All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S01E07_2

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- Lori is alone now, Arvid.
- Oh.

Go talk to her.

If you got the guts.

Yeah, I've got the guts.

Hi, Lori.

Oh, hi, Arvid.

- Is something wrong?
- Yeah, uh, no.

Actually, I was just,
I was just, uh..

- Ad-admiring your feet.

- What?
- We-well, really..

I just was wondering

would you like me to take
a test for you sometime?

Arvid, that's so sweet.

Hey, Lori, Daryl and I just saw
you standing here all alone.

And we thought you might
need some human company.

Arvid was talking to me.

I-i-it was an accident.

I was-I was standing here
talking to myself

and-and-and she stepped
in front of me.

Now, what's an Arvid?

This must be one right here.

(Arvid)
'Yes, I'm an Arvid.'

C-can you wait here
one second?

This is the guy.
This guy right here, officer.

Are you guys with him?

- No.
- No.

Thank you.
Thank you very much. Really.

Let's go.

Oh, hey, Eric, thanks.

I don't like anyone picking
on you guys, except me.

- What happened?
- Oh, nothing.

Just the usual
"Pick on the egg-head" routine.

Does that happen often?

Only on those days
when I leave the house.

Those people make me so sick,
I mean, they treat us

like we're weirdos
or something.

Although they do help
lower the grading curve.

What people?

Lori's boyfriend
and the rest of those jerks

on the basketball team.

You've seen them,
the ones with the big letters

on their jackets to help them
remember the alphabet.

Sounds like we're doing a little
stereotyping of our own here.

And you're speaking
about these people

as though they're
not human beings.

[scoffs]
Biologically, yes.

Humanistically,
the jury's still out.

It's your basic eternal conflict
"Nerds versus the jocks."

Right, it's as old as the
Arcadians versus the Sumerians.

Or the Impressionist
versus the French academy.

The Newtonians versus
the Leibnizians.

Hm, why nobody ever mentions

the ranchers versus
the sheepherders anymore.

Let's face it, Mr. Moore,
athletes, athletics

it's all basically pointless.

You can definitely
count me amongst those

who don't wanna do anything
for the Gipper.

Whatever happened to the ideal

of a sound mind
and a sound body?

I mean, that goes all the way
back to the Ancient Greeks.

Yeah, but the
Ancient Greeks didn't get

towels snapped at them
when they got out of the shower.

Yeah, thank God, we only see
the athletes in the halls now.

Oh, what happens in Phys Ed?

It's not a problem.

[scoffs]
If you get along
with them in the gym

why can't you get along
with them in the hallways?

We don't take gym.

You don't take gym?

(all)
No.

- 'None of you?'
- No.

Huh, call me goofy,
but I thought

that P.E. was a requirement
for graduation.

We're special.

In Dr. Samuels' words
"Our time is too valuable

to waste sweating."

So, he approved
our medical excuses.

- What's wrong with you?
- Well, he gave us a choice.

We can either have
flat feet or hernias.

I took both.

I mean, a-a-and this
is okay with you?

I mean, the only exercise
you get is opening books

and sharpening pencils?

I swim at the Ivy League Club
every Wednesday.

- For exercise.
- No.

Connections.

I plan to take up
jogging in a few years.

Please, not on the streets.
We got enough potholes.

This is ridiculous!

If you're not taking P.E.

I-I think you'd wanna
spend a couple

of afternoons
a week in the gym

just getting
some exercise.

Oh, well, we can't.
A teacher has to be present.

- You got it?
- What?

- What?
- I'll do it.

I will make
the supreme sacrifice.

I'll stay after school with you.

- It's not necessary.
- You don't have to do it.

Nice idea, Mr. Moore, but I
don't think you can find a game

that's co-ed, non-violent
and doesn't require

thousands of dollars
of heavy equipment.

Volleyball anyone?

(all)
Oh!

Great! I'll see you after
school tomorrow in the gym.

Bring some sneakers
and, uh, whatever

you think you'd wear in a gym.

Good.

Okay, uh..

Dennis, do you wanna
try stretching?

Please, Mr. Moore, some of us
may wanna have children.

Okay, uh, before we get started,
does anybody have any questions?

Only one.
Do we've to get started?

(Charlie)
Yes.

Now, does anybody know
anything about volleyball?

I do, volleyball is
a six-a-side court game

invented in the
United States in 1895

in which an inflated ball
is hit with the hands or arms.

The rules are fairly simple
and I have a few changes

that I would like to suggest.

Oh, thank you, Janice.
Maybe later.

Uh, Jawaharlal,
join us, please.

Okay, uh, Alan swims.

Uh, has anyone else
ever played any sport?

I took a tennis lesson once.

Okay. Uh, the two of you
are captains.

Darlene, you pick first.

I pass.

I'll take Eric.

(Alan)
'Sarah.'

(Darlene)
'Jawaharlal.'

(Alan)
'Maria.'

Dennis.

(Alan)
'Simone.'

[whispering]
Janice.

Janice.

What? This is volleyball.

I-if you haven't noticed
I'm a foot taller than she is.

Okay, okay, let's, uh,
let's try a volley.

Your team's
over there, Darlene.

Alan, you guys are over here.
Spread out.

Cover the court, okay?

Give me that ball!
Get over there.

Let's go.
Heads up now.

[instrumental music]

Oh, this is worse than gym.

Now I'm being humiliated
on a voluntary basis.

[instrumental music]

Good one!

Real good.

[instrumental music]

Yeah.

Uh, Dr. Samuels..

I, uh, wanted to talk to you
about this gym situation.

What gym situation?

Well, my-my IHP class says
none of them take gym.

♪ Pa-pa-pam-pam-pam-pam-pam-pam
pam-pam-pam-pam-pam ♪♪

Mr. Moore,
this is a school matter.

There is a time and a place
for this discussion.

Wouldn't that place
be school?

Mr. Moore, stick with History.

Leave gym to the experts.

Physical Education
is not for everybody.

I've never, uh,
exercised a day in my life.

It's hard to believe.

Listen, Mr. Moore,
it's bad enough

that you meddle
with their minds.

Don't meddle
with their bodies.

Well, I'll just go back
to doing what I do best.

Whatever that is.

- Hi, Lori.
- Hi.

Hey, listen, I was thinking
if you weren't busy Friday

we could go to a Broadway show,
a cup of coffee

maybe a movie after, uh, dinner
like Harness Wrestling.

- "Harness Wrestling?"
- Uh, "Harness Racing."

Sounds good, Arvid,
but can you afford all that?

Hey, I-I won't go to college.

Sorry, Arvid.

But I like the way
you came right out

and asked me this time.

Yeah, well, uh, I don't know.

I've been kinda getting
in touch with my body lately.

So, I figured,
well, you know

maybe my body could, you know

get in touch
with your body and, uh..

- Arvid.
- And then we--

[chuckles]
Did I hear what I
just thought I heard?

Barry, leave him alone.

Oh, sure, Lori.

I don't know,
why I'm messing around

with this four-eyed
freak of nature.

Oh, yeah, well,
for your information

I happen to be a part of
a pretty hot volleyball team.

- Oh!
- A what?

We're looking for a game.

Are you serious?

Uh, yeah.

You want it? You got it.
Tomorrow after school.

Be there.

- Tomorrow?
- Yeah.

- Uh, tomorrow good for you?
- Yeah.

Uh, how about you?
Tomorrow okay?

Fine.

Okay.

You're on.
Tomorrow!

Yeah, I-I-I-I'm
flexible if you..

[instrumental music]

- You what?
- I couldn't help it.

They had me backed
into a corner.

You just made a new
scientific discovery.

The mouth is quicker
than the brain.

Arvid, I can't even believe
you did that.

- Well, let me just explain.
- The answer is no.

[stuttering]
You didn't hear
the question.

I don't have to,
if you wanna challenge

the basketball team
to a volleyball game

play them yourself.

I-I did this for our honor.

No, you did this
for a date with Lori.

That would be an honor.

I think we should stand
behind Arvid.

I-I mean, when they insult him

they insult each
and every one of us.

- She's right. She is.
- Yeah.

And after we play them
they'll have one more thing

to insult us about.

Wait a minute.
We're not that bad.

Actually, we made a rather
good start yesterday.

Yeah, you all got
your sneakers on the right feet.

Wait a minute.
Listen to me for a second.

We're all high achievers.

And we've the definite advantage

because we can do one thing

that those jockstrappers
can't do.

We can think.

Can I say something?

Are you people missing
some chromosomes?

We'll get annihilated
out there.

You see, this could work
to our advantage.

They're so overconfident,
they're bound to blow it.

It's only if they didn't think
they could cream us

that they could cream us.

Come on, what do you say?

I don't believe
I'm saying this

but Arvid might be right.

I don't believe
you saying it either.

Well, hold on, we're not
thinking about this properly.

Volleyball is a game of
strategy and not muscle, right?

- Right.
- Right.

Well, if it takes
strategy to win

who can out strategize us?

I see it. I see it.

The basketball team
looks better in tank tops

but we've got the brain power.

- We can do it.
- Yeah, we can do it. Come on.

[bell ringing]

Good morning, everybody.

Good morning, Mr. Moore.

- Mr. Moore.
- Yes.

Arvid got us a volleyball game

with the basketball team.

Whoa, sounds like fun.

You guys friends now?

No, we're gonna get even.

- Get even?
- Revenge, Mr. Moore.

Whole calculated revenge.

For years of name calling,
humiliation..

- What else?
- Indignities.

"Indignities."

Well, uh, correct me if I'm
wrong and I'm sure you will.

But, uh, wasn't that
Machiavelli who said

"In order to exact revenge
one has to win?"

We thought of that, Mr. Moore.

You haven't seen us
in action.

You've been seeing
the academic Olympics

speech and debate competitions,
science fairs.

- We are winners.
- Yeah.

We don't know how to lose.

Besides, American mythology
and popular culture

tells us the underdog
always wins.

Horatio Alger,
Walter Mitty,

"Rocky" one through four.

"The little engine
that could."

That's mythology.
I'll give you history.

It's, uh,
"Custer's Last Stand."

"The Alamo."

"The Air Traffic Controllers."

"Mondale."

- Alright.
- No, no, no, no.

All we've to do is
to buy us a strategy

that will optimize
our abilities

while neutralizing
theirs, simple.

What about a little thing
like knowing how to play?

They've books for that stuff.

What about being in shape?

It's all up here, Mr. Moore.
We can do it.

I can't wait
for the opening throw up.

- When is this game?
- Tomorrow.

- Can you be there?
- To be a coach?

Oh, we can't use the gym unless
a faculty member is present.

Well, given that
and your obvious enthusiasm

I feel honored, I feel proud
and I feel somewhat trapped.

Great!
Practice today after school.

- Oh, yeah.
- We're gonna do it!

[knocking on door]

You wanted to see me?

Mr. Moore, I'd like a word
with you.

Just one?

- Volleyball, Mr. Moore.
- That's three.

You told me you were through
with your athletic program.

Now there's rumors
of a big game.

So, I've heard.

Heard, Mr. Moore
or instigated?

Arvid challenged the jocks
to a volleyball game.

Why?

Well, it's an old story.

- Remember the Trojan war?
- Yeah.

Same thing.

Refresh me.

Two guys. One girl.

I knew this would happen.

They're delicate instruments.

Amateur shouldn't be
tampering with them.

They're supposed to be getting
ready for an academic meet

instead they're obsessed
with volleyball.

No, they're obsessed
with winning.

That's because
they're winners.

Let's stick a pin
into volleyball, okay?

I don't know, Dr. Samuels

it maybe a little too late
for that.

- See that plaque up there?
- Yeah.

It says "Principal."

No, it doesn't.

- Yes, it does.
- No, it doesn't.

- Yes, it does.
- 'No.'

Janice, great, look,
I found this in the library.

It's called
"Winning through intimidation."

- Perfect.
- Intimidation. Look at this.

My SAT scores.

Okay, smile everybody,
we're gonna be

on "Wide World of Wimps."

What's that for?

Why, I thought
I'd tape the practice

then you can take
a look at yourselves.

Okay, everybody,
you're ready to have some fun?

(all)
Yeah!

What do you mean fun?
We're here to win.

- Take no prisoners.
- That's right.

IHP.
First Blood. Take one.

- Whoa.
- Show me some action.

Alright, servicing my side.

- Let's throw the ball.
- Let's do it.

- Watch this, Mr. Moore.
- Watching.

- Whoa.
- Yeah.

[instrumental music]

Okay, everybody, here it is.
Yesterday's practice tape.

- 'Whoa.'
- 'Alright, put it on.'

Yeah, let's see what those jocks
have in store for them.

Yeah, come on.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh!

Oh!

Nice miss, Darlene.

- She was in my way.
- Okay, okay.

There's nobody there
to get my pass.

You kicked me!

Oh, get under it, get under it.

- Oh!
- Ouch.

- Oh.
- Damn!

Oh, my goodness!

Mr. Moore, did you
edit out our good stuff?

This is your good stuff.

Are we really that bad,
Mr. Moore?

[chuckles]
Yes, you are.

I think, maybe we better
have another practice.

- Yeah.
- That's a good idea.

It's about three minutes
till game time.

Which means it's time
for my pep talk.

Pep talk?
It's gonna be a disaster.

- Embarrassing.
- A nightmare.

Come on, you're gonna
go out there

something very exciting
is gonna happen.

You're gonna lose.

That's exciting?

Yes, you've never
done it before.

It's not because
you didn't try hard.

It's not because
you're not smart.

You're gonna lose
because they know

really how to play.

Uh, you call this
a pep talk?

I call it the truth.

I mean, you maybe brilliant

but you're in over your heads.

Look, you take the smartest
chicken in the world

and you put it in a cage
with the world's dumbest lion

you got instant McNuggets.

- Right.
- We-we don't have a chance.

What's the point,
we're just gonna lose.

Oh, another psychological scar.

Now, wait. Wait.

Just take another look
at yourselves here.

Oh, Janice,
I'm sorry I landed on you.

It's okay.

Watch, this is where Dennis,
uh..

Look there, we look like
three girls in one outfit.

Hey, hey, look at this one.

[laughing]

Mr. Moore, that was
so much fun.

Yeah, fun and exercise.

And it was nice when you turned
into a team to help Arvid.

But then you, uh,
you had to get into revenge.

Competition.

You forgot
all about cooperation

which can be fulfilling

and a lot more fun
as you just observed.

So, in these final
fleeting moments

before your humiliating defeat

let me give you a little tip.
Just go out there and have fun.

Just play the game.

Enjoy yourselves
and when it's over, be gracious.

Shake their hands.
Thank them for a good game.

They won't know what hit them.

Okay, now you've worked hard.
You've done very well.

And I'm proud of you.

So, go out there
and get your butts kicked.

Yeah.

- Alright. IHP!
- IHP!

[all chanting]
IHP, IHP, IHP..

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

No. Oh, God.
It's Lori.

I don't want her to see me
after yesterday's fiasco.

Wh-what's the matter?
I mean, you did just fine.

I think you probably
impressed Lori.

How? By hitting
the ball with my face?

That took guts
and imagination, okay.

Say hello to her
if you want.

You know what,
you're right.

[sighing]

Well, go ahead.

Now?

Okay.

Eh, hey, Barry.
Great game!

You guys were beautiful.
Learned a lot.

Lori...later.

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