Original subtitles

[theme music]

I think it's great that you like a guy, T.J.

Which one is it?

It's, uh.. I-I-I, I can't say.

Oh, come on, T.J.

Well, the really cute one.

- Eric? - No.

He is cute in a interesting sort of way.

- Alex. - No.

He's cute and interesting, he has weird hair

and he is someone who might actually go out with me.

Arvid?

No. It's Aristotle.

Oh, good, because I was down to either him

or the skin head with the snake tattoo.

[chuckles]

Well, how do I get him to notice me?

Oh, just go talk to him.

Well, what do I say?

Anything. Just say the first thing that comes to your mind.

- Aristotle! - Yes.

Where did you get a dumb name like Aristotle?

What did I say?

[bell ringing]

- Hey! - Hi.

Okay, before we get started I wanna remind you

that your essays are due before the end of the week.

- Arvid, are you okay? - Are you alright, Arvid?

- Arvid, are you alright? - Arvid..

What's the matter?

- My, my, my.. - What, what?

You acting like somebody died or something.

[gasps]

- Died? - Who-who died?

Someone in your family?

Your mom?

Uh, y-your aunt.

- Uncle? - Your grandpa?

[indistinct chatter]

Arvid, who died?

My dog!

[instrumental music]

Well..

[instrumental music]

Hey! Arvid, about your dog..

Yeah, poor Einstein.

Yeah, well, uh, I just wanted to tell you

I'm really sorry about him dying and, and..

Oh, what am I saying, I'm not sorry.

That dog hated me.

He did not. Einstein loved you.

No! He loved my leg.

Listen, Arvid, um, we are all sorry about your..

Most of us are sorry about your dog.

Thank you, Mr. Moore.

Somebody tell me the Republican campaign slogan for 1928.

"A chicken in every pot and two cars in every garage."

That's right.

Somewhat ironic, uh

by the 1930's though since

in 1932, the reporter who actually coined the phrase

was broke and begging for money

to support his wife and three children.

That's terrible.

That was the Depression.

And here comes the inflation.

Excuse me, Mr. Moore, I hope

I'm not disturbing anything important.

Oh, no, just a lesson I spent several hours preparing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

As you know, uh, tomorrow night is the first of two meets

against Bronx Science.

Needless to say, I want a clean sweep.

So, practice tonight is mandatory.

- Okay, we'll be there. - We'll be there.

Good!

If we finish early, I will teach you

the fine points of the Bronx cheer.

So, in the 1930's--

Uh, excuse me, Charlie, um..

Are you the last interruption or is there a line behind you?

I'm sorry. Uh, Sarah, could I talk to you for a minute?

Sure.

Uh-oh. Bad news Bernadette strikes again.

"Bad news Bernadette?" She looks like good news to me.

Yeah, whenever she calls a kid out of class, it's trouble.

Uh, for you maybe, not for Sarah.

Yeah, what kind of trouble could Sarah be in?

Maybe Dr. Samuels has a new rule against perkiness.

[chuckles]

Maybe, she is the one who has been doing

the happy face graffiti.

Oh, right.

- So what did she say? - 'Yeah, is everything alright?'

- 'Yeah.' - You in trouble?

No, no, everything's fine.

- Well, so what happened? - Yeah, what happened?

My grandmother died.

Oh! I-I mean that's not fine. Of course, it's terrible.

Oh, I-I really did care about her, it's just that

she'd been sick as a dog.

Oh, Einstein was sick as a dog, too.

And, uh, of course, he-he is a dog. Or was.

He's dead, you know.

Arvid, we do know.

Go ahead, Sarah.

Well, uh, Mr. Moore, there is really not much more to say.

I mean, I hardly ever saw her except on holidays.

And you know, every once in a while

I'd go over, I'd take her for a walk and--

Oh, take him for a walk. Oh..

That was my favorite part.

Except when Einstein would meet up with a cat

and he'd started barking like..

[yipping]

Arvid, Arvid.

We're-we're all sorry about your dog.

But Sarah has just lost her grandmother.

Uh, you're right, Mr. Moore.

First my dog and then, her grandmother.

They say they always go in threes.

I wonder who's next.

You, if you don't quit whinin' about that dead mutt.

Dennis!

Oh, I'm sorry, Arv, don't cry.

- So, how did it happen? - Well--

The poor thing was chasing a boxer down Fifth Avenue--

Arvid, Arvid, Arvid, Arvid.

We're talkin' about her grandmother.

Oh!

Sarah, i-if there is anything that we can do..

Oh, no, Mr. Moore, I'm fine, really.

Sarah, if it makes you feel any better

I'm a firm believer in reincarnation.

I mean, right now, your grandmother could be anything.

A flower, an aardvark, who knows maybe even that fly.

Whoops!

Now she's an aardvark again.

Would you people show a little sensitivity to Sarah's feelings?

Yeah, I met Sarah's grandmother.

She was a really nice lady. I'm sorry, Sarah.

Oh, thanks, but it's okay everybody.

Look, I got through my mother's death

when I was just a little kid.

And believe me, this one will be no big deal.

Oh, that sounds awful, doesn't it?

I mean, I really am sorry that it happened.

It's just that really, you guys..

I really didn't know her all that well.

I hope you're not doing the eulogy.

Um, I think I can understand how Sarah feels.

[sighs]

What do we really know about our grandparents, anyway?

Every year, there is a couple of dollars

stuck into a birthday card.

[chuckles] Yeah.

And they all have a tendency to leave

hard candy on the coffee table.

- That's true. - That's her, that's her.

But, uh, what do we really know about their lives?

I mean, they are the best source of living history that we have.

- Yes, sir. - Yes, they are.

[bell ringing]

Listen, for tomorrow

I want you to investigate the lives of your grandparents

during the Depression.

And be prepared to deliver an oral report.

- Tomorrow. Okay? - Okay.

- 'Okay, see you then.' - See you later, Mr. Moore.

- 'Have a good day.' - Bye, Mr. Moore.

Sarah.

Listen, uh, in view of the situation

with your grandmother, uh

you don't have to deliver your report tomorrow, okay?

Why?

Well, it seems like you don't really wanna talk about her.

Look, Mr. Moore, I'm fine. Really.

Mr. Moore?

Even though I too have suffered a loss

I'd be happy to do the assignment.

[instrumental music]

T.J., if you want to attract a man

you've gotta dress more femininely.

Uh, you've got a problem with what I'm wearin', lady?

Well, it's fine if you're planning a career

in pest control.

Here's what you do.

You start with an Anne Klein silk blouse.

Maybe a cashmere sweater.

Pringle makes a nice line.

Liz Claiborne's doing some interesting things

with pleated skirts this season.

And you finish it off with a pair of Pappagallo flats.

By the way, who is the guy?

Aristotle!

What you're wearing will be fine.

[instrumental music]

- Oh, hi, Sarah. - Hi!

Look, I brought you this book I think will help you

get through this difficult time.

"How To Turn A Personal Loss Into Capital Gains".

I'm really touched, Alan, and so are you.

Sarah, are you sure there's nothing we can do to help?

I am fine and I'd be a lot better off

if everybody would just stop being so nice to me.

T.J., what the heck happened to you?

Hey, that looks funky fresh.

What are you doin' Saturday night?

Huh, nothin'.

Cool! Can I borrow one of those earrings?

[bell ringing]

Engen, why weren't you at practice last night?

I, uh.. Mr. Moore said it'd be okay if I went home.

You told him he could skip practice?

Uh, m-may I speak to you?

I-I think you should know that

Arvid was in no condition to practice last night.

- Uh-huh? - There has been a death.

Someone close?

Yeah, you could say that.

Well, why didn't you tell me so?

Stand aside, Mr. Moore.

This takes training and sensitivity.

Engen, get over here.

You know, I almost went into psychiatry.

I could recommend several doctors.

Son, I understand you lost someone close.

Known him a long time?

Well, we were potty-trained together.

Must've been very hard on the family.

Um, actually it was hardest on me.

My mother was really sick of him chewing the furniture and

dad was really tired of him sniffing our guests.

What kind of friend we talkin' about here?

My dog.

You mean to tell me you missed practice

over some mangy mongrel?

[whimpering]

Nice technique, Dr. Samuels.

Took my therapist about three months to get me to cry.

Great! Sarah is going to her grandmother's funeral.

My star player's a basket case.

We've lost!

Oh, don't worry, Dr. Samuels.

I'm not going to the funeral.

- What? - Whoa. What?

That's the school spirit!

Go team!

Carry on.

You're not goin' to your own grandmother's funeral?

Well, I don't think I should miss the academic meet.

Well, that's cold.

No, Sarah, you let us worry about the meet.

You should go to the funeral.

Uh, no, I-I don't believe in funerals.

Sarah, it's your grandmother.

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, okay, you're right.

My grandmother died, and I'm not going to the funeral

and I'm not crying, and I'm a horrible person.

Now can we please get on with the class?

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Dennis. Good news.

I think I'm finally over my grief.

A little late.

We already lost the academic meet.

I know. I just couldn't stop thinking about my dog.

Yeah, tell me about it.

The sequel of Tom Sawyer's "Huckleberry Finn".

Not Huckleberry Hound.

Dennis, Dennis, I'll make up for tomorrow night at the rematch.

But I think I have the whole thing under control.

Einstein may be dead, but that doesn't mean

I can't be near him.

I've got his ashes.

You know, I think you may have something here, Arv.

Add a little hot water, "Cup-O-Dog."

Stay.

So the idea of teaching entrepreneurship

really sounds interesting.

And I think we should discuss it further

at a faculty meeting..

Uh, Mr. Moore?

I just wanna tell you that I'm sorry

about my outburst on Friday.

Oh. It's okay.

It's natural that you have a lot of emotions now, Sarah.

It's good that you express them, you know?

Probably makes you feel better.

Well, actually it made me feel even worse.

My father came back from the funeral and he brought me this.

My grandmother wanted me to have this locket.

It means that she was thinkin' about me while she was dying

and, and I didn't do anything.

I didn't go to see her and I couldn't go to her funeral.

You couldn't?

Okay, I, I wouldn't.

I told you, Mr. Moore, I don't believe in funerals.

You really do look like your grandmother.

I know. It's like lookin' in a mirror.

You know, I remember her telling me once when I was a little girl

that I'd grow up to look just like her.

Well, I bet you have a lot more in common besides looks.

I think you should talk to your father.

You know, he probably has a lot of stories about her.

What's the point, Mr. Moore? It's too late.

It's not too late to sort out your feelings.

[instrumental music]

And what's really interesting about my grandpa

is he's a vegetarian, just like me.

And today he's still alive, spry and has all his faculties.

- How old is he? - Fifty-seven.

It's amazing.

Well, I suppose we can all see..

Okay, huddle up, team!

Tonight's our rematch with Bronx Science.

Now last week, they kicked our cans.

But they had the home court advantage.

- Yeah. - Right.

This time, they're gonna be on our floor.

- Yeah. - Our floor.

In front of our crowd.

(all) Our crowd.

With our referee!

(all) Our referee.

If you get my drift.

[chuckles]

Arvid, you are over this dog thing, aren't you?

Yes, Dr. Samuels, I am.

What's in there?

My dog.

Oh, Mr. Moore, I'm sorry I'm late.

I hope that's not her grandmother.

Mr. Moore?

Mr. Moore, you were right.

I found out about my grandmother.

I'm ready to do my report now.

Good. Let's go.

This was my grandmother. Clara Nevins.

She turned out to be a lot more than just a little old lady.

I found out that she'd lost her first baby.

Back then, the infant mortality rate in Harlem

was much higher than in any place else in the city.

So my grandmother, she decided to devote her life

to improving medical care for babies.

So she worked three jobs

and she put herself through medical school.

Then, in 1937, she became pregnant again.

And this time, she had proper medical attention

and she gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

My father.

And, you know, as my father was talking, Mr. Moore

'I remembered how, when I would get sick'

'my father, he'd call my grandmother'

and she'd come over

and she'd take care of me, and she could answer

all my questions.

In a lot of ways, I owe my dreams

of becoming a doctor to my grandmother.

That's very nice.

You, uh, feel better?

Well, Mr. Moore, I-I feel even worse now

because, I know what a wonderful person she was.

It's too late. I-I'll never see her again.

There is always channeling.

Save it, Viki.

Maybe I should've gone to the funeral.

Sarah, it's okay.

I mean, I-I never understood the point of funerals

anyway, you know?

You know, a lot of people feel like Alex does.

There are people who do not want a funeral after they die.

'But funerals are not for the dead.'

They're for the living.

Every culture has its own burial rituals

from the pyramids of Egypt

to Viking funeral pyres to Irish wakes.

It's a way of saying goodbye.

You're absolutely right, Mr. Moore.

We'll have a funeral for Einstein.

- Oh, no. - Get outta here.

- Come on, Arvid. - Give me a break, Arvid.

No, no, no, really, I'll, I'll rent a chapel

get a-a minister, an organist..

Oh, let's just get a dust buster and get it over with quick.

Seriously, I.. We could do it right here after school.

You know, before the academic meet.

Thanks, Mr. Moore. That's great.

[bell ringing]

- See you later, Mr. Moore. - 'Yeah.'

Hey, it'll be nice.

- Oh, come on. - Mr. Moore, come on.

Mr. Moore, we're not really gonna have

a dog funeral, are we?

Well, look.

Arvid is obviously having trouble getting over this.

So, maybe a funeral would help.

[indistinct chatter]

If nothing else, it gives you a chance

to show him that you do really care about him.

[instrumental music]

Thank you for coming.

I bet this would look pretty weird to an outside observer.

This looks pretty weird to an inside observer.

Thank you for coming, Dennis.

This is for you, not the deceased.

Looks very nice, Arvid.

Thanks, Mr. Moore. You know, I..

I wanted it to be solemn but not somber.

Thanks.

Well, we're all gathered here

to mourn the loss and celebrate the life

of, Einstein Engen.

For 14 years, Arvid's good friend and companion.

Why don't you take over from here, Arvid?

Uh. Uh, yes, yes. Uh, right.

Before I begin my eulogy, I'd like to begin

by showing a few slides to commemorate Einstein.

Uh, oh, first..

♪ When I was a lad ♪

♪ And old Shep was ♪

♪ A pup.. ♪♪

(Arvid) 'This is Einstein chewing his very first pocket protector.'

'This is Einstein with Dennis.'

[chuckling]

'This is Einstein with my grandparents.'

We used to take him with us whenever we would visit.

'This is Einstein on the beach.'

[chuckling]

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah, there's Einstein in the bathtub.

[chuckling]

This is, uh, playing Frisbee together.

'I never could catch it with my mouth like he did.'

It kept bouncing off my retainer.

(all) 'Aw!'

(Arvid) 'This is the two of us together just last month.'

I know that to a lot of you, Einstein was just a dog.

But...he was a lot more than that to me.

'He was a, a living soul'

who brought happiness to everyone he touched.

We shared a lot together.

I wish I could've had more time with him.

It's alright.

Arvid, that was really beautiful.

- Yeah. - 'It was very good, Arvid.'

'Very nice.'

Uh, Dennis, you wanna get the lights?

Right.

(Charlie) 'It was very nice.'

So, uh, would anyone else like to say anything?

'Sarah?'

Well, Arvid, I-I'm really sorry about Einstein.

Thank you, Sarah.

The last funeral that I went to was for my mother.

And I was just a little girl.

And I promised myself that I'd never go through that again

because it hurt too much.

And I guess that's why I didn't go to my grandmother's.

Arvid, I-I know that this was for your dog.

But to tell you the truth

the whole time, I was thinkin' about her.

Arvid, I feel like I have been to her funeral now.

I know. It's weird, huh?

To pay your last respects for somebody

at a, a service for a terrier.

If my grandma's watching

I wonder what she thinks.

Well, chances are your grandmother was

a very wise woman and she saw a lot.

I'm sure she'd see the humor in this.

[indistinct chatter]

You're right. It's funny, isn't it?

[chuckles] It's very funny.

Yes.

[sobbing]

Uh, Arvid

we can't bring Einstein back.

And, uh, we all know how you feel.

So we wanted you to have this.

Oh, thanks, Dennis.

Oh, thanks, everybody.

[Arvid chuckling]

Oh, you're so cute. Yes, you are.

[instrumental music]

You know, if you don't wanna go out with me

why don't you just say so instead of leading me on?

T.J., I don't even know what you're talkin' about.

Okay, go ahead, play with my emotions.

What are you sayin'? You wanna go out with me or somethin'?

You know, you're really pushin' it, buddy.

Then why didn't you just drop a few hints?

[scoffs] Hints?

I tried to strike up a conversation with you.

I pranced around in a really killer outfit for you.

I played harder to get than Rubik's Cube.

I've been in your face for the last week.

Then why didn't you just ask me out?

I'm shy.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

[music continues]