Original subtitles

[Rain pattering]

[Engine shuts off]

[Patrick Freeman's "Lose My Mind" plays]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Would you have it any other way? ♪

[ Sighs ] I'm going in.

All this bother just to make plum pudding for one person.

It's not just anyperson. It's your brother.

Pass me the wine.

[Clears throat]

Oh, Mum. Mum! Mm.

Mm, mm. Thanks. [Laughs]

Go ahead. What do you think?

Okay.

Ugh! [Both laugh]

Oh, well. Rob will love it.

He'd better. Mm.

And I don't want any fighting over Christmas, do you hear?

Same goes for you and Dad.

♪♪

[Doorbell rings, dog barks]

I'm not going like this.

[Inhales deeply] Right, I'll go.

♪♪

[Thunder rumbling]

♪♪

Wren: The British Embassy were contacted by officials

in Thailand earlier today.

As your local police station, we've been informed

that a body's been identified,

believed to be your son, Rob.

[Inhales sharply, gulps]

N-No, no.

Wren: A group of young people swimming late at night.

He must have got into difficulty.

He drowned.

No. No. [Both sob]

He was identified earlier today

by a traveling companion.

Ayesha Fairwell?

Oh, well, she -- she's wrong. She's...

She's wrong.

[Sighs]

I'm afraid I have to ask you to come to the station.

We'll need you to confirm the evidence sent through

by the Embassy.

No![Both sobbing]

It won't be him. It won't be him.

Please, Luke, make it not him.

Make it not Rob.

[Sobbing] Make it not Rob!

Make it not Rob!

[Crying] I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Mum.

[Both sobbing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Somber music plays]

♪♪

[Insects buzzing, children playing in distance]

♪♪

♪♪

[Indistinct conversations, glass clinking]

Luke: Um, thank you all for coming

to celebrate Rob's birthday with us.

[Sighs]

It's been two months.

And while I can't say it gets any easier,

I can say how very grateful we are

for all the support and help that you've shown us.

Rosalie?

Uh, yes. Um, thank you.

[Breathes deeply]

Our son...

would've been 20 today.

To Rob.

All: To Rob.

[Indistinct conversations]

Ayesha, can I talk to you in private for a minute?

Yeah, sure.

Rob had his place at physical education college.

He had to be the strongest swimmer on that beach.

♪♪

We were pretty wasted.

Ah.

[Inhales deeply]

Why didn't anyone notice he was gone?

Call for help?

So, th-there were different groups all along the beach.

He -- He could have been with any one of them.

And not one person noticed?

Wasn't like I was looking for him.

I'm sorry.

The Thai police asked me to identify him, so...

Luke: Rosalie?

You know, I -- I thought maybe you could help me

go through Rob's things.

And we could talk about him.

We weren't... y-you know, like that.

A couple.

They didn't find his phone.

Did he leave it on the beach?

I mean, did someone pick it up? I don't know.

[Sighs]

I, uh... I have to catch my train.

[Sighs]

♪♪

It was a terrible, tragic accident, Rosie.

I'll never accept that.

Never.

I mean, how can you say that? He was your son! Wh--

Please, can you just calm down, Rosie?

Don't tell me to calm down!

We've talked this through, Rosalie. Have we?

What, just like we talked about your affair with Wendy?

Oh, come on.

Really sorted that out, didn't we?

Please, let's not go there again!

Right. It's been a long day.

I think we should give the family some privacy, don't you?

He hit his head. He was knocked unconscious.

[Sighs heavily]

Rosie, love. Please.

You know that he wouldn't dive around the rocks

in the middle of the night.

If you want to help each other, you have to work together.

I can't! I... [Sobs]

I can't move on the way that you want us to.

She wants me out.

Ohh.

Please, if you want to help me,

just -- just give me some space.

♪♪

♪♪

[Ringing tone]

[Footsteps departing]

[Ringing tone continues]

[Beep] Hi, you've reached Maddie.

Sorry I can't get to the phone right now.

Please leave a message after the tone.

Rosalie: Answer your bloody phone, Maddie.

♪♪

[Exhales deeply]

♪♪

[Door opens, dog barks]

Maddie?

Oh, Maddie.

[Sighs]

[Retches, coughs] That's it.

♪♪

[Cellphone buzzing]

♪♪

Okay. Yep.

Thank you.

Mrs. Halloran: The school realizes this is a hugely difficult time for you.

-But no problem booting her out. -We have every sympathy.

But constant truancy, disruption.

She was drunk in class the other day.

How are things at home? Could that be affecting her?

We, um...

We're not together at the moment.

Well, I suggest you pull together

with regard to your daughter.

I'll consider one last suspension,

if you can find a way to help her deal with her grief.

Woman: You can't explain the pain

to someone who hasn't gone through it.

Sometimes it's almost physical.

It comes in waves. It's like, um...

[Sobs lightly]

Thank you for listening.

♪♪

We have some new members in the group this evening.

Perhaps they'd like to share.

♪♪

Only when you're ready.

♪♪

My name's Jed.

Jed Cousins.

I don't remember a...

a lot about my parents, to tell the truth.

I was only 4 when they -- they had their crash.

Me nan brought us up.

A right old battle-ax.

She always wore a scarf around her head.

I swear she -- she went to sleep with that scarf.

I didn't give it to her easy.

I was -- I was a difficult kid.

Everyone cut me some slack

because the poor lad had lost his mum and dad.

At 16, I left home.

I went to London.

At first, I'd call her once a week,

pretending I was doing all these brilliant jobs,

when really I was scraping by.

It was always "next month"

when I was coming home.

A-A neighbor called to say she'd passed.

♪♪

I never thought much about my nan before.

♪♪

Now she's gone, she's all I think about.

♪♪

[Sighs] It's doing me head in.

♪♪

[Indistinct conversations]Maddie: I really liked your talk.

I mean, if "liked" is the right word to use.

Thanks.

I can just picture your nan with that scarf.

[All chuckle]

Pretty sure she was bald under that.

[Laughter]

I-I'm Rosalie.

This is my daughter, Maddie.

Hiya. Hey.

Was that your -- your husband?

Uh, no. My son.

I'm sorry.It's fine.

Thank you very much for speaking.

Very brave of you.

Thanks.

Well done.

Maddie: Thank you, Tom.

Uh, Jed?

Um...

We haven't had dinner yet, and we live 'round the corner.

You're more than welcome.

I-I wouldn't want to --

It's no trouble. It's just lasagna, garlic bread.

It's...[Chuckles]

It's not even dinner. More supper.

What would you call dinner, if lasagna's supper?

[Both laugh]

Well, I'll take that as a yes.

-Yeah. -Perfect.

[Door opens, Maddie laughs]

Luke: It's only me.

[Quietly] I know.

It's a young guy we met at counseling.

Jed.

So it went okay?

We'll get there.

All of us together again.

In time.

I hope so.

Hi, Dad! I didn't hear you come in.

Mwah!Mm!

Just dropping by.

Oh, uh, uh -- Luke, Jed. Jed, Luke.

Hello.Nice to meet you.

You too.

Right, well, uh... thank you for dinner.

Or supper. Whatever you call it.

You're welcome.

I'll, uh -- I'll see yous -- see yous again?

Ah, next week?

Sure.

Maddie: I'll show him out. [Giggles]

It's really nice to have you over.

And get this -- he doesn't drink,

he doesn't smoke,

feels guilty about his dead nan.

He's really lovely.[Door closes]

♪♪

[Sighs] I know.

You don't have to say it.

[Birds chirping]

♪♪

[Keys clatter]

♪♪

[Maddie and Jed speaking indistinctly]

♪♪

There you go. [Laughs]

Strong hands. Holding out.

[Laughs]

That's good. Here?

You make a good gardener.

♪♪

♪♪

Why would you do that?Why would I do what?

No! No, don't do that.

[Laughs]

Alright, alright. Come on, give it to me.

There you go. Go on. Come on, it's perfect.

Aah! Aah!

[Laughing] I'm not saving you.

[Maddie laughing]

♪♪

[Jed breathing heavily]

I'm gonna have to go home and get a change of clothes.

Oh, um...

[Inhales sharply] You can take jeans

and a T-shirt from Rob's room if you want.

Uh, that might be difficult for ya.

Yeah. It will be difficult, but...

[Breathes deeply]

♪♪

Y-You're kind of in my space, Jed.

♪♪

And you're getting my kitchen floor all wet.

[Chuckles]

Go on.

♪♪

[Exhales deeply]

♪♪

♪♪

[Door opens]

♪♪

♪♪

[Door opens]

[Door closes]Tom: How long have you been here now, Jed?

Jed: A couple of months or so.

Do you see a future for yourself in the gardening business?

Yeah. Maybe.

Well, you must have a vision

of where you're gonna be in the future.

It won't be as a priest, that's for sure.

[ Laughter ]

Alright. Bon appétit, everyone.

-Mmm! -Ah!

Only work would keep my son away

from your hotpot, Rosie.[Chuckles]

Looks like you're going to be man of the house

for a while, Jed.

[Scoffs] Hardly.

-Stop it now, Fay. -Stop what?

I'm as grateful to this young man as the next person.

Look what he's done. He's turned Maddie around.

I'm actually in the room, Gran.

[Laughs]

My point exactly.

Shall we change the subject now?

Did your nan have any man friends, Jed?

[Laughter]

Uh, not that I know of. She was into her books.

What sort of books?

Catherine Cookson?

Danielle Steel? Am I right?

Eh, more of a Trollope fan. Dickens.

I-I can't really remember, to be honest.

Outed for the middle-class snob that you are, Gran.

Guilty as charged.[Laughter]

I've had it easier than some.

Rosalie started out as a care worker.

That's how we met.

Owner of three of the best residential homes in the county.

Only because you believed in me.Oh...

Fay: Not bad, eh?

For a girl from the roughest council estate?

♪♪

♪♪

You know, I kind of thought you'd be from...all this.

[Chuckles] No.

No, my mum was left with two young kids

when my father bailed.

What's that silly saying?

Poor but happy?

But we were.

Poor is shite, whatever way you look at it.

Well, you -- you know what it's like

to -- to want things, though?

We've got a lot in common.

Yeah, of course we do.

Maddie.

Losing someone.

If that's what you mean.No, but...

It's, like, more than that.

I don't know. It's me being stupid.

I just... [Inhales deeply]

feel like I've known you a-a lot longer.

That's all.

It's weird.

You lost your mother.

I lost my son.

Maybe that's the connection you feel.

I think we both have to be careful not to --

not to get everything mixed up.

Yeah. Maybe you're right.

Oh, thanks for this.

You're welcome.

Night. Night, Jed.

♪♪

♪♪

[Sighing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Gasping]

♪♪

[Exhales forcefully]

♪♪

[Switch clicks][Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

[Knocking on door]

[Door opens]

I've given Mrs. Flynn last rights.

Family's with her now.

Everything okay?

Yeah, I just...

I just haven't been sleeping very well.

Worried about Jed?

What do you mean?

Has he told you his real name yet?

His real name?

Jethro.

I googled his parents' accident.

Why would you do that?

And looked up his nan's obituary.

Rita Cousins.

She did have a partner, for many years.

He's mentioned in her obituary.

Jed said she was alone.

What have you got against him?

Nothing.

Seems perfect.

Maybe that's the problem.

♪♪

[Cellphone chiming]

Oh, shit.[Door opens]

[Keys jingling]

[Door slams][Sighs]

The alarm's gone off in the cottage again.

Ugh.What cottage?

Mm, it's this old shack in the middle of nowhere

that everyone loves except me.

It'll be the wind or a fox or something.

The police never check.

I'll go up there tomorrow to make sure.

Well, not on your own, Mum. I'm coming with you.

You're not missing another day of school, missy.

Mum!

Maddie, I'm not listening to this.

Please, it's really important...

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Thanks, Mum.

I'll feel better.There's really no need.

I know. I just want you to come home safe.

♪♪

Thank you.

♪♪

See you later.Bye.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Birds chirping]

♪♪

[Sheep bleating]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Wind howling]

[Wings flapping][Screams]

♪♪

[Switch clicks]It's a power cut.

Happens here a lot.

♪♪

[Floorboards creak]

It's been forced.

Wait there. I'll check upstairs.

♪♪

No. Nothing.

Must've been hikers taking a chance.

They taken anything?

They didn't find them.

[Sighs]

My mum couldn't afford much, but she never missed our books.

Some first editions in there.

I bought them. Over the years.

Valeria.

My heroine.

God, how I wanted a crystal pendant

with magic powers like hers.

[Both chuckle]

My mum bought me a glass one, so I couldn't --

I couldn't get a crystal one after that.

Why not?

It'd be like saying her present wasn't good enough.

You're a kind person, aren't you?

Sorry, am I allowed to say that?

[Laughs] It's a nice thing to say.

Why wouldn't you say it?

It's getting dark. We should, uh -- we should go.

Maddie'll be getting worried.

[TV playing indistinctly]

Maddie.

I won't hurt you or your mum again.

It was a mistake.

♪♪

It was a shit mistake, Dad.

I really am sorry.

[Quietly] It's okay.

Since Rob...

Well, everything else feels like small stuff.

♪♪

♪♪

I'm sure I left them in the car.

I'm just gonna check inside.

[Door creaks]

♪♪

This is hopeless, Jed.[Sighs]

♪♪

They must have come out your hand when that bird flew out.

It's too dark.

We'll have to look again in the morning.

Right. Okay.

♪♪

Mum? Nah, it's me.

But she managed to get through.

She can't find her car keys, is all.

I'm gonna stay the night.Okay.

[Footsteps departing]

[Wind rushing]

[Flatware clinking]

Not very hungry.

Did Rob enjoy coming here?

[Chuckles]

We used to have to bribe Maddie to come up here.

But Rob...

was in his element.

We'd hike for miles in the woods.

He was an outdoors lad.

Knew how to take care of himself.

[Wind howling, fire crackling]

That's why it'll never sit with me.

My boy.

Drowning.

Not Rob.

I wanted to go back to Thailand and ask questions,

see where it happened, but...

[Sighs] Maddie was out of control.

We couldn't leave her, and...

Luke and I couldn't stay together.

All that toxic anger between us.

And all we wanted was our son back.

[Voice breaking] I want him back.

[Crying] I'm sorry.No. Don't apologize.

I can't pretend to understand what that...

pain must feel like.

But I do know that losing someone

and not getting the chance to say goodbye...

it feels unfair.

[Chuckles lightly]

Yeah.

[Gulps]

[Sniffles]

♪♪

[Flatware clinking]

♪♪

♪♪

[Dog barking in distance]

♪♪

If you're cold, there are more blankets in the cupboard.

Goodnight.

[Stairs creaking]

♪♪

[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

[Door opens][Gasps]

Jed, what the...?You were calling me.

Just...get out!

Just get out my room!

[Door closes]

[Footsteps departing][Breathing heavily]

[Stairs creaking, rooster crowing]

[Door opens]

Found 'em.

Like I thought, they were in the grass by the car.

[Sighs]

Great.

Thanks. You're welcome.

You were calling me.

What?

I didn't know you were asleep.

Well, you misheard.

I think about you, too.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Where's your flat? I can drop you off.

I need to get some stuff I left at your house

before you say you don't want me coming 'round so much.

Jed. [Sighs] It's okay.

I get it.

I'm used to being brushed off.

I'm just rubbish to the likes of you

now you're up in the world.Don't think that.

It's alright. I get it.

I heard my name being called.

Loud and clear.

Oh, my God. Yaz!

-Maddie! -Oi, oi! Back off!

Stay where you are! -Mum! Mum!

What do you want? Do you want money?

I can get you money. -Shut up.

[Grunting]

Aah!

[Grunts]

Think you're a big girl, do ya?

They're not gonna be around to save you next time, Maddie!

There's not gonna be a next time!Fuck off!

If I catch you around here again, you better start running.

'Cause if the police don't catch ya, I fucking will!

Get the fuck out of here.

They came out of nowhere.

You okay?It's alright.

They won't be coming back.

[Sobs]

♪♪

Maddie: They're not from 'round here.

One day, Yaz and her gang started...

I don't know, talking to me outside school.

Talking about what?

Stuff.

I dunno. We had a laugh.

Never got a surname? Never asked any questions?

Just had a laugh?

They'd take things from me.

Money. Jewelry.

We know how these gangs operate, Maddie.

Did they ask you to sell drugs at school?

♪♪

Answer them, Maddie.Nothing heavy. Just benzos.

All the girls are on them.

Jesus Christ.Sorry, Dad. Mum.

I-It just took my mind off things here.

I did stop.

At first, it was like they were okay with it.

And then today it was give them more money, instead.

Am I in trouble? Will I have to go to court?

If we find them.

Thanks.

♪♪

[Door opens, closes][Sighs]

♪♪

Thanks for what you did, Jed.

[Door closes]

Maddie's out with her dad. Um...

You can wait in here if you want.

I, um...

[Clears throat] I brought you something.

Open it.

Open it.

♪♪

♪♪

I-I-I can't -- I can't accept that.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Jed.

♪♪

♪♪

Jesus!

Stop. I don't want this.

But you want me. I wasn't sure.

It's not true. Yes, it is.

You have to leave now.

I think about you all the time.

Stop it. All the time.

[Door opens]

[Box clatters]

Luke: Hiya![Door closes]

Jed's helping me out with the new security.

You are a star.

And it'll be a relief to know you're around this evening,

because I'm taking my lovely wife out to dinner.

♪♪

You understand it was never Wendy that split us up.

It was losing Rob.

We can never be whole again.

And I think we both know that, but...

maybe we could be the bits that are left over,

to put back together somehow.

♪♪

[Door closes]

♪♪

Hi!

What's wrong?

Where's Jed?

He's talking about leaving.

[Liquid pouring]

Did he say why?

His job's shaky. His flat.

I don't want to talk about it, Mum.

♪♪

♪♪

Rosalie: I didn't know where else to go.

Tom: Rosie...

no mother loses a child without major consequences.

You need to deal with your grief.

Is that what's wrong with me? [Chuckles]

I don't trust myself, Tom.

What I'm thinking, I...

I've been having these...

these weird dreams, and just cr-crazy stuff.

I'm mixing everything up, and I...

After a death, the family has to regroup.

Spend some time together, just the three of you.

Heal yourself through the memory of Rob.

Okay, that sounds a bit priest-y, but...[Laughs]

♪♪

I've lost myself, Tom.

You're the strongest woman I know, Rosie.

Go find yourself again.

♪♪

[Sighs]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Our Father,

who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

thy will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

Forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

[Gasps]

♪♪

Rosalie: If Jed was to move in,

could I trust you to be sensible?

Tom: Get that boy out of your house now,

before something terrible happens.

Jed: Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.

Rosalie: I want you out of my house!

I've lost my son.

I won't lose my daughter, as well.

All I want...

is you. -[Gasping]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪