Original subtitles

[theme music]

[music continues]

The question remains, why, in 1945

the British voters chose..

[banging on door]

[sighs] Sorry, I'm late, sir.

This isn't late, Janice. Think of it as early for lunch.

It wasn't my fault. The subway stalled.

We were all trapped in the dark for 40 minutes.

Luckily, I had my cello.

Can you believe not one person knew the words

to "Kommt Eine Schlangen Bershka Gangen."

That's why I keep out of the subway.

Gangs and cellists.

Yeah, let's get back to the British elections.

Now, in 1945, the voters chose to reject Churchill.

A man who, earlier, they perceived to have won the war.

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Moore.

Churchill didn't win the war, a computer won the war.

I can think of a number of veterans' organizations

that would argue with that.

But Colossus made a major contribution.

"Colossus?" The movie starring Victor Mature?

[laughing]

No.

Colossus was the first electronic computer ever built.

They used it to break the enemy code.

That's what made the difference.

No, the people that built

the computer made the difference.

See, people build machines.

Machines build machines.

People build machines to build machines.

Should I put that on the board for ya?

You're right. He is resisting it.

Resisting what?

Admit it, Mr. Moore, you get weirded out

every time we talk about computers.

No. It's not talking about them, it's talking to them.

Naming them. Good morning, Fred. Good morning, Wilma.

No, no, no, no. That's Fred, this is Wilma.

- How do you tell them apart? - You have to lift them up.

He is computer phobic.

I am not computer phobic.

I realize that computers have a place in our world

which in my case

seems to be to screw up my phone bills

scratch my plane reservations and scramble my bank statements.

Well, just because of a few little inconveniences

you're ready to trash the miracle of our time?

Yeah, you know, in a few years, computers will take us

to places like Jupiter.

Yes, and my baggage will be on Mars.

Mr. Moore, you're overreacting.

Really? Wha-what about baseball?

Now, we have a computer in the dugout that tells us

Dave Winfield can bat 300 against pitchers named Al.

So, what is wrong with that?

Well, it doesn't leave room for characters like Yogi Berra.

Here's a guy who once said, "Baseball is fifty percent luck

"fifty percent physical

and the other ten percent is mental."

But, Mr. Moore, that doesn't make any sense.

But it's baseball. It's human.

Computers are for banking

which brings me back to my bank statement.

Well, I think what Mr. Moore is saying

is that for the sake of efficiency

well, we're losing a little bit of our humanity.

Exactly. Thank you, Simone.

But you're wrong.

[bell ringing]

Look, I don't know how this degenerated

into a discussion about computers

but we are a history class

and tomorrow, we're gonna keep talking

about real, live dead people.

Okay, Mr. Moore, but you really should give Wilma a try.

Many teachers have come to enjoy

the wonderful world of word processing.

Thank you, Dennis, but, uh, this is my word processor.

I've been using it for years.

This is the entry mode. Delete.

And, uh, if it goes down

I just buy another dozen, they're cheap.

[instrumental music]

- Hi. - Hi.

Oh, no. I hate it when this happens.

An anonymous love note.

Ooh, let me see.

"Turn me on, my teacher

"every day you do.

"Light me up with wisdom

from the soul of you."

[laughs]

Charlie, there's more.

I'll go and show this to Carol.

Why-why don't we just turn on the PA

and read it to the whole school?

Oh, Charlie, I'm very sorry.

So, what are you gonna do about it?

Uh, poetry. It's Simone.

I think it's best to stop these things before they start.

[instrumental music]

(Alan) 'Churchill was elected prime minister'

'again in 1951.'

'And during his years out of office'

'he wrote his series of six books'

on World War II.

If he'd had a word processer

he could've written twelve books.

Yeah, and Moses could've written the "Twenty Commandments."

Sorry to interrupt, uh, but not very.

I just have a little cue I want to inform the class on.

Well, congratulations. Which country?

Please save your jokes for someone

who thinks you're funny.

- Big news, gang. - A hush falls over the crowd.

I have secured three entire pages of the yearbook

exclusively for my honors program.

I need a biography from each of you

to go next to your color photographs.

(Jawaharlal) 'You're a wonderful person, Dr. Samuels.'

The only other color photograph

in the entire yearbook is of Mrs. Candlish.

That's because she died.

Sensitive gesture, Dr. Samuels.

So, fill out these forms.

I need them ASAP or sooner.

1250 BC, Alan?

The Trojan War.

First person to calculate the circumference of the earth?

- The big A? - Ptolemy.

145 AD.

A well-oiled machine.

[chuckles]

Name, age, clubs, hobbies, awards.

This is exciting stuff, guys.

Don't forget to list your shoe size.

That's the way Dr. Samuels wants it.

Well, uh, let me rephrase that.

I-if we don't it Dr. Samuels' way, he'll kill us.

But what about how you feel?

I mean, the stuff that's exciting to you.

Like what?

Well, Dennis, if you could speak to the entire world

what would you say?

Let's work together to help stop the spread of country music?

Okay. Uh, Alan?

What's your favorite movie?

"Cattle Queen of Montana."

Yeah, that's when President Reagan

was real young and vibrant.

Uh, Janice, what's your dream in life?

To colonize another planet

entirely out of Lego's.

Interesting.

You see, uh, that's the real person.

Of course, if that's too radical for you

you can always do it in the old, dull way.

[bell ringing]

'Okay, don't forget, tomorrow'

women in the workforce during the war, post-war years.

And, Simone, I need to see you for a moment.

Oh, of course.

Have a seat, please.

Simone, uh, one of your greatest gifts

is, uh, your romantic vision of life.

I think it comes through very clearly in your poetry.

You know what I mean?

Poetry..

...as a means of communication.

Oh, yeah.

- "Give me a kiss." - What?

"And to that kiss a score

"and then to that twenty, add a hundred more.

A thousand to that hundred. So kiss on."

- Simone. - Robert Herrick.

- English, 17th century. - Right.

[laughs]

Well, y-y-you have a wonderful quality, Simone

and I hope it's something you never, ever lose.

Well, Robert Lowell said

"We poets in our youth begin in sadness.

Thereof, in the end, come despondency and madness."

Correct. Uh, Simone..

You see, sometimes, we-we tend to put people we admire

up on a pedestal.

Now, when I was in junior high

I-I had a teacher named Ms. Barrenger

and I was convinced that I was in love with her.

'I think you know what I'm saying.'

Pablo Neruda said it.

"I could write the saddest poem tonight--"

No, no. That's not what I'm saying.

[sighs]

Does this look familiar?

- Huh, yes. - Oh.

The rhyme scheme looks familiar.

Blank, A, blank, A. On the simple trochaic rhythm--

No, no, no. It's not a test, Simone. Thank you very much.

I-I was just having trouble placing this poem

and, uh, thought maybe you were the person to ask.

Oh, well, it's not any major poet.

I mean, "Turn me on, my teacher?"

Uh, I'd try either a Hallmark Card

or maybe Luther Vandross.

Luther Vandross.

Good.

[instrumental music]

Well, did you nip it in the bud?

Wrong bud.

Where do these notes come from anyway?

Oh, the office computer

which a basic, love-sick teenager can program

from any terminal in the building.

That's great.

That narrows it down to about 1200 girls.

Unh-unh. Only your honors program users in first period.

That narrows it down to five.

Make it four.

I only have one note.

Make it two. This is getting serious.

You know, I've been here before

and the worst thing you can do is ignore this.

"How long I searched my memory

"for one as worldly wise as thee

"but ended his love's calculus

for I know there's a place for us."

Yeah, last line sounds familiar.

Yes, it sounds like a song from "West Side Story."

Well, maybe that's a hint. Maybe she's into musical comedy.

Bernadette, "West Side Story" is hardly a comedy.

I mean, almost everyone dies. Bernardo, Riff, Tony.

Only one left alive is..

[instrumental music]

Maria, one of your greatest gifts

is your, your unique vision of the human condition.

And it's something that I hope you never, ever lose.

Yeah, so?

But sometimes we put those we admire up on pedestals--

Oh, how'd you know?

I have, uh, you know, call it a gift.

A sixth sense for these things.

You know, it's like you're so in touch with your feelings

you get to see right through me, right?

Maria, when I was in junior high

I had a teacher named Ms. Barrenger and--

- And you loved her, right? - Right.

And you didn't know how to tell her, right?

- Right. - Oh, my God!

That's exactly how I feel.

- I think I'm in love.. - Maria..

With David.

- David? - Of course, David.

Who'd you think I was talking about?

Well, I-I-I didn't know the guy's name.

I-I sensed there was somebody.

David Markowitz isn't just somebody.

He's only the most incredible looking guy

in the whole entire senior class.

[sighs]

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I mean, I don't even think he knows I'm alive.

I mean, I know he knows I'm alive

but I don't think he's happy about it.

Hey, Maria, uh

if there's anything I can do to help, uh..

You know, sometimes when a girl wants a boy to notice her

she sends him a note.

A note?

Mr. Moore, that is so Darlene.

[instrumental music]

- 'Morning, Mr. Moore.' - Morning, Janice.

Okay, Mr. Moore, this is funny.

[chuckles]

How many computer programmers does it take

to change a light bulb?

I give up, Dennis. How many?

It can't be done.

It's a hardware problem.

[laughs]

Oh, you don't get it, do you?

I'll explain it later.

That's a super jacket, Mr. Moore.

You look really hot.

Well, not at all, Darlene. Uh, it's linen, it breathes.

When I say hot, I mean, you know, cool.

I really admire the way you dress.

- Darlene-- - Yeah, me too.

At your age, you got guts.

Well, so how are we, uh, this morning, all of us?

Uh, Mr. Moore, I-I started my bio.

- Is this what you meant? - I don't know, let's hear it.

[Arvid clears throat]

"Arvid thinks of himself as the floating variable

"riding the surf of advanced algebra

trying to find the perfect geometric waveform."

[chuckles]

I-I like it, Arvid. I mean, it's the right idea.

I'm learning more about you.

Mr. Moore, I see what you're going for.

This could be interesting.

Mr. Moore always has great ideas.

This is so dumb. Who can't do this?

- Uh, so, uh, do it. - No..

[clamoring]

At age five, I was the leader of my own gang.

No, really. We robbed liquor stores with low accounts.

At age six, I was back in prison.

It was good to see ma again.

That isn't what you meant, is it?

I mean, he said all lies.

Well, it's okay because sometimes a lie tells you

more about a person than the truth.

That's a really good answer, Mr. Moore.

[instrumental music]

...in everything you do

and it's something I hope you never ever lose.

But sometimes, we put people we admire up on pedestals.

I think I know what it is you're talking about.

I'm so glad.

Well, it's something I've had to deal with my whole life.

It's part of being, well, let's just say, extremely attractive.

Men fall for me.

But I know that they're only falling for what I represent.

Oh, um, actually, Darlene, I--

A physical and intellectual ideal.

Something that they can never, ever have.

So, I try to let them down easy, Mr. Moore.

But sometimes, yes.

I can be...cruel.

Cruel?

Look, Mr. Moore, I am flattered, I am.

But you're gonna have to forget it.

Darlene!

Mr. Moore.

I just wanted to tell you that

you have a romantic quality in life

and it's something I hope you never ever lose.

What?

Well, I just wanted to be the one to say it first.

- Excuse me? - Oh, the notes.

Well, I was next on your list, wasn't I?

Well, I just wanted to tell you

I'm not the one who wrote them either.

So, uh, you know about the notes?

Well, we all do, and we know who wrote them.

- Who? - Well, I can't tell you.

But don't lose heart, Mr. Moore you will figure it out.

Yeah. I mean, the only one left is Janice.

Janice?

- Hi, Mr. Moore. - Hi, Janice.

[instrumental music]

(Mr. Samuels) 'Mr. Moore?'

- Yes, sir. - Mr. Moore.

I read these kooky bios from my honors class

a-and I don't recognize anyone.

Well, perhaps you should get to know them better.

What did you tell them?

I told them to have fun.

This isn't a ski trip, Mr. Moore, it's an assignment.

Who cares if Simone thinks

she was Balzac in her former life?

Well, I thought that was pretty creative.

I don't want creativity.

I want clubs, I want achievements, I want prizes.

Well, don't give up hope.

Your life isn't over yet.

You sure know how to handle the big guy.

- Part of the job. - Hmm.

Oh, what's happening with the mystery groupie?

Well, actually, the mystery is solved.

It seems it's little Janice.

Janice?

Oh, you got a problem.

I mean, what do you say to a ten-year-old genius

to let her down easy?

[instrumental music]

(Moore) 'Thanks for coming in early, Janice.'

I, I really don't know how to say this.

Is it a big word like "Polytetrafluoroethylene?"

- Just say "Teflon." - No.

Uh, well, I-I-I don't know how to..

I-I'm trying to say that

you're-you're starting to grow up.

Yeah, I'm 4'8 and a half. That's 1.4351 meters.

No, I-I meant, emotionally.

I mean, you're practically a teenager

and you know how they get.

Yeah, pimples, braces and then they expect you to kiss them.

Maybe I'll get lucky and die first.

I'll start again.

Janice..

'...you're a very nice little girl.'

You've got a wonderful life ahead of you.

You're very special, and someday you'll meet someone

and you won't even remember my name.

I'm a genius. How could I forget "Moore?"

Okay, let me put this as sensitively as I can.

Have you been sending me love notes?

Barf-O-Rama.

Me? You thought it was me?

Well, call me crazy, but--

Maybe someday I wouldn't mind going out with an older man.

Once I start going out, that is.

But not with an old man.

Okay, okay, so you didn't write it?

No.

But you know who did?

Yeah.

- I suppose you can tell me? - No.

Why me?

Maybe I can help.

Where have the messages been coming from?

Uh, from the main computer in the principal's office.

Okay, we'll start there.

If we access the computer's memory

and trace each note to its source terminal--

Thanks, Janice, but, uh, I think

a human problem deserves a human solution.

- You wanna do it the hard way? - Hmm.

I'll give you a hint. It's not a student.

[instrumental music]

If this is your idea of a joke, it's in bad taste.

Now, if it's true

I'm free for dinner on Wednesday.

Oh, Charlie, you think that I wrote you the notes?

Could you just let me down real quickly?

I got a lotta things to do.

- Sure, I'd love to. - Okay, thanks.

Uh, it will never work between us, Bernadette.

You're administration, I'm faculty.

'You read the "Post," I read the "Times."'

Why is this happening to me? I mean, who-who is doing this?

I don't know, but that's probably for you.

They usually come in around this time.

(Moore) 'Yeah?'

I got it. I know who it is.

And she's going to love these flowers.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct whispering]

[door shuts]

My little angels.

(all) Good morning, Mr. Moore.

Good morning, class.

These are not for you

they're not for you, they're not for you

they're not for you and they're not for you.

They are for you.

For moi?

You shouldn't have.

I didn't.

They're for Wilma.

[applause]

He figured it out.

It took him long enough.

I've built computers in less time.

Well, I'm sorry it took me so long

to deduce it was you, Wilma.

How'd you figure it out, Mr. Moore?

Well, "Two different worlds, that's you and me

"yet we share the same electricity.

I need your touch, so I might glow."

Dennis and the girls really had you going, huh, Mr. Moore?

It was hard to keep a straight face.

"We tend to put the people that we admire on pedestals."

I mean, I almost lost it.

I'm not really in love with David Markowitz.

Good, Maria. A boy like that, he'd kill your brother.

Luther Vandross?

Wilma..

All of you, I-I-I appreciate what you've done

and I-I guess I'm about to turn on my first computer.

[applause]

Welcome to the 20th century, Mr. Moore.

[instrumental music]

Mr. Moore, apparently, you don't listen.

Eisenhower, a picture of a bunny rabbit?

Balzac? Th-there's no clubs or grades here.

Yeah, it's them.

It's what they wanna say about themselves.

This is my yearbook.

No, it's their yearbook.

Yours was 1950.

I think tomorrow I'm going to call the Board of Education

and have them check out your license.

(Moore) I see a wonderful life in the future for us, Wilma.

And if you love me like you say you do, prove it.

Just tell me who's messing up my phone bills.

I think I'm calling them now.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]