Original subtitles

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(Harold on PA) 'May I have your attention?'

'May I have your attention?'

'Will Mr. Moore please report'

'to the principal's office immediately?'

Huh!

Just the man I wanted to see.

I don't believe what they did to me.

- Hm. - But we can handle it.

Uh, who did what?

The Board of Education.

They sent me a woman.

Don't they usually give gold watches?

Each year they send a surprise, uh, observer

to evaluate the IHP.

This year it's a woman. Hm.

Guess I'm stuck with a pair of hockey tickets

and a bottle of Scotch.

[chuckles]

Look, I don't understand these things

but women find you attractive.

Use it.

She'll be monitoring your class tomorrow morning.

Oh, forget it.

I'm not asking you to marry her, just distract her.

No, just forget it.

[gasps]

- Charlie? - Suzanne.

- Huh! - Well, this is, uh..

- Surprising? - Surprising is good, yeah.

Confusing, uh, exciting.

Uh, feel free to jump in any time.

[chuckles] Oh, you still look good.

You always do.

So, how you've been?

Fine. Uh..

- You wanna sit down? - Oh, sure.

- Are you subbing here? - Uh, no.

I'm here as a permanent sub now. And you?

Oh, I moved over to the Board Of Ed

about five years ago, right after we..

Right, right.

You're here to observe the IHP?

You're the Mr. Moore the kids are talking about.

- Oh, Charlie, I'm impressed. - Wow!

[chuckling]

Well, it looks like I'm going to be evaluating you.

Once again.

[laughing]

Oh..

[bell ringing]

- I go.. I gotta go. - Hey, listen.

Uh, asking you this is probably a terrible mistake--

- I can't. - But.. Right.

Not tonight. How about tomorrow night?

Great. Uh, do you wanna have dinner?

Sure, I'll be coming from a meeting.

It'll be hard to pin down a time.

Uh, we could meet at my place and figure it out from there.

You still live above the flower market?

- Sometimes it's a bed of roses. - Hm.

It's a date.

[instrumental music]

And did you see in physics?

I just know that woman was writing something about me.

[scoffs] She's evaluating the entire program, Maria.

She couldn't care whether you lived or died.

You're just saying that to try and make me feel good.

I'm sorry..

- Good morning. - Wow!

- What happened to you? A-oo! - Whoo!

You look like you've been blessed by the fashion fairy.

I believe it was Beau Brummell who said

"A gentleman should dress to indicate

he is aware of the times in which he lives."

And the times are outrageously fashionable.

Thank you, Darlene.

Hey, if you're trying to impress that spy

from the Board Of Education, I don't think you're gonna do it

by wearing Ben Vereen's hand-me-downs.

I'm not trying to impress her.

If you're not, you're the only one who isn't.

Yes, she's got all our other teachers freaked out.

In biology, Mr. D'Amato

dissected his sandwich and ate his frog.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, I saw that sandwich. He made the right choice.

May I have your attention, everybody?

Alan.

Would you like a cushion?

[chuckles] No, thanks. I'll be fine.

Ms. McGee, Mr. Moore.

Well, I don't wanna waste, heh-heh

anymore precious moments of quality teaching

from this good-looking professional.

Not a second is wasted in this IHP program. Right, kids?

- Right. - Right.

Thank you, Dr. Samuels.

Well, I guess you've already met the students.

Yes, Charlie. Thank you.

"Charlie?"

Mr. Moore and I met five years ago.

(Charlie) 'Uh, Dennis, I believe you're first today.'

We've been working on individual projects.

Okay, confidentially, man to man.

- You and her? - None of your business.

- Alright. - Alright.

Uh, Dennis, you want to explain your project to Ms. McGee?

Sure.

Mr. Moore..

Charlie to you.

Dennis.

Mr. Moore has us analyzing small events in our lifetime

that we believe will have

major ramifications on the future of civilization.

Very impressive project.

Not as impressive as knowing this man in his prime.

Hey!

This is my prime, okay?

But I think we should continue.

Did you ever see him on stage?

- Darlene, what did I just say? - Oh, come on.

[indistinct chatter]

He was terrific.

Chekhov, Ibsen, Strindberg.

Very heavy stuff.

Hey, I did musicals, too.

Perhaps, we should move along.

Dennis.

The small but tremendously significant event

that I have chosen is the home-video revolution.

But, but that can wait.

How often do we have a visitor

from Charlie Moore, the early years?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

How did you meet? Personal columns?

Two lonely people in a singles' bar?

Janice, nobody's interested in this.

Actually, we met at "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas."

- Okay, I'm interested. - No.

- The play. The play, Alan. - Oh.

(Charlie) We were sitting next to each other. Okay?

Uh, Dennis, please continue.

The video revolution has taken communication

out of the hands of the elite

and put it into the hands of the common people.

That is, for those who can afford

the 1500 bucks for the system.

- Any questions so far? - Yeah.

What attracted you to each other?

(Jawaharlal) Uh, please tell us from the beginning.

[instrumental music]

(Suzanne) 'I've always loved this apartment.'

[Suzanne sighs]

- Still, into jazz, I see. - Madly.

[jazz music on stereo]

Oh, Charlie, you didn't.

I did.

- Thanks for remembering. - Oh.

[sighs] What about the wine?

It's breathing.

- That makes one of us. - Mm-hmm.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

We're gonna be riding in the same car.

[whistling]

It's nine o'clock. Where's Mr. Moore?

He is not here yet.

I can see that. Where is he?

If the inspector comes in, uh

tell her that, uh, Mr. Moore

uh, stepped out to pick up

some very important research materials.

Are you asking us to lie?

I'm asking you to fudge.

This is history, not ethics.

Never mind.

I'll stay here and teach you myself.

Oh, happy day.

What were we working on?

- Uh, individual projects. - Like what?

Like, how the invention of the microwave oven

has altered the shape of modern marriage.

Not to mention my cat.

- Ew! - Shut up.

And that man has a license to teach?

Alright, let me show you some real teaching.

Let's talk about..

...the development of the atomic bomb.

The Manhattan Project.

Actually, it was called the Manhattan District.

Right, and you have to talk about the Cavendish Lab

at Cambridge in the 1930s.

Earlier. You have to go back to Germany.

Shouldn't we be talking about the politics of the time?

I can circulate my term paper on Heisenberg

and the German effort.

Oh, that's a good one, right?

Okay, the Manhattan Project.

Morning, everybody. Sorry I'm late.

- Good morning, Mr. Moore. - 'Good morning.'

Over here, please.

Why weren't you here on time?

The inspector could have come by.

Oh, don't worry.

Well, I had to take over your class.

Why are you wearing sunglasses?

I didn't get much sleep.

Don't you know my whole program is under siege this week?

Is this how you take care of our interests?

You're a teacher.

You can't be running around all night.

Morning, everyo..

Morning, Ms. McGee.

Morning, Dr. Samuels.

Enjoy the hockey game.

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Dr. Samuels, those hockey tickets.

- I won't be needing 'em. - Mr. Moore..

I just wanna show my appreciation

for your handling you-know-who.

Yeah, but I think you've got the wrong idea.

- Here. Say no more. - No.

No, no. No. No.

- Okay, I'll keep them. - Mm-hmm.

The main thing is you neutralized the enemy.

Charlie, what does he mean? Neutralize who?

Oh, uh, the, uh, the lady from the Board of Ed.

But I didn't. Uh, we-we had dinner together.

- Wait, you what? You jaded her? - Well..

Trying to make life easier for you and Dr. Samuels?

No, Bernadette, we're old friends, see..

Sure, now.

Charlie, I think that's despicable.

Oh.

[instrumental music]

[jazz music on stereo]

More soup?

Mm.

Hey, you wanna try it before you add the salt?

Well, I-I don't have to, Charlie.

You never put enough salt in your soup.

I have changed.

I now add enough salt to my soup.

And anticipating what you'd say, I put in extra salt.

Mm. Delicious.

So, what do you think?

About what?

Come on, Suzanne. Me, my class.

[chuckles] Oh, not now, Charlie. I know you.

And what's that supposed to mean?

I know you, Charlie.

I have a few criticisms, but if we get into it now

you'll get defensive, we'll have an argument.

It'll ruin the whole meal.

I don't get defensive.

Uh, Charlie, I know how you operate.

Operate?

Just tell me your criticisms.

[clears throat] Okay.

First..

Uh, they're small.

[exhales sharply] But you don't put your aim on the board.

[laughing]

I don't put my aim on the board?

[chuckling] Suzanne, these kids are bright.

By the time I put my aim on the board

they're halfway through Harvard.

See? See, you're getting defensive.

What else?

- It's your lesson plans. - I don't do lesson plans.

Exactly.

Lesson plans, eh? Aim.

You know, it's all coming back to me now.

The basis of our relationship is

is that you are always right, I'm always wrong.

No, Charlie. You just can't take criticism, that's all.

You couldn't take it as an actor.

You can't take it as a teacher

and you can't take it as a cook.

Now wait.

Come on, what are we doing here?

We're just repeating the same arguments

we had five years ago. Huh?

I thought we'd grown a little.

I thought we were very mature last night.

[chuckles]

- Extremely. - Hm.

And I was getting defensive about, uh..

...silly little criticism that had

very little to do with me as a teacher.

Just bureaucratic gibberish.

Are you calling me a bureaucrat?

[chuckles] You are the one

with the briefcase and the sensible shoes.

[scoffs] Sensible? They happen to be Italian.

Do you know how much these cost me, do you have any--

Now, now who is getting defensive, hm?

Charlie, I offer you a few bits

of constructive criticism about your teaching

and you respond by attacking my persona.

It was.. Why-why do you always go for words like "Attacking?"

Why do you always use words like "Always?"

No, and "Persona?" What the hell does that mean?

Oh, you want something more simple?

How about "Coat?"

"Door."

- How about "Allow me?" - How about "Taxi?"

How about "Good luck?"

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I guess the problem is I always pictured Mr. Moore

with actresses, you know, the flashy

beautiful, theatrical type.

Type that make me sick.

I always picture Kathleen Turner.

With Mr. Moore?

No, with me.

Let him have his own dreams.

The fact that Mr. Moore can find someone at his age

has to be reassuring.

Oh, I'm sure he'd love to hear that.

[bell ringing]

- Morning. - Good morning.

Forget the morning. How was the night?

Fine.

Mr. Moore, you-you're not wearing your shades today.

- I'm worried. - I believe this is a classroom.

Could we do some class work?

Is something wrong, Mr. Moore?

No, nothing's wrong.

- Morning, everyone. - Good morning.

Today we'll begin by discussing the American Indian Movement.

What do we know?

'Simone.'

Well, AIM is a militant movement

organized in 1968

to promote civil rights for Native Americans.

Their objectives are reform and pass treaties

um, the observance--

Excuse me.

Mr. Moore, is it a coincidence that the acronym AIM

is displayed so prominently on the board?

Oh, not at all, Ms. McGee.

It does fit in the category

of '60s activist movements.

Certainly not more significantly

than SNCC, SCLC.

- Or FTA. - But I am not teaching the-

You deliberately put that up on the board--

Ms. McGee, could we step outside for a moment?

- Ooh. - Ooh.

[indistinct chatter]

Now, look...we are still arguing about last night.

Which is okay, but not in front of my class.

Alright.

I'm sorry about last night.

I had to leave. It was an old argument.

It was a new argument, it was an old solution.

I mean, we fight, you leave. Just like five years ago.

- You didn't stop me. - Well..

As I recall, I was nursing a nose bleed at the time.

Hm.

So what do we do?

Well, the next time we argue, even if I start it

you don't take the easy way out and run away.

- It's not my style, Charlie. - But, Suzanne--

Mr. Moore, I believe you have a class waiting.

Well, that sounds like running away.

I guess that's what I do.

Well, at least I'm not bleeding.

Okay. Where were we?

Uh, Simone.

Are you okay, Mr. Moore?

- Yeah, I'm okay. - You don't look okay.

I'm a little uncomfortable

having my class involved in my love life.

Whoop! The old double standard.

- Uh-huh. - Yup.

I don't follow.

You get involved in our personal lives

but when it comes to your life, you don't wanna know us.

Yeah, they're right. Definite double standard.

But I'm not one of you. I'm your teacher.

So?

So this was a, a private situation

between adults.

- So? - So..

It's something that happened, and it's over.

She dumped you, right?

- He dump her. - Now, wait a minute.

Look at him, that is a dumped man.

No way.

Nobody got dumped. Okay?

Okay. No double standard.

Uh, very briefly

Ms. McGee..

Suzanne and I were once very close

and it looked like we might be again.

And it didn't work out.

- And that's it. - Why not?

[sighs] Well, i-it's not important why. Okay?

I bet you'll miss her.

Well, of course, I'll miss her.

I mean, Suzanne is a-a wonderful woman.

She's, she's beautiful, she's bright, she's funny.

- She's back. - She's back..

You never told me I was funny.

You would have told me I was wrong.

Probably.

I just came back to tell you that..

...I think you're all very fortunate

to have Charlie as a teacher.

Now, however our personal life may appear

my report will indicate that his work is creative

challenging and innovative.

- Suzanne-- - And, Charlie..

I just wanted to say a, a nicer goodbye.

- Uh, will you excuse me? - Go!

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Look.

Charlie, we're both adults.

I think we know reality when we see it.

You and I are totally incompatible.

Uncontrollably.

So then I guess we shouldn't see each other anymore.

Absolutely not.

- How about tomorrow? - I was thinking tonight.

Tonight? No argument from me, no.

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