Original subtitles

(Charlie) Previously on "Head Of The Class.."

I just got off the phone with the committee

and with Mr. Kirov in Moscow.

- Are we going? - We're going!

[cheering]

[theme music]

We check in at the hotel

study, dinner, study and lights out.

'Tomorrow, it's study, study, study'

'right up until the academic meet.'

Shh!

This place is bugged.

Dr. Samuels, you have to give them one free day.

[chandelier rattling]

(Samuels) 'Look at these wires!'

They play hard ball, we play hard ball.

[creaking]

[crash]

Do you know what a nerd is?

Nerd? No.

[chuckles]

- Who am I telling? - I'm Alan Pinkard.

Young Americans for Freedom?

Whatever you're believin', I don't.

- Laura? - Eric?

This is definitely not the Russia

I saw on National Geographic.

Are you looking forward to meeting the rest of the family?

- No, I'm not in any rush. - Good.

If you like, I can show you a little bit of Moscow.

Which women are the most beautiful

American or Russian?

Russian women. Definitely.

This year's Moscow Academic Team.

[instrumental music]

[crowd applauding]

Where are kids we played against in New York?

Unfortunately, none of them were good enough

to make this team.

- Uh-oh. - Uh-oh.

[speaking in foreign language]

- What does that mean? - Uh-oh.

Oh.

[instrumental music]

What's going on here? Lunch break is over!

Why aren't you studying?

Why, I think it's a case of burn out, sir.

They need a rest!

I no longer care what you think.

It was your free day that got us into this mess.

We're going in up against a super team and we're not ready.

Well, no matter what it takes we're going to get ready.

Arvid! The President of the United States?

Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Park

Lexington, Broadway, fifths..

I have a new idea.

Gang...you need to rest.

- That's a good thinking. - Yeah.

It, uh...it'll be three hours

till the bus gets ready to leave for the meet.

So, I want you to go back to your rooms and relax

and...rest

recuperate, regenerate..

[chuckles] I'll go to my room and regurgitate.

Is this a lucky break or what?

[scoffs] You're not kidding. Lead me to that pillow.

Are you crazy?

Do you realize what's waiting for us at the space museum?

Yeah! Trouble. Dennis, we'd never make it back.

Okay, Arvid. You snore while I score.

I'll just tell Sonya you couldn't make it.

Bye.

I wanna thank you for getting me over here.

My cousin's coming to pick me up in a few minutes.

- I'm gonna see my whole family. - Oh, that's great, Eric.

Yeah, it's gonna be great for my article

in Scholastic Digest, too.

"A day in the life of a Russian Family."

- Day? - Yeah.

T-the bus leaves in three hours.

Oh, Mr. Moore, I'll be back.

Besides, they're not gonna need me, anyway.

Okay, j-just be sure that you're here, okay?

I will. I will.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Hey, Arvid. Look at this! Lambda One.

That's the one with the dogs on it.

- Oh! - They were so cute.

- 'Belka and Strelka.' - 'Belka and Strelka?'

Those were their names.

Belka and Strelka. That's nice.

I think that's what we'll call you.

Belka and Strelka.

[scoffs] Come on.

No, it's good. My little Belka's so shy.

But my big Strelka's so cuddly.

[chuckles]

[guitar music]

Dobry den.

Dobry den.

[speaking in foreign language]

Uh, ye..

[speaking in foreign language]

No, I'm sorry.

Uh, then I will speak my not so good English, okay?

- Okay. - I'm musician.

I'm in Moscow for concert.

I came to put flowers on Chekhov's grave.

[instrumental music]

We shall find peace.

We shall hear the angels

we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.

- Uncle Vanya? - Right.

Now, in Russian.

[speaking in foreign language]

That's beautiful.

[applause]

[laughing]

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

[applause]

Uh..

[speaking in foreign language]

[laughter]

Uh, how'd I do?

- Heh-heh. Great. - Great?

[laughter]

How you doin'?

[The Beatles singing "Back in the USSR"]

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Flew in from Miami Beach BOAC ♪

♪ Didn't get to bed last night ♪

♪ On the way the paper bag was on my knee ♪

♪ Man I had a dreadful flight ♪

♪ I'm back in the USSR ♪

♪ You don't know how lucky you are boy ♪

♪ Back in the USSR ♪

♪ Been away so long I hardly knew the place ♪

♪ Gee it's good to be back home ♪

♪ Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case ♪

♪ Honey disconnect the phone ♪

♪ I'm back in the USSR ♪

♪ You don't know how lucky you are boy ♪

♪ Back in the US back in the US ♪

♪ Back in the USSR ♪

Why don't you tell me what you believe about America?

Okay.

Many Russians think

that everybody is in debt.

There is no culture.

Nobody can afford to go to the hospital

but everybody has a gun.

There...see, that is a major misconception about America.

Not everyone owns a gun.

In fact...uh, there's only one gun.

- Really? - Uh-huh.

For every four people.

[chuckles]

♪ Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out ♪

♪ They leave the west behind ♪

♪ And Moscow girls make me sing and shout ♪

♪ That Georgia's always on my my-my-my-my-my-my-my-my mind ♪

♪ Oh show me around your snow-peaked mountains ♪

♪ Way down south ♪

♪ Take me to your daddy's farm ♪

♪ Let me hear your balalaikas ringing out ♪

♪ Come and keep your comrade warm ♪

♪ I'm back in the USSR ♪

♪ Don't know how lucky you are boy ♪

♪ Back in the USSR ♪

♪ Oh let me tell you honey ♪♪

Sometimes when my pupils understand something

I get a feeling.. how do you say it?

Money can't buy.

It's a very interesting way for you to put it.

I know what you mean.

What are you trying to teach them?

What do you want them to learn?

I want them..

...to get used to this new openness..

...and to treasure it

so, it won't be so easy to take it away from them.

- And you? - Heh.

I guess we show up every day, we try to keep 'em interested.

Try to get them to know each other well enough

so that they won't even think about going to war.

Yes.

- Will I see you again? - Yes.

- Will you come to the meet? - Of course.

[speaking in foreign language]

[chuckles] Oh!

[upbeat music]

(Arvid) It's beautiful.

Soviet and American working together in space.

(Dennis) And here we are...just a bunch of ordinary people all together

havin' a good time, lovin' each other.

It's easy if people will just try.

You know, I agree with you, Natasha.

In fact, I don't know what it is but

I just feel like kissin' the first Russian I see.

What are you doing?

Come on, Natasha.

Now, I know you work for the KGB

so why don't we just stop playing games here?

I don't have a lot of time.

I work for the KGB, so what?

Oh, my God!

So, you're supposed to try to seduce me

and then get secrets from me, right?

I work in the KGB cafeteria.

Cafeteria?

Yes, I operate the cash register.

She operates the cash register!

Thanks, Arvid, I can hear.

[speaking in foreign language]

It was nice meeting you.

I hope you go back where you came from, soon.

Aw, N-Natasha! Natasha, I was only kidding.

Would you come on?

Sonya, I'm sorry about that.

I-I didn't know that..

I know, I know, it's not your fault.

Wait. No, wait. Girls. Sonya! Girls!

Well, how do we get back?

(Samuels) 'Are you happy now, Mr. Moore?'

'We're going into the competition with half a team.'

(Charlie) 'Look, Arvid and Dennis are smart kids.'

'They'll find a way to meet us there.'

[instrumental music]

Alright, Arvid, here's the train. Let's go. It's over here.

- Right-right, it's over here. - Let's go. Arvid, come on.

Over here.

Arvid!

- Arvid! - Dennis!

- Arvid! Come on! - Dennis!

- Come on! - No! Don't leave me!

- 'Don't leave me! Please stop!' - 'Arvid! Arvid!'

(Arvid) 'Stop!'

[instrumental music]

(Samuels) All I'm saying is that, two maybe three of

our members are missing, we want the right to bring them

into the game as soon as they get here.

- Nyet, nyet, nyet. - Da, da, da.

- They'll be here any second. - Nyet, nyet, nyet.

Da, da, dum.

[upbeat music]

[applause]

- Dennis! - Arvid, Arvid!

Arvid! Arvid, stop!

- Arvid, stop! - I can't stop it!

- 'Arvid! Arvid!' - I can't..

I don't know how it works!

Wait for me. Arvid! Wait! Wait!

And now, it is my pleasure to introduce

the moderator of tonight's contest.

Mr. Ivan Papov.

[applause]

Hey!

[laughing]

Come on, come on!

Who was the composer of the operas

"Nabucco," "Aida" and "Falstaff?"

- American? - Puccini.

No. Soviets?

- Verdi. - Correct.

[applause]

[indistinct chatter]

- Get on the-- - Arvid. Arvid.

Cops, cops, cops! They're lookin' at us.

- Maybe they speak English. - Yeah.

- Wait! No. - What?

They're after us, they're after us, Arvid. Natasha turned us in.

- No. - Yup. I can see it right now.

They're gonna send us to Lubyanka Prison.

- Prison? - Or Siberia.

- Siberia? - We better split up. Look.

You go that way, I'm gonna go this way.

- Okay. - I love you, buddy.

Me too.

[speaking in foreign language]

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter]

Correct. Correct.

[buzzer buzzing]

That's correct!

[applause]

Is this how it ends?

Our team going down the tubes

and me longing for the sight of Eric and Dennis and Arvid.

Oh, Arvid.

[speaking in foreign language]

Hey, come on! Hey, help me out, guys. Help!

Hey! Oh, this is just like New York.

I wanna thank you for everything.

In New York..

...my family...the New York part of our family..

[speaking in foreign language]

...we've got some problems.

My mother and father, they, they don't get along very well.

They-they don't even live together.

So..

...it means a lot to me to know that I have a, a family here.

[speaking in foreign language]

I wish I could take you all back to New York with me.

[speaking in foreign language]

I could use a grandpa

and a grandma.

I, I never knew you could..

[speaking in foreign language]

...love people so much in such a short period of time.

[speaking in foreign language]

I guess, that's what a family is.

[speaking in foreign language]

[instrumental music]

Go ahead, America.

"Absalom, Absalom!" by William Faulkner.

Correct!

[applause]

"Huckleberry Finn" by Mark Twain.

(Ivan) 'Correct.'

[applause]

- So, how are we doing? - I don't..

Ah! Eric, get in there! Get in there! Get in there!

- Relax, relax, relax. - Time out!

[upbeat music]

[dog barking]

"The Threepenny Opera" by Bertolt Brecht.

Who wrote the music?

- America? - Kurt Vile.

Correct.

[applause]

[buzzer buzzing]

Correct.

[applause]

[panting]

(Samuels) One more point! We're doing it!

So, I guess this is KGB headquarters, huh?

No, this is the academic competition.

We've been looking for you. Good luck, Amerikanskiy.

- Yeah? - Yes.

- Da? - Da.

[laughing]

Wait!

Atomic number is 102.

Halogen.

The answer's geodesy.

Correct.

[applause]

[thud]

[indistinct chatter]

- Time out! Time out! - Blunden!

Blunden, where have you been? What happened?

It's a long story. KGB, police--

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

- Okay. Where's Arvid? - I don't know, I lost him.

He's out there somewhere.

Hey, help! Help!

Stop, please. Help. Stop, please!

Please! Hey! Please, stop!

- Um, scouts? - Scouts.

Uh, Amerikanskiy. Eaglesky.

I've got to get, I've got to get to my academic meet.

What is the temperature of the center of the sun?

- America? - 10 to 20 million centigrade.

- Correct. - Yes!

Toricelli, 1643.

It is impossible to determine both the position

and the momentum of the subatomic particle

with arbitrarily high accuracy.

- Correct! - Yes!

Boy, I love that kid.

The contest is tied.

We will have a short intermission

followed by the tie breaker.

[indistinct yelling]

Okay, stop!

The round contains a question from each team.

The first team to win a round wins the match.

The United States team will begin the questioning.

Which player hit more home runs than anyone

in the history of American professional baseball?

Josh Gibson, he was first to play

'in the Negro Leagues in 1930s.'

(Ivan) 'Correct!'

[applause]

The Soviets question, please.

Who first succeeded in creating

the modern periodic table of the elements?

[indistinct whispering]

- We'll be okay. - 'Yes?'

The Russian chemist, Dmitri Ivanovich Mendeleev

in 1869.

- Correct. - Yes!

[cheering]

[applause]

USA, please.

Who was the youngest United States President?

John Fitz Gerald Kennedy.

Age 43.

Soviets, incorrect.

(Alan) 'It was Theodore Roosevelt, age 42.'

The Soviet team has missed a question.

The United States team will win if they answer correctly.

Well, Soviets.

The Soviet Unions launched Lambda One in 1960

sending two small dogs into space.

'What were the names of the dogs?'

You gotta be kidding.

[chuckles]

I know this, I know this. Just be cool, just be cool.

Um, the two dogs, there were two of 'em.

Uh, their names, uh..

The first dogs name was...Strelka.

Strelka was the first dog.

'And, uh, uh..'

[stammering] It sounds like..

Um..

(Arvid) Okay.

[panting] Alright. Oh! Uh..

Thanks, guys. You did it good.

[speaking in foreign language]

Uh, yes, yes.

Uh, there were, there were two dogs..

[stammering] I know this, I know this, really.

- Strelka...it's, uh.. - And? And?

You got, uh..

[panting]

Uh, it sounds like Strelka. Sounds like Strelka, it's, uh..

[groaning]

Five seconds.

[intense music]

- Hey! - Belka!

Correct. The United States team wins!

[all cheering]

Yeah!

[crowd applauding]

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[instrumental music]

♪ Hello my friend ♪

♪ Come sit by me ♪

♪ We gotta do somethin' ♪

♪ About this insanity ♪

♪ We're lost in the darkness ♪

♪ Go dabbing who's wrong and who is right ♪

♪ Well it's time we turned on the lights ♪

♪ Take what we know and go a step ♪

♪ Beyond the lies ♪

♪ It's time we look ♪

♪ Behind the eye ♪

♪ Faraway lands ♪

♪ Faraway places ♪

♪ It's just an echo ♪

♪ From an old closing door ♪

♪ We're touching the hands ♪

♪ And finding the faces somehow ♪

♪ There's just no faraway ♪

♪ Anymore ♪

♪ Faraway lands ♪

♪ Faraway places ♪

♪ Faraway lands ♪

♪ Faraway places ♪

♪ Faraway lands ♪

Uh, are you totally furious with me?

Furious? Why?

[sighs]

I just was, I tried to get away

but I was just overwhelmed by all this love and family

and happiness.

It was really the greatest experience of my life.

Good. That is why we came here, isn't it?

- Oh, yes. - Da.

Spasibo.

♪ Faraway places ♪

♪ Faraway lands ♪♪

♪ Faraway lands ♪

♪ Faraway places ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Faraway lands ♪

♪ Faraway places ♪

[instrumental continues]

♪ Oh-oh ♪♪