Original subtitles

♪ Let's go on an adventure! ♪

♪ That isn't very wise! ♪

[laughs]

I love you guys.

Whaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

♪ This is getting crazier! ♪

♪ It's like we're Endangered.... ♪

♪ Species! ♪

Once upon an egg roll,

there was a super samurai kung fu fighting hero.

Her name?

The Bouncing Bunny!

Ho! Ha!

Ha-ha!

He-Yah!

[munching]

[warbling moan]

Okay.

And then...?

Gah, then... what?

Hey!

Gull you're the narrator, remember?

It's your story.

You can make ANYTHING happen.

Heyy!

Oh, yeah!

Yaa..

ok, then...

Bouncing Bunny, um... HELLO!

She arrived to save the villagers from...

Ooh!

A no-good villain squirrel!

That's you, Merl!

[sighs]

Yes, this I figure it out.

But no!

The squirrel, he will not play these ridiculouso games

of smashing the furniture and making the mess.

If you wish to play the chop saki grass hockey,

you can do this out of the side.

"Hi-Teriyaki!"

NO!

Again, I say:

I am NOT the karate-chopping bad guy.

This I am not.

But you sure look like a bad guy!

What?!

No, I do not!

But bad guys always yell.

I AM NOT YELLING!!!!

I mean...

Let me do the rephrasing again...

This time, dressed as an astronaut.

The Kung Fu villains, they do not look like this, yes?

I am off to space, wooosh,

where there are no Kung-Fu games.

The Villain used every evil trick he could think of,

including the old: "I am off to space, wooosh,

where there are no Kung-Fu games".

But...

err...

but...

Oooo!

[giggles]

But Bouncing Bunny was not a fool

who could be easily fooled!

Ha-HA!

Hello.

My name is Merl and this is my frowny face,

'cause I'm a big old grumpy party pooper.

PAA!

OK!

Enough of this!

I shall be your VILLAIN!

Really? Are ya sure?

Yes.

I am sure.

I mean, bein' a really good bad guy...

it ain't exactly a walk in the park Merl.

[laughs]

I will not only walk in this metaphoric park you speak of,

I will DESTROY the park!

I shall be the WORST KUNG-FU VILLAIN you ever,

ever imagined!

Eeeeeee-YAY!!!!!!

[panting]

The evil Kung-Fu squirrel rode into town.

I raid the village, plunder the town!

[sobbing]

I will close the orphanage.

HA!

[sobbing]

[evil laugh]

Cry little Panda's, CRY!

They asked for "evil?", the evil I give them.

Servant, come here.

Chop, chop!

Tell me old servant,

how long have you been working for me?

20 long years, oh noble rodent.

Excellente.

You are fired.

[still in silly voice] But why, master????

Because I am evil, ha-ha.

And rule with the fist of iron!

Yeah, nasty Kung-Fu Merl...

he was... err...

plungering the town and, ruling it with his...

erg...

iron tail!

This?!

It is not what I said.

Ya-huh!

I'm the narrator.

So everything I say, is true.

It's true Merl!

Narrator rules.

The metal tail?

This, I did not expect.

[kung-fu noises]

But the tail, she wags with extra evilness.

Merl the evil tail fighting squirrel

now ruled the land with his iron tail of...

STINK!

What!?

That is when the bouncing bunny they call...

'Bouncing Bunny'...

came to the rescue.

Wooooaaa!

Tail fighting squirrel you will not close the orphanage,

ha-ha!!!!!

But I already did!

See, the orphanage of which you speak, it is now closed.

HA-ha!

Ohh help!

It is very dark in here for my very sad orphan eyes!

Bouncing Bunny, it is, I, Tail-fighting Squirrel,

who tell you now, that I will do as you said I would not do,

yes, HA?

No! I do not know what it is that you just said

that you would do or not do

but it is not the doing or not doing that I would like to do.

AH-HAH!

Huh?

Uh?

Blaa...Ok?

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

[fight noises]

Aaaaiiii-ding!

Hey... No fair!!!

Then the Villainous Tail-fighter, hung his head and cried.

What!?!?

[cries]

He cried...

[cries]

And cried....

[cries]

...and cried

[cries]

...and cried...

[cries]

You made me cry.

Yes, I know.

I am sorry.

But you are the villain ha-haa!

[grunts]

You shall pay... for that...

which you just said.

Well, okay...

Only one shall be one who is the victorious... one.

Ha-haa!

Yeah, so, uh...

NARRATOR!

What happens next?

Oooo. I know

What is this?

It is Gullzilla!

Arrgggh!

Arrgghh!

[gasp]

Ha-ha!

Aghh!

Gullzilla!

[screams] Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gull!

Stick to the Kung-Fu story!

Oh, uh...

Sorry.

Ah, so, meanwhile...

The Villain Tail-fighter made the most powerful

tail fighting-tail in all the world.

Then he accidentally hit his thumb.

Yaaaa-ooowwwww!

Gull! Stop that!

My thumb, she cannot take the narration!

And then he checked to make sure that his awesome

new stink fighting tail was really, really stinky.

[gags]

Gull!!!

Then he burped. [burps]

Then he farted.

[loud fart]

Narrator!

This, it is enough!

[giggles]

Then, he let it rip with a 'Kung-Pow

Peee-ewwwwww'. [loud fart]

[growling] Ohh Gullllll!

[giggles]

And then he made a little squeaky air dumpling.

[fart]

[laugh]

And then...

[fart sounds]

Enough!

Let us move on.

His new tail fighting tail was so powerful,

no weapon could break it.

[grunts]

Plus it err...

had all kinds of other amazing powers

I haven't thunk up yet!

Even the narrator was so scared,

he clutched his panda Ting Ting.

Ha!

Ting Ting is NO-ting!

[grunt]

[evil laugh]

[snores]

What're you doing, Narrator?

Tail-fighter is stronger than ever.

To defeat him, we must battle together as one, ha-ha!

Oh. I-I did not know that ha-ha.

[whispering] That's 'cause I just added this bit

to the Kung-FU story.

Oooh! I like it.

And so began the training of the one they called...

Um... Gull-hopper!

Gull!

Get on with the story.

Oops, sorry!

Now that the training was over,

Gullhoper was ready to help Bouncing Bunny

take on the Evil Tail-Fighting Squirrel.

I will put an end to the beginning that is you,

starting now

With my magical super-fighting tail!

Hyah!

[snarls]

[Kung Fu cries]

Ha!

[gasps]

[Kung Fu cry]

[Kung Fu cries]

Yeah! Go Bouncing Bunny!

[Kung Fu cries]

[evil laugh]

[growls]

Wa-wa-woooo!

Duhh.

Ha! I am the victor who is victorious in his victory

over those who are not victorious, ha!

Err, sorry?

You're who now?

Never mind, Narrator!

And now... I shall do the finish of the finishing of you

who are finished, ha!

But then the narrator remembered something,

really important.

Err, Tail-fighter's fighting tail was never meant to be used

by bad guys, and... it could fly!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it could electrocute bad guys!

[electrocuted]

Then the magic tail fighting tail got its revenge!

[screams]

I regret no-thing!!!!!

Except for the farting.

Tail-fighter was beaten, by his own tail.

[groans]

Then what happened Gull?

Uhh... Well...

The evil Tail-fighter saw the error of his ways.

Yeah, and then what?!

And... He and his tail met up.

And then?

They were married....

...err... in the spring.

Awwwww.

Ya, and then they started a family...

...and lived happily ever afters.

Great story Mr. Narrator!

Ooo but then...

...there was a terrib-bibble storm.

And the brave jungle explorer

turned to his faithful elephant and said

"Oh faithful elephant"...

Mmmm...

Where is that remote?!

[gulping]

Nu-uh.

Uh-uh.

[gasp]

[gulp]

It's gotta be around here somewheres.

That remote didn't just magically turn invisible.

Wait a minute!

What if it did just magically turn invisible?

I'll just have to rely on my sensitive bunny ears.

[imitated radar noises]

Ay-yi-yi, Pickle.

You are making the mess.

This is how the things, they get lost, yes?

[gulping]

Que? Where is the nice stack of the couch cushions?

And where is the living room?!

[burps loudly]

Gull, did you just eat the entire living room?!?!

Hmmm, I might have.

What did it look like?

Oh, I don't know, the living room!?

Ahh, don't worry.

It always comes out in the end.

[loud fart]

Do that again.

[loud fart]

Gull, did you eat the TV Remote?

Nope. I don't think so.

But I did have a very

[smack smack smack]

number-y tasting sandwich.

[burp]

He swallowed the remote?

Ay-yi-yi!

The TV Remotes -- they make the mighty infrared waves!

[gasp]

We must get it out of him muy rapido.

[gasp]

Gull, stop!

The TV Remote has infrared lasers in it.

Each time you press the buttons

it's like a laser gun's Pew-pewing in your insides!

[gasps]

But don't worry, I've got a plan!

Huh?

What is this?

This is our ticket to a Fantastic Voyage!

Huh?

It's a shrink ray Gull found at the dump.

I did?

Oh yeah, it was delicious.

Then two days later it came out,

just like everything always does.

[groans]

I'll shrink down and travel through Gull's innards

and find that remote.

And how do you intend to do that?

[knocking]

Ok Merl, shrink down the sub.

Bueno.

I will guide you with the camera and the walkie-talkies.

Gull, you must eat the leeeetle submarine

so we can fix you, yes?

Oh no. I'm full.

I couldn't eat another-

[BUURP]

Oh hey!

That made some room. [burp]

Bombs away!

Pickle, activate the video guidance system.

Copy that Merl!

[gasp]

What is keeping you alive!

Hugs!

...Oh! and some gunk I found under the kitchen sink.

[groans]

Pickle, head toward the opening on the right.

Copy that, control.

Woa, what is this place?

I see sparks comin' from a big mess of tangled wires.

The remote could be buried in there!

Going in for a closer look.

Looks like we're going to have untangle this mess.

Wow! How'd you do that!?

Now try to find the other wing!

[gasp]

[babble]

Well it's not the remote,

but I believe I've uncovered another problem Gull.

I have a problem?

I wonder what this is for?

[grunt]

Pickle, your bumbling has caused the microstructure

of my cerebral cortex to become 403 times

more efficient than the average individual.

Que?

Looks like his brain was unplugged.

Ack! Do not touch the screens they are muy, muy delicate!

[sigh]

Merl, one of these screens has an ancient version

of video ping-pong on it

and another has the "Sale" sign that came with the monitor.

You have no idea what you are doing, do you Merl?

Well I-I may not be Mr. Perfecto, completely --

How do you even understand yourself?

[whimpers]

And you are attempting to fix The Gull

[chuckles]

The gall!

Now it is time someone with actual brains

was in charge around here.

[grumbles]

He may be the Mr. FancypantsBird With The Words of Bigness

but he is not the Mr. Nice Gull.

Now Pickle, travel down my trachea

and into my digestive tract until you reach the exit.

And do not touch anything in my delicate micro-system.

I am absolutely adamant about this Pickle -

remove yourself from my person immediately.

Copy that Control.

First I gotta get that Television Remote

so your insides don't explode.

The danger of Television Remotes is a myth

perpetrated by Luddites

who do not know the first thing about infrared technology.

A myth!

But the lasers they are- Hush now. Pickle?

Ooh! I'm coming up on something big here, Control!

Ah yes.

This is the part of a bird's anatomy called the Crop.

Everything I've eaten in the past 72 hours is stored here.

And there's the remote!

Ah! Ah see!

The remote!

Pickle, let me direct your attention

to the thousands of bacteria floating below you.

Right now they are placid but if you move anything,

including the television remote, they will chase you.

Don't worry Control, if I do this correctly

they'll never even know I was here...

No! I forbid it.

Leave the Television Remote alone!

[mimicking static]

What's that control

[static]

you seem to be breaking up.

Easy now, steady.

You can do this...

Uh-oh!

Gotta get these bacteria off my tail!

Uh-oh, bacteria's gaining on me!

Uh-huh!

Haha! Lost 'em.

[gasp]

If only I had some kind of laser shootin', button

pushin' thingy to blast 'em with, wait a minute!

Wait for it, wait for it!

Yipee Kai Yay Microorganisms.

Hahaha!

See, the remote waves they are Mucho powerfullisimo!

Isn't that what she went in there

to prevent from happening Merl?

[gasp]

[grumbling]

I wonder what's on this channel!

That's the last of them!

[coughing]

[coughs]

I warned you Pickle,

The chaos you are causing has initiated a volcanic release

of methane gas.

[long burp]

Ooh, pardon!

[gagging]

Pickle, escape, you must!

The gas, she is too much!

I'm with you on that Merl,

I just hope there aren't any other surprises.

[grunt]

[yelping]

[gasp]

The gas, is causing you

to prematurely return to normal size!

It is imperative that you vacate my intestines immediately!

Exiting through the gift shop, compadre!

[struggles]

Merl you gotta fix this!

Me?! But what am I to do?!

I am the fraud, I am nowhere near as smart as I wish I was.

And even less nowhere near as smart as this new Gull

of the super smartness!

How I wish the old Gull were here,

he could hug this all away!

That's it Merl!

You gotta hit Gull with a big whoppin' squirrely bear hug!

Ugh!

I'll take my chances with the intestinal pain.

You are making it muy difficulte to help you.

And speak proper English!!!

[burp]

OR at least proper Spanish!

¿Por qué es este difícil para usted?

Huh?

Why is this so difficult for you?

Gull! The smell is so bad I can taste it!!

Alright! I will do this!

But not for the new, funny-talkin', El Meano Gull,

but for the old lovable Gull who does not know

the better of this.

[yell]

[grunting]

He's gonna blow!!!

[loud long fart]

[scream] Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yelp]

Gull?

You okay, buddy?

Well actually-

[gagging]

I could use a hug.

Whew! That is the relief.

And, the entire living room, exactly as it was before!

Yo bird, that's some amazing fart powers you got there pal.

Just like I said: everything always comes out in the end.

Hey! Where's the TV remote.

Oh wait a sec!

I think I feel something!

Here you go Merl.

[yelps]

[groans]