Original subtitles

[theme music]

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, Arvid, the boat trip yesterday

to Ellis Island was unbelievable.

Oh, great, and where was I? Downstairs, throwing up.

How could you've been sea sick? You weren't even on the boat.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Oh, I know, I threw up at home.

I OD'd on my sea sick pills.

- Oh! - Oh!

No, no, Arvid, you don't understand.

Simone fell overboard.

- Yeah! - Arvid, she nearly drowned.

Dennis jumped in the water

and had to pull her back on to the boat.

- 'Yeah!' - 'Yeah!'

Dennis, good morning.

How's the most wonderful person in the world?

You know, Dennis, I would've never pictured you

to jump in the water to save someone.

I-I mean, I've seen you jump into a wishing well

well to get some loose change before, but..

Alright, alright. Why don't we just forget about it?

It really wasn't that big of a deal.

Dennis, what you did was incredibly courageous.

Uh, there's no reason to be modest.

Although it is nice for a change.

[bell ringing]

Okay. I saved Simone's life.

Now, can we just forget about it and start class, please?

Oh, ah, just one last thing.

Um, Dennis, I know what you did yesterday.

- You do? - Oh, well, part of it.

I-I remember leaning over the railing

when the ship lurched, and then I was in the water

and then I just blacked out.

When I came to, you were pulling me out of the water.

'Well, that's all I can remember.'

I want you to know if there's ever

anything I can do to pay you back

just name it.

Thank you, Simone. It was very, very nice.

Okay, now, who can tell me

the name of the doctor who proved

that yellow fever was transmitted by mosquitoes?

Dennis.

Anything?

Dennis, when Simone said she would do anything for you

she didn't mean anything as in anything.

Yes, I did.

Wait a minute, we went out for months

and we didn't do anything.

Eric, we did lots of things.

Yeah, but not anything.

Why don't we just forget about the fact that

I dove into those icy, raging waters

and risked my life just to save yours?

I wanna date you.

Simone, no!

You're not gonna go out with Dennis, are you?

Don't be ridiculous, Darlene.

Of course, she's not gonna go out with him. Ha!

Who are you, her father?

Don't tell her who she can go out with.

- I'd love to go out, Dennis. - With him?

Young lady, I forbid it!

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

"Ignoring his own safety, young Blunden

"plunged into the raging waters.

"'Sure I knew I was risking my life,' said Blunden.

"'But when I saw the dorsal fin of that great white shark

I knew I had to act.'" Unquote.

The only sharks they have in New York Harbor are loan sharks.

- Yeah. - Okay, listen to this.

"And how was Blunden rewarded for his heroism?

"The teenage honor student replied

"'Let's just say that Miss Foster seemed to enjoy

the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.'"

Miss Foster's gonna give him fist-to-mouth resuscitation.

Yeah!

Here. I bought a bunch of extra copies for you.

Oh, Simone, this is great. Thanks.

There's a lot of guys I wanna send these to.

Hey, why don't you put on some bright red lipstick

and kiss my picture.

Hey, Dennis, why don't you put on some

bright red lipstick and kiss my--

Eric!

It's okay, Simone.

He's obviously just tortured by the memory

of what he didn't do that fateful day.

Hey, I helped her back on the deck.

Yeah, sure you did. And thanks for wringing out her socks.

- That was a big help. - They were soaked.

Simone, we're still on for tonight, right?

- Dinner and a movie? - Absolutely.

- Your treat. - Of course.

Great.

Better take out a loan.

Dennis, so, you're goin' out with Simone tonight?

- Is that right? - Yeah, that's right.

Fine, fine.

Well, if the words "Rings of Saturn

occulting a star of the 3rd magnitude"

don't mean anything to you.

Hmm, that's right, Arvid.

We were supposed to go to the planetarium tonight, weren't we?

I'm sorry.

Hey, what if I fix you up with somebody else?

Ah.. Hey, Jasper.

You're, uh, into astronomy, aren't you?

- Yeah. - Oh, great, a mercy nerd.

This is so humiliating.

Come on, Arv, I'm sure you two have a lot in common.

Oh, well.

Hey, what's your favorite moon of Jupiter?

- Io. - Io?

Give me a break.

I know, I know, it seems a little pedestrian.

But after all, Callisto is at least active geologically.

Ganymede is nothing but craters.

You can get that locally.

I never thought of it that way.

Hey, what's your favorite color?

- Ultraviolet. - Really?

- Mine's infrared. - Really?

[laughing]

You crack me up.

You and what army?

[laughing]

Aristotle, you're supposed to be my boyfriend, right?

Right. So, how come you never rescue me?

For what? I can't imagine anything that scary.

Are you trying to say I'm not gentle and vulnerable?

Hey! Don't you walk away from me, buster!

"Now, in order to eradicate the mosquitoes

"the engineers in Panama had to get rid of any standing water.

"From reservoirs, rain barrels.

"Even holy water was removed from altars.

"Oil was poured on to lakes and ponds.

Which proves that oil slicks can be good."

[bell ringing]

(Moore) Thanks, Alan. Alright, I'll see you all tomorrow.

Remember, there's a test, and, uh..

Dennis, I believe you owe me a paper.

Oh, yeah, Mr. Moore, I was gonna do it

but I was feeling a little flu-ish.

Probably from, ah, diving into those icy, raging waters

to save Simone, but I don't wanna talk about that anymore.

Why don't you try diving into the Panama Canal

and see what you come up with, okay?

- By Monday. - Yes.

Oh, um, Dennis.

You don't feel well? Do you want me to do your report for you?

Hey, that would be great, uh, but wrong.

- Very, very wrong. - Alright.

Oh, well, are you sure you still wanna go out with me tonight?

Yeah, sure. Pick me up at 7:00.

Okay.

- Simone. - Uh, yeah, Mr. Moore?

I-I-I know you feel...grateful..

What Dennis did was a remarkable thing.

- Remarkable? - Yeah.

Mr. Moore, if Dennis Blunden hadn't been born

if he hadn't been standing at the railing that day

throwing cherry bombs at fish..

...I wouldn't be alive.

Well, that may be true, but you needn't be

emotionally indentured to him forever.

You don't understand.

I was struggling for my life that day.

I remember being underwater

and trying to come up for air

then I must've bumped into something

because I lost consciousness.

I just remember thinking, "I'm going to die."

And you know what, Mr. Moore? I did die.

The Simone Foster that I was

is lying at the bottom of the New York Harbor somewhere.

I'm a different person, Mr. Moore.

I've been given a second life.

I can see the beauty, and the grace

and the goodness in everything.

Even in Dennis.

Well, that's a beautiful attitude, Simone..

...if you're dating Gandhi.

- I'll see you tonight, Dennis. - Alright.

- Oh, ah, Simone. - Yeah.

Ah, do you know that long, brown dress that you wear sometimes?

- Uh-huh. - Don't wear that one.

Okay.

Dennis.

Um, before you go out with Simone tonight

I'd like to talk to you.

Hey, this isn't gonna be a safe-sex speech, is it?

You know, she is in a very, very vulnerable state now.

- She is? - Yeah.

She feels that she owes you a lot more than she owes you.

Yeah? Alright.

Thanks a lot for the little talk, Mr. Moore.

Dennis.

Look, have you ever heard of the, uh

Chinese proverb that says, "If you save someone's life

you're responsible for them forever?"

Yeah, sure.

Well, it means you take care of them

not take advantage of them.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I guess I never really thought

about it that way before.

But then again, why would I?

I'm not Chinese.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

Dennis, I had such a good time tonight.

And the movie was great and dinner..

Oh, and I love my little wind-up teeth with feet.

[laughing]

I forgot, I let you pay for this.

Oh, that's okay. Forget it, Simone.

No, no! I said the entire evening was my treat.

Now, how much was it? A quarter?

Well, yeah, but I only gave the guy a nickel.

Well, they-they sound like quarters

when you drop 'em into that little tin cup.

Stop, I'm kidding.

You know, Simone, I'd say this was a really killer first date.

N-now, here's what I got in mind for the next couple of months.

We'll go out, say, twice a week.

'And at lunch I'll sit with you, instead of sitting with Arvid.'

But he's cool, he's got Jasper for a lunch buddy.

And then I figure, after a couple of weeks

we'll announce to everyone that we're going steady.

Is that okay?

- Fine. - Yeah.

Ah, forget it, Simone.

You're only doing this 'cause I saved your life.

You don't wanna go out with me.

Oh, no, Dennis, I really like you.

Hmm. I-I don't feel right about it.

I mean, uh.. What if I hadn't saved your life?

- I mean, what then? - But you did.

Dennis, two days ago

you put your life at risk to save another's.

- How can I not like that? - Hmm.

Oh, it's the ultimate test of honor..

...of decency, of goodness.

Face it, Dennis, you're good.

Yeah?

Okay.

I'm good.

So, um, what do you w-wanna do now?

I don't know. What do you wanna do now?

Ah, well, I-I was thinking, uh..

...that I-I, that I would maybe kiss you goodnight.

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay. Thanks, Simone.

- Ah, Dennis! - Oh! I'm so-I'm sorry.

Ah, um..

[chuckling]

Ah..

Yeah.

- Alright? - Yeah, fine. Great.

- Thanks. - Yeah, well, goodnight.

Yeah, ah, goodnight, Simone.

I'll-I'll, I'll see you, uh..

So then, um

Dennis and Simone went out on deck

and a few minutes later

I decided to go out on deck, too.

- Why? - Why?

What difference does that make?

Our-our insurance carrier needs it, Charlie, I'm sorry.

Why did you go out on the deck?

Yeah, what are you covering up?

Alright, I went out on deck because

I was starting to feel a little sea sick.

[laughing]

Oh, I suppose neither of you

have ever experienced motion sickness.

Never.

And I square dance.

Tell me, why didn't you tell Simone

to stay away from the rail, huh?

Because, by this time I could see

she had already fallen into the water.

I mean, I could also see that Dennis

had jumped in, he was trying to save her..

I was running back to the stern, and I reached for the..

- What? - Life preserver.

- What about it? - It wasn't there.

I mean, I-I, I remembered checking before

we pulled away from the dock

but this time it was gone.

Boy, this guy will say anything to wiggle off the old hook.

Don't all seniors have to take swimming?

- Yes. - Yeah.

I wanna check Simone's records.

Okay.

Well, perhaps you can tell me..

Diggle went out again?

- No way. - Uh-huh, it's true.

I spoke to Simone over the weekend

and they are officially dating.

Oh, by the way, Eric

Sarah called me after Simone called her

and Sarah told me that Simone told her

that she kissed him goodnight.

- Mm-hmm. - What?

N-not that I care.

Gee, I-I wonder what Dennis has

that you don't have, Eric.

Look, this is just Simone

going through one of her Simone things.

It's just a phase, hey

I don't got to prove anything to anybody.

Uh, Viki.

You wanna go out with me?

Oh, I would, Eric, but I would just be doing it

because I feel sorry for you.

And that would wind up deflating your male ego

even worse than it already is.

So, for your own good

I'll just have to say no.

Thank you.

Oh, I-I, I would love to see "Phantom Of The Opera," Dennis

but I can't afford it after Friday night.

Oh, Simone, come on, you don't think

I'd ask you to pay for me again, do you?

No, of course not.

- We'll go Dutch. - Oh..

I'm sorry, but they are the most bizarre couple I have ever seen.

Yeah.

That's what I said.

So he said to me, "You call that a Bloch

and Bohr molecular model?"

He didn't!

He most certainly did.

[laughing]

So I said, "That's no Bloch and Bohr."

- "That's a...Stuart program." - Stuart program.

[laughing]

No, I take it back, they are the most bizarre couple

I have ever seen.

[bell ringing]

Good morning, everyone.

Listen, before we get started I got some study aids here

for this test coming up, so come and get 'em.

- Good morning, Simone. - Good morning.

Here you go, pass them out.

How did your weekend go?

Oh, fine, Mr. Moore.

And I think you should know.

You were wrong about Dennis. He was a perfect gentleman.

Well, I'm very pleased to hear that.

I guess I was wrong about you, too.

About me?

Well, I had you pegged for a poor swimmer

but, uh, I find out

that you're an A plus student in swim class.

Oh, yeah. So?

So, I would think you would've been able

to swim back to the boat alone.

Oh, Mr. Moore, I told you

something hit me on the head.

What? Just try to remember.

Well, you know, I think I do remember seeing

something out of the corner of my eye

coming towards me.

Yeah. From the boat?

Yeah. I guess so.

[instrumental music]

While the Panama Canal was

the outstanding engineering achievement of its time

it was subsequently rendered outmoded

by what engineering feat? Yeah.

Modern super tankers can't fit through it.

Good.

[bell ringing]

- Okay. See you tomorrow. - 'See ya.'

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, um, Simone.

Do you wanna come over to my house and study tonight?

Oh, no, thanks, Sarah.

Um, Dennis and I are gonna study at my place.

Simone, have you considered shock treatments?

Oh, um, Mr. Moore.

- Here's that report I owe you. - Thanks, Dennis.

Listen, you got a minute?

I'd like to talk about the accident on the boat.

- Oh, I have to run. - Oh, okay.

It's just that I've been feeling guilty about..

...something.

Uh, guilty?

What do you have to feel guilty about?

Well, that's what I keep telling myself, but you know

somehow I still feel as though

I am partly responsible for what happened.

- You know that feeling? - No.

Perhaps I should've checked the safety equipment

onboard more carefully.

Do you realize there was no life preserver

in the, in the stern?

Huh!

Ah, well, you know, Mr. Moore

I don't really think that you should take

all the blame for that.

I mean, the people who rented us the boat

probably should've checked that out.

Yeah, you're probably right, Dennis.

That's why you had to jump in to save her, huh?

I mean, normally you would just

grab the nearest life preserver

and throw it to her, wouldn't you?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Hey, I'm no hero.

Unless I have to be.

And she is such a strong swimmer.

I mean, if only something hadn't struck her on the head

just as she was surfacing.

Yeah.

I wonder what that was?

Could it have been that great white shark that you spotted?

Alright, Columbo, you got me.

I accidentally hit her on the head with a life preserver.

But I didn't do it on purpose.

I know you didn't.

You were just trying to save her life.

Right, e-exactly, she was swimming along

and I threw it and I hit her in the head

and-and granted I almost drowned her

but I didn't really do anything bad.

That's right, I agree you didn't.

You were doing everything you were supposed to do.

Yeah..

- I was? - Yes.

Oh. Okay, so that's it then.

Well, that's it, except for Simone.

Well, she still feels indebted to you for her life.

Don't you think it would be a good idea to tell her

that you had to save her

because you almost killed her trying?

I mean, just take her off the hook a little bit.

Hmm. Not really, no.

Well, her memory's bound to come back sooner or later

and she'll recall everything herself.

[instrumental music]

Simone..

...do you remember the day that you fell off the boat?

Oh, of course, I'll never forget it, Dennis.

Yeah, but..

Do you remember how you said that when you were in the water

you blacked out?

And nearly died, except for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um..

Do you remember how you said it felt like something hit ya?

Yeah, something white and round.

I wonder what that could've been.

Huh...Simone, I want you to remember

how you're always saying that you love

all living creatures great and small.

It was it-it--

Did you remember the time that you spent 20 minutes

trying to peel that fly off of that No-Pest strip?

You hit me on the head with a life preserver.

Shh! It was an accident.

I was trying to help ya.

Of course, you were swimming along pretty good till then.

It's kind of ironic, isn't it?

[chuckles]

You jerk! Why didn't you tell me?

I was going to, Simone. I was gonna, but..

But people started calling me a hero

and-and you started liking me

and I guess I was just enjoying it.

Enjoying it?

- Enjoying it? - Well, yeah.

You made me kiss your newspapers.

- Yeah. - Oh, no.

Ten million people read that

you gave me mouth-to-mouth, and I liked it.

[spitting]

Honey, please, we're going steady.

I dated you!

I kissed you.

- Y-you owe me $67. - Simone, I..

[groaning]

Simone. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Are you okay, Dennis? - Yeah, I'm fine.

- You sure? - Yeah.

Well, I, uh..

I guess you told her, huh?

Yeah, thanks for the advice, Mr. Moore.

This is all his fault, Mr. Moore.

- Oh, really? Who told you that? - He did.

Exactly. W-what does that tell you about him?

Oh, well..

Well, that he's honest-ish.

And that he did save your life.

Alright, so he's sort of brave.

- And? - And..

Well, good. Oh, nuts!

What's the matter, Simone?

I guess this means we're still friends.

Well, I guess it also means my work here is finished.

Hi-ho, Silver.

You mean it, Simone? You still like me?

Yeah, Dennis.

Yeah, but you mean, like as in

"Hi, Dennis, how's it going?" like, as opposed to say

like, like-like.

Well, Dennis, it never really was like

like-like between us.

[sighs] Yeah, I know.

I guess I knew it when I kissed ya.

I mean, I think you liked the mouth-to-mouth

resuscitation a lot better.

When you weren't, well, you know..

...conscious.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry, Simone, I've been acting

like a jerk lately, I..

Can you forgive me?

Sure. What are friends for?

Oh, except for the $67 you owe me.

Oh, sure.

Get in line.

- No. No. - I'm telling you, Arvid.

Sir Isaac Newton stole the theory of calculus from him.

Oh, sure, side with Leibniz. You know, that's just like you.

It wasn't proven then and it isn't proven now.

- Why don't we ask Dennis? - Okay.

[clears throat] Ah, Dennis.

Who came up with the calculus?

- Was it Leibniz or Newton? - Leibniz.

Oh, great, thanks very much.

Can you believe that letter that Newton wrote

to the Royal Society?

Hey, if you're a Leibniz fan

I got something to tell you.

- Last year.. - Leibniz.

What a couple of nerds.

Hey, fellas, wait up!

[theme music]