Original subtitles

STUDENTS:[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

SPINNER:COME ON, DEGRASSI,

AND DUNK THE DORK!

LINUS: HEY...

WANNA TRY YOUR LUCK?

IT'S ONLY A BUCKA BALL.

YOU'RE TELLING ME I GETTO THROW BALLS AT HIM

FOR CHARITY?

YEAH.

COME ON, WHY NOT?

OKAY.I'LL TRY MY LUCK.

HERE'S FIVE.

THANK YOU.

YEP.

SPINNER:SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT, JIMMY!

YES!FIRST TIME TODAY!

WON'T BE THE LAST.

WELL, THAT WAS FUN.

I'M IN A CHARITABLE MOOD,SO HOW ABOUT TEN MORE?

I THINK SPINNERNEEDS A BREAK.

I THINK GAVINIS FINE.

OKAY.I'M JUST WARMING UP.

NO, JIM, LOOK.HE'S FREEZING.

I KNOW YOU HATE THE GUY, OKAY?

BUT TODAY,JUST CUT HIM SOME SLACK.

FINE.WHATEVER.

THANKS, MAN, EH?

YOU SAVED MY BUTT.

LATER, SPINNER.

? Whatever it takes

? I know I can make it through

? If I hold out

? I know I can make it through

? Be the best

? Be the best I can

? And I say to you

? Whatever it takes

? I know I can make it

? I know I can make it

? I know I can make it through

SPINNER:GIRLS, COULD I INTEREST YOU

IN THIS INTERESTING PAMPHLETABOUT JESUS?

PAIGE: UM...SPINNER?

MAY I SUGGEST METHADONE

TO UH... KICKTHE CHRISTIAN HABIT?

IT'S NOT A HABIT,PAIGE.

THIS IS FOR LIFEAND BEYOND.

DANNY: WITHOUT YOUR SHOES AND YOU'RE YOUR PURSE?

I'D SAY...MMMMM....

140?

MAYBE IF I WAS CARRYINGAN ENTIRE 8-YEAR-OLD!

THE SIGN SAYS "GUESS".

I GUESSED.

DEREK,YOUR FRIEND'S AN IDIOT.

I'M AWARE.

SO, HOW MINUSCULEARE YOU?

DON'T ASK.

HEY!

THESE ARE FOR MOM.

DARN YOU

AND YOUR WHOLE "MAKE SPIKEFEEL BETTER" CAMPAIGN.

TODAY, I NEED ALL THE HELPI CAN GET.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERTHIRD WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

BUT I'VE GOTA SURPRISE LATER

THAT'S REALLY GONNAMAKE HER HAPPY.

MALE STRIPPERS...

DROPPING ITLIKE IT'S HOT?

OH YEAH,OH YEAH.

OKAY, I THINK REMOVING YOUFROM PUBLIC

IS A GOOD IDEAFOR US ALL.

MARCO:SAFER SEX SEMINAR.

SAFER SEX.

OH, HEY, TOBY.SAFER SEX SEMINAR.

CHECK IT OUT.

WE'RE GIVING OUTFREE CONDOMS.

OOH,I'M IN.EXACTLY.

SAFER SEX!

ELLIE: OKAY, I CANNOT BELIEVE

FRIENDSHIP CLUB BRAINWASHED SPINNER.

JIMMY: THERE'S NOT MUCH BRAIN TO WASH-

MARCO: GUYS, THEY DON'T BRAINWASH.

THEY'RE TOO BUSY SINGINGAND PRAYING AND STUFF.

ELLIE:TOM-AY-TO, TOM-AH-TO.

RELIGION IS SO BORINGAND LAME.

HELLO?CATHOLIC OVER HERE.

UM... MARCO?YOU'RE GAY.

AND THEREFOREI CAN'T BE CHRISTIAN?

ALL I'M SAYING IS,

THE CHURCH?

NOT TOO BIG ON THE GAYS.

WELL, THINGS ARE GOINGTO CHANGE.

IT JUST-IT TAKE TIME.

WHATEVSKIS.

KIM:WE JUST MADE $860.00,

AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU,SPIN.

THIS IS GONNA PUT FOODIN A LOT OF HUNGRY MOUTHS.

YOU SO ROCK.

"LET YOUR LIGHT SHINEBEFORE MEN;

THAT THEY MAY SEEYOUR GOOD DEEDS."

MATTHEW 5:16.

I'M PROUD OF YOU,SPIN.

ALL I HAD TO DOWAS GET WET.

THAT'S A REALLYSMALL PRICE TO PAY

TO HELP STARVING KIDS.

STILL...

YOU DID A GREAT THINGFOR CHARITY,

AND YOU MADE FRIENDSHIP CLUBLOOK GOOD.

YOU'RE THE MAN.

HEY...CALL YOU LATER?

ALL RIGHT.

[MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING]

SPINNER: HEY...

HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING,

BUT UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOINGSITTING HERE

LIKE LITTLE BOY BLUE?

I MEAN WHERE'REALL YOUR PEOPLE?

WELL...

JIMMY AND ELLIE ARE DOINGTHIS ART THING LIKE 24/7.

PAIGE AND ALEX...

PAIGE AND ALEXHAVE MORPHED INTO PALEX.

AND CRAIG'S IN VANCOUVER PURSUING FAME AND FORTUNE.

AND I'M HERE,PURSUING BOREDOM.

SUCKS, MAN.

UM LISTEN...

IF YOU WANT TO,

WE COULD POSSIBLY,MAYBE... HANG OUT?

OR NOT.

YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.

HEY!

YOU STILL LIKESTUPID MOVIES?

DUDE, THE STUPIDERTHE BETTER.

EMMA:COME ON, MOM.A LITTLE LESS VACUUM,

A LITTLE MORE HAPPY!

BROWNIES,THEY'RE HAPPY-MAKING.

NOT THAT I DON'TAPPRECIATE THE EFFORT,

BUT I'M FINE,REALLY.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

EMMA:YOU WANT EFFORT?GO OPEN THE DOOR.

SURPRISE!

CAITLIN!

ALL THE WAY FROM L.A.,DARLING.

YOU LITTLE SNEAK!

YOU DIDN'T TELL MESHE WAS COMING!

WELL, WHERE'STHE SURPRISE IN THAT?

MARCO: I CAN'T BELIEVE

WE JUST PAID MONEYTO SEE THAT MOVIE.

WHAT?

CLOWN ACADEMY IIROCKED, MAN.

I MEAN, YOU GOT...

SEXY CLOWNS,CAR CHASES,

EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA.

WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANTIN A MOVIE?

WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE

YOUR TASTE IN MOVIESHASN'T CHANGED.

WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE

YOUR TASTE IN FASHION HASN'T CHANGED.

DOES THE GAY SUPERHEROKNOW YOU TOOK HIS BELT?

MARCO:MAN,

YOU HAVE NOT CHANGEDAT ALL.

EXCEPT FOR THE HAIR.

AND UH...THANK GOD FOR THAT.

FUNNY.

SO...SPINNER,

OKAY, I HAVE TO ASK YOUSOMETHING.

FRIENDSHIP CLUB.

NOW WHAT IS THE DEALWITH THAT?

ALL RIGHT.

BEGINNING OF THE YEAR,

MY OLD FRIENDS DIDN'TWANT TO KNOW MY NAME.

BUT FRIENDSHIP CLUB WELCOMED ME WITH OPEN ARMS.

THEY...THEY'RE LIKE A FAMILY.

IT MUST'VE SUCKEDFOR YOU.

THE WHOLE GANG JUSTSHUNNING YOU ALL YEAR.

IT'S WATER OVERTHE BRIDGE, MAN.

BESIDES, I'M NOT COMPLAINING,

AS LONG ASYOU AND I ARE COOL.

RIGHT.

WE'RE COOL.

THANKS FOR THE VISIT.

IT HELPS.

SO HOW ARE YOU?FOR REAL?

WHAT'S GOING ONWITH YOU AND SNAKE?

WELL, I'M NOTGONNA WAIT AROUND

WHILE HE CONTEMPLATESHIS NAVEL,

TRYING TO FIGURE OUTTHE MEANING OF LIFE.

HERE'S TO MOVING ON.

TO MOVING ON.

AND TO THE BESTNON-ANNIVERSARY PARTY EVER.

MY BEST FRIEND,MY GIRLS,

BROWNIES, WINE.

WHAT MORECOULD I ASK FOR?

A BUFF GUYIN A G-STRING

DROPPING ITLIKE IT'S HOT, HUH?

SIMPSON: HELLO!

ANYBODY HOME?

CAITLIN, HEY!

NICE OF L.A. TO SEND US UPSOME SUNSHINE!

HI ARCHIE.

YOU CAN'T JUSTBARGE IN HERE ANYTIME.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S JUST UM...

I ORDERED THIS FOR YOUMONTHS AGO

FOR OUR...

YOU KNOW.

I THOUGHT MAYBEYOU SHOULD HAVE IT.

I'LL JUST...I'LL LEAVE THIS HERE.

SPIKE: SAPPHIRE.

MY BIRTHSTONE.

IT'S PERFECT.

IT'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.

PERFECT.

LINUS:HEY, I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL

FOR COMING INSO EARLY THIS MORNING,

BUT UM...

WE HAVE A SERIOUS ISSUEAT HAND.

I'M DISGUSTED...

THAT THE SCHOOL WOULD LETMARCO DEL ROSSI RUN THIS.

DARCY:BUT THE SCHOOL PROMOTESSAFER SEX.

PLEASE.

EVERYONE KNOWS SAFER SEX

IS JUST CODEFOR PROMISCUOUS SEX.

LINUS: "JUST SAY YES TO SAFER SEX."

WHAT IS THIS?

THERE'S NO MENTIONOF ABSTINENCE AT ALL.

SPINNER:YEAH, BUT ISN'T THERE,

LIKE, FREEDOM OF SPEECHOR WHATEVER?

YOU'RE RIGHT,THERE IS.

HE'S FREE TO TALKABOUT IMMORAL SEX

AND WE'RE FREETO TRY TO STOP HIM.

OKAY, LOOK, MARCO...HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.

AND THAT'S WHYWE'VE NOMINATED YOU

TO TALK HIM INTO CALLING THIS OFF.

WHO'S WE?

DARCY:I DIDN'T VOTE FOR THIS.

I THOUGHT THIS CLUB WAS ABOUTTOLERANCE AND RESPECT.

OH, WHAT ABOUT LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF?

LINUS: WE BELIEVE THAT.

BUT WE ALSO BELIEVEIN ABSTINENCE,

AND CONDOMS MAKE KIDSHAVE SEX.

DARCY...

THIS SEMINAR GOES AGAINSTOUR VALUES.

OKAY?WE HAVE TO STOP IT,

AND SPINNER'S OUR MAN.

SPINNER: DON'T BE SO SURE.

MARCO WILL FREAK.

LOOK, ARE YOU WITH USOR NOT?

MORNING,

FELLOW MEMBERS OF THE WORSTCHEER-UP SQUAD EVER.

EMMA:WHERE'S OUR VICTIM?

SHE WENTTO THE SALON EARLY.

PROBABLY TO SWALLOW DYE.

BUT I'M BRAINSTORMING

ON HOW TO GIVETHE CHEER-UP SQUAD

A MAJOR COMEBACK.

[WHISPERING]MALE STRIPPER.

CAITLIN: SO FAR, I'VE GOT UH...

GIRL MOVIE MARATHON,

CRAFT NIGHT,

FACE PAINTINGAND COTTON CANDY.

YEAH, I KNOW,I GOT NOTHIN'.

I'VE GOT AN IDEA!

HOW ABOUT WE GETA MALE STRIPPER?

WOULD YOU SHUT UPALREADY?!

THERE'S NO WAY SHE COULD KEEPA STRAIGHT FACE THROUGH THAT.

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!

GREAT IDEA?

CAITLIN:GET ME THE YELLOW PAGESAND THE PHONE.

WE ARE HAVING A PARTY!

WOO!

CAITLIN: OH, YES!

SPINNER: UH, I-I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.

DO YOU HAVE A SEC?

NAH, SPIN.NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME.

OKAY, BUT JUSTTHIS SEMINAR,

YOU THINK MAYBEIT'S A BIT MUCH?

WHAT EXACTLYIS A BIT MUCH?

MAN, YOU GUYS ARE GIVINGOUT CONDOMS.

YEAH. WE'RE PROMOTINGSAFER SEX.

DON'T DO IT.

EXCUSE ME?

JUST CANCEL THE SEMINAR,OKAY?

WHAT?!

SPIN, GIVE ME...

GIVE MEONE GOOD REASON WHY?

CONDOMS MAKE KIDSHAVE SEX, MAN.

OH... WHOA...

WOW, THAT'S RETARDED.

WHERE DID YOU GETTHAT FROM, HUH?

SOME STUPID PAMPHLET?

HEY, I DIDN'T WANNA GET NASTY,

BUT WHAT YOU'RE DOINGIS IMMORAL, MARCO.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOUTO SAY THAT, SPIN?

DUDE, IT'S IN THE BIBLE.

THIS IS WRONG, OKAY?

THIS IS SIN.

WOW.JIMMY WAS SO RIGHT.

I SHOULD'VE NEVERGIVEN YOU SECOND CHANCE.

HATZILAKOS: RIGHT.

I APPROVED THE EVENT. SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

THEY'RE GIVING OUT CONDOMS,MS. H.

IT'S GOING TO MAKE KIDSRUN OUT AND HAVE SEX.

GIVING OUT CONDOMSDOES NOT MAKE KIDS HAVE SEX.

YOU TWO ARE AWARE THATSOME TEENAGERS HAVE SEX.

LINUS:AND SOME DON'T.

WE BELIEVEIN ABSTINENCE.

HATZILAKOS: WELL, NOT EVERY TEENAGER DOES.

WE HAD A GONORRHEA OUTBREAKIN THE SCHOOL LAST YEAR

SO IF GIVING OUT CONDOMSHELPS AVOID IT,

THEN I'M ALL FOR IT.

MS. HATZILAKOS,

PLEASE,CANCEL THIS THING.

IT'S-IT'S WRONG.

I'M AFRAIDWE DON'T SEE EYE TO EYE

AND I'M NOT CANCELLING IT.

I THOUGHT YOU WEREA GOOD CHRISTIAN.

YOU'RE ON VERY THIN ICERIGHT NOW, GAVIN.

DON'T MAKE ME REGRET

LETTING YOU BACKINTO THIS SCHOOL.

HEY, EVERYBODY.

JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THATTHE SAFER SEX SEMINAR

WILL BE HELD TODAYAFTER SCHOOL IN THE GYM.

SO IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS....

SPINNER:I TRIED TO STOP HIM.

I REALLY DID.

SO MUCH FOR HELPING YOU.

SPINNER, THIS ISN'TABOUT HELPING ME.

OKAY? IT'S ABOUTRIGHT AND WRONG.

WHAT DO YOU THINKMS. HATZILAKOS WOULD DO

IF WE WENT ON THERE

AND TOLD EVERYONEWHAT WE BELIEVED?

MS. ANTI-CHRISTIAN.

IT'S LIKE WE'RETHE BAD GUYS.

'CAUSE THE SYSTEMIS AGAINST US.

WELL, I'M SICK OF IT.

THAT'S THE SPIRIT, BRO.

WE GOTTA TAKETHIS SCHOOL BACK,

MAKE IT SAFEFOR THE NORMAL PEOPLE.

"NO SEX IS SAFE SEX?"

YEAH. WE'RE FIGHTING BACK,ME AND LINUS.

IT'S A BIT EXTREME,DON'T YOU THINK?

SO YOU WANT MARCOGIVING OUT CONDOMS?

NO,NOT REALLY,

BUT HE HAS THE RIGHT TO.

YEAH, THAT'S WHATMS. HATZILAKOS SAID.

SO...

SO I DON'T ANSWER TO HER, 'KAY?

I ANSWER TO SOMEONEA LOT HIGHER.

WHO? LINUS?

HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO LINUS?

I MEAN REALLY LISTENEDTO HIM?

HE'S GOT A LOT OF VIEWS-

YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULDJUST STAY OUT OF THIS,

OKAY?

FINE.

WHOA!

SEMINAR'S STARTING.

YOU READY?

SPINNER:YEAH, I'M READY.

BOY: CHOOSE ABSTINENCE!

GIRL: ABSTINENCE IS THE ANSWER!

SPINNER:ABSTINENCE EQUALS SAFE SEX!

NO! SHHHH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?ARE YOU OUT OF YOU MIND?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE,WITH SIGNS?

WE HAVE THE RIGHTTO PROTEST.

LIKE YOU HAVE THE FAINTEST IDEAWHAT YOU'RE PROTESTING.

WE'RE JUST TRYINGTO EDUCATE PEOPLE.

YOU'RE PROMOTINGPROMISCUITY.

YOU'RE PROMOTINGSTUPIDITY.

ELLIE:YOU THINK IT'S BETTER THATPEOPLE HAVE UNWANTED BABIES?

I THINK IT'S BETTERPEOPLE DON'T HAVE SEX

UNLESS THEY'RE MARRIED.

STOP! LOOK,JUST LEAVE US ALONE.

GO HOME, GO TO CHURCH,DO WHATEVER.

WHY DON'T YOU TRYGOING TO CHURCH?

I DO,EVERY SUNDAY.

AND THEY LET YOU IN?

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSEDTO MEAN?

LINUS: I THINK YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS.

THE BIBLE IS CLEARABOUT SEXUAL DEVIANCY.

WHAT?!WHO IS THIS BIGOTED FREAK?

LINUS: SO I'M A FREAK.

IT'S BETTERTHAN BEING A HOMO.

SPINNER: WHOA, WHOA...

GUYS, TAKE IT EASY.

NO SPINNER,SHUT UP!

YOU AND YOUR FRIEND,JUST GO TO HELL.

SO WE CAN VISIT YOU,FAG?

TIM: COME ON, STOP! STOP!

DON'T LET THEM CORRUPT YOU,SPINNER.

IT'S WHAT THEY DO.

LINUS, IF I WERE YOU,

I WOULD START WALKING,NOW.

LIZ:FINALLY, WE GET TO FIND OUTWHAT'S FOR DINNER?

WHAT'S THE SURPRISE?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

SPIKE:WITH CAITLIN IN CHARGE,WHO KNOWS?

IT'LL BE ELEGANTAT ANY RATE.

CAITLIN:DINNER IS SERVED!

[CHEERING]

SPIKE:THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!

MANNY:TRY THE DYNAMITE ROLLS.

EMMA:I HEAR THEY'RE DYNAMITE!

CAITLIN:I HOPE EVERYONE'S HUNGRY

BECAUSE DESSERTIS THEIR SPECIALTY!

WOMAN: TAKE IT OFF!

[CHEERING]

SORRY,

DO YOU NOT LIKE CHOCOLATE?

SPIKE:NO, I LOVE CHOCOLATE.

YOU JUST LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY.

MY HUSBAND.

THERE,IT'S ON THE HOUSE,

FOR STILL HAVING ANYTHINGTO DO WITH ME.

I'M GETTING USEDTO FORGIVING YOU.

IF ONLY MY BEST FRIENDCOULD SEE IT LIKE THAT.

YOU SHOULD GO OVER THERE.

IT'S LIKE WALKINGINTO THE LION'S DEN.

DARCY: COME ON, SPIN.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?

SPINNER:UH, MARCO...

I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW,

I AM NEVER TALKINGTO LINUS AGAIN, OKAY?

EITHER HE'S OUTOF THE FRIENDSHIP CLUB

OR I AM.

MARCO: SPIN, YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT,

CAUSE REALLY,

I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT YOUAND YOUR STUPID CLUB.

I'M NOT LIKE HIM,OKAY?

SPINNER,THIS IS NOT THE TIME.

SPINNER:NO, IT'S NEVER GOINGTO BE THE TIME!

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

JIMMY, SHUT UP!

MARCO,I AM NOT HOMOPHOBIC.

YOU KNOW THAT, OKAY?

ALL I EVER WANTED TO DOWAS BE YOUR FRIEND AGAIN.

I SCREWED IT UP, OKAY?

AND I AM REALLY,REALLY SORRY.

I FEEL TERRIBLE.

IN THIS CASE,TERRIBLE IS GOOD.

I MEAN, YOU SAID YOUAND SNAKE ARE OVER.

YOU NEED TO STARTDEALING WITH THAT.

I CAN'T.

YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE,HON.

YOU SAID THE RELATIONSHIPIS OVER.

NOT FOR ME.

CAITLIN...

I'M STILL IN LOVEWITH HIM.

[CRYING]

SPINNER...

YOU REALLY ARE LOST,AREN'T YOU?

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