Original subtitles

[piano music]

♪ Listen to the music ♪ ♪ La-la-la ♪

♪ Listen to the laughter ♪ ♪ Ha-ha-ha ♪

♪ Look at all the ribbons bright and gay ♪

♪ It's a Rhineland wedding day ♪

♪ It's a Rhineland wedding day ♪

♪ Everybody's dancing ♪ ♪ Ya-ya-ya ♪

♪ Kissing and romancing ♪ ♪ Oo-la-la ♪

♪ You can kick it up it's safe to say ♪

♪ Another wedding's on its way ♪

♪ Another Rhineland wedding ♪

♪ Day ♪♪

No, no, no!

Stop! Forget it!

Blunden, why are you doing that?

This is "The Shepherd Prince," not a Jerry Lewis movie.

Well, pardon me, Mr. Wimple, but I'm trying to make it funny.

Oh, well, the last thing we need

is you trying to make us look ridiculous.

- That's right. - Yeah, Dennis.

Alright, alright. Hold it! Hold it!

That's it! Stop! Hold it!

Opening night is two weeks from Friday.

Can we try and pull this fiasco together?

- Excuse me, Mr. Wimple. - What? What is it?

- Excuse me. - Oh!

You know, the blue costumes

that you ordered for the Soldiers' Chorus?

- Well, are they here yet? - Yes, but they're yellow.

What?

That did it.

I'm not gonna cheat my audience.

People expect something from a Vernon Wimple Production.

Oh, yeah, like last year's Christmas pageant.

Remember that, Mr. Wimple? They booed the Virgin Mary.

There, does that get me out of this disaster?

No. No, never mind.

You stay, I'm going.

Wait a minute, Mr. Wimple.

I cannot create under these conditions.

I'm an artist!

As of now, I am officially

no longer the director of this disaster!

[piano music]

♪ If you were my princess ♪

♪ And you were my prince ♪

♪ How happy we two could be ♪

♪ Though our royal treasury might be quite bare ♪

♪ We have a kingdom of love to share ♪

♪ Oh our humble palace ♪

♪ May be just a room ♪

♪ And the room would be filled with kind ♪

♪ Just say that you love me ♪

♪ And make me your prince ♪

♪ And you'll be my princess ♪ ♪ And I'll be your princess ♪

♪ Bride ♪♪

[applause]

(Mr. Moore) 'Well done.'

Well?

Okay, I'll direct the musical.

- Oh! - What?

I knew you wouldn't let me down.

- But not this musical. - Huh?

I think that we should do something more contemporary.

You know, like "Little Shop Of Horrors."

Yeah!

♪ Little shoppa horrors little shop ♪♪

Hold! Stop!

You wanna do a musical about a plant that eats people?

Yuck!

Even if I did like "Little Shop Of Horrors"

which I don't, we can't do it.

All the money that's been allocated for sets and costumes

has already been spent.

Huh, there is no more.

- There is the contingency-- - Shut up. Shh.

Dr. Samuels, we could repaint the sets.

[overlapping chatter]

Kids, we can't just do

another musical just like that.

Oh, there's always a first time.

You're still here?

We advertised "The Shepherd Prince."

We're going to do "The Shepherd Prince."

Fine. Save me a seat. I'll be there opening night.

[overlapping chatter]

Okay, we'll do your "Little Shop Of Horrors."

- Yeah! - Alright!

But I will not spend one more dime

on this production. You understand?

Not one nail, not one bucket of paint.

Not one spool of thread.

Nothing. Just nothing.

I think I can get you some thread.

[piano music]

[overlapping chatter]

"Out of the national budget

"$21,000 for each American household

"goes to defense.

"Yet some people say we have less security now

than before we spent the two trillion."

- Hmm. - It's very good.

Okay, the rest of you, I'd like, uh, 500 words pro or con

on this subject for Friday.

[bell rings] Okay. See you tomorrow.

Is there something..

- The cast list, right? - Yes.

I have it here. I don't think it's the right time.

- Oh, come on. - Come on, Mr. Moore.

"Simone, Janice, Jawaharlal.

Chorus, atmosphere, et cetera."

- Great. - Oh, that's good.

"Arvid Engen, prompter."

W-wait, from-from villager to prompter?

That sounds like a demotion.

"Sarah and Darlene are Crystal and Chiffon."

- Alright! - Alright! Who's the other one?

- Monica Kesselbach. - Oh.

- W-who's playing Mr. Mushnik? - 'Yeah!'

Oh, don't worry, I'm working on that, okay?

Eric will be Orin, the dentist.

- And, Alan-- - I-I know. I know.

Uh, Seymour.

I'll be great. Thanks, Mr. Moore.

Sure.

"Essaying the much-coveted role of Audrey

will be Maria Borges."

- Oh! - 'Great.'

- Congratulations, Maria. - What?

I said you'd be playing the role of Audrey.

You know, the lead, the star of the show.

- Oh, great. - If it's not too much trouble.

Um, no.

I'm sorry, Mr. Moore. I'd love to do it.

Thank you very much.

Mr. Moore.

When you direct, how come I feel so unimportant?

You're very important, Dennis.

I'm counting on you to run things backstage.

You're gonna be painter, construction, uh

stage-managing, like you did for "Grease."

Backstage again?

Are you two guys in or out?

[both groans]

- Okay. - Thank you.

♪ Come on and ease on down ♪

♪ Ease on down the road ♪

♪ Come on and ease on down.. ♪♪

T.J., was that you?

- Was what me? - Just now singing?

No, I just came to drop off these.

(Alan) 'The plant, it grew.'

'Bright sun, it was beautiful.'

Excuse me. Excuse me. Uh, well, Alan.

The-the essence of Seymour's character is..

...shy. He's awkward.

You know, he's clumsy.

He, he says all the wrong things.

He's, he's wearing the wrong clothes.

Right. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Okay, uh, so can we try it again?

Are you with us, Arvid? Yeah?

'And, Maria.'

You don't know the half of it. I've led a terrible life.

No. That's all behind you now.

You have nothing to be ashamed of.

I always knew you were a very nice person.

- Wrong. - What?

It's wrong. He said it wrong.

Well..

Well, what?

Well, Arvid, you're the prompter, okay?

Your-your job is to help him, not just tell him he's wrong.

Well, how's he gonna learn it if I just tell him the answer?

But it's not a test, Arvid.

Look, when he's stuck, you wait a moment

then you feed him the proper line

so we can continue with the scene, okay?

Oh. All somebody had to do was tell me.

- Okay, and-- - I'm only trying to help.

Thank you, Arvid.

You're a very nice person.

I always knew you were..

[piano music]

♪ Lift up your head ♪

♪ Wipe off your mascara ♪

♪ Here take my Kleenex ♪

[music continues]

♪ Wipe that lipstick away ♪

♪ Show me your face ♪

♪ Clean as the mornin' ♪

♪ I know things were bad ♪

♪ But now they're okay ♪

♪ Suddenly Seymour ♪♪

- Like-like-like that? - Yeah, exactly like that.

[cheering]

Hey, hey, Arvid, you're not bad. No, really.

Uh, Mr. Moore, you should seriously consider

making Arvid my understudy.

You know, in case maybe I get hit by a light or something.

[clears throat]

♪ Me-me-me ♪

Ahem, me.

Excuse me, I need a drink of water.

All this singing is making the old pipes a little rusty.

Sure. Uh, don't worry.

[clears throat] Me-me. Ahem.

Well, let's just forget "Suddenly Seymour"

for a moment, shall we?

- Let's forget about Alan. - 'Yeah.'

It looks like we suddenly found a new Seymour.

- 'Yeah, Arvid.' - Oh, yes, Arvid.

You were wonderful. But who's gonna tell Alan?

Uh, I believe it's a tradition in the theater

that the director tells the guy who stinks

that the understudy is now the star.

- Yeah. Right. - Wait a minute.

Alan is pretty good and he's working hard.

- And he's gonna get better. - Yeah, this is awful.

If I had any idea that you guys were gonna start talking

about dumping Alan..

- Wow. - Nobody is dumping anyone.

Let's just see how things go. Shall we?

And then you'll dump him, right?

[overlapping chatter]

[piano music]

Mr. Moore, what am I supposed to do with this set?

Uh, I don't know, Dennis. Try painting it.

We have no paint.

Well, don't worry, okay?

Uh, how is the plant coming?

- Feed me. - Don't worry, it will be fine.

Mr. Moore, I really think we should have a serious talk.

About what?

About me being in the play.

No.

[piano music]

♪ Shing-a-ling what a creepy thing to be happening ♪

♪ Look out look out look out look out-- ♪

♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪♪

What was that?

You don't like the way that I sing?

Monica, whatever that was, it's not part of the song.

I know that. I was trying to make it interesting.

Interesting?

Well, frankly, it's boring singing with untrained

undisciplined, tin-eared amateurs.

Tin-eared?

Monica, do you wanna make it really interesting

for everybody?

- Try quitting. - Great idea.

(Mr. Moore) 'Monica.'

Mr. Moore, thank you for the most

humiliating experience of my life.

I was the lead. The Shepherd Princess.

And now I'm reduced to shing-a-lings and doo-daas.

- Ah, I quit. - 'Oh, no.'

- 'No.' - Mr. Moore, I'm sorry.

Ah, it will be fine, don't worry.

(Mr. Moore) 'Sing.'

- What? - Anything.

Do you know "People Get Ready?"

[piano music]

♪ People get ready ♪

♪ There's a train a-comin' ♪

♪ Don't need no baggage ♪

♪ You just get on board ♪

♪ All you need is faith ♪

♪ To hear the diesel hummin' ♪

♪ Don't need no ticket ♪

♪ You just thank the Lord ♪♪

[all cheering]

Welcome aboard. You are our new Ronette.

- 'Alright.' - Wait a minute.

This is an extracurricular activity, right?

- Right. - Can't do it.

Dr. Samuels says

I can't be in any extracurricular activities

until I apologize for somethin' I didn't do.

What is it he thinks you did that you didn't do?

Singin' in the hallways.

[chuckles] Sorry, gotta go.

Mr. Moore, maybe we should just

go back to "The Shepherd Prince."

Right. Uh, a-at least we had sets a-and costumes.

And we still don't have a Mr. Mushnik.

- 'Yeah.' - That's right.

O-okay, you want a Mr. Mushnik

and sets and costumes, fine.

They're all on their way, okay?

- How? - How?

First, I think it's about time that I told you about this guy.

Uh, let's call him Dixon Ticonderoga, okay?

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, shh, here comes Dr. Samuels.

- Alright. - Oh.

Uh, where is Dixon Ticonderoga?

I don't know. I don't know.

He said he had a few things to do.

Mr. Moore, it's just not fair.

We're here working hard

and Dixon Ticonderoga is out there somewhere goofing off.

- Yeah. - It's not fair.

I, uh, heard there's a problem.

What is it?

Miss Meara, you promised.

I'm sorry, Mr. Moore. It was my duty to tell him.

Well..

Well, it's just a tiny problem, Dr. Samuels.

Uh, since I'm dropping Dixon Ticonderoga from the show

we don't really have anybody to play the role of Mr. Mushnik.

Who's he?

Mr. Mushnik runs the flower store where Seymour works.

He's just sort of the star of the show.

Uh, so this is where Seymour is showing the plant

to Audrey and her boyfriend, Orin, okay?

Alright, and, uh, Dennis, the plant, please.

- Oh, yes. - Mm-hm. Uh-huh.

- That's a plant? - Well..

Uh, have a seat, please. Why don't you join us?

And take it away.

Hey, this must be that plant

they're talkin' about on the news.

- What do you call it? - Audrey II.

Hm. Cute name. Catchy.

Nice plant. Big.

Uh, Seymour, this is my boyfriend

Orin Scrivello.

[gasps] Doctor of dental science.

You know, kid, you could take this plant

to any flower shop in town and name your price.

I'm tellin' you, kid, this is a big green gold mine.

Get out of this dump and take the plant with you.

Yeah, sure.

Okay, and-and so this is where Mr. Mushnik overhears and..

Ah.

Uh, Dr. Samuels, w-would you mind

just reading Mr. Mushnik's role?

Oh, yeah. You could help us here in this rehearsal.

[clears throat] Well, ahem.

[clears throat]

"He'll think about it."

No. Uh, it's a question. See?

The question mark.

He's just, uh, talking to himself aloud, okay?

He's-he's thinking about Seymour who works for him

'in a new light. Okay. Go.'

"He'll think about it?

"I've treated that kid like dirt all this time.

"And now that he and his plant can save my business

"he's thinking of leaving.

"All I had to do was tell him he's appreciated.

Maybe it's not too late."

- Oh! - Hey, that's it.

- 'Excellent.' - 'Wonderful.'

Now, what? Uh..

Well, there is a song that, uh

Mr. Waffing wrote especially for Dixon Ticonderoga.

Uh, but if you don't feel like trying to sing it--

Well, let me see that.

I can do this.

[piano music]

♪ Einstein had a notion or two ♪

♪ So did Plato and Cato and Freud ♪

♪ Edison sure was an egghead ♪

♪ And for you kid there's only one void ♪

♪ Shakespeare was good ♪

♪ Mozart was good ♪

♪ But you you're a genius ♪

♪ And Gower wasn't bad ♪

♪ For rogue reach a tad ♪

♪ But you you're a genius ♪

♪ There's Machiavelli ♪

♪ There's Keith and there's Sherry ♪

♪ Hurrah and come you and the rest ♪

♪ But like bark and like handle ♪

♪ They can't hold a candle to you ♪

♪ You're the best ♪♪

[singing in foreign language]

♪ Quite edible ♪

♪ Rodan rates a bow Michelangelo mow ♪

♪ But thou art incredible ♪

♪ Puccini Paulini Picasso Vocasso ♪

♪ You just got to give them their due ♪

♪ They're not dim they're not dumb ♪

♪ They're much farther than chum ♪

♪ A genius ♪

♪ We're talking about you ♪

♪ Hey kid we're talking about you ♪♪

[all cheering]

My God in heaven!

I mean, if only we could find

someone like you to play this..

[laughs]

Hey, anyway, it's supposed to be for a student, right?

Oh, it's not a school rule.

That's not even a tradition.

Wait a minute, Miss Meara, you're not saying--

Mr. Moore, call me completely wacky

but I don't know why Dr. Samuels couldn't play the role.

- I mean, why not? - Yeah.

N-n-now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

This is my decision and I've decided.

That's a brilliant idea, Simone.

Congratulations. That is, if..

Okay, I'll do it.

[all cheering]

W-w-what kind of costume will I wear?

- 'Oh.' - Well, I, uh..

I suppose you've heard of Japanese Noh Theater.

- Yes. - Well, it's a lot like that.

Uh, there's no costumes

no sets, no props, no makeup.

No band. Of course, you know why.

There's no money.

[all groaning]

You can't expect the principal

of a major high school

to make a fool out of himself

in some shabby two-bit production.

No, no, uh, and I wouldn't want that to happen.

I mean, uh, it certainly is a pity though, sir.

I mean, you were born to play this role.

- Oh, yeah. - Absolutely.

There is the contingency fund.

Yeah, I know about the contingency fund.

I'll have to cancel a few meetings.

Yeah.

Okay, you get your money!

[all cheering]

Thank you, sir, you were wonderful.

So were you. You were all wonderful.

- 'Thank you.' - Okay, problem solved.

Uh, we still need a Ronette.

Uh, don't worry I'm working on that.

- We'll have one soon. - Okay.

- Uh, let's just continue, okay? - Okay.

Uh, where is Maria?

Uh, she went to make a phone call.

Mom, how can you do that?

That's it, I'm hanging up. I can't believe it.

I'm hanging up. Watch me. Watch.

Uh, Maria, would this have anything to do

with your not having your mind on the show?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- You wanna talk about it? - What's there to talk about?

My mother's gonna marry this total sleazoid creep

and now Johnny the jerk is gonna be my stepfather.

I'm really sorry, Maria.

I wish that there was something that I could to help.

Yeah, well, you had your chance, but you blew it.

What are you talking about?

Do you remember Parents' Day?

Do you remember my mother was attracted to you

and you could have gone out with her.

She would have never met him

and I wouldn't be in this total mess.

Maria, this-this is your mother's life, okay?

You're going away to college soon.

It doesn't have to ruin your life.

It's already ruining my life. She wants me at the wedding.

Well, I think you should be there.

- It's in Hoboken. - So?

Do you wanna know when?

- Don't tell me. - It's our opening night.

Please, I-I asked you not to tell me.

Oh, Mr. Moore, uh, Dennis asked me to show you something.

Where is Dennis, anyway?

He's supposed to be in charge of this chaos.

- Plant number one. - Uh-huh.

Whoo. Uh-huh.

- Plant number two. - Mm-hmm.

Feed me!

Please, Mr. Moore, please, you gotta let me be in the show.

It will be so great, please.

- Okay, you're in. - Oh! Thank you, thank you.

- Thank you, thank you. - 'Moore.'

Oh, Dr. Samuels, I'm glad you're here.

Uh, I-I really need your opinion

as the star of the show in doing some recast.

Oh, anything I can do to help.

Well, we're recasting Ronette.

[piano music]

♪ Little shop ♪

♪ Little shoppa horrors ♪

♪ Little shop ♪

♪ Little shoppa horrors ♪

Thank you.

♪ Little shoppa terror ♪

♪ Call a cop ♪

♪ Little shoppa horrors ♪

♪ No oh oh no ♪

♪ Little shop ♪

♪ Little shoppa horrors ♪

♪ Bop sh'bop ♪

♪ Little shoppa terror ♪

♪ Watch 'em drop ♪

♪ Little shoppa horrors ♪

♪ No oh oh no ♪♪

♪ Shing-a-ling what a creepy thing to be happening ♪

♪ Look out look out look out look out ♪♪

(Mr. Moore) 'Thank you.'

So what do you think, huh?

No, no, it's okay. It's okay, thank you.

Thank you.

Look.

I-I have seen only one real Ronette.

Oh, Dr. Samuels? Great, listen.

T.J. needs your permission to change her detention

from Monday to Wednesday. Is that okay?

- Mm-hmm. - T.J., what a surprise.

I know what you're going to say and the answer is no.

Absolutely, no!

But, Dr. Samuels, we need her.

Fine, all she has to do is apologize

to her high school principal for calling him a liar.

I never called you a liar. You called me a liar.

I told you to stop singing in the halls.

- And I told you it wasn't me. - Oh, yes, it was.

See, he's calling me a liar.

Is-is there some way that we can solve this problem?

I don't think so.

[theme music]