Original subtitles

Previously on "Faking It"...

Why don't we take this three-way back to the hotel

for some real three-way fun?

As much as I love you, I can't do this anymore.

This is just the end?

I forbid you.

You get to be happy with Felix.

Liam gets to be happy.

When is it my turn?

No eye contact.

(both) We keep the lights off.

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

Oh, hey, I thought you could use

a little post-prom pick-me-up.

I even had them do that thing

where they make a little leaf in the foam.

See?

Thanks.

I'm sorry.

I overreacted about that ridiculous threesome.

I don't know what got into me.

We both know you'd never go through with it.

Right, and why do we know that?

Because you're not that kind of girl.

Not that kind of girl.

Wow, thanks, Amy.

Coffee and slut-shaming is such a nice way to start the day.

That's not what I'm doing.

Look, the threesome happened, and it was fun.

I'd do it again, actually.

You... and Shane...

I can see that you're having trouble

wrapping your mind around this,

so let me walk you through it.

So you guys want to get this party started or what?

Don't have to ask me twice.

♪ ♪

My turn.

Okay, now you two kiss.

♪ ♪

Now I get why everyone's in love with you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, he did not say that.

Okay, maybe I exaggerated that last part.

Here's how it really went down,

if you know what I mean.

[moaning]

I'll meet you two over on the bed.

(both) Mm-hmm.

I think if I just close my eyes and pretend

you're Channing Tatum, I can do this.

[chuckles] Right back at ya.

[scoffs]

[chuckles]

Wow, I can't believe you actually did it.

Believe it.

And I have no regrets,

except for the fact that I probably

should've stretched beforehand.

I'm a little sore.

You certainly know how to make a girl feel cheap.

Last night was amazing.

I just think I should probably go back to Shane's room

before he gets home just in case he didn't...

In case he didn't what?

In case he didn't want me to sleep with you.

Please, I'm sure he could care less.

- Who wants donuts? - See?

Thanks, bromo.

I need a shower.

Last night was very aerobic.

Hmm.

Drop the act. I know you're not okay with this.

Okay, I'll admit I wasn't at first.

But this morning I realized I'm being a hypocrite.

I can't be mad at you for banging my sister

when I was up all night banging Karma.

Ooh!

You actually did it?

Oh, I did.

Multiple times.

But I can see you're having a hard time imagining it,

so let me paint you a picture.

Now you two kiss.

♪ ♪

I've always wanted to conquer a gay guy.

What? Karma did not say that.

Fine. Slight exaggeration.

Here's what she really said.

You're a really good kisser.

I'm good at lots of things.

Hmm.

Now I see. Very clear.

Oh, I'm such an idiot.

This must be making you terribly uncomfortable.

Just like you said, it would be hypocritical of me

to be upset since I had sex with your sister,

and speaking of, will you excuse me?

[laughs] We're gonna go and do it again.

This time in the shower.

And the best part was when he dipped you

and everyone started applauding.

It was just like Dirty Dancing.

Except I'm way hotter than pre-nose job Jennifer Grey.

I just think you two make a cute couple,

especially after everything Theo put you through.

Can we please talk about something else?

- I had sex. - Ooh, did it hurt?

How long did it last?

Do you feel different now?

Leila, those questions are personal.

(Lisbeth) It's okay. I want to talk about it.

I'm a woman now.

Who'd have thought I'd lose my virginity before you? Not me.

She's saving herself for someone special.

Now, tell me everything.

So as he was walking me home, we passed by the swing set,

and I'm like, "How about you push me on those swings?"

So he starts pushing me, and then we kiss.

It was so cute. Then, after we kissed...

Sure, it starts with a threesome,

and then, next thing you know,

she's a heroin addict who doesn't know she's pregnant

until she's giving birth in a dumpster.

Wow, your mind sure does go to some dark places.

You don't think you're overreacting a wee bit?

Maybe, but it's been a really tough year for her.

Her parents lost their house

after they got arrested for dealing drugs,

she and Liam broke up after his dad offered her $250,000,

and they discontinued her favorite nail color.

Oh, well, if that doesn't send her over the edge...

I'm just worried about what she's gonna do next.

It's like she's turned into a totally different person.

Okay, you know what?

You need to stop thinking about Karma.

How about we go see a real horror movie tonight

instead of the one you got in your head?

[chuckles] That sounds nice.

Why don't you come over?

My mom and Bruce are away for the weekend

trying to save their marriage.

Two feet on the floor.

Hey, Warden, is it okay if me and Amy catch a movie tonight?

Please?

- Take the car. - [laughs]

Just be home by 11:00.

- [doorbell rings] - [both chuckle]

[whistles]

Hey there, sexy, ready to score a few touchdowns?

Hey, Lauren, forget your pants?

- What's up, Lauren? - Clever, ass-face.

What the hell are they doing here?

I know, but they gave me a ride,

and it seemed rude not to invite them in.

They won't stay long, promise.

And, you know, you and I can, uh...

Mm-mm.

What's up with the himbo parade?

And that outfit?

None of your [bleep] business.

Seriously? What the [bleep]?

Karma, what are you doing here?

I'm here for the party. Duh.

Thanks for the invite, by the way.

No, we're not having a party.

No. Hey.

- Oh, hey, what's up, Amy? - Apparently you are.

It's all over Tumblr.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm a little thirsty.

- Ah. - No, no, no, no.

- No. - ♪ Shake it, shake it ♪

Okay, everybody, party's over.

I just caught someone juggling mom's gnome collection.

We are calling the police.

I'm shutting this [bleep] down.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, babe,

you can't do that.

Give her one good reason why not.

Because if you do, then they'll call your parents,

who will come home before their marriage is fixed,

and they'll get a divorce, and it'll be all your fault.

Is that what you really want?

- That's a pretty good reason. - Yeah.

[partygoers cheering]

[hip-hop music]

- [gasps] - Will you excuse me?

♪ Move your body, shake your body ♪

You've really been listening when I talk about myself.

I'm impressed.

- Ho, ho! - Yeah, dude! Oh!

Karma, what are you doing?

A body shot.

I told her that she's awesome.

- Yeah! - Okay, bye.

That looks totally unsanitary.

Relax, I'm just having fun.

You should try it.

Amy, I need to talk to you.

Uh, now.

♪ Dance, move ♪

Hey, Karma, have you seen Amy?

We're supposed to have a movie date.

Ah, I hate to break it to you,

but I think your plans have changed.

- Mm. - Hey.

Oh, I-I don't really drink.

Me neither. Until tonight.

Oh, come on.

Loosen up.

Your dad's not here to give out detentions.

Principal Turner's your dad?

Allegedly, yeah, but I haven't had a DNA test.

Better not narc on us.

I would never, trust me.

Yeah, we will.

Once you prove it.

♪ Move your body ♪

♪ ♪

- Dude. - Whoo!

Gonna get shwasted, baby.

[pop music]

♪ ♪

What am I gonna do about this?

Are you seriously asking my advice about Liam

sleeping with your sister when you slept with my best friend?

You slept with my best friend too.

No big deal.

Nothing like sleeping with a sibling.

You don't have one. You wouldn't understand.

It's a line you just don't cross.

What about Sasha?

She's innocent in all this?

Of course not. She's my sister.

If you tell her not to do something,

she only wants to do it more.

Oh, hello.

Ah, there you are.

Someone puked in our bathtub.

I am so not cleaning that up by myself.

Come on.

I am so thirsty.

You really know how to make me sweat.

I'll go get us a drink then.

- Hey, sis. - Hi.

Oh, my God. You guys are adorable.

It's so sweet how committed he is to you.

He is?

Big time. He's in it for the long haul.

It's like, put a ring on it, you know?

Look, some people may look down on this,

but that's because they're narrow-minded.

You know, don't worry about the six-year age difference.

Don't worry that you're a teacher screwing a student.

And whatever you do, don't regret leaving Jake,

a super-hot Navy SEAL for a runaway teenager.

Just, you know, enjoy this moment, hmm?

Oh, my God.

What have I done?

Jake.

Jake, please pick up.

Jake, please pick up. Jake?

[scoffs] Looks like she's having second thoughts.

Ooh, I was so hoping that would work out.

Oh, for me?

Ugh, this is disgusting.

Who did this?

Apparently all they eat are lentils.

It could be anybody.

This never would've happened

if you hadn't gotten back together with Tommy.

I can't believe you were gonna have sex with him tonight.

I still am.

And that's none of your business.

We're sisters... or the closest thing

either of us has to one.

You can talk to me.

Lisbeth lost her virginity before me.

It's humiliating.

And Tommy's changed.

He really feels bad for what he did.

And this has nothing to do with your breakup with Theo?

I hoped my first time would be with him.

But now that's not happening,

so I can either wait until I fall in love again

and possibly become a spinster or get it over with.

Are you listening to yourself?

It sounds like you're getting your wisdom teeth removed.

Don't you want your first time to be special?

Said the girl who lost her virginity

to her best friend's boyfriend.

I'll let you finish this.

Uh...

Get out!

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Please don't hurt me. Sorry.

The only one having sex in my bed is me!

Ugh!

Oh!

Oh, my God. I am so Sorry.

Chill, it's no big deal.

Just take the jacket.

I don't think your girlfriend would like it.

Mm, or should I say woman friend?

Senior mistress?

You sound jealous.

[scoffs]

The only people I'm jealous of are the ones dancing.

Bye.

♪ I just want to get freaky in the morning ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[indistinct chatter]

[all cheering]

(all) Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!

Felix?

Excuse me, guys.

So everybody found out I was the principal's son.

So I had to start acting cool. Is it working?

I'm a horrible judge of what's cool.

And I'm so sorry our date got derailed.

Oh, hey, it's okay. We're here now.

Let's just mock the hell out of these people.

I'd love to.

I would start with the drunk girl dancing on the table.

What a cautionary tale.

- Whoo! - Karma?

Karma. Take that.

Why is everyone freaking out?

They're just nipples.

Everyone's got 'em.

Karma, get down, you're...

What? Not that kind of girl?

[sighs] Jeez, Amy, I'm just having fun.

Stop being such a wet blanket.

I'm just looking out for you.

Yeah, well, I didn't ask you to.

Fine, you and your nipples are on your own.

- Just the way we like it! - [all cheer]

Hey. [sighs]

So sorry about that, but I promise,

no more babysitting Karma.

So shall we commence with the mocking?

You want to hang with me now?

You see, that's probably not a good idea 'cause I'm drunk

and I am bound to say something stupid like how much I like you.

I like you too.

Yeah, but you see, it's not the same, you know,

'cause ever since prom, all I can think about is our kiss,

but all you seem to think about is Karma.

- Felix, that's not true. - Amy.

We have to talk about Karma. She's out of control.

I know, but I don't know what to do,

unless you have some tranquilizer darts handy.

Do you?

Oh, wait. I'm sorry.

Oh, damn it. Could this night get any worse?

It just did.

That [bleep].

I can't believe you'd show your face here.

Yeah, dick move. You should really go.

Trying to up last night's threesome to a foursome?

You had a threesome last night?

Honey bear, it... it didn't happen.

- Yeah, right. Okay. - Yeah, okay, sure.

No, really, you guys. There... there was no threesome.

Here's what went down.

Okay. Now you two kiss.

♪ ♪

I can't do this.

I was just doing this to prove that I'm over my ex,

but...

turns out I'm not.

I'm so sorry.

I got to go.

That was the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

I love you so much.

[both moaning]

(both) Excuse me.

Oh.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Babe.

What about the party?

Who's gonna watch the keg and, like, maintain the vibe?

I don't give a [bleep] about the vibe.

We are doing it right now.

I can't.

Why not?

You were always begging me for it before.

Then you found out the truth about me.

Babe.

You planned this whole party

just to avoid having sex with me?

I'm sorry, I-I'm just a little freaked out.

Because I'm a freak.

[grunts]

[indistinct chatter]

This party is over. Get out!

Why the [bleep] did you lie to me?

Excuse me?

I know you didn't have the threesome.

Why would you say you had sex with Karma when you didn't?

Revenge, duh.

For that small little thing you did, sleeping with my sister.

We only had sex 'cause I thought

you were gonna sleep with Karma.

- But I didn't. - But you were gonna.

It's irrelevant.

Even if I had, sleeping with Sasha is so much worse.

Oh, and what makes it worse?

She's my sister!

The one person I've ever asked you to stay away from.

God, it just goes to show you can never trust a Booker.

Hey, you know how you're always wondering

if you're a bad person?

You are.

Who the [bleep] is Liam Booker?

[hard rock music]

Jake, no.

Uh, hey, man.

How dare you take advantage of my girl

when she was in a vulnerable spot?

Hey, man, don't worry.

I only had sex with her to piss Shane off.

Kick his ass.

[partygoers chattering]

I'll let go if you drop this and leave.

Okay, okay, okay. Uncle.

Uncle, uncle.

You disgust me.

Come on, babe.

Hey.

Thanks for having my back.

I don't.

Find a new place to stay tonight.

(all) Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!

Karma.

Mm.

Not interested, Mom.

Why did you lie to me?

I know you didn't go through with the threesome.

Only because Wade chickened out.

And why do you care?

It's not like I'm grilling you about whether or not

you slept with Felix.

(Lauren) Get the [bleep] out!

Do you have a crush on Felix?

Is that what this is about?

What? No.

You started acting weird after I asked him to prom.

I thought he asked you.

So did you really want to go to prom with him,

or did you just not want to go with me?

- Both. - [scoffs]

Typical Amy. Can't make up her mind.

[gasps]

[screams]

[laughs]

Karma?

Karma, do you need help?

Karma!

[both coughing]

I'm sorry.

That last thing I said was a low blow.

I'm sorry too.

I just don't understand what's going on with you.

Well, that makes two of us.

You're moving on, and so is Liam,

and I'm still here.

Sad, lonely, homeless Karma.

And I didn't want to be her anymore.

I thought that I would be Karma who dates bi guys

and has threesomes and gets drunk at parties.

You left out "shows everyone her nipples."

That part was oddly freeing.

[both chuckle]

Look, I know things are hard for you right now,

but I just don't understand why you're always trying

to be someone else when...

the real you is so fantastic.

Well, when you say it, I almost believe it.

Then I'll keep saying it.

You're the best friend ever.

(boy) Whoa, are you seeing this?

[indistinct chatter]

(boy) Yo, they're back together.

[chuckles]

Whoo!

[tires screech, crash]

Felix!

I made it home. Two minutes to spare.

Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com