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1
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:56,014
Mom's not gonna eat cupcakes that have
clearly been fingered by tiny hands.
2
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,140
They're for me.
3
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,393
It's stressful being the buffer
between you two.
4
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,603
I've only been doing it my whole life.
5
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,605
I've been a buffer for you.
6
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:06,316
I mean, remember that time
I came with you to confront Mom
7
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,835
when you secretly gave her that loan?
8
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,237
You had to know she was gonna find out.
9
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:14,366
Look, Mallory, not to get super dark,
but I thought she'd die first.
10
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,622
Hey, so what happened
with square-jawed Ryan?
11
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,584
Nothing. Just a bunch of sex and stuff.
12
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,751
Good for you.
13
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:27,212
I know. He has, like, 17 abs.
14
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:30,716
Was it hot? Was it fun?
Was it hot and fun?
15
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:34,720
It was... many things.
16
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,306
Wow, this is the least graphic
you've ever been.
17
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:40,600
Where are the disgusting,
yet creative, descriptors?
18
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:43,520
I may have just gotten more discreet
in my old age.
19
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:47,774
- His penis had abs.
- There it is.
20
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:08,587
Hi, Mommy, who inspires me
every day to be a better Brianna.
21
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:12,591
You had no right to get involved
in my business.
22
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,510
Okay, I see we're diving right in there.
23
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,804
Mom, I wasn't trying to get involved.
24
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,641
I was trying to help you out.
Where's Frankie?
25
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,351
- Frankie!
- She's not here.
26
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,728
- Where is she?
- Don't know, don't care.
27
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,356
Typical Frankie,
leaving when the heat's at the door.
28
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:30,567
She's probably halfway to Borrego
right now, wearing one of her moustaches.
29
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,987
You know, I never would have taken
that money if I'd known it was from you.
30
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:36,657
I know and that's why I didn't tell you.
31
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,660
- That's smart, right?
- No!
32
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,164
What does it matter
where the money came from?
33
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,499
It matters.
34
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,175
Can I just say,
35
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,177
in terms of terrible things
Brianna's done,
36
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,280
giving you money
isn't exactly at the top of the list.
37
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,138
Thank you!
38
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,349
So what, exactly, is the problem?
39
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,517
The problem.
40
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,185
You want to know what the problem is?
41
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:11,608
The problem is... children aren't
supposed to do this for parents.
42
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,902
Parents are supposed to do this
for children.
43
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:17,239
Mom, at a certain point
aren't we supposed to do things for you?
44
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,784
Because we love you
and you gave us life...
45
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,161
and good hair.
46
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,039
Maybe it's getting to be that time.
47
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,128
It is not "that time."
48
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,880
Do you understand me?
It is not "that time"!
49
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,758
We are not at "that time."
50
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,723
He's dead, Mom. You got him.
51
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:48,812
I want to take this away.
52
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,900
So we started off in a classic standoff.
53
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,153
I was looking at him,
he was looking at me,
54
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,279
giving me the stink eye.
55
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,448
No one was backing down.
56
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:03,827
And then I remembered what my therapist
said about being more authoritative,
57
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,203
so I stood my ground.
58
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:09,875
I said, "You hairless monster.
You poop in the litter box!"
59
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:13,003
- Whoa.
- Yeah. And ever since then, guess what?
60
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,921
Gregory poops in the litter box.
61
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:19,801
No, no, no. He still poops in my shoes,
but I can tell he feels horrible about it.
62
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:23,221
You are a tough one.
63
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:24,681
You can be tough, too.
64
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,434
Well, I have to be. I'm the boss now.
65
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,020
You want to try bossing me around?
66
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,272
Maybe.
67
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,149
Pour me some more wine, please.
68
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:36,526
No, no, not please. Not please.
69
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,529
Pour me some more wine.
70
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,240
If you insist.
71
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,997
Is this low-histamine wine
cooperating with your allergies?
72
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,250
No, I'm completely inflamed.
73
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,335
Hmm.
74
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,968
Oh, Bud, I'm sorry.
I know I'm not supposed to be here...
75
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,513
Coyote, you are such an ass...
Mom?
76
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,932
I know. I am an ass-mom.
77
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,059
But she called me really freaking out.
78
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,727
- What's wrong?
- I'm bleeding!
79
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,521
- What?!
- Emotionally.
80
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:16,817
Ahh, Mom, we talked about the difference
between physical and emotional bleeding.
81
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,987
- What the hell's going on?
- I think a fight with Grace?
82
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:24,658
I don't know, it's hard to say.
She was rambling like a prison letter.
83
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,369
You need to get her out of here
because I had an evening planned.
84
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,455
Bud, this is not about you.
Something happened.
85
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,415
My dummy exploded.
86
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,378
It's crazy how often
she has cause to say that.
87
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,046
Hi, Allison.
88
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:38,964
Hi.
89
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,507
How's your ichthyosis?
90
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,301
Drying up. I'm starting to slough.
91
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:47,013
- How are you?
- Oh! My roommate has a gun!
92
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,224
Like a real gun
or like an emotional kind of...
93
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:52,435
Uh, right now, in this moment,
is there something that I need to do?
94
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,105
- Because if not...
- Yes. No. Yes.
95
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:59,276
Look, team, I will tell you everything
in a moment, but I'm beat.
96
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,779
- Of course. Yeah, use Bud's bed.
- Uh...
97
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,240
Bud was kind of planning on
using Bud's bed.
98
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,367
Oh, thank you, Coyote.
99
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,496
Oh, rose petals!
100
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,331
Oh, thank you, Bud.
101
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,750
Well, where are we gonna fuck?
102
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,462
Allison, um... I'm on this.
103
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:23,174
Just give me a second to put out this
non-fire and I will be right with you.
104
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:26,636
Bud! I didn't know you had silk sheets.
105
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,431
Okay. Well, I think I'm gonna head out.
106
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:33,143
Okay, just give me an hour
and then come back.
107
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,229
If you'd like, consider that an order.
108
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,315
I like.
109
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,234
See you in an hour.
110
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,992
Oh, look at that,
her ichthyosis really does look better.
111
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:56,124
According to my mother,
your mother has a gun. Is this true?
112
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,001
Wait, Frankie found Louise?
113
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,546
- Your mother's gun is named Louise?
- Your brother's name is Coyote?
114
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,924
- Did Grace mention a shooting?
- No.
115
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,688
- Is that why Frankie's not here?
- We're still piecing it together.
116
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,721
All I know is that my bed,
117
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,765
which I specifically
re-pillowed for Allison,
118
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,016
is now occupied by my mother.
119
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:17,479
And the fact that this is a problem
is somehow lost on my brother.
120
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:18,813
Oh, I've stopped listening.
121
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,025
Ooh...
122
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:28,198
Did something happen
between you and Frankie and Louise?
123
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,075
Mom...
124
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,704
Did you take a shot at Frankie?
125
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:39,960
Please, she was barely in the house
when the firearm discharged.
126
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:43,213
I could feel the heat of the bullets
whizzing by my head!
127
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,216
You shot at your best friend?
128
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,133
No!
129
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,804
I shot at an extremely life-like piñata.
130
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:54,808
Oh, it looked just like me.
She knew what she was doing.
131
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:58,019
She is a dangerous, menacing lunatic.
132
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,354
Has she called?
133
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,815
I'm not calling her.
I need another drink.
134
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,400
Or...
135
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,317
What?
136
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,361
We could smoke all of Frankie's pot.
137
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:10,532
I promised her if I ever smoked the pot
I would do it with her.
138
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:13,702
Or... it's a double "fuck you."
139
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,870
I don't care for that language...
140
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,790
but fuck her!
141
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,875
You know what might help you right now?
142
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,378
A nice, long cuddle...
143
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:26,131
Oh, I thought you'd never ask.
144
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:29,676
With Jacob! You know,
your boyfriend at his home.
145
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,513
- He's a little upset with me.
- Oy.
146
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:37,726
Mom, I think what you and Brianna
tried to do for Grace was nice.
147
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,478
Oh, thank you, son-friend.
148
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,980
I think so, too.
149
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,608
Maybe you guys could go think thoughts
someplace together! Like a Denny's.
150
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,278
Bud, she's really shaken up.
151
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:53,074
Normally, I'm not wild about being
talked about in the third person...
152
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:56,536
but "she" is really shaken up.
153
00:08:56,619 --> 00:09:00,457
Would a little music therapy
be good right about now?
154
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,042
You mean a jam sesh?
155
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:05,962
No, no, no, let's not turn this into
one of Coyote's sad open mic nights.
156
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,297
They're not sad.
157
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,300
Uh, you have to pay to perform.
158
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,802
Do you still know "Sister Golden Hair"?
159
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,512
Just the intro.
160
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,390
That's cool, just play a bunch of that.
161
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,517
No! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
162
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:20,477
Mom!
163
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,271
I've got an idea.
What if I get you a hotel room?
164
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,316
A nice comfortable bed, free cable?
165
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,817
Room service?
166
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:32,655
You and the, uh, "band" could trash it.
167
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:38,495
Put the word "vegan" before "room service"
and you've got yourself a deal.
168
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,956
Oh, wait, there's Rizzoli...
169
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,542
- He lied to me!- All About Eve...
170
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:47,378
- And it's out of here!
- The Padres.
171
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:50,381
Think you could pick a channel
and stick with it?
172
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,929
- Robert.
- Hmm?
173
00:09:56,012 --> 00:10:00,975
You abused your power as the remote holder
and now I'm taking it.
174
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,143
Hey, I'm watching that.
175
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,772
Yes, well, I'm sorry to pull you away
176
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:10,777
from your new favorite Korean soap opera
with no subtitles, but we need to talk.
177
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,404
I can figure out
what they're saying from context.
178
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,365
It's the hallmark of good storytelling.
179
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,284
Like, for example,
you see that fellow on the phone?
180
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,703
He has a secret pet chicken named Doug,
181
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:24,374
but animals are not allowed
in his building so he's deeply ashamed.
182
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:29,337
Is it possible you're projecting
onto this nice Korean gentleman and Doug?
183
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,214
I am not.
184
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:36,052
Right. So the fugue state you've been in
has nothing to do with your mother?
185
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,805
That's right.
I told her the truth.
186
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:42,225
She reacted horribly like I knew
she would and that's that.
187
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,395
She's your mother, for God's sake.
How could you not be affected by her?
188
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,647
Listen, Sol, I know you're trying to help,
189
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:51,734
but really, I don't want
to think about her anymore, okay?
190
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,406
All right.
191
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,199
If that's what you want.
192
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,620
I'm sorry.
You've been very patient with me
193
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,581
and I shouldn't take it all out on you.
194
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,166
That's what I'm here for.
195
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,339
How about we make
a romantic evening of it?
196
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,635
- You'd be up for that?
- And why wouldn't I be?
197
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:22,140
I don't know. I guess you haven't seemed
terribly interested in romance lately.
198
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,601
Actually, not since we moved in.
199
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,979
Really? No. Didn't we...
200
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,522
The night Peter was here?
201
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,607
Nope.
202
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:35,445
Oh. The night I brought home
lobster tails?
203
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,572
That was in the old house.
204
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,782
Really? Oh my.
205
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:41,743
They were good tails.
206
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,745
You drank the melted butter.
207
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,788
You saw that?
208
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,582
- I see everything.
- All right.
209
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,917
We're gonna fix this right now.
210
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,586
You and I are going to make
a delicious dinner,
211
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,880
then afterwards,
we're gonna light some candles
212
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,925
and then pop a nice,
chilled bottle of champagne.
213
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,970
You mean the gateway drug to romance?
214
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,056
You've caught my drift.
215
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,934
You all right with missing your program?
216
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:09,938
I've seen this one before.
It does not end well for the chicken.
217
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,606
Come, my love.
218
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,654
- That's it.
- Go, Mom!
219
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:27,622
It's still not working.
220
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:32,168
No, I told you the pot doesn't work on me.
221
00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:35,171
My mouth is dry.
222
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,925
Marijuana's finally met its match:
223
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,551
Grace Hanson.
224
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:43,596
There's not enough weed in this world
to relax that woman.
225
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,601
- So?
- So what?
226
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,688
- Are you gonna see him again?
- See who?
227
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,939
The guy with the penis abs.
228
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,858
Jesus, Mallory.
229
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,277
What are you not telling me?
Was he bad at sex?
230
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,698
No. He was very professional.
231
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:02,907
Then what's the problem?
232
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,493
He was... a professional.
233
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,786
Like a lawyer?
234
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:10,039
Well, yeah, sort of like a lawyer.
He charged me $300 for the hour.
235
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,167
I'm too stoned to play this game.
What are you saying?
236
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:14,627
He was a working man.
237
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,588
A man of the night.
238
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,341
Has a heart of gold.
239
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,094
Jesus, Mallory, he's a hooker.
240
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,805
- What?
- Shh.
241
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:28,599
Do you really want Mom
to find out that I'm a Jean?
242
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:29,559
What's a Jean?
243
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,311
It's a female John. Can you keep up?
244
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,189
Do you know what I just realized?
245
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,859
The kitchen is still clean.
246
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,445
It's been clean all day.
247
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,824
The same amount of time
Frankie's been gone.
248
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,869
Man, I could get used to this.
249
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,037
You say that now.
250
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,288
You'd miss her.
251
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,539
You'd miss...
252
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,499
her.
253
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:58,129
Hair in my brush? Paint in my shower?
254
00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,881
Her in my shower?
255
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,924
Shower in my kitchen?
256
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:05,011
Do you know what I would pay
for some peace and quiet around here?
257
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,721
Three hundred dollars?
258
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:12,560
Or, you could pay nothing
because you'd hate living alone.
259
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:16,022
And you'd have no one
to boss around or shoot at.
260
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,316
I wouldn't hate living alone.
I've done it already.
261
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,110
- When?
- With your father.
262
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,238
Ouf.
263
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:27,742
There's nothing like being
with somebody and still feeling alone.
264
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,495
I know.
265
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,454
What's wrong?
266
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,708
Everything and nothing, you know?
267
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,544
Just... everything and nothing.
268
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,297
Ouf.
269
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,300
No, no, no to that.
270
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,094
No to loneliness.
271
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,304
I have a husband and a billion kids!
272
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,306
And you're not lonely!
273
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,059
I bet you never feel alone
when you're with Frankie.
274
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,311
Huh. No.
275
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,605
Then what are you doing?
You have a Frankie.
276
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,315
I wish I had a Frankie.
277
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,109
I am...
278
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,280
I mean, I thought I was your Frankie.
279
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:10,701
You are. You are.
280
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,789
See, Mom?
Don't you want this with Frankie?
281
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,165
Why?
282
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,458
I have it with you.
283
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,546
We're having it right now.
284
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:26,843
Maybe the three of us can finally be close
like I've heard families can get.
285
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,388
You know, we can hang out more,
just like tonight.
286
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,099
And we can smoke the pot
and have the talks.
287
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,101
Maybe we could start a book club.
288
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,773
Get your fucking mother over here.
289
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,489
Hey, hey, Mom.
290
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,619
Want to go for a ride in the trunk?
291
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:57,373
Yeah! No! Wait, where are we going?
292
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,749
To the beach house.
293
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,169
Oh, hell-to-the-nah.
294
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,174
Fuck! That's Allison.
It's been an hour already?
295
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,635
It's been 87 minutes.
For some reason, I know that.
296
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,972
- Hey.
- Hey. Oh.
297
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,766
- This is being fixed, I promise.
- Let's just call it a night.
298
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,435
There's a lot going on here.
299
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,104
She's talking about our tasty riffs.
300
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:23,941
- Okay, everybody, let's go.
- I'm not going to the beach.
301
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:26,194
- Then you're going to the vegan hotel.
- All right.
302
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,155
But first we have to go to CVS
for a toothbrush,
303
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,616
and then to Target
for a new pair of pajamas...
304
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,367
- Mom, no...
- and then back to CVS
305
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:34,911
because I always forget something.
306
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,871
Good, and you know I need some ChapStick.
307
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,456
Oh, I actually have some ChapStick.
308
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,291
Wait! Wait.
309
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:42,627
Let me be direct.
310
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,671
Mom, we're gonna go back to the beach
house, you're gonna grab your things,
311
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,484
and both of you are gonna go
to the vegan hotel,
312
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,219
where I'm sure there will be
cruelty-free ChapStick.
313
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,570
Hello, my love.
314
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,783
Hey, there.
315
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,827
You notice anything different about me?
316
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:21,374
Other than the way
you're flirting with that doorway?
317
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,835
I'm wearing silk, Sol.
318
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:28,422
Not cotton, not flannel, but silk.
319
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,425
Nature's sexiest fabric.
320
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,554
It clings in all the right places.
321
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,849
Actually, it clings in all places.
322
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,151
Very nice.
323
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,529
The pajamas are nice, too.
324
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,373
What's wrong?
325
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,005
- What is it?
- Ah, nothing.
326
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,049
I have some heartburn.
327
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,970
I'll make some tea. Excuse me.
328
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,020
Hmm.
329
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,235
Isn't this fun?
330
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:32,987
Yeah. We can do you next.
331
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,864
No, we're doing Brianna next.
332
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,783
No, I think Brianna's gonna pass on...
333
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,327
She calls it "Jamaica hair."
334
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:41,203
It's Jamaica hair.
335
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:44,206
Ooh, but, look,
here's someone who might like it.
336
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,208
We just came to get my mom's weed.
337
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:49,170
Okay.
338
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,339
I think we found it.
339
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,049
I smoked on it, too.
340
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:56,302
You said you'd never smoke without me.
341
00:18:57,094 --> 00:19:00,556
But then you also said
you didn't have a gun either, so...
342
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,810
Whoo, whoo! Braid train!
Frankie, climb aboard!
343
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,479
An emphatic "No, thank you"
344
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:09,607
followed by "You really should
look in a mirror."
345
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,236
- No.
- Remember what I did to those lifeguards
346
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,448
who tried to block me
from double-tubing down that lazy river?
347
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:20,368
- Yes.
- This has to stop.
348
00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:21,661
And you want to know why?
349
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:25,289
Because the two of you love each other.
350
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,166
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I said it. Love.
351
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:30,336
L-O-V-E. L-U-V if you're feeling sassy.
352
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,796
I'm not feeling sassy.
353
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,048
Oh, you're never feeling sassy.
354
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:37,051
Well, you wouldn't know
what sassy looks like on me.
355
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,053
Oh, why don't you eat a bowl of wangs!
356
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,346
Bud, we should go.
357
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,015
"Bowl of wangs" is how it started
with those lifeguards.
358
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,518
This is ridiculous.
You two are best friends!
359
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:50,398
And everyone who knows you can see that,
even if we don't understand how.
360
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:53,693
Yeah, Mom, come on. You were just saying
how much Frankie means to you.
361
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,529
She said she never... Ow.
She said she nev... Ow!
362
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,906
She said she never felt alone
when she was with you. Mom.
363
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,783
That's a really nice thing
for Grace to say,
364
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,994
and she wouldn't have pulled so hard
on Mallory's hair if it wasn't true.
365
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,664
Now, I know you're upset about the gun
366
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:09,792
and no one here
is trying to minimize that.
367
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,629
May I ask what is so funny?
368
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,965
You look just like your dummy right now.
369
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,342
What? Is there a hole in my face?
370
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:21,762
Oh, yes! And it's going, "Wah wah wah..."
371
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:25,057
- Oh, God. The pot's kicking in.
- No, no, no, it doesn't affect me.
372
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,185
Yeah, it does, Mom. It does.
373
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,604
- Let's go for a walk. Yeah.
- Wah!
374
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,065
- You gotta stop doing that, Mom.
- Choo-choo!
375
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,650
Oh, this is madness.
376
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,318
Mom. Mom!
377
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:40,489
She's high.
She's not making fun of you, okay?
378
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,253
People say crazy things when they're high.
379
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,411
I say some of my most profound shit
when I'm high!
380
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,079
Well, that's...
381
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:48,539
It's Allison.
382
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,334
Hey, baby, can you hang on one sec?
383
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,296
Hey, Bud, I have my therapist,
Dr. Huang, on the line.
384
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:56,756
Dr. Huang, are you there?
385
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,944
He's there, he just always
hits the mute button with his face.
386
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,970
And why is Dr. Huang on the line?
387
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,805
Oops! Sorry about that. I'm here.
388
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:07,516
Dr. Huang wants to talk to you
about some of your family issues.
389
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,145
He thinks that your enmeshment with them
is what's holding us back.
390
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:15,483
I withhold a formal diagnosis
until we have a chance to talk at length.
391
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:20,029
No. Allison, I will be home in 20 minutes,
27 minutes if there is traffic.
392
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:23,783
Dr. Huang, it is lovely to meet you.
I have to hang up now.
393
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:27,036
But... No, Bud. Just wait. Come on...
394
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,370
Coyote, you got this?
395
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,497
Hard no.
396
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,999
- Mom, Coyote's got this.
- No, Bud, I do not got this.
397
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:34,877
You need to try, which is what you
should have done in the first place
398
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,545
- when Mom called you.
- I did try!
399
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:39,924
No, you didn't, you just brought her back
to my place and made me deal with it.
400
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:42,384
Because I don't have a place.
401
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:45,930
I know! And don't you think
it's about time to change that?
402
00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:48,140
- Hey.
- I'm trying to change that.
403
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,683
I've been saving up.
404
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:53,646
And blowing all of your savings on things
like new guitars for your open mic nights!
405
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:55,290
Because the only thing
more pathetic than that
406
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,441
is sleeping
on your brother's couch for 18 months!
407
00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:59,109
Boys, please!
408
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:02,905
If you wanted me gone,
you could have said so at any time.
409
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:07,034
But it's only an issue now
because you're finally getting laid.
410
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:10,538
Congratulations on finding someone
more neurotic than you!
411
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,082
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you.
412
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:16,752
Where are you gonna go?
413
00:22:17,628 --> 00:22:20,089
Stop it! Are you happy now?
414
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,340
No, I'm not happy now.
415
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:25,302
Mom, you need to fix this thing with Grace
or I'm gonna throw myself into the river.
416
00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:28,222
- The ocean's closer.
- Mom, I am serious.
417
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:31,225
I am, too. I've tried with her.
418
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:35,020
Well, try harder.
Or sell this place and move on.
419
00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:36,689
I'm not selling anything.
420
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:39,858
And for the record, I don't need
to be the one to try harder.
421
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:44,113
In 40 years, your father and I
never had a fight like this.
422
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,907
You want to know why?
Because he would cave in to your tantrums.
423
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,242
Tantrums?
424
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:52,955
One more word and I'm not gonna
let you take me to my vegan hotel.
425
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,666
Good! I have things to do.
426
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,302
What's she staring at?
427
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:08,804
Everything.
428
00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:14,476
Has anything she's said
in the last ten minutes made sense?
429
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,228
She called me Shelley.
430
00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,813
You look like a Shelley.
431
00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:22,693
- I mean...
- Really?
432
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:24,111
You don't not.
433
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,158
Let's go.
434
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:32,536
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Frankie, come on.
435
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,622
No. I'm going to my hotel,
where I'm welcome.
436
00:23:34,705 --> 00:23:39,418
Where there's a deeply unsatisfying shower
and the trash compactor is a goat.
437
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:41,795
No, no, no. Frankie.
438
00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:44,131
- What would it take to get you to stay?
- Nothing.
439
00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:46,592
I'm not interested
in living under the same roof
440
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:50,679
with someone who does
shitty, sneaky things behind my back.
441
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:54,266
I've already lived that nightmare.
I'm not doing that anymore.
442
00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:56,435
Then go home.
443
00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:58,729
I am home, sea witch.
444
00:24:03,984 --> 00:24:05,027
She locked us out.
445
00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:10,324
- Did you lock us out?
- Yeah, I did.
446
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,409
Because you already locked me out...
447
00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:13,911
Please, don't say it.
448
00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:15,704
Metaphorically.
449
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:18,082
You make all the decisions
for the business,
450
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:22,002
you decide what's best for me,
and you don't include me.
451
00:24:22,086 --> 00:24:23,712
That's how you locked me out.
452
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:25,923
Metaphorically.
453
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:30,511
You decided to have a gun
without even telling me.
454
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:33,305
How could I tell you?
455
00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:37,726
You pretend to be so open-minded,
but how often do you actually listen
456
00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:41,980
before you plug up your ears
or burst into song?
457
00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:43,399
Listen to what?
458
00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:47,152
To why I even have a gun to begin with.
459
00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:49,196
Well, I assume to blow holes in people.
460
00:24:50,656 --> 00:24:51,865
See?
461
00:24:51,949 --> 00:24:54,076
Okay, why do you have a gun?
462
00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:55,828
No, never mind.
463
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:58,205
No! No backsies.
464
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:02,251
Damn you, Grace!
465
00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:06,005
You've appealed
to my emotionally curious nature.
466
00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:13,095
I'm opening the door just a crack.
467
00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:22,479
So, Robert gave you the gun?
468
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,235
When the kids went away to college.
469
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,362
And, of course, he was never home.
470
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:34,658
And even when he was, he was being gay
with Sol, not straight with me.
471
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,535
Ha. Nice.
472
00:25:36,618 --> 00:25:38,620
Anyway, I was in that house,
473
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:42,875
that big, horrible house
all by myself and I was scared.
474
00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:46,336
And Robert's solution
was to give me a gun.
475
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:51,925
I guess because...
he couldn't give me anything else.
476
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:58,307
But that was all I had all those years
to make me feel safe.
477
00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:03,061
But you don't live in that big,
horrible house anymore.
478
00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:05,522
You live with me.
479
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:07,441
I know.
480
00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:11,612
I know. In a way nicer house.
481
00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:15,991
With a way nicer person.
482
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:21,163
Who usually likes to be with me
all the time.
483
00:26:22,164 --> 00:26:24,291
Sometimes too much.
484
00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:28,378
But I like that.
485
00:26:29,713 --> 00:26:31,298
Sometimes too much.
486
00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:35,511
So why do you still need the gun?
487
00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:41,725
I guess I don't.
488
00:26:43,811 --> 00:26:45,229
Will you get rid of it?
489
00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:50,484
I will. I will.
490
00:26:56,198 --> 00:26:58,116
I promise.
491
00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,459
Did they just lock us out?
492
00:27:57,134 --> 00:27:58,510
Okay, good night.
37718
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