Original subtitles

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Whoa! Whoa! Wait! We've got an emergency.

Get back I tell you! Get back!

You okay?

Okay just stay there. It's all right.

Just stay there. What happened?

I don't know.

One check to one AP.

We got a 417 on ramp B.

Four-seventeen on ramp B.

We got a male, dark hair, dark complexion, about 5'10,

a hundred-seventy pounds, black windbreaker, black pants.

He's got a gun! He's got a gun!

Get out of the way! Get out of the way!

Hey! Hey! Go, go, go, go.

No weapon.

Way to spot that 417 Walter.

Good eye on you.

I just happened to glance back, I saw him.

It was lucky.

No, it was head's up stuff, man.

You were on it man.

Hey Walter, how come you get

so spruced up every night, huh?

Every night he goes out of here

looking like Fred Astaire or something.

I'm going to see my wife.

That's the reason?

What? You think that's funny?

What better reason is there to get dressed up than

to go home and see your wife?

Tony, Guard 1: Man, Walter you're like a throwback

or something, man.

A throwback?

Man with gold chain: There you go.

What do you mean a throwback?

Yeah, you know I mean just...

So, I suppose your advanced state of matrimony

is dragging your wife around by the hair all day?

That's about right for Tony.

Walter, come on.

You know I'm just playing with you.

Come on.

Hey, I tell you what, let's go down to Cosmo's

and I'll buy, huh?

No, I got a job interview.

Whoa! Wait.

Suit yourself bro. All the more for me.

What's that?

You moonlighting?

Just trying to get ahead a little.

Man, I should be doing that.

My little girl wants to be a ballerina.

Costs money.

That's cute, but Walter tell me something.

How's a greasy guy like you end up with such a fine babe? Huh?

Is it the clothes?

The Italians are a superior race.

Here we go again.

Superior race?

You hearing this stuff?

Man, if you guys are the superior race

how come you guys have had 52 governments since World War II?

You think it's easy to get rid of the crooks, huh?

You guys are always talking about term limits.

We invented term limits.

Matter of fact, the Italians invented everything great.

Like what?

Like pizza.

Pizza's good.

And spaghetti.

Yeah, what else Walter?

And opera.

And music.

And sculpture and scungilli, and anything

that tastes good or looks good, we invented.

Mickey, Janitor: Hey, Walter.

What's up bro?

Uh, look my cousin was asking me if I knew anybody

that wanted to buy this gun he got.

Yeah, so?

You know I know you working nights and everything,

maybe you want to get it for your wife and daughter.

What do you mean?

Well, you've got to be careful with what's

happening right now with everything going on and all.

You know.

I never had no trouble.

Once you had it, man, it's too late.

It's your wife and daughter man.

No.

No I'm trying to save money anyway.

Yeah, well I think he's asking $50.

What's that?

What's that?

It's a gun. What's it look like?

What for?

What for?

To protect my family.

From what?

I don't know, whatever.

Burglars, muggers, invasion robberies.

You see invaders coming in here?

If they come in then it's too late.

What's wrong Walter?

What's wrong?

You come in here. You toss a gun on the table.

You repeat everything I say.

Something's wrong.

You in trouble?

Am I in trouble? No.

I took a nightshift from six to two am, and that's why

I bought you the gun.

Now come on.

It's just for a little while.

I'm just having a little trouble making ends meet,

and I need to catch up a little.

Why aren't the ends meeting?

Because freaking , he raised the rent again.

My little girl wants ballet lessons and art lessons

and clay lessons, and I want to get you that

engagement ring you always wanted.

It's our seven year anniversary.

I don't want an engagement ring. All right?

I can get a job. You know?

When Chelsea's at school,

I could work and we could be together.

No.

You stay home and take care of the family.

That's important.

How can we afford a gun?

How can we afford not to protect our family?

Besides, we can sell it for five times what I paid for it.

Consider it an investment.

Yeah.

Go invest it in a drawer, somewhere I can't see it.

All right?

I bought it for you.

I want you to learn how to shoot it.

I don't think you want me to learn how to shoot it Walter.

Oh, ho, ho, ho!

Big lug.

You just want to hang out with the guys at night so you don't

have to be with me.

Oh, that's not true.

I just got a little job at for a little while.

Besides there's nobody I'd rather be with than you.

I want to get a real job.

You got a real job.

Your job is to be the best mom and sexiest wife a guy ever had.

Do you hear yourself?

Best mom and sexiest wife a guy ever had?

You don't even know what you said.

Come on.

Come on.

Lose my mind over you.

Gross!

Oh, there she is! Come here you little pumpkin.

Come here. Come here.

Look at you. My girls.

Do I got the best family in the world or what?

You just whacked my quarter.

I'm sorry.

Here. Let me see if I can help you find it.

It's there. There it is right there.

I can't quite feel it.

Sorry.

Got another one?

Let me check.

So, what are you writing?

Kind of like diary.

It's how I keep from getting bored out of my skull.

No kidding. I'm a writer too.

Are you making fun of me?

Absolutely not.

No, that's my profession.

That's why I'm home in the middle of the day.

What are you doing down here?

Writer's block.

Looking for ideas.

You getting any?

Yeah.

What kind of writing do you do?

Um, fiction, short stories, novels.

Boy, that's something that I would love to do,

just sit down and write and get paid for it.

That's the trick isn't it?

Figuring out how to get paid for it.

Well, you get paid for it right?

How do you think I can afford to be so

generous with my quarters?

Jack Keyes.

Just moved in, west wing, apartment 215.

Lilly Difideli's.

103 east.

It's on the cover.

I just think there's more to life

than keeping in shape and being a mother.

There's nothing more important.

Without motherhood the species would not exist.

Without motherhood the young would not learn

the ways of the old

and then there would be chaos.

I did my bit for the species, Walter.

Now it's your turn.

You teach them the ways of the old.

Come on honey. Look at this.

I'm the only guy in New York whose underwear's is

pressed better than most guy's suits.

My great contribution to the species.

Well I didn't tell you to iron them.

I think it's nuts.

I do it because I love you, all right.

If you're ever in an accident I don't want them treating

you like some bum off the street just because your underwear's

all holey and dingy.

Honey, if I'm in an accident I'm not going to be

worrying about my underwear's.

I'm dying here Walter.

I mean with you gone all day and night, you know.

I don't have a grownup to talk to and...

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I know, I know.

Shh.

It's going to be fine.

That gun was used in the assassination wasn't it?

Huh?

What do you know about this group?

We're going to find that gun and we're going to nail you.

It's been 48 hours.

You gotta let him go.

I know, I know. It's a crime.

Waiting to happen again.

You know lots of writers work in diaries.

You scared me.

I'm serious.

Steinbeck wrote two hours a day, every day.

Then would write East of Eden .

And there's Defoe's Journal of the Plague Year .

Diary of Anne Frank.

Diary of a Mad Housewife.

I could write that.

Ah, then there's Mary Shelley who was a 19-year-old

bored housewife who was sick of listening

to her husband's ghost stories,

so she sat down one day and wrote Frankenstein .

Huh.

What kind of stories do you write?

Different kinds.

They all have some things in common.

Like?

Like primal emotions, feelings that go back

to the very beginning, the first vertebrates.

Like what?

Hunger.

Greed, which comes from hunger.

Yeah.

Lust is another form of hunger.

Sex.

Danger.

Why danger?

Danger is the most primal of all experiences.

It arouses every sense, every nerve.

It's why Shakespeare wrote about it, Romeo and Juliet ,

MacBeth, Othello.

She loved me for the dangers I had passed, and I loved her

that she did pity them.

You writing now?

I'm always writing.

I'm always doing laundry.

Lilly, oh Lilly come closer.

Shut softly your watery eyes.

The pangs of your sadness will pass as your senses will rise.

Did you write that?

For you.

They're still wet.

I like them that way.

Jack, what are you doing here?

You left these in the dryer.

When do I get to see you again?

Walter works six days and nights a week.

He's home on Fridays.

What's he do?

He's a security guard.

Oh God.

You said you liked to write about danger.

Thanks for returning my panties.

Let me tell you another great thing Italians discovered.

America.

America?

I thought that the vikings discovered America?

Erica the red?

What?

Yeah, that's why they call it America.

Do you have a brain in your body?

It was named after America Vespucci,

an Italian who explored it.

It was discovered by Christopher Columbus, another Italian.

Why do you think we celebrate

Christopher Columbus day next Monday?

I'll tell you another thing that interests me.

We've got two national holidays based on individuals,

and they're both from minorities.

We've got Martin Luther King Jr's who is a black,

and we've got Christopher Columbus Day who's an Italian.

You forgot about Washington.

No.

They lumped that all together into President's Day.

Hey, I got one.

Christmas for Jesus.

No, he's Jewish.

He's Jewish.

So all our national holidays are minorities.

We got a black a Jew and an Italian.

Is this a great country or what?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

You!

Oh my God!

Lilly.

Wait, wait, wait. Would you wait?

Get away from me you pervert.

Oh my God! This explains everything.

Listen to me!

Oh my God!

Listen just listen. All right.

I'm a writer.

What does that have to do with anything?

Everything.

Everything.

Writers are observers okay?

We have to stay separate from our experiences

so we can judge them,

so we can write about them.

I didn't want to stay separate from my experience with you

so I taped it.

Right?

That's why I could let go so much of myself.

It's why you enjoyed it so much,

and you did.

You know you did.

You want the tape?

You can have the tape.

This isn't about that.

It's not about that.

This is about you and me and Jack the writer.

I have your keys.

I want you to.

Awe Joey man why didn't you change the light bulb?

Making all this big money can't change the light bulb.

Shh. Don't look at me.

Okay, okay. All right. All right.

Don't look at me.

Okay, I'm not. I'm not, man.

I can't even see in here.

Your wife and boys will appreciate your cooperation.

Jeffrey and Lamont. Nice kids.

What do you want man?

Wednesday morning 10:00 am. The trash.

Where is it?

I sold it. I sold it

I sold it. I sold it.

You sold the trash? What are you talking about?

You found the gun?

No.

Who did you sell it to?

I can get it for you.

Who?

Who did you sell it to?

Walter is the gentle one.

See, there's like a streak of cruelty in the

family except for Walter.

Something like a mafia gene.

Mafia gene.

Fantastic.

Brutality runs through his body like a flux.

Every look, every smile, every word is tinged

with a shade of cruelty,

and his love making is a punishing,

pounding payback from...

Where'd you say his family is from?

Palermo. Naples. Misterbianco.

Misterbianco?

It's in Eastern Sicily.

His lovemaking is a punishing, pounding payback

from Naples, Palermo and Misterbianco.

Where the blood of the Difideli's flow

through the streets like wine.

From broken casks.

Wow.

Walter? Walter?

Walter.

Huh?

Walter.

I can explain everything. See--

Shut up.

Yeah.

Look what I found last night. On the floor.

Where my daughter plays with her toys.

Full of rat turds.

I...

I...

We got a rat nesting in your underwears.

And I'm going to go right now and I'm

going to pay a visit.

Right now.

That low-life maggot.

Yeah, it's his building and I'm busting my ass

to pay for this place,

and we got rats.

Walter! Walter!

What?

Leave the gun here.

Yeah.

I was going to shoot one of the suckers, you know?

I'm sure you were.

You didn't tell me he has a gun.

Well he just gave me that gun

because he's working nights.

What's wrong?

What's wrong is I just saw a slightly psycho man

waving his gun around his kitchen,

and I happen to be sleeping

with his wife.

It's not a very healthy scenario.

Will you relax?

I find that a difficult suggestion

under the circumstances.

He can come busting in here any minute.

I told you he's working day and night, every day

and night except for Fridays and he's gone now.

So am I.

What about our story?

I'll just have to finish it wherever I'm going.

You can't finish it without me, can you?

Silly.

Jack.

Come on.

Don't leave me.

Not now.

You need me.

You're not in real danger, yet you feel it.

That's good.

You need it to write.

Danger, sex, lust. All what you said.

Yeah. Yeah.

You like that? You like that?

What about this?

Shh. Just let me enjoy it.

That's it?

What you don't like it?

Well it ends so quickly.

Okay. All right. Just give me a second here.

You had me going and then, then, then it just...

It's over.

What's wrong?

Well it doesn't just all come at once.

All right?

Could you maybe help me?

All right.

Jack, come here.

Oh, my God.

Wait, wait no.

Don't touch it.

Why?

Don't touch it because that's the answer.

It's dangerous.

It's just lying there, ominous.

Okay. Okay.

Just like a married

woman across the room

full of potential for passion,

for danger,

but if you actually touch it,

it becomes ordinary.

The thrill is gone.

And you move on to the next one.

Then he breaks the window on my car.

You want us to call the police?

No, I gotta get to my next job, and

I don't even know if I can drive the damn thing.

But not for nothing, we are a bunch of security guards right?

I mean why can't why find the son of a bitch?

We're not in the investigatory

business Walter.

We provide security.

Well ain't that ironic.

Now what happens?

Anything's possible.

Personally I think it's brilliant.

Really? That's great.

Yeah, yeah. I'll take it to my agent

first thing tomorrow.

No, tomorrow's a holiday.

I'll have to take it on Tuesday.

This is going to blow his mind.

It's the best thing I've ever written.

I might even be able to make some bucks on it.

You?

Yeah.

What about me?

You?

Well, yeah.

This is my story as much as it is yours.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about I worked on this

as hard as you did.

You gave me a germ Lilly.

A germ?

Yeah, a germ, a seed.

I'm the one who worked on it day and night.

I'm the one who carried it around in my head.

It's not, "Hey, I got an idea wham, bam, thank you ma'am."

You bastard.

I gave you more than that.

You gave me a seed Lilly.

I gave you a whole damn garden.

I, I gave you ideas when you couldn't write a thing.

I gave you the ending for God's sake.

You showed me a gun.

All right.

You showed me a stupid gun.

I'm the one who had to tell you not to touch it for God's sake.

You were going to ruin it.

So don't tell me you gave me the ending.

I mean it's not your story. All right?

So give me a break and get a life.

Jack!

Hello?

Jack.

Jack?

Jack?

Lilly!

Bitch! Open the door!

Open it up!

This must be the guy that broke

into my locker and trashed my car.

Do you recognize him?

No.

This is the guy

that was outside your window yesterday.

You sure?

Oh yes. All you Americans look alike to me,

but I recognize him anywhere.

I know the hair.

What time was this?

Yesterday...

What a world.

Walter!

Thank God you weren't home.

What happened?

- It's okay. It's okay. - Where's Chelsea?

She's upstairs at Bellino's.

Listen, I didn't want to scare you,

but there was some guy who was stalking me at work.

Some lunatic.

Oh my God.

He came up to the apartment.

He kicked in the door.

He broke it down.

I had the gun, he came running in and...

Have you ever seen this man before ma'am?

You don't gotta look at him long.

Ma'am?

I probably shouldn't be doing this,

but I checked the serial number.

It's clean.

We've got a justifiable shooting so it's yours.

Be careful.

All right.

Come on. Let's go upstairs.

Thank God I bought you this gun.

Thank God it was Columbus day and I was home.

Thank God you iron my underwears, huh?

I got a price at the Rod and Gun Shop for $200.

So, go sell it then.

I want to make a trade.

That's a $1,000 ring my friend.

I'll give you $500 plus the gun.

Nah, it's still a far cry from $1000.

Come on. It's our seventh anniversary.

I haven't even gotten her a ring yet.

And I gotta give it to her?

I tell you what it's a nice handgun though.

I bought it to protect my family while I was working nights.

It did its job.

All right, look.

In here there's a story called The Tryst , signed by the author.

It's going to be worth a lot of money because she's never

had anything published before,

and it's going to be a collector's item.

This thing any good?

Yeah it's good.

It's written by my wife, who's also the mother to my daughter.

She does all those things and this.

Okay. $600, the gun and the magazine.

You got a deal.

All right.

Listen, the story that's in here, pretty sexy.

About adultery.

I said to her, "I hope you didn't do too much research."

Happy Anniversary.

Thanks.