All language subtitles for grace.and.frankie.s01e03.720p.webrip.x264-2hd.en

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:48,901 --> 00:00:52,153 Marge? Hi, it's Grace. 2 00:00:52,237 --> 00:00:56,157 Listen, I can't do the silent auction. 3 00:00:56,241 --> 00:00:59,327 Because it's being sponsored by the law firm. 4 00:01:00,453 --> 00:01:03,749 Well, because Robert is divorcing me. 5 00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:07,086 Because he is a homosexual. 6 00:01:45,331 --> 00:01:47,417 With Sol. 7 00:01:48,794 --> 00:01:50,545 Yes, that Sol. 8 00:01:52,297 --> 00:01:54,591 Yup, I guess so. 9 00:01:56,259 --> 00:01:58,929 Better go ahead and get that. Okay. 10 00:01:59,012 --> 00:02:01,473 Yeah, bye, Marge, bye-bye. 11 00:02:26,957 --> 00:02:30,251 You wanna play the tough guy, huh? That's how you wanna do it? 12 00:02:30,335 --> 00:02:34,255 Okay, I can wait. I've got nowhere else to be. 13 00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:40,095 Well, jury duty, but that's not till October. 14 00:02:40,179 --> 00:02:42,931 What's Mallory's food problem du jour? 15 00:02:43,015 --> 00:02:45,809 Her... gluten or meat? I can't remember. 16 00:02:45,892 --> 00:02:48,645 Right. No. It's something ridiculous. Corn, maybe? 17 00:02:48,728 --> 00:02:50,480 Nothing doesn't have corn. 18 00:02:50,563 --> 00:02:52,524 I have to rethink the whole dinner now. 19 00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:55,110 Sol, it's not till tomorrow. We've got plenty of time. 20 00:02:55,194 --> 00:02:58,697 And it'll be fine. Our families have had a million dinners together. 21 00:02:58,780 --> 00:03:00,406 The girls adore you. 22 00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:04,161 That was before they found out I was going to be their new stepmother. 23 00:03:04,244 --> 00:03:07,372 Sol, you're making me nervous. 24 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:11,043 Say, do you remember the way Grace used to fold the napkins 25 00:03:11,126 --> 00:03:13,461 into bow-ties sometimes? Do you know how she did that? 26 00:03:13,545 --> 00:03:16,464 - No idea. - Oh. 27 00:03:16,548 --> 00:03:19,467 I should wash these before we use them. 28 00:03:19,551 --> 00:03:22,262 You're using china? We're going that fancy? 29 00:03:22,345 --> 00:03:25,390 I just think people are on their best behavior when they eat off china. 30 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,893 Clearly you've never raised boys. 31 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:34,107 Oh, geez, Coyote. I forgot. 32 00:03:34,191 --> 00:03:37,569 - We haven't thought this through. - We're thinking it through now. 33 00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:40,239 - There's something else we're forgetting. - Sol, it's just a dinner. 34 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:43,449 We might forget something. So what? It's fine. They're gonna be fine. 35 00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:46,161 - We're gonna be fine. - Oh, I know we're gonna be fine. 36 00:03:46,245 --> 00:03:49,289 Because I'm gonna open the bottle of wine we're not serving to Coyote. 37 00:03:49,414 --> 00:03:51,083 Well, you're not gonna drink it alone. 38 00:03:52,167 --> 00:03:57,172 I love the dear silver That shines in your hair 39 00:03:57,256 --> 00:04:02,343 And the brow that's all wrinkled And furrowed with care 40 00:04:02,427 --> 00:04:03,511 I... 41 00:04:03,595 --> 00:04:07,849 I kiss the dear fingers So toil-worn for me 42 00:04:07,933 --> 00:04:10,018 - Oh... - Oh... 43 00:04:10,102 --> 00:04:13,146 God bless you and keep you 44 00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:16,775 - Mother Machree - Mother Machree 45 00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:35,835 Do we have a poltergeist? 46 00:04:35,919 --> 00:04:38,338 Worse. Nothing better to do. 47 00:04:38,421 --> 00:04:41,091 So what is it that you are doing? 48 00:04:41,174 --> 00:04:42,801 I'm trimming the rug. 49 00:04:42,884 --> 00:04:44,803 Because it grows so fast, huh? 50 00:04:44,886 --> 00:04:49,266 - Get your scissors away from my rug! - Fine, fine. 51 00:04:49,349 --> 00:04:52,685 I'll go alphabetize the spices. 52 00:04:52,769 --> 00:04:55,188 No. They're in order of how often we use them. 53 00:04:55,272 --> 00:04:57,357 Leave the allspice in the back where it belongs. 54 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,819 You know what? I think your painting's calling you. 55 00:05:00,902 --> 00:05:03,780 No, it isn't. We're not talking right now. 56 00:05:32,558 --> 00:05:34,019 Hey, where you going? 57 00:05:34,102 --> 00:05:36,604 I've made a monumental life decision. 58 00:05:36,688 --> 00:05:40,317 What? What's the matter with the ignition? 59 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,443 I've made a life decision. 60 00:05:42,527 --> 00:05:45,280 Oh, where are you going to go fishing? 61 00:05:45,364 --> 00:05:47,907 Listen, if you want to talk to me, come in here. 62 00:05:49,951 --> 00:05:52,204 You have got to get a hearing device. 63 00:05:52,287 --> 00:05:54,164 How do you expect me to hear you when you're shouting 64 00:05:54,247 --> 00:05:56,749 from the other side of the house? What were you saying? 65 00:05:56,833 --> 00:05:59,669 I am going back to work! 66 00:05:59,752 --> 00:06:01,587 Good. Where? 67 00:06:01,671 --> 00:06:03,382 To my company. 68 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,133 The one you gave to Brianna? 69 00:06:05,217 --> 00:06:07,552 The one I built from nothing. 70 00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:10,471 - Okay, brava. - Where's my phone? 71 00:06:10,555 --> 00:06:11,639 - Miss? - Huh? 72 00:06:11,723 --> 00:06:13,099 Oh. 73 00:06:13,183 --> 00:06:15,935 So, where's Brianna going to work? 74 00:06:16,019 --> 00:06:18,521 You know what? I'm going to go. 75 00:06:18,604 --> 00:06:19,731 Oh, can I come with you? 76 00:06:21,191 --> 00:06:23,360 - Get your own job. - I've got a job. 77 00:06:23,443 --> 00:06:25,695 Yeah. Teaching convicts. 78 00:06:25,778 --> 00:06:29,074 We call them rehabilitated former offenders. 79 00:06:29,157 --> 00:06:32,411 This is what we're calling them now? That's good to know. 80 00:06:35,955 --> 00:06:40,085 I like the idea of going fishing. I don't like to kill the fish, though. 81 00:06:40,168 --> 00:06:42,337 I guess I could throw them back. 82 00:06:42,421 --> 00:06:47,092 But I don't have a boat. My friend Todd has a boat. 83 00:06:47,175 --> 00:06:49,177 Where is Todd? 84 00:06:49,261 --> 00:06:51,554 Oh, right, he died. 85 00:06:51,637 --> 00:06:54,766 I should call his wife. Where's my cell phone? 86 00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:57,852 I'll call it. What's my number? 87 00:06:59,229 --> 00:07:00,521 Should we tell Mom? 88 00:07:00,605 --> 00:07:03,400 Are you nuts? It's just gonna make her feel bad. 89 00:07:03,483 --> 00:07:07,028 - I feel weird. - It's all weird, Bud. 90 00:07:07,112 --> 00:07:12,158 Our father and his boyfriend are having their children over for dinner. 91 00:07:12,242 --> 00:07:15,954 I can top that. The love of your squandered life is gonna be there. 92 00:07:16,037 --> 00:07:19,124 - Probably with her husband. - Shit! 93 00:07:19,207 --> 00:07:21,542 You do realize Coyote is going to be there, right? 94 00:07:21,626 --> 00:07:24,337 Okay, I don't want to talk about Coyote. 95 00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:27,173 I know. I do, though. Is Mitch coming? 96 00:07:27,257 --> 00:07:29,759 No, my husband will stay home with the kids 97 00:07:29,842 --> 00:07:31,970 when the babysitter suddenly gets sick. 98 00:07:32,053 --> 00:07:35,681 You know what, maybe I'll get sick, too. Or maybe I'll just hang with Mom. 99 00:07:35,765 --> 00:07:40,019 If I'm going to this dinner, you're going. And Mom can't know about this. 100 00:07:40,103 --> 00:07:44,316 If you breathe one word of this to Mom, I will tell her who really killed Dimples. 101 00:07:44,399 --> 00:07:47,610 Will you stop throwing that fucking hamster in my face! 102 00:07:47,693 --> 00:07:48,694 You don't have to go. 103 00:07:48,778 --> 00:07:52,907 I do have to go. I have to talk to Mallory. 104 00:07:52,991 --> 00:07:56,911 And it's important for Dad. And New Dad, Robert Dad. 105 00:07:56,995 --> 00:07:59,289 I smell a trigger. You gonna be okay? 106 00:07:59,372 --> 00:08:01,500 I'll even out by the third vodka. 107 00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,251 That's not funny yet. 108 00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:10,467 Just don't talk to Mom for the next two days. 109 00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:11,592 Okay, what if she calls? 110 00:08:11,676 --> 00:08:14,637 If she calls, don't lie like a pussy. Sell it. 111 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,848 Wait. Is this one of those things where you tell me not to tell her 112 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:19,058 and then you get to tell her and you get to be the hero? 113 00:08:20,059 --> 00:08:22,645 - Hi, Mom! - Oh, my God, let me talk to her! 114 00:08:24,189 --> 00:08:25,565 This is different. 115 00:08:25,648 --> 00:08:27,359 Lovely. 116 00:08:27,442 --> 00:08:29,819 Have a seat. 117 00:08:38,244 --> 00:08:41,998 - So glad you stopped by. - Yeah. Me, too. 118 00:08:42,081 --> 00:08:45,043 So... what's up? 119 00:08:45,126 --> 00:08:50,798 Well, I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and I've come to apologize. 120 00:08:50,882 --> 00:08:54,052 Apology accepted. What did you do? 121 00:08:54,135 --> 00:08:56,637 I handed you this business and I abandoned you. 122 00:08:56,721 --> 00:09:02,394 I took a competent, no-frills money manager and thrust her into the rough 123 00:09:02,477 --> 00:09:04,396 and tumble world of beauty products. 124 00:09:04,479 --> 00:09:06,689 It's not exactly the Thunderdome here, Mom. 125 00:09:06,772 --> 00:09:09,401 And you know, we're up 15 percent this last quarter. 126 00:09:09,484 --> 00:09:13,530 That's wonderful, honey. But here's what I'm thinking. 127 00:09:14,697 --> 00:09:16,074 I want to try to make it up to you 128 00:09:16,157 --> 00:09:19,327 by offering you something you could really use. 129 00:09:19,411 --> 00:09:22,247 - A boyfriend who doesn't talk? - No. 130 00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:27,001 Me. I would love to come back to work here. 131 00:09:31,881 --> 00:09:34,800 - Oh... - You'd still be CEO. 132 00:09:34,884 --> 00:09:37,178 But it just feels... 133 00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:39,847 like a natural fit for us, doesn't it? 134 00:09:39,931 --> 00:09:43,476 Yeah. But you retired. We had a party. 135 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:46,771 There were shrimp cakes and speeches. Margaret cried. 136 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:51,692 - Do we have a problem here? - Well, I mean, I don't know. 137 00:09:51,776 --> 00:09:54,987 We've gone in a different direction, and that took capital. 138 00:09:55,071 --> 00:09:57,990 I don't know if I have the money to hire someone else. 139 00:09:58,074 --> 00:10:00,535 Well, what do you mean, "different direction"? 140 00:10:00,619 --> 00:10:04,163 Oh, gosh! I mean more... 141 00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:08,501 relevant. 142 00:10:08,585 --> 00:10:10,962 Are you implying I'm irrelevant? 143 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:12,631 Because that would be interesting, 144 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,300 given that my face is all over the darn box. 145 00:10:15,383 --> 00:10:18,886 I know. Um... only until the fall, though. 146 00:10:23,975 --> 00:10:26,894 You... you replaced my face with a plant? 147 00:10:26,978 --> 00:10:28,938 Mm-hmm. 148 00:10:36,571 --> 00:10:38,114 Mmm. 149 00:10:42,452 --> 00:10:45,538 Mmm! 150 00:10:45,622 --> 00:10:49,542 See, we're going for a more youthful customer, 151 00:10:49,626 --> 00:10:52,128 and she's urban, and she's active, 152 00:10:52,211 --> 00:10:56,174 and she responds better to a plant than a face. 153 00:10:56,257 --> 00:10:58,510 I've been erased. 154 00:10:58,593 --> 00:11:01,012 I'm sorry, Mom. I should have told you. 155 00:11:05,224 --> 00:11:07,977 - Help me, damn it. - I don't think I can... 156 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:09,145 - No! Out of the chair! - Oh. 157 00:11:11,856 --> 00:11:12,773 Here. 158 00:11:15,485 --> 00:11:16,611 Just... 159 00:11:19,614 --> 00:11:23,993 - This is what I know how to do. - God, Mom. I know. 160 00:11:24,076 --> 00:11:26,287 - So? - So... I can't. 161 00:11:26,371 --> 00:11:28,581 - I don't understand! Why not?! - I can't, because... 162 00:11:30,542 --> 00:11:32,377 Because if you're here, no one will see me. 163 00:11:33,503 --> 00:11:36,047 You're a big presence. You cast a giant shadow. 164 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,550 I could never come out from underneath that. 165 00:11:39,551 --> 00:11:41,886 If you came back here, I'd be completely invisible. 166 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,971 I don't think you know what that feels like. 167 00:11:45,890 --> 00:11:47,308 I think I'm beginning to. 168 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:52,146 Well, would you at least let me take you to dinner? 169 00:11:53,523 --> 00:11:56,735 I wish I could... I've got a thing. 170 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:59,237 - A thing? - Don't ask. 171 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:03,074 FYI, childbirth was easier than getting out of that chair. 172 00:12:04,492 --> 00:12:06,536 I personally prefer working in oils, 173 00:12:06,619 --> 00:12:09,414 although watercolors are more forgiving as we age. 174 00:12:09,497 --> 00:12:13,793 Oh, yeah, yeah. So, this is the dining room. 175 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:20,132 Salad bars usually freak me out, but this one seems sanitary. 176 00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:23,886 Well, you know, you're welcome to have all your meals here if you like. 177 00:12:23,969 --> 00:12:27,848 We've got kosher options. And... vegetarian. 178 00:12:27,932 --> 00:12:29,475 Is it that obvious? 179 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:31,644 Your shoes. 180 00:12:31,728 --> 00:12:34,814 Oh, I do have my MFA. An online MFA. 181 00:12:34,897 --> 00:12:38,443 - I'm a Phoenix. - Oh. Good for you. 182 00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:47,452 Fuck. 183 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,831 - Hello? - Hi. Can you be nice to me? 184 00:12:51,914 --> 00:12:54,292 Um, okay... 185 00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:58,296 I love you. You're so pretty. I gotta go. 186 00:12:58,379 --> 00:12:59,839 Mal... 187 00:13:01,466 --> 00:13:03,843 Am I irrelevant? 188 00:13:03,926 --> 00:13:06,137 Oh, Mom. 189 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:09,766 Not to me. I gotta go. 190 00:13:11,392 --> 00:13:13,478 Okay, bye. 191 00:13:14,604 --> 00:13:17,231 I like it here. This could work. 192 00:13:17,315 --> 00:13:19,442 Well, we would really like to have you. 193 00:13:19,525 --> 00:13:23,529 Really? Oh, God, that is fantastic! 194 00:13:23,613 --> 00:13:25,573 Oh, my God. 195 00:13:25,657 --> 00:13:28,284 Oh. Okay. 196 00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:31,704 So, William, let's get down to brass tacks. How much? 197 00:13:31,788 --> 00:13:33,790 Well, it'll be ten thousand a month. 198 00:13:33,873 --> 00:13:35,124 To teach art! 199 00:13:35,207 --> 00:13:37,502 Art. Wait, art? 200 00:13:37,585 --> 00:13:40,296 You placed an ad for an art teacher. 201 00:13:40,379 --> 00:13:43,424 You're not Myrna Rosenblum, are you? 202 00:13:43,508 --> 00:13:47,553 I was supposed to give her a new resident's tour at two o'clock. 203 00:13:47,637 --> 00:13:50,097 To live here? Oh, my God. 204 00:13:50,181 --> 00:13:53,267 Do I look like I need a bed with a motor? 205 00:13:53,351 --> 00:13:56,479 Oh, well, people are taking really good care of themselves these days. 206 00:13:56,562 --> 00:14:00,692 No, no, I have taken terrible care of myself. 207 00:14:00,775 --> 00:14:04,696 I am young. I'm... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 208 00:14:04,779 --> 00:14:06,364 Excuse me. 209 00:14:07,907 --> 00:14:10,201 My joints are supple. 210 00:14:17,876 --> 00:14:19,043 The girls are here. 211 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,754 I swear we're forgetting something. 212 00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:26,676 Anyway, here we go. 213 00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:28,386 Wait, wait, wait. 214 00:14:31,890 --> 00:14:33,974 Now here we go. 215 00:14:35,226 --> 00:14:36,268 Hey! 216 00:14:36,352 --> 00:14:38,103 What are you doing? 217 00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:41,566 I'm having dinner with my gay dads, you? 218 00:14:41,649 --> 00:14:44,193 You can't just walk in there. It's not your house anymore. 219 00:14:44,276 --> 00:14:47,446 I lost both of my virginities in this house. It's my house. 220 00:14:48,447 --> 00:14:51,242 - Hi! Hi. - Hi! 221 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:52,744 Welcome. 222 00:14:53,828 --> 00:14:55,830 - Hi! - Hello. 223 00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:00,501 Welcome? 224 00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:03,087 We're so glad you came. 225 00:15:05,297 --> 00:15:06,841 - Hi. - Hi. 226 00:15:06,925 --> 00:15:08,426 Excuse me. 227 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,348 I brought you chocolate. 228 00:15:14,432 --> 00:15:15,558 That's from both of us. 229 00:15:15,641 --> 00:15:18,102 How nice! Thank you! 230 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:21,856 There's vodka inside, have you guys had those? 231 00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:23,775 No. 232 00:15:23,858 --> 00:15:26,151 You wouldn't think chocolate and vodka go well together, 233 00:15:26,235 --> 00:15:30,072 but it's like mac and cheese, it just... it just works. 234 00:15:35,703 --> 00:15:38,080 Well, you both look great. 235 00:15:38,163 --> 00:15:41,375 Oh, no, I look like shit. But thank you. 236 00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:42,543 Would you like something to drink? 237 00:15:42,627 --> 00:15:44,378 - Bourbon. - Scotch, please. 238 00:15:44,462 --> 00:15:49,049 - No... we're not serving alcohol tonight. - Are you kidding? 239 00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,473 Knock, knock! 240 00:15:55,556 --> 00:15:57,475 - Hey. - Hey, guys! 241 00:15:57,558 --> 00:15:59,393 Hello! 242 00:16:00,311 --> 00:16:02,146 Hey, Bud. Welcome. 243 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:05,107 - Yeah. - Hi, Dad. Hi... 244 00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:07,735 - Coyote. Welcome. - Thank you. 245 00:16:09,028 --> 00:16:11,781 - Hi, Bree. - What's up, Broseph? 246 00:16:11,864 --> 00:16:14,241 - That's what I'm gonna call you now. - No, you are not. 247 00:16:14,325 --> 00:16:16,494 - Mm-hmm. - Mal. 248 00:16:16,577 --> 00:16:18,788 Broseph. 249 00:16:18,871 --> 00:16:21,624 Who would like some sparkling apple cider? 250 00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:24,585 Oh, geez, that's... that's because of me. 251 00:16:24,669 --> 00:16:29,924 It's fine. Please, everyone drink, enjoy. 252 00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:32,384 See? Straight from the alcoholic's mouth. 253 00:16:32,468 --> 00:16:35,429 - He says it's fine. - Thanks, Coyote, but it's okay. 254 00:16:35,513 --> 00:16:38,933 Everybody's needs have been considered tonight. 255 00:16:39,017 --> 00:16:43,855 Mal, the bread crumbs are gluten-free. You're special, too. 256 00:16:43,938 --> 00:16:45,731 Mal. 257 00:16:46,398 --> 00:16:47,650 Come here. 258 00:16:47,733 --> 00:16:49,276 No. 259 00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,742 - Mal... - I am not engaging with you. 260 00:16:56,826 --> 00:16:59,037 - You're not engaging? - No. 261 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,998 Okay, I have no idea what I did that night. 262 00:17:02,081 --> 00:17:03,875 - Are you kidding me? - No! 263 00:17:03,958 --> 00:17:09,755 I was on a cocktail of tequila, cocaine and non-stick cooking spray. 264 00:17:09,839 --> 00:17:12,591 - You guys, there's cheese. - Just a second! 265 00:17:13,926 --> 00:17:16,846 Well, let me refresh your memory. 266 00:17:16,929 --> 00:17:22,267 After mowing down my mailbox, you proceeded to get out of your car 267 00:17:22,351 --> 00:17:24,896 and start shouting at the top of your lungs, 268 00:17:24,979 --> 00:17:27,314 "Mal, don't marry Mitch! 269 00:17:27,398 --> 00:17:29,942 It doesn't have to be me, just don't marry Mitch!" 270 00:17:30,026 --> 00:17:32,820 Which manages to not only scare my children, 271 00:17:32,904 --> 00:17:36,448 but really piss off my husband, who, by the way, 272 00:17:36,532 --> 00:17:38,826 I had already been married to for seven years. 273 00:17:41,453 --> 00:17:43,581 - Fuck. - Yeah. 274 00:17:44,832 --> 00:17:46,166 I had no idea. 275 00:17:48,419 --> 00:17:50,462 That's really, really bad. 276 00:17:52,924 --> 00:17:56,468 Let's go, everybody! Phones in the box. 277 00:17:56,552 --> 00:17:57,803 Phones. 278 00:17:57,887 --> 00:18:00,264 God, I thought you only did this at your house. 279 00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:03,101 This is his house. 280 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,227 I need a drink or I need my phone. 281 00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:07,772 You have got to give me something. 282 00:18:07,855 --> 00:18:11,567 - We hid a bottle of Chianti... - Behind the toaster. 283 00:18:11,650 --> 00:18:13,235 Good enough. 284 00:18:16,114 --> 00:18:17,322 Let's eat! 285 00:19:01,033 --> 00:19:02,952 Did you steal my scissors? 286 00:19:03,035 --> 00:19:05,537 - Yes. - Well, can I have 'em back? 287 00:19:05,621 --> 00:19:07,832 Will you stop trimming the rugs? 288 00:19:07,915 --> 00:19:09,875 Yes. 289 00:19:10,709 --> 00:19:13,420 That's not bad. 290 00:19:14,839 --> 00:19:16,215 What is it, an otter? 291 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:20,178 It's my fucking day. 292 00:19:23,347 --> 00:19:25,724 Did you get your job back? 293 00:19:25,808 --> 00:19:30,813 No, no. I decided it's... it's not me anymore. 294 00:19:55,838 --> 00:19:58,507 How did you get the almond to actually stick to the chicken? 295 00:19:58,590 --> 00:20:00,885 Interesting. Egg whites! 296 00:20:00,968 --> 00:20:02,178 Hmm. 297 00:20:02,261 --> 00:20:04,596 There are eggs in this? 298 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,266 You have a problem with the eggs but not the chicken? 299 00:20:07,349 --> 00:20:10,435 - That's classic. - Just egg whites, no yolk. 300 00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:14,190 And then you just grind up the almonds with a little paprika. 301 00:20:14,273 --> 00:20:16,192 He's like a magician in the kitchen. 302 00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:24,408 - Do you think it's dry? - A little. 303 00:20:26,702 --> 00:20:28,787 I think it's perfect, babe. 304 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:40,424 - What are you looking for? - Nothing. 305 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:43,844 If you're looking for those cigarettes, I threw them out. 306 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:47,932 Shit. I'd give my good knee for a cigarette. 307 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:55,814 Me, too. I haven't had a cigarette since smoking was good for you. 308 00:20:58,276 --> 00:20:59,693 Shall we? 309 00:21:06,491 --> 00:21:10,996 Mallory, would you engage me in the salt, please? 310 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,212 Excuse me. 311 00:21:30,141 --> 00:21:31,267 Mallory. 312 00:21:31,350 --> 00:21:33,393 I cannot deal with all of this right now. 313 00:21:33,477 --> 00:21:35,980 I can't deal with that, and I can't deal with you. 314 00:21:36,063 --> 00:21:39,817 And my mother has taken every single Valium out of this house. 315 00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,319 I know. 316 00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,695 I want drugs, too. 317 00:21:43,779 --> 00:21:47,199 But we have to figure a way to deal with all of this without that, 318 00:21:47,283 --> 00:21:49,451 and without storming out of the room. 319 00:21:49,534 --> 00:21:52,913 No, no, no, no, no. I cannot be taking advice about all this from you right now. 320 00:21:52,997 --> 00:21:54,581 That-that-that can't be right. 321 00:21:54,665 --> 00:21:58,752 I'm-I'm afraid it is. We're step-people now. 322 00:21:58,836 --> 00:22:00,087 No. 323 00:22:00,171 --> 00:22:04,133 I'm sorry, but we're blended. We have to be civil. 324 00:22:04,216 --> 00:22:07,970 No, I don't. I just came here to pee. 325 00:22:08,053 --> 00:22:09,930 I didn't come here to work anything out with you. 326 00:22:10,014 --> 00:22:14,893 So just... just let me go so that I can pee. Please. 327 00:22:19,773 --> 00:22:22,109 I think it's going okay. 328 00:22:26,488 --> 00:22:28,366 Uh... you need help? 329 00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,409 - With what? - With dessert. 330 00:22:30,492 --> 00:22:33,996 - Isn't that what you came in here to do? - Oh, no. I am not doing that. 331 00:22:34,079 --> 00:22:36,081 I came in here so I don't have to be out there. 332 00:22:36,165 --> 00:22:39,751 By the way, why would you bring dessert in like seven different containers? 333 00:22:39,835 --> 00:22:41,920 Go to the grocery store like a normal person. 334 00:22:42,004 --> 00:22:43,881 - Buy an Entenmann's. - What's your problem? 335 00:22:43,964 --> 00:22:46,133 Nothing. It's just... 336 00:22:46,217 --> 00:22:49,761 Why are we talking about the almond meal chicken in there? 337 00:22:49,845 --> 00:22:51,722 "Oh, that's how you get the almond to stick to the chicken?" 338 00:22:51,805 --> 00:22:54,975 "Yeah, but you have to use egg whites." "Oh, well, egg whites makes it okay 339 00:22:55,059 --> 00:22:57,477 that our mothers are home alone and heartbroken." 340 00:22:57,561 --> 00:22:59,063 Everyone is just trying their best, Bree. 341 00:22:59,146 --> 00:23:00,939 Is that why you gave that elaborate toast? 342 00:23:01,023 --> 00:23:02,524 - It was the Kiddush. - Oh. 343 00:23:02,607 --> 00:23:04,235 What did you think was going to happen tonight? 344 00:23:04,318 --> 00:23:05,903 I don't know, but don't you think it's weird 345 00:23:05,986 --> 00:23:08,530 that no one is talking about this? 346 00:23:08,613 --> 00:23:11,867 It's like we have flashed forward five years into the future 347 00:23:11,950 --> 00:23:14,328 and everybody's cool with Dad and Sol. 348 00:23:14,412 --> 00:23:17,248 - I am cool with it. - Oh, really? You're cool with it? 349 00:23:17,331 --> 00:23:22,420 Would you be cool with it if they'd been cheating with women for the last 20 years? 350 00:23:24,296 --> 00:23:27,174 - I don't know. - Please. There wouldn't be cake. 351 00:23:27,258 --> 00:23:30,635 There'd be blood or bullets. Something. 352 00:23:30,719 --> 00:23:33,513 For sure, we wouldn't be talking about the chicken. 353 00:23:33,597 --> 00:23:36,100 Do you think you're the only one that's having a hard time? 354 00:23:36,183 --> 00:23:39,853 Up until a week ago I was under the impression my parents loved each other. 355 00:23:39,937 --> 00:23:41,355 Now I'm losing my family. 356 00:23:41,439 --> 00:23:47,319 I'm losing Jewish Christmas Eve, and picketing Walmart, and camping. 357 00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:51,949 Forgot you guys all liked each other. 358 00:23:52,032 --> 00:23:54,659 Well, we had to. We slept in a four person sleeping bag. 359 00:23:54,743 --> 00:23:57,037 - Really? - No. 360 00:23:57,121 --> 00:24:00,082 I'll carry the cake. Will you carry the coffee? 361 00:24:00,165 --> 00:24:02,918 - No. - Thanks. 362 00:24:06,213 --> 00:24:09,216 Hey! Sir? Sir! We're still waiting. 363 00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,926 Cigarettes! 364 00:24:13,262 --> 00:24:16,765 Oh, excuse me... Hey, excuse me, excuse me! 365 00:24:16,848 --> 00:24:19,310 Damn it to hell. Oh, excuse me. 366 00:24:19,393 --> 00:24:20,811 I don't work here. 367 00:24:20,894 --> 00:24:22,980 But how do I get you fired? 368 00:24:28,527 --> 00:24:30,279 This is Mom's favorite. 369 00:24:33,407 --> 00:24:36,076 You remember Mom, right? 370 00:24:37,953 --> 00:24:40,831 I remember my mom. She used to live here. 371 00:24:40,914 --> 00:24:43,292 - Enough, Brianna. - No, it's okay. 372 00:24:43,375 --> 00:24:45,503 Clearly, they need to express something. 373 00:24:45,585 --> 00:24:47,629 Are your mothers upset that you came over? 374 00:24:47,712 --> 00:24:49,673 My mother doesn't know I'm here. 375 00:24:49,756 --> 00:24:51,967 I told her I had a thing and I couldn't talk. 376 00:24:52,050 --> 00:24:55,887 - I'm at an AA meeting. - I'm racked with guilt. 377 00:24:55,971 --> 00:24:57,931 Why wouldn't you tell them you were coming here? 378 00:24:58,015 --> 00:25:01,018 - Are you really asking that? - Yes! I am. 379 00:25:01,101 --> 00:25:03,145 They're going to find out you came here and they're going to think 380 00:25:03,228 --> 00:25:06,815 we told you not to tell them, and they'll assume you're taking our side. 381 00:25:06,898 --> 00:25:11,278 I'm sorry, is there some kind of manual that we didn't get that tells us 382 00:25:11,362 --> 00:25:12,654 how to act in this situation? 383 00:25:12,737 --> 00:25:15,199 Because you two seem to be the only ones who know the rules. 384 00:25:15,282 --> 00:25:16,908 We just think you should have been honest. 385 00:25:16,992 --> 00:25:19,995 I'm sorry, are you trying to be ironic? 386 00:25:20,078 --> 00:25:21,705 No. I'm trying to be your father! 387 00:25:21,788 --> 00:25:25,250 You don't have to point out to me that I hurt your mother! 388 00:25:25,334 --> 00:25:29,046 I know she's been hurt. Lying only makes it worse. 389 00:25:29,129 --> 00:25:31,131 - They've been through enough. - Because of you! 390 00:25:32,966 --> 00:25:36,470 I lied to my mother for the first time in my adult life because of you 391 00:25:36,554 --> 00:25:39,306 - and I'm not even allowed to be mad. - Why not? 392 00:25:39,390 --> 00:25:40,765 'Cause you're gay! 393 00:25:40,849 --> 00:25:43,685 If you had been fucking around with women for the last 20 years, 394 00:25:43,768 --> 00:25:46,230 we wouldn't even be here eating cake! 395 00:25:47,314 --> 00:25:48,899 Say it in there, and it comes out here. 396 00:25:52,236 --> 00:25:55,072 So we are not eating cake. 397 00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:12,381 Brianna, would you pass the cream, please? 398 00:26:17,386 --> 00:26:19,179 Thank you, Mallory. 399 00:26:19,263 --> 00:26:20,598 You're welcome, Coyote. 400 00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:26,228 Okay, stand back, I'm about to lose my shit. 401 00:26:26,311 --> 00:26:31,191 Sir, can we get some cigarettes over here, for crying out loud?! 402 00:26:31,275 --> 00:26:33,860 Oh, God, thank you! 403 00:26:33,944 --> 00:26:37,030 - Sir! Hi! - Hi! How are you? 404 00:26:37,114 --> 00:26:38,990 I'm good... 405 00:26:39,074 --> 00:26:40,951 - Excuse me! - It's a beautiful night. 406 00:26:41,034 --> 00:26:42,536 It is. Can I help you? 407 00:26:42,620 --> 00:26:45,747 Excuse me, are you in a coma?! 408 00:26:45,830 --> 00:26:48,584 This is a place of business, right? 409 00:26:48,667 --> 00:26:52,463 - Do you have lottery tickets? - Sure do. How many? 410 00:26:52,546 --> 00:26:56,258 - Just two, please. - You! You! Sir! 411 00:26:56,341 --> 00:26:58,469 - You! - Just a second. 412 00:26:58,552 --> 00:27:01,138 - Just two of the scratch-offs? - Yeah, scratch-offs. 413 00:27:01,221 --> 00:27:03,515 Hello! 414 00:27:03,599 --> 00:27:08,353 Hello! Hello! 415 00:27:08,437 --> 00:27:10,981 What kind of animal treats people like this?! 416 00:27:11,982 --> 00:27:16,361 Do you not see me?! Do I not exist?! 417 00:27:16,445 --> 00:27:18,363 You think it's all right to ignore us?! 418 00:27:18,447 --> 00:27:21,825 - Just because she's got grey hair? - What? 419 00:27:21,908 --> 00:27:23,494 And I don't look like her? 420 00:27:24,828 --> 00:27:27,539 This poor woman needs a pack of cigarettes 421 00:27:27,623 --> 00:27:29,583 and she doesn't have a lot of time left! 422 00:27:29,667 --> 00:27:32,586 - Get us a pack of cigarettes! - Come on, let's get out of here, Grace. 423 00:27:32,670 --> 00:27:35,213 Come on. Let's go! 424 00:27:35,297 --> 00:27:37,924 - No! - For God's sake! This way. 425 00:27:41,761 --> 00:27:46,308 Okay. That lacked poise and I'm sorry. 426 00:27:47,643 --> 00:27:51,146 But I refuse to be irrelevant. 427 00:27:52,690 --> 00:27:55,984 It's okay. I learned something. We've got a superpower. 428 00:27:56,067 --> 00:27:57,152 You stole those?! 429 00:27:57,235 --> 00:27:59,530 You can't see me, you can't stop me. 430 00:28:01,281 --> 00:28:02,658 Mmm. 431 00:28:08,246 --> 00:28:09,831 Peel out, baby! 432 00:28:12,751 --> 00:28:15,253 Wanna hit Citibank? 433 00:28:21,051 --> 00:28:24,012 I knew we forgot something. 434 00:28:24,095 --> 00:28:26,640 We forgot it was too soon. 435 00:28:31,269 --> 00:28:34,523 I didn't hit a skunk. It was a black and white bucket. 436 00:28:34,606 --> 00:28:36,358 Then what was that smell? 437 00:28:38,485 --> 00:28:40,638 What the heck is this? 438 00:28:40,673 --> 00:28:41,814 _ 439 00:28:44,700 --> 00:28:45,909 I can't read it. 440 00:28:45,992 --> 00:28:49,496 You can eat it. It's a cake. It won't kill you. 31777

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.