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1
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:05,600
Eyah, slut!
2
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:06,960
What slut?
3
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,880
I hear you bin hanging around James,
playing Xbox.
4
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,280
Who James?
5
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:13,960
I play biggest mob games
with biggest mob James.
6
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,400
Bent budhoo James.
7
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:16,520
Oh, bent budhoo James.
8
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,360
Yeah, I was helping him
straighten it out last night.
9
00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,040
It proper straight
like cucumber now.
10
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:22,840
The only thing you need
to straighten out is your life.
11
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,560
Everybody knows you got
the biggest hole in Townsville.
12
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,640
Anyway... can't even sing.
(Gasps)
13
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,120
Can't even act.
14
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,000
(Gasps)
15
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:36,520
(Sobs)
16
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,600
Well, what's this, then, slut?
17
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:41,880
(Gasps)
18
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,000
Well, what's this, then, slut?
19
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:55,400
(Coughs)
Well, what's this, then, slut?
20
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,840
(Sighs) Well, what's
this ...then... slut?
21
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,320
(Gasps)
22
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,440
(FRENCH ACCENT) Well, what's zis,
then, slut? Ho-ho-ho.
23
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:10,080
(Gasps and coughs)
24
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,880
Well, what's this, then... slut?
25
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:26,000
(Sobs)
Well, what's this, then, slut?!
26
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,000
(Wails)
27
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,160
Theme music
28
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,000
Damn it!
29
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,760
Wow.
30
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,240
(Toilet flushes)
31
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,680
Deadly, Dave!
32
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,480
ALL: Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
33
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,680
Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
34
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,120
Hey!
35
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,360
Oh, Germany. Nice!
36
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:57,680
Better pack your Lederhosen.
37
00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,160
Oh, very gut!
38
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,400
(All laugh)
39
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:04,960
Ready?
40
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,800
Mark! Mark! Mark!
Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!
41
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:13,120
Oh! Wow, there's nothing there,
mate, you'll be floundering.
42
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,280
I'll probably have a whale of time.
(All laugh)
43
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,560
Better go again, go on.
Ready?
44
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,320
Mark! Mark! Mark!
Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!
45
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:26,240
(All cheer)
Brazil!
46
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,920
Come on, big fella.
(Animated chatter)
47
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,720
Up you come.
Ready? Yep.
48
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:37,360
Round and round and round he goes,
where he lands, nobody knows.
49
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:38,960
Whoo!
50
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:45,280
That...
just sent a shiver up my spine.
51
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,080
I think we just had a moment.
52
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,520
Whoa!
Mate, what are you doing?
53
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,520
The tack has spoken.
54
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,040
Why do I always have to go to Uluru?
55
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,520
You put the tack in.
56
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,280
The tack. It's in. Mate.
It's in. The tack.
57
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:02,960
Yeah, but I'm always
going to Uluru.
58
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,080
Like, I've been there,
like, 20 times.
59
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,000
I wanna go somewhere else. I wanna
go, like, Brazil or something.
60
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,600
Mark's already going to Brazil.
The tack spoke.
61
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,320
Mark, Brazil. The tack. Done.
62
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,360
Mark got another turn!
I want another turn.
63
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,240
Fine. Let him have another turn.
64
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,960
Alright, go on then. Go on.
Yes!
65
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,880
And I want you to sing too.
66
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,600
OK.
67
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:32,880
Round and round and round he goes,
where he lands nobody knows.
68
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,360
It's calling to you, mate.
It's calling you home.
69
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,040
I'm not even from there!
70
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,400
This is a travel show
and I don't even have passport.
71
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,960
I never leave Australia.
I wanna go on a plane.
72
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,160
I want a stopover.
73
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,760
I want a stamp on my passport, OK?
I want a stamp on my passport!
74
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,720
Is that what this is about, Ernie?
You want a stamp on your passport.
75
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,320
I can put a stamp in your passport.
76
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,920
I've got one with a smiley face.
No, I don't wanna a stamp!
77
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,920
I've got one with a star.
It's not the stamp.
78
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,920
You're always sending me to, like,
Kimberleys or Kakadu or Uluru.
79
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,160
It's just a rock, guys.
It's just a rock.
80
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:13,840
I always thought it was really nice.
81
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,640
It's just a rock!
82
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,560
OK, I've got a couple of ideas,
I've been thinkin'.
83
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,200
What about sending me to New York?
84
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,320
Hey? Hey, hey, hey? Alright.
85
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,200
'It's me, Ernie Dingo,
here in Times Square,
86
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,280
eating an apple in the Big Apple.'
87
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,560
OK, don't like it? Alright,
alright, alright. What about this?
88
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,600
'It's me, Ernie Dingo.
Now, people love me.' Alright.
89
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,080
'Ernie Dingo here...'
Ernie, Ernie, Ernie.
90
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,840
Guys, I think
this is a cultural thing. OK?
91
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,640
You know, he's probably going
through a bit of sorry business,
92
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,040
needs to go on walkabout.
93
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,600
Is that right? We just
need to be sensitive. Alright?
94
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,160
We need to be culturally sensitive.
95
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:56,120
Screw you, man. Fuck walkabout!
96
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,440
It's always sad
when they go like this.
97
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,160
You know what this is? Huh?
98
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:08,320
You only want to send me to black
places where black people are.
99
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,840
That is totally inappropriate.
It's because...
100
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,680
No, Ernie, that's racist. Alright?
101
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,760
You're being racist and that's
making everyone very uncomfortable.
102
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,520
(Sobs)
103
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,280
Now look what you've done.
Are you happy? Eh? You happy now?
104
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,560
It's okay, Catriona.
It's alright. It's alright.
105
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,920
Sshh, sshh, sshh.
106
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,760
OK, fine. I'll go to Uluru.
107
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,120
Stop crying. Right?
108
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,160
I'm just...
109
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,000
I'm just having a bad day.
110
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,800
(Sighs)
111
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,280
(It's OK, he's gone.)
112
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,960
(Sighs)
113
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,800
Come on now.
You gonna be a good girl?
114
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,080
You gonna give Daddy some money?
115
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,360
Oh, come on now.
116
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,200
Come on, baby, don't be so tight.
117
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,480
You know I only play you.
118
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:26,720
Look at you, you're just so...
pretty with all your lines.
119
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,960
And you're so colourful,
yes, you are.
120
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,640
Just make me wanna press your buttons
like that, you big running bear.
121
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,360
Come on, you big running bear, baby!
122
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,960
You gonna give me the jackpot?
You gonna give me the free spins?
123
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:39,880
Yeah, what about the free spins, huh?
Come on?
124
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,880
Give me the free spin now!
Come on, baby.
125
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,600
(Cackles and gasps)
126
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,080
I got to ask you to leave.
127
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,920
Oh, sorry, we just... I just...
Now.
128
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,760
Come on. Come on, sir. Come on.
129
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,960
(Strains)
Come on.
130
00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,080
I'll be back next week
to collect what you took off me.
131
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,920
Don't any of you touch her!
She's mine. Just leave here alone.
132
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,440
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.
Stupid idiot.
133
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,160
'Eating an apple in the Big Apple.'
Fucking idiot.
134
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:22,440
Just act white.
Act white in here. Just...
135
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,240
(Mutters gibberish)
136
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,720
You stupid fat, dumb, dumb,
fat fucking...
137
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,280
Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you.
138
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,760
(Sobs)
139
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,840
You're Ernie Dingo.
You're Ernie fucking Dingo.
140
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,520
OK, alright.
141
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,680
Oh, what you got a new onephay?
Yeah, it's red hot.
142
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,720
Oh, what, call the cops!
143
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,240
Sshh, not to oudlay.
144
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,080
(Oh, what, call the cops!)
145
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,120
Bra. Eyes and ears, bra.
146
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,640
Oh, where'd ya get that from?
147
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,560
Not like back in the day, eh?
148
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,040
We didn't even have mobile phones
back then.
149
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:30,680
It was pay phone job and only rich
fellas had home phone at home there.
150
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,000
Broke into the phone shop, lifted
it straight off the countertop.
151
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,680
They didn't even see me coming, bra.
152
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,320
Inglis and Merritt,
they ain't got nothing on me.
153
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,160
I could've done the whole shop over.
Oh, what? Call the cops!
154
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,960
Sshh, not too loud, bra.
Eyes and ears, bra.
155
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,640
Hi, love. I see you got
the mobile phone I bought you.
156
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,200
Is that the one you wanted?
157
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,640
Yeah, Nan.
158
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,360
It's working OK?
Yeah.
159
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:57,880
You got a job yet?
Nah, Nan.
160
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,880
Nah, I haven't.
Huh? No.
161
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:05,080
Gee, 38-year-old, still living
at home with Mum and Dad. No job.
162
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,000
Just leave me alone now, please.
I'm with my bra.
163
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:12,080
Your bra wanna get a job too.
Make sure you ring me now.
164
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,040
Eh, look out. 'Make sure
you ring me now'. Call the cops!
165
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,520
Hello, Margaret.
166
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,080
What are you two doing together?
167
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,800
Nothing.
168
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,640
I just saw your pokie all alone
looking unattended,
169
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:44,600
so I thought I'd come over and...
give her a press.
170
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,840
How dare you. You have no right.
171
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,280
Well, I didn't think
I'd see your face here again.
172
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,240
Pretty shame what happened
last time.
173
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,320
You, of all people, should know that
nothing comes between me and my girl.
174
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,480
Though I find it surprising
175
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,960
she's letting you press
her buttons so easily.
176
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,200
I usually have to press them
pretty hard to get her to work.
177
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,440
Maybe that's your problem.
178
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,800
Maybe you're just not
pressing her right.
179
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,800
Aren't you banned?
180
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,560
Banned? (Chuckles)
181
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,240
They'd never ban me.
They know how good I am to my girl.
182
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,720
I've given her plenty
over the last six months.
183
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,160
Six months. What a waste of time.
184
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,440
What's that supposed to mean?
You know exactly what I mean.
185
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,360
Don't play games with me, Margaret.
186
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,240
Funny you should mention games.
187
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,120
Why?
You wanna know why?
188
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,240
'Cause that's what
she's been giving me all afternoon.
189
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,200
Free games, baby.
190
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,640
I don't believe you.
191
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,120
Got free games in the free games.
192
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:45,880
Hush your lips.
That's right.
193
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,400
Gave me five of a kind.
No.
194
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,120
Times ten.
Lies!
195
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,400
And then she gave me
the mini jackpot.
196
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,680
You cruel, cruel woman!
197
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,400
Right before she gave me
the major jackpot.
198
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,760
It's not true.
I don't believe you.
199
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,880
Then what's... this?
200
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,400
(Sobs)
201
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,160
(Laughs)
202
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,680
You better run
and don't bother coming back,
203
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,680
because she's mine, you hear me?
204
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:18,160
All mine! (Laughs maniacally)
205
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,400
Oh, good, you're late. Hat off.
206
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,000
Make sure before we go into court
that you straighten yourself up.
207
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,560
Why? What's wrong with how I look?
208
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,640
Those jeans for a start.
209
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,720
If you walk into Judge Daniels' court
dressed like that,
210
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:42,800
he'll lose his shit.
211
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,880
So? It's a free country.
I can dress how I want.
212
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,760
Yeah, maybe so,
but Judge Daniels is old school.
213
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,640
You look up 'traditional judge'
in the dictionary and...
214
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,960
Oh. Holy shit. Here he comes now.
215
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,320
Good morning, Judge Daniels.
216
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,720
Good morning, Mr Adams.
Is this your client, is it?
217
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,200
Yes, sir. This is Geoffrey.
218
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,760
Well, Geoffrey,
I hope you don't think
219
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,080
you're coming into my courtroom
dressed like that.
220
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,520
No, sir.
Good.
221
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,280
Disrespect like that could
see you your being head cut off.
222
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,080
Good day, gentleman.
223
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,880
Oh. I'm sorry. Sorry.
Are you OK, sir?
224
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,240
Actually, I was just looking
for the dairy aisle,
225
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,440
but I think I've taken
a wrong turn somewhere.
226
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,960
Yes, you have, but don't you worry,
227
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,800
I'm more than happy to help you
and take you there.
228
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,760
Thank you, that's very kind.
That's no worries.
229
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,440
OK, sir, we're nearly there.
Yeah.
230
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,440
Alright. OK, here we go.
231
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:24,800
Here we go, sir. Now, would you
like me to grab anything for you?
232
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,480
Oh, aren't you a sweetheart?
233
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,280
If you could just grab me
some cheese, please.
234
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,400
Yeah, no worries.
Any kind in particular?
235
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,520
Coon cheese.
Pardon?
236
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:37,560
Coon cheese. Just some
of the Coon cheese, please.
237
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,360
It's because I'm black, isn't it?
238
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:41,720
Excuse me?
239
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,080
You asked for the Coon cheese
because I'm black.
240
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,680
I'm sorry,
I didn't realise you were black.
241
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,080
Don't play games with me.
You knew the moment you saw me.
242
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,440
But I'm blind.
Bullshit!
243
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,280
Is this what you do for kicks?
Is this fun to you?
244
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,000
I told you, I'm blind.
245
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,000
That's right.
246
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:03,880
Blind to the suffering of my people,
blind to the hurt and the pain
247
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,280
you cause with your insensitive
ill-informed racist jokes,
248
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,640
blind to the torment
people like you cause
249
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:15,200
when you ask for your...
your Coon cheese!
250
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,400
I'm going to give you
until the count of three.
251
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:23,360
One... two... That's it.
252
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,320
You like that? (Gasps)
You think it's funny, huh?
253
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,280
You racist.
You think that's funny now. See?
254
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,160
Do you see? See?
255
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,160
Martin.
Where's your guide dog, Martin?
256
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,040
Is he really blind?
257
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,600
Yes!
258
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:53,120
And remember, Martin,
you're on Aboriginal land.
259
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,480
Has she gone? Has she gone?
Yes, she's gone. She's gone.
260
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,080
Are you sure?
Hold my hand.
261
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,560
(I'll call you later..)
(Don't make it too late.)
262
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,800
Who was that woman just then?
263
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,840
Jenny.
What's her last name?
264
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,040
Anderson.
From Mt Isa, eh?
265
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,800
Yeah. How you know?
266
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,600
That's Granny Evelyn's mob?
What?
267
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,240
Well, Granny Evelyn's grandfather
was married to this one woman
268
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,720
who had three kids to this one fella
from Cloncurry whose cousin
269
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,080
was twice divorced from
that same man who fathered a boy
270
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,880
to that one Afghani aunty whose
ex-husband was running around
271
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:47,400
with this one woman who
was married... to an Anderson.
272
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,720
So that makes...
273
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,800
You're cousins.
274
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:57,200
Here, start scrubbing your tongue
and your budhoo
275
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,200
'cause that be some incestuous shit.
276
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:11,080
As I tell you, he who will betray me,
sits at this table.
277
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,760
What?
(Animated chatter)
278
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,280
I'm not like that.
279
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,480
I'm hungry.
What?
280
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:20,960
I'm hungry.
281
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,280
(Animated chatter)
282
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,640
Can we order?
283
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,040
Yes, but make it quick.
(Whistles)
284
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,480
I'll get the duck.
Do you have honey chicken?
285
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,880
No.
Alright, I'll have the duck.
286
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,200
Finished?
Yes.
287
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,880
We can go on?
Now, where was I?
288
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,840
Yes.
289
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,880
One of you will betray me.
290
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,960
(Animated chatter)
291
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,920
Who ordered the duck?
I did.
292
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,120
Crispy skin?
Yes, please.
293
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,800
Judas, you know,
one day I'm gonna drive you, man.
294
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,200
What?
295
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,160
Don't 'what' me.
You're being passive aggressive.
296
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:06,680
You know exactly what you're doing.
297
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,480
Passive aggressive? Me? Moi?
298
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,360
I didn't cause the waiter
to come back in.
299
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,680
It says crispy skin on the menu.
That is your last warning.
300
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,440
ALL: Ooooh!
301
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,680
Last warning, that's not fair.
302
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,840
Do you want another one?
303
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,480
No. No.
304
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,280
Well, cut the shit.
Alright, where was I?
305
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:33,840
Eat of this bread -
it is of my flesh.
306
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:38,520
Drink of this wine -
it is of my blood.
307
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,920
Is that a bit weird? That's weird.
308
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,320
That's a bit weird. That's weird.
309
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,800
It's a metaphor, dickhead.
310
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,800
Alright. Jesus, settle down.
311
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,800
I tell you I'm going to bust your
mouth. When you gonna shut up, man?
312
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,720
I'm trying to do something here.
313
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,080
Will you shut up? Shut up.
314
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:15,080
Eat of this bread - it is of my body.
315
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,720
Drink of this...
316
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,520
I think I'll have some chicken
with my bread.
317
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,040
Ooh, Jesus, that looks nice.
318
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,560
Yeah, Jesus, that's beautiful.
319
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:26,640
All kidding aside, seriously,
that is some good body of Christ.
320
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,200
Have you tasted this blood of
Christ? Got a real fruity flavour,
321
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,760
but a subtle...
No, no, no.
322
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,160
Hey, hey, hey, that's not how
you're supposed to use the terms.
323
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,840
Oh, man. Oh...
324
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,440
(Chatter)
325
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,560
Oh, whatever. I need to find myself
some new apostles, man.
326
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,840
I'm sorry.
I just can't do this anymore.
327
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,400
Not after what you did to me
with Margaret.
328
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:07,080
I've... tried to look past it
but it's not something
329
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,040
I can forgive easily.
330
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:17,800
I guess it's my fault in a way.
I should've read the signs.
331
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:23,520
You just weren't giving me anything,
yet I kept expecting something.
332
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:30,840
It's OK, though. I've...
I've met a new game.
333
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,520
It's still early in our relationship
but it looks promising.
334
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,040
She's already given me free spins
a few times
335
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:43,840
and just yesterday
she put out a major jackpot.
336
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,480
500 bucks.
337
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,600
I know it's not the 728
you gave me once,
338
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,880
but we both know
that was a long time ago.
339
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,600
And besides...
340
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,040
..her buttons are a lot easier
to press.
341
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,280
So goodbye.
342
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,600
I'm going to go play her now.
343
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,240
I hope you're happy with Margaret.
344
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,280
I really do.
345
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,000
(Gasps) We shouldn't.
346
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,320
You know what happened last time.
347
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:25,760
What about Margaret?
348
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,600
OK.
349
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,600
Just once more for old times sake.
350
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,880
Oh. Yeah!
351
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,000
Oh, you like that when
I press your buttons, yeah?
352
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,480
Yeah, you like that.
353
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:50,960
Oh, yeah! What about the jackpot?
354
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,400
You got the jackpot for me, huh?
Where's the jackpot? Oh! Oh!
355
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,520
It's OK, OK, I know.
It's time to go.
356
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,800
I will always love you. (Sobs)
357
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,560
Pillia Mittigar, children.
358
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:27,160
Today I'm going to tell you the story
of how earthquakes were made.
359
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:36,400
A long, long time ago in
the Dreamtime, there was a tribe.
360
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,640
This tribe specialised
in corroborees and entertainment.
361
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,200
They were known throughout the land.
362
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:47,800
One day, they decided they were going
to make a children's TV show.
363
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,840
For children just like you.
364
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,600
They needed a storyteller
to tell their Dreamtime stories.
365
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:58,480
They searched far and wide,
but they had no luck.
366
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,280
Then one night,
at a koorioke competition,
367
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,080
they found her on stage,
368
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,880
singing her signature song, Jolene,
369
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,200
and drinking her signature drink,
a rum and Coke.
370
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,560
They asked her to come join them.
371
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,840
They said they'd make her
the biggest, most famous storyteller
372
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,080
in all of the lands.
373
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,600
So she did.
374
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,360
The beautiful storyteller
stuck by the tribe
375
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,680
and soon they had the highest
afternoon ratings in all the land.
376
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,240
But then things started to change.
377
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,480
Her story time kept getting
shorter and shorter.
378
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:41,080
And after what she thought was a
minor disagreement with the director,
379
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,840
she was called in
for a meeting with the bosses.
380
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,040
They asked her if there was
anything going on at home
381
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,520
that they should know about,
382
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,800
and then told her to take two weeks
off because she 'deserves a break'.
383
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:57,640
So she did, and she felt so refreshed
that she came back early.
384
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:02,640
But when she gets back to the studio,
someone else is in her story place,
385
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,480
a different storyteller -
386
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:09,680
a younger storyteller,
a slimmer storyteller,
387
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,560
Cara the Crocodile,
her replacement.
388
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:18,120
Cara the Crocodile, fucking
pointy toothed, Miss Logie winner,
389
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,200
size eight,
thinks her shit don't stink.
390
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:28,120
So the storyteller smiles and she
goes to her last week of filming
391
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:33,280
and she pretends that she's happy,
but she isn't.
392
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,080
Inside, she is fuming.
393
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,440
Inside, she's ready to explode.
394
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,960
No-one replaces her. No-one!
395
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,040
Especially not with
Cara the Crocodile,
396
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,040
fucking Cara the dumb shit Crocodile!
397
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,800
(Shouts indistinctly)
398
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:55,760
I'm top bitch around here! Me!
399
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:59,240
Fuck you, idiots! Fuck 'em! Fuck 'em!
400
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,400
(Chuckles)
401
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:09,800
And that, children, is the Dreamtime
story of how earthquakes are made.
402
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,960
I could fucking kill youse!
403
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:13,960
(Shrieks)
404
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,880
(Shrieking and barking like a dog)
405
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,560
Oh! Oh!
406
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,840
Eyah, slut.
407
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:30,960
What slut?
408
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:32,200
Can't even root.
409
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,480
(Gasps)
Well, what's this, then, slut?
410
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,000
Well, what's this, then, slut?
411
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,280
BOTH: Well, what's this, then, slut?
Well, what's this, then, slut?
412
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:41,760
Oh, yeah,
well, what's this, then, slut?
413
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,080
Ooh, yeah!
(Smacking)
414
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,720
What's this, then, slut?
415
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:50,200
Well, what's this, then... sluts?
416
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,080
Mark Johnson.
417
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,160
Fuck, yeah!
418
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:03,080
(Speaks in Pig Latin gibberish)
419
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:08,080
(Continues speaking in Pig Latin
gibberish)
420
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:16,880
(Continues speaking
in Pig Latin gibberish)
421
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:26,240
(Continues speaking in Pig Latin
gibberish)
422
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,600
Know what I saying?
Yeah.
423
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,280
Nuh.
424
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:33,280
Eh?
425
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,280
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