Original subtitles

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[indistinct chatter]

- Okay, Simone. This is it. - This is what?

Before we went to Russia, you said

you were gonna go out on a date with me.

We're back. So what's the story?

So ask me out.

You were waiting for me to say something?

- Isn't that the way it's done? - Oh, okay.

Friday night, then. We'll go to the movies or something.

- Fine. - Fine.

Oh, you can pick me up at 7:30.

Pick you up? Can't you meet me there?

N-no, Eric. Don't you wanna come to my house and meet my parents?

We'll chat for a while.

Then you can escort me to whatever it is

you've planned for the evening.

Wh-wh-whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talkin' about?

- It's called a date. - Sounds more like a field trip.

- Well, if you'd rather not.. - No-no-no, Simone.

7:30, Friday.

Please, allow me.

♪ Rum-a-pum pum-pum-pum ♪♪

Oh, Mr. Moore.

A fellow gourmet.

You've been peeking in my brown bag again.

No, you know what I'm talking about.

You're sophisticated. You appreciate good food.

That's why I know you're going to love Stafford's Fresh Farm.

Why?

Because it's an exciting new dining spot.

And it just happens to be owned by my brother-in-law.

Ah, that's why.

And as a special introductory offer

we're giving away these free coupons.

You get two dinners for the price of one.

- What kinda food is it? - Well, what do you care?

- It's two for one. - Charlie, I've been there.

It's continental. It's very good.

- You should give it a try. - Hey, you see?

Well, okay. Uh, maybe this weekend.

I suppose I should ask for Mr. Stafford, huh?

There's no Mr. Stafford.

My brother-in-law's name is Heimlich.

Let's face it. Who wants to eat in a place called Heimlich's?

Enjoy yourself. Ha!

Coach Fanelli, a fellow gourmet.

You finally said yes?

Well, after all this time

you'd better convince him it was worth the wait.

- 'Right.' - What's that supposed to mean?

Simone, you want him to have a good time, don't you?

- Yeah. - What're you gonna wear?

Well, I don't know. I didn't really think about it.

- I guess, something like this? - Well, uh..

- Hmm.. - Boring.

So you're really gonna meet her parents?

- Yeah. - Lots of luck.

- You better dress up a little. - Uh-huh.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, do you have anything without zippers?

Simone, you're not gonna wear your hair like that, are you?

- Well, I thought-- - Umm..

Maybe I can lend you some make up

and we can highlight your cheekbones.

Highlight?

And it wouldn't hurt to bring flowers and rent a limo.

- A limo? - Mm-hmm.

A-and you better make reservations

at a good restaurant.

What exactly do you mean by good?

Well, one where the condiments aren't

salt, pepper and a can of Raid.

Simone, look, you'll be fine. Don't worry about it.

Just...don't do that thing that you do with your hands.

- Yeah. - What thing?

That thing.

Oh. This is too much pressure.

Maybe I should just cancel the whole thing.

- Oh, no. - Don't be a wimp, Simone.

Just go and be yourself.

Okay.

- But in a mini skirt. - Yes!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why am I taking dating advice

from the Vienna Boy's Choir?

- Uh, listen, Simone. - Do you wanna change your mind?

No. Not, not unless you do. Do you?

No, no. Do you?

No.

[applause]

Thank you. Thank you very much.

It's wonderful to walk in to a class

that's so enthusiastic about their work.

So let's just dive right in with the 25th Amendment.

The 25th Amendment was ratified on the February 10th, 1967.

It makes provision for presidential disability.

Uh-huh, if the president is too sick to make decisions

then he can hand over power to the vice-president.

- Stay well, George. - 'Yes..'

That's correct on both counts.

So, by Friday, no less than 1500 words

on its background, its purpose and its implementation, please.

Hey, what's shakin'?

Uh-oh. Time to spray again.

[snaps] Hit the road, wide load.

She's mellowing.

- Here's your roll book. - Thank you.

- How's it going in there? - Ah.

Working in the office is cool.

All I do is take phone messages for you.

Why don't you pay your phone bill?

My phone is broken, if you must know.

Do you have some messages for me?

Sure. The pharmacy called.

Your ointment came in.

Your mother called and wants to know what it takes

to get you to write a letter. Mm.

And someone named Babette called. Mm-mm-mm.

- Babette. Ooh! - Babette. Ooh!

- Thank you, Barbara Walters. - Uh, no prob.

Twenty-fifth amendment. Got it.

That's our essay assignment.

And now, it's mine too.

If I'm ever gonna get out of remedial

and into this class, I better start doin' the work.

Looking forward to my first day.

I'll be back before you know it.

When she's back, somehow I have the feeling

we'll know it.

[instrumental music]

So, uh, Mr. Foster

Simone tells me you're involved in publishing.

That's fascinating.

Exactly what-what area?

Books.

Writing, editing?

Binding.

Bound any good books lately?

So...how are we getting along?

- Great. Ready to go? - Uh..

Eric, can I talk to you for a second?

We can talk at the restaurant.

I think now would be better.

Simone, we got an 8 o'clock reservation.

- We ought to get going. - You're right. Let's go.

Ready, honey?

[instrumental music]

Eric...you're mad at me, aren't you?

Simone, I'm not mad.

I just didn't expect to be double dating

with Mr. and Mrs. Marcel Marceau.

I tried to tell you.

Please, let's just relax and have fun?

Well, it's certainly a nice place you picked out, Eric.

So, why don't you tell my parents a little about yourself?

- Like what? - You know.

Your hobbies, your career plans, ambitions for the future.

Your hopes, your dreams.

I'm thinking about joining the navy any minute now.

L-look, there's Mr. Moore.

Oh.. Is there a, a table, maybe back..

- Uh, friends? - Um, students.

Hi.

Well, I can see that they adore you.

Oh, you must be the kind of teacher

that's always there for his students

helping them out, really sensitive to their needs.

Well, it's part of the job.

- Do you wanna go say, hello? - No.

So..

...what kinda modelling do you do?

- Lingerie. - Oh.

Please help yourselves to the salad bar.

Hope they have jicama.

Oh, we'll be right there.

So, where were we?

I think we were atop the Empire State Building

at 3:00 in the morning and you were wearing a, a teddy.

Eric, what is your problem?

My problem is at the salad bar.

It wasn't my idea to invite them along.

B-but I don't see what's so awful about them being here.

We're a very close family.

I guess they're just kinda protective.

Oh, yeah, Simone. They're perfectly normal.

Why do I feel like giving them CPR?

Well, if you don't like my parents

I guess you don't like me either!

And if you didn't wanna be with me

you should've just said so.

Fine, Eric. Have it your way.

I don't wanna be with you.

[instrumental music]

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So it must have been..

...really cold up there

at 3:00 in the morning.

- Freezing. - 'Yeah.'

Nothing but just real, thin silk.

Very exciting salad bar.

- Three kinds of olives. - Three.

- Where's Simone? - Uh, she went to the..

Oh, the..

Eric, may we speak frankly?

Please, speak.

We make it a point to meet anyone

that Simone wishes to go out with.

- And I'm Mr. Wrong, right? - Oh, no.

Oh, you're just as she described you.

I can imagine.

Well, she said you were bright

honest, creative.

"A bit difficult, but utterly charming."

To be precise.

We just wanted to see for ourselves.

I don't think we'd be betraying her confidence

to tell you that she's quite..

Smitten.

Smitten?

Oh, very, just like I was..

...am with Mr. Foster.

So, we know you two will be seeing a lot of each other and..

W-we're very pleased.

And we want you to know that

you're always welcome in our home.

Wow.

Mom, daddykins, I have an unbelievable headache.

- I wanna go home. - Uh, listen, Simone.

- We-we were just talkin' and-- - Really?

I'd like to go home just this minute.

Oh, absolutely, dear. I'm sorry you're feeling so ill.

Eric, we'll have to do this some other time.

So, I was, uh, reading recently

in the "New York Times" that, uh..

...garter belts were making a comeback.

Mm. Yeah, it's amazing.

All I ever get called for now is

garter belts, garter belts, garter belts.

Well, it'll certainly have an effect

on the pantyhose industry, I guess.

- Hi. - Hi.

Listen, uh, I-I got a problem.

Well, why don't we talk about it Monday?

Alright, you got kind of a intimate..

It's cool. Okay.

Eric?

Uh, wanna pull up a chair?

Maybe just for a second.

Uh, this is my friend, Babette.

Uh, this is my student, Eric.

- Eric, Babette. - Hi.

So, uh...guess the date didn't work out, huh?

[scoffs] Sure, it worked out, Mr. Moore.

Kinda like the Dukakis campaign worked out.

I don't even know why I-why I

just don't give up on her, you know?

I can go out with any girl in school I want.

But, but there's just somethin' about Simone, you know.

She's different. She's so sweet.

She's so, so sensitive, she's so..

So, Simone, you know?

[sighs] And now her parents like me, but-but she hates me.

She won't even speak to me.

The whole thing's just all screwed up.

So what are you gonna do?

That's why I'm sitting here.

- Eric.. - I know, I know, I know.

- Monday. - No, no. Now, now.

Really, uh..

Simone's family is really a very

important part of her life, you know.

Well, I think you're gonna have to be patient.

You gotta be sensitive to her needs.

It's what every woman is looking for.

I mean, it doesn't make any difference how macho you are.

You know, you make a mistake, admit it.

So you're telling me I should apologize to her, right?

I'm telling you that you can get

truly close to a woman

if you allow yourself to be vulnerable.

I'll call her.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Wow. - Yeah. Sorry.

I guess it kinda put a damper on the evening.

No, that was...just about the warmest, sweetest

most vulnerable thing I've ever heard.

You know, I, I was starting to think

you were some kind of underwear freak.

Bu-but what you said was-was beautiful.

I-it gave me a, a very warm feeling.

Really?

Maybe you should take me home.

Maybe I should pay for the drinks first.

- Maybe you should hurry. - Yeah. Sure.

[instrumental music]

Would it have hurt you to just come to the phone?

I only tried to call you ten times.

Oh, I would have come to the phone if I ever wanted

to speak to you again during my time on this planet!

What's everybody lookin' at?

My guess is the shattered remnants of your relationship.

[bell rings]

Okay, I'd like to finish up with the Roosevelt's

before Dr. Samuels bursts in and blows our concentration.

Hey, T.J.'s back. Mm.

Well, it sure means T.J.'s front.

- So much for concentration. - Hey, man, it's Monday mornin'.

Where's my paper? What's my grade?

A 'C?'

Unless that stands for cool, then you've lost it.

T.J., you had some real good stuff in there

but you must remember, in here, you have to go a little further.

More research, more analysis.

I-I-I realize that this was your first essay.

[sighs] I hear you.

I just didn't cut it, that's all.

I knew it.

Well, I'm sure that with time--

I knew I should've put in my notes.

From Senator Russell's comment on the article two, section one.

- Damn. - Article two.

You know about that?

And I knew I should have put in the part

from Sloane's column on the legislative intent.

And the report at the House Judiciary Committee.

And the bibliography. I'm such a dweeb.

- She read the Sloane Column? - I read all that stuff.

I just didn't know it was supposed to be in the essay.

W-well, you know, T.J., you're actually quite erudite.

Uh, that means smart.

Actually, it means scholarly, stupid.

But thanks anyway.

Look, I, uh, I'll tell you what.

You wanna redo the paper, I'll reconsider the grade.

- I'll have it to you by lunch. - I'll be waiting for it.

Back to the Roosevelt's.

Now, once the president had become quite ill

uh, Eleanor took a much more public role.

And it was, uh, truly an equal partnership.

- Hah. - Simone?

S-sorry, Mr. Moore, but I just doubt that it was truly equal.

I'm sure Roosevelt did whatever he wanted

with no regard to Eleanor's feelings

or those of her family.

Yeah, well, maybe Eleanor forgot that FDR had feelings too.

But then again, how could he explain 'em

when Eleanor wouldn't come to the phone?

Oh, well, I'm sure Eleanor had more important things to do

than listen to FDR's insults.

Oh!

Will you take this historical debate into the hall, please?

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah, take a seat, please.

I've asked the two of you out here for two reasons.

Um, first of all, I happen to know

that the two of you have known and liked one another

for quite some time. Is that correct?

- Sure. - Right.

Yes, well, this tells me that whatever is going on

between the two of you now is temporary.

And I'm confident that once you settle your differences

you will once again be, at the very least, good friends.

Now all you need is a quiet place to do that.

Okay?

- Right. - Sure.

Well, what was the second reason?

I need a quiet place to teach my history class.

So if you'll excuse me..

Eric, I didn't wanna say this in front of Mr. Moore

but I don't know how you and I can be friends

after you insulted me and my family.

Is that your idea of a nice date?

Hey, you gotta admit

it's not easy spending the evening

with Howdy and Mrs. Doody.

You're doing it again, look

if you can't say anything nice, just don't say anything.

Great, Simone. Then that'll be four of us not talkin'.

Look, Simone..

...I liked them. Really.

And I-I was a jerk.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I walked out.

They really like you.

I know, they told me.

Well, why didn't you tell me?

I tried to tell you ten times.

[sighs] Look, if we're gonna go out, we gotta communicate.

I know, I guess it's gonna be difficult

you and I being so different.

But I think it might be worth it, Simone.

You wanna try again...this Friday?

You can even bring your parents along.

No, I'd really rather it just be us.

- If that's okay. - That's definitely okay.

Eric, I have a confession to make.

There was another reason I didn't mind my parents coming.

I guess I was a little afraid to be alone with you.

Tsk. Come on, Simone. You can trust me.

It's not you I didn't trust.

Yourself?

I don't think about poetry all the time.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Hot messages for you.

[hissing]

- This is getting pretty good. - Yeah.

Big weekend plans here. Hmm.

- Nice doin' business with you. - Mm-hmm.

Alright, B plus. Mm-mm-mm.

Alright, Babette.

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