Original subtitles

I loved my wife, I did.

But, uh, I never loved her like that.

And I think she wanted to be.

MATT MARIONE: I saw you with Hugh last night.

ELLIE DELANEY: Are you following me?

No, I was looking for you.

We were just talking.

Firstly, I'd like tothank Helen for the idea.

I'm sure it's no secret to any of you

here that she is thebrains behind this jaunt.

Thank you very much, Helen Gregory.

What is going on here?

Jess and Darren have set adate, in a month, on the 17th.

I slept with Toby thenight before Darren proposed.

OK.

What do I do?

Forget it ever happened.

Toby, this is--

Crazy, I know.

I know.

I can't.

What about you and me?

It was a mistake.

Old Cherokee saying, Rusty.

Listen, or your ears will make you blind.

Can you hear it, mate?

The sound of the tension ebbing away.

SIMON WESTLAKE: I've seensome bloody strange sights

in this desert.

But I reckon this one tops the list.

Anyone ever tell youit's impolite not to knock?

A man don't knock in his own backyard, Jack.

How's the Baar Bar going?

Yeah, good, never better.

How's life at the Big Bull Bar?

Great, getting a lot ofyour disgruntled clientele.

Well, why would they be disgruntled?

I've got everything you've got and more.

I noticed you didn'tenter the camel rides, Jack.

Every other pub in town was in it, but yours.

You want to be considered a local,

you'd do well to learn someof the local traditions.

Frolicking around nakedout here in the desert, not

a local tradition.

Yeah.

Well, me and Musty, we'regoing to leave you to whatever

it is that you're doing.

Hut!

[theme music]

THEME SONG: Take me to thatopen, silent space where

the earth breathes your name.

Meet me underneath the starlight sky.

All our troubles fade away.

Hold me now as the golden sunlight

warms across your face.

La, la, la.

You didn't see Jess this morning?

She was at a dress fitting.

Oh, point of no return.

What?

Once they get the dress on, no going back.

Good, I don't want to go back.

Yeah, I know you don't want to go back.

It's just-- you know, whatever.

Haven't thought much about it?

No, not really, not yet.

I guess I won't ask forany help with my vows then.

Oh, no, come on.

I can be as articulate as the next bloke.

Hit me.

No, I'm not going to do it now.

All right, I'll wait till the day.

Just you and 85 otherstrangers, friends, family.

You alone with a microphone, the spotlight, a stage.

OK, OK, OK.

[phone rings]

Come, man, I'll race you.

Come, push it.

Come on.

[phone rings]

Stevo, mate.

How's my best man doing?

What?

Ouch.

Sorry, it would help if you relaxed.

I am relaxed.

Honey, if you get any more tense,

I'm going at the pry this dressoff you with the jaws of life.

Too many red jelly beans.

Could lose an inch from the hip.

The dress, honey, not you.

You don't like it, do you?

The bust feels strange.

They're called boobs, Nat.

Come on, first you didn't like the sleeves,

then you didn't like sleeve-less,

then it was too long, andthen it was too short.

I mean, what's wrong now?

I don't have a problem.

OK, it's the same color I was wearing

when Will broke up with me.

No, give me my jelly beans.

Guys, guys.

You want to go at me before the big day.

[shouting]

You told me he was on tour.

That's what Mike said.

I really like their sound.

What do they call it?

Desert rockabilly?

Yeah, the audition was OK.

But a DJ would be cheaper.

The last wedding I wentto had three bands and a keg

on a river boat.

Everyone spewed, massive.

I'm not so sure that Jess would

want everyone to spew on herwedding, massive or otherwise.

We can't have a DJ.

It's just not cool.

It's 850 a gig.

Who's going to pay?

I'm father of the bride.

It's like-- it's like tradition that I

pay for my daughter's wedding.

HELEN GREGORY: Have you offered Jess this?

I mean, she's a strong, independent woman.

I'm sure she's gotsomething to say about it.

DAVE [ON RADIO]: Hey, we've got our old mate,

Simon Westlake on the line.

What's bugging you, Sime?

HELEN GREGORY: Jack? - Sh, listen.

SIMON WESTLAKE [ON RADIO]: I [inaudible]..

Jack Jaffers, owner of the Baar Bar.

What a stupid bloody name for a pub.

I mean, every [inaudible] he knows.

There's no shooting off the dingo fence.

He must be Tasmanian.

DAVE [ON RADIO]: Or a kiwi.

SIMON WESTLAKE [ON RADIO]:Hey, look I want to challenge

him to a camel race, Dave.

His bar versus mine.

DAVE [ON RADIO]: He'd be abrave man to take you on, mate.

What was that all about?

MATT MARIONE: Ellie!

ELLIE DELANEY: Hey.

Hey.

Hey, hi.

What you been up to?

I'm getting fit.

I'm jogging with Darren.

- With Darren? - Yeah.

- Traitor. - What?

What?

What?

Oh, no, no, no, come-- no, gross, gross.

What?

I've got a tour thismorning and you are sweaty.

Hey.

Whose, uh, whose wedding album?

Oh, I was just cleaning out the cupboard.

What, you getting nostalgic?

It needed a dust.

Don't look at it.

No, I'm not.

[phone rings]

You want me to get that?

Nah, machine will get it.

ELLIE DELANEY [ANSWERINGMACHINE]: Hi, it's Ellie.

Leave a message after the beep. [beep]

SIMON WESTLAKE [ONPHONE]: Hi, good day, El.

Simon Westlake.

Yeah, I just thought we could catch up.

It's been a while.

Give us a call.

Simon Westlake?

What's he calling you for?

Oh, um, it's just an old friend.

Um, look, I got these guys on the line.

Pig in a pit?

Yeah, I thought we could go all Hawaiian.

You know, tiki torches, steelguitar band, ukulele or two?

Everyone gets a lay?

Yeah.

Hey, I could wear a hula skirt.

Right on.

Is it expensive?

Oh, money's no object.

I'm paying.

What?

No, I don't expect you to pay.

That's all right.

Father of the bride and all that.

- You can't afford it. - Sure, I can.

The bar's starting to make some money, right?

HELEN GREGORY: Jack--

Oh, sorry to interrupt.

Uh, can we have a quick word?

Yes.

Yeah, no, they're all very enthusiastic.

Pig in a Pit.

Yeah, the mine's extendedhis contract for six months.

There's nothing I can do about it.

He's going to be there till Christmas.

So you just have to get another best man.

Come on, babe, you've got heaps of friends.

What about Rob?

Yeah, right, Rob.

Um, hey, just give me one second, baby.

Just one sec--

Hey, Toby.

Hey, can I have a quick word?

Um, listen, my, uh, best man just flaked on me.

And, uh, I was thinking maybeyou could fill in for him?

I know it sounds ridiculous and stupid.

But Jess likes you a lot.

And she's going to be mywife, so sooner or later you

and I are going to be mates.

Just thought, you know, we'd make

it sooner rather than later.

Pressure times volume isproportional to temperature.

That's the universal gas law.

Well, you can't spend what you haven't got.

That's the global economic law.

JACK JAFFERS: It's eithera creeping gauge, a kink

in the line, or a dodgy keg.

What if the whole system needs replacing?

You know, things like this can kill a profit.

I know, Helen.

I know.

MICHAEL ANDERSON: Hey, Jack.

I thought you had a tour.

Canceled.

I've got a message for you from Simon Westlake.

He told me to tell you that he'sputting up a 10 grand winner's

purse for his camel race.

What?

But he reckons you'll still be too

scared to take him up on it.

He said Jack was scared?

Did you say 10 grand?

[music playing]

[moo]

I'm looking for Simon Westlake.

Sure, follow me.

Simon, there's a guy here to see you.

Thanks, darling.

Nice head.

State of the art glycol system.

Perfect pour every time.

That's Mustafa.

Holds a world title fordowning a territory stubby

in record time, man or beast.

Big fella.

And cut too, full of juice, makes him mean.

So what's all this about a camel race?

Well, I told you it's a local tradition, Jack.

Thought I'd give you a chanceto redeem yourself, you know?

Feel a part of the community.

Your pub versus mine for 10 grand?

That's right.

And if you win, what do you get?

I get joy of seeing you lose, Jack.

Where and when?

Old South Road, day aftertomorrow, around noon.

Oh, by the way, it's just you and me.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

Now that one.

Come on, I want all of that on the table.

You wait there.

Hi, Hugh.

What's going on?

I heard a rumour,something about a camel race.

A word of warning, Jack.

Westlake can't be trusted.

I'll keep that in mind.

I don't want anytrouble in my town, Jack.

What have you beensmoking in your pipe, Hugh?

I don't smoke.

You ever ridden a camel?

How hard can it be?

[camel moans]

Stand.

Stand.

Yeah, camels can smell fear.

So be firm, fearless, and friendly.

Firm, fearless, friendly.

Got it.

There are a couple of commands for you.

Hut means go.

Stand means stop.

Hut, stand, all right.

OK, hut, hut, hut.

Not working, Bill.

Hut!

Stand!

Bloody stand!

How'd you sleep?

The painkiller wore off around 3.

Well, for what it's worth, I--

I bet you looked very heroicup there on that camel

before you fell off.

Helen, it's 9 o'clock in the morning.

Oh, man, what was I thinking?

PATRICK: You weren't thinking, Jack.

You just had dollar signs in your eyes.

Well, you had your pride to defend.

Bugger my pride.

I just wanted the cash.

Well, if it's just about money, I mean,

you could get someone elseto ride the race for you.

No, this is between me and Westlake.

Technically, it's between the bars.

I can't.

I've got a tour to Stanley Chasm tomorrow.

Both of ya?

No, just a small group.I'm doing it on me [inaudible]

Oh, right.

Hey, I thought this, um, racewas between you and Westlake,

anyway.

No, no, technically it's between the bars.

So you'd be representing the Baar Bar.

Yeah, OK, I'll do it.

Yeah? TOBY DELANEY: Yeah.

All right.

TOBY DELANEY: I mean, for 10 grand I'd

even ride the camel naked.

Well, actually, I've gotall the money, uh, tied up.

I'm going to use it to payfor Jess's wedding bash.

Uh, I'm busy.

What?

Yeah, I've got some stuff on tomorrow.

Sorry.

[theme music]

Unwatered chardonnay, I haven't forgotten.

You know, I can't say that I'm sorry to hear

about, uh, you and the sheriff.

Why did you call me, Simon?

I think you and I shouldgo into business together.

Back to a company you workfor, I want their business.

And I want you to bring your tour groups here.

Why don't you just think ofit as a favor for an old mate?

Are you struggling for a buck?

I just think there's one pub too

many in this town, that's all.

So this is about the Baar Bar.

Is that what this stupid camel race is all about?

Are you hoping to runJack Jaffers out of town?

Come on, El.

It's not the wild west.

Well, it's not Jack you should be worried about.

The real brains of the operation is a woman.

It's always been your problem, Simon.

You underestimate us.

Helen Gregory?

Simon Westlake.

Oh, right.

You all right there?

Just my back tire needs a bit of air.

Oh yeah, let me give you a hand with that.

I think I can pump my own tire up, thanks.

Get your head down, mate.

How long you-- uh, how long you plan

on staying in the Alice for?

Why is that?

I'd like to offer you a job.

I need a business manager.

The word is you're the best.

Who told you that?

I need someone like you beside me, Helen.

I'll make it worth your while.

Oh, well, I--

I've got to go to the supermarket.

Rightio, well, when you're finished

there swing by the Big Bull Bar.

Well, that should do you.

Nice and firm.

I could tell you more about the job then.

OK.

Good.

Hey, Jackie Jack.

Hi, Daz.

I hear you're having a bitof trouble with the camels.

News travels fast.

Oh, I've had a bit of experience with camels.

Yeah, great.

Look, just hold on a second, would ya, mate?

Nat, how long's my sandwich going to be?

Just two minutes, mate.

What's that you're putting on there?

- Ah. - Sorry.

Hey, Nat?

What is it, Jack?

You're interrupting my lunch prep.

You know Simon Westlake, right?

You think Helen's his type?

Female, warm blooded, walks upright,

yep, that's Simon's type.

I reckon she's been actinga bit secretive lately.

And all those odd phone calls.

And now this-- this-- this--

this race.

You know, it's a bit of acoincidence, don't you think?

What are you talking about, Jack?

Simon and Helen.

I didn't know there was a Simon and Helen.

Neither did I.

Oh, look at this.

These are my top racing bulls.

You'll notice how they're all long

in the leg, robust,triangular shaped bodies.

Round heads.

Plus they got a bitmore tucked up underneath.

Are they, uh, [clicking]?

You know? - Gelded?

Yeah.

Of course.

You don't want a distracted bull, mate.

You know what I mean?

Not if they're racing against cows.

Have I seen you somewhere before?

Oh, don't think so.

Oh, I never forget a face.

You ever ridden in a camel cup?

What about him?

That's not a him.

That's Doris.

And she shouldn't be here.

Go on, Dori, get on.

[laughs]

Doris [inaudible] walk on.

Hello, Doris.

I think she likes you, Jack.

I'm sure I've seen you somewhere.

You all right?

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Weddings suck, hey?

They do when everyonearound you starts going weird.

Yeah, well, he asked me tobe his best man, remember?

No, it's not just that.

You know, and Jack wantsto be father of the bride.

Natalie's not happy with her bridesmaid's dress.

Well, Michael, just stays away now.

Thank god for Daz then, hey?

I bet he's being a rock, hey?

At least he's not threateningto destroy my wedding.

You actually think that I would do that to you?

I don't know, Tobes.

You haven't exactly been acting sane recently.

What? And you have?

You bought nonrefundableplane tickets.

Yeah, and you slept withme the night before accepting

Darren's marriage proposal.

Who's the crazy one here, Jess?

[music playing]

Helen, I was beginning to think

you weren't going to show.

So was I.

Well, welcome.

Let me give you the royal.

I'm sure this is, uh, all familiar.

Not really.

Well, I wanted to create something

quintessentially Alice.

Uh, you know, bring the tourists.

Smart business.

Yeah.

Of course, the only time you'llspend on this side of the bar

will be when you're enjoyinga bevvy or two after work.

You wouldn't want me to serve?

Oh, no, no, your jobwould be purely financial.

I hope you like numbers.

Your new office is this way.

I think you'll like it.

Come on in.

Why don't you take a seat?

All the latest gear.

Virtually run the bar from this very seat.

Simon?

Yeah?

There's something you didn't take care of.

Right, OK, I'll, uh, be back in a sec.

Make yourself at home.

What are you doing?

Patrick, shush.

Oh, yeah, like someone'sreally going to hear me.

What are you doing here?

Nothing, I'm just--

Fraternizing with the opposition.

No.

Flirting with the opposition.

I wasn't flirting.

You are not seriously considering

this offer, are you?

Sorry about that.

Always something to take care of.

That's why I need you, Helen.

So what do you think?

Have I impressed you yet?

There's no doubt about that.

But I need some time to let it sink in.

While that's, um, sinking in,I want you to think about this.

Your phone number?

Your salary.

Oh, you won't have to jog every morning

if we do that every afternoon.

So why wasn't SimonWestlake the marrying type?

What?

No, you said before that Simon Westlake

wasn't the marrying type.

Well, um, he was 19, for one thing.

He was quite a bit older, more mature.

OK, OK, so would you saythat I'm the marrying type?

I don't really know what to say to that.

Come on, Ellie.

I just want to knowwhere you see us heading.

Um, I'm happy withthings exactly as they are,

aren't you?

OK, where do you see us headed?

Oh, I don't know, Ellie.

Maybe, um, the way of other couples,

maybe living together and, uh,marriage perhaps, kids one day.

Ha ha ha, OK, wait.

Just-- I've been there and I've done that, OK?

Not with me you haven't.

Sorry.

I'd prefer a mineral water.

Sure.

So how's Simon?

Ah, what?

Jack thinks you're having an affair.

He must have seen you two together.

Oh, I just, uh, saw him down the street.

Did he offer you a job?

Why would he do that?

That's how Simon operates.

He undermines his oppositionby poaching its staff.

[moaning]

Over there, on the seat.

Ice, I need some ice.

Tell me you didn'tfall off the camel again.

Oh, he's all right, just five or six times.

Oi, Jack, this just arrived for you, mate.

They delivered it to the four wheel drive office.

- How's my best man doing?- Good, mate.

JACK JAFFERS: That's from the Bull Bar.

Whoa.

Oh, very fancy.

Yeah, very bloody funny.

I reckon you look at thatguy from that film, um--

"Lawrence of Arabia."

Actually, no Darren.

I was thinking "Star Wars," Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Um, where do you want the ice?

On my bum.

Something tells me this camelrace is going to end in tears.

I'm going to have to do it.

It's all right, Darren.

I can put ice on my own bum.

Jack, I'm talking about the race.

I can't let you keep doing this to yourself.

I'm going to have to ride for the bar.

No, Darren.

Jack, I can do it.

I can.

I want you to do me a favor, return this,

along with some anatomical instructions

about what Westlake can dowith his bloody fancy robes.

TOBY DELANEY: I've beenhere since day one, Jack.

He waltzes in at the lastsecond, and all of a sudden

he's the bloody hero.

He doesn't give a stuff about the bar.

And you're letting him ride for ya.

What about me?

You knocked me back.

I care more about Jess than he does.

- Jess? - What?

You care more about Jess?

I said I care more about the bar than--

- No, no, you said Jess. - No, no, no, Jack.

I said the bar.

I said I care more about the bar.

JACK JAFFERS: No.

Wait, forget it, OK?

I'm nobody's second choice.

You can do your own dirty work.

You said Jess.

You need to relax a bit more, mate.

You're too tense.

Yeah, firm, fearless, friendly.

Are you sure you haven'tridden a camel cup?

Yes, I'm sure.

I remember you now.

You rode Moby Dick.

He came a cropper in the home straight,

took down three other camels,almost killed himself.

Why didn't you say something?

What?

[camel moans]

I sad what, not hut!

Stand!

[thud]

MATT MARIONE: Daza, how'd it happen?

Oh, she rushed into a clump of trees, mate.

A low lying branch knocked me right off.

OK, and you landed on your--

Yeah, right on it.

OK.

It's not funny though.

Well, it is a bit.

[moans]

Good soldier.

[music playing]

You decided to drink in aclassy establishment, have you?

Or have you changed your mind?

Have you changed your mind about my offer?

No and no.

I have a question for you.

OK, shoot.

Do you have any regrets about us?

Will I need a drink for this?

I'm being serious.

Regrets?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

I regret letting Constable Delaney

within 100 bloody miles of you.

I regret not fighting harder for you.

I regret not marrying you, having children,

doing all that family stuff.

I mean, look around, El.

This is my life.

Hey, hey.

Hi.

How are ya?

Oh, I'm good.

What have you been up to?

Oh, you've inspired me.

I've been getting fit.

Shopping gets you fit, does it?

The way I shop.

So did you catch upwith, um, Simon Westlake.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah, how was it?

Just like old times?

Hardly.

Yeah?

Simon and I were something ofan item before I married Hugh.

Actually, yeah, I had--

I had heard something like that.

It was a long time ago.

It didn't last very long.

Yeah, right, apparently Hughcame and crashed the party.

You've been doing your homework.

He was the marrying type and Simon wasn't.

The choice wasn't that hard.

Yeah, right.

[heavy breathing]

Jess, look, I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Darren was helping me outwith the camel race, and--

So why did he fall?

Well, he-- he was riding it for me.

He's petrified of camels.

He nearly killed himself on one a year ago.

Well, I know that now.

But he was doing it for you,you know, for us, for the money.

You're not making any sense.

The 10 grand.

I'm going to use it to pay for the wedding.

No, no, Jack.

I-- I don't need you to pay for my wedding.

I don't want you to pay for my wedding.

But it's tradition.

I'm father of the bride.

I want to.

Jack.

Oh, sorry.

[moaning]

Yeah, oh, right there.

Here?

Yeah

OK, how about--

Yeah, there.

And along there?

Hey, Jess.

Hey, hey.

Um, he's got a small tear on his shoulder,

and a bruised coccyx, and dented pride.

He'll make a full recovery.- OK.

I'll leave you to it.

Thank you.

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby.

It looks worse than it is.

What's the matter?

I want to call the wedding off.

DAVE [ON RADIO]: Tellme, mate, did he give you

a reason for pulling the pin?

SIMON WESTLAKE [ON RADIO]: Nah, mate,

but I could hear his voice.

Dave, it was unadulteratedfear, pure and simple.

DAVE [ON RADIO]: So it's official.

There won't be a camel race today.

And that's a shame.

SIMON WESTLAKE [ON RADIO]:Yeah, [inaudible] race.

I encourage all your listenersout there to boycott the Baar.

[knocking]

Yeah?

So you pulled out of the race?

I think you do the right thing, Jack.

Are you sure about this?

Yeah, I think it's for the best.

I don't think anyone was readyfor a big wedding, least of all

me.

Oh, hey, wait up.

I got you these to say sorry about--

Spilling my jelly beans?

NATALIE ANDERSON: Being a pain over the dress.

Well, it doesn't matter now.Does it?

It wasn't the dress.

It was me.

I don't know.

I felt like I was losing my best friend.

Nat, that is so s--

I know.

I know.

So when are you going to tell everyone?

I'm not.

You are.

Hey, Bill.

Good day, mate.

Muggo.

What's happening?

BILL: Oh, just doing [inaudible],, mate.

How's Doris?

Has she recovered from her scare yesterday?

Don't worry about old Doris.

She's in season, makesher overreact emotionally.

Difficult female.

Why don't you check her out for yourself?

Hey, Doris.

Out for a walk, hey?

Yeah, me too.

I was a bit worried about you.

But, uh, Bill reckons you'rea bit of a drama queen.

DORIS: You can talk.

What?

DORIS: I said, you can talk.

Doris?

You can talk?

No, you can talk.

Huh?

You're letting fear rule your life.

That's a bit harsh, Doris.

Jack, wake up.

DAVE [ON RADIO]: That's right, folks, the news

is Jack Jaffers had a big change of heart.

The camel race is back on.

I'm at the Old South Road,waiting for Jaffer's arrival.

And I'm going to bring itto you live, as it happens.

My sound and camera crew arestanding by ready to catch

every nail-biting moment.

- All right, I'm heading off.- Ssh.

DAVE [ON RADIO]: Thanks tothe wonders of technology,

you can see it on the live webcast.

Just go to my website, whichis www.djdaveontheradio.com,

and then click on the link.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, www.djdave--

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it, got it.

Hey, guys, guys, guys.

Have you heard on the radio?

TOBY DELANEY: Yeah, yeah,yeah, we're on, we're on.

I'm here with Simon Westlake,the owner of the Big Bull Bar.

Let's go and have a chat to him, shall we?

Simon, mate, um, you sayJack's changed his mind, mate?

Yeah, good day, Dave.

Yeah, I got a call from him about an hour ago.

He said-- uh, he said, we're on.

But I don't see him anywhere, do you?

Hey?

Dave, Westlake.

Constable.

Yeah, I reckon he's chickened out.

He's chickened out for the second time, Dave.

That's what he's done.

HUGH DELANEY: I won't be so sure about that.

[theme music]

Oh, my god.

Get a load of that.

Hut.

Ready to race?

What do you reckon?

Hut, Doris.

Hut, Doris.

Did he say Doris?

Doris?

Doris?

JACK JAFFERS: Hut, Doris.

Hut.

Stand, stand, Doris.

You don't really think you'regoing to win on that thing,

do you?

You reckon I'd put 10 grand on the line

if I thought you had a chancein hell of winning in this race.

Hm?

Jack, this has always beenabout humiliation, mate, yours.

Righto, fellas.

Let's make this a nice, clean race, OK?

First camel past that marker, then back here

over the finish line, wins.

Are you ready?

On your marks, get set, go!

[shouting]

Atta girl.

Hut, hut, come on, Doris.

Go on, Jack! Get ahead!

Keep going.

Keep going!

Come on, Jack.

Hut, Doris.

Come on!

Let's go.

Let's go, come on, mate.

Woo-hoo!

good night hi Jack.

Come on.

DAVE: Oh, oh, what's happening here?

Jaffers and Doris seem to be heading

away from the finish line.

SIMON WESTLAKE: It's onlya bloody cow, you idiot.

Leave the cow alone.

Hut, Doris, hut.

DAVE [ON PC]: Westlake is following Jaffers.

And what do you know?

They've disappeared from sight.

Come on, let's go.

Where did they go?

Hunt for young Doris.

[shouting]

Oh, you don't want to come in here.

MICHAEL ANDERSON: What's going on?

What does it sound like?

Ew.

What's going on in there?

Ooh, I tell you what.

It isn't pretty Sarg, you don't want to know.

Hey, hey!

- Woo-hoo! - Come on.

Come on.

DAVE: And there's no sign of Mustafa.

He's one spent--

Hut, Doris.

Atta girl.

Jaffers has won!

Jack Jaffers wins the race.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Woo-hoo!

Woo-hoo!

You OK?

It was tough, buddy.

Yeah.

It must hurt to lose, again.

Nice one, Jack!

Woo-hoo!

This one's for you, Jess.

This one's for you.

No prisoners!

Yeah!

Thank you for being so understanding.

Call me from Darwin tomorrow.

I will be Mrs. Radcliffe by then.

Think they're going to understand?

I'll break it to them gently.

Thank you.

Come on, babe.

The flight's already been called.

Yeah.

Thanks.

ALL: Doris!

Doris! Doris!

Doris!

Doris!

Doris!

He'll be getting chicks foryears off the back of this.

You missed a great race today, boys.

Oh, we've heard it all before.

Yeah, about a dozen times already.

[cheers]

Go, Jack!

Any sign of Jess yet?

I got a check for 10 grand burning a hole

in my back pocket.

Do you think that thing has pockets?

So, are you still going tohead down to the Big Bull Bar.

I was never going anywhere.

Thank you.

What are friends for?

Friends?

What's that supposed to mean?

Hey, Jack!

Let's see it again!

No prisoners!

Oi, everybody.

Can we have some shush?

I've just got an announcement to make.

Jess thought you'd all like to know--

Jess and Darren have eloped.

Yeah, well, good on them.

Yeah, it's what I would've done.

Jess and Darren.

Jess and Darren.

I'll get that drink.

Are you for real?

Yeah.

Drinks are on the house.

[theme music]