Original subtitles

♪

Private event, sorry, folks!

Private event, carvers only.

It's a little night-before shindig for the competitors.

A chance for them to talk about the latest news, socialize.

I just pray we can get through this alive.

It's a little cocktail hour, that's all.

You mix alcohol and wood, you get fire.

Okay, some of our competitors are unique, yes.

But that's what makes

the Northern Alberta Carving Cup so special.

God help us.

Whichever god you pray to.

♪

Is this ink toxic?

- Oh, hello, Frank! - Hey!

Let's just verify that you're on the list

and we'll get Dennis here to set you up with your hand stamp.

Early bird as usual.

It says four o'clock on the invitation, Dennis.

Well, look at that. It's four o'clock.

Yup.

How we coming along with that list, Barb?

Just a few technical difficulties.

There's no technical difficulties

with good old paper.

No, no, that's the back up emergency paper list.

We are operating digitally this year.

Well, this seems like a little bit of an emergency,

don't you think?

Yes.

Oh, yes, see? There I am.

Whoa, you made a mistake, Barb.

Or is this some kind of sick joke?

It says here that Donald Sinclair is competing this year.

Don't you think that would be a little difficult,

him being dead and all?

Ah! Oh, no, no, no, Frank. That's not a mistake, actually.

That's his son, they have the same name.

♪

How do you lock the key inside?

Good evening, Barbara, Dennis.

Allow me to introduce my lovely wife, Simran.

- Very nice to meet you. - It's a pleasure.

Speaking of pleasure, Amandeep, it is with great pleasure

that I welcome you to your very first

Carver's Night Before Mixer!

Welcome carver!

Oh, stop it, guys!

Listen, it was just a matter of time.

Being such a fan and all, you know?

We knew that eventually, I had to whet my bill!

(laughing)

Well, enjoy your evening!

Thank you.

Babe, do you know who this is? Recognize the voice?

This is the MC, Dennis!

From that law firm commercial on the radio? AM 620?

Dennis: Aman, come on.

Will you just do it once for us?

Oh, please! I'm working right now, I can't.

Please?

(sighing)

Were you hurt in an accident?

Well, we won't put a dent in your pocket,

because we only get paid--

- When you win. - When you win.

Oh! Wow! Okay, that's where I recognized it from.

Yeah, they went bankrupt, but... Whatever.

I never really fully got paid, but good experience.

(chattering)

Mary Jane Olinyuk.

Hi, yeah. Donald.

Ah, you're a virgin, right?

I-- I've had sex.

Oh, no, no, I mean first time competing in the competition.

I didn't mean, like, sex. Hah.

Jeez, Mary Jane. Don't make it weird.

Uh, yeah, it is my first time.

But you probably know my dad, Donald Sinclair.

Oh, no. He's dead.

Yeah. He passed away shortly after last year's competition.

Okay, uh, new topic. Come on, Mary Jane, pivot.

No more dead dad stuff. Umm...

- What was your name again? - My name's Donald.

Oh, that's your dead dad's name, hey?

(exhaling)

Yeah, well...

Um, you-- your parents are both with us?

Yeah, I mean, maybe--

I haven't checked my phone all day, so probably.

Your name Donald?

Never mind.

Merganser.

No, no, no. Canvasback.

Pardon me?

That's what you carved. I can tell.

From your energy.

Oh, no, no. I'm not a carver.

I'm here supporting my boyfriend.

(chuckling)

Well, if you ever decided to take the leap,

I'm pretty sure that would be your first species.

- Oh yeah? - Mm-hm.

That's if you have the fortitude.

What do you mean?

Art is not for everyone.

Really?

Yeah.

It's like, the scariest thinu'.

Oh.

Anyway, art is one of those things

that just makes everything else pale in comparison.

So if you do take the plunge,

I just hope that your stomach is strong enough for it.

Oh, well, I'm an ER doctor, so I should be okay.

Oh my gosh, it's like, two of us that are saving lives!

Man: I moved out from Toronto this year. Um, new career.

Down with the corporate world!

Fievel... went west, as they say.

That's one of my favourite films.

Me too!

And what, may I ask, do you do whilst you're not shaping birds?

- I'm a beekeeper. - Oh, that's so funny!

I haven't heard any bumblings about that.

(laughing)

Strange, because there's been quite the buzz.

(clearing throat)

- Mary Jane. - Mr. Brunswick.

- Your name Donald? - I mean, who's asking?

Me. Frank Brunswick.

Oh, no. I am-- I'm sorry, my name is Shane.

Oh, are you looking for Donald Sinclair's son?

Uh, I saw him earlier.

Apparently he's been taking lessons with Rhett, so...

Rhett?!

God damn it.

So where were we?

Oh, well, we were in the middle of some pun-flirting.

Is there any other kind?

Oh, God, you are my kind of woman.

You really are the bee's knees--

Shh.

You're about to get some honey, bee man.

Buzz, buzz.

Sometimes people need that little injection

that reminds them what we're here for.

And what you'll find out, buddy, is that everybody here

is an illusion in the face of art.

There is no olive.

Skin is like paper.

You draw on it, and it tells you the way.

I read that silly rule book of theirs,

don't even get me started.

You know, Donald would rather stay in on a Friday night

than go out with me.

He chooses duck carving over this!

Look, listen, okay?

The more time he spends with that duck, the better.

For the first time since we've been married,

I finally have me-time, and it is brilliant.

Does Amandeep talk to it?

- Every morning. - No...

He says "good morning, ducky! How did you sleep, ducky?"

- He doesn't even ask me that. - Oh.

Yeah, and he does these breathing exercises.

(inhaling rapidly)

- No... - Mm-hm!

You know, I don't think Donald changed his flannel once

the entire time he was carving.

Mm-hm, it's like they want to wear a uniform, right?

Like little boy playing dress up.

I know! Exactly!

- Cheers. - Cheers, yeah.

(women laughing)

- No ins or outs, Zeke. - This isn't a bordello.

I know.

Well, it's not a bordello anymore.

Oh, come on. I was only kidding.

- I get it, it is funny. - It's... yeah.

- You must be Donald. - Yeah.

- Sinclair. - Yeah.

And you have a bird in this year's competition?

I do, yeah.

Can I give you a little advice?

By all means, yeah.

So why don't you take your millennial irony

and shove it up your ass? - Pardon me?

There are people who care about carving

and have been doing it for years!

And you waltz in here with that funky haircut

and you act like you deserve to be here!

You should get some respect, kid.

Who the hell do you think you are?

Holy crap, he is rude!

Oh, he's just a grumpy old man.

- Let's get out of here. - Yeah.

♪

Double this time.

Excuse me, make it a double as well.

My chances of winning? Come on, guys.

I haven't even thought about it that far. I mean, phew!

Hey, Frankie, can I get your a triple? Huh?

Sir, please make it two triples.

I'm just happy-- I'm just happy being able to participate.

I'm happy to be part of the fraternity.

Hey, Frankie, can we do a cheers?

You know, the real competition was here, inside.

Just getting here is the victory.

Oh my God.

Everything else is just the cherry on top, you know?

I'm having a blast.

I see us having a good relationship together.

You know, it's rare.

And it's going to get rarer.

(quacking)

I'm a fraud.

My dad was so good at this,

and I thought I could just whip something together.

Tomorrow is gonna be so embarrassing.

No, no, no, no! You are not a fraud.

And you didn't just whip something together.

You have been busting your ass for this for months.

And sure, it's your first year,

but you've taken all the right steps, yeah?

You got a little help, but it's been you, Donald.

And it's been really cool

watching you work so hard at something.

I believe in you. You've got this.

Thank you.

(loon calling)

(loon calling)

(loon calling)

(loon calling)

(loon calling)