Original subtitles

? BUT SOMEBODY BETTER STOP ME

? 'CAUSE MY FEETDON'T TOUCH THE GROUND ?

JIMMY: [PLAYS SOLO]

? I CAN'T KEEP MY HANDSOFF OF YOU ?

JIMMY:[PLAYS SOLO]

CRAIG: ? I CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS OFF OF YOU ?

ALL RIGHT, STOP.STOP.

JIMMY...

LOOK, UNLESS YOURLAST NAME IS HENDRIX

AND YOU'VE COME BACK TO ROCK US FROM THE GRAVE,

NO SOLOS WHILE I'M SINGING.

WE'RE NEVER GONNA GETA WEDDING JOB.

CRAIG: NO. NO, WE WILL.

AND-AND-AND EVERY CENT WE EARNWE'LL SPEND ON RECORDING GEAR.

WE'LL BE ABLE TO CUTOUR OWN RECORD.

[SCOFFS] LOOK,

THE MUSIC YOU HAVE US PLAYINGIS LAME.

AND WEDDING BANDSARE LAME.

ERGO,YOU'RE LAME.

CRAIG:NO, YOUR FUNK GUITAR IS LAME.

[ARGUING]

[CYMBALS REVERBERATE]

OKAY, OKAY.WHAT'S LAME

IS SITTING AROUNDAND CRITICIZING.

UNLESS YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA.

WEDDINGS ARE GIGS,I GUESS.

[HORN BEEPS]

THAT'S MY DAD.

UH YEAH,JIMMY,

IS IT COOLIF I GET A RIDE WITH YOU?

YEAH.

THANKS FOR BACKING ME UP,EL.

I LIKE PLAYING WITH YOU.

THE BAND, I MEAN.

I'VE REALLY LEARNED A LOT.

WELL, IT SHOWS.

YOUR DRUMMING'S TIGHT.

NOT ON THAT LAST NUMBER.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, LET ME GIVE YOUA LITTLE LESSON

IN FUNK DRUMMING.

IN FUNK,

IT'S ALL ABOUTTHE ACCENT BEAT.

SO IT'S LIKE...[IMITATES BEAT]

[DRUMMING]

YOU GOT IT.YOU GOTTA FEEL IT.

? Whatever it takes

? I know I can make it through

? If I hold out

? I know I can make it through

? Be the best

? Be the best I can

? And I say to you

? Whatever it takes

? I know I can make it

? I know I can make it

? I know I can make it through

JOEY:WELL, THERE ARE A FEW OPTIONSIN YOUR PRICE RANGE.

THERE'S THIS LITTLE BABYRIGHT HERE.

IT'S GOT STYLE,PERFORMANCE.

IT'S AN ALL-IN-ONECOOL LITTLE PACKAGE.

DIANE:MY EX-BOYFRIEND SAID ISHOULDN'T BUY AN IMPORT.

JOEY:WELL, I HAVE TO QUESTIONTHE WISDOM OF ANY MAN

STUPID ENOUGH TO LET YOU GO.

THE MAN'S OBVIOUSLY A FOOL.

DIANE: NO, I AM.

I'M THE ONE WHO PUT HIS BAND UP

TO PLAY MY SISTER'SWEDDING THIS WEEKEND

BEFORE HE DUMPED ME

AND FELL OFF THE FACEOF THE EARTH.

SO YOU'RE LOOKINGFOR A WEDDING BAND?

UH, I HAVE A BAND.

WE CAN DO WEDDINGS.

DIANE,THIS IS CRAIG.

HE'S A MUSICIAN,CAR-HOP,

AND SHAMELESSSELF-PROMOTER.

I SWEAR, EVERY OTHER BANDIN THE CITY IS BOOKED.

I'M SCRAMBLING.

WELL, IF IT'S ALL RIGHTWITH YOU,

YOU COULD COME BY THE HOUSETOMORROW NIGHT.

YOU CAN GET THE BANDTO AUDITION FOR YOU

AND I CAN TALK YOUINTO AN IMPORT.

OVER A GLASS OF WINE?

UH, YEAH.

IT'S A DEAL.

I'LL CALL YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

WHO'S THE MAN?!

YOU ARE, JOEY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

CRAIG: WHAT'RE THE ODDS?

JUST WHEN WE NEEDOUR FIRST GIG,

THIS GIRL WALKS RIGHTONTO THE LOT.

IT'S LIKE SOMEONE UP THEREWANTS US TO PLAY A WEDDING.

THE GODOF MEDIOCRITY?

"DOWNTOWN SASQUATCH,

GO FORTH AND PLAYTHE CHICKEN DANCE."

[LAUGHING]

RIGHT?

SO,THE OTHER NIGHT,

YOU AND ELLIE...?

WHAT?WE REHEARSED SOME MORE.

WE DID SOMEHARDCORE FUNKING.

YOU DO HEAR THE WORDSCOMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?

WHATEVER.

WE HUNG OUT,WE WATCHED A DVD.

OKAY,WHICH ONE?

"CRAIG INTENTIONS"?

"HOW CRAIG GOTHIS GROOVE BACK"?

90 PERCENT OF MY ISSUESIN LIFE -

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS.

TRUE.

SO THIS YEAR,I'M A MONK.

JUST SCHOOLAND THE BAND.

NO DISTRACTIONS,NO DRAMA.

GOOD.WELL, GOOD THING

YOU PUT THE CUTEST GIRLIN SCHOOL ON DRUMS.

MAYBE YOU DIDN'THEAR ME.

[LAUGHING]

NO DISTRACTIONS,EH BUD?

JT: LIBERTY? WAIT UP.

HOW HAVE YOUBEEN FEELING?

ARE STILL REPULSED BYTHE CONCEPT OF BREAKFAST?

ARE YOU EVER GONNATALK TO ME AGAIN?

OKAY, WHATEVER.IF THERE'S SOMETHINGI CAN DO FOR YOU,

ANYTHING AT ALL,I'LL DO IT.

YOU COULD MANGLEYOUR MALE PARTS

IN A TRAGIC INDUSTRIALACCIDENT.

MANNY:HEY SPINNER. DARCY.

PETER:HEY MANNY,HAVE A SEAT.

CAN'T WE JUST CALL ITWATER UNDER THE BRIDGE?

MY MOTHER'S HAD MEON LOCKDOWN FOR WEEKS.

PLEASE.

I'M NOT FINISHED.

CRAIG:I THINK YOU ARE.

YOU DON'T TALKTO HER,

YOU DON'T EVENLOOK AT HER...

EVER AGAIN,

OR YOU DEALWITH ME.

CLEAR?

CRYSTAL.

LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.

YOU OKAY?

SIMPSON'S A BIG FANOF THE MAYO.

IT'S LIKE GLOBULAR.

ARE YOU OKAYIN A BIGGER SENSE?

DIDN'T YOU SEETHE VIDEO?

YOU KNOW, ME,

LOTS OF VODKA,LITTLE CLOTHING?

NO, I DIDN'T.

I MISSED IT.

OKAY, I DID.

BUT I CLOSED ITREALLY QUICKLY.

UGGGH!PLEASE LET ME DIE.

WHO CARESTHAT I SAW IT?

I DO, OKAY?

YOU'RE YOU.

IS IT WEIRD TO SAY

THAT I WISHI WAS THERE THAT NIGHT?

TO STOP THAT FREAK FROM FILMING YOU?

NO,IT'S NOT WEIRD.

IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.

LIKE YOU'RE MY PROTECTOR.

WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR,RIGHT?

THERAPIST: SO, CRAIG, TELL US WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH YOU.

CRAIG:WELL, ELLIE AND I HAVEAN AUDITION TONIGHT

FOR A WEDDING GIG.

[APPLAUSE]

SO I'M GOOD,SO I'M FEELING GOOD.

I'M HAPPY.

YOU GUYS HAVE SEEN MEDOWN IN THE DEPTHS,

SO IT'S GOOD TO BE COMING OUTTHE OTHER SIDE

FEELING STRONG.

BUT I GOTTA SAY,I'D BE NOWHERE

WITHOUT THAT GIRLOVER THERE.

ELLIE'S JUST BEEN INCREDIBLE.

THANKS.

[APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

JOEY, THAT'S WHATYOU'RE WEARING?

MY LEISURE SUIT'SAT THE CLEANERS.

IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW,

THERE'S AN INSANELY HOT WOMAN

WHO'S GOING TO BE OVER HEREIN OH... IN 20 MINUTES.

I'M AWARE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

YOU WERE ALL OVERHER YESTERDAY.

I KNOW.

AND THEN I FOUND OUTTHAT DIANE IS 23.

I'M 34, CRAIG. WHAT AM IGONNA DO WITH A 23-YEAR-OLD?

DO YOU NEED METO DRAW A DIAGRAM?

[LAUGHS]

WHAT?AH, COME ON.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, HUH?

THAT ELLIE GIRLSEEMS KIND OF CUTE.

SHE'S CUTE.SHE'S A FRIEND.

SHE'S A FRIENDWHO HAPPENS TO BE A GIRL.

SHE'S UM...

SHE'S FRIEND-GIRL,IF YOU WILL.

JOEY: UH YEAH,

TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS -

THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING.

CRAIG:OKAY, UH...

THANKS FOR COMING DOWNTO AUDITION US, DIANE.

[AMP FEEDBACK]

WE'RE DOWNTOWN SASQUATCH.

AW!

[FUNK MUSIC]

? EVERYBODY

? GOT A SECRET

? PARTY PEOPLE

? GETTING DOWN

? BUT SOMEBODY

? LET HER STOP ME

? 'CAUSE MY FEET DON'TTOUCH THE GROUND ?

? I CAN'T KEEP MY HANDSOFF OF YOU ?

? AND THERE'S NOTHINGI CAN DO ?

? I CAN'T KEEP MY HANDSOFF OF... ?

? YOU!

DIANE:THEY'RE ALMOST TOO COOLFOR MY SISTER.

JOEY:WELL, I'M JUST HAPPYTHAT YOU WERE ABLE TO REPLACE

YOUR EX'S BAND.

[SIGHS]

I GUESS YOU MUST STILL BEREELING FROM THAT.

THE BREAKUP,I MEAN.

UH...I DON'T THINK SO.

WHO NEEDS 200 POUNDSOF IDIOT

DROOLING ON THEMALL THE TIME?

NOPE.DONE. OVER.

AND YOU CAN GET OVER SOMEONESO QUICKLY?

ALL 200 POUNDS?

JUST THE WAY I AM.

I KNOW WHAT I WANTAND I ACT ON IT.

LIFE'S TOO SHORT.

CHEERS.

OOH, GOTTA GO.

REHEARSAL DINNER.

SO NOT LOOKING FORWARDTO THIS WEDDING.

THERE NOTHING QUITESO DEPRESSING

AS BEING DATELESSIN A BRIDESMAID'S DRESS.

THANK YOU.

WELL, UH...IF YOU NEED A DATE,

I HAPPEN TO KNOW A NICE,SINGLE GUY

WHO MATCHES MOST DRESSES.

WELL, IF YOU HAPPENTO SPEAK TO HIM?

TELL HIM DIANE WANTS HIMTO BE HER DATE

AND TO CALL HER TOMORROW.

OKAY.

BYE.

[GIGGLING]

SPINNER: [ON THE PHONE]DARCE, WHAT ARE YOU DOINGON SUNDAY?

YEAH, I KNOWYOU HAVE CHURCH.

WHAT ABOUT AFTER?

NOTHING, EH?

HEY, JIMMY AND I,WE'RE GONNA JET.

SO I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

CRAIG:WAIT,

WE'RE CELEBRATING.

NO, WE'RE STUDYING.

YOU'RE CELEBRATING.

YOUR DRUM LESSON?

SO GREAT.

I JUST WANTEDTO SAY THANKS.

I SHOULD THANK YOUFOR SAVING THE BAND,

AND BACKING ME UPALL THE TIME.

WELL, I'VE HEARD YOU SAYA LOT IN GROUP

ABOUT NEEDING PEOPLE.

I THINK WE ALL DOSOMETIMES.

MANNY!

HEY, OVER HERE! JOIN US.

I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT.

ARE YOU SURE YOU GUYSDON'T WANT ANY PRIVACY?

WHO NEEDS PRIVACY?

WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE,RIGHT?

RIGHT.FRIEND CITY.

SO... CRAIGS,

ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SHAREWITH YOUR BEST FRIEND

IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

I THOUGHT ELLIEWAS YOUR BEST FRIEND.

ELLIE, ELLIE.WHO'S ELLIE?

OH, YEAH!

SHE'S THAT CUTE,SMART, FUNNY GIRL.

THE ONE YOU HAD A DATEWITH LAST NIGHT.

IT WASN'T A DATE.MONKS DON'T DATE.

IT WAS FRIENDSHANGING OUT.

MATTER OF FACT?

MY OTHER FRIEND, MANNY, JOINED US.

CUE THE ROMANTICTRAIN WRECK.

JOEY, HEY,WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, UH...

I WAS JUST GETTING THESE...UM.... UH...

BOTH:PROPHYLACTICS?

JOEY: YEAH.

YEAH, MARCO,

THAT'S EXACTLYWHAT I'M DOING.

BECAUSE, UH, WELL,YOU GOTTA BE SAFE, RIGHT?

MARCO: SURE.

JOEY: SO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT, OKAY?

NO GLOVE - NO LOVE.

EWWW.

YOU KNOW WHAT?YOU'RE KILLING ME, MAN.

THIS THING ISWAY TOO HEAVY.[WHISTLES]

NEED A HAND?

[SNEEZES]

OWWWW! MY TOE!

SORRY.

I GOT DISTRACTED.

OH, CRAIG?

CHECK IT OUT.

HI GUYS.ELLIE.

I INVITED MANNY ALONG.

I THOUGHT WE MIGHT NEEDAN EXTRA HAND.

ELLIE: YEAH, VERY PRACTICAL ROADIE COSTUME.

CRAIG:WHY?

WHY MUST THEY BE SO HOT?

MARCO:YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSEDTO FIND YOUR FRIENDS HOT.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

I'M NOT THE ONE WHO SHOWED UPLOOKING LIKE THAT.

WHAT?

YOU SAID YOU WEREGOING TO BE A MONK.

THE MONK IS TIREDOF THE MONASTERY, OKAY?

THE MONASTIC LIFEJUST WASN'T FOR HIM.

AND NOW I HAVE NO IDEAWHAT TO DO.

OKAY, IF YOU'RE HERETO DO THINGS,

YOU SHOULD DO THINGS.

THERE'S NOTHINGELSE TO DO.

UNLESS...

CRAIG LOVESMY TAMBOURINE.

YEAH.

WE DON'T NEED ANY LOW-RENTPOP TARTS IN OUR BAND.

WELL, THEY DO SAYTHERE SHOULD BE

AT LEAST ONE ATTRACTIVE GIRLIN EVERY BAND.

OH, YOU'RE NOTCALLING ME UGLY.

GIRLS, THIS IS JOEY.

JOEY, THESE ARE MY FRIENDSMIA AND KATHERINE.

HI.

DIANE: JOEY HAS HIS OWN BUSINESS.

YEAH. I'M A SALESREPRESENTATIVE

FOR PREVIOUSLYLOVED VEHICLES.

[LAUGHING]

I'M A USED CAR SALESMAN.

YOU MIGHT HAVE SEENMY COMMERCIAL:

"GIVE YOU THE SHIRTOFF MY BACK".

[LAUGHING]

NO?

CRAIG: CHECK ONE, TWO. CHECK.

[LAUGHING]

MIA:OH MY GOD,

YOU SO HAD US GOING THEREFOR A SECOND.

THE GUY IN THEJEREMIAH MOTORS ADIS SO CHEESEBALL.

[LAUGHING]

CRAIG:GOOD EVENING,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WE'RE DOWNTOWN SASQUATCH!

LET'S DANCE.

UH, NO, NO.

C'MON,IT'LL BE FUN!

JOEY: YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE ME DANCE.

? OOUUW!

[FUNK MUSIC]

? EVERYBODY

? GOT A SECRET

? PARTY PEOPLE

? GETTING DOWN

? BUT SOMEBODY

? LET HER STOP ME

? 'CAUSE MY FEETDON'T TOUCH THE GROUND ?

RELAX.DANCE WITH ME.

WHAT?

THESE ARE SOMEOF MY BEST MOVES.

[LAUGHS]

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

OH YEAH. OH YEAH.

THAT IS A GOOD ONE.

? I CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS OFF OF... ?

? YOU!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,MR. JIMMY BROOKS.

[PLAYING GUITAR]

COME ON!

MANNY:I CAN'T! I CAN'T!

CRAIG:COME ON!

YOU ARE A DANCING MACHINE,MR. JEREMIAH,

AND YOU'REWEARING ME OUT,

MY DAD'S NAMEIS MR. JEREMIAH.

I'M PARCHED.

WELL, THEN...

WHY DON'T IGET US A DRINK.

BE RIGHT BACK.

HI. CAN I GETTWO RED WINES, PLEASE.

NO, WAIT.

WHISKEY SOURSARE HIPPER.

TWO WHISKEY SOURS.

KATHERINE:UNLESS DIANE'SREBOUNDING MAJORLY,

I DON'T SEE ANY EXCUSE.

MIA: NO. I WAS TRYING TO COME UP WITH A WAY

TO DESCRIBE HIS DANCING?

ALL I COULD THINK OFWAS "SPASTIC DONKEY".

[LAUGHING]

KATHERINE:OH, WOULD SOMEONE PUTTHAT DONKEY OUT TO PASTURE!

HE'S TOTALLY ROBBINGTHE CRADLE.

MIA:NO, DIANE IS TOTALLYROBBING THE GRAVE!

DIANE, I-I'M NOT FEELING WELL.

IT JUST-IT CAME ON SUDDENLY.

DID YOU CATCHSOMETHING?

THANK YOUFOR THE DANCE.

DOWNTOWN SASQUATCH: ? STEP ON DOWN

? MOVE IT ALL AROUND

? SHAKE YOUR BODYTO THIS FUNKY SOUND ?

? STEP ON DOWN

? MOVE IT ALL AROUND

? SHAKE YOUR BODYTO THIS FUNKY SOUND ?

CRAIG: ? LISTEN TO ME

? IT'S SO GROOVY...

[BAND BEGINS TOFALL OUT OF SYNC]

[AMP AND MIC FEEDBACK]

MANNY:DID YOU JUST THROWA DRUMSTICK AT MY HEAD?

YOU COULD FEEL ITTHROUGH ALL THAT HAIRSPRAY?

AMAZING!

CRAIG:WE APOLOGIZE.

WE'RE EXPERIENCING UH, TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.

WE'LL BE BACK FOR OUR NEXT SET IN 20.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WHAT DO I DO?

OH WHOA, I'M TOO BUSYENJOYING NOT BEING YOU.

CRAIG: ELLIE, WAIT.

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?

ELLIE: YOU TELL ME.

YOU'RE THE ONEWHO CALLED HER.

YOU'RE THE ONEWHO SAT THERE

DROOLING OVER HERALL NIGHT

LIKE SOME PERV.

AND THIS?

THIS ISN'T ME.

OKAY,I DON'T DRESS UP.

I'M FLATTERED.

DON'T BE.

THIS IS FOR THE GIG.

THIS DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

ELLIE...

WE DO GROUP TOGETHER.

YOU'VE SEEN ME DOWNIN THE GUTTER.

LOWER THAN LOW -

LOWER THAN I WANTANYONE ELSE TO SEE ME.

THAT'S WHY YOU'REMY FRIEND,

MY REALLY GOOD FRIEND.

I'M SO GLADI CAN BE THERE FOR YOU.

ELLIE...

BYE.SEE YOU IN GROUP.

HEY, YOU TOOK OFFLAST NIGHT.

WHAT HAPPENED?

LET'S JUST SAYTHE DATE ENDED EARLY.

HEY, THAT'S MINE!

HOW WAS THE GIG?

CRAIG:LET'S JUST SAYTHE GIG ENDED EARLY.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

TELL YOU ABOUT ITLATER.

DIANE.

WHAT'RE YOUDOING HERE?

IN YOUR RUSH TO BAILLAST NIGHT,

YOU FORGOTYOUR HIDEOUS FAVOUR.

DON'T LAUGH.

I SPENT WEEKSMAKING THOSE NASTY THINGS.

THIS IS PRETTY HIDEOUS.

IT'S ALMOST AS BAD AS MEON THE DANCE FLOOR.

JOEY, I LIKETHE WAY YOU DANCE.

DIANA, I FEEL THE NEEDTO REMIND YOU

THAT I'M A 34-YEAR-OLDSINGLE DAD,

WHO OWNS A USED CAR LOT.

I HAVE A HOUSEI DON'T EVEN OWN-

AND I'M A 23-YEAR-OLDGIRL

WHO'S TIREDOF DATING BOYS.

A GIRL WHO WANTS A CUTE,SWEET, DEPENDABLE GUY,

WHO REALLY MAKESHER LAUGH.

A GIRL WHO ALSO MAKESA KILLER FLORENTINE OMELET.

CAN I COME IN?

AS IF IT WASN'T EMBARRASSINGENOUGH LAST NIGHT,

NOW YOU HAVE TO SEE MEWITH MY JAMMIES ON.

I'M SORRY I RUINEDYOUR GIG.

CRAIG:UH, THE SQUATCHIS CUT OUT FOR WEDDINGS.

FUNERALS, MAYBE.

DESPITE THE FREAK SHOW,

I HAD FUN.

IT WAS NICE OF YOUTO INVITE ME.

I HAD ULTERIOR MOTIVES.

EVER SINCE THATVIDEO CAME OUT,

THINGS HAVE SUCKEDFOR YOU.

SO I WANTEDTO CHEER YOU UP;

MAKE YOU SMILE AGAIN.

WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR,RIGHT?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0