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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,865 --> 00:00:11,866 (BARKING QUIETLY) 2 00:00:11,901 --> 00:00:13,734 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:13,770 --> 00:00:14,836 (YAPS) 4 00:00:14,871 --> 00:00:17,438 (PANTING) 5 00:00:17,473 --> 00:00:19,540 (SNIFFING) 6 00:00:19,576 --> 00:00:21,843 (EXCITED GIBBERISH) 7 00:00:21,878 --> 00:00:24,645 (SNIFFING) 8 00:00:24,681 --> 00:00:26,414 (CHOMPS) 9 00:00:26,449 --> 00:00:28,783 (PANICKY GASPING) 10 00:00:28,818 --> 00:00:30,451 (SNIFFS) 11 00:00:31,754 --> 00:00:32,854 (YAPS) 12 00:00:32,889 --> 00:00:34,689 Who wants popcorn... 13 00:00:34,724 --> 00:00:36,190 - Yay! - Yay! 14 00:00:36,215 --> 00:00:38,726 ...to string and put on the Christmas tree? 15 00:00:38,761 --> 00:00:40,428 - Oh. - Ah, damn it. 16 00:00:41,831 --> 00:00:44,599 (BOTH GROAN) 17 00:00:44,634 --> 00:00:47,468 Mom, I made an ornament at Sunday school. 18 00:00:47,503 --> 00:00:49,637 Oh, it's so... 19 00:00:49,672 --> 00:00:51,606 sticky. 20 00:00:51,641 --> 00:00:54,142 The Popsicle juice represents Jesus's blood. 21 00:00:54,174 --> 00:00:57,812 That would look so pretty on the back of the tree. 22 00:00:59,616 --> 00:01:01,449 KRUSTY ORNAMENT: Do not put on tree. 23 00:01:01,484 --> 00:01:03,384 May occasionally do this: 24 00:01:03,419 --> 00:01:05,419 Beep! Beep! 25 00:01:05,455 --> 00:01:06,621 Beep! 26 00:01:06,656 --> 00:01:08,856 Ooh, look! An old Santa hat. 27 00:01:08,892 --> 00:01:11,459 You know who would love to wear this? 28 00:01:11,494 --> 00:01:12,526 No one. 29 00:01:12,562 --> 00:01:14,462 The dog! 30 00:01:14,497 --> 00:01:15,529 (BARKS, WHINES) 31 00:01:15,565 --> 00:01:17,337 Quick! Lisa, take a picture. 32 00:01:17,372 --> 00:01:19,667 I don't think he wants to take a picture. 33 00:01:19,702 --> 00:01:21,702 (GRUNTS) Dogs... love... 34 00:01:21,738 --> 00:01:23,537 people clothes. 35 00:01:23,573 --> 00:01:25,439 (SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER WHINES "UH-UH") 36 00:01:25,475 --> 00:01:27,775 (BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 37 00:01:27,810 --> 00:01:30,478 (EXCITED GIBBERISH) 38 00:01:30,513 --> 00:01:31,779 Did you get a good picture? 39 00:01:31,814 --> 00:01:33,447 I don't think so. 40 00:01:33,483 --> 00:01:35,483 (REPEATS EXCITED GIBBERISH) 41 00:01:37,587 --> 00:01:39,553 ♪ ♪ 42 00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:42,723 (BARKING) 43 00:01:42,759 --> 00:01:44,725 (GASPS) He's afraid of it. 44 00:01:44,761 --> 00:01:46,827 No, he's not. 45 00:01:46,863 --> 00:01:48,663 (GROWLS, BARKS) 46 00:01:49,699 --> 00:01:51,732 (CAMERA CLICKING) 47 00:01:52,869 --> 00:01:55,703 Darn, we wasted three digital photos. 48 00:01:55,738 --> 00:01:57,505 (WHINING) 49 00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:59,674 Ugh. Well, suit yourself, spoilsport. 50 00:01:59,709 --> 00:02:01,542 You're out of the card! 51 00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:03,544 Don't worry, he's not out of the card. 52 00:02:03,579 --> 00:02:06,380 - Can we be out of the card? - Everyone's in the card! 53 00:02:06,416 --> 00:02:08,582 Okay, but not like last year. 54 00:02:08,618 --> 00:02:09,717 BART: Ay, caramba! 55 00:02:09,752 --> 00:02:11,752 ♪ Ah, jingle bell, jingle bell ♪ 56 00:02:11,788 --> 00:02:13,654 ♪ Jingle bell rock, oh ♪ 57 00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:16,490 ♪ Jingle bell rock and jingle bell rock ♪ 58 00:02:16,526 --> 00:02:18,426 ♪ A-rockin' and rockin' ♪ 59 00:02:18,461 --> 00:02:20,428 ♪ And words of the song ♪ 60 00:02:20,463 --> 00:02:22,430 ♪ Looks like I parked on the lawn ♪ 61 00:02:22,465 --> 00:02:24,632 ♪ Oh, giddyap, giddyap ♪ 62 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:26,667 ♪ Giddyap, let's go ♪ 63 00:02:26,703 --> 00:02:29,503 ♪ There's mistletoe ♪ 64 00:02:29,539 --> 00:02:31,505 ♪ There's kissin' to do ♪ 65 00:02:31,541 --> 00:02:34,475 ♪ And lots to kiss. ♪ 66 00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:38,813 (GIGGLES) Marge, you're never gonna guess what I got you. 67 00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:40,648 D'oh! Oh! 68 00:02:40,683 --> 00:02:41,749 (MUTTERS) 69 00:02:42,819 --> 00:02:43,851 Oh! 70 00:02:44,439 --> 00:02:45,853 It ate my shorts! 71 00:02:45,888 --> 00:02:49,423 Oh, now that it's happened, it's not so funny. 72 00:02:49,459 --> 00:02:51,659 Homie, we have to talk about the difference 73 00:02:51,694 --> 00:02:55,563 between gifts and household supplies. Hmm? 74 00:02:55,598 --> 00:02:56,664 Uh-oh. 75 00:02:56,699 --> 00:02:59,667 LISA (GASPS): Oh, my God! 76 00:02:59,702 --> 00:03:01,402 What's all the fu... (SCREAMS) 77 00:03:01,437 --> 00:03:02,603 (GASPS) What the... 78 00:03:02,638 --> 00:03:05,506 That dog better have a good explanation! 79 00:03:05,541 --> 00:03:06,807 Um... I did it. 80 00:03:06,843 --> 00:03:08,609 Hit me with the newspaper. 81 00:03:08,644 --> 00:03:10,611 You know I get my news online. 82 00:03:10,646 --> 00:03:11,712 Guys... 83 00:03:11,748 --> 00:03:14,648 what is Santa's Little Helper doing? 84 00:03:14,684 --> 00:03:17,618 I think something is very wrong with him. 85 00:03:17,653 --> 00:03:20,821 I think maybe we should take him to a dog psychologist. 86 00:03:20,857 --> 00:03:23,491 Dog psychologist, eh? 87 00:03:23,526 --> 00:03:25,426 Get off the couch. Get off. 88 00:03:25,461 --> 00:03:26,560 Get off! 89 00:03:26,596 --> 00:03:27,762 (HOWLS) 90 00:03:27,797 --> 00:03:29,764 Dad, I know what you're thinking. 91 00:03:29,799 --> 00:03:31,766 It's not that. 92 00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:35,536 Elaine Wolff is giving a free lecture tomorrow night. 93 00:03:35,571 --> 00:03:36,804 She's a legend. 94 00:03:36,839 --> 00:03:38,539 Oh, not tomorrow. 95 00:03:38,574 --> 00:03:41,442 Tomorrow's UFC fight 243. 96 00:03:41,477 --> 00:03:44,445 Why do you care so much about one stupid fight? 97 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,580 'Cause he paid 60 bucks to watch it. 98 00:03:46,616 --> 00:03:49,417 (GASPS) 60 bucks to watch a fight? 99 00:03:49,452 --> 00:03:51,652 Actually, 70. I got it in HD. 100 00:03:51,687 --> 00:03:53,821 We don't even have an HDTV. 101 00:03:53,856 --> 00:03:55,856 I wanted the pay-per-view operator 102 00:03:55,892 --> 00:03:58,759 to think I was a big shot. 103 00:03:58,795 --> 00:04:00,061 (CRIES SOFTLY) 104 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,630 LISA (DISTORTED, ECHOING): He's staring at that smudge... 105 00:04:02,665 --> 00:04:04,532 smudge... smudge. 106 00:04:04,567 --> 00:04:06,534 (DISTORTED, ECHOING): What's wrong with that dog... 107 00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:08,539 dog... dog? 108 00:04:08,574 --> 00:04:09,770 GRAMPA: I need my pill... 109 00:04:09,806 --> 00:04:11,572 pill... pill! 110 00:04:11,607 --> 00:04:13,574 That's three pills! 111 00:04:13,609 --> 00:04:15,576 ♪ ♪ 112 00:04:17,847 --> 00:04:19,580 (BARKS) 113 00:04:19,615 --> 00:04:21,682 (WHINING) 114 00:04:22,752 --> 00:04:23,747 (CHUCKLES) 115 00:04:23,753 --> 00:04:25,619 I love playing Candy Crush. 116 00:04:25,655 --> 00:04:27,521 (GRUNTING) 117 00:04:27,557 --> 00:04:29,523 Dad, I need to tell you something, 118 00:04:29,559 --> 00:04:31,525 but I've come to the sad conclusion 119 00:04:31,561 --> 00:04:34,528 that you have difficulty hearing the female voice. 120 00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:37,498 Aw, I love you, too, honey. 121 00:04:37,533 --> 00:04:38,566 (LOW GRUNT) 122 00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:40,634 Therefore, I have deputized Bart 123 00:04:40,670 --> 00:04:42,570 to speak for me. 124 00:04:42,605 --> 00:04:44,405 How you doin'? 125 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,408 "Father, I believe you're an honorable man." 126 00:04:47,443 --> 00:04:48,676 (SPUTTERS) Really? 127 00:04:48,711 --> 00:04:50,511 (CHUCKLES) Okay. 128 00:04:50,546 --> 00:04:53,681 "In times of peril, you, um... 129 00:04:53,716 --> 00:04:55,479 even... event..." 130 00:04:55,514 --> 00:04:56,617 (WHISPERS): "Eventually." 131 00:04:56,652 --> 00:04:58,652 "...eventually do the right thing, 132 00:04:58,688 --> 00:05:01,522 "but Santa's Little Helper is in crisis, 133 00:05:01,557 --> 00:05:04,492 and 'eventually' may be too late." 134 00:05:04,527 --> 00:05:06,427 Aw. Well said, boy. 135 00:05:06,462 --> 00:05:09,563 And, Lisa, for writing it, you win my highest honor, 136 00:05:09,599 --> 00:05:12,566 a hearty Homer hug. Mm. 137 00:05:12,602 --> 00:05:14,368 Aw... 138 00:05:14,403 --> 00:05:16,370 Now we party. 139 00:05:17,507 --> 00:05:18,706 - (SNORTING) - Ew! 140 00:05:18,741 --> 00:05:20,641 Why do you eat candy that way? 141 00:05:20,676 --> 00:05:22,743 - I already brushed my teeth. - Oh. 142 00:05:22,744 --> 00:05:24,805 _ 143 00:05:29,452 --> 00:05:30,484 (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK) 144 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,486 (CLEARS THROAT) Good evening. 145 00:05:32,522 --> 00:05:36,390 "The more I spend time with dogs, the more I realize 146 00:05:36,425 --> 00:05:39,560 that I entirely prefer them to people." 147 00:05:39,595 --> 00:05:40,661 (LAUGHTER) 148 00:05:40,696 --> 00:05:41,829 No, no, I'm serious. 149 00:05:41,864 --> 00:05:44,431 I really despise you. 150 00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:46,834 Despise us? I... Hey, as the owner of a dog, 151 00:05:46,869 --> 00:05:50,504 a tiger and a dolphin, I am highly offended. 152 00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:51,672 Highly! 153 00:05:51,707 --> 00:05:53,107 Okay, first of all, 154 00:05:53,113 --> 00:05:55,743 I hate that you call yourselves "owners." 155 00:05:55,778 --> 00:05:58,479 You own living beings? 156 00:05:58,514 --> 00:06:00,447 (SCOFFS) Nice. 157 00:06:00,483 --> 00:06:01,615 (GROANS SOFTLY) 158 00:06:01,651 --> 00:06:03,617 (PHONE RINGS) 159 00:06:03,653 --> 00:06:05,352 (QUIETLY): Uh, hello? 160 00:06:05,388 --> 00:06:08,355 Clayton, I can't talk right now. 161 00:06:08,391 --> 00:06:09,456 I've left her. 162 00:06:09,492 --> 00:06:11,559 I have left my wife. 163 00:06:11,594 --> 00:06:12,760 What? Really? 164 00:06:12,795 --> 00:06:16,392 You and I have loved each other since primary school. 165 00:06:16,427 --> 00:06:17,531 She knew that, 166 00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:20,568 so I think she was relieved. 167 00:06:20,603 --> 00:06:21,669 Oh, Clay. 168 00:06:21,704 --> 00:06:24,505 I'd stopped allowing myself to hope. 169 00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:27,441 But, uh... I think I got to call you right back. 170 00:06:27,476 --> 00:06:29,410 No, no! Stay on the call. 171 00:06:29,445 --> 00:06:30,678 We're invested. 172 00:06:30,713 --> 00:06:32,947 I have to go. I'm giving a lecture. 173 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,515 Wait! Wait! 174 00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:36,050 We're getting married, right? 175 00:06:36,102 --> 00:06:37,685 Yeah, sure, sure, yeah, whatever. 176 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:38,786 Wait! 177 00:06:38,821 --> 00:06:40,421 Oh. Yes. 178 00:06:40,456 --> 00:06:42,756 You don't deserve dogs! 179 00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:44,625 They sniff out your diseases 180 00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:46,860 and comfort you when you ride planes. 181 00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:51,765 And I constantly hear: "How do I get my dog to listen?" 182 00:06:51,801 --> 00:06:54,602 - Choke him till he taps out! - Oh, good God! 183 00:06:54,637 --> 00:06:56,637 Always what can your dog do for you. 184 00:06:56,672 --> 00:06:58,872 Never once has somebody asked: 185 00:06:58,908 --> 00:07:03,577 "What is my dog trying to say?" 186 00:07:04,614 --> 00:07:05,679 Bad! Bad! 187 00:07:05,715 --> 00:07:07,715 All of you, bad! 188 00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,718 This was the worst extension class I ever took. My God. 189 00:07:10,753 --> 00:07:12,720 It was even worse than flower arranging. 190 00:07:12,755 --> 00:07:15,456 I mean, who can say where baby's breath should go? 191 00:07:15,491 --> 00:07:17,758 Huh. Not I. Tell you that much. 192 00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:19,360 Uh, ma'am... 193 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:20,494 - Down. - (WHIMPERS) 194 00:07:20,529 --> 00:07:22,463 It's okay. We're friendly. 195 00:07:22,498 --> 00:07:24,565 Ma'am, I know you were once 196 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,668 a young, inquisitive girl like me. 197 00:07:27,703 --> 00:07:28,769 Mm, not like you, no. 198 00:07:28,804 --> 00:07:30,704 I knew when to keep quiet. 199 00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:34,114 (CRYING): Please. My dog is having a breakdown. 200 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:36,710 So if these tears mean nothing to you... 201 00:07:36,746 --> 00:07:37,845 (SOBBING) 202 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,415 ...help our dog, or let's do this! 203 00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:43,484 Hold my pearls! 204 00:07:44,187 --> 00:07:45,552 Look, I'm sorry, 205 00:07:45,588 --> 00:07:46,620 I just can't d... 206 00:07:46,656 --> 00:07:48,722 (GASPS): Oh, my. 207 00:07:48,758 --> 00:07:50,858 (WHINES, PANTS) 208 00:07:50,893 --> 00:07:52,593 You poor boy. 209 00:07:52,628 --> 00:07:54,728 You've got a story to tell. 210 00:07:54,764 --> 00:07:58,632 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 211 00:07:58,668 --> 00:08:00,734 Could you teach us to do what you do? 212 00:08:01,066 --> 00:08:03,137 To see the world through his eyes? 213 00:08:03,162 --> 00:08:05,339 Oh, not through his eyes. 214 00:08:05,374 --> 00:08:06,573 That's the point. 215 00:08:06,609 --> 00:08:09,476 A dog's dominant sense is smell. 216 00:08:09,512 --> 00:08:12,646 (SNIFFS) He sees the world with his nose, 217 00:08:12,682 --> 00:08:16,684 and his nose sees so much more than our eyes. 218 00:08:16,719 --> 00:08:19,820 For instance, we see a lamppost. 219 00:08:19,855 --> 00:08:24,792 Your dog sees everyone who's ever been here. 220 00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:26,794 ♪ ♪ 221 00:08:34,704 --> 00:08:37,705 (EXCITED GIBBERISH) 222 00:08:39,742 --> 00:08:41,575 - (THUNDER CRASHES) - (GROANS) 223 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:46,480 Hmm. He really likes you. 224 00:08:46,515 --> 00:08:48,415 He adores me. Knows I can help him. 225 00:08:48,451 --> 00:08:49,683 Wants me to love him back. 226 00:08:49,719 --> 00:08:50,851 But I can't. 227 00:08:50,886 --> 00:08:53,854 A woman can only scoop so much poop. 228 00:08:55,691 --> 00:08:56,757 Stay. 229 00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:58,525 Good stay. 230 00:08:59,862 --> 00:09:01,662 ♪ ♪ 231 00:09:03,766 --> 00:09:05,366 Mm... 232 00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:10,104 Come on, get to the part that helps us. 233 00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:12,339 I'm trying. In the acknowledgements, 234 00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:15,542 she thanks all 101 dalmatians! 235 00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:17,544 Well, at least I can wash this filthy hat. 236 00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:18,589 (GROWLS) 237 00:09:18,614 --> 00:09:20,447 - Ow! - (HOMER SHRIEKS) 238 00:09:20,483 --> 00:09:21,648 (STAMMERING) 239 00:09:21,684 --> 00:09:24,385 Bad dog! Very bad dog! 240 00:09:24,420 --> 00:09:25,652 Crap dog! 241 00:09:25,688 --> 00:09:27,654 (WHINING) 242 00:09:28,266 --> 00:09:30,424 Lisa, quick! Get the first aid kit! 243 00:09:30,459 --> 00:09:32,693 But we don't have a first aid kit. 244 00:09:32,728 --> 00:09:35,496 - Look under the tree. - Oh. 245 00:09:40,006 --> 00:09:41,706 (WHINES) 246 00:09:41,742 --> 00:09:44,542 Well, if he's staying outside, I'm staying outside. 247 00:09:44,578 --> 00:09:46,151 You are not staying outside! 248 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,562 You are not the boss here! 249 00:09:47,598 --> 00:09:51,299 Well, I am, and he paid me to tell you what to do. 250 00:09:51,335 --> 00:09:53,301 This boy is sleeping outside. 251 00:09:53,337 --> 00:09:54,403 Yes, sir. 252 00:09:55,706 --> 00:09:57,539 (MARGE SIGHS) 253 00:09:57,574 --> 00:10:00,575 - What are we going to do? - Aw, no problem, sweetie. 254 00:10:00,611 --> 00:10:03,311 There are a lot of dog doctors out there. 255 00:10:03,347 --> 00:10:04,356 (HUMMING) 256 00:10:04,357 --> 00:10:07,037 _ 257 00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:11,553 Hey. Hello. 258 00:10:11,588 --> 00:10:13,974 Oh, look at this handsome guy. 259 00:10:14,009 --> 00:10:15,424 What's up with you, fella? 260 00:10:15,459 --> 00:10:17,459 Um, he bit my mom. 261 00:10:17,494 --> 00:10:19,294 Oh, I see. Well, we've had a cancellation, 262 00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:21,496 so if you like, we can just put him down right now. 263 00:10:21,532 --> 00:10:22,597 - What?! - No! 264 00:10:22,633 --> 00:10:25,333 I-I don't think that's necessary. 265 00:10:25,369 --> 00:10:27,436 Oh, no, I'm afraid once a biter always a biter. 266 00:10:27,471 --> 00:10:29,337 Unless you, like, train 'em or something, 267 00:10:29,373 --> 00:10:31,373 but that's... that's crazy hard. 268 00:10:31,408 --> 00:10:33,341 Would you like a minute to say goodbye? 269 00:10:33,377 --> 00:10:35,093 No way. We're leaving. 270 00:10:35,128 --> 00:10:37,679 And I don't even want to look at you. 271 00:10:37,715 --> 00:10:39,614 Hmm. I feel like the Pixar logo. 272 00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:41,349 - (CLATTERING) - D'oh! 273 00:10:41,385 --> 00:10:43,452 What are we going to do with the dog? 274 00:10:43,487 --> 00:10:45,721 I guess he's just gonna have to stay in the doghouse 275 00:10:45,756 --> 00:10:48,490 I built for him. 276 00:10:48,525 --> 00:10:50,492 - D'oh! - (DOORBELL RINGS) 277 00:10:51,461 --> 00:10:54,296 Hey-a, kids. The vet reported your dog as a biter, 278 00:10:54,331 --> 00:10:57,399 so I'm supposed to wait until animal control gets here 279 00:10:57,434 --> 00:10:58,633 to take him away. 280 00:10:58,669 --> 00:10:59,735 - (GASPS) - What? 281 00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:01,703 So, uh, well, while we wait, 282 00:11:01,739 --> 00:11:04,339 uh, you want to play Simon Says? 283 00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:06,274 Simon says don't kill our dog. 284 00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:07,676 Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm Simon. 285 00:11:07,711 --> 00:11:09,344 (LAUGHS): You're-you're not Simon. 286 00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:12,581 (MOANS) Dad! They're coming for our dog! 287 00:11:12,616 --> 00:11:16,718 I won't let you, you... you big blue balloon. 288 00:11:16,754 --> 00:11:20,422 Ooh, I like the image. Hey, imagine me in a parade, huh? 289 00:11:20,457 --> 00:11:21,623 Oh, boy. 290 00:11:24,762 --> 00:11:26,428 Oh, darn it. 291 00:11:26,463 --> 00:11:27,629 You call them and tell them 292 00:11:27,664 --> 00:11:30,599 we are not letting you take our dog. 293 00:11:30,634 --> 00:11:32,634 I can't cancel. They're already on the app. 294 00:11:32,669 --> 00:11:35,303 It says they're six minutes away. See? 295 00:11:35,339 --> 00:11:36,738 Uh-huh. 296 00:11:36,774 --> 00:11:38,473 Oh, they missed a turn. 297 00:11:38,509 --> 00:11:39,875 Oh, now they're doing a U-ey. 298 00:11:39,957 --> 00:11:43,512 Geez, hope this guy euthanizes better than he drives. 299 00:11:43,547 --> 00:11:45,313 Dad, quick, take our dog 300 00:11:45,349 --> 00:11:47,315 and drive as far and fast as you can. 301 00:11:47,351 --> 00:11:48,517 - (WHISPERS): Yes, sir. - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 302 00:11:48,552 --> 00:11:49,651 (ALL GASP) 303 00:11:49,686 --> 00:11:51,620 Oh, God, it's too late. 304 00:11:52,555 --> 00:11:53,622 Dr. Wolff? 305 00:11:53,657 --> 00:11:55,657 Look, I need to tell you this one thing. 306 00:11:55,692 --> 00:11:57,592 Something I saw in your dog's eyes. 307 00:11:57,628 --> 00:12:00,295 He's at breaking point, and unless he has 308 00:12:00,330 --> 00:12:03,532 some kind of catharsis, something terrible could happen. 309 00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:05,267 He bit my mom. 310 00:12:05,302 --> 00:12:06,501 It is gratifying to be right. 311 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:09,938 Oh, how awful. 312 00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:12,541 Animal control is coming to get him right now. 313 00:12:12,576 --> 00:12:16,278 You can't stop them. They got sticks with wire loops. 314 00:12:16,313 --> 00:12:17,679 Kids, pack his things. 315 00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:21,349 And I'll need this. This dog is coming with me. 316 00:12:21,385 --> 00:12:23,418 Well, I am not leaving here empty-handed. 317 00:12:23,453 --> 00:12:25,420 - Make me a sandwich. - No. 318 00:12:25,455 --> 00:12:26,555 Okay, all right. 319 00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:28,623 Being a police chief really sucks. 320 00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:33,295 - Here you go. - (SNIFFLES) 321 00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,563 (MOANS) 322 00:12:34,598 --> 00:12:36,565 Listen, I packed you some biscuits. 323 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,268 And even though I deplore the killing of all animals, 324 00:12:40,304 --> 00:12:43,305 when you come to the salami, it's from me. 325 00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:47,542 (MOANS) Now who will chase squirrels with me? 326 00:12:47,578 --> 00:12:48,610 (WHINES) 327 00:12:50,547 --> 00:12:52,514 (SIREN WAILING) 328 00:12:52,549 --> 00:12:54,516 (GROANS) You better get going. 329 00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:56,718 Wait. I'm not an emotional guy, but... 330 00:13:00,324 --> 00:13:01,456 Mwah. 331 00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:05,729 (CHUCKLES) Get a doghouse, you two. 332 00:13:08,047 --> 00:13:09,437 _ 333 00:13:09,438 --> 00:13:10,438 (DOGS BARKING) 334 00:13:13,243 --> 00:13:17,245 Here. Have some Snausage water as you watch this video. 335 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,214 NARRATOR: Here at the Institute, there are no bad dogs. 336 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,216 In answer to the age-old question, 337 00:13:22,252 --> 00:13:26,054 "Who's a good dog?" You are. You are. 338 00:13:26,089 --> 00:13:28,256 Relax in our pile of wet dead leaves 339 00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:31,225 or enjoy fine dining at The Dropped Porkchop. 340 00:13:31,261 --> 00:13:34,495 And here's our guarantee to you: no fireworks. 341 00:13:34,531 --> 00:13:37,231 We'll have you feeling better in no time. 342 00:13:37,267 --> 00:13:40,101 Well, uh, there's nothing physically wrong with you, 343 00:13:40,136 --> 00:13:43,204 but to establish trust, I'll sleep in your den tonight. 344 00:13:46,209 --> 00:13:50,478 Well, a little bit of, uh, reading before bed? (CHUCKLES) 345 00:13:50,513 --> 00:13:52,180 (SQUEAKING) 346 00:13:52,215 --> 00:13:53,481 (SIGHS) 347 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,251 ♪ ♪ 348 00:13:57,287 --> 00:13:59,153 (WHINES, BARKS) 349 00:13:59,189 --> 00:14:01,322 "Dog having nightmare, 350 00:14:01,358 --> 00:14:05,059 perhaps about the root of it all." 351 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,062 ♪ ♪ 352 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:34,155 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 353 00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:35,456 (BARKS) 354 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,192 Oh, you poor thing. 355 00:14:38,228 --> 00:14:41,195 Have some Lambien. It'll help you sleep. 356 00:14:42,432 --> 00:14:44,465 (MOANS CONTENTEDLY) 357 00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:50,505 Dad, am I gonna get my dog back? 358 00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:52,407 (LAUGHS): Of course. 359 00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:56,459 But just in case, I know this isn't the kind of thing 360 00:14:56,494 --> 00:14:59,380 a father says to his son, but let's pray. 361 00:14:59,416 --> 00:15:03,251 Almighty patron saint of dogs, Saint Bernard... 362 00:15:03,286 --> 00:15:06,354 - Oh, can I join in? - Sure. 363 00:15:07,242 --> 00:15:09,120 - I'll pray, too. - Wow. 364 00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:11,259 Losing our dog, possibly forever, 365 00:15:11,294 --> 00:15:13,027 has really brought us together. 366 00:15:13,063 --> 00:15:14,328 No! 367 00:15:14,364 --> 00:15:16,264 Sorry, sorry. Back to the prayer. 368 00:15:16,299 --> 00:15:18,466 Okay, now I need to see what set you off. 369 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:23,137 How do you feel about Marge? 370 00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,373 (SNIFFING, PANTING) 371 00:15:25,408 --> 00:15:28,076 - (THUNDER CRASHES) - (WHIMPERING) 372 00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:34,182 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 373 00:15:34,217 --> 00:15:35,483 (SIGHS) 374 00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,486 She is comfort. Hmm. 375 00:15:38,821 --> 00:15:41,389 - So, what happened? - CLAY: Elaine? 376 00:15:41,424 --> 00:15:42,823 Hello? 377 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:46,427 The car is here. Tuscany awaits. 378 00:15:46,462 --> 00:15:47,828 Oh, Clay. 379 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,764 Ugh, I should have called. 380 00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:52,767 Darling, I've done something impulsive. 381 00:15:52,802 --> 00:15:56,404 You know how Mother always wanted you to wear her ring, 382 00:15:56,439 --> 00:15:59,507 but she died at a time when we had no hope. 383 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,743 And in my heartache, I let them bury her with it. 384 00:16:02,779 --> 00:16:07,581 So I dug her up and, uh, will you marry me? 385 00:16:07,617 --> 00:16:09,650 I know "exhumed" 386 00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:13,554 isn't usually the most romantic word, but... 387 00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:17,425 Oh, Clay. I can't marry you now. 388 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:19,560 But I can meet you in Tuscany in a few weeks. 389 00:16:19,595 --> 00:16:20,761 I might not be there. 390 00:16:20,797 --> 00:16:24,331 I can't compete with a wagging tail. 391 00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,399 Goodbye, Clay. 392 00:16:25,435 --> 00:16:28,702 I want you to know I'm already over you. 393 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:32,339 - (WHIMPERING) - Oh, no, no, not your fault. 394 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,475 Human nonsense. Let's get back to work. 395 00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:36,477 (CRIES) 396 00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:42,616 Today, I want you to interact with the pack. 397 00:16:42,652 --> 00:16:45,553 Mingle. Sniff a butt you don't know. 398 00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:51,826 - (SNIFFING) - (GROWLING) 399 00:16:51,861 --> 00:16:53,828 - (BARKS) - (YELPING) 400 00:16:53,863 --> 00:16:56,530 Okay, interesting. 401 00:16:56,566 --> 00:16:58,365 Let's explore that. 402 00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:04,705 (WHIMPERING) 403 00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,707 (BARKING) 404 00:17:06,742 --> 00:17:09,410 You buried this here. Why? 405 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,346 Is this the key that unlocks your psyche? 406 00:17:12,381 --> 00:17:14,348 Bark once for "yes," bark twice 407 00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:16,484 for "that's too simplistic a view of canine psychology." 408 00:17:16,519 --> 00:17:17,685 (BARKS TWICE) 409 00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:21,622 Oh, hi. Is that our dog? 410 00:17:21,657 --> 00:17:25,559 (WHISPERS): Or one that looks just like it to fool the kids? 411 00:17:25,595 --> 00:17:28,401 (GASPS) You're back! Aw. 412 00:17:28,436 --> 00:17:30,364 Where did this come from? 413 00:17:30,399 --> 00:17:33,534 Uh, I would have to say the North Pole? 414 00:17:33,569 --> 00:17:35,520 Wait, Dad? That was the hat I was wearing 415 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,556 the night we got Santa's Little Helper, remember? 416 00:17:38,592 --> 00:17:39,691 - Go! Go! Come on, boy! - Go, Santa's Little Helper! 417 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,559 - Run! Run! - Come on! Get that rabbit! 418 00:17:41,595 --> 00:17:43,862 ANNOUNCER: Dog of War coming up fast on the outside... 419 00:17:43,907 --> 00:17:46,732 Aw, can we keep him, Dad? Please? 420 00:17:46,747 --> 00:17:49,734 But he's a loser. He's pathetic. 421 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,736 He's... 422 00:17:52,684 --> 00:17:54,072 a Simpson. 423 00:17:54,131 --> 00:17:56,741 Santa's Little Helper was a racing dog? 424 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:59,644 (SCOFFS) Not much of one. Even I could beat him. 425 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,346 Oh, it's all clear now. 426 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,281 Your dog has PTSD. 427 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,582 And he has to confront his abuser, 428 00:18:04,618 --> 00:18:06,651 and he's gonna do it right now. 429 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:10,388 Actually, we're in the middle of a holiday brunch, so... 430 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,357 But I-I'm with you. 431 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,758 Uh, goodbye, everybody. 432 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:17,529 So, how many balls are we allowed of croquembouche? 433 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,332 Let's see if they have HBO GO. 434 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,734 I've wanted to watch Euphoria, 435 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,470 but I'm embarrassed to have it in my viewing history. 436 00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,135 _ 437 00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:33,511 Les Moore? Greyhound trainer? 438 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:36,347 - Yeah, that's me. - Dog abuser! 439 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,750 Can I offer you a drink to throw in my face? 440 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,752 - Yeah, I'd like that. - Yes, I bet you would. 441 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,754 I was being sarcastic, naturally. 442 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,355 (GRUNTS) 443 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,424 Not all trainers are monsters. 444 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,561 Yeah, I remember this mutt. Uh, Santa's Little Helper. 445 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,563 Yeah! Hey, what'd you rename him? 446 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,332 - We didn't. - Boy, are you lazy. 447 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,734 He was born to one of the fastest in the business, 448 00:18:56,770 --> 00:18:58,336 She Biscuit. 449 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,338 Oh, he was her favorite. 450 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,440 And boy, did he love her. 451 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,409 That's how we learned how fast he was. 452 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:07,378 So naturally, we took him from his mother forever. 453 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,581 - (LOUD SLAP) - Did you just slap me again? 454 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,516 - That was me. - You cut the line. 455 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,518 - I want to slap. (GRUNTS) - Ow. 456 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,619 - (GRUNTING) - Ow. Ow. 457 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,621 - Here, Maggie. - Ow. 458 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,690 There. Now we've all had a turn. 459 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,491 - Not quite. - (GROWLING) 460 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,627 Ow! Okay, I get it. 461 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:26,497 Boy, suddenly, the guy who tortures dogs is the bad guy. 462 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,700 (WHIMPERING) 463 00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,602 Now what does he want? 464 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,737 ("THE WAY WE WERE" PLAYING) 465 00:19:34,462 --> 00:19:35,740 Son of a gun. 466 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,375 Where's he going? 467 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,443 Uh... (CLEARS THROAT) 468 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,345 To his, uh, to his mother. 469 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:43,481 Oh, I love happy endings. 470 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,450 ♪ ♪ 471 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:04,369 ♪ Memories ♪ 472 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:08,606 ♪ Light the corners of my mind... ♪ 473 00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,442 He'll be all right now. (CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES) 474 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,444 Thank you so much. 475 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,446 Oh, you're welcome. 476 00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,582 (SIGHS) I better be getting home. 477 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,485 I've got 20 dogs to walk. (CHUCKLES) 478 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,521 I could, uh, use some help. 479 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,556 (MARGE GRUMBLES SOFTLY) 480 00:20:26,332 --> 00:20:27,363 Fine. 481 00:20:29,846 --> 00:20:34,989 It's so great everyone in this family worked out their issues. 482 00:21:26,464 --> 00:21:28,418 _ 483 00:21:30,044 --> 00:21:31,112 Shh. 484 00:21:34,217 --> 00:21:37,184 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 32733

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