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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,404
**
2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,174
Wow, you can add a layer
of cut-up hot dogs
3
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,808
to any sandwich
on the menu.
4
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,377
They call it "Doggy Style."
5
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,412
And if you don't cut up
the hot dogs,
6
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,647
they call that
"Viagra Falls."
7
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,183
These names are racy.
8
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,484
Is that coming
from corporate?
9
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,985
It tastes really good.
10
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,920
I'm not about
all that razzle-dazzle.
11
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,522
I'll be getting
turkey on bread.
12
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,023
Oh, the bread.
13
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,026
It tastes really good.
14
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,861
What are you gonna get,
Roger?
15
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,863
Dead heat
between the "Big Bad Beefer"
16
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,365
and "The Tahoe Tuna Boat."
17
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:34,135
I'm a Tuna Boat man,
but I like being sick.
18
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,869
Chime-in Guy, enough!
19
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,871
I'm talking
to my friend Stan.
20
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:40,141
Right, Stan?
Stan?
21
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,743
I see a man from my past,
Roger.
22
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,778
A man I wronged.
23
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,047
So?
I see men I wronged.
24
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,882
I also see men
I haven't wronged.
25
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,818
I see a lot of men
right now, Stan.
26
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,387
Is this a men's only
sandwich shop?
27
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,559
* Good morning, U.S.A.
28
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:02,396
* I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day *
29
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,533
* The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face *
30
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,937
* And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race *
31
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:15,209
* Oh, boy, it's swell to say
32
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,678
* Good --
* Good morning, U.S.A.
33
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:18,746
Aah!
34
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,384
* Good morning, U.S.A.
35
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,486
Stan, do you think
that guy brought that from home,
36
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,622
or do they sell Chinese food
in Ziploc bags here?
37
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:31,159
Wait, weren't you haunted
by the memory of that cashier?
38
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,426
Tommy Shuler.
39
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,362
We went to middle school
together.
40
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,730
He was a bit of an outcast,
but we were friends.
41
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,167
One Halloween,
we trick-or-treated together.
42
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,801
Ooh, spooky!
43
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,071
Trick or treat.
Trick or treat.
44
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,240
A single Tootsie Roll
for you.
45
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,709
And a single
Tootsie Roll for you.
46
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,611
And a kiss for me?
47
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,413
Man: Susan.
We talked about this.
48
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,914
They're just kids,
Gene!
49
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,683
That's my point!
50
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:56,984
Geez, Gene!
I love you,
51
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,987
but I cannot do this
every Halloween!
52
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,723
I lost one
of my finger knives.
53
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,493
You look around here.
I'll check back by Mendelsohns'.
54
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,397
Lookin' for your ween,
Shuler?
55
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,999
[ Both laugh ]
56
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:15,203
Hey, Pete.
Hey, Tic Tac.
57
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:16,870
Check out this dildo
trick-or-treating
58
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,239
all by himself.
59
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:19,907
I'm not by myself.
60
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,141
I'm with Stan.
61
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,076
No luck by Mendelsohns'.
62
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,779
Oh, no!
The Krachowski brothers.
63
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:29,149
Smith. Oh, man. Maybe there is
someone lame enough
64
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,084
to trick-or-treat
with this tool.
65
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,921
Well, how 'bout it?
You out here with Shuler?
66
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,827
What, that loser?
No way.
67
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,296
[ Sobs, sniffles ]
68
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,632
[ Crying ]
69
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,467
[ Laughter ]
Adult Stan:
I wasn't proud of myself,
70
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,502
but I was able
to save face.
71
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,404
And I actually kept
trick-or-treating.
72
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:51,572
Got a pretty good haul.
73
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,173
Made some great trades, too.
74
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:56,009
Parlayed three Almond Joys
into a Snickers.
75
00:02:56,043 --> 00:03:00,514
But there was no joy for Tommy,
Almond or otherwise.
76
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,750
He went missing in the woods
for days.
77
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,252
Roger:
That's a heavy story, Stan.
78
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,019
But can I ask...
79
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,054
why are we crawling?
80
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,289
I can't face him.
81
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,757
I ruined his life.
82
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,359
The man
works at a sub shop.
83
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,526
Well, hold on a minute.
84
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,228
This could be
a Buffett Situation.
85
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,496
What's
a Buffett Situation?
86
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,964
Warren Buffett's
a billionaire,
87
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,800
but he chooses to live
a very modest life.
88
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,503
Lives in a modest house,
listens to Modest Mouse.
89
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,971
He's a middle-of-the-road guy,
Stan.
90
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,506
Like Tommy.
91
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,941
More likely than not,
he is a Buffett Situation.
92
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,142
Case closed.
93
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,844
All right, Roger.
-Sandwich time!
94
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,513
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
95
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,981
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
96
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,850
* Ohhhh, ohhhh!
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
97
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,552
Are we maybe
celebrating too soon?
98
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:39,753
How do you mean, Stan?
99
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,289
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
100
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,856
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
101
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,025
I mean, we can't discount
the remote possibility
102
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,094
that this is not
a Buffett Situation.
103
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,662
Uch, fine.
We'll follow him
104
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,431
after he leaves work
and find out.
105
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,132
In the meantime,
let's talk about who else
106
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,067
might be
in a Buffett Situation.
107
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,304
My guess? Steve.
108
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,975
**
109
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,478
I don't need these.
Sorry I made you stop for them.
110
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:05,846
Hyundai Elantra.
111
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,248
Cheap but dependable.
Thinkin' man's car.
112
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,552
I believe the Buffett Situation
is still in play, Stan.
113
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:15,389
He just put 20 Hungry-Man
TV dinners into his cart.
114
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,625
So he must have
a massive family.
115
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,892
You're stupid, huh?
What?
116
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,561
He's shopping for one.
117
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,795
I'm starting to think
this might not be
118
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,196
a Buffett Situation
after all.
119
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,898
Oh, shit balls.
What happened?
120
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,967
I just realized I've got
a cold coming on.
121
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,669
-How do you know?
-Throat tickle.
122
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,103
Gonna grab some Airborne.
123
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,272
Yes,
I know it does nothing.
124
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,575
Oh, boy.
125
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,277
Stan: Tandem parking.
126
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,248
Both: Vertical blinds.
127
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,717
Wall-to-wall carpet.
128
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,719
Microfiber couch.
129
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,254
DVD rack.
130
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,222
DVDs.
131
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,492
Pert Plus.
The 2-In-One?
132
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,793
I've seen enough.
133
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,294
By the way,
is he deaf?
134
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,929
Hello?
135
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,765
He's not even deaf!
136
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,869
So, definitely not
a Buffett Situation.
137
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,337
There's no denying it.
138
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,573
I destroyed his life.
139
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,408
I owe Tommy an apology.
140
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:08,909
It's gonna be intense.
141
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,379
Thank God I've got you
riding shotgun, amigo.
142
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:12,780
About that, Stan...
143
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:13,947
it's official now.
144
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,983
I am 100%
about to get sick.
145
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,752
So you understand I can't
join you on this adventure.
146
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,087
But I need you.
147
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,455
I need a soundboard.
148
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,657
Who am I gonna talk
to about my internals?
149
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:27,060
Don't worry. I lined up some
great options to take my place.
150
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:29,329
First up,
your son, Steve!
151
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,664
No stranger to shame,
152
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,500
and he's got
a nice little tummy to boot.
153
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,134
[ Laughs ]
154
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,837
Like Tommy, Hayley knows
her way around a sub sandwich.
155
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,072
And talk about a killer
crossover dribble.
156
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,974
Baller! Shot caller!
157
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,810
Whoa, I made it.
158
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,513
Up next,
he's orange every day.
159
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:48,348
Klaus: Make way for Klaus!
I don't want Klaus.
160
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,619
Uh-oh.
Here comes trouble.
161
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,587
Francine!
162
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:55,589
You know her.
You love her.
163
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:58,025
And she's got
that good energy, Stan.
164
00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,393
I guess I'll take Francine.
165
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,294
You won't regret this,
Stan.
166
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,497
I'm gonna be crazy
like Roger.
167
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:06,700
Well, Roger's not just crazy.
There's a lot of nuance there.
168
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,869
He's got the heart
of a power clown.
169
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,704
Thank you
for seeing me, Stan.
170
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:13,106
I can power clown.
171
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,875
We'll have to see.
172
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:18,378
**
173
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:21,048
Tommy's waited his whole life
for this apology.
174
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,149
I need to honor that.
175
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,917
I know what'll help.
176
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,853
Forties!
177
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,054
Tommy: Can I help you?
178
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,258
The question is --
Can I heal you?
179
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,862
Excuse me?
Tommy, it's me, Stan Smith.
180
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,964
From
Frank Stallone Middle School.
181
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,867
I stand before you,
Tommy Shuler, to say
182
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,135
I'm sorry for the night
I said I wasn't
183
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,472
trick-or-treating with you,
which ruined your life
184
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,807
and turned you into the loser
you are today.
185
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,677
Done. Apologized.
So, what do you think?
186
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,613
Ah, you must have dreamed about
this moment for 1,000 times.
187
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,948
Well, it's here, Tommy.
It's real.
188
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,484
So hit me.
Do your worst.
189
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,318
Let it out.
I'm afraid...
190
00:06:58,351 --> 00:06:59,587
Don't be afraid, Tommy.
191
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,589
...I don't remember you.
192
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,356
That's right. Let it flow.
You're doing great.
193
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,925
[ High-pitched voice ] Wait,
what the fluh you just say?!
194
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,530
**
195
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,998
[ Grunting ]
196
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,600
What are you doing?
What is that?
197
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,503
Tommy doesn't remember you,
so you're off the hook.
198
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,906
I thought we could do some bong
rips, play some "Soulcalibur."
199
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,107
Wrong, Francine.
200
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,776
Tommy needs me
more than ever.
201
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:26,079
Let's try an exercise called
"What Would Roger Say?"
202
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,582
Roger would say,
"Tommy is..."
203
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,350
Gay.
Have sex with him.
204
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,585
No.
I mean -- I mean yes.
205
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,220
He -- He would
probably say that.
206
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:37,525
But Roger as Dr. Penguin
would say, "Tommy is blocked."
207
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,828
And maybe Roger would do one
of his signature quick changes.
208
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,997
Voilà!
I'm Dr. Glasses.
209
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,333
My personality. Smart.
210
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,736
Ask me a question.
What's that in your hand?
211
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,971
A Frito.
I found it down there.
212
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:56,710
Tommy was so traumatized,
he actually erased the memory.
213
00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:59,079
I need to make him
remember the past
214
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,848
so he can move forward
with his life...
215
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,616
so he can blast off
like a rocket
216
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,151
headed straight
for the moon.
217
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,053
Do you think this is
a good plan, Francine?
218
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,722
Maybe.
I'm not looking
for a yes man!
219
00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,357
[ Groans ]
220
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,859
Are you
seriously leaving?
221
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,927
I was gonna get you
some milk.
222
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:14,962
I don't like milk.
223
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,630
I like pastries.
224
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,400
Thanks for having us,
Tommy.
225
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,703
You kind of
just...showed up.
226
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,638
And you're gonna be happy
I did.
227
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,540
Do me a kindness,
fire me up a Hungry-Man.
228
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,742
Kitchen's just past
the Ficus.
229
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,911
-Can I help her with s--
-Let's focus on you.
230
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,880
Bottom line --
You're blocked, brother,
231
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:35,448
and you'll never escape
this humdrum loser life
232
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,951
of Pert Plus 2-In-1 until
you remember what happened.
233
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,620
Have you been here before?
234
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,723
Luckily I brought brought visual
aids to jog the old noodle.
235
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:46,226
Wondering what lies
beneath this 1980s raincoat?
236
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,561
Ba-boom!
237
00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:50,263
My old Umbro shorts
and Hypercolor tank.
238
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,732
Still works.
Put your hand on it.
239
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,466
It'll change colors.
240
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,404
You broke my shirt, Tommy.
241
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,772
You owe me a new one.
242
00:08:58,806 --> 00:08:59,807
What's this?
243
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,308
Our old scrapbook?
244
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,043
We'd be crazy not
to take a look.
245
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,144
[ Fabric tears ]
246
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,512
Don't look down, Tommy.
247
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,980
My shorts ripped,
and my dick popped out.
248
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,116
Francine! You were right
about the shorts.
249
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,851
Snag me the hand towel
with the cherries
250
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,352
on it
from the linen closet.
251
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,288
She should be here soon.
252
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,825
Whoa!
Look at these bad boys!
253
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:18,859
Okay, yeah.
254
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,127
Now I remember.
255
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,829
Stand up.
256
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,064
I release you,
Tommy Shuler.
257
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,599
Now go change your life.
258
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,934
Change the world.
259
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,670
Fly, eagle, fly.
260
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:30,871
Put it in the car,
Francine.
261
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:31,905
I love it.
262
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,641
* I'm a good man
263
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,175
* Good man Stan
264
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,344
* Righting wrongs
wherever I can *
265
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,578
What the [bleep]
266
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,480
[ Tires screeching ]
267
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,683
Why are
you still a loser?
268
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,853
Stan, I appreciate
your interest in me,
269
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,420
but I'm happy here.
270
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:50,323
I'm not giving up on you,
Tommy Shuler.
271
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,525
Is that
the Big Bad Beefer?
272
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,027
I'm gonna take this.
273
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,731
This isn't
a Big Bad Beefer.
274
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,670
Narrator:
But it was a Big Bad Beefer.
275
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:06,640
The beef had just gotten
bunched up behind some lettuce.
276
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,282
"Your new life begins
with a healthy diet.
277
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,950
Love, Stan."
278
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,385
Uch, this guy!
279
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,287
Is heaven-sent?
280
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,522
Wh-- What are you guys
doing here?
281
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,925
Well, you made me a little
cross last time I saw you.
282
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,560
[ As Joe Pesci ] You made him
a lil' cross, Tommy.
283
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,731
-I'm...sorry?
-No, I'm sorry.
284
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,500
I foolishly thought your life
would be a quick fix.
285
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,035
If this is
about Subs Galore --
286
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,737
Ey! Nah-nah.
287
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,105
It's bigger than that.
288
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,408
Before we can fix this,
we gotta fix this
289
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,076
and this
290
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,378
so we can fix this.
291
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,748
[ Hand thuds ]
Damn, was that your spine?
292
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,817
I feel like I just slapped
a Stegosaurus.
293
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,651
His tongue
was really dry, too.
294
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:52,953
That's a good point.
295
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,088
You're a tough man
to love, Tommy.
296
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:58,992
To get the job you want,
297
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,128
you need to dress
for the job you want.
298
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,596
And that job is
Mid-Atlantic regional spokesman
299
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:04,932
for Kohler toilets.
300
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,499
You have
an interview tomorrow.
301
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,501
The big leagues, Tommy.
What?
302
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,904
Would you look
at that?
303
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,741
Do you know who the best dresser
in the world is, Tommy?
304
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,408
I don't know. You?
305
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,377
I wish. No.
306
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,513
It's every member
of the Cherry Poppin' Daddies.
307
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,249
They'd wear this.
308
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,720
Where's the zoot suit?
It wasn't appropriate.
309
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,055
It's a job interview, Tommy.
310
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,090
You gotta dress
like a cartoon wolf.
311
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,458
[ Grunting ]
312
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,326
Aah!
[ Glass shatters ]
313
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,963
-Is she okay?
-She's power clowning.
314
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,297
Or so she thinks.
315
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,698
Oh.
316
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,834
You know, Stan,
I'm actually pretty excited
317
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,302
for this job interview.
318
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,271
I-It would be
a big pay bump,
319
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:47,407
and if I get it,
we'd be done here.
320
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,842
Wouldn't we?
[ Francine screaming ]
321
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,710
So thank you.
322
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:53,814
No, Tommy.
You're welcome.
323
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:57,650
Tommy, I gotta say,
you'd be perfect for Kohler.
324
00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:00,053
I look at your face,
and I just think, "Toilet."
325
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,221
Oh, stop it.
326
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,390
You're making me "flush."
327
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,660
That was a very good joke,
Tommy.
328
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,062
Screw it.
You're hired.
329
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,698
Uh, pardon my interruption,
gentlemen,
330
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,034
but I'm the C.E.O.
of Mitsubishi,
331
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,037
and I find this man
very intriguing.
332
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,572
Would a great job
with a salary of, say,
333
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,042
$10 million interest you?
334
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,344
That's
an amazing offer.
335
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,079
Think you got
to take it.
336
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,681
I handed you that Kohler job
on a silver platter,
337
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,450
and you blew it.
I blew it?
338
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:33,020
I had it in the bag
until you pulled that stunt.
339
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,621
Stunt? I-I can't.
340
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,256
Francine, you talk to him.
341
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,758
Oh,
I don't know, Stan.
342
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,794
I'm afraid
of what I might say
343
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,896
because I haven't been
paying attention.
344
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,098
Enough of this.
We're done.
345
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,067
I'm going back
to Subs Galore.
346
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,635
No, you're not.
We burned it down.
347
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,703
What?!
Why would you do that?!
348
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,039
I thought
you'd be happy.
349
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,773
I burned down
your prison.
350
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,943
Why are you so afraid
of success?
351
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,510
How can
we overcome this?
352
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,379
I got it.
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
353
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,580
Stop.
Oh, yeah.
354
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,882
I'm liking this.
355
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,550
Cookin' up something
special for you, bud.
356
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,552
Brain's in warp drive
right now.
357
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,354
Stan, listen carefully.
358
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,690
I want you to cease
all communication with me.
359
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,994
Gotcha.
See you real soon.
360
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,529
I think
I'm being a good Roger.
361
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:20,133
**
362
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,234
[ Gasps ]
363
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,803
Don't worry, it's me.
364
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,738
Aaaahhh!
365
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:29,076
Tommy, we're gonna relive
the night of your trauma,
366
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,444
but this time,
I'm gonna do the right thing.
367
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,946
But, Stan, why...
368
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,282
Are you Fat Bastard
and not Freddy Krueger?
369
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,451
Because of mistakes I made
at the costume store.
370
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,621
My God.
Is that a real machete?
371
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,091
Zoot suit riot!
372
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,993
Riot!
373
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:49,762
This is a middle-school
peer pressure situation.
374
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:50,964
Be brave, Tommy.
375
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,799
We're about
to change history.
376
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,703
We are 7th-grade bullies
Pete and Tic Tac Krachowski,
377
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,772
and we only have one question,
Stan Smith.
378
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,508
Very powerful stuff.
379
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,511
Are you with the loser,
Tommy Shuler?
380
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,845
I am!
381
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,681
Young man: Well, well, well.
What is this?
382
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,984
Real teen
bullies. Run!
383
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,320
Look at
this Fat Bastard loser.
384
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,723
And, Big Chin,
are you with him?
385
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,758
[ Mockingly ]
Are you his friend?!
386
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,093
I am not.
387
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,528
[ Laughter ]
388
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,366
[ Laughs ]
389
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,667
Tommy, I'm sorry.
390
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:28,801
My instincts
just took over,
391
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,237
but I'll fix it.
392
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,072
We'll re-enact everything
again tomorrow.
393
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,307
This is never gonna end,
is it?
394
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:35,575
Hard to tell, Tommy.
395
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,210
Stan! Enough!
396
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:40,413
I felt bad for you,
so I let this keep going,
397
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:45,385
but it was me who didn't stick
up for you in middle school.
398
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:49,189
What are you talking about?
You got the memory reversed.
399
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,590
That can't be.
400
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,192
Do you really not remember?
401
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:54,995
Tic Tac: Well, how 'bout it?
402
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,764
You out here with Smith?
403
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,469
What? That loser?
404
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,371
No way.
405
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,507
Wahhhhhhh!
406
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,742
[ Laughter ]
407
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:14,047
I was the loser.
408
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,916
I am the loser!
409
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:21,021
Wahhhhhhhhh!
410
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,658
So ashamed.
411
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,727
So hungry.
412
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,499
Narrator: And he was so ashamed
and so hungry
413
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,367
because ever since he realized
414
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:37,437
he was the loser
and not Tommy Shuler,
415
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:42,742
he'd been hiding in the woods,
afraid to show his loser face.
416
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,045
Where is this guy going?
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
417
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,214
Something's about to happen.
Shh.
418
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,683
Aah!
I can't even catch an otter.
419
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:51,684
What a loser.
420
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,187
You're not a loser, Stan.
421
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:58,225
You're coming home
with me, Stan.
422
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,460
[ Straining ]
423
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,096
[ Crying ]
424
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,033
Whoa. Where'd you learn
to hog-tie like that?
425
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,135
I learned it
from watching you...
426
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,402
Tube.
427
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,971
I learned it
from watching YouTube.
428
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,606
Solid website.
429
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:18,978
**
430
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,713
How can you be
a loser?
431
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,949
You're
an elite C.I.A. agent.
432
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,052
I haven't even, like,
done a C.I.A. thing
433
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,519
in, like, a while.
434
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,920
Oh, honey.
435
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,289
You need a hug.
436
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,858
From the wife of Langley's
most infamous loser?
437
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,960
[ Crying ]
438
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,696
That little sucker's
fast.
439
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,066
He ran right back
into the woods.
440
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,300
And the woods?
441
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,701
Those are close.
442
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,236
I've been saying this
for years.
443
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:45,572
The woods are super-close.
444
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,674
Roger?
445
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,609
What's causing
all this fog?
446
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,478
Roger: 36 humidifiers.
447
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,414
I got them from a Mariah Carey
estate sale.
448
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,183
Oh, 'cause you're sick.
449
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,418
Nearly sick.
It's coming.
450
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:02,389
Yeah. So, Stan had
the sub guy memory reversed,
451
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,358
and now he keeps crying
and running into the woods.
452
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,959
What should I do?
453
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:10,097
Well, it appears Stan's
conflated his current self-worth
454
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,332
with childhood feelings
of inadequacy.
455
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,334
You need to boost
his confidence.
456
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:19,005
What if I get
his childhood friends together
457
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,441
to show him
he's doing better than them?
458
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,577
I could do
a middle-school reunion!
Okay.
459
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,116
[ As Squiggy ] Hello!
460
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,853
Gotcha. Now tell me
where the yummy flies are.
461
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,623
**
462
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,091
Am I in heaven?
463
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:39,992
I must be.
464
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:41,928
Because there's my angel suit.
465
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,765
Oh, no!
It's you.
466
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:49,802
Stan, I'm gonna prove
to you that you're not a loser.
467
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:52,605
I organized
a middle-school reunion.
468
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,741
Was the zoot suit
just a trap?
469
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,443
No, it was the bait.
470
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,578
Because you like it.
471
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,413
[ Voice breaking ]
I do!
472
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,718
Stan, remember?
473
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,288
We don't seek safety
in the woods anymore.
474
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,823
I just like knowing
where they are.
475
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,259
One thing's for sure --
476
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,694
You'll have the best-looking
lady on your arm.
477
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,463
Best body, maybe.
478
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,934
Stan.
479
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,070
Scotty Halas.
480
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,206
So, what are you up to
these days?
481
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,040
I'm in
medical supplies.
482
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,342
Sounds boring.
483
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,543
Right, Stan?
484
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,911
Oh, it is.
485
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,846
You'd think getting acquired
for $2 billion
486
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,383
would be exciting,
but it's all paperwork.
487
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:39,051
He's successful, Francine.
488
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,987
I own
my own advertising agency.
489
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,790
I'm a former model
turned hooker for models.
490
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,092
I found $1 million
in the woods.
491
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,527
The woods? Where?
492
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,895
It was
next to the otter.
493
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,598
That's where I was.
Aah!
494
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,533
It was
inside the log.
495
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,168
But, like, a long time ago,
right?
496
00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,370
No.
Just this morning.
497
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,805
I wasn't gonna come
to the reunion
498
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,673
because I felt shame
about my life,
499
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,410
but now I feel proud
because of what I achieved
500
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,712
in the woods
earlier today.
501
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,680
Today!
502
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,652
Stan, I just wanted to
apologize again for everything.
503
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,387
I should apologize.
504
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,055
I cost you your job.
505
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,590
I guess
we're both losers.
506
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,892
Uh, not exactly.
507
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:23,196
Full disclosure --
I own Subs Galore.
508
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,664
Every location.
509
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,666
It's kind of
a Buffett Situation.
510
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:27,834
Oh.
511
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,270
Pete:
Look who it is, Tic Tac.
512
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:33,273
Smith, you came to your
middle-school reunion alone,
513
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,507
like a loser?
514
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,443
No.
I'm here with my wife.
515
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,978
You mean
Palmela Handerson?
516
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,847
-No, her.
-Wait a minute.
517
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,416
This smokin' hot hard body
is with you?
518
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:47,153
Hey, hard body, are you
really with this loser?
519
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:53,826
That loser?
520
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,161
No way.
521
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,129
[ Crying ]
522
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,698
Stan! I'm sorry!
523
00:19:58,731 --> 00:19:59,899
Come back!
524
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,436
Good thing I had the tailors
at Men's Wearhouse
525
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,538
sew a shock collar
into his suit.
526
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,940
[ Electricity buzzes ]
Aaahh!
527
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:11,010
They're truly the best
in the business.
528
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,049
Stan,
please say something.
529
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:21,120
Tic Tac: Hey, hard body,
are you really with this loser?
530
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,222
That loser?
No way.
531
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,057
That loser?
No way.
532
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:29,061
[ Echoing ] That loser?
No way.
533
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,097
That loser? No way.
534
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:35,635
Hey, hard body, are you
really with this loser?
535
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,770
That loser?
No way.
536
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,942
Francine,
I owe you an apology.
537
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,644
Y-You do?
538
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,879
Back there, when I said
I wasn't with you,
539
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,416
I actually was with you.
540
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:50,683
Ahh!
541
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,552
I forgive you.
542
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:58,825
Ahhh-choooo!
543
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:02,194
And so it begins.
544
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,397
Bye! Have a great time!
37588
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