Original subtitles

[theme music]

[bell ringing]

See you tomorrow, uh, or maybe tonight.

Uh, did anybody here sign up for that writing class

in historical biographies at Hunter College?

The one Linda Bassler's teaching.

So did I. So, I'll see you there.

You know, I really like the book that she did on the Civil War.

Yeah, you know she makes Lincoln and Grant Lee

seem like real flesh and blood people.

Yeah, with an emphasis on flesh.

I mean, let's face it. She writes dirty books.

She makes every historical person

she writes about sex-crazy.

Simone, sex is part of history.

- Just not our history. - 'Oh.'

[indistinct chatter]

Well, see you tonight, or tomorrow.

[instrumental music]

(Charlie) Now, this should be fun, it's gonna be like

being back in high school again.

Yeah, this is, uh, pretty cool, us taking a class together

and being pals and partners and equals.

Right, Charlie?

Oh.

So, where's this old bag anyway?

- Alan, she's hardly an old bag. - Oh, come on.

She gets her jollies by writing

about Ulysses S. Grant's love life.

She was probably there peeking in his tent.

She's a lecherous old prune.

Hi, everybody.

I'm, uh, sorry, I'm late.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Excuse me, Miss Bassler, but

how can you presume to know

what a historical character was thinking?

Well, I often create conversations

from diary entries, love letters

or personal reminiscences.

So, in other words, you make them up.

- Uh, yes. - If I may.

Alan, isn't it more interesting to create the experiences

that Lincoln felt following Ann Rutledge's death?

'It's not enough to say'

"Died 1836, New Salem, Illinois."

She was the love of his life.

Oh, well, actually it was 1835.

And I'm not so sure that he was the love of her life

but, yeah, that's-that's the general idea.

Thank you, Mr. Moore.

Way to kiss up, Chucky.

You know, in fact, um, for tomorrow

uh, why don't you each, uh, pick two historical characters

write an imaginary conservation between them.

Based on any research that you can verify.

Okay? Great, we'll see you all tomorrow.

Okay.

Uh, Mr. Moore. Hey, thanks again for your kind words.

I'm a high school history teacher

but I'm also a fan of yours.

Oh, thank you.

As are my students.

Eric's becoming a writer.

Wonderful.

Alan...reads.

I really enjoyed the class tonight, Miss Bassler.

Oh, I mean, I did too. We-we--

- It was wonderful. - Really, a great--

- Dennis and Arvid. - Terrific class.

We all enjoyed it, Miss Bassler.

Clowns.

Darlene. Goodnight, Darlene.

And I guess we're keeping you here.

Oh, we better get going, guys.

- Yeah. - Yes.

You know, I-I was thinking about stopping for a cup of coffee

on my way home, Mr. Moore, if you'd care to join me?

- Sure. - Great. You know Jessen's?

One of my neighborhood hangouts.

Ah-ha. Coffee soulmate.

[instrumental music]

And then Mr. Moore goes into talking about Abraham Lincoln's

mourning for his dead girlfriend.

Get out of here, he actually expected

to get some action with a line like that?

Action? While I was picking out my eyeballs

off the floor, he already had a date with her.

- Oh, right. - Yeah.

I got to try this one.

You know, baby..

...I had a girlfriend, but she died.

Lucky for her.

[indistinct chatter]

Good morning, everybody.

(in unison) Good morning, Mr. Moore.

So, the old Abraham Lincoln's dead girlfriend ploy.

You're a star, bud. Mm.

Look, if you're referring to Linda and me, uh..

- Oh, it's Linda now. - Uh-huh.

- So, how was your date? - Yeah?

Uh, we weren't dating.

We simply went out for some espresso.

Oh! Espresso!

Well, I think we all know what that means.

So, Mr. Moore, did you hold hands?

Did you kiss goodnight?

Did you make plans for the weekend?

[laughing]

Friends, friends, friends.

I am deeply touched by your concerns for my love life.

But there's nothing between us.

Yet!

Alright, alright, I'll admit, she's...interesting.

She's, uh, attractive.

She's very attractive.

And, uh, I'll admit, I wouldn't mind

seeing her outside the classroom.

- Or inside your apartment? - Oh.

[bell ringing]

I think this means that we're supposed to start the class now.

- Morning, gang. - Wrong again.

Mr. Moore, I just want to remind you

you're giving the CPR demonstration

at the Teacher's Safety Committee meeting tonight.

Here's your dummy.

Where is she, huh?

- Oh. - I'm sorry, Dr. Samuels.

I couldn't get the door open. You closed it on my face.

I did not close the door on your face.

Alright, you closed it on the dummy's face.

- It's the same thing. - Sometimes I think it is.

I don't have to listen to this kind of..

- Well.. - E-excuse me.

A-about tonight, I'm sorry. But I-I forgot I can't be there.

You gave your word.

You're not going back on your word, are you?

- You're right. - Oh, good. I'm glad to hear it.

That's much better. Carry on!

I think we should discuss your attitude.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[instrumental music]

Um, Miss Bassler, Mr. Moore asked me to give you his paper.

He's sorry he couldn't be here tonight.

- Had a teacher's meeting. - Oh.

- Well, tell him he was missed. - Yeah.

Wow.

"Conversation between Richard Nixon and Elvis Presley."

Well, that Mr. Moore sure does have

an interesting mind, doesn't he?

Well, actually that's my paper.

Really?

Yeah, you know, most people don't know that Elvis

once approached Nixon and volunteered

to be an undercover drug agent.

Oh, I know. I know.

I'm working on a behind-the-scenes look

at the Nixon White House.

- Really? - Yeah.

Well, come on, I'll tell you about it over a cup of coffee.

Coffee?

- What kind? - Oh, I don't know.

Espresso?

Espresso. Wow.

[instrumental music]

I thought she had the hots for Mr. Moore.

She did. But now she's got the hots for me.

Remarkable. Mm-mm-mm.

- Oh. Hi, Alan, what's up? - Hey.

Well, man, I feel terrible.

I mean, Mr. Moore has gone out on a limb for me a lot of times.

[scoffs] Now I go and do this to him?

Yeah, but you didn't do anything to him.

I mean, you were there, she went for you.

You're in the clear.

Why do women have to find me so adorable?

It's probably your eyes.

They kind of got that lost puppy look.

- Hi, guys. - Mr. Moore.

Good morning, Mr. Moore.

[bell ringing]

Uh, I got to go. I-I don't wanna be late for class.

[instrumental music]

You guys really are great.

Really, very interesting papers.

You've got some original ideas here

that I wish I had thought of.

What do you think this means?

"Cute, but no conflict."

I, uh.. What two people did you choose for your conservation?

Oliver North and Genghis Khan.

They were both military men with strong family ties.

She obviously doesn't get my sense of humor.

Oh, I didn't know you had a sense of humor.

Oh, I-I didn't mean it like--

Come on, Arvid! Vidal Sassoon and Mamie Eisenhower?

[laughing]

It's a riot. Don't you get it?

[laughing]

(Linda) 'Oh, yes, here we are, Arvid.'

Albert Einstein and Madonna.

- Very nice. - He-he. Thanks.

Yeah, I was trying to identify with both of them.

'Cause, on one hand, I'm a mathematician

and, of course, on the other..

You're like a virgin.

Hey, Chuck.. Uh, Mr. Moore.

What did you get? Four stars, right?

Well, she seemed to like it.

You know, it's, uh, Jefferson and FDR.

Mm-hmm.

"Interesting, resourceful, thought-provoking."

Yeah, what kind of thoughts were you provoking, Mr. Moore?

- Do you mind? Do you mind? - Alright.

- How'd you do? - She-she liked it okay.

"Okay?" You're a terrific writer.

Maybe I just didn't hit this one out of the ballpark.

Well, if there aren't any, uh, questions

I'll see you all tomorrow night.

Actually, uh, I do have a question.

Sure, Charlie.

Would you like to have coffee with me tonight?

- Oh, yeah, I'd love to. - Okay.

Yeah. Oh, excuse me a minute.

Listen, Eric.

I meant what I wrote on your paper.

I mean, you're imaginative, you're brilliant.

You have a very special way of putting words together.

I just loved it. Really.

- Thank you. - Sure.

- Oh, I'll be ready in a minute. - Sure.

Eric, uh...listen.

It's great, but you could've told me.

Uh, I guess, I just didn't wanna make you feel bad.

Eric, it's a little night school class, okay?

I mean, so she liked your paper better than she liked mine.

So what? Who knows?

I mean, maybe she read your paper first

by the time she got to mine, she had a headache.

I mean, it could be a lot of reasons.

Oh, I think I know a real good reason.

Yeah?

She likes me.

Of course she likes you. Why shouldn't she?

No. She really likes me.

A lot.

By any chance, do-do you mean "Like"

other than in a student-teacher sense?

Uh-uh, let me put this in a vernacular of your hay day.

Hubba-hubba.

Hubba-hubba was my father's hay day, not mine.

O-okay. Out of sight. Is that better?

Look, Eric, what exactly has she said or done

to lead you to believe this?

Mr. Moore, last night, she asked me out for coffee.

- Espresso. - Espresso?

- How many? - One.

Two.

She gave me "Imaginative and brilliant"

up against your "Thought-provoking."

Come on, Mr. Moore, "Thought-provoking."

It's like saying you have a nice personality.

- All set. - Great.

Hey, what do you say we blow this pop stand

an-and get some coffee, huh?

Oh, well, actually I was supposed

to have some coffee with Charlie.

- Yeah. Espresso. Ahem. - Oh.

Well, Eric, why don't you come with us?

I mean, you don't mind, do you, Charlie?

Not if Eric wants to tag along.

No, no. That-that's okay. I don't wanna be a..

Third wheel?

You know, Linda, if you don't mind me coming along..

Let's go.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

And the things that we never suspected.

I mean, John Kennedy and Marilyn.

Bobby Kennedy and Marilyn.

You know, we were so naive then.

And I think that's why it's interesting to look back now.

You know, that-that's the funny thing

about these people from the '60s.

They think that was the only decade we ever had.

It was so long ago.

It wasn't that long ago.

Besides, you have to admit

that it was an exciting

and a turbulent era.

And that's why there is so much nostalgia for it now.

You know, nostalgia to me

is David Bowie's Thin White Duke Tour in '83.

You saw that tour?

Oh, it was fantastic, wasn't it?

- Oh. - Tell me about it.

Wow.

Well, not that I didn't love the '60s.

I mean, it was very complicated, scary.

Oh, sexy times.

- Yeah. - 'Yeah.'

Oh, excuse me, I've got to make a phone call.

Well, I suppose you think

you're making points or something.

Come on, Mr. Moore..

I mean, Linda and I have a lot more in common

than you and she could ever hope to have.

Don't you have some homework to do?

I mean, I'm sure you do, I assigned it.

Look, if it'll save you some embarrassment

you can leave now before Linda comes back.

I-I'll cover for you.

I'll tell her you had a stroke or something.

So, uh, where were we?

Well, I was saying to Eric, uh, it's gettin' kinda late

and maybe he should call his mother, you know

so she doesn't worry.

I haven't had to call home since I was 17.

Since last October?

It is getting kinda late though

and you are looking kinda tired, Mr. Moore.

Uh, you know what, guys? I'm tired.

Why don't we all call it a night, huh?

Would you like me to see you home?

Or I-I can give you a lift.

- In what, the bus? - Oh, that's right.

I forgot your Jaguar's parked right out front.

Uh, thanks anyways, but I'm not going straight home.

- I'll see you tomorrow, huh? - Okay, this is on me.

No, no, no, no. I'll get it, I'll get it.

Uh, sorry, guys, it's on me.

Thank you very much.

- Goodnight. - See you.

Goodnight.

Do you have any subway tokens?

No, you-you got any money?

[instrumental music]

Eric and Linda Bassler?

- You've got to be kiddin'! - Yeah!

That's what he says.

Wait a minute, what a story.

A beautiful woman finally comes into Mr. Moore's lonely life

and a young stud comes and steals her away.

Well, of course. You've read her books.

I mean, she's just the kind of tramp

that would be attracted to a jerk like Eric.

But, Simone, you dated Eric for months.

- 'Yeah!' - 'Ooh!'

Thank you, Sarah.

[Simone clears throat]

What?

Nothing, Mister Ungrateful

for all Mr. Moore's ever done for you.

Yeah, I mean, if you like older women

how about the one in the cafeteria with the hairnet?

[laughs]

- Morning, everyone. - 'Good morning, Mr. Moore.'

Mr. Moore, lookin' good!

Lookin' yart.

Yeah, hey, you know, the lady in the cafeteria

was askin' about you the other day.

Really? The one with the hairnet?

Yeah.

I'll keep her in mind.

[bell ringing]

Eric, uh..

Be right back.

[instrumental music]

I know that there's nothing between Linda and me.

You're giving her up?

I-I gotta hand it to you, Mr. Moore.

You are a class guy. Really.

Maybe we could double-date sometime.

You know, me and Linda, and-and you and whoever.

Okay?

Eric, I don't think you understand.

Uh, you know, there's nothing for me to give up.

And there's nothing for you to give up either.

- What? - I'm saying that..

I don't think there's anything more between you and Linda

than there is between me and Linda.

[scoffs] Look, look..

I understand, y-you're a little bitter.

It's just-it's just coming out of hurt.

Eric, think about this.

Now she got up to make a phone call.

And when she came back, we offered to see her home.

And she said, she wasn't going straight home.

Did it occur to you, she..

She might be going to someone else's home?

She could have been going anywhere, Mr. Moore.

- Her mother, h-her girlfriend. - Eric.

Uh, there's something old guys call

"Reading the signs."

Her sign says "Occupied."

Yeah, well, the sign I got was "Open for business."

[sighs]

She likes me, Mr. Moore. And I like her.

And I'm gonna tell her tonight.

- I wouldn't. - You lost. Be a man.

[instrumental music]

Hey, thanks, pal.

Uh, no more for me, thanks.

Well, it, uh, sure was nice of you

to ask me out for coffee, Eric.

Oh, it-it-it's the least I could do.

T-this is the best course I ever took in anything

and, and, uh, t-that includes sex education.

[chuckles] Oh, gee, thanks.

But I really think it has much more to do

with your fresh approach and your enthusiasm.

I mean, I, you really, you make it much more interesting for me.

Thank you. I kinda sensed you felt that way.

But I gotta tell you, we, we got a problem.

Oh, we have?

- Mr. Moore. - Mr. Moore?

- He's jealous. - Why?

I think he must be going through some sort of

mid-life crisis or something.

He-he keeps tryin' to convince me that

you're not interested in me.

Of course, I'm interested in you.

I mean, you're very interesting.

I thought it was kinda obvious.

You know, he can be a bitter and petty guy sometimes.

Oh, he didn't seem that way to me at all.

Uh, h-he keeps trying to do everything

he can to undermine our relationship.

Our relationship?

I presume, you mean, as in, uh, teacher and student.

Well, well, I mean..

You know, Eric, he should understand that

that I'm interested in you as a writer.

That I love your talent.

I mean, it's not as if I have any ideas

about dating you or anything like that.

Right. Uh, of course.

- So, what's he so upset about? - Yeah.

Did he really think I had designs on you?

And he was jealous?

[laughing]

It's absurd, isn't it?

I tell you, the guy has gone whacko.

Uh, well, you know maybe it was my fault, you know?

My boyfriend, he's always telling me that I..

That I'm too friendly with people.

That they'll misinterpret me.

- Your boyfriend told you that? - Hmm.

Yeah, he's told me that over and over again for years.

- Y-years? - Hm, yeah.

We go around and around about getting married.

But, you know, careers, all that.

Oh, hey, tell me about it.

So, uh, w-what is he doing? He works nights and stuff?

- Hm. Days and nights. - Yeah.

- Cab driver? - Hm. Neurosurgeon.

He has cases all over the world.

But, you know, I finally feel that I-I wanna have a baby.

We're gonna try to get it together.

Well, hey, what about you? You datin' anyone?

Um..

You know, if you're lonely, I have a niece

that's about your age..

- Uh, uh, that's okay. - No.

She likes rock concerts, hangin' out at the mall.

You know, I bet that you'd like her.

No, I-I'm fine. Really, uh..

When I'm not dating, it gives me more time to...write.

Well, listen, I hope you'll help, uh, Charlie understand.

- Oh, yeah. - Good.

I really have to go.

Oh, no, hey. L-let me get this. Let me get this.

Please, come on, I won't have you

spending your allowance on me.

[instrumental music]

- Morning, everyone. - Morning, Mr. Moore.

Um, Mr. Moore, I just want you to know

we all feel really sorry about what Eric did to you.

Eric and that, well, slut.

(Moore) 'Simone.'

Linda Bassler is definitely not a slut.

- She's not? - No.

Nor is she interested in either of us.

Fortunately, for Eric, before he pursued it

he realized that there were too many differences

for them to ever work it out.

Thanks, Mr. Moore.

But that's not exactly what happened either.

- She's gonna have a baby. - She's pregnant?

(all) What?

L-look, she's got a boyfriend.

They-they're gonna get married. H-he's a neurosurgeon.

She wants to have a baby.

Uh, I-I don't know what I was thinking about.

Mr. Moore tried to warn me off, but I wouldn't listen.

Till she finally had to use the big three, huh, Eric?

What big three?

Well, see, if you're not interested, but a guy

doesn't pick up on the early signs, like Mr. Moore did

and things get a little sticky

sometimes you have to hit 'em with..

one, boyfriend, two, getting married

and in extreme cases, like yours, number three, baby.

Works every time.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

It was humiliating.

I'm lucky she didn't pinch my cheek and give me a dollar.

How could I have misread her like that?

- You were right on. - I wasn't right on.

I made the same mistake you did. You know, a lot of guys do.

Sometimes when a woman is friendly to you

it simply means she wants to be friends.

Yeah, but at least you figured it out

before you tried to give her a hickey.

[theme music]