Original subtitles

[theme music]

I hate home-ec.

If God had meant for me to sew

he wouldn't have given me credit cards.

I really enjoy it.

Uh, it gives me a chance to be wild, uninhibited

totally un-Simone. Look.

Simone, that looks just like the dress you have on.

[chuckles]

Me? In yellow?

(Simone) 'Ha-ha. I like that.'

Hey, Viki. How'd your dress turn out?

- Yeah. - Oh. I'm not really sure.

Oh, come on, Viki

it's "Sew and tell" time.

What do you think?

Well, Viki, I think if you can find three matching gloves

you'll look fabulous.

- Fab. - Fab, Viki.

That's not a sleeve, it's a turtleneck.

Yeah, for a giraffe.

Well, it just got outta hand.

Why do we need to take home-ec, anyway?

It's not like something I'm gonna use later

like the de Broglie Theory of Wave-Particle mechanics.

Ah, Viki, I think I can help you out here.

Mr. Moore?

Oh, I'm sorry, Viki. I'm not very good at that sort of thing.

I'm so bad, I have to send my shirts out to be buttoned.

Give me a chance, Viki.

Look, how do you know I can't help you? Just 'cause I'm a guy?

Alright, I was being sexist. I don't know that you can't sew.

I just have grave reservations.

Yeah, well, you just meet me in the home-ec room

after school, okay?

Okay, I'll give you a chance.

[bell ringing]

So, we continue to think that the Soviet and American systems

are polar opposites, and yet, the early writings of Lenin

were inspired and influenced by Thomas Paine

and many other American Founding Fathers.

[bell ringing]

Okay, uh, for tomorrow, chapters 12 through 15, okay?

- Yeah. - Eric.

Do you really think you can help me fix my dress?

Don't worry about it.

Whatever you do, don't fix those jeans.

Don't worry about it. Ha.

Eric? Can we have a little chat?

Oh, sure, Mr. Moore. What's on your mind?

Well, what's on my mind is what's on your mind.

Uh, I mean, Viki needs some help sewing

and suddenly you're winding your bobbin.

(Eric) Hey.

Mr. Moore, if you were blonde, beautiful and couldn't sew

I'd do the same for you.

Well, I'm flattered, Eric, but, uh

if you can't help her, don't waste her time.

Hey. Who says I can't help her?

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

I never should've made this out of wool.

All those poor little bald sheep

walking around because of my vanity.

Talk about bad karma.

- Uh, it's not that bad. - No?

How would you like to have all the hair

shaved off your body?

By candlelight.

Eric, I really have to get this dress made.

- And I am here to help. - Yeah, right.

Look, step aside. Let's see.

The first rule of sewing is

to match the number of sleeves

with the actual number of limbs.

Otherwise, it's like buying a pair of hats.

So, let me take this here, try to get like a straight cut.

No. That's got all the..

- It's gonna unravel now. - It's no problem.

You just have to whipstitch the cut ends.

What stitch?

Uh, whipstitch.

Hey, you really do know about this stuff.

A little. But don't tell anybody.

I understand. But how did you learn about sewing?

Oh, well, when I was a kid my mom used to take in piecework

for some of the fashion houses down in Seventh Avenue.

She used to put me to work, you know, painting stuff

cutting patterns. Heh.

I can do things with a pair of painting shears

that'll make your head swim.

See, you just sew, sew, sew.

You know, I like working this closely with you.

And maybe when we're done here.. No, no, no. No, no, no, no.

You, you know what? Why don't we start all over, okay?

Totally new fabric, new design.

New-new everything.

- Okay? - Okay.

Let's see.

You know, you know how I see you?

I see you in a gownless evening strap.

I-I mean, a strapless evening gown.

[chuckles]

I could see it, maybe hanging

straight through here

add a peplum.

A peplum? Isn't that what babies eat?

No, no, it's not.

It, it's that thing that hangs down in the back.

Uh, like a pannier, you know?

That, that's not you, that's not you.

You know what? How about a Russian Gypsy outfit?

Made out of velvet. Yeah.

A-a black velvet bolero jacket

with some lace inserts.

Uh, maybe some epaulettes

with pompom fringe?

You know? I thought you just called me in here to hit on me.

Shh. I'm thinking, I'm thinking here. Um..

How about a bubble skirt? Yeah, yeah.

A, a bubble skirt made out of gold

with some black brocade and, and, and I'll

and I'll trim it with some bullion and bugle beads.

T-this will be great. Trust me, okay?

[instrumental music]

You know, Eric, this routine you're pulling with Viki

is pretty underhanded and deceitful.

Good work.

I can't believe you pulled it off this long.

You've had her going for days.

Yeah, I mean, pretending to help her with her sewing project.

What a concept. What a scam.

What a man.

Wait, wait. Unless, he really is sewing.

Oh, yeah, we didn't think of that.

Me? Sew? No way.

- What makes you say that? - Hey, hey. Here she comes.

Hi, guys. Oh, Eric.

I thought you're gonna put the stretch lace on my hem.

Uh, yo, guys, could you excuse me?

This is a little personal here.

- Ooh, stretch lace problem. - Yeah, yeah!

- What's with them? - Ah, you know guys.

Yeah, that's why I like you. You're different.

Mm, maybe not that different.

[chuckles] You know what I mean.

I feel really comfortable with you.

You know, I get the feeling that this could

turn into something more than just a friendship.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Uh, I gotta get going. See you this afternoon.

Bye, Eric.

- Hi, Viki. - Hi.

How's the, uh, home-ec project coming?

Great. Eric has been a big help. He's done all the sewing.

He's even designed me a whole new outfit

with the bustier and epaulettes

and a whole lot of other things I've never even heard of.

Oh, I feel awful.

Well, you needn't. I mean, I've never heard of a bustier either.

No, it, it's just that I promised Eric

I wouldn't say anything.

A lie like that could carry on into your next life.

And your life after that.

Yep, yep. Well, your secret's safe with me.

Yeah, but in my next life, you could be a blabbermouth.

[instrumental music]

Psst. Viki.

Oh, hi, Eric. You ready to go work on my dress?

Shh.

I finished it myself at lunch.

Couldn't stop myself. I, I went on a bead binge.

I guess you can't string just one, huh?

[laughs]

That, that was a dress joke, Viki. For-forget it.

[gasps] Eric, this is beautiful!

Put it away. And for God's sakes, don't muss it.

But I can't believe how great this dress is.

It's sure to win the competition.

Excuse me? Competition?

The Junior Fashion Festival.

My home-ec teacher's gonna enter

the best dress from the school.

This one is sure to win.

No kidding. That'd be great.

You know what, i-if, if this does win anything

you take all the credit.

I can't take credit for your work. I didn't do anything.

Come on, you did a lot. You, you bought the fabric.

And, and what's a dress without fabric?

Mostly thread.

Oh, I get it. You're afraid of what the guys might say.

But you've done such great work. You should get what you deserve.

Viki..

...if anyone finds out that I made this dress

I'm gonna be the laughing stock of the school.

Well, okay. I'll take credit for it, if you want me to.

Thank you.

And don't drag the dress.

You'll knock off my beads.

They're very delicate.

[instrumental music]

Dr. Samuels. Another announcement?

No, I'm here because I missed you.

Of course, I have an announcement.

Gang, one of your very own has been selected to compete

in the city's Junior Fashion Festival.

(Dennis) 'Who, who?'

Viki Amory, let me be the first to congratulate you, dear.

[chuckles]

[applauds]

[all applauding]

How about our favorite surprise announcer, huh?

Guys, I really don't deserve this.

Uh, yes, you do, Viki.

Come on, I watched you work hard on this. Way to go.

Viki won? Are you kidding?

Uh, well, just the last time we saw it

it had three heads.

Three arms.

Yeah, I mean, how did you get the hang of it all of a sudden?

- 'Yeah.' - 'Yeah.'

I guess, a little fairy helped me.

I thought you helped her, Eric.

No, no, no, I-I didn't mean, uh..

I guess she meant "Fairy" in the leprechaun sense.

[bell ringing]

- Goodbye, Mr. Moore. - Good day, Mr. Moore.

I really need to talk to you, Mr. Moore.

Yeah, I know.

What am I gonna do? I promised Eric I wouldn't tell anybody.

Well, that's Eric's problem. You have a different problem.

- I do? - Yeah.

It seems you cheated on a home-ec project.

You're right. It was cheating, wasn't it?

I never really thought of it that way.

So, what're you gonna do now?

Eric, I can't do this.

[sighs] I cannot accept credit for your work.

- His work? - His work?

Shh. Will you keep it down?

I-it's not my work, it's her work.

Eric, you made that dress!

- Huh? - Eric can sew?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Eric cannot sew. Come on.

I don't know the difference between

a, a whipstitch and a double backcross

through hatchmen.

- See? - Admit it, Eric.

You're a fabulous designer.

- No, I am not. - Yes, you are.

He has an incredible eye for fabrics.

- Ooh! - Ooh!

No, no, no, no, no.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Well, uh, when do we see your spring line, Eric?

Huh. That's Mr. Eric to you.

You shouldn't try to hide it. You have a great talent.

- Yeah! - Fabulous talent!

Alright, alright, alright. I admit it, okay?

I made the dress. I can sew.

I'm better than any of the other girls in home-ec

and I'm proud of it!

[laughing]

I-I don't mean girls, I mean guys. You know what I mean.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Oh, hey, Eric.

I didn't get a chance to congratulate you

on the fashion contest.

Yeah, gee, Eric. You must be very secure in your masculinity.

To be able to express your sensitive side

so, uh, effeminately.

I'm not sensitive, okay?

Yeah, guys, he only did it to hit on Viki.

Hey, Eric, uh, Viki must be very special to you.

That's so sweet.

Hey, I'm not sweet. Read my lips.

- I am not sweet. - Okay.

Eric. Where's Eric?

Sarah and I need you

to settle an argument for us.

Now, I wanted to buy a Pepito fringe

but Sarah says that the poof is making a comeback.

- What do you think? - About what?

Pepito or poof?

Either, both, I don't care. I don't wanna talk about it.

Gosh, if he feels that strongly about it

they're probably both passe.

Mm-hmm.

Yo, Eric. Eric.

Can you suggest an outfit that I can wear

for metal shop to a date

with just a change of accessories?

Look, will you all just leave me alone!

I don't wanna talk about it. Thank you.

Come on, Eric. What's wrong with you?

W-what's the problem here?

I don't know, we were just talking

and all of a sudden, Eric had a hissy fit.

- Alright, that's it, man. - Hey, hey, hey.

Eric, come on. Hey. Please, sit down.

(Moore) Thank you.

Look, I-I-I can understand, uh, everybody wanting to tease Eric.

I mean, he's an easy target, right?

Guy has a talent for designing women's dresses.

- He's great, yeah! - Yes.

Of course, if he decides to pursue

fashion as a career, then he's gonna have to

fly to Paris and Rome, all over the world.

Mingle with the rich and famous.

[scoffs] Be inundated with beautiful models.

Mm-hmm.

And then there is all that money he's gonna make.

Money?

Eat your hearts out, macho men.

So, you guys agree that it's okay

to make fun of Eric designing dresses

because he's gonna make a lot of money

and beautiful women are gonna chase him, is that it?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

So, it's also okay to make fun of his masculinity

because we know he's straight, is that it?

- Well, yeah. - Sure.

- What if he was gay? - But I'm not.

Eric, we'll come to that in a moment, okay?

What if he was?

What if he was gay?

Would that make his dresses any less beautiful?

Would it make Eric less of a person?

I get the point, Mr. Moore, I mean, I know we've been

giving him a hard time, but we were just playing.

- 'Yeah.' - Yo, it's okay, man.

Is it?

Now, you have a talent

and it's something you really enjoy doing

and yet you're trying to keep it a secret.

So you are as culpable as all of them.

Hey, I kept it a secret

'cause I didn't want them ragging on me.

You kept it a secret

because you're buying into the same tired concept

of sexual stereotypes.

'See, there's nothing wrong with'

men who sew or women firefighters.

There are no jobs that are gender-specific. Okay?

Except, maybe wet-nursing.

[instrumental music]

Eric, I have great news.

Watch it, Viki. You're starting up dust bunnies.

Listen, um, this afternoon

I'll need you for some alterations

and tomorrow, make sure you're at the Hotel Pierre by noon.

I'll need at least an hour for the final fitting.

No, I cannot model your dress for you tomorrow.

I have to finish my home-ec project. That's the great news.

I asked my home-ec teacher, and she said, as long as I turn

the assignment in by Monday, she won't flunk me.

Viki, I can't get another model.

This dress was custom-designed for you.

This show's important to me.

Passing home-ec is important to me.

[gasps] Will you forget about that tired high school home-ec project?

I-I helped you, now you're not gonna help me?

Viki, do you have any idea

what this could do to a person's karma?

I'll be there.

Hey, Mr. Moore.

[chuckles] You know, I gotta thank you.

Before, I was really embarrassed by this whole thing

but now, I see how much money there is in the rag business.

Oh, and, I-I said that?

Not in so many words.

Well, I thought you wanted to be a writer.

Yeah, I do. This, this is just a one-shot deal.

Look, I show my dress, right?

Someone big sees it, they're gonna sell it worldwide.

Even if I only get a buck, a unit, I'm gonna be rich.

And then, I can write in leisure.

Eric, i-it takes years of training

to become a successful designer.

It's like anything else, uh, it takes years of hard work

to make it look as easy as it looks.

- This is different. - I don't think so.

It is! Look, this comes easy to me.

So why shouldn't I capitalize on it?

Look, who knows, Mr. Moore, I may be a genius.

[instrumental music]

Viki, try not to bunch the fabric.

Okay, okay, Eric.

[gasps]

- What are you doing? - I'm sitting.

Well, don't. You'll wrinkle.

Excuse me, Mr. Genius.

When is this thing gonna be over?

I have a home-ec project to sew.

Not to mention my physics homework

my English lit, and my calculus.

Look, relax. I'll be right back, okay?

- Hi, Viki. - Hi.

Mr. Moore, I am so glad that you're here.

Oh, got a few butterflies, I guess.

I do. Oh, it's great, isn't it? I love fashion shows.

The glamor, the excitement.

Where's the dip?

If you mean Eric, he's over there.

- I mean, the food. - Down the hall.

That is such a fabulous dress. It's so professional.

It has the panache of an Ungaro

and yet the quiet authority of a Chanel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I'm hungry, let's go, huh? Come on.

- You look really nice, Viki. - Thank you.

Hey, Mr. Moore.

Viki, please do not cross your arms.

You're gonna crush the velvet.

And listen, uh, one other thing.

I've been observing some real models, and, well..

they walk with kind of a slouch, you know?

Kind of like, like this.

Okay? See if you can do that.

Because it will de-emphasize your bodice

and put more emphasis on my outfit.

- The dip. - No, slouch.

Sorry, Mr. Moore, it's nuts around here.

No, no, I understand, Eric, uh..

Certainly looking very en courant.

What are you saying? I'm effeminate?

No, it's okay, 'cause, 'cause I'm fine with that.

Look, I-I-I know you're frustrated here.

It's your first dress, your first fashion show, and..

Well, there's a lot of pressure.

But I don't think you have to take it all out on Viki.

'After all, uh, this did get started'

because you wanted to make sure she liked you.

Mr. Moore, this is way bigger than me and Viki.

Uh, I don't think so.

[sighs] Look, no offense.

But I think you're a little out of your league here, Mr. Moore.

I mean, in the classroom, hey, wisdom like Solomon.

But this, this is the fashion world, Mr. Moore.

- It's a whole new ball of wax. - Yeah.

Still watch and learn, huh?

Exactly.

Uh, Viki, please rise.

Now, all you have to do is smile..

...and be a walking coat rack.

I am not a walking coat rack, I'm a human being.

And I'm sick and tired of you telling me how to walk, talk

sit, breathe, how not to sit, and how to slouch.

Yes, but you're wearing my dress.

Your dress? This whole thing started out as my project.

Yes, but it's my dress. It's got my imprint.

It's got my style.

Yeah? Well, now, it's got my style.

- Look what you did to my dress! - No, my dress!

Mr. Moore, do something!

I'm watching and learning.

Well, she's destroying my dress.

- No, my dress! - No.

- My dress. - Who are you?

I'm Max Benedetto, President of Princess Morning Star Dresses

and you, cupcake, are wearing one.

Ooh, that's my dress.

- I made it. - Who are you?

Mr. Eric.

Let me tell you something, Mr. Eric.

That dress is my Russian Gypsy model

4-7-6 winter line of '81.

Excuse me, maybe I can inject a node of sanity into this.

- Who are you? - Uh, I'm Mister..

[chuckles] Charlie, uh..

And Eric, here, is one of my high school students.

Now this dress started out as a class project, and..

Well, I'm sure that if he accidentally copied your design

he's got a logical explanation for it.

Is that correct, Mr. Eric?

1981 Russian Gypsy outfit?

[scoffs] My mom must've made a hundred of those

when she was taking in piecework..

...for Princess Morning Star.

I can understand how this could happen, kid.

You know, you're not a bad knock-off artist.

Come and see me when you graduate.

In the meantime

if you ever rip me off again

I'll break your knee caps.

Nobody messes with Princess Morning Star.

- Hmm? - Mm-hmm.

Nice chatting with you, Mr. Charlie.

Ciao.

Look, what can I say?

- Will you ever forgive me? - No.

Come on, I- I gotta be able to do something.

Nothing.

W-well, what if I help you with your home-ec project?

No! Absolutely not. I'm gonna do this one on my own.

Okay.

Oh, but there's just one thing.

I'm working on this pair of slacks

and, well, I think they might have one too many buttocks.

I can help with that. Definitely.

[instrumental music]

You'll never guess what happened. We met Mr. Blackwell.

And he gave Dr. Samuels a few fashion tips.

He said I looked like a recycling bin with lapels.

Ciao, kids.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]