Original subtitles

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I am simply pointing out that Anders Celsius

was the acknowledged father of measured temperature.

It was G.D. Fahrenheit, and you know it.

The guy died before Celsius ever hit puberty.

You know what puberty is, dontcha?

Yeah. Mine's just starting and yours is overdue.

- Morning, everyone. - Good morning.

Uh, did anybody read "The Times" this morning?

There's a great article.

How the Democrats might blow it

if they don't find a candidate.

Very insightful.

I have a solution for 'em, though.

Do what the Republicans did in California, 1946.

'You may not believe this, but it's true.'

They just ran a classified ad saying

"Wanted. Candidate. War Record preferred."

And you know who answered that one?

Richard Nixon. Heh.

Hello, anybody?

Is it my delivery, or what?

Sorry, Mr. Moore, we're just all getting ready

for our Parent's Day projects for tomorrow.

Uh-huh! It's a big day for us.

Tomorrow we show our parents what the IHP can really do.

That's right, for instance, in Biology, I'm working with Arvid

on a demonstration of genetic engineering.

Arvid is a demonstration of genetic engineering.

Mr. Moore, how come you haven't asked us

to do something special for tomorrow?

(all) Yeah.

Well, I don't want to do a dog and pony show.

I-I just want your parents to see

you and me in action together.

Mr. Moore, do you always have to be such a rebel?

Trust me, Alan, uh, the class will be interesting.

You know, we'll get a discussion started, it's gonna be

a very stimulating conversation, and that's what I want.

Not for my mother, you don't.

Well, I still look forward to meeting

your mother and your father.

Sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Moore

but if you wanna meet my father, you're gonna have to

send out a search party.

You, uh, really don't know where he is?

I do know one thing, wherever he is

he's not too far from a swizzle stick.

How long since you saw him?

Oh, a few days, a week, who knows?

Look, we have an understanding, I don't care about him

he doesn't care about me.

So, forget him. My mother will be here.

[school bell ringing]

(Charlie) 'Okay, I thought we'd use today'

to go over the last week's work.

Why don't we start with the Anaconda Mine Strike, 1960.

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And the low point came in 1932

when President Hoover called up armed soldiers

led by MacArthur, Eisenhower and Patton

to drive protesting and unemployed veterans

out of Washington DC..

Am I in the right room? I, uh..

Oh, hey, there you are. Hope I'm not late.

- Frank. Frank Mardian. - Charlie Moore.

Yeah. How do you like this, huh?

Parent's Day, I'm the only one who bothered to show up.

It's tomorrow.

- Did it again, huh? Yeah. - Yeah.

That's me, I'm always ahead of my time.

But you can't say I didn't show up, right?

Yeah. Yeah, you showed up. You made my day.

Unfortunately, the wrong day.

Uh, Mr. Mardian? Hi.

I don't know if you remember me, I'm Dennis Blunden.

You threw me out of your house once.

Yeah, yeah.

Uh, Frank, if-if it's all same to you

maybe you could come back tomorrow.

Oh, I can't, I'm headin' out. Uh, I took the day off.

You took the day off? Who's gonna feed the pigeons?

Well, I'm back at the garage.

I had to switch with a guy just to come down and see ya.

Yeah, well, don't do me any favors.

Yeah, well, you just remember this, when your mother claims

that I don't care when it comes right down

to where it counts, I'm here, she's not.

It's the wrong day.

(Charlie) 'Guys, guys.'

I-I'll tell you what, Frank, uh

since you can't come back tomorrow

why don't you stick around

and we'll give you a little preview?

- You'd do that for me? - Sure.

Uh...it's alright with you?

- Yeah! - Sure!

I could use the practice.

Okay, uh.. Yeah, thanks, thanks.

Hi.

So, I-I was gonna start off by talking about

the, uh, the 1950 senatorial primaries in Florida

in which a man named George Smathers

ran against Claude Pepper.

'Among other things, Mr. Smathers'

made the following accusations.

He said that, uh, Mr. Pepper was a known extrovert.

That his sister was a thespian.

His brother was a practicing homo sapien.

And worst of all, Mr. Pepper had committed celibacy

before marriage.

Sounds funny, but it cost Claude Pepper a good man

that primary election, because a lot of voters

didn't know what those words meant.

Th-that's very interesting. Uh, I'll give you another one.

Uh, Earl Long, Governor of Louisiana.

Uh, he won an election once, uh, by calling his opponent

an asthmatic.

[all chuckle]

He means Huey Long.

No, I don't, smartass.

I mean, Earl. His little brother, Earl.

Yeah, well, Huey was the governor of Louisiana

in the 1930's and Earl in the 1950's.

And, uh, Earl was quite a character.

At one point, his political enemies kidnapped him

and they locked him up in an asylum.

So he called his state troopers to spring him!

[Frank Laughs]

Lenny Bruce had a great bit on him.

- That's right, he did. - Yeah, Len-Lenny Bruce..

Lenny Bruce, uh.. "So I saw this cat on television.

Dig his political platform. I'm not a nut."

What is that, right? Uh...no honesty.

No better homes. "I'm not a nut." That's it.

"I don't wet the bed, elect me!"

Mr. Moore, what are you babblin' about?

I mean, does this have anything to do with American History?

Yeah, it does. Uh, you can write this down.

Lenny Bruce, 1926-1966.

An outstanding American social commentator and humorist

with a flair for courtroom drama.

[chuckles]

We're gonna study him.

[school bell ringing]

But not today. I'll see you all tomorrow.

- Nice meeting you. - Bye.

- Nice meeting you. - Bye.

Hey-hey, Eric.

I got no time, Frank.

Eric!

Since it looks like your dad's only shot at Parent's Day

why don't we have a little parent-teacher conference?

'What do you say?'

Give me a break.

Well, Frank, um, you have any questions? Any problems?

Uh, no, no. I, uh..

I think you run a pretty good class here.

And I think you're a, a very stimulating teacher.

[chuckles]

So, so, uh, how-how's he doin'? He's behaving himself?

What is this?

Even when he's not behaving himself he's interesting.

[both chuckle]

He's, uh, bright.

- Eric is very inquisitive-- - He does his homework, right?

Oh, yeah, and he's always doing extra reading.

Oh, hey, he-he gets that from me. Yeah.

Yeah, I read anything I can get my hands on.

I read him "Treasure Island" when he was four.

He read it back to me when he was five.

Hey, look, I'm gonna be late for chemistry.

Yeah, yeah. Um, anyway, look, uh..

You have any trouble with Eric, you know, uh, discipline.

Ah. No problems, no trouble.

I'd...like to be involved.

[scoffs] Tell me about it.

Nice to meet you.

Same here.

I'll see you, kid.

[door opens]

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

What can I tell you? The guy is a complete bozo.

Well, I don't know whether he is or not, Eric

but, uh, you certainly did your best to make him look like one.

What was I supposed to do? Hug him?

Tell him how happy I was to see him?

Who needs him?

Okay, um, you don't like your father.

'He embarrasses you.'

And you...go out of your way

to make sure that everybody knows it.

You don't understand.

No, I.. I guess I don't.

Look, I'm gonna be late for chemistry.

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Where's your mother, Maria?

She's late, which is good, because when she gets here

I am going to die.

I'm sorry my father's going to miss this.

Don't worry, it'll all be on the "Darlene Merriman Show."

[laughing]

You know, uh, Mr. Moore, ever since you started teaching here

well, we've noticed a big change in our Arvid.

For the better, I hope.

Oh, oh, yes. Oh, he's more mature.

He's gained more confidence.

Broadened his interests.

Girls.

- Hah. - Hah.

- Mr. Moore? - Yes. Excuse me.

- 'Yeah.' - 'Yeah.'

I'd like you to meet my mom.

- Charlie Moore. - Pleasure.

You must be a wonderful teacher, Mr. Moore.

We were very surprised at the way you dealt with Darlene.

Not like us at all.

- How do you deal with her? - Oh, we spoil her.

We worship the ground she walks on.

You know, usual.

[chuckles]

Mr. Moore, this is my father.

- Hi. - 'Hi.'

Mr. Moore, may I present my parents

Maureen and Robert Foster.

Hi. Welcome.

Your daughter is a, a wonderful student.

She's, uh.. She's really blossoming.

[all chuckle]

She's really breaking out of her shell.

Oh, uh, Mr. Moore? Excuse me, the Blunden's are here.

We'll talk more later.

Mr. Moore, I would like to introduce you

to my parental units.

Mr. Moore, I'm an upfront guy, so I gotta speak the truth.

I apologize for my son, I mean, who can explain it.

I also, I apologize.

Yeah, and Mr. Moore, if you don't mind

I'd like to apologize for my parents.

Hey, you keep this up and we are taking that refrigerator

out of your bedroom.

- Should I tell him now? - What?

- I'm gonna tell him now. - Oh, no, honey, don't.

- You were adopted. - Oh..

- Yeah. - Mom!

Oh, you were not adopted. Will you stop it!

- Hey! I can dream, can't I? - Oh!

I was not adopted.

[school bell ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, I guess, um, ladies and gentlemen

if you could all please take some seats

I'm sure that Mr. Moore would like to get started. Okay?

Sorry I'm late, I'm Francesca Borges.

- Maria's mother. - Hi. Charlie Moore.

- Call me Fran, okay, Charlie? - Okay.

[chuckles]

I've heard so much about you.

I just cannot wait to see you teach.

[chuckles]

Um, is there a place where I could sit?

- Yeah! - Yeah.

My! So many helpful, attractive men in this room!

[chuckles]

Uh...take my seat, please.

- I'm Alan. - Thank you, Alan.

[both chuckle]

Hi, baby!

Mr. Moore, Eric tells me you're a wonderful teacher.

Well, thank you.

Prove it.

Good idea. At last.

Welcome, all of you.

This is the IHP course in contemporary history

where today we're going to discuss how these words

'affected the outcome of American political history.'

Claude Pepper.

Smathers called him these things in a speech, right?

'Said he was a known extrovert'

and that his, uh, brother was a practicing homo sapien.

His sister a thespian

and he himself had committed celibacy.

Poor slob lost because

people were too dumb to realize, right?

Right. That's real good, Frank.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

[both chuckle]

Uh.. This was the preamble to our discussion

about the importance of education as a centerpiece

in any democratic society.

Way to go, Frank.

What are you doin' here anyway?

What, are the cocktail waitresses on strike?

Visiting my son.

Oh, really? What is it, leap year?

Surprised to see you here.

Thought you'd be out training Contras.

This is nothing. You guys oughta see 'em when they're mad.

It's okay, Eric, uh, listen, you two, I really think this is

neither the time nor the place for a private discussion.

You're right, Mr. Moore, I apologize.

Yeah, me too, Charlie. Very sorry. I..

What, are you taping or something?

Why, is it gonna be on the news or what?

Frank, why don't we see if we can get you a seat, okay?

- In the back? - Yeah. Yeah.

Didn't I tell you this class was fun?

So, we all agree..

...that there-there can be no true freedom

no real independent spirit without knowledge.

[school bell ringing]

It's been great meeting all of you.

I thank you for coming and feel free

to drop by anytime, visit the class.

- 'Thank you.' - 'Alright.'

[applauding]

If you're ready, parents, I'll lead the way to chemistry

and please try to stay together.

I have lost more parents than you can imagine.

- 'Thank you. Bye.' - Thanks, Mr. Moore.

Charlie, you look just like my third husband.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

How many times have you been married?

Twice.

You were flirting again.

- I was not flirting. - Yes, you were.

(Charlie) Mr. and Mrs. Foster.

My husband and I, we..

We just..

Um..

You see, Mr. Foster and I..

You-you both enjoyed yourselves?

[chuckles]

They really enjoyed meeting you

and they appreciate the care and sensitivity you've shown.

Simone, there's no need to make a scene.

[indistinct chatter]

[sighs]

Mr. Moore...you're okay.

Eric will tell ya, comin' from me, that's a compliment.

Thank you, Mrs. Mardian.

And, uh, I know that Eric wouldn't be in a class like this

if he didn't have someone like you behind him to..

- Kick butt. - Yeah, that sums it up.

Well, Eric's all I've got.

And he needs good people like you around him

so he doesn't turn out like..

So, anyway...thank you.

Eric.

I'll handle him.

He always does.

[chuckles]

Phew!

Nice, huh? Sleepin' bum.

[chuckles] Eric..

Mr. Moore, you don't know anything about this.

Just...go easy on him, okay?

Why should I?

No, please, tell me.

Okay, uh..

...because he's proud of you, and he knows

that you're not proud of him.

Because he's failed you, and he knows it.

I mean, because he..

...he came to school on Parent's Day.

I mean, he came here to see his son.

Eric, I, I think you have two choices here.

Uh, you can ask him why he came

or you can just

make him sorry that he did.

Hey. Frank, come on, wake up.

- Hm? - You're gonna miss happy hour.

How do you like that?

Never could stay awake in class.

[Charlie chuckles]

I'll tell ya, Frank, uh, classroom is free right now.

It's my free period.

I could go up to the, uh, teacher's lounge

get a couple of cups of coffee.

- Oh, thanks. Black. - Black.

What are you doin' here?

[door closes]

Thought I'd do the right thing, you know.

Show up on the right day.

I'm not talking about today or yesterday.

I mean, what are you doing here? Period. What do you want?

I wanna see how my son is doin'. Show him I cared.

Yeah, but first you had to stop off and have a few?

It was to get through the door.

You think it's easy walkin' in here? It's frightening.

Yeah, well, you didn't look frightened yesterday.

I knew your mother wasn't gonna be here.

Or the other parents.

- Wait a minute, you knew-- - Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Knew it was the wrong day.

Just thought a day earlier would be a little easier.

What are you so scared of?

What do you think I'm scared of?

Scared of nice kids, nice clothes, nice parents.

Love, success, money.

Respect.

Also, it's no picnic for me being here with your mother.

The lady of perpetual anger.

Well, I don't blame her for being mad at you.

(Frank) You know..

...every once in a while..

...your mother lets her guard down, very rare.

But she relaxes for a minute

and she says, "Frank, Eric is a good boy.

At least we got that between us, right?"

And as I'm agreein' with her, she gets all mad again.

She points a finger at me, and she says

"Well, I've no help from you, you no good son of.."

[scoffs]

I grab her hand..

I say, "Shh, Madeline, you're right, you're right.

"That's why I'm dependin' on you.

"Because no matter how much I love that kid..

"...I am...not what you would call

a totally reliable person."

[chuckles]

You're lucky, kid.

You have people like your mother.

This teacher.. Hey, he's okay.

"Okay?" He's great.

He's got time for me.

He understands me.

At least, he tries to.

And he's honest. We could talk.

Hey, that's what I was trying to get started here with us.

- So you came to school. - Yeah.

Which is good.

But you got loaded first..

...which is bad.

You gotta change that.

You gotta change that or nothing's gonna

change between us.

It's not that easy.

No. It isn't.

[knock on door]

Coffee?

[sniffles]

- Oh, uh, thanks, thanks. - Frank.

You know, I hear it's, uh, possible to acquire

a taste for this stuff.

[chuckles]

Anything's possible..

...if you want it bad enough.

Hey, look, um..

I got chemistry next period. Mrs. Myers. You wanna meet her?

You mean go to your next class? Oh, I don't think so.

Why not, Frank?

It's Parent's Day, you qualify.

Do I?

Just barely.

But yeah, you do.

Chemistry.

I used to be pretty good at that.

So, come on.

Take care of my son, okay?

It's a pleasure.

Chemistry.

Nice moves, Mr. Moore.

Very nice moves.

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