Original subtitles

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(Arvid) 'Knight to king five.'

(Janice) 'Knight takes knight.'

Bishop to knight four.

(Janice) 'Rook takes bishop.'

Oh, I didn't see that!

Rook to queen seven.

Pawn takes queen.

Checkmate.

Is this what we do when there's no teacher here?

We play chess?

Where's the board? Where are the pieces?

In our heads.

You are spooky. You know that?

Well, this is easy. They're playing Monopoly.

You're all spooky.

If Mr. Moore ever gets here

would you tell him I wanna see him?

The atomic weight of Beryllium?

- 'Darlene?' - 9.0122.

Academic assassins!

I love it.

- Morning. - Good morning, Mr. Moore.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I, uh, had to make a quick stop

downtown at Skulls Are Us.

It's a prop for a play at my theatre.

I am finally, finally directing my life's dream.

The greatest play ever written.

The Rocky Horror Show.

Okay, the second greatest. Hamlet.

I assume we're all familiar with the story?

Well, there's this teenage couple

whose car breaks down

and this guy in a garter belt

and fishnet stockings is at the door.

Yeah, not The Rocky Horror Show, Janice.

Oh, Hamlet.

Hamlet is summoned home

to the Danish court at Elsinore

by news of his father's death.

We know the story, Janice.

Now-now, wait a second.

You know, nobody ever lets

poor little Janice here finish a sentence.

You know what I think?

I think one sentence on any subject is all she knows.

So what do you say we let her continue this time?

Come on, Hamlet summoned after his father's death.

Then what happened, little Miss IQ Queen?

Hamlet is confronted with the fact

that his mother, the queen has married his uncle

whom he suspects of having murdered his father.

Okay. Guess the kid got lucky.

Very good, Janice. Anybody else?

We took a seminar on Hamlet last year at NYU.

I analyzed the post-Freudian aspect

of the Gertrude-Claudius relationship.

I compiled a study of the botanical references.

Maria and I ran a computerized word frequency analysis.

I guess I don't have to rent the movie for you.

This is great.

Because I'm-I'm very excited

about this production that I'm doing.

It's taken me years to gear up to do it.

And I think that it breaks the barriers

between Shakespeare and a contemporary audience.

And who's more contemporary than you?

That's why I'd like you to come see it

and tell me how you feel about it.

- 'I'd love to.' - 'Great.'

We'll get to see your theatre?

Uh, let me warn you.

It's a somewhat experimental production.

Don't you think it's a little risky to mess with Shakespeare?

Why not? The guy's not sacred.

I mean, I've even messed with the idea

that the guy everybody thought was Shakespeare

didn't actually write the plays.

- Oh, come on.. - No way!

Mr. Moore, why do you always do this?

- Do what? - Make us nervous.

Keep an open mind, okay?

For example, there are a lot of very smart people

yours truly included, who think that the Earl Of Oxford

was the only writer of the Elizabethan era

who had all the necessary qualifications.

Mr. Moore, you're causing anxiety, okay?

It's just an idea. It's nothing to be afraid of.

I mean, especially now, that so many scholars believe

that Shakespeare's plays were written by the old Earl.

Wow, you're right.

[stuttering] Expect for one slight problem.

That would mean that-that the Earl wrote Macbeth

two years after he died.

Nobody's that talented.

You've got him.

Only if you accept the conventional dating

of Shakespeare's plays.

I'm afraid he has put you away, Arvid.

There he goes again. The guy's Mr. Flip-flop.

Is there anyone else you'd like to agree with?

I'm sorry. Uh, you're right.

Stop it!

Okay.

Uh, so where were we?

We were waiting for you to start class.

Class! I knew there was a reason we came in today.

[instrumental music]

Can you believe this place?

Darlene, this isn't Cats. This is minimalist theatre.

They dispense with all the trappings of commercial theatre.

Yeah, like seats.

It's different. I like it.

[scoffs] No shock there.

I hope this isn't one of those plays

where the actors come into the audience.

Yeah, don't worry, there's no room.

You got any Raisinets?

Is that all you can think about? Food?

No, I'd also like a beverage.

Welcome, everybody.

Dennis, get off the stage.

'We're all set, so, uh..'

Thank you for blinding me, Janice.

Uh, I feel like I'm doing Oedipus Rex.

And to be very honest with you here, I, uh..

It's a strange feeling. I'm kind of uncomfortable.

[chuckles] You should try these benches.

I-I-I guess it's because you're my class

and because you're our first audience.

And I'm very eager to hear what you think.

Let me save you some time, Mr. Moore.

Jawaharlal here loves it.

Fine, I hope he does. I just want him to see it first.

Uh, and incidentally, let's just dispense with

the, uh, polite after theatre chit-chat.

You know, Nice, Interesting, uh, Hey, what can I say?

Because I want good, honest, constructive criticism.

And I would like you to write it down.

'You don't have to sign your name.'

Just leave your comments in my mailbox at school.

- Okay? - Do we get extra credit?

Only in life, Maria.

What good is that gonna do me?

Uh, and please..

[camera whirring]

No photos during the performance, okay?

[rumbling]

My father's spirit in arms.

All is not well.

(male #1) 'I am thy father's spirit.'

- 'Mark me.' - I will.

[instrumental music]

That is the question.

That is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

(male #2) 'Or to take arms against a sea of trouble'

'and by opposing, end them?'

(man on screen) 'To die, to sleep.'

'Whether 'tis nobler in the mind'

'to suffer the slings and arrows..'

(male #2) 'To die'

'to sleep.'

To die and to sleep.

No more.

[instrumental music]

Get thee to a nunnery, go.

O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown.

[instrumental music]

Alas, poor Yorick.

I knew him, Horatio.

[instrumental music]

[upbeat music]

- Morning. - 'Charlie!'

You're the big winner this morning.

From my kids in the honors class.

What's the matter? You no longer speaking?

No, they came to see a rehearsal on my Hamlet.

I feel like I'm being graded by my own students.

- Are you happy with it? - I am thrilled.

I really went on a limb with this one.

It's not the Hamlet that people expect to see.

Hamlet? Oh, the sweet prince.

The melancholy Dane.

You know the play, I take it.

In my youth, my name was quite familiar

in many a dinner theatre.

You never told me you were a waiter.

An actor, Mr. Moore. An actor.

It was just a hobby, of course.

Somewhat like your teaching career.

Charlie's directing Hamlet right now.

Maybe you'd like to go see it.

Hamlet needs the mind of a craftsman

and the eye of a poet.

Pity just anyone can get their hands on it.

So, how many tickets should I put you down for?

[bell rings]

Saved by the bell.

- Morning. - 'Good morning.'

I got your comments. I haven't had a chance to read 'em yet

but, uh, I'll go through them during lunch hour, okay?

I hope the trip was worth it on Saturday.

Yes, thank you. I had a good time, really.

Yes, it was nice.

It was interesting.

Hey, what can I say?

Fine. Well, back to the real world.

Uh, we were talking about

Roosevelt and, uh, the Great Depression

and the new deal.

So, today, we're gonna be talking about

the WPA and the TVA.

The W, uh, PA..

Why don't we just take a couple of minutes out of class

and I'll read through 'em?

You're not gonna read them out loud.

Why not?

Well, that means other people can hear them.

That's what out loud means.

Look, if some of 'em are a little critical, it's alright.

I asked for honesty, and besides, remember

these notes are anonymous.

So, why don't I just start with the first one?

A pure, unadulterated.. I can't read the next word.

Treasure.

Well, so much for anonymity, huh?

Thank you, Jawaharlal.

No, thank you. You should be very proud.

- Oh, I am. - Very proud.

Okay now, let's try to keep 'em anonymous. Okay, gang?

Very proud.

If it's not broken, don't fix it.

You're headed for certain failure

by-by smothering it under a lagniappe

of subcultured kitsch and B-movie claptrap.

- Lagniappe. - It's something gratuitous.

It's an interesting comment.

Of course, one person's B-movie claptrap

might be another's contemporary symbolism.

But try not to let me know who wrote what, okay?

The problem with experiments is that

they often blow up in your face.

In the play, Polonius says

'Neither a borrower nor a lender be' and he was right.

To lend your ideas to a classic play such as 'Hamlet'

or even worse, to borrow ideas from Sylvester Stallone..

Very interesting, thank you.

You're welcome.

Of course, I-I don't know what you mean.

I-I-I didn't see any boxing rings

and Hamlet's not walking around saying

Yo, Adrian, absolutely. Fine.

Uh, I-I don't understand this. It was fabulous.

Jawaharlal, maybe you better just keep out of this, okay?

All things considered, I'd give it a nine.

Not bad.

Keep reading.

I give it a nine on a scale of one to a hundred.

[instrumental music]

Okay. I'll, uh, read one more.

(all) No.

And then we'll go on to a happier subject.

The Depression.

Why don't we just go on to The Depression?

Uh, March 13th, 1933.

Uh, Roosevelt decided to re-open the banks..

And tell me this, Dennis

where in this society is a better place

for Hamlet to have the debate

between intellect and emotion than on video?

You do not put video on stage.

You put live actors on stage.

Video belongs in the den.

Thank you, I'll make a note of that.

Uh, 1933.

FDR decides to re-open the banks.

Maria, I-I wanted Hamlet's mother

to die from food poisoning

rather than go for the cliche of the poisoned wine.

And I thought it was a good use of the motel coffee shop.

- Can I be honest? - Why stop at honest?

Why not go straight to brutal, like everyone else?

I don't know, call me a romantic but I just think that something

is lost when you replace the poisoned goblet

with tainted Shrimp Louie.

Anybody else agree with Maria?

I'll make a list of these things.

Um, okay. Video.

- 'Yeah.' - Yeah.

- And Shrimp Louie. - Yes.

(Charlie) 'Uh-huh.'

And I guess you all hated

the concept of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

being portrayed as the two bickering movie critics

Siskel and Ebert.

What was the point?

I couldn't even tell who was who.

Well, that was easy.

I mean, Siskel was Guildenstern

and Ebert was Rosen..

...velt in, uh, 1933

chose to open those banks.

Excuse me, Mr. Moore.

Video? Shrimp Louie?

What does that have to do with the Roosevelt era?

Two things you couldn't get during The Depression.

What about jobs?

Good. Uh, jobs.

Okay? Look, everyone.

[indistinct chatter]

Mr. Moore, you know, you frighten me.

Listen up, people.

There's been a change in schedule.

We will be facing Buchanan

Stuyvesant and then, Brooklyn Tech.

- 'Ah.' - 'Wonderful.'

Hey, I wish I was going with you guys.

Don't even think about it.

Go, team!

Mr. Moore, we're doing this because we like you.

Let's face it, Mr. Moore, the whole concept is a bust.

You don't tamper with tradition.

That's a good thought, but I was merely trying to contemporize--

But it doesn't need to be contemporized.

I mean, it's so right when it's done right.

M-Mr. Moore, I-I-I would seriously consider

making a few little.. Major changes.

You would?

It's not one of us, Mr. Moore, or even two of us.

It's all of us.

We all think you've made

a terrible, terrible mistake.

They could be right, Mr. Moore.

Et tu, Jawaharlal?

But personally, I think it's terrific.

[scoffs] Thank you.

U-unfortunately, telling me

it's terrific doesn't help me

improve the play.

Mr. Moore, you've improved it enough.

But don't worry. We can fix it.

Well, I've got a week's rehearsal till opening night

so let's start at the beginning.

Uh, act one, scene one.

Okay.

[instrumental music]

I just wanna tell you again how much I enjoyed the play

in the opening night party.

- Thank you very much. - Yeah.

Oh, um, by the way, could you tell me a little bit about

the guy who played Fortinbras?

Stay away from him.

Too late.

[all cheering]

So how did the play go?

- Was it great? - It was great.

Standing room only.

We can't wait to see it tomorrow night.

Well, it was everything I hoped for.

I don't think I've ever had a better opening night.

Alright. Good for you.

Hey, have there been reviews yet?

This morning. You wanna hear 'em?

- Yep. - 'Yes, sir.'

[clears throat]

Something's rotten in Newark.

Medic?

Charles Moore's 'Hamlet'

fulfilled Shakespeare's intentions

in at least one respect.

His production was a tragedy for all concerned.

Well, you ruined his play. I hope you are all happy.

You shouldn't have listened to them.

Hey, lighten up, man. They feel bad enough as it is.

They? It was your brainwave to drop the video.

Oh-oh, no, no, no, no.

All I said was that I personally hated it.

She is the snob who called it B-movie claptrap.

I didn't hear you disagree, Dennis.

What about Eric's brainstorm?

Hey, I didn't say throw out the motel concept.

Just the neon sign.

Who told him to cut out the rock music?

That's not what I meant, Arvid, and you know it.

All I said was to make it scarier. One little thing.

[clamoring]

I told you all along, leave it alone. I liked it.

I haven't forgotten. You were proud of me.

Very proud.

No one said to me, Jawaharlal, why do you like the play?

But I am going to tell you anyways.

I always thought Hamlet was about these strange people

in an old dark castle.

Nothing to do with people like me.

But then I saw Mr. Moore's Hamlet

and I realized it is about me.

It was all so clear.

To be or not to be.

Mr. Flip-flop.

You didn't have to change it.

I didn't.

- You didn't? - No.

Very proud.

Wait, you didn't change what?

I didn't change anything.

- Not even the motorcycles? - Kept it.

- The lipstick? - Mm-hmm.

- The video? - Especially the video.

- Wait, all of it? - Everything is the same.

[chuckles] Well, great.

- Why great? - He bummed, we didn't.

Nice, Dennis.

Well, Mr. Moore, why didn't you change it?

Well, I'll tell you.

Uh, it took me a long time

to work up the courage to do this production.

I mean, it was a pretty scary experience.

And I did it.

And then I looked at your comments

and there they were again, all of my old fears.

The-the fear of putting yourself on the line.

The fear of taking risks and.. The fear of failure.

When I read your comments, all I saw was, Don't take chances.

That's right.

I-I-I guess that's what upset us most about the play.

I mean, you took chances and we are not used to that.

Maybe my problem with it was

I don't know if it shows, but I'm pretty conservative.

I like my pants cuffed

my ties striped and my Hamlet, dull.

So I guess the whole thing was..

- Threatening. - But you're wrong.

I-it wasn't.

Wait a minute. Does anybody realize that Jawaharlal

has been disagreeing with us

ever since this whole thing started?

You're right, I have.

[laughs]

But I-I really did like the play.

Well, you're not alone.

I'll, uh, share a few others with you.

And I quote..

An audacious triumph.

(all) Ooh!

An occasionally brilliant and original 'Hamlet.'

[applause]

If you like your Hamlet provocative and challenging

Newark's the place to be.

[cheering]

Mr. Moore, you must be very, very--

Please, don't say it.

But you must be.

Yes, I am.

[instrumental music]

Oh, nice reviews, Charlie.

Thanks, some of them were.

Mr. Moore, I gotta be honest with you.

When I went to see your show

I thought I was going to hate it.

I thought when I walked in here today

I wasn't gonna be able to look you in the eye.

But you know, you surprised me.

Your production of Hamlet was...nice.

Very interesting.

Hey, what can I say!

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