Original subtitles

[theme music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

[wolf-whistling]

That's it. I can't take it anymore.

Girls..

Can't I walk into my own school..

...without this kind of sexual harassment?

I mean, please, restrain yourselves.

Find a way to control your hormones.

Can you believe this?

Hey, you and Tom Cruise, it must be rough.

Ah, you learn to live with it.

Learn to live with what?

Oh, the whistles, the catcalls

the undressing me with their eyes.

Must be rough.

Undressing him?

It's not only rough, it's an all-day job.

Okay, uh, yesterday

we were talking about Gandhi and Thatcher

so I'd like a short essay

on women in America who have exercised power.

This will be fun.

We haven't done the "Woman in power" essay

in over a year.

Well, then I'm sure that one of you

will write about the woman

who for a year and a half actually functioned

as President of the United States.

[scoffs] It's not possible.

Excuse me?

[scoffs] I mean, it's possible, but I doubt it'll ever happen.

- What? - Whine.

I mean, maybe in the foreseeable future.

[indistinct chatter]

Okay! Okay! Maybe Phyllis Schlafly.

Excuse me. I have an announcement.

There are times such as this when the sacrifice

'the hard work and the struggle become worth it.'

Today, at 8:42 a.m.

I received a call from Washington D.C..

...our nation's capital.

Arvid, Sarah, pack your bags

on a hearty bon voyage.

- We did it! - Alright!

What's the occasion?

Their project has been accepted

by the National Science Foundation.

And they get to go to Washington to present it.

Congratulations to both of you.

- Alright. - Alright.

[applauding]

I can't believe it, what a team!

Uh, excuse me.

Arvid, come in.

- Aren't you eating lunch? - No.

Well, if you want half of a..

...chicken-like substance sandwich..

No, no, thanks, I'm too..

Don't you eat in the teacher's lounge?

Oh, no, I can't go in there. Uh..

Mr. Kerchman, the shop teacher

has decided to augment his income

by selling life insurance.

[chuckles]

That's what..

Actually, Mr. Moore, I..

Well, I wanna ask you something that pertains

to my, my love life.

Your love life?

Well, y-you were there, you saw the-the hug.

You and Sarah?

Well...see, when, wh-when we hugged each other

I-I-I felt something.

And I'm not talking about the kind of feeling

you get when you win a-a National Science prize.

What did it feel like?

Two National Science prizes.

Well, I-I-I guess what I'm asking is..

...well, w-w-when she held me like that

was she hugging the man or the brain?

It's so hard to say, Arvid, uh..

I've had hugs that led nowhere

and I've had hugs that led to Bermuda for two weeks.

Well, h-h-how do I know if mine

was of the-the tropical variety?

It's hard to tell from the first one, uh..

You might want a second opinion.

[instrumental music]

It's wrong, it doesn't work.

And our whole hypothesis falls apart

when we include the Boston data.

We've run it through five times!

I got an idea. Access the bibliography.

[keys clacking]

Now, keep going. Keep going.

Stop! Look.

Oh, my God!

It was published in 1947.

That's why the Boston figures didn't correspond.

- We were right! - We did it!

[chuckling]

Yeah, it definitely works, uh..

You and me working together..

- We make a good team. - Yeah, we do.

Well, let's get back to work.

[keys clicking]

[bell rings]

That's all for today.

Oh, by the way, I, uh, glanced at your essays

and you all chose some interesting women.

Uh, it's fascinating that none of you

chose Edith Wilson.

The wife of Woodrow Wilson?

Our 28th President

"Fourteen Points," the League of Nations.

And he had a stroke, after World War I.

[gasps] Was that..

[indistinct chatter]

We'll-we'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?

Sarah..

I don't know, there's something about him.

Well, he's kinda cute.

Are you talking about Arvid?

I know, it's strange

but I'm starting to feel attracted to him.

Are we talking about Arvid?

The way he squints and pushes

his glasses up with his finger?

You know how drippy that is?

'Now, it's a turn on.'

The clothes, the pocket protector.

I'm getting into it.

Are they talking about Arvid?

[knock on door]

[gasps] Oh, it's okay, Mr. Moore. It's for her.

[bell rings]

It's time.

Uh, sorry, Mr. Moore, we, we were just

working out details for Saturday night.

- Our first official date. - Ooh!

Now, I can't believe you all have to go to the bathroom.

Edith Wilson. We all did research.

She was an incredible woman. She even--

That's not fair.

He didn't call on you yet.

Okay, uh, Simone?

Oh...Um.

It was amazing.

After President Wilson had a stroke

and was completely incapacitated

well, they managed to keep the whole thing a secret.

She wrote letters to cabinet ministers hired and fired them.

She even forged her husband's signature. Shocking.

Of course, what do you expect from Democrats?

Still, it's an interesting historical tidbit, huh?

I mean, how do you think they kept

the whole country in the dark for so long? Arvid?

Um, actually I think Sarah had her hand up before me.

You go ahead, Arv.

God! If anybody here has diabetes don't watch this.

[instrumental music]

Stop it.

- Stop what? - Just stop it.

Put an end to it, break it up.

Wanna give me a hint?

I'm talking about Fillmore's

finest who will present a project

to the National Science Foundation

with the Secretary of Education in attendance.

And they will be talking gibberish to each other.

Well, it's Washington. Gibberish is the native tongue.

Dr. Samuels, I mean, trying to break up

a teenage romance is like

trying to take the lid off a jar

by turning it the wrong way.

You know? The more you twist, the tighter it gets.

Excuse me, Mr. Moore.

Oh, how'd the date go?

Let's put it this way.

Do you mind if I don't sit in my regular seat today?

Trouble in paradise?

[sighs] I don't want to be near her

but I have no choice.

And as far as our project goes

she can go to Washington herself.

Because if I ever talk to her again

it'll only be under the threat

of extreme physical violence.

Mr. Moore?

Is he in there?

Mr. Wonderful?

You got that wrong.

I knew it wouldn't last.

Mr. Moore, can I change my seat?

A-a-as long as you're changing things

try changing her personality.

Arvid, please.

No moving, okay?

Now, are we ready to start class?

Sure, the quicker you start

the quicker it'll be over.

Uh, please tell her she's wrong.

Whether or not we start has no bearing--

Please tell him to mind his own business.

Stop.

Now, Sarah and Arvid, I wanna see you

after school today, here.

I don't have anything to say.

Neither do I.

But I do.

[instrumental music]

Okay, I'll-I'll get right to the point.

There seems to be a little tension between you two

and it's interfering with class work.

I think we should talk about it.

Mr. Moore, I apologize for disrupting the class.

I made a mistake.

And now, if you'll excuse me..

...I'd like to leave my mistakes behind me.

First she steals my heart, then she steals my speech.

Well, what happened, uh, Saturday?

Well, remember Sarah, my good friend?

Sane, generous, sweet, uncomplaining?

- Yes. - It's all a lie.

Mr. Moore.

In the name of historical accuracy

I decided to come back

and counter his opinions

with my facts.

[scoffs] Well, your so-called facts

will turn out to be as-as worthless as Foster's commentary

on the Heisenberg principle.

How dare you?

Just calm down, okay?

Let's see if we can straighten this out.

Uh...tell me about the date.

Well, we started out going to a movie.

It-it turned out to be this-this four-hour epic about

this tenth-century Chinese family

that goes through some kind of time warp

and-and ends up in the advertising business

in Manhattan.

It was a double feature, Arvid.

Two movies. You fell asleep.

Oh.

So, you didn't like the movie.

I mean, that happens all the time.

Well, then we went to the planetarium.

Uh, don't tell me you didn't like the Autumn Spectacular.

No, I liked it, and I told you so.

It was what happened afterwards.

We went straight to dinner, a-a great place.

The Constellation Room.

Is that near the planetarium?

In the planetarium.

It was the cafeteria.

They know me.

(Sarah) I suffered through the star show

and then we hit the cafeteria

where he almost dumped my tray into my lap.

But I smiled through it.

And then, all of a sudden

he started getting very possessive.

[laughing]

Tomorrow, we'll go to the Museum of Natural History

and then afterwards, we'll check out a couple

sci-fi book stores

and-and then on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday

we-we-we shouldn't go out.

- I agree. - We'll just study together.

And on Thursday..

Thursday, I have my painting class.

No problem, I'll come along and watch.

No, Arvid, I usually go out

with my friends from the class afterwards.

What? You don't want me to go, right?

Do we have to spend every minute together?

Yes. Well, don't you want to?

No, I think we should spend some time apart.

Are you telling me it's over?

(Sarah) After that, he got real obnoxious.

Oh, I-I knew it.

It would've been cheaper for me if you ordered the special.

I'll pay you back.

Oh, no, it's okay, just-just make sure

you eat all of it.

(Arvid) That's not the way it happened at all.

We were having a lovely meal, and she started

picking me apart.

Did you have to wear a pocket protector tonight?

It's-it's my good one.

It's just that I try to look nice for you.

I think you could try to look nice for me.

Are you saying I don't look nice?

I'm just saying you didn't have to wear

a pocket protector, that's all.

Especially with that shirt.

Well, what's wrong with this shirt?

It doesn't go with your pants.

Or anything else..

...in the world.

(Sarah) Not true.

We were talking about clothes

and then he turned on me.

Well, let me tell you some of the things

that-that you should change.

Like what?

Y-y-your attitude.

Your hair.

Your..

...behavior in a restaurant.

For the last time

this is not a restaurant.

Well, whatever it is.

I don't know what I'm doing here with you.

Well, there's a way to take care of that.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah?

Hey.

Well, it doesn't sound like the perfect evening.

It was horrible.

It was her fault.

It was his fault.

Why don't you stop worrying about

whose fault it was and just forget it?

No way.

Behind those thick glasses

is a petulant, infantile child

not even crying to get out.

Oh, yeah?

[instrumental music]

You know, I keep forgetting they're just kids.

I mean, they're so smart.

Emotionally, they're just kids.

What are you talkin' about, Charlie?

- Oh, Sarah and Arvid. - Oh.

If it were you and me, uh..

I mean, say the school inoculation records

got all mixed-up and so, it was our job to straighten them out.

Probably, we'd spend

a huge amount of time together, you know?

Take our meals together, work late at nights.

- Yeah. - And then, well..

Then, so, say, a relationship developed.

I could see that happening.

Yeah, because we spend a lot of time together.

And we just sort of fell into each other's arms, and..

But then, it ends.

I mean, it is over.

So, we go back

to our normal school life.

I mean, you wouldn't stop saying hello to me

when I pass through the office.

Yes, I would.

Why?

Well, you had no right to turn

a working relationship into a sordid affair.

You knew that I was vulnerable

and you took advantage.

And now that it's over

you expect me to pretend that nothing happened?

No. I say, no, Mr. Charles Moore.

- No, this is a hypothe-- - No.

I don't wish to discuss it any further.

Overworked.

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter]

Good morning, Sarah.

For some people, maybe.

Janice, would you tell Arvid

his things are on my half?

- Arvid-- - Janice.

Would you tell Sarah it's an optical illusion?

- Sarah-- - Well.

Why don't we just make it official?

That's it.

We have had just about enough of you two.

You're boring.

I mean, if you can't get along with each other

at least give us some laughs,

like on "Divorce Court."

Go ahead, Sarah.

Deck him, smack him, something.

You know, you two are blowing this for everybody.

That's right, you know, you're gonna go to Washington

you're not gonna be prepared, and it's gonna reflect

on this whole class, which includes me.

I cannot handle failure.

I think if you two are not going to talk to each other

it's only right that you withdraw from the whole thing.

You can only hurt the honor and reputation of the IHP.

Good idea, I quit.

You don't quit on me, I quit first.

I said it first.

I was thinking about it yesterday.

Good morning.

[bell rings]

Before we begin, uh, there is one little thing

I forgot to tell you about Woodrow Wilson--

Mr. Moore, there is nothing

you haven't told us about Woodrow Wilson.

Except this one little thing.

Now, Woodrow and his wife, Edith

pulled off an amazing deception

but the interesting thing is

they were not the only President and First Lady

to con the entire country.

[scoffs] You know, you go too far, Mr. Moore.

I mean, so, he's a little deaf

and maybe he shouldn't have divorced Jane Wyman.

But he's still a good guy

and he's completely in-charge.

I was talking about Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt.

Oh...oh, sorry.

Now, they accomplished perhaps more

than any other couple in the White House.

And they had the entire country

thinking they were happily married.

- They weren't? - No.

The passion was gone.

But the-the friendship and the respect lingered.

See, what-what brought them together in the first place

lasted for the rest of their lives.

And instead of becoming bitter and angry

they found a way to hold on to that

and make it work for them.

Would you two make up, so we can finish the year?

Okay, f-f-for the sake of the project, I apologize.

Okay, me too, for the sake of the project.

Okay. So, where were we?

They didn't mean it.

No, but they will.

- W-wait, can you explain that? - Explain that.

Uh, in front of everyone?

We have no secrets.

Let me tell you a story.

This couple goes to Las Vegas

they've only got ten dollars between 'em.

The husband says

"Give me the ten, honey.

I'm going down to the casino, trust me."

'So, she gives him the ten dollars.'

He goes down to the casino

goes to the Blackjack table.

Right away, he's up. He's got a hundred bucks.

'Feels pretty good.'

Goes over to the Craps table.

He's on a roll.

Ten thousand dollars in his hands.

Feels really good.

Decides to play some Baccarat.

Insanity!

A hundred thousand in his hands.

So, he takes ten dollars out

puts it in his pocket

goes over to the Roulette wheel

puts it all down.

Whole thing. Says, "Give me black 14."

Bingo!

Red eight.

Nothing.

Goes home, walks in.

Wife says, "Well, how did we do?"

He says, "Well, broke even."

Now, maybe that's what happened to you two.

You broke even.

Well, yeah, ma-maybe..

...we even came out ahead.

Yeah.

Friends?

Friends.

[Arvid exhales deeply]

They mean it.

Although, I must admit, it happened faster

than I thought it would.

We're very bright, Mr. Moore.

We get stuff right away.

[instrumental music]

[bell rings]

See you tomorrow.

- Bye, Mr. Moore. - Bye.

- See you. - Okay.

- Keep up the tidbits. - Uh, okay.

(Sarah) Bye, Mr. Moore.

Arvid, I'm really happy that you and Sarah are friends again.

[chuckling]

Uh, Ma-Maria, did you f-feel anything just now?

Yeah. Two ballpoint pens and a calculator.

[instrumental music

[theme music]

[music continues]