Original subtitles

[theme music]

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[instrumental music]

Okay, in the few minutes we have remaining

I'd like to propose uh, a new project.

I think you'll find it an exciting way

to look at history, okay?

- Okay. - Try this.

Who are the people who inspired

the historical figures that we study?

- Alan? - Who cares?

Who cares?

How can knowing that be

of any value to anyone

unless they're in the center box at "Hollywood Squares?"

Not that I enjoy agreeing with Alan

Mr. Moore, but he's right.

- 'Oh.' - Okay.

Lo-look, folks, we have discussed this

time and again.

History is not made up

simply of places and facts.

It's made up of people.

I mean, who..

Who made Roosevelt, Roosevelt?

Who turned Jack Kennedy into John F. Kennedy?

Who turned Michael Jackson into Diana Ross?

I mean, I'm just trying to point out that

even major historical figures

have people known and unknown who inspired them.

Look, look at your own life, okay?

Everybody, I mean..

[chuckles] Everyone was inspired by someone.

Well, who inspired you, Mr. Moore?

(all) Yeah.

Actually, it was my uncle.

Charlie. I was named after him.

I mean, he was a great guy. He was really wild.

He was vibrant and funny

and he was full of tricks.

He was the one that encouraged me

to leave Weiser, Idaho

and get out into the world.

He..

He-he ran this traveling carnival

that he won in a Crap game.

And one summer..

...he took me with him.

And for the first time

I began to see what America was about.

[instrumental music]

He's been dead about 20 years.

But I, I still picture him.

Mr. Moore?

Remember us down here on the planet Earth?

Right.

Well...um, here's that assignment.

Thirty famous people.

I wanna know who inspired them

and I'd like to know by Monday.

- Monday? - Oh!

- 'Come on.' - You're kidding.

- I am? - Mr. Moore, please.

We have finals coming up.

We don't have time to waste

playing Trivial Pursuit.

Yeah, Mr. Moore. Come on, that's really not fair.'

- We have finals coming up. - Other papers, too.

Well, I'm assigning it, so you get to do it.

- So get to pick up a list. - Come on. It's not fair.

[indistinct chatter]

[sighs]

Tell you, Uncle Charlie.

It is like this so often lately, I-I..

I-I keep trying to open 'em up, you know

but I'm just not getting through to 'em like I used to.

[instrumental music]

- Goodnight, everyone. - Goodnight, Charlie.

Oh, uh, Charlie, Dr. Samuels wanted to see you.

Oh, darn. He missed me.

There you are, Mr. Moore.

Your semester evaluations of the IHP were due today.

Didn't you see them? I-I put them in your mailbox.

You put half of them in my mailbox.

- Where is the other five? - Tomorrow.

You can't tell me you read the first five already.

That's beside the point.

We're talking here about respect for my orders.

Capeesh? What does it say on that door?

"Rincipal."

Huh?

What happened to my 'P?'

Someone stole my 'P.'

Calm down, Dr. Samuels.

We will get you another 'P.'

Mr. Moore, I know you're thinking

you're doing us all a big favor by teaching around here.

But it would be nice if you did your work on time.

Crying out loud.

You know, I've just about had it with him

and this job and everything.

Uh, Charlie, everybody gets grumpy before finals.

Ha. No. No, I'm talking beyond grumpy.

This is adios, amigos.

Hey, whoa.

We're getting just an incy-wincy bit sensitive here.

- Aren't we? - Uncle Charlie.

Please tell me. What am I doing here?

I didn't come to New York to

to be a permanent substitute teacher.

Well, I know, you came here

so you could take your clothes off on stage

and dance naked in front of people.

That-that was just one show. "Hair."

I mean, it was the '60s.

I wish you could've seen some of my later work.

I saw it, I saw it. We see everything up there.

Not that we wanna see everything up there.

God, I miss junk food. Hm.

I mean, oh, God! I miss junk food.

The family always called you the black sheep.

Ho-how did you get in up there?

Fake ID.

Honey, if I had a body..

Look, kid, you belong here.

You're a natural-born teacher.

You were always a teacher, even when you were little.

[instrumental music]

(Uncle Charlie) Okay, kiddo.

(Uncle Charlie) 'My deal, here we go.'

Down and dirty, hey, wait a minute, what's going on here?

Yep, that's a light deck. You holdin' out on me?

- No. - Look at that.

Got an ace right behind your ear.

I'll say, that's a wild.

Now, as I was saying before

you will find that the girls

in Chicago and New York

are quite a bit different

from the farm girls around here.

They will actually allow you to kiss them

without putting an engagement ring on their fingers.

- Uncle Charlie! - Wha-wha-what?

You're dealing from the bottom of the deck.

I sincerely hope so, this takes a lot of practice.

- You'd cheat your own nephew? - Charles!

I'm trying to show you how to do this.

You wanna get ahead in life

you gotta have a little bit of an edge.

- Not by cheating. - Wise up, Chuckie.

It's a cruel world out there.

Everybody cheats a little bit. Play those.

Winning isn't everything.

It's how you play the game.

If a guy has gotta cheat, he's lower than a lizard's liver.

If I want to be preached at on a Sunday morning

I will go to church.

Alright. Off the top. Here we go.

Aren't you a picky, picky player?

I hate that in a player.

I wasn't that preachy, was I?

You? Are you kidding?

The only thing that saved you

from being a TV evangelist was you had ethics.

Then, of course, there wasn't any TV.

Good. You're a teacher. Don't fight it.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, hey. Hey!

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Mr. Moore, if I could speak for the others..

Considering our workload to prepare for finals

could you please rescind the assignment you gave us?

Uh-huh. Mr. Moore, you're not being fair.

Not fair?

Need I remind you? I am the teacher.

- You are the students. - 'Come on.'

Mr. Moore, be reasonable.

Yeah, but we still won't have time to do this

and study for our finals.

[indistinct chatter]

That's it, Uncle Charlie, I have had it.

Chuckie! You are overreacting.

Oh, no.

I-I've, I've taught them everything I can teach them.

I've used up my usefulness.

Uncle Charlie, it's time for me to get back

where I really belong.

Where is that? Bartending?

- No, the theatre. - Oh, the theatre.

You just cannot wait

to take your clothes off in public, can you?

Uncle Charlie, I-I think you have

a little misconception here.

I mean, there is more to theatre than just getting undressed.

Yeah, I know. You told me that time, backstage.

Matter of fact, that's the last time we saw each other.

Remember you were with that girl, what's her name?

That girl, that girl you later married.

Why?

You know, Uncle Charles..

Uncle Charles?

I could just feel your vibes out there in the audience.

In fact, during "Good Morning Starshine"

I looked out, and I could see your aura.

You peeped at my aura? We hardly know each other.

What did I tell you, Uncle Charlie?

- Is she heavy or what? - She's not that heavy.

I saw her in the nude scene.

So, um, did you get into the message of the play

or were you too uptight to go with the flow?

Too uptight to go.

Well, I, I thought I was flowing along pretty good there.

- Far out. - Out of sight.

You know, if we're gonna have peace

we need to come together.

The play says it all.

"Let The Sun Shine In."

I mean, is there anything groovier than that?

Andrea majored in Philosophy at Antioch.

Okay, let's leave it at that.

Okay, I was, I was young.

And that's the life you wanna get back to?

The life of the theatre, yes.

Right now, it is.

[indistinct chatter]

Look, an assignment

is an assignment.

'If you don't want to do it'

as I've always told you

the choice is yours.

I can hand out F's with the best of them.

- Oh, Mr. Moore. - Alright, let's begin.

I believe the next president in the order of succession

is William Howard Taft.

Yeah, just like that, Jack.

Yeah, you got it.

Goodnight..

Well, congratulations, Dr. Samuels.

Finally doing some work on principle.

My 'P' is my problem, okay?

Now, here's your problem.

These evaluations are unacceptable.

You found something critical to say

about every kid in the IHP.

Yeah. Well, they're brilliant but they're not perfect.

We could all use a little improvement.

Aha, well, this is not the sort of thing that you write down

for the school board to see. Change these.

Dr. Samuels, I'm not gonna change my evaluations.

Okay, if you don't change them, I will.

Dr. Samuels.

You know what, I don't care. You do whatever you want.

Change 'em, don't change 'em. Fine.

I-I can't go on fighting.

Next week is the end of the semester.

After that, I promise you, we'll never argue again.

- Finally, changing your ways. - 'No.'

I'm changing my occupation.

Starting next semester, you need a new history teacher.

[instrumental music]

[whistling]

Hey, what's going on out here?

Bird drag racing?

- How's breakfast coming, Chuck? - Almost ready.

Ah, good. Thank you, my boy.

Hey, move, Charlie, move, Charlie.

I will let an expert do it.

Huh? You call this ready?

Where's your bacon? Where's your sausage?

Well, I don't have any of that stuff up, Charlie.

You don't have any?

You know how I was looking forward to bacon and sausage?

We don't get any pork up there.

- I'm sorry! - It's alright.

Well, now you're insanely happy, huh?

So, what happens to your kids in the IHP, then?

- Oh, they'll be fine. - Oh, yeah?

They will.

Look. They're very bright, Uncle Charlie. I..

Besides, I don't think they're really interested

in what I wanna teach them anymore.

Is that a fact? So, uh, tell me something.

Who's gonna take care of 'em after you've gone?

[sighs] They'll get another teacher.

That easy, huh?

I happen to know those kids chewed up

every sub thrown at 'em before you arrived on the scene.

How did you know that?

What do you think I'm doin' up there all day?

Getting coffee for God?

Look. Let me clue you in on something.

Those kids are not going to accept any sub

after you're gone.

Okay. I'll bite.

What do you think will happen?

So, this is the first day of class, after your departure.

[bell rings]

Okay. So, who's gonna teach?

- Dorfman? - Oh, no.

Okay. Okay.

Uh.. Hi!

Uh, y-y-you know me.

I'm Mr. Dorfman.

[chuckles] You-you'll have to forgive me. I, uh..

This history thing is kinda new to me.

So, uh, where are we?

Ah! William Howard Taft!

Well, I-I think remember a little about him.

He was a President of the United States.

And-and if I remember, he was a fat guy.

Whoa, whoa, wait, Dorfman, I wanna write that down.

"He was a fat guy."

I don't want any lip out of you, Mardian.

And take off those sunglasses.

(Dennis) 'What's wrong with sunglasses?'

What's going on here?

Read a comic book, bubba.

We've got finals to study for.

Look, I'm the teacher here, I say what goes.

[laughing]

This is ridiculous.

It-it won't happen like this, I mean

these kids would never behave this way.

And-and there'll be another teacher to replace me

the same way that I replaced Mr. Thomas.

If you say so, Chuckie.

Gee-whiz, Uncle Charlie, I can't

live my whole life for them.

[exhales] They're gonna graduate, anyway.

I wouldn't always be around.

Yeah, but see, that's a natural passing.

They know that. They expect that.

If you just quit on them now, they could..

Look..

You knew I was gonna enter

the old Pine Box Derby one day.

But you didn't expect me to go when I did, did you?

You wanted me around, at least for a little while.

So we could talk, at times like these, right?

Yeah, right.

But I checked out before you were ready.

And it changed your whole life, remember?

Now, what do you think it's gonna mean to these kids

if you just split up?

Uncle Charlie, that is a completely different thing.

I am one of many teachers.

Oh! Is that so?

How'd you like to drop in on their tenth reunion?

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hail, hail! The gang's all here.

(Arvid) 'Maria?'

- Maria! - Arvid?

Hi, baby!

I-I didn't recognize you.

You look so, uh, available.

Well, what have you been doing?

Oh, you know, uh, getting divorced

shopping, channeling, aerobics.

(Arvid) 'Wh-what happened to your career?'

(Maria) Oh, I just kinda forgot about it.

I mean, nothing else seemed important anymore

after Mr. Moore left.

I know what you mean.

It didn't hit me till three years out of college.

Then, life just seemed to lose its zing.

That's why I left the space program for my butcher shop.

[gasps] You own a butcher shop, huh?

So, I was just bumming around, looking for the meaning of life.

That's when I ran into Jawaharlal.

I was telling fortunes on the beach in the Caribbean.

He's good.

Told me I had no future.

So, now I shill for him.

Well, I-I guess we all changed, when..

(Eric) 'Yeah, I should have never married her.'

It's a disaster.

You are the disaster.

He just mopes around the house all day.

'He won't write, we're practically starving..'

...now that I intend to give up mud wrestling.

Anybody wanna buy a chicken farm?

[coughs]

Somehow, this makes sense to me.

Such a brilliant mind.

How could you be happy replacing

Vanna White on "Wheel of Fortune?"

(Charlie) 'Janice?'

Everybody, look who's here.

My kids.

What happened?

Look at you!

You're all bums.

Uncle Charlie, it would never turn out like this.

Believe me, they are so ambitious.

They'll do just fine.

You don't have to worry about that.

Come on, kid, I'm just a figment of your imagination.

You're the one who's worried.

Okay, so, I'm a little worried.

Uh, I think that's natural.

But I-I-I can't go around

trying to solve everybody else's problems.

You know, I got a life of my own to live.

I got a little theatre company in Newark to run and a..

Well, I told Samuels on Friday

and I'm gonna tell the kids on Monday.

[instrumental music]

[bell rings]

[indistinct chatter]

- Good morning! - Morning!

Okay, uh, before we start class this morning

I'd like to say something.

'Over the weekend, I did some thinking'

and, uh, I made some decisions

and I'd like to share them with you.

First, um..

...I know that you have a lot of serious cramming to do

in this coming week.

So, uh, compared to that, I'm sure my little assignment

must seem, uh, as one of you noted, trivial.

So, let's just forget my assignment, okay?

Cram to your heart's delight.

- M-Mr. Moore? - Yes.

We've already done the assignment.

- 'Yeah.' - 'Yes.'

After Friday, we all talked it over

and we agreed that we've been acting

like ungrateful brats.

Even I've been less than perfect.

You've done a lot for us, always encouraging us

to look at history in a new way, and..

Well, I guess we started

to take you for granted.

Sorry.

(all) 'Sorry.'

And in addition to doing the assignment

we also thought that we could each tell you individually

the person who inspired each of us most

the way your Uncle Charlie inspired you.

And I thought I'd be the one to start.

The person who's inspired me the most...Charlie Moore.

Simone.

Charlie Moore.

Charlie Moore.

- Charlie Moore. - Charlie Moore.

(Dennis) 'Mr. Moore.'

(Jawaharlal) Mr. Moore.

Charlie Moore.

Charlie Moore.

Mick Jagger.

Charlie Moore.

So, what was it that you wanted to share with us?

- Right. - Yeah, tell us.

Well...uh, matter of fact

I was going to tell you that..

...I resigned last Friday.

- What? - What?

- Why? - You resigned?

Uh, lately, I feel like I'm not getting through to you.

To, to get you to, to be open

to the alternatives in your lives.

See, that's really important to me.

To...to let you know that

winning isn't everything.

Well, we know that.

- Sometimes, we forget. - 'Yeah.'

So do I.

Well, I-I-I spent most of the weekend chatting..

...with a distant relative and, uh..

[scoffs]

I realized how much I miss theatre.

I also realized that I derive a-a similar pleasure

and real satisfaction from doing this.

And, uh..

...I would miss all of you.

So, I decided to withdraw my resignation.

- Alright! - Yeah!

I knew it.

Let's get back to the reason we're all here, okay?

Uh, last Friday, I think we left off

we were about to grapple with William Howard Taft.

[instrumental music]

(Charlie) 'Okay, Taft.'

Someone once said, "He was a fat guy."

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

(Uncle Charlie) 'Solitaire?'

Hey, let's play a man's game.

As I recall, you, uh, liked poker.

Right, Bogey and Houston got a hot game

goin' on upstairs later

but I can play a few hands.

Deal! You remember how to deal, don't you?

Five cards off the top.

- Yeah, I remember five cards. - Good.

- Okay, deal. - Deal.

Deck...sounds a little light.

What?

Excuse me.

Kid, you're learnin'.

[theme music]

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