Original subtitles

[music playing]

What was that?

I don't know.

Hello, I'm Helen Gregory, and I'm

here to sell you this property.

How's life at the big bull bar?

Great.

Getting a lot of your disgruntled clientele.

You know Simon Westlake, right?

You think Helen's his type

Female, warm blooded, walks upright.

Yup.

Of course, the only time youspend on this side of the bar

will be when you're enjoyinga bevvy or two after work.

You wouldn't want me to serve?

Oh, no.

No, your job will be purely financial.

Your pub versus mine for 10 grand?

That's right.

You don't really thinkyou're gonna win on that thing,

do you?

[shouting]

Come on, come on!

[shouting]

Jack Jaffers wins the race.

You OK?

Stop complaining.

Yeah, must hurt to lose.

Again.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Woohoo!

Like clockwork.

Yeah, good boy.

Jack.

My guess is, this has beengoing on for about three weeks.

Oh, a couple of months, on and off.

Well, it looks like we're busted, mate.

It's all over.

Oh, well, we'll always have Tennant Creek.

You took my dog to Tennant Creek?

Loves the car.

Smell of that new leather.

Great on the golf course, too, actually.

Just get your own dog, Simon.

Go to the pet shop, and get yourself a puppy.

Leave mine alone, all right?

Jack, funny, isn't it, eh?

Here we are, competing businesses.

And now we're competing forthe affections of a dog.

You're not still cheesed offabout the camel race, are you?

Oh, no, of course not.

The dent of the ego aside, it was

a bloody good publicity stunt.

My takings went right up.

Buzz around town, Jack--

here we go-- is that you and I are rivals.

I reckon we should milk thatrivalry for all it's worth.

I'm that getting back on the camel,

if that's what you're thinking.

No, why don't we mix it up a bit?

Hmm?

How about a friendly game of footy?

[theme music]

THEME SONG: Take me to thatopen, silent space, where

the air breathes your name.

Lead me underneath the starlight sky.

All our troubles fade away.

Hold me now as the goldensunlight runs across your face.

La la la la.

The loyalty of a cat.

Oh, new outfit.

Very cute.

What are you doing?

The Victoria's Secret website.

I'm doing tax, Mike.

And you're looking at ladies in lingerie?

Hey, nice reflexes.

You're on the team.

What?

This Saturday, Baa Baa Ramsversus the Big Bull Bar Bulls.

I'm putting a teamtogether, and you're on it.

Oh, sure.

Toby, we're working Saturday.

Sorry, Jack.

Well, I've got no bookings.

We're setting up a booth at the airport.

We did that last weekend and got nobody.

Come on, I'm gonna need you guys out there.

Sorry.

No, actually we will play.

Actually.

We won't play.

Then I will.

Count me in, Jack.

All right, I'll leave you two to sort it out.

Jack, you're looking forsomeone to play back pocket?

Yeah, you know someone?

The best and fairest, DallasPanthers last two years.

Yeah, who?

Me.

All right.

There's no rule against girls, is there?

I don't know.

I'm your man.

Yeah, all right.

[honking]

You just stay where you are.

[honking]

Oh, there's my ride.

What are you doing with him?

Confidential.

I love that car.

Yeah, you're not the only one.

See you later.

Yeah.

She's caught your disease.

[barking]

I'll take it.

Don't you want to look at the rest of the place

before you make a decision?

Well, it's got the view of the course.

Of course.

Right.

Then what then?

It's $100,000 outside your budget.

Yeah, but I like it.

It's got the right vibe, you know?

It just feels right.

And it's so bloody clean.

Oh, yeah.

You know, you could sterilizesurgical instruments on that.

I love that smell offresh paint and new carpet.

Really?

Mind you, you can't beatfreshly laundered sheets.

Do you play golf?

No, no.

Never.

Then today's the first dayof the rest of your life.

Step back.

Now, what we are is a pendulum, OK?

What we're doing is we're cutting the grass.

All right? - Uh-huh.

Cutting the grass.

All right?

Yeah.

Now, picture the ball on thegreen right next to the hole.

Cutting the grass.

OK, the grass.

I'm cutting the grass.

You're a natural.

[chuckling]

All right, the deal is, I'mplaying center-half forward,

nowhere else.

I'm not running for anything.

It's too bloody hot.

What good's a center-halfforward who doesn't run?

I'm not running.

Oh, I supposed you're not handballing, either.

Hey, your window's down, Jack.

That's not very safe.

Wow.

- I guess I'll think about it.- Good.

Well, while you're thinking about it,

I'll need you to help me with something.

What?

Thanks for doing this, Jack.

Don't thank me yet.

What are we doing?

We're helping a mate.

I work with him out at the mines.

He's a good bloke.

I'm counting on you to win methis game this weekend, mate.

Yeah, yeah.

You really don't like Simon Westlake, do you?

Not a question of not liking him.

He gets up your nose, though.

Doesn't he?

Amon!

Amon?

Yeah, he's around here somewhere.

Amon!

Amon?

Amon?

Hey, Amon.

Amon Fitzsimmons, this is Jack Jaffers.

Hey, mate.

Looking a bit unsteadyon your feet there, mate.

Oh, nothing that a pint of Guinness can't fix.

[chuckling]

Amon, mate.

I'll call Jess.

Amon!

Overstayed your visa, eh?

I had to jump a fence when they came for me.

We're gonna have to get him out of town.

- We? - You said you'd help.

- No, I didn't. - Yeah, you did.

Jack, he's got a girlfriend in Darwin.

He just wants to say goodbyeto her before he gets deported.

What does it matter to you?

He's my mate.

He needs a proper bed, andhe needs to see a doctor.

He can't stay here, Jack.

Please?

Oh, you're back.

Yup.

I just sold a house to Simon Westlake.

Hmm, congratulations.

Hmm.

And we had round of golf, and then

we lunched at the country club.

Oh, and he's asked me to goalumpire for the grudge match

between you two.

It's just a friendly, Helen.

Yeah, that's what he said.

You've been usurped, mate.

Hey, Jack.

What's the problem?

Oh, Matt.

Um, I need you to see someone in my room.

Yeah.

You seem to be sayingI'm not pulling my weight.

That's crap, and you know it.

It's 10% off on weekends, mate.

Look, I don't give a stuffif you play on Saturday.

All I'm saying is that I will be at the airport,

trying to drum up some business.

There you go, fellas.

How many bookings did we have last time?

Doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

Welcome to the Big Bull Bar, fellas.

Now, listen, I don't mind youdrinking after the game, right?

In fact, drink all you like.

Hey, is that Harry Flemmingfrom the Dennington Rockets?

Yeah.

The sneaky bastard's brought in pros.

Afternoon.

You're putting too muchweight on your back foot.

Right.

And you've played golf how many times?

OK.

All right, Rusty, fetch.

OK, fetch.

He's hired professionals.

What do you mean, professionals?

They're not AFL, but theyget paid to play football.

And they won the flag last year.

You know about this?

I sold him a house, Jack.

I'm not his chairman of selectors.

So what are you gonna do?

I dunno, mate.

Well, the Watts brothersmight help even things up a bit.

Are they any good?

Mate, you won't be disappointed.

Pass me the nail gun, will you?

When did you last slave die off?

Just pass me the gun.

You want the gun, eh?

Well, Baz, you got the gun, brother.

There you go.

You idiot, what are you doing?

There you go.

You got it.

This is my flannel!

Mum gave me this for Christmas!

[laughter]

Book 'em.

Dougie.

G'day, Doug.

Hey, Jack.

- How is he? - Yeah, he's fine.

I've stitched him up, and I've--

I've put him on a course of antibiotics,

and he just needs to restfor a couple of days,

and he'll be fine. - Right.

- He's sleeping now. - Great.

Hey, Darren tell me about what's going on.

Yeah, and you're fine with that?

Am I fine with what?

- Good man. - All right.

I'll see you later. - Yeah.

Hey, and Matt? - Yeah.

You play footy?

No, not since under 11s.

Great, you're on the team.

We're playing the Bulls this Saturday.

I'll call you about training.Thanks.

Hang on, what?

Um--

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, Nat.

Hi.

Hey, hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Nice lemons.

Sure.

Um--

- So you're on the team, too?- Yup.

Yeah, I'm on the team.

What, are you on the team?

Back pocket.

What sort of footy game is this?

Excuse me.

OK.

Yeah, that's not going anywhere.

No.

Ellie, you didn't put grills along the side.

Deadlocks.

Grills would have been better.

This isn't Baghdad, Hugh.

We got broken into.

It happens to everybody.

Oh, I've been looking for that.

What happens when anintruder gets inside the house,

and he goes at you with this?

All right, all right.

Well, um, I'll put the tools away.

Here, take a swing at me.

With this?

Yeah, come on.

Oh, come on!

Like-- like you mean it!

[grunting]

I could've crushed your windpipewith the four fingers of death!

Could you teach me how to do that?

Maybe.

I can't believe this.

Count yourself lucky you'renot the only girl on the team.

[whistle blows]

Welcome to hell.

All right, on my whistle, 24 push-ups.

[whistle blows]

Go!

Come on, put some grunt into it.

This is a football team.

It's not the collection of the CWA!

There's only one girl onthis team, and it's not you.

[whistle blowing]

Come on, class, run.

Put a bounce in, if you want to.

Good work.

Nice, Jack, very nice.

Come on.

Pick it up.

Come on!

But a few bounces in.

Go on, Darren.

Go on, Sven.

Practice your bouncing.

Don't blow it.

Nice.

Go on, pick it up, Sven.

Somebody pick it up for him.

Come on.

Hey, you two!

[whistle blowing]

Looking good, Jack.

Looking good, mate.

Darren Ratcliffe?

Yeah.

Stephen Penfold, immigration.

Mind if we have a word?

Sure.

Matt, what's that about, you reckon?

I don't know.

They are professionals.

We are the underdogs.

So we got a real fight on our hands.

Yeah.

Sort of takes me back tothe police strike of '92.

Hugh?

- Now, that's-- what?- I've got a shift, mate.

Can I just go?

Yeah, and actually I've got a thing.

Yeah, I gotta make--

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, all right, OK, you can--now, wait a minute.

There's one more thing.

Hold on!

[whistle blowing]

Before you go, two things.

One, no drinking before the game.

[groaning]

No drinking.

And two, no sex.

This is the love of your life,so save it for the field!

Now, go on, off you go.

Rest up, and I'll see youbright and early in the morning.

How's Amon?

Sleeping, last time I looked.

Immigration have their eye on you.

I wouldn't hang aroundhere too long, all right?

Well, I can't get adrink here anyway, can I?

Or anywhere else.

Yeah.

See you, mate.

See ya.

Hey, that's a bit of a shame.

I was gonna ask if youwanted to have sex tonight.

Well, sorry.

I'm into men.

[whistling]

What do you think?

Too much?

Are you kidding?

His tongue's gonna be hanging out.

It is too much.

It's only a drink.

No.

Helen, I just got "Spartacus" out on DVD.

I thought we could maybe get some Thai

and watch it together.

Oh, Tony Curtis, now you're talking.

I was gonna try and get "Gladiator",

but it was out already.

Thanks, Jack.

But I've got plans.

Ah, right.

Well, do you mind if I-- if I watch it in here?

What's wrong with your room?

Player's on the blink.

OK, bye.

Have a good time.

That's all right.

Yeah, I mean, I don't knowwhat it is about bubble wrap,

but every time I get started,it's like I just can't stop,

you know?

I'm like, pop, pop madness.

I just can't work out why it's so addictive.

Yeah, neither can I. Ijust reckon it's gonna remain

one of life's great mysteries.

You know?

You know, you look stunningin that dress tonight.

Really?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Can I get you another drink?

Why not?

[cheering]

I thought the Rams were on a curfew.

Yeah, Jack's not gonna be happy.

Give 'em whatever they like, on me.

Five beers.

Thanks, mate.- Oh, babe, what do you want?

Beer's good.

Yeah, five beers.

Agh! [screaming]

Now, what did I teach you?

Arm up.

Arm up the back, andinto the attacker's face.

That's good. That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

Now, let's do it again.

Good.

Who are we?

We are the Baa Bar, and we're black and white.

We are the Baa Bar and we're black and white.

We are the Baa Bar, and we're black and white.

Who are we?

We are the Baa Bar, and we're black and white.

We are the Baa Bar--

Hey, I'm gonna go.

Wait. No, baby, don't go.

No, no. I'm gonna go.

I'm tired.

No, don't, don't.

Oh, but, baby, did I eventell you how hot you are?

Thank you, baby.

If you're lucky, I'll beawake when you come home.

Bye.

OK OK.

This was all your doing.

Well, you look a lot better.

Quite nice.

You hungry?

Well, I'm a wee bit peckish.

Well, knock yourself out.

Come on, strong stance.

Grr.

Strong stance!

OK.

That's it.

Yup.

Good.

Ow!

Well, keep your defenses up.

Come on. Do it again.

That's it.

Come on, come on.

I want you to commit 100%, Ellie.

Yell at me.

Yell at me while you--

yell at me.

Yell, like you mean it.

Come on, come on, come on!

Ow.

- Oh. - That's good.

That's good.

OK, Ellie, calm down.

Ellie, Ellie Ellie, stop.

Hiya!

Ellie, no.

Ow.

And what is theweakest part of the grip?

The thumb.

The thumb, so we twist it against them.

Watch your defences.

Watch your defenses yourself.

Oh!

Ow!

Ow, not the thumb, Ellie.

Ow!

Ah. - Give up?

Give up?

Never.

Ah!

Never.

She's the most beautifulgirl in the world.

Hair the color of thedesert, eyes as deep as--

The ocean?

Exactly.

And her voice.

Don't tell me.

Like velvet.

No, it's a terrible shrill.

But I love her, anyway.

If only I could see her one last time.

It hurts to be in love.

But you'd know what, wouldn't you?

Who are we?

We are the-- grand final,biggest crowd in history.

All 70 seconds left.

Toledo gives to Richer.

He's seen Ratcliffe in the square.

Oh, he's taken mark of the year.

Oh, oh.

[inaudible] What Can Ratcliffe do?

He lines up, and kicks.

It sails through.

[car alarm wails]

The crowd's going bananas!

Seen something they've never seen before!

Oh, Jack Jaffers is gonna be proud.

Shh.

Hah.

Shh.

Hey, hey, hey, .

Shh, shh.

It's OK.

Shh.

[police siren sounds]

[shouting]

[inaudible] Go on, go on.

Ride that thing.

You're a naughty boy, Simon Westlake.

All I did was extend the handof friendship and hospitality.

I grabbed it with both hands.

Well, I hope you're not trying to get me drunk.

You know, he's the part I don't get, all right?

You are beautiful.

You're intelligent.

I get jumpy around you.

How is it that you're unattached?

Well, I guess I've justgot really bad taste in men.

Well, I guess that canonly count in my favor, then.

[chuckling]

I love this game.

- You're kidding me. - Yeah.

Wow.

It's gonna be a long night.

So what's the deal with you and Jack, hm?

Why are you so competitive with him?

Come on.

You know, it's the law of the jungle.

Survival of the fittest.

Mm-hmm.

Right, I have that boredom.

Mm-hmm.

Well, you've got to makeyour own fun in this town.

So is boredom the reasonwhy you bought the house?

No, I figure one day I might need the room.

Hmm.

I can make it home from here.

We should do this again soon.

Play "Space Invaders" till sunrise?

Well, that's my idea of a perfect night.

That is, of course, unless youwere keeping me up all night

just to put me off my footy.

See you at the game.

You will.

So what do we call that?

I don't know.

Lust for old time's sake.

Sounds pretty good to me.

See ya.

See ya.

Watch your defenses.

Yeah, Ellie!

First thing an intruder looks for.

Thank you.

Hmm.

[car beeps]

See you at the game.

MAN [ON RADIO]: It's anotherbeautiful day in Alice Springs,

with the temperature expected 40 degrees.

So remember to slip, slop, slap and head

on down to watch the big matchbetween the Bull Bar Bulls

and the Baa Bar Rams.

It's promising to be the big stash of the season.

Are you gonna eat that?

Are you gonna eat that?

Are you gonna eat that?

Boys.

That guy not staying withus has an enormous appetite.

[burps]

You'll be all right, mate.

Where is he?

What happened to you last night, sweetheart?

Oh, he was in the lockup.

OK, now this is a mix of saline and glucose.

It's the world's best practice hangover cure.

And this is the other.

Ugh.

Now, Hugh said no drinking and no sex.

We didn't have sex, Jack.

The Big Bull Bar of all places, you thickhead?

Ugh.

I don't think I can play, Jack.

I don't wanna play.

All right?

Darren, come and have a look at this with me.

Come on. Come here.

- Whoa. - Come on.

- Hey, where are we going?- Come on, just come on.

Jess.

Hah, serves him right.

JACK: Hey, Helen.

Hey, Jack.

I slept top to tail withthat guy all night, all right?

You're playing.

Mate.

Hey.

Thanks for everything.

I really appreciate all you've done for me.

If I could just avail you for one more thing.

For the $250.

Oh, no.

Come on, mate.

You didn't eat that many steak sandwiches.

It's all right.

It's not for the food, Jack.

[whistle blowing]

Oh!

Now we are gonna be impartial, are we not?

Of course we are.

Shame on you.

You know, you've reallymade progress, young lady.

I mean, you're still going out with bad guys,

but at least now you know they're bad.

I make them jumpy.

[cheering]

There's a big cheer for the Baa Bar Rams

as they head out onto thefield led by Jack Jaffers.

Should be some interestingmatch-ups here today.

Put some more grunt behind it, you big girl.

Yeah, good on you, you man-girl.

[cheering]

Our boundary rider tellsus that Simon Westlake's team

has a couple of big kickers.

And here they are now.

Looks like these boys mean business.

[cheering]

Hey, Rusty.

Rusty, get off!

You traitor.

[whistle blowing]

[inaudible]

Good luck.

You, too.

OK, Rams, your call.

Tails.

That's a head.

OK, that way.

Good luck, guys.

They don't look very friendly.

Yeah, well, we're not here to make friends.

All right, boys, let's do it,

[horn blows]

[shouting]

Go, go, go!

[cheering]

[music playing]

[whistle blowing]

All right, bulls!

Stay in the game!

Come on.

[whistle blowing]

Pass the ball to Ratcliffe!

[whistle blowing]

[inaudible]

Come on, Westlake, you dognapper.

[cheering]

Put your glasses on, Helen!

Hey, Bulls!

I heard you had a ban onbeer and sex before the game.

Yeah, and look what's happening!

Come on, get in there!

[whistle blowing]

[applause]

Hey, Darren.

Darren, the immigration guy's here.

Dougie, where's your mate with the car?

Yeah, he should be here soon.

[horn blows]

[applause]

MAN [ON RADIO]: And Westlake kicks

his fourth goal of the game.

We're 7 minutes into the second quarter,

and the Rams are like lambs to the slaughter.

The bulls are completelydominating their forward line,

and hang on.

We're got an altercation in the center.

The ref has blown his whistle, and it's

a free kick to Simon Westlakelike in the forward pocket.

Westlake's taking his time, but where I sit,

that looks like a certaingoal, putting the Bulls

even further in front.

It's gonna take a miracle for the Rams

to get back into the game.

Hey, come and try iton someone your own size.

You all right, mate?

I think it's broken.

OK, can you rotate it?

- No. - No, OK.

It's no good.

We're gonna have to get him off.

MAN: Looks like Michael Anderson is injured.

Could be an ankle, and that'snot good news for the Rams.

[whistle blowing]

[cheering]

Matt, here!

Aw!

What, are you blind?

I could have taken that.

What, there were guys all over you.

Crap!

Start passing to me, or I'll deck you!

Deck me?

[whistle blowing]

[applause]

Right on, guys, right on!

Hey, drop the car at the BaaBar, and bring the keys back.

- No worries, man. - All right?

Thanks, man.

Team, team.

The Bulls are a team.

[vomiting]

DARREN: Ugh.

[flushing]

Oh.

Oh.

That's better.

They look like a team, they play like a team.

And then there's you lot, abunch of bloody individuals,

who just happen to be on a football field

at the same time.

If you're gonna have anychance of winning this game,

you're gonna have to start working as a team.

Look, what are we supposed to do, Hugh?

They all play professionally.

- We could try harder. - Oh, could we?

I don't see you doing anything out there.

No one's passing me the ball.

Hugh, I thought this wassupposed to be a friendly game.

What's he doing bringing in the pros?

Well, because he's a low life and a cheat,

and he's got no respect fora man or his dog, or anything

you might value in a personal sense.

I think I know how we can win.

They're from the south.

They're not used to the heat.

If we run them down and get them hot,

I reckon we might be in with a chance.

Yes, that's the idea.

We play a running game.

Yes!

Run 'em.

Sven, you're on the interchange bench, mate.

When you go out there,keep the ball in the air,

pass to each other, watch what the player's doing,

and run like your life depended on it!

[shouting]

Run, run, run!

Run them into the ground!

[music playing]

[horn blowing]

[cheering]

All right, now we're a team!

[shouting]

[whistle blowing]

[cheering]

[whistle blowing]

[cheering]

What's wrong, you scared of girls?

[horn blowing]

First opportunity youget, you dispose to Darren.

That is your purpose in life. - Keys.

[horn blowing]

Well, we got a real chance of winning this.

So who's the best team out there?

Bulls or Rams?

Rams! Oh

Who? - Rams!

Get in and kick some goals!

[inaudible]

Good on you!

Go, Cubs-- go, Rams!

[cheering]

Sorry, mate.

Yes!

[cheering]

Natalie, I might have to ask you out on a date

if you keep playing like this.

You know where to find me.

Got you.

Damn it!

[cheering]

Back off!

Come on!

Get you-- you don't knowa lot about Helen, mate?

Nah.

How angelic her face is when she's sleeping.

[laughter]

Hey!

Hey!

[whistle blowing]

MAN: This kick is for the game.

There's only 8 seconds left on the clock.

Simon Westlake lines up, kicks.

It's high.

It's straight.

It's a goal.

Hey, the Bulls have wonthe game by three points.

[cheering]

OK, it's got two weeks regand a full tank of petrol.

Should get you to your girlfriend, all right?

Whoa.

Oh, you're a saint.

Saint Jack.

What, am I mighty too pretty?

Oh, yeah.

Go on, you better get going.

Not before a hug!

Good luck, mate.

Godspeed.

I'll need it in this, to be sure.

See you, mate.

[honking]

Hey, Rusty.

So what's the prognosis?

Might be off it for a week or two.

Looks like I'm stuck on desk duty.

Well, you've heard the saying.

Be careful what you wish for.

Next season, hey, MIkey.

Go the Rams!

[cheering]

I've seen some funny games in my time,

but that was one of the best.

What do you reckon, Ellie?

Very proud.

Here you go.

Cheers.

Cheers.

OK, so you're not bad.

You mean good.

Hmm, yeah, for a girl.

So are you going out with Dougie?

Why do you ask?

Just wondering.

Hey, mate.

I thought you would becelebrating with Westlake.

Guess I'm just a loyal dog like Rusty.

You really wanna get tied up with this guy?

Maybe I'm just using him for the sex.

Here's to Amon.

Who's Amon?

He's a man in love.

[theme music]