All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E27.Danger.High.Voltage.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

- Uncle Martin, don't do it.

Life can be beautiful.

- Close that door.

You're creating a draft.

- Oh well, thank goodness.

At least if you were doing
do-it-yourself electrocution,

you wouldn't be concerned
about catching a cold.

- And you are watching
history being made.

Archimedes and his bathtub,

Newton and his apple,

Einstein and his E=MC2,

and now your uncle
Martin takes his place

with the immortals.

- I hate to say this, but
are you sure that your brain

isn't getting overdone.

- My brain is doing
very well, thank you.

Oh Tim, would you mind
watching that dial on the wall.

When it gets near a
hundred, let me know.

- Sure

- If my calculations are
correct, this unit will give me

just enough juice
to make the trip.

- Trip? What trip?

- Back to Mars.

This morning I finally
got my spaceship

in perfect working order.

In a few minutes, I
shall transmit a message

to the control tower
at Copernicus Field.

Galaxy City, here I come.

- Transmit with what?

Have you forgotten that
when you crash landed,

your communication
system went snafu?

You haven't got enough
parts left to sweep

under a postage stamp.

- Tubes, condensers, rheostats,

who needs all that hardware?

Tim, you are looking
at the first organic

sending and receiving set.

- You are going to
be a two-way radio?

That's impossible.

- Why is it that you Earth
people treat every daring idea

with the word impossible?

(frequency adjustment noise)

* I dream of Jeanie with
the light brown hair.

- Well, that's very clever.

What did you prove?

- And now to get it back
on my receiving center,

(frequency adjustment noise)

I didn't have time to
install a stereophonic.

* I dream of Jeanie with
the light brown hair.

- Uncle Martin,
you are a genius.

Holy Toledo, the
dial is up to 99.

It's time to step
out of the oven.

(antennae frequency noise)

- Now let that be a
lesson to you Tim.

Never underestimate the
powers of a Martian.

(explosive noise)

(audience laughs)

(high-pitched radio
noise and beeping)

(playful music)

(instrumental music)

- Well, I don't blame
you for being steamed up.

I mean after all, I did
take my eyes off the dial

and I sort of
fouled up your trip.

- Oh Tim, it wasn't
entirely your fault.

- Oh yes it was.

Now come on Uncle Martin,
get it all out of your system

before you explode.

- Well, you were a little
inattentive to duty.

- Oh, well, a guy makes
one little mistake,

you jump all over him.

- Sorry, I didn't mean
to throw a tantrum.

- Oh, that's alright
Uncle Martin,

I really am very, very sorry.

Boy, you sure got a big
dose of electricity.

How do you feel?

- Actually, quite exhilarated.

Except for a slight buzzing
sensation in my ears.

Like having one's
head in a beehive.

- Let's hope the condition
doesn't last long.

- It better not last longer
than 19 hours and 59 minutes

or ...

- Or what?

- I'd rather not talk about it.

- Uncle Martin, this is Tim,

your pal, your
buddy, your friend.

You can't hold out on me.

- Well it's not
pleasant to talk about,

but there have been
a few recorded cases

of Martians being
over-electrified for
more than 20 hours.

- Recorded cases?

That sounds pretty serious.

- Oh, they managed
to lead normal lives,

as normal as anyone can with
purple and greed plaid cheeks,

and a tendency to act
as lightning rods.

- You're putting me on.

- Scout's honor.

(electricity crackles)

(audience laughs)

Fortunately, I'm aware of
the amount of over-exposure

and it will be a simple matter

to rid myself of the overdosage.

- What are you going to do?

- I can't very well dispose
of the excess electricity

by throwing it in
the wastebasket.

- That's true, so what?

- Tim, you keep
forgetting I'm a Martian.

All I have to do
is exert will power

and discharge power
back in to the circuit.

(blast from brass instruments)

- Uncle Martin?

- Here I am.

I hate to admit it,

but I have a feeling
I did something wrong.

- Ya, this is the power station.

(audience laughs)

Look lady, I can't help
it if your TV set went out

right in the middle of
The Late, Late Show.

Huh?

No, I don't know if Bette
Davis ever finds out

she's really her
own twin sister.

Goodbye

(phone rings)

(phone rings)

(phone rings)

I got the whole town on my neck.

What are you going to do about
getting those lights back on?

- I'm trying Mr. Logan,

but there's something
screwy going on.

Just before the generator blew,

the excess intake
diminished the output

and the output
replaced the intake.

- Intake diminished the output?

Look young man, if you want
to come apart at the seams,

don't do it on company time.

- Yes sir.

(instrumental music)

- Uncle Martin.

What are you doing up?

I thought you went to bed?

- I did, but a man who has
absorbed enough electricity

to light a battleship
can get pretty restless.

- Why didn't you wake me?

I would have kept you company.

- Ahh, you were
snoring so peacefully,

I didn't have the heart.

Besides, I wanted to see how
my experiment would work.

- Oh no, now don't
tell me half the city

is going to play bling
man's bluff again.

- Not at all.

Everything is working perfectly.

(electricity crackles)

- Hey, isn't that dangerous?

- Not a bit.

I aim at the spout
right across the way

and the current goes
right down the drain

and into the ground.

- Get a pen then, what a crazy
way to get rid of gophers.

(audience laughs)

What's the swami bit?

- Oh, well the electrical
current produces
a tingling affect

and the wet cloth
alleviates the condition.

Stand back Tim.

(electricity crackles)

I call that my short
circuit slider.

(sneezes)

- Gesundheit

You know you're
going to catch a cold

standing next to an
open door like that?

- Believe me, I'd
rather have a sniffle

than to have that current in
there for more than 20 hours.

- I don't blame you.

From what you told about about
that Martian electri-tidis,

I wouldn't wish it on my boss.

I'll get you a scarf.

(sneezes)

(radio begins
playing swing music)

How about that, it
turned itself on.

(audience laughs)

- Tim, I wonder if ...

(sneezes)

(radio begins
playing swing music)

(desk fan begins to hum)

I'm afraid I'm the spook.

Every time I sneeze,
my electrical impulses

activate the switches.

(blender hums)

(coffee pot percolates)

(mixer whirls)

(toaster pops)

(audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin, do you
realize it's three o'clock

in the morning?

- I can't help it.

I'm trying not to ...

(sneezes)

(devices roar)

- Uncle Martin, you
are going to wake up

the whole neighborhood.

- Correction, I have a
feeling they're already awake.

(crowd clamoring)

(electricity buzzes)

- Don't sneeze, don't
sneeze, don't sneeze.

- Madam, I assure you,
we had nothing to do

with turning on your
power lawnmower.

Lady, I can't help it
if it plowed through

your prize rose bushes.

Well, there's no need
to take that attitude.

I can assure you,
steps are being taken

to prevent this from
ever happening again.

Bye.

What steps are we taking?

- All of 'em.

But none of 'em work.

You know, I was thinking.

Maybe somebody's come up with
a new form of remote control.

- This thing is getting
too hot to handle.

I'm going to call in the police.

- Good morning Tim.

- Oh, hi Uncle Martin.

Look, I have to
go to the office,

but I thought I'd wait
around and see how you were

before I left.

- Thank you.

I slept like a proverbial log.

That gentle, constant
humming in my ears

was very conducive to slumber.

- Well, you look a lot better,

and I might add that
you've got the old,

if you'll pardon the expression,

the old spark back.

- I took a reading this morning

and my voltage is decreasing.

As a matter of fact, I
lost quite a lot of it

while I was asleep.

- After last night, I can't
say that I'd blame you.

You probably lost a whole
bushel basket full of kilowatts

with each gazuntite.

- Don't remind me.

Anything in he paper about it?

- No there's not,
you disappointed?

- Hardly, I'm happy to
retain my anonymity.

But still a certain
amount of recognition

would seem in order.

(hands clap)

- I'll see you.

I'm going to salt mines.

- Well, don't
worry about me Tim.

I'll be a, (sneezes)

- Well, don't look
so happy about it.

You probably blew
out the whole radio.

I guess you did.

- [Announcer] With regard to
the malicious power tampering

of last night, the police
department predicts

an early arrest.

An official statement from
the police department reads

quote whoever was guilty
of last night's outrage

may be assured that we'll
hunt him down where he may be.

We'll convict him and
we'll put the vandal

behind bars where he belongs.

And now, for the weather.

(radio knob clicks off)

- Uncle martin, I
want you to know

that no matter what happens,

I will stand by you.

(static crackles)

But not too close.

(knocking)

- Whoever it is, go away.

I'm too old and weak
to have visitors today.

What are you doing down there?

(audience laughs)

- Well you look just like
Humphrey Bogart waiting

for the feds to arrive.

All you need now is a chopper.

(imitates bullet spray)

- I thought it unwise to
encourage unwelcomed visitors

while I'm so hot.

In more senses of
the word than one.

- Well haven't you been
able to cool off any?

- Not fast enough.

It's going to be nip and
tuck as to whether I can

de-juice myself before
the 20-hour limit is up.

- Uncle Martin, do you realize
you have exactly 34 minutes

and 12 seconds.

- Don't remind me.
Don't remind me.

Tim, you don't see
any symptoms of the

Martian's
electro-dermatitis, do you?

- I could give you a much
better clinical analysis

if I knew what I
was looking for.

- Well, it usually
starts on the face

with green lines or
fuchsia horizontal ones.

- No.

- Well, how about intersecting
magenta and turquoise lines,

in a sort of
herringbone pattern?

- No, no Uncle Martin.

You look as handsome
as you ever did.

- Thank you.

- Uh huh.

- Well, back to operation
de-electrification.

(audience laughs)

- You're using this to
get rid of electricity?

- Well it's a well known
fact that kinetic rhythm

can be exhilarated by stimuli.

Besides, it's much
more comfortable

than sitting in
a straight chair.

- That I understand.

You know, it's a good thing
the Chamber of Commerce

hasn't heard about this
because you could become

a tourist attraction,
like Old Faithful.

- I think that remark is
in questionable taste.

- Well, I'm sorry Uncle Martin.

It's just that I get
light-headed in the steam room.

(audience laughs)

- What is it Tim?

- Oh, it's nothing,
nothing, nothing.

- Speak boy, speak, speak.

I can take it.

Well, it's this, nothing,
it's just, well you,

got a little spot on your chin.

But it's very small,
it's infinitesimal.

I wouldn't worry about it.

- Is it shaped like a globe?

- Mm-hmm.

- With a lot of smaller
globes grouped about it?

- Mm-hmm.

- Just as I thought.

The Saturnian Syndrome.

- Oh nonsense,

you probably just cut
yourself shaving this morning.

- Uh-huh, and
interesting theory.

Except I didn't
shave this morning.

- Well, the way you've
got this thing perking,

you'll have it made before you
can say Thomas Alva Edison.

(audience laughs)

- Well, don't slow down now.

- Perhaps some music would
help me keep up the tempo.

Would you mind
turning on the radio?

- Alright, how about a
little rock and roll?

- No, no, no.

I'd rather have the
electro-dermatitis.

Perhaps something
like a Sousa march

would help me keep
up the rhythm.

(radio clicks on)

- [Announcer] Ending in a
knock-out in the eighth round,

excuse me ladies and gentlemen.

I've just been handed
a bulletin regarding

last night's power disturbances.

The police department
has requisitioned a fleet

of mobile radar detection
trucks from the signal corps

to scout the city
in an all-out effort

to capture the vandal.

Now to continue
with our sport cast.

- Tim, with detection devices,
they'll soon track me down.

- Ya, well Uncle Martin,
look, don't worry about it.

Because when they say
requisition they mean

they're going to pass
the buck for a week or so

just to see who will ...

(trumpets blast)

Who, who?

- If you're trying
to imitate an owl,

I'm not in the mood
for bird calls.

(static crackles)

- Don't panic, don't panic.

There's got to be
a way out of this.

All we've got to do
is use our heads.

Uh, uh, uh, alright
there's no way out of this.

- Say, when you
tackle a problem,

you have all the
tenacity of a bulldog,

a hysterical bulldog.

- Now, if worse comes to worse,
and they do come up here,

what's to stop you from
just telling the truth?

- You mean that I'm a Martian?

That I overcharged
myself by plugging into

an electrical circuit,

- Okay, okay, that's out.

Ahh, now wait a minute.

Now if they do get your signal,

and they do come up here,

what's to stop you from (buzzing
sound) then you're gone.

You're gone, gone.

- True, but then they'd
start snooping around

and find the spaceship.

I'd never get back home.

- They're gone.

All that worrying for nothing.

- Officer, look at that.

That needle's practically
jumping off the dial.

- Can you tell where
it's coming from?

- Seems to be coming
from back there.

- Well, what are we waiting for?

(device clicks)

- Uncle Martin,
you are too much.

Now, anybody else
would have panicked.

- It's the sign of a
superior mentality,

to keep one's poise in
the face of adversity.

Jumping Jupiter.

Rome is burning,

and I'm sitting here
like Whistler's Mother.

(audience laughs)

No, Tim.

I can't discharge
any electricity now.

With that truck
anywhere within a mile,

it would be like sending an
invitation to come and get me.

- Well, you've got to get
rid of it someway, I mean,

fast.

- Of course (static discharges)

Got the solution.

Tim, would you drive me?

- Sure, where?

- Where is the one place I
can discharge the electricity

and not create any havoc?

- Surprise me?

- Right back into the
generator at the power house.

- The power house?

Why you'd be putting your head

right back in the lion's mouth.

- Perhaps, but as you would
say, it is desperation time.

- If this works, it's going
to make a great chapter

when I write my biography.

Uh-oh, trouble.

(device clicks)

(static pops)

(audience laughs)

Oh, that was a tough break.

What do we do now?

- Bye now.

- Well now where are you going?

- No time for explanations.

I'll see you later, I hope.

(cosmic frequency sound
slides up and down)

- Whatever it is, it's
around here alright.

(device clicks)

You better hang on to that gizmo

before it jumps right
out of your hand.

(cosmic frequency sound
slides up and down)

(Vehicle door slams shut)

(device clicks)

- It's crazy.

This leads us right
back to the truck.

(device pops)

(audience laughs)

- Aw, you just can't trust
those mechanical gadgets.

- Hi, O'Hara of The Sun.

Listen, I suppose you guys

are investigating
a power failure.

- That's right.

- Oh, well, look, would
you mind if I tag along.

I'd like to watch two
capable, efficient,

hard-working public servants.

- Okay with me.

Get in the back of the truck.

- Thanks.

- Oh, if you take any pictures,

would you get the
left side of my face?

My wife says I look like
John Barrymore in a profile.

(audience laughs)

- Would you mind
sitting somewhere else?

You're taking the crease
out of my trousers.

- Uncle Martin, I hope you
know what you are doing.

This is a power company truck.

- Can you think of a better
way to get to the power house?

- If it goes there.

- I rather think it will.

- [Gibson] Mr. Logan,
Gibson reporting.

My equipment's going haywire.

- [Mr. Logan] I've got
my own troubles Gibson.

You better come right
back to the power house

and make it snappy.

- You see.

- [Mike] 923
reporting. All clear

in the Wilshire La Brea section.

- Okay Mike, keep cruising.

Over and out.

Now what's all this
about the equipment?

- Well the meter
practically blew up my face.

I dropped the police officer
down by the police station.

- Well let me see here.

(ascending cosmic frequency)

No, I guess we have
enough trucks out there.

You better get back on the job.

- Alright, as soon
as I have my lunch.

- So, you're from The Sun.

(phone rings)

Excuse me.

Hello.

(cosmic frequency)

(ascending and descending
cosmic frequency)

Thank you Mr. Jones, thank you.

- Boy this looks
like GHQ on D-Day.

No one's going to get
through this defense.

- See, when you
write your story,

you might mention
my military career.

I used to be a
corporal in the ROTC.

(audience laughs)

I have a photograph
of myself in uniform.

Perhaps you can use it.

There, how about that?

- Well, yes, I'll be sure
and play up this angle.

Well, I can see that
you're terribly busy,

so I'll just wait for you
outside. (chuckles nervously)

It's a very recent
picture, isn't it?

(audience laughs)

- What about-

(phone rings)

- Oh, hold it.

That's no kind of a
lunch for a working man.

No, look I feel I owe
you sort of a favor

for giving me a lift down here.

There's a wonderful little
diner just down the road.

- But I happen to like
cold fried egg sandwiches.

- Look, I don't want to fail
to mention you in my article,

and I don't want to
misspell your name.

Now, how is Gibson spelled?

With an E or with an O?

- With an O.

- A No?

- No. O.

- O.

- More Gibsons
spell it with an E.

- Not me.

- More do than don't.

- I don't.

- If you don't believe
me, I can prove it to you

by looking in the the
telephone directory

in the phone booth
right outside.

- I believe you.

(cosmic rays sounds)

- Do you see that?

- No.

(audience laughs)

- [Tim] We'll get you
out of here, alright.

Push.

One, two, that's it.

Push

- [Gibson] Oh, it's coming off

(cosmic frequencies
ascend and descend)

(electricity crackles)

- Alright, now push.

Thanks a lot.

And with the
cooperation of the power

and police departments, the
situation is well in hand.

Particularly noteworthy were
the efforts of Homer P. Gibson

who typifies the highest
standards of a man

in public service.

- Well, that's the least you
could do after holding him

in that box.

- You don't think I
poured it on too thick?

- Tim, as an observer of
human nature, I'd say that

there are only two
things that can never

be poured on too thick.

And this is the other one.

(cosmic frequency slides up)

(pop orchestra music)