophy?

I won't give him the satisfaction.

Besides, he left my name off. Let him come to me.

Why do you have to be so difficult about everything?

Oh, excuse me.

I'm sorry, I can't always be appropriate like you.

What's that supposed to mean?

Look, I'm not being difficult, Simone.

I'm standin' up to authority

which is something you wouldn't know about.

Face it, the only chance you ever took in high school

was goin' out with me.

You're the girl who never met a rule

she didn't follow

and I'm the guy who never wanted to be

in the IHP to begin with.

[instrumental music]

I think we should all go to Dr. Samuels

and demand that he put Eric's name on the trophy.

Well, I don't think we should upset Dr. Samuels

at a time when he's calling colleges on my behalf.

Oh, Alan, why do you always have to think of yourself?

Wait a minute, are we talkin' about the same Eric

"Take the school and shove it" Mardian?

I mean, why? Why are we, like, putting ourselves out for him?

Look, it doesn't really matter what Eric wants

or doesn't want to write in the yearbook.

He has earned the right to be on that trophy.

- Doesn't he? - Yeah, he has.

Okay, alright.

What do you say we go to Dr. Samuels

very politely

and ask him to please put Eric's name

on the trophy, fair enough?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's a start.

Well, actually, I've already asked him, Simone.

I think you guys are gonna have to resort to tougher measures.

Billy, no offense

but we go back a long way with Dr. Samuels.

We're kind of his pets. He'll do anything for us.

- Good morning, gang. - Good morning, Dr. Samuels.

Just a reminder for everyone

to turn in their academic team blazers.

- 'What?' - 'Why?'

Well, we need to get a jump on the alterations

for next year's team.

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah, Dr. Samuels, it must be tough

seeing your dream team hangin' up, eh?

Oh, yeah, it is. Hm-mm!

Great bunch of kids.

I mean, in two lifetimes

you can never assemble a group like that.

I mean, look at Jasper, speaks five languages

'and still is a whiz at science, eh?'

And yet you tell me you found this new guy, eh

who boggles even your imagination?

W-wait, you told me I boggled your imagination.

Uh, actually, I boggle very easily.

And what about Alan, the school's great debater?

How could you replace him?

And yet you tell me you found this new guy.

How did.. Could you put it?

That he..

"He makes Alan look speechless." That's it.

'Yeah, and this new kid you found'

who knows more about quantum physics

than Viki, Dennis and Arvid put together.

- 'Oh.' - 'No, no, no, I, I..'

I didn't really say that, you know?

No, no, you didn't. What did you actually say?

You said, "He could beat them with his left brain

tied behind his back." That was it.

Well, oh, hey, oh, boy, I got to go.

Hey, hey, not so fast.

Um, we've got something we want to tell you.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

We want you to put Eric's name on the trophy.

Simone, you don't have to do this.

No, Simone's right, he may have just been an alternate

but he was a very important part of our team.

- Yeah, he was. - 'It's true.'

I'll think about it.

No!

You guys, you know, maybe Eric's right.

A week after graduation, nobody's gonna remember us.

You wanna bet? I haven't even begun to fight.

[instrumental music]

(Aristotle) 'Simone!'

Oh!

Brilliant stunt, everybody.

As an old Scottish prankster, I stand in awe.

It's so original!

I lift my kilt to you. Yeah!

[whistling]

That Blunden..

Hey, you guys think this is a big joke now

but you're not gonna be laughing when Dr. Samuels

cancels your graduation.

You know, he-he has a point.

Oh, come on! Don't cave in now.

Sure, Samuels is gonna come in with his guns blazin'

but if you stick together, you'll be okay.

Come on! Courage, courage!

[all cheering]

- Blunden! - Ow! Yes, sir!

Get those fish out of the hall!

And w-w-where the hell is my trophy?

And you can forget about college.

It was Simone's idea, it was Simone's idea.

The trophy is fine. It-it's in a safe place.

But we're keeping it until you meet our demands.

- Demands? - That's right.

Or else, or else your trophy's

gonna sleep with the fishes.

We're, we're gonna melt that down

into one of those little treasure chests

with a lid that goes bloop, bloop, bloop.

Simone, I can't believe that you would ever do this.

Well, you better believe it, buddy.

Well, the fact is, Dr. Samuels, we're all in it together.

- 'Yeah.' - 'Yeah.'

Although, Simone

was the ring leader.

Well, I do not negotiate with terrorists..

...even if they're smart.

Mr. MacGregor, I want to see you in my office, mister.

And I mean now!

Me? It was Simone's idea!

It was Simone's idea!

What did I ever do to make them hate me like this?

Come on, the world's comin' to an end

and nobody seems to care.

They're about to graduate, and all you can talk about

is jackets for the new kids.

I guess you're right.

So you think maybe if I let 'em keep the jackets, uh, may..

...maybe that'll make them like me again, huh?

Not really. I think you should put Eric's name on the trophy.

No!

Well, why don't you name one of the fish Eric, then?

I'm not gonna do anything for that Mardian.

He's never showed me any respect.

The kid's just as troubled admittin' how he feels.

Like you.

I don't have any trouble admitting how I feel.

You wanna know how I feel, eh? Uh..

Forget it, the answer is no!

[instrumental music]

Well, h-how did it go?

- 'Yeah.' - Well..

I didn't get fired.

He won't put Eric's name on the trophy.

And the fish are doin' well. Swimmingly.

Apart for a wee pale blue one

who's sorta sleepin' near the surface

in a kind of pre-sushi state.

Alright, if Dr. Samuels wants to play hardball

we're ready. On to plan B.

- Dennis. - On my way, chief.

I think I'm in love.

Simone, can I see you in the hall?

Look, Simone, don't do this.

I appreciate what you're doin'

but I don't want you to get in trouble 'cause of me.

Well, actually, Eric, I started out doing it for you.

But I wound up doing it for me.

I never knew I had this inner strength.

- But I do. - Yeah.

Well, don't lose it. Looks good on you.

Thanks. Now, shape up and lose the attitude.

[sighs] Look, I don't know why I've been acting this way.

I was just..

Ever since I saw that yearbook

it really hit me.

This big part of my life is, is over.

What have I accomplished? Nothing.

Nothing?

Eric, you've got a room full of friends in there

who are willing to stand up to Dr. Samuels for you.

I put fish in the trophy case for you.

I-if you want to know what to write in the yearbook

why don't you try "Thank you?"

[door opens]

Excuse me, Mr. MacGregor.

Class, it's come to my attention

that some of my actions have been misinterpreted.

I would like to set the record straight.

I love you kids.

You're my favorite, ever.

And, uh, I've decided

to put Mardian's name on the trophy.

I can't believe it! This is great!

That is...when you give it back to me.

Oh, well done, Simone.

Doesn't it show you what can be accomplished

with a little ingenuity, conviction and seafood?

And I want you to know that I'm doing this

just for you kids, not for Mardian..

...because if this is what you kids want

then it's what I want.

Yeah, well, who said it's what I want?

I never asked for my name to be on that trophy.

Okay, Eric, what do you want?

I want my name on the trophy.

But not because you guys want it on there

'and not because Dr. Samuels doesn't want it on there..'

...but because I've been a part of this team

in this class since the beginning.

And that's how I wanna be remembered.

And I'm proud of it.

I think I also know what I want on my caption.

"I got by..

...with a little help from my friends."

Nice.

Why did you wait so long to tell us how-how you felt?

Guess I didn't know how I felt until now.

Well, I wish I'd have known.

I can't believe I've misjudged you

all these years.

Well, we're gonna make up for lost time, son

because I have a feeling

that you and I have a lot more in common

than you and I have admitted to.

What do you say, son?

Don't hug me.

Fair enough.

- Oh, yes! - Yes!

You pulled it off! Yes!

Do you know what you've done is gonna get down

in the annals of Fillmore High history?

- 'Whoo!' - Who's gonna top it, eh?

A fish tank in a trophy case.

Oh, yes!

Okay, mission accomplished. I did it.

There are 14 live chickens in Dr. Samuels' bathroom.

Simone Foster!

(all) Dennis did it! Dennis did it!

[theme music]