Original subtitles

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[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Hi, Alan.

[school bell ringing]

Hi.

- Hi. - Hey, Mr. Moore.

Hey. Excuse me.

[sighs]

Alan, uh, you seem upset.

No, I'm fine, I'm fine, really.

You sure?

No, I'm not fine.

You guys might as well know.

[Alan sobbing] Martha Cabot and I have..

We aren't..

- We just.. - You broke up?

[sobbing]

I'm sorry, Alan. I'm sorry.

It's-it's okay, I just, I really need my friends right now.

Hey, Alan, I-I know what you're going through.

I mean, I'm the poster boy for rejection.

Please, just go on with the lesson.

Okay, if you wanna talk about this after class?

I'll be fine.

Okay.

- So.. - Um, Mr. Moore?

Could you wait a minute, please?

I just have to know what happened.

- Alan, you're so.. - Yeah!

[indistinct chatter]

Come on, Alan, what went wrong?

Did she find out you'd experimented

with marijuana in your youth?

- 'Dennis.' - Oh, come on, Dennis.

Wait a minute, I mean..

Let's show a little concern

for our friend here, I mean, he's..

...suffering from a heart wound

and we don't need to rub salt in it.

You know...let's give him a chance to heal here.

I think he'd appreciate a little privacy.

- Right. - Sorry, Mr. Moore.

You're right.

I called her at least three times a day.

'I'd send her stuff, love notes'

cards, flowers, cute little gifts.

She said I was smothering her. I said that was nonsense.

And we argued, and-and as usual

she had two or three things to shoot down

everything I said.

There was no way I could win, so I caved.

I told her, I'd change my personality.

And I was like a little puppy dog.

Maybe she didn't like you licking her face.

(Maria) 'Eric.'

And then last night, she phoned

and she said that I was getting too serious.

And that she just wanted to..

...to be friends.

- Oh. - Oh!

Yeah, okay, okay, uh, listen, Alan..

If you'd like to be excused from class for a few minutes--

No, no, no. I'll-I'll be fine.

You're certain?

Well, maybe if you wouldn't mind doubling up on my homework.

It might...help take my mind off of things.

Yeah, sure, sure.

A deal.

Well, um, all down through history

every time it's been decided that the end

does justify the means--

[sobbing] Oh, I was so happy.

[instrumental music]

And so we can conclude

that South Korea provoked North Korea into an invasion.

Alan?

Oh, yes, I suppose that's right.

Right?

He just said South Korea started the Korean war.

Oh, no, uh, that's wrong.

Debate him.

Oh, well, we have the UN resolution.

And, uh..

Well, I don't know the exact one, but we have it.

And, well, it was voted on by a-a lot of countries, um..

Ours, uh, E-England, France.

Uh, so, who are you gonna believe?

Him or me?

Alan, what's the matter with you?

You're not...concentrating.

[sighs]

I'm sorry, uh.. Can I try again, please?

Try again?

It's a debate, there is no try again.

There's a buzzer, and you're out of here.

I'll get it together.

[sighs]

I'm sorry, everybody.

I-I know I'm letting you guys down.

Oh, you'll be okay, Alan. You'll get your act together.

Oh, y-yes, yes, we have until Saturday.

- Uh-huh! - Sure.

The City Debating Championship is Saturday

and he's out with sprained brain.

It's Ty-D-Bol time.

He couldn't win an argument with a parrot.

Alan.

Alan?

Come on, I wanna talk to you.

Darlene, I know I've been acting childish.

That's not what I was going to say, Alan.

- What? - Look at me.

I've seen how much you've been hurting for the past few days.

And I just want you to know

how much it hurts me to see you hurt.

Sympathy from you, Darlene?

This isn't like you.

Alan!

Alan, would you listen to me?

How do you know what I'm like? You never see the real me.

I know I'm to blame, because for some crazy reason

I always hide the way I feel.

I have just been such a fool.

What do you mean?

Well, I should've told you

how I felt a long time ago, it's just that..

...we're so alike, you and I. Afraid to show our emotions.

Yeah.

The truth is, Alan..

...I have always been attracted to you.

I just thought that you'd laugh at me if I ever told you.

Darlene, I.. I had no idea.

'Course not.

By the time I got up the courage to tell you

is when you started seeing her.

Her? That's over.

No, it is not over, Alan.

It's not over

until you put her out of your mind.

It's not over until you put her out of your heart.

And, Alan, I just want you to know..

...that when that time comes..

...I'll be waiting.

- Oh, Darlene. - Alan.

[instrumental music]

[chuckling]

[sighs] Darlene, you've changed my life.

- I don't know what to say. - There's nothing to say, Alan.

I know just how you're feeling

because I'm feeling the same way.

It's just incredible.

(Alan) 'Yeah, it is incredible.'

I mean, just a few days ago, I was...crushed.

- And now, thanks to you-- - Shh.

People are watching.

I don't care.

Not here, Alan. I'll see you in class.

I guess so.

- Darlene? - Huh?

You and Alan?

I didn't realize you were that lonely.

You can't be serious.

- Of course, I'm serious. - But Alan?

- I mean, he's so-so-- - So starched? I know.

But do you know what really attracts me to him, Simone?

It's the way he's always trying so hard

to hide his vulnerability.

Oh, come on, Darlene.

You and Alan have always been rivals.

- Yeah. - Hmm.

Love shows itself in funny ways.

[instrumental music]

Let's talk about the civilian- military confrontation of 1951.

The big one.

President Truman fired General MacArthur.

Was he right? Was he wrong?

Um, any ideas? Arvid?

Uh, Truman said, and I quote

"I fired him because he wouldn't

"respect the authority of the president.

"I didn't fire him, because he was a dumb SOB.

Although, he was."

That's good, Arvid.

Uh, Alan?

Well, I, uh, I, uh..

Oh, give it up, Mr. Moore. The boy's a vegetable.

No, he's not. Tell them, honey.

Okay, I will.

A World War I army major, Harry S. Truman

told a five-star General Douglas MacArthur

how to run a war.

Now, we did it in Korea and we did it again in Vietnam.

Now, it seems to me, that if we are going

to commit ourselves to a war..

...then we ought to make a final commitment.

And that is to win.

That's the Alan I know!

It's, uh, the one I know, too.

Distorting facts in support of a questionable point.

But...done very convincingly.

Thank you.

Alan, that was a marvelous performance.

Yours was pretty impressive, too.

[school bell ringing]

- See you tomorrow. - Alrighty.

- Do we have homework? - Yeah.

Uh, Darlene?

Can I talk to you for a moment?

Sure.

Be right with you, baby.

[clears throat]

- Listen, about you and Alan. - I know.

You've watched us, day after day

fighting like cats and dogs.

Nothing in common, except our mutual distaste

for one another's point of view.

And then suddenly, we're in love.

And you think it's strange.

No, I don't think it's strange.

I mean, just before the big debate, uh..

Alan's had his ego crushed

because his girlfriend has dumped him, and..

...yet, your love for him is rejuvenating his, uh..

...his powers of elocution.

I-I don't find that strange at all.

Do you remember Alan's philosophy?

"The end justifies the means."

- Yeah, situational ethics. - Exactly.

I'm just doing what I have to do.

Love him till we win the debate.

What about post-debate let-down, I mean..

It could be sort of painful for Alan.

Mr. Moore, don't worry, I'll let him down easy.

It's my specialty.

[instrumental music]

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And as Dwight D. Eisenhower once said

"It is hard for a mere man

to believe that a woman doesn't already have equal rights."

Mere man is afraid, that if women

were made equal to him, she'd be his superior.

And that's not Eisenhower, that's Socrates.

Thank you, girls.

We'll take five minutes before the next event.

Hi, Bernadette, how's it going?

Hi! What're you doing here on a Saturday?

Well, I just wanna see how the team is doing.

You know, I think, sometimes these things produce surprises.

Well, there's always something surprising at these debates.

They're scored just like a track meet.

Each team competes in eleven events throughout the school.

- Individual and team debates. - Right.

Expository, that's a prepared speech with props and charts.

Advocacy, arguing about a governmental position.

Extemporaneous, with notes impromptu, without notes.

Believe it or not, Bernadette

uh, we had debating in-in Idaho.

There's our first surprise.

- Ms. Meara, how's the score? - Excuse me.

We're doing great in Advocacy.

We're falling behind in Extemporaneous.

In plain English, we're getting murdered.

No way, Dr. Samuels.

Thanks to Darlene here

we just won another first.

- Erasmus just won Elocution. - We're tied.

It's us and them for all the marbles.

Go get it, tiger.

Oh, no. That means we'll be debating Martha Cabot.

Alan..

I'm here, remember?

Right, let's get 'em.

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There's Martha.

What am I doing here? I am not gonna be any good.

Alan, look at me. you are strong

you are brilliant, you are a winner.

And there just happens to be

a very beautiful young woman in love with you.

- There is? Who? - Alan.

Right.

I'm sorry, I'm fine.

Alan, you're more than fine.

You are a speech and debate stud.

Let's get started, please.

Alan.

- Nice to see you again, Martha. - Wrong.

I know you're uncomfortable after what I did to you.

- I'm handling it. - I don't think so.

Your eyes are bloodshot, your hair has lost its luster

and that is the worst Windsor knot I have ever seen.

Well, I, uh, I-I..

You're stammering.

And I just realized I'm taller than you are.

That's it, my knees are turning to fudge.

Alan, you can do it!

Today's final event is the SPAR.

Two speakers from each team.

The topic is

'"Government's right to secrecy'

'is more important than the people's right to know."'

What, do I agree with that? We're gonna kill 'em.

'Erasmus will speak for the motion.'

'Fillmore, against.'

Against!

You have one minute to prep.

[instrumental music]

This country is free, yes

but if we have to give up

a little of that freedom, temporarily

so that we may remain eternally free

then I say, amen.

Oh, that's wonderful.

[applauding]

[instrumental music]

In a democracy, the people's right to know is fundamental.

Secrecy breathes tyranny.

Now, some take the opposite view I know.

'One such person said'

'"It is the absolute right of the state'

to supervise the formation of public opinion."

The speaker was Joseph Goebbels.

The place, Nazi Germany. Thank you.

- Whoo! - Alan.

[applauding]

Quiet, please.

Will the judges hand in their slips?

I can't believe I made such a great speech

on something I don't even believe in.

(female #1) 'The silver medal goes to Erasmus High.'

'The gold to Fillmore.'

[cheering]

- Alright, captain, very nice. - Congratulations

Well, thanks to the love of a good woman

I was able to pull myself together.

Yeah.

Alan, can I speak to you for a moment?

- In the hall? - Sure, honey cakes.

[sighs]

(Martha) 'Alan.'

You weren't half bad.

- I was good and you know it. - Wrong, but good.

You were even moderately...exciting.

Well, listen, maybe we could get together.

- And you could buy me dinner. - Maybe.

Just as long as it's not that horrible Thai food you like.

[sighs]

- She's tough, but fair. - Yeah!

I don't know, Mr. Moore, she hurt me once.

Do you think I could live through that kind of

rejection again?

Actually, uh..

...if you feel like talking

after your conversation with Darlene, um

I'll be around.

Okay, thanks, I might take you up on it.

Sure.

It all depends on how Darlene handles it.

How Darlene handles what?

Well, come on, Mr. Moore, you've seen her.

I mean, she's hopelessly in love with me.

Head over heels time. Can't say that I blame her.

[chuckles] Yeah, well, uh..

It may not be that head over heels, you know.

I wish that were true.

The fact is I'm not that interested in her.

I mean, sure, it was just what my ego needed

after the Martha disaster, but, uh..

I haven't had the heart to tell her

until after the debate was over.

I mean, she could've completely crumbled.

- I had to think of the team. - Yeah.

Come with me.

Well, you know..

...that's terrific, you two..

You really deserve each other.

- Yeah, we're both winners. - Yeah.

- Tell him. Tell him. - Tell him what?

Okay.

Alan, I told you that I loved you

so you would get over Martha and be able

to function at the debate.

You did that to me?

Well, Alan, I had to, I couldn't risk us losing.

Tell her.

That was cold.

Tell her.

Darlene, I pretended to be in love with you.

Until after the debate was over.

- You pretended? - I had to.

I figured, if I told you the truth, you'd lose it.

Well, that was low, Alan.

Okay, um, so, you deceived him.

You manipulated her.

But...we won the debate.

Yeah, situational ethics.

Yeah, but what did you really win?

I mean, what do you know about each other now?

Well, I know how I feel about Darlene.

You're a Machiavellian reptile.

That's beautiful coming from an amoral, sadistic slimeball.

Are we saying, that, uh..

"The end doesn't always justify the means?"

I'm gonna leave the two of you

to work this out between yourselves.

I just wanna congratulate you on your personal triumphs today.

So?

So?

Okay, I guess, maybe I shouldn't've led you on.

Maybe I shouldn't have pretended it was working.

You know, it's kinda nice you and me

being friendlier for a change.

Yeah. It was nice.

The debate was great, wasn't it?

Yeah.

- You were ruthless. - You were vicious.

- You were acid. - You were ice.

I just love the way you made that guy from Midwood cry.

[laughing] Yeah.

Dinner tonight?

I'd love to.

[instrumental music]

[Dennis crying]

Dennis, are you alright?

(Dennis) I'm fine.

- Dennis, you're crying. - Will you just go away?

I don't want anybody to see my feminine side.

Oh, my God, I had no idea

that you could be this vulnerable.

[sobbing] No one does.

Everybody around here just thinks of me as a class clown.

Well, Dennis, is there anything that I could do to help you?

No.

I..

I was dating this girl..

...and she just dumped me.

Just, just out and out dumped me for no reason.

And I wouldn't even care for myself, it's just..

I got everybody countin' on me

for the academic meet next week..

...and I'm just afraid I'm gonna let everybody down.

If, if I could just feel...loved..

- Oh, Dennis.. - Huh?

No way!

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